- 8 hours ago
An unvarnished portrayal of the changing dynamics of love among a bunch of smart and fun-loving 60-somethings who are active on the dating scene.
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:20Nobody knows me
00:00:23And nobody cares for me
00:00:28I'm just a dust blown in the wind
00:00:35How many ocean across
00:00:39But a little bit of your love
00:00:42Nevertheless
00:00:44I do the best I can
00:00:49I never found someone
00:00:53Who loves me as I am
00:00:56Maybe I'm not ready for love
00:01:03I'm waiting for the day
00:01:06I'll meet you my baby
00:01:09I do the best I can
00:01:31I'm waiting for the day
00:01:34I'll meet you my baby
00:01:39Nevertheless
00:01:40I do the best I can
00:01:44I'm willing to make concessions
00:01:49If you give me what I need
00:01:51But for all the money
00:01:55In the world
00:01:59Whether you're God or the devil
00:02:02I'll never sell my soul
00:02:05I'll do the best I can
00:02:08I'll do the best I can
00:02:12Yes, I do the best I can
00:02:15But I want to stay
00:02:19Who I am
00:02:28Stella
00:02:30Stella, bring on the beer
00:02:34Steve
00:02:37Okay
00:02:39What?
00:02:40You look fabulous
00:02:42What's going on between you and my cook, honey?
00:02:45I'm getting concerned
00:02:47Is there some rivalry going on?
00:02:50Is there a vibration I need to know about?
00:02:53Let's take a night off and discussing your show
00:02:55I love you, honey
00:02:57I love you
00:02:59But
00:03:00I'm joking
00:03:01Well, I love you too
00:03:05Exactly
00:03:05And I have
00:03:06How come you're being so amorous?
00:03:07The depth of my feelings for you
00:03:10Is really equal to the depth of my feelings for my own mother
00:03:15And I want you to know that
00:03:17Steve, that's not the wrong
00:03:18No, no, no, no, no, no, no
00:03:20That's not what boys say to girls
00:03:22I think that I'm paying you
00:03:25A incredibly
00:03:26No
00:03:27A heartfelt compliment
00:03:28I know, I think you mean it
00:03:30Yes, I do mean it
00:03:31I'm teasing you
00:03:31I'm teasing you
00:03:32And your illusory jealousies and rivalries
00:03:37Really have no pertinence to what is going on here
00:03:41It's absolutely, strictly business
00:03:45No, business
00:03:47And that's all it is and all it's ever been
00:03:50Okay
00:03:51There's never been a dalliance
00:03:53There's never been a misstep
00:03:55There's never been an insinuation of any kind or sort
00:03:59Well, you did tell me there was a dalliance once
00:04:01Remember the red-headed French girl?
00:04:05Oh
00:04:06You can't tell a writer
00:04:07I was aggressed
00:04:09Oh, I see
00:04:10I was a victim of workplace harassment
00:04:14I see
00:04:15And you didn't file charges
00:04:20I once wrote a book
00:04:22And I love the title
00:04:23It's called The Bed You Lie In
00:04:24The Bed You Lie In
00:04:26Sounds like a play on words
00:04:28It was
00:04:29And the thing is
00:04:30I never wrote a book that was good enough for the title
00:04:32But it seems like human beings as a class
00:04:36May have an issue
00:04:38Not just with reality
00:04:41If there is reality
00:04:42But how to communicate about it
00:04:44They lie and say
00:04:46What kind of a day are you having?
00:04:48I feel great
00:04:48But in the inside
00:04:50Well, that's a different thing
00:04:51Well, but it's an example of what I mean
00:04:54We're in different contexts
00:04:56Well, it's not lying
00:04:56That's social discourse
00:04:57People think it's impolite to say
00:04:59How was your day?
00:05:01Well, it's terrible
00:05:02I discovered I owed $70,000 in taxes
00:05:06People don't want to reveal that much
00:05:07Okay, so a couple's been going out for three months
00:05:10And the girl says, do you love me?
00:05:13And he says, yeah, I love you
00:05:14Is that social discourse too?
