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GWed S02E01 Oh Mighty Gay One Episode 1 Engsub
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00:16Mining is love. Desperate to find you.
00:19Mining is love without a home.
00:23Mining is love. Showing you our unbreakable bond.
00:28Mining is love. Clinging to the hope one day we will see each other again.
00:36I'm glad to you, young man. It's all right. It's all right.
00:40I've decided on an open casket so that we can all celebrate his life together one last time.
00:48Why, Nibba? You were taken too soon, lad. Rest easy, little fella.
00:58When I needed a hand, I found your port.
01:27Oh my god. Is she pregnant? With him? Is it the posh lads?
01:31I didn't know we had a dinner. It is dirty bastard. No way.
01:40Oh god.
01:41Well done for not being preggers out, you two. We've been together like four weeks, that's a record for round
01:46here, that.
01:46Amy, stop embarrassing yourself. This is painful to watch.
01:50What are you on about, you gimp? You're getting with this posh mupper just to get close to me.
01:55Look, I know it's a difficult time with the anniversary of our kiss approaching, but you've just got on.
01:59You're obsessed with this kiss, Rhys. I'm the best kiss you've ever had, aren't I? Oh, it's okay to admit
02:04it.
02:04Nah, she had a bad kiss, though. The fact that you get off with my kiss, though.
02:07I was thinking I'm old salad, though. He's not even signed a new contract, though.
02:11I've got a kid at 16 now, boys, with a slight error of uncertainty if it's mine or not.
02:17Told you I'm turning into a fully-fledged Scouser.
02:19Lad, you will never be a Scouser. You don't want a pair of wellies.
02:24My nan got me them for Christmas. Your what? Your nan.
02:26Lads, tomorrow night, don't forget, my dad's picking us up at 6.40 and in karaoke.
02:31Oh, man, it's over, Mum.
02:33You know, 16 years of being absent could all be forgotten if he nails a rendition of Hey Jude's.
02:37Shut up.
02:39He's trying.
02:40Sorry, I just find it insensitive you talking about your alive dad when you know mine's dead.
02:44Oh, selfish.
02:45He's right, mate. You know, I feel like you've been very insensitive lately.
02:49You're even thinking about your poor Mari, who's probably going through a whirlwind of emotions right now.
02:52She is.
02:53Cos I am.
02:54What?
02:54You know, I reckon this year is the year I finally bury me face in her arse.
02:59Oh.
02:59Well, listen, if I had the choice of eating chicken dippers out of her arse,
03:03and while I'm in there, I'd get hit by a bus like Divock did.
03:06I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
03:08I'd take it.
03:09What a last meal.
03:11What a way to go.
03:12What do you see, lad?
03:13What?
03:14You're a little minion.
03:15What do you mean?
03:17So, boys, how's the buddy-up scheme going?
03:20I'm a changed man, sir.
03:22I'm going to give you a stroke of genius from you to pair me with this inspirational guiding light.
03:26Can I ask though, sir?
03:28You didn't put us together because we're both gated, Jack.
03:31Are you?
03:32I just thought you both had views that were perhaps more on the liberal side.
03:36So, when you've heard that Nigerian lads who look about 40, but the Senegalese lads who look about 50,
03:41that was random, was it?
03:43Oh, completely random.
03:44They are thriving.
03:46Can't argue with results.
03:50What about these, Tim?
03:52I think you'll find her hair colour is orchid purple and hers is heliotrope purple.
03:57And they're both hardcore vegans.
03:59Well, it's not for me to cast aspersions on the dietary requirements of other people.
04:03Why are them two together?
04:06Actually, they're both short.
04:08Hard to tell when you're sitting.
04:10Sir, I don't care if you put us together because we're both gay.
04:14I've learned so much from them already.
04:16I'm lucky that in a world where gay men still face the threat of persecution,
04:22I have a mentor like Ted Price,
04:25who makes me feel safe, secure and free to be who I am.
04:30That's lovely lads.
04:32And just to clarify 100%,
04:35I had no idea you were both gay.
04:38Close the door in the way else.
04:40I despise your face with a passion, lads.
04:43Don't talk to me for the next five weeks until this bloody scheme is over.
04:46Are you sure you'll make five more weeks grander?
