- 14 minutes ago
Terry Crews and his wife Rebecca King Crews are reflecting on their 37-year love story — from meeting as college sweethearts to building a marriage that’s endured real-life challenges, faith and forgiveness
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00:00I don't know where I end and she begins.
00:03There's no separation.
00:06Where I know a lot of people put their kids first
00:08and this and this, but check it out.
00:10Your kids are gonna leave.
00:11Kids grow up, they go, they live their lives.
00:14We're here forever.
00:15This is never going anywhere.
00:20Okay, I'll start.
00:21All right, this is great.
00:24I was 19 years old.
00:26I was, you know, trying to earn a scholarship
00:30at Western Michigan University.
00:33And a friend of mine invited me on a Wednesday night
00:38to a church service.
00:40I walk in and I look, and it's real.
00:45First thing I noticed was the music.
00:46The music was really funky.
00:48It wasn't church music.
00:50And then I looked at the key, on the keyboard,
00:52there was a young lady and it was her.
00:55She was so young and so pretty and striking.
01:00I was like, what, who is this?
01:03Like, and she's playing a keyboard, like, funky.
01:07And I was just-
01:07I was playing two keyboards.
01:09Two, yes.
01:10It was like, she was so talented.
01:12It was noticeable immediately.
01:14Like, you walk in and it's like, you see the star immediately.
01:18Like, who is that?
01:19And I just sat there like, wow, I don't know who this is, but I can't stop looking.
01:25And I felt kind of bad.
01:27You know, you're in church.
01:28You know what I mean?
01:29Like, let me keep my eye on, let me focus on what the pastor has to say and the whole
01:34thing.
01:34And then after church, it turns out my friend knew her.
01:41And she came over and said, hey, to my friend, the one who invited me.
01:46And I was like, whoa, and I was just kind of waiting for my time, you know, just respectfully.
01:52And I have no game at all, very awkward, very whack.
01:57And I just went, uh, I like the way you play that keyboard, sister.
02:02It was the most awkward.
02:04And I knew coming out, it just looked, sounded funny.
02:07And I knew, oh boy, kerplunk.
02:10You know, like the words that all I said, it just went wrong.
02:12Can I jump in right there?
02:13Yeah, go ahead.
02:14Go ahead.
02:17Well, first I want to say he's right.
02:19Our church was very funky.
02:20I'd been there about a year when Terry joined.
02:23And by then the pastor had, which was very controversial.
02:28I just had a baby.
02:29I was not married.
02:30And this pastor put me in charge of their music department to build it.
02:34Because at the time he had himself and one singer.
02:36So I'm up there doing my thing.
02:38And I'm in a place where I'm like, I don't need a man.
02:41I don't need that.
02:42I'm going to get my degree.
02:43I'm going to get my beauty license.
02:44I'm going to do my thing, my thing.
02:46And Terry comes up in this really tight t-shirt that looks like he's had it since he was in
02:56sixth grade.
02:57I probably had.
02:58I always say that it was Tweety Bird on the t-shirt.
03:01That's what I remember.
03:02But he said it wasn't Tweety Bird, but it was yellow.
03:04And my first thought was, why is this boy wearing this skin tight shirt to church?
03:10Like, is he trying to get somebody?
03:12You know, Joe introduced us.
03:15Yeah.
03:16He's like, oh, it's my friend Terry.
03:17And then he said the line about the keyboard.
03:20And I thought, give me a break, dude.
03:23Like, really?
03:24No, it was really.
03:25Immediately she was like, thank you.
03:27And it was just awful.
03:28Well, and he interrupted us.
03:29Like, me and Joe were talking.
03:30Well, I was waiting for my time.
03:32And he poked, he kind of tapped me and said it.
03:34And I was like, I'm talking to my friend.
03:37You know, it was a little bit.
03:39It was awkward.
03:39I dissed you a little bit.
03:41My thing is, I messed it up.
03:42I knew it went kaplunk.
03:45But I just couldn't stop looking at her.
03:48But I just remember there was an instant connection.
03:51When I say instant, it's like you see someone and all of a sudden there's a future.
03:59And I didn't know what to say.
04:01I didn't know how to call it.
04:03But I just knew that's how that was going to be.
04:07And over the course of the next six months, we kept getting, being in the same circle.
04:15Joe kept inviting him.
04:17Well, Sam, being a single person at church, I didn't get invited anywhere.
04:22So I was like kind of lonely sitting at home on the weekends.
04:25So when Joe would say, hey, let's all go to eat, I'd just go.
04:29I'd drop my daughter with her dad.
04:31And I'd go and he'd be there.
04:33It'd be just them and us.
04:35So then I started going, okay, y'all think you're slick, you know.
04:39And I think Terry and I both told them, don't do that anymore.
04:42Like, don't surprise us.