00:05:17No, that's not social
00:05:18I mean, I think people in love are always lying
00:05:21I'm working on this book that I had the idea
00:05:24When we were in Gloucester
00:05:25Tell me more
00:05:27Okay, so the first part
00:05:30Is a woman who's in love with a man
00:05:32Who's not in love with her
00:05:33Put some color on it
00:05:36Well, the first one is
00:05:40She has to understand
00:05:41That he doesn't really love her
00:05:43She keeps going for it
00:05:45Finally she gets over it
00:05:46So in the end, he's not there for her
00:05:48So she has to face it
00:05:49Okay
00:05:50And then the second guy
00:05:52She refuses to marry him
00:05:53And when she refuses
00:05:54Even though she equivocates
00:05:56They start to disintegrate
00:05:58Because she just can't bring herself to do it
00:06:00And then the third one
00:06:01I don't know what I'm doing with the third one yet
00:06:03Mm-hmm
00:06:04Yeah, it's interesting
00:06:06It sounds like it's quite a window into her interior life
00:06:11Yeah, yeah
00:06:12Because nobody gets it right, sort of
00:06:14So it's kind of a study of that
00:06:16And what do we think we want
00:06:18And what we don't want
00:06:19And that kind of thing
00:06:21So that's what I'm doing
00:06:25It may not work, who knows
00:06:30George, I want you to sell a book for me
00:06:32It doesn't really have a formal name
00:06:34I'm calling it a triptych
00:06:35A triptych?
00:06:37It's three stories on love
00:06:38All right
00:06:38And there's not a feeling of
00:06:42Loss of freedom for her?
00:06:44Because I know your book's
00:06:46Freedom is a big part
00:06:47The woman keeping her freedom is part of it
00:06:49I know, that's true
00:06:49But in this one
00:06:51She can only love a man who gives her freedom
00:06:53Okay, but does she pay a price for this?
00:06:56Because readers like to see
00:06:57A price being paid
00:06:58Like to see some suffering
00:07:00Oh, there's plenty of suffering
00:07:01Don't worry
00:07:02Okay, the protagonist always seems to be
00:07:03Looking for someone
00:07:05Some thing she can't find in the person
00:07:08Really?
00:07:08Like she's trying to
00:07:09I don't know
00:07:10Tame a wild horse and can't do it
00:07:13Yeah
00:07:14Well
00:07:14So is there some element of that
00:07:15In this book too?
00:07:17No, no, there's no taming of any horses
00:07:18Okay
00:07:19Well, I'm looking forward to seeing it
00:07:20I love your stuff
00:07:21I would say it'll come to you
00:07:24In about four months
00:07:26We're looking forward to it
00:07:36Mira feels love for these avenues and streets
00:07:39She's traveled on for so many years
00:07:42And in so many different circumstances
00:07:45Loving crazy, witty men who undid her
00:07:47Loving, loving men who made her feel regal
00:07:50Being intimate with her husband
00:07:52The pals they were
00:07:55All the assignments she was delivering
00:07:57Are pressured by
00:07:58The city of engagement
00:08:00The city of conversations
00:08:02The city of invention
00:08:26Hello
00:08:27Hi, how are you doing?
00:08:32Hi
00:08:33She's dating a guy 17 years younger than she is
00:08:37And he's smitten
00:08:38Like me
00:08:40Like me with her, you mean?
00:08:42Like you are with her?
00:08:43I'm also smitten with her, yeah
00:08:44Yeah
00:08:44Like I am, like I am, yeah
00:08:46Okay, like I am
00:08:47Yeah
00:08:49Grabbing hold of the great lion's mane
00:08:51And it's true
00:08:52You go on a ride
00:08:54And you can be eaten by the lion
00:08:56As you love somebody
00:08:59Everybody wants to skip that part
00:09:00But you can't skip that part
00:09:02And so
00:09:05So you're writing about that
00:09:07And I love that you're doing that
00:09:09I think I've told you
00:09:10You know, when you're making a decision
00:09:12Even if
00:09:13A decision in life
00:09:16If you think what's the most loving thing to do
00:09:18You make the right decision
00:09:19But if you think even in writing
00:09:21What's the most
00:09:24Open thing to do
00:09:25It's the right thing to do
00:09:26It's the same thing
00:09:27Because what do I always say to you
00:09:28The same thing
00:09:29Open, open, open, open
00:09:31Even though I have a hard time doing it myself
00:10:02Sondra, we're ready
00:10:03Thank you
00:10:06Well, that looks good
00:10:07Yeah, we have lobster pasta
00:10:09Next one
00:10:10Lobster ravioli
00:10:12Thank you so much
00:10:13And I'll be right back
00:10:21Alright
00:10:23Well, that looks great, Sondra
00:10:25It looks beautiful
00:10:27I'm so glad
00:10:31Okay
00:10:33Well, that was your day
00:10:36Oh, I had a wonderful day
00:10:38I really enjoyed the city
00:10:41Where have you been going?