04:48I'm a year older than you, so watch your mouth, Mr. Wampu.
04:51Why? What are you going to do?
04:53Bore me to death with tales of how life was bad for us in the 50s
04:56because we got thrown in jail for woman.
04:58It's hard to take you seriously considering your voice as an even baruch, yeah.
05:06Do you like Josie? Is this in?
05:08He's just nipped down the shop for me.
05:10Oh, okay.
05:12Do you not want to come inside and wait for him?
05:14Er, yeah. Yeah, all right.
05:21Is that a new car?
05:23Er, yeah, it is.
05:25Suit you?
05:26Yeah.
05:27Thanks.
05:28Do you want some tea? I'm doing Rhys something.
05:30Yeah, I can wait a chance.
05:32I was thinking, er, wedges and...
05:39Chicken dippers?
05:41Yeah.
05:42Yeah.
05:43How do you like your dippers, Con?
05:45I don't mind.
05:46Do you want them in the oven, on the grill?
05:48Whatever.
05:50If they're not on my arse then?
05:54He tells me everything you play.
05:58Oh, look, it's all right. Don't worry about it.
06:00I know what lads are like.
06:01You should pants on your hand.
06:02Come to think of it, I've had a bit of a rough day, so...
06:07I'd be up for a bit of fun.
06:10If you are.
06:11If loving you is the wrong baby
06:14I don't wanna be right
06:19What do you mean you can't play It's Starting in a minute?
06:21Don't worry.
06:22I put a shout-out on Discord to get you a new partner.
06:24Oh, is there some of me now?
06:26Is there Hellfire?
06:27At least better than you, to be honest.
06:29No, some random calls.
06:31Your nan's butt plug.
06:32Oh, he's joining me in the chat now.
06:33OK, bye.
06:35Is this your nan's butt plug?
06:38Hello?
06:38I can be your hero, baby
06:43What an absolute bell-end, baby
06:47Growl?
06:48Round one
06:52Aw, lads!
06:54What have I told you about leaving your webs on top of mine?
06:56It marks them!
07:10Oh...
07:11Oh, just... just tell you, please.
07:13What the fuck?
07:17Peter?
07:20No.
07:23It can't be.
07:25No.
07:27No.
07:28Are you sure you'll be able to get her back home?
07:31No.
07:34Mum!
07:37Cut!
07:43That's what you get for grassing them up!
07:45That was a warning.
07:46Next time, I'm in there for real.
07:50Winner!
07:51Get in!
07:53Hey, I'm sorry I had to go with you about your name.
07:56It's a bit of a sore subject, you see, cos me nan actually showed me a butt plug collection once
08:00when I went down.
08:02Traumatising.
08:03Especially as each one came with a practical demonstration.
08:05Hang on.
08:07Do we have to sing now?
08:09Are we related?
08:15Oh, I thought the interview would be in person, but Zoom's fine.
08:18I'm really looking forward to it.
08:20See you then.
08:22No way, what are you looking forward to, Gail?
08:24You got a fella don't they go?
08:26Eh, yeah.
08:27Ooh.
08:27Yeah, I've got a little date to be on the Isle Tinder and that.
08:33Mustard boy!
08:34Stop adding boy to the end of everything, cos you think it makes it an insult.
08:37You can do it to anything and it sounds insulting.
08:39Oh, building an orphanage to save the children, boy.
08:42See?
08:43All right, lad.
08:44I was on the list.
08:48Gig theory about boy, boy!
08:53So I'm top to you.
08:54Scran Frank today.
08:55Scranie McPhee.
08:57Scran, you puss the cock blue.
08:58Scrapper a lid.
08:59Oh, lad.
09:00Come on, dude.
09:02Bang, bear boy!
09:05It's all about breadcrumming now, Gail.
09:08Keeping lads interested by feeding them little breadcrumbs now and again.
09:11Like, I like on Insta, a random flirty text, a blowjob.
09:15Last one was a joke.
09:17He's Duffy Duffy.
09:19He loves a bat and beat.
09:22He gets it down in three.
09:25He's Duffy Duffy.
09:28Put a more in the bin than you're out in your mouth again.
09:31Lad, if there's anything you want to talk about, you can.