04:44And if we like each other, we'll figure it out.
04:46And then we started hanging out.
04:48I just remember wanting to be around her.
04:51When Joe did invite us and I found out she was there, I was always happy.
04:55Like, there she is, hey, Rebecca, you know.
04:59Now, again, I was so young, I couldn't see a future.
05:03I'm like, a family?
05:05I'm 19.
05:06I'm a kid myself.
05:07I feel like this little baby, I can't handle that, you know.
05:11This is a woman with a child.
05:14This is serious business.
05:17But every time we talked, it was the best conversation.
05:22It was just like, wow, oh, man.
05:24And I wanted to know more.
05:25I wanted to know what she was.
05:26And I found out she was Miss Gary, Indiana, 1984.
05:33And she won these beauty pageants.
05:35I found out that, you know, she was super talented, had all A's in school.
05:40And then her music ability was the other thing that was super talented.
05:44I was always drawn to people with amazing talent.
05:48And she was so talented.
05:50After about the six months, and we literally were just friends.
05:54Like, we would just hang out, have pizza, nothing romantic.
05:57He asked me on, like, a date.
05:59And he made baked beans and barbecue.
06:03And we sat at his house talking.
06:06And then he asked me to go to what was probably one of the nicest restaurants in Kalamazoo.
06:12It's called Great Lakes Shipping Company.
06:13It's seafood.
06:14And he said, I want to take you to this nice place.
06:18And then he backed out on me.
06:20He called me up and he said, oh, I'm getting my check.
06:23But I got to pay this bill first.
06:25And so I can't take you this week.
06:27I was expecting him to, oh, OK, he's kind of backing away.
06:31OK, it's fine.
06:32It's fine.
06:32And then he called me the next week.
06:34He said, are we still good for dinner?
06:35Because now this check is free and we can go.
06:38I was like, oh, OK, he's not lying to me.
06:43And we went to this dinner.
06:46And so we dressed really dressed up.
06:49And I was shocked because I had never seen her like this.
06:52Yeah.
06:52She was already beautiful, like, beautiful.
06:56And then when she got dressed up, like, I was like, whoa.
07:00I opened the door and she was like, hi.
07:01I was like, oh.
07:02I remember my breath just went, whoa.
07:09And then after our date that night, a band I used to play in was playing at the Greek Fest.
07:18And I talked the guy into letting him in because he was under 21.
07:22And I said, listen, we don't drink.
07:25I'm a pastor.
07:25We're just going to dance because I used to be in the band.
07:28So the guy let us in.
07:31And that was the first night that I started to think, oh, my God, maybe he is the one.
07:38We were slow dancing because they were playing like Prince.
07:41I was about this far.
07:42Yeah.
07:43I didn't.
07:43Like in Christian school, they'd say, leave room for the Holy Ghost, right?
07:46Yeah.
07:47Don't get too close.
07:49And he was really far from me.
07:51And I said, you can relax a little, Terry, you know?
07:54So he got a little closer.
07:55And I think you kind of put your head on my shoulder and then picked it up.
07:58And when he got closer to me, I saw this vision in my head of myself taking him around the
08:06room
08:06by the hand and saying to people, oh, this is Terry, my husband.
08:10This is Terry, my husband.
08:11And I shook my head like, whoa, that's no, that's too much, you know?
08:17After the event, I took her back to her place.
08:22And I remember just looking at her and I knew and I said, I don't know what the future holds.
08:29I don't know.
08:31But I want you to know I'm willing.
08:34I'm willing.
08:35When I would go to sleep, I'd dream about him.
08:38When I would be going through my day, no matter what I was doing, I would have these thoughts.
08:43I would picture us with kids.
08:46And I'd go, I like Terry, but do I like him like that?
08:49You know, do I like him like a husband?
08:53And finally, for me, it was just about asking myself if I'm crazy.
08:57I called him up.
08:59I said, we should talk because I want to know how you feel about me.
09:05You know, because I didn't want to continue having these thoughts about him.
09:11And he saw me as a friend.
09:13But I was feeling the same way.
09:14Yeah.
09:15The whole time, visions and dreams about her.
09:17It was the future.
09:19And I didn't see it without her.
09:22Like, everything that I was supposed to be, she was in.
09:26I didn't know how to say it.
09:28Once she came in, it was like she was always there.
09:31And he came over and we sat there.
09:33He said, I just want to know, how do you feel about me?
09:37He said, well, I see you always being a part of my life.
09:42And I said, but in what way?
09:44I mean, what do you mean by that?
09:48And then you said.
09:49Yeah.
09:50I said, I believe you're supposed to be my wife.
09:53We were engaged for a year.
09:55Not engaged for a year.
09:56And then July 29th, 1989, the day before my 21st birthday, we were married.
10:10Our first two years of marriage, we had another baby.