00:10:44Steve took me out
00:10:45Really?
00:10:46Yeah
00:10:46We went to a few bars
00:10:48And had a wonderful time
00:10:49That's great
00:10:50I love the neighborhood
00:10:51Darling, I had an appointment uptown
00:10:53That the bars were on the way
00:10:55So I thought I'd kill two birds with one stone
00:10:58That's all there was to it
00:10:59Mm-hmm
00:11:01And Steve, what is the meaning of this shirt?
00:11:04I've never seen it before
00:11:05Well
00:11:07It's a jungly kind of shirt
00:11:09Mm-hmm
00:11:10About wildlife and wild things
00:11:13Kind of reminded me of
00:11:15When I visited Rwanda
00:11:18And Kenya
00:11:19And the bush
00:11:21And the jungle
00:11:21And
00:11:23It's kind of exciting, isn't it?
00:11:27But you were visiting with monkeys
00:11:30I wouldn't go that far
00:11:32But there's nothing like a fast-moving feline
00:11:39Do you like to dance, Sondra?
00:11:41Yeah, I used to be a professional dancer
00:11:43Well, could you help me with the mambo?
00:11:48I mean, I just wouldn't
00:11:50When I tune up my mambo skills
00:11:52Should we all go dancing?
00:11:54Well, sure
00:11:56That would be great
00:11:56I mean, what do you think, eh?
00:12:04I can't fucking believe
00:12:06That you're living with this blonde down here
00:12:08And I'm supposed to sit there and smile
00:12:11Which I did tonight
00:12:12And like, oh, this is just great
00:12:14Isn't this sweet that we went out for margaritas?
00:12:17Isn't this sweet that you went out to the bars together?
00:12:19I mean, look
00:12:20I'm not blaming you for finding her cute
00:12:22And I'm not blaming you for being attracted to her
00:12:24I told you
00:12:25I'm not blaming you, Steve
00:12:26I'm not blaming you
00:12:27Oh, yeah, you love me
00:12:29You're crazy jealous
00:12:30You're crazy jealous, you know?
00:12:32It's a pathology, Gay
00:12:34It's a form of pathology
00:12:39Well, I don't know many women
00:12:40That could have their boyfriend
00:12:41Living with some tall blonde
00:12:44That he's taking out drinking with him
00:12:46And he's living with her
00:12:47I don't know many women
00:12:48That would find that
00:12:48Like the most relaxing situation
00:12:50I mean, it's unbelievable
00:12:51I don't find her sexy at all
00:12:53You know, she seems erudite to me
00:12:56She seems like some kind of academic
00:12:58That's all
00:12:59That's all
00:13:00She seems like an academic
00:13:01You're making a mountain out of a molehill
00:13:03What's academic about her?
00:13:06Everything
00:13:06You can see that she's studious
00:13:08That she
00:13:10Studious?
00:13:11She
00:13:11She
00:13:12She is what she is
00:13:15You compartmentalize your life
00:13:17I'm the bedroom chef
00:13:18Then you have a chef that you live with
00:13:20Bedroom chef?
00:13:22That's what you call yourself?
00:13:23Yeah, exactly
00:13:24And then you have the other chef
00:13:26She may move into the bedroom chef role
00:13:28For all I know
00:13:29But the fact is
00:13:30You, I mean
00:13:31This is just like unbelievable
00:13:32Why
00:13:32You have more in your little finger
00:13:35Than she has in her entire head
00:13:38There's no measurable cerebral activity
00:13:41Going on there
00:13:42Steve, she's the one you spend
00:13:42You are living with
00:13:44And you spend four nights a week with
00:13:46And she gets dressed up
00:13:47Like she's going to a cocktail party
00:13:48To serve you dinner
00:13:49It's ridiculous
00:13:50Forget about it
00:13:51I think that she just doesn't have enough clothing
00:13:53She's going to send for her clothing
00:13:55From Canada
00:13:56Oh, come on, Steve
00:13:56That's what's going on
00:13:58That's the reality of it
00:13:59I don't know why do you think I have the IQ of a mouse
00:14:00Or something
00:14:01I mean, it's just so stupid
00:14:02All these rationalizations
00:14:03I know nothing about her
00:14:05I don't even know
00:14:06What her parents' name is
00:14:08Her address
00:14:08You don't know what my parents' name is
00:14:09She showed up from Craigslist
00:14:11Well, so what?