09:35Suppose there is one thing.
09:37How do I get this knob with a hero complex off me back just because I didn't finish me lunch?
09:42He needs to learn all the lingo too.
09:44Like GGG.
09:45Good, given, and gain.
09:47Which means he's sex-positive.
09:48Which means he wants to respectfully and wokefully shag your senseless.
09:52Yep.
09:53That was really educational.
09:54Thanks for that, girls.
09:56You're welcome.
10:02Help me, almighty gay one.
10:05I've lost my mummy and my daddy.
10:07I'm a tragic little orphan that needs saving.
10:10First case of a justified orphan.
10:13Oh.
10:13Oh, here we go.
10:14What is this dark, scary place?
10:17What?
10:17Am I in her?
10:18What are you doing?
10:18Foster home?
10:20Oh, no.
10:21Please save me, Teddy Price.
10:23I'll save you.
10:25And then I'll ring your neck, you little maggie.
10:27Now then, trouble.
10:28What are you talking about?
10:30Oh, no.
10:30Just having a little chat with the girls about the crusty tissues I found under your bed yesterday.
10:35Mum, you'd best be joking.
10:37Of course I'm joking.
10:39But if you don't put them in the bin like I told you, I'm going to tell the whole school.
10:41Where are you going?
10:42One mere, just after having me meeting with the Tate Liverpool.
10:45We're going to put together an exhibition of your crusty tissues.
10:48Put your face next to it.
10:50Intimate moment by Rhys Duffy.
10:54Ta-ra.
10:55Hey, Mum.
10:56What?
10:56Yeah, there's one I made earlier.
10:58I have a very important announcement.
11:00For anyone out there who's suffering.
11:02For anyone out there who needs hope in their darkest hour.
11:07There's a very special man that will save you.
11:09Is it Jesus?
11:10Ted Price.
11:11The hero we didn't know we needed.
11:14Because we literally don't need him.
11:17The man that's going to make all our lives joyful.
11:22So please, let's hear it.
11:24For the one and only.
11:25Our saviour.
11:26Ted Price.
11:27When I say Ted, you say Price.
11:30Ted.
11:30Price.
11:31Ted.
11:31Price.
11:33Price.
11:33Price.
11:34Price.
11:34Price.
11:34Price.
11:35Price.
11:35Price.
11:36Price.
11:37Price.
11:37Price.
11:38Price.
11:38Price.
11:42Your defence is terrifying.
11:45Alan's on fire.
11:46Your defence is terrifying.
11:48Alan's on fire.
11:50Your defence is terrifying.
11:51But what?
11:52They will not!
11:54We should join a sick society.
11:56We will piss him with laden on our side.
11:58Jinxing on me, lads. Let's celebrate this victory, yeah?
12:01Whoo!
12:02Oh, Dad is sick.
12:04Oh, aye.
12:05If I had the choice of five minutes alone with my dead Dad or your Dad,
12:09I'd choose your Dad.
12:10Yeah, that's one of the sweetest leftovers I've ever seen.
12:13Galton!
12:14You know why I was so good out there today, lads?
12:17Because I don't feel the weight in the bib.
12:19I have to play without fear.
12:21Because there goes the fear.
12:23Let it go.
12:25You turn around and life's passed your way.
12:29Don't waste chances being afraid, yeah?
12:32As l'm telling you, boys,
12:34everything you've ever wanted is on the other side of fear.
12:39Ooh!
12:40I'm scared of the karaoke.
12:42But you know what? I'm gonna do it.
12:44Come on, Dad!
12:46Come on, Dad!
12:47Come on, Dad!
12:48Come on!
12:55There's been a mistake.
12:56This isn't a song I've picked.
12:57You got this.
12:58Come on, Dad!
13:00Come on, Dad!
13:01Don't ask me.
13:02Ugh.
13:03Oh, God.
13:04Oh, God.
13:04What you know is true.
13:05He's crumbled.
13:06Give me my blood!
13:07Come on, Dad!
13:08Don't have to tell you, I love your precious heart.
13:16I, I was standing there.
13:22You were there.
13:24Come on, lads.
13:25Oh, that's a beautiful place.
13:26Two worlds collided, and they could never tear us apart.