10:13Yeah.
10:14We were traveling around NFL together with the two little girls.
10:17And then we moved to California, had another girl.
10:20NFL years were hard.
10:21Hard.
10:22Because he'd play a year, get cut.
10:24Go somewhere else and play a year, get cut.
10:27We went to 17 in seven years.
10:29And then in the middle of all that, we would sometimes move back to Michigan with his family.
10:35Yeah.
10:35And we'd argue there because I'm like, why are we living with your parents?
10:38We have money.
10:39Let's get an apartment and go to work until preseason.
10:43But I was scared.
10:44And so he'd kind of dump us on the parents, on the family.
10:48Which I, I mean, I understood.
10:50But at the same time, I also was so independent that I thought, this is not, why are we doing
10:56that, you know?
10:57And so there were arguments and things, but those years were challenging.
11:03Yeah.
11:03They really were challenging.
11:04And Terry was so enthusiastic.
11:08He was so top of the mountain with his expectation that when it wouldn't happen like that, he'd be
11:15through the floor.
11:15Yep.
11:16And I was always trying to be even keeled.
11:19So he made the practice squad.
11:21Then he made the active roster because in one week, somebody went down and he was on that
11:25active roster.
11:26He was so happy.
11:27Yeah.
11:28But, but, but I want to say it, the thing was I was all or nothing.
11:33Yeah.
11:34I think it's the one reason why we were together.
11:36It was all or nothing.
11:38I've always been that, I was always that person.
11:42Uh, and I, I wasn't mature enough to understand that it didn't have to be all or nothing.
11:49And I remember just feeling lost, um, and not knowing how to deal, not being angry.
11:57I was resentful of her.
12:00Sometimes I resent having family so early and, and then it was just moments of astounding immaturity.
12:07And I have to just say this, I cringe, cringe thinking about the way I acted at times.
12:16I was like a petulant child, but the good greatest thing is she would always forgive me.
12:23I had a, I had a lot of compassion for Terry because I knew what he came from and what
12:29I come from.
12:30So there was a lot of kind of understanding that I would give.
12:34Many people would say I put up with too much, but I feel in a way that's why we were
12:40drawn to each other.
12:41Yeah.
12:42Because we're drawn by where, where we lack strength.
12:47Uh, we're attached to people that are strong where we are not and vice versa.
12:56She never, ever left me.
12:59Even when we had in 20, our year 20, we had a huge breakup.
13:05And when I say breakup, it was over.
13:07Meaning she said, and it was because of the stuff that I had done that I had not acknowledged and
13:14not been forthwith.
13:16And she said, you know what, Terry, I can't, I, I given you every shot.
13:22That's it.
13:24And it was the worst and best day of my entire life.
13:30Because I totally saw myself for the first time as I really was.
13:37And I knew, and I also knew what it is I really wanted.
13:42Because that was the day I was, it was forced to choose Hollywood, stardom, all this stuff.
13:50Or did I want her?
13:52It was that simple.
13:54And I had to revamp my entire life from the beginning.
13:57And I had never been to therapy, had never been to counseling.
14:01I mean, we had been to counseling together, but I would lie to the counseling.
14:04It was just like, uh, but never really introspective, like thinking what makes me tick.
14:13And when I say it's the best day ever, I became a new person.
14:17And I'm thankful because, for there was a time where we had to separate.
14:26But when she saw the work that I decided to do, she made the choice to come back.
14:32And actually reinvigorated our relationship, which to me made it stronger than ever.
14:39Go ahead.
14:40Well, and for me, the, um, the D-Day, we call it.
14:45Yeah.
14:45I was, as far as I was concerned, ending the marriage.
14:50And I was very sad.
14:51And then when I confronted him, everything in me said, kick him out.
14:56Like, just kick him out.
14:57And I said, we're done.
14:59And I, I felt peace.
15:02I felt strong.
15:04I felt like I won't be alone.
15:07And then, of course, I grieved.
15:08And then that little boy said to me, let's see what he does.
15:17Let's see how he responds.
15:19And I argued with God.
15:21This was one of the first few times I, like, hey, you know what?
15:25He said, Rebecca, if he's not a better man in a year or two, let him deal with this problem,
15:32he asked.
15:32If he's not a better man in a year or two, you can leave.
15:36And there were a lot of things we went through during that time.
15:39But throughout it, I kept feeling this, like, invisible stream.
15:46And it was like God saying, hold on, hold on.
15:49He's a good person who did a bad thing.
15:53And you did bad things.
15:55Everybody does bad things.
15:57Everybody.
15:58Everybody.
16:00And I went to the, and that was the thing that shocked me, that he did go to therapy.
16:05And so I saw, I saw the heart of a man who really wanted to prove to us that he
16:18could be trusted, that he would be better.
16:21And I saw it shifting in his behavior.