00:14:13Well, that's the what of it
00:14:14Well, you're sort of gaga
00:14:15You're looking
00:14:16You're wearing this ridiculous shirt with her
00:14:19I mean, is this supposed to mean that you're like virile?
00:14:22It's ridiculous about my shirt
00:14:24Well, I mean, you never wore this shirt before
00:14:26You have this special outfit for her
00:14:28It's kind of funny
00:14:29I mean, the whole thing is weird
00:14:30Gay, the shirt is runway
00:14:32What are you talking about?
00:14:33It's time to move on
00:14:35You're going to live with some blonde
00:14:36Where you're goo-goo-goo-goo-goo
00:14:38And having drinks together
00:14:39There's no goo-goo-goo-goo-goo-goo-goo-goo-goo-goo-goo-goo-goo-goo-goo-goo-goo-goo
00:14:41-goo-goo-goo-goo-goo-goo-goo-goo-goo-goo-goo-goo-goo-goo-goo-goo-goo-goo-goo-goo
00:14:42-goo-goo-goo-goo-goo-goo-goo-goo-goo-goo-goo-goo-goo-goo-goo-goo-goo-goo-goo-goo
00:14:46-goo-goo-goo-goo-goo-goo-goo-goo-goo-goo-goo-goo-goo-goo-goo-
00:14:55beginning to get me hot under the collar. Well, just cool off. Take 10 really deep breaths and
00:15:01then exhale. Yeah, well, I should take 10 really deep steps and get out of the situation. It's too
00:15:08painful, Steve. Well, Gay, I don't like these threats. I don't like this menacing. I'm telling
00:15:14you where I stand and you're really acting cuckoo. I mean, at the end of the day, what I can
00:15:20say is,
00:15:21go jump in the lake.
00:15:43Mira could search again for another man to be with, but she knows she won't meet someone
00:15:48she would love like she does him. She gets up and looks at herself in the mirror. She will be
00:15:5466 her
00:15:55next birthday. She can't compete with the youth of a 31-year-old with long hair and long legs,
00:16:02who provides him with dewy and provocative attention.
00:16:08I think we're okay. I mean, we have fun going on and stuff like that, but I can't get past
00:16:13the chef
00:16:14thing. Yeah. I mean, you're always reading magazines. All these, these cats leave for like
00:16:18their au pair or their shop or whatever. They like being served, especially an older guy. It's,
00:16:23it's love being served a nice meal and things like that. Like when I tell any man about Steve and
00:16:31the
00:16:31chef, they mean, he say, he's sleeping with her. And then I, and I say, I don't think so. And
00:16:36they say,
00:16:37um, I'd be sleeping with her. Yeah. You know, so my objection has always been just seeing him a few
00:16:44times a week because I really do think that that that's a big statement from him. Yeah. Well,
00:16:51he doesn't want intimacy. So you have to ask, do I, I mean, how come I put up with it?
00:16:57You're very
00:16:58busy. You're teaching all the time. You're writing all the time. It would be nice to be with somebody
00:17:03and not feel so, um, I don't know, so alone. I am alone with Steve, but I'm used to being
00:17:10alone,
00:17:10but I am alone with Steve. Yeah.
00:17:15I just don't want somebody having limitations on you. I want somebody that's just.
00:17:35So,
00:18:05I don't know what I'm going to do.
00:18:07I guess I'll bring it up with him.
00:18:08What else can I do?
00:18:10He'll deny it.
00:18:11That's what he likes to do.
00:18:13We were young once.
00:18:14That's what happens.
00:18:15They like these young women around to look at.
00:18:17It's like an old story.
00:18:18It's not so innocent as he likes to make out.
00:18:22Yeah, nobody would put up with it.
00:18:23I wouldn't put up with it either.
00:18:24Except I am putting up with it.
00:18:30Hey, Cesar.
00:18:31Hey.
00:18:33Good to see you.
00:18:34Come sit down.
00:18:39I read your pages.
00:18:41Totally fantastic.
00:18:43What does this mean?
00:18:44Every denial of a woman's instinct is a small cut.
00:18:47Or how do you interpret that?
00:18:49Well, it's the pain in your gut when you don't follow your instinct.
00:18:56And with my writing, I want to convey that it has long-lasting effects.
00:19:01It's not just in the moment.
00:19:02And it scars your soul every time you do it.
00:19:05I absolutely admire in your work this female character that is just full of anger.