13:35Come on, go on!
13:36It's loud.
13:42Take it away, son.
13:45We could live for a thousand years.
13:52If I hurt you, I'd make wine from your tears.
13:59Come on!
14:00I've told you that we could fly.
14:06Hello?
14:06How's my favourite underpaid glass collector?
14:08Faith, if you're going to ask her back to work tonight, I can't.
14:11I'm back in school.
14:11I'm not asking you to work, but I do have a special request.
14:15You said that'd be a one-time thing, and that I'd never have to do it again.
14:17Oh, please.
14:18I wouldn't be asking you to do that again.
14:19Have I better head for my blow-up doll?
14:21Our usual compay's got another gig, so we need someone for the Drag Night Thursday.
14:25What do you reckon?
14:26You want me to do it?
14:27No, knobhead.
14:28Do you know anyone?
14:29I'm messing.
14:30Of course I'm asking you.
14:32Listen, I think you've got something.
14:33When you speak, people listen.
14:35You grab their attention.
14:36It's time to stop living in the shadows and step into the lights of my stage.
14:39Now, don't you dare be funnier than me.
14:41Vivi?
14:42Are you sure?
14:43Of course I'm sure.
14:44Oh, come on, lad.
14:45What's the worst that can happen?
14:46You bomb so hard, you become a shell of a man so traumatised you never leave the house.
14:50Because I tell you what, if you do bomb, I'm never speaking to you again.
14:55You could never, ever, tear us apart.
15:00Come on, lad.
15:01Woo!
15:04It's been his favourite bit now, son.
15:07What is it?
15:08Saxophone.
15:13This is all because of who, you know?
15:15Makes fun.
15:16I'm going to make up for some lost time.
15:18Shame.
15:19He's just told me he's doing one of his own songs next, but I hate my son.
15:22That's it.
15:23Bye.
15:23Everybody, come on.
15:25I, I was standing.
15:30Come on, everybody.
15:32You and him, two worlds colliding.
15:37And they will never tear us apart.
15:44You and me now, kid.
15:52He's fucking scared.
15:55Killing me with me.
16:02Shit.
16:03Hello?
16:04Hello?
16:06Hi, Jodie.
16:07Hi.
16:08It's Robert here from Central Liverpool Housing Association.
16:11I believe you came to us via the Job Centre.
16:14Yeah.
16:14I was looking for some part-time ways to restart my career.
16:19I've got a law degree.
16:21I got it in 2007.
16:23I got pregnant afterwards, so I haven't really had a chance to do anything with it.
16:27We were all young and foolish once, my love.
16:31Just give us the ciggies, will you?
16:33Yeah, I gave you 20 quid.
16:35Lad, forget the ciggies.
16:37You should be putting food in your mouth, you scrawny little rat.
16:41This morning, honestly, I heard the shit that was bigger than you.
16:44Hey, you know in Africa, innit?
16:46They have avert on the telly asking her to send food to you.
16:52Pass the ciggies before you're supposed to get booted to Africa.
16:58Right.
16:59Lads, come on.
17:01You groom-bumming this little lad then, Ted Lodge, yeah?
17:03Ciaran, you can't even spell the word groom.
17:05Be gone.
17:06Come on.
17:08I told you to leave it to me, lad.
17:10How do you spell groom?
17:11What are you doing?
17:13I didn't say I was getting them for you, did I?
17:18I know that I'm your homie.
17:21I ain't just gonna let that go.
17:24I agree.
17:25With your underprivileged background and your experience
17:28of the many issues our clients suffer from,
17:30I really think our clients are gonna connect with you.
17:34Yeah.
17:35I mean, I've had them all.
17:37Substance abuse issues, homelessness, unemployment, domestic violence,
17:42and the big crowd-pleaser, mental health crises.
17:45You know, I feel for women in your situation.
17:49It isn't easy balancing career with issues.
17:52Then you stupidly get pregnant, which only compounds your problems,
17:56and you end up deeply regretting having the child,
17:59as you've basically screwed up your whole career.
18:01Will you wind your neck in, you patronising gobshite?
18:04I don't regret anything about my life.
18:06In fact, I really like it, and having that boy was the best thing
18:09that could have ever happened to me.