16:26I saw him lose some of the anger, lose the impatience.
16:32And so those kinds of things made me willing to say, okay, let's talk.
16:44Let's get together.
16:45Let's see.
16:45And that was 16 years ago.
16:53This is about our love story.
16:56Mm-hmm.
16:58But.
17:11Love hurts.
17:15It hurts.
17:18And it's not, you know, everyone wants wonderful romance and beauty and, but, love I received from her truly has
17:37made me a better man.
17:39I can say that, and I love that, and I don't, I wouldn't trade any of these experiences for anything.
17:50We all, it was, I used them, it's like, you can use every obstacle to either climb up on or
18:00bury yourself under.
18:02And, and I'm, I'm so thankful because it's not enough to say you're sorry.
18:08You have to make amends.
18:10You have to make amends.
18:12And I set myself on a mission to make amends to her, to my family, to anyone that I had
18:22wronged.
18:23And, and when I say we're beyond and better, truly, truly, like, I don't know, I don't know who we
18:33would be with, even without that experience.
18:35I'm not saying anyone has to go through this stuff, but it was like, if you do, use it, use
18:41it.
18:41Empathy is a very powerful part of retaining a good relationship.
18:48It's, um, it's humbling.
18:52It's humbling.
18:53And it's, it's worth going through that to understand one another.
18:59Now, there are people who choose not to forgive, and there are people who choose not to try.
19:06Like he, like Terry made efforts, you know.
19:09There are people who go, oh, well, you know, to hell with it.
19:14And they blow their family.
19:16And I love and appreciate that, that he saw me and those kids as something worth fighting for.
19:29That means everything.
19:31It means everything.
19:36As much as I love Terry, we are a little like chips in the night sometimes.
19:40So we just make time to be together.
19:42We go on dates still.
19:44We, um, try to, you know, be in touch when he's traveling.
19:50I'm also busier now doing my store, my fashion line.
19:53So it's a little different.
19:55It's a little bit different.
19:57And I am on him a little bit to connect with me more.
20:00Because now I don't have, I don't have the kids.
20:04I don't have all of that.
20:06You know, five kids is a lot.
20:07So there is a little, little space there that's empty.
20:12And I'm like, okay, now there's no kids.
20:16Call me more often or something.
20:18You know, text me during the day more often.
20:20Well, the thing is, this is what I love.
20:23She's honest and we're honest enough to tell each other what we need.
20:27Like before, years ago, you just not say anything and hope everyone got it by osmosis.
20:35And, you know, you're supposed to already know we're done with it.
20:40It's like, hey, she'll sit me down.
20:41Listen, this is what I need.
20:42Oh, yeah.
20:44Okay.
20:45Now, at the same time, you know, I have, even since we got together, it's a whole nother level of
20:56success.
20:57I can't believe where we are.
20:59I truly can't believe.
21:00Like, literally, worldwide, every day, a new opportunity, a new thing, a new, we are living the lives that people
21:14dream of.
21:15It's really, it's a little overwhelming sometimes that I have to kind of stop and, okay, babe, where are we
21:26now?
21:26You know what I mean?
21:27I mean, so I know she's like, hey, stay connected.
21:29I'm like, but this world is just flying, you know, and sometimes I feel like we're going 500 miles an
21:37hour.
21:37Yeah.
21:38And there are times I have to stop, pull the reins on the demands.
21:43Yeah.
21:44And reconnect.
21:45And this is, the kids are gone.
21:47That's the joy of being this age, is that we get to enjoy just us, you know.
21:53And we have a lot of fun, but I'll just go with them on the work trip.
21:57And I get to have all this fun.
21:59And then the store, somehow, bless Aisha and Malay, lives without me, you know.
22:05And that's like, we're kids again, you know, and we're, but we're old kids because we're in bed.
22:11I do want to say this, the thing I love the most is crazy.
22:16I'm in another country, she's here, and we're on the phone for four hours, like we were dating.
22:24A four-hour conversation.
22:26I remember I was sitting in Istanbul.
22:28Yeah, it was.
22:29I was like, you know, we've been talking for four hours.
22:31Well, but we're used to relating that way.
22:33But the phone, we're sitting here like, and it's just talking, and it's the, I'm like, I'm really glad we
22:39had this conversation.
22:41Like, this is, anyway, I'm way on another side of the world, but it also feels like we were dating
22:46in Kalamazoo.
22:49Right.
22:50Where we would never get off the phone, okay, you hang up.
22:53No, you hang up, you hang up.
22:54We do this.
22:55Yeah.
22:55Even now.
22:56And it kind of, like, are you ready?
22:58You're going to hang up first.
22:59Okay, all right.
23:00I'm going to bed.
23:01Good night.
23:02Good night.
23:03Who's going to be the last to say, and I'm going to go, whoa, that's special.
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