00:19:11And, you know, I think that men are so terrified of women's anger.
00:19:19Although I remember one time my ex-husband, I can't remember why I was so angry.
00:19:24And I knocked on his car window.
00:19:27I was waiting at a train station.
00:19:28He dropped me off.
00:19:30And he rolled it down.
00:19:31And I just punched him in the nose.
00:19:34And to his credit, he didn't retaliate.
00:19:40But this whole thing of anger comes, I think, when women are stifled.
00:19:46The more you stifle a woman, the more she'll explode into a nuclear armament.
00:19:59Why do you put up with these idiots you go out with, Mira's father once asked her.
00:20:04What the hell do you want?
00:20:06She'd looked around the room desperately.
00:20:09It's not clear, she said.
00:20:10When I'm with someone, I often want to be alone.
00:20:13When I'm alone, I want to be with someone.
00:20:16So I make weird choices.
00:20:18Christ, he said, most people are like that.
00:20:21I'm frightened, she said.
00:20:23For me, the real lover might be ambivalence.
00:20:26Oh, he said, you're just in love with possibility.
00:20:32I was thinking that I want to come to Gloucester.
00:20:35I mean, I want to be there.
00:20:37I want to see you.
00:20:38I want to see the dog.
00:20:39I miss being with you.
00:20:41I miss...
00:20:43I just feel like being with somebody close.
00:20:45No, I'm not having problems with Steve.
00:20:46I just feel like being close to somebody.
00:20:51So, Amber, these pages are great.
00:20:53Thanks.
00:20:54In a way, nobody writes about sex better than you.
00:20:57I was remembering this whole time that I was relieved Eric was so gentle in bed.
00:21:01But it was right there in the journal.
00:21:02From the first night, I was disappointed that a man who was so domineering in life would be so gentle
00:21:07in bed.
00:21:07You write about that kind of passion.
00:21:11And it is rare.
00:21:13It's rare, actually.
00:21:15What you and Holland had, I've only had maybe twice in my life.
00:21:20How do you stay with your guy knowing that there's other things out there?
00:21:24Well, because I have other stuff with him.
00:21:25I like his mind.
00:21:28And ultimately, I guess I'd rather have that than great sex.
00:21:43She fumbles at it, a secret life of hers, the piano.
00:21:46She never stays with one piece long enough to get it right.
00:21:50But now Mira spends some nights wondering if there's time left to even try.
00:22:18I've brought you a lobster roll.
00:22:21How are you doing?
00:22:22I'm doing okay.
00:22:26I'm pondering what my next move is.
00:22:29Are you going to be able to eat for the next week while you're waiting?
00:22:32You're going to have to go to Craigslist, run the same ad.
00:22:36A, they've got to be able to cook.
00:22:39B, they have to be reliable and dependable.
00:22:43Non-smoker.
00:22:45Non-argumentative.
00:22:46Non-confrontational.
00:22:48In one word, submissive.
00:22:51I see.
00:22:52You need somebody under 25.
00:22:57It is true that generally the people that take this kind of work are in their 20s or 30s.
00:23:03Women.
00:23:05Preferably.
00:23:07Well, what if I apply?
00:23:09You.
00:23:11Gay, let's be serious.
00:23:14You've got a very important career.
00:23:17You're in the midst of three or four ghostwriting jobs.
00:23:22And I think it would be foolish and looking for trouble for you to try to tackle the demands of
00:23:30this job.
00:23:30It gets me that you have a home with them and you don't have a home with me.
00:23:34The one that left, she was so at home, she was half-dressed as she was cooking.
00:23:39I've never seen help here come upstairs half-dressed.
00:23:44On occasion, there have been Hungarians that have appeared in the kitchen barefoot, and I assumed that that was the
00:23:53way they cooked in their kitchens in Budapest.
00:23:58Well, why do you think the Cirque du Soleil dance were left like that?
00:24:02I'd like to know.
00:24:04I'd like to know.
00:24:04I would like to know, was there an exchange of words between you and her?
00:24:08What did you do that was provocative?
00:24:10Did you push a plate onto the floor that she had to sweep up?
00:24:14Very funny.
00:24:15Why are you always wanting to keep us in separate domain?
00:24:20I wouldn't say that at all, Gaye, but I think from a philosophical point of view, that defined spacing, it
00:24:30makes us viable as a couple.
00:24:31So basically, we'll never be together.
00:24:34The word never was never cited, okay?
00:24:39I never said never.
00:24:40I need serenity.
00:24:43You're very time-consuming, Gaye, especially when you start chirping.
00:24:58I know that young woman bothers you, but she's no threat to you, he said.
00:25:03Who else would get me and love me like you do?
00:25:06Who else would be so giving?
00:25:07Why would I give you up?
00:25:10Because she's blonde, she answered wryly.
00:25:13There is some merit to what you say, he said slowly, but not enough.
00:25:18Mira picked up her head.
00:25:19What did you say?
00:25:22You camouflage your feelings because you think you'll be hurt.
00:25:26Funny that, because she turned to face him and did exactly that, she camouflaged her feelings.
00:25:52Thanks.
00:26:01Gaye, I've been thinking.
00:26:08I never really asked you how you feel about carrots.
00:26:13Carrots?
00:26:14Yeah.
00:26:16Do you like them?
00:26:17Mm-hmm.
00:26:20Well, then how about this one?
00:26:24Oh, it's beautiful.
00:26:26It's lovely, lovely, lovely at hand.
00:26:29It symbolizes our love for one another.
00:26:34It's an eternal symbol.
00:26:41So, did you find a new chef?
00:26:45Yes.
00:26:46She's from Bangkok, of all places.
00:26:50I've checked a number of her references.
00:26:55And I'm going to give it a shot.
00:26:56Mm-hmm.
00:26:57Mm-hmm.
00:27:01So, she's moving in?
00:27:03Moving in.
00:27:04Well, this is a position.
00:27:06We're not moving in for life.
00:27:08She's moving her gear to the quarters where such people stay so that she can better perform her duties.
00:27:27So, we begin again with a new one.
00:27:32All of these people that work there come with an expiration date.
00:27:37Well, everybody comes with an expiration date.
00:27:40I'm not speaking that existentially.
00:27:44Some have stayed three years, four years.
00:27:47Ultimately, they all move on.
00:27:51As two girlfriends.
00:27:52Yeah.
00:27:54Gay.
00:27:57Let's not rehash that again.
00:28:00No, no.
00:28:00I'm just saying girlfriends do too.
00:28:06Well, okay.
00:28:10So.
00:28:15Okay.
00:28:26I like the food here.
00:28:27What about you?
00:28:40It's a cocktail ring, he said, handing it to her.
00:28:44You mean we're engaged to have cocktails?
00:28:46Mira asked, joking.
00:28:49Then she opened the box.
00:28:51It was beautiful.
00:28:52Green and blue stones, the color of tranquility.
00:28:58A ring, she said to herself.
00:29:00It's a way a man says I love you.
00:29:01I want to keep you.
00:29:05But she remembered two nights before, they'd been with a friend of his who'd given his girlfriend
00:29:10a ring for Valentine's.
00:29:12I know what that is, he said to his friend.
00:29:15A shut up ring.
00:29:45At first time, what he wanted to talk about?
00:30:09This was the town where Mira had drunk with her father, sat in fishermen's bars with a
00:30:14fisherman leering at her at 14, drunk on vodka squirts and frosted glasses that the bartenders
00:30:21gave her in homage to her father, drunk on sea roses and the sound of the sea, drunk on her
00:30:27youth
00:30:27and her burgeoning beauty, drunk on the daily fog that burned off to festive blue skies, and the sea
00:30:34that came in and out of eddies as if performing a sexual act.
00:30:41Guess where I am?
00:30:45I'm at the Atlantis Inn, and can you ask the bandits to come visit me?
00:30:50Yeah, you want to go see Auntie Gay?
00:30:54Yeah?
00:30:55Yeah.
00:30:56Ask him if he can bring you with him.
00:30:59Yeah, I think he's going to need me to drive him.
00:31:01I'll be the chauffeur.
00:31:06Daddy!
00:31:07How are you doing?
00:31:09What are you doing?
00:31:10Good to see you.
00:31:11Good to see you.
00:31:12Good to see you.
00:31:12Good to see you.
00:31:12Come on.
00:31:12This is awesome.
00:31:15I know.
00:31:16I know.
00:31:17I know.
00:31:17Oh, yeah.
00:31:18It's your girlfriend.
00:31:19I know.
00:31:22He's going to steal you away.
00:31:23What?
00:31:23Well, he is.
00:31:25Yeah.
00:31:25He's possessive.
00:31:26Yeah, a view.
00:31:27A view.
00:31:27Everything's okay?
00:31:29Everything's okay.