18:11Oh, and while I'm at it, I live amongst these people
18:13with their so-called issues.
18:15And let me tell you something for nothing.
18:16With all their problems, not a one of them is as big
18:19of a delusional dickhead as you are.
18:22Hey, Mum.
18:23What are you doing?
18:24Oh, look, son, we've got big money problems.
18:27Someone's got to do some cam work, and it's not going to be you, is he?
18:30I see if I'd make more than you.
18:31I see.
18:32Mid-Japon, it's a big market.
18:36Fuck off.
18:39Who uses WhatsApp anyway, Grandad?
18:42I'm only using WhatsApp cos Bebo's down.
18:45Oh, my God, you picture you on your moped.
18:48Is that cos you hope girls will look at it and think,
18:50Oh, my God, will you take me for a ride?
18:54Have you finished?
18:55So, three wins together.
18:57Have a past the trial.
18:59Trial to be the most annoying bellend who happens to be great at payday.
19:03Yeah, with flying colours.
19:07Get it.
19:18Get a little shit.
19:21There, there's no chains.
20:01How are we, kid?
20:04You do realise we don't have to hang around toilets for sex anymore.
20:07We're accepted now.
20:08They're having lunch today.
20:09I'm allergic to fish. I had a Mackey's before.
20:12Don't you have?
20:12The big tasty burger.
20:14That seasonal meat. You don't have it, Nam.
20:16It's back, lad.
20:17Albie, I know what you're doing.
20:18Making apologies.
20:20Saying you feel sick. Smoking so you don't feel hungry.
20:23Smoking was cool in the 50s. I don't blame you.
20:25Lad, I've been where you are.
20:27In this cubicle? Is this where you're hid from the Nazis in 1943?
20:31Well, they wouldn't execute you for being gay.
20:33They'd execute you for being so annoying.
20:39I know about that prison in your head.
20:42I know how that prison's full of anxiety.
20:45Anxiety when you catch a look at yourself in the mirror.
20:49Anxiety when you'd allow yourself that one bite.
20:52The constant thought and obsessions about food, calories, weight, BMI.
20:57You should exercise more.
20:58You shouldn't have had that bite.
21:00The thought is so exhausting that you think you just want peace.
21:04You think that not waking up in the morning wouldn't be so bad.
21:10I'm coming out.
21:12For sake!
21:13I want the world to know.
21:15Did you listen to anything I've just said?
21:17Why did you stop boxing?
21:18How do you know about that?
21:20Me cousin goes to the same club as you.
21:22He says you're good, but a few months ago you stopped going.
21:25Why?
21:25I didn't fancy it anymore.
21:28Sure, mate, yeah.
21:29Here's what I think.
21:30You go around acting like you're the perfect gay who's got it all figured out,
21:34yet you don't think you're worthy enough to box with straight lads.
21:39Seems like the almighty gay one's a big hypocrite.
21:42Shut up, you little prick.
21:43I'm here trying to help you.
21:45If I ever want to learn about how to be a weak coward who's one big fraud,
21:49I'll come to you.
21:50But until then, fuck off and leave me alone.
22:01Hi, Jodie.
22:02Robbie.
22:03Robert here from Central Liverpool Housing Association.
22:07We'd like to offer you the job.
22:09You're messing.
22:10I called you a delusional dickhead.
22:13Upon reflection, I realised you had an empathy and open-minded attitude towards our clients,
22:19which I think will be a huge asset to our office.
22:24I'll take it.
22:26Great.
22:26Although, can we not mention it to the job centre?
22:28I still want to keep me benefits, like.
22:30I'm afraid that's illegal and I'm...
22:33You're joking, aren't you?
22:36Very good.
22:38Congratulations.
22:39Looking forward to working with you.
22:41Nice one, Robbie.
22:44You fucking dancer!
22:48Who are you on the phone to?
22:50Oh, it's here.
22:52Little People Porncams.com.
22:54Yeah.
22:56Five foot one maximum?
22:58No problem.
23:01Bigger than two inches?
23:04Definitely not.
23:06Welcome to Boss Little Queers These, you know.
23:09Don't worry, lads.
23:10If I can transform this face, there's hope for yous too.
23:13We've got a new comp hair for you this evening.
23:16It's his first night, so please be nice.
23:19And yes, I'm looking at you, lads.
23:21No bouncing bottles off his head.
23:24Oh, what's she doing, the old prick?
23:26Give it up for the gorgeous Ted Price!
23:32Good evening.
23:34Who's ready for a night of eleganza extravaganza?
23:41I love drag queens, mate.
23:43Why do drag queens always have money?
23:45Why?
23:45Because she knows how to tuck it away.
23:48Oh.
23:49This pubis is one that's dying on his arse.
23:51Shut up, Tedder.
23:52If I wanted to wear an arse, I'll speak at fart, mate.
23:59Hot fucking pickup!
24:00We clearly heard homophobic friends in the audience tonight.
24:04Stand up, con.
24:05Come on, give him a little clap.
24:07Now, this boy asks me hundreds of thousands of questions a day.
24:11Each one more homophobic than the last.
24:14What was the most recent one?
24:16Hey, lads, if you're gay, I'll come, you'll never come on to me.
24:18Normally, I'll respond with, oh, gay lads have a type,
24:21or we don't fancy every man a laugh,
24:23but in this case, it's because he's one right ugly fucker.
24:28Good friend, Reese is in the audience.
24:31This boy has just been reunited with his dad face to face after 16 years.
24:37Oh, that's not a strange.
24:38He just finally found a ladder that was big enough.
24:40Oh, oh, oh.
24:44Thank you so much, everyone.
24:46Thank you for having me.
24:47You've been a gorgeous audience.
24:49Happy Tedder, you've been walking.
24:51Thanks, lads.
24:52I love you so much, babe.
24:54I love you so much for having me.
24:55Everybody, let's have a hug.
24:57Thank you so much for being so kind.
25:01I'm in the corner, watching you kiss her.
25:05Whoa.
25:08Ooh.
25:10I keep that shit on my own.
25:14Ho, Edna!
25:16Ho, Edna!
25:17Ho, Edna!
25:19Ho, Edna!
25:20Ho, Edna!
25:20Ho, Edna!
25:23Ho, Edna!
25:23Ho, Edna!
25:23Ho, Edna!
25:25Ho, Edna!
25:30Ho, Edna!
25:37Come on, you're going to be seeing a lot more of this.
25:39Give it up for the gorgeous, Ted Price!
25:58Clap!
26:03Clap!
26:03Clap!
26:05Clap!
26:06Clap!
26:08Clap!
26:10Clap!
26:11Ted Price is a gay man!
26:26Ali.
26:29I'm so sorry I let you down.
26:34Is this heaven?
26:36Lad, you're in a hospital?
26:38Oh, mighty gay one, Ted Price, a gay heaven's doors.
26:42Please let me in.
26:45What did the doctor say?
26:46I'll be okay.
26:49So that stuff I bought on the dark web wasn't any good.
26:52I wonder what the refund policy is.
26:56I've got a confession.
26:58This is gonna sound really crazy and out the blue, but...
27:01I think I've got anorexia.
27:03I am blowing away, lad.
27:05Really?
27:09I was 11 when it clicked I was gay.
27:12And my first thought was...
27:14You shit.
27:16Cos that's how society's made us feel.
27:19Then you put this negativity on yourself and...
27:21It messes up your self-esteem.
27:25Anorexia makes you believe that if you keep doing what it wants, you'll be okay.
27:31But it's a liar.
27:34A very good liar, to be fair.
27:36Facing your inner demons is scary, but...
27:39Everything you want...
27:41It's on the other side of that fear.
27:45I got better.
27:46You will too.
27:48Another confession.
27:50I really appreciate you looking out for me.
27:54It's been my pleasure.
27:56Yeah.
28:00Big hairy daddy hands, this.
28:02Excuse me.
28:03These daddy hands are here to look after you.
28:05Mum, let me fix your pillow.
28:08What are you doing?
28:10Nurse, help!
28:11This old fella's saying he's my daddy.
28:13Making me do things I don't want to do.
28:15He's very, very sick.
28:16Get out!
28:46Leave it in the morning with everything on in a little black case.
28:53Alone on a platform, the wind and the rain on his head.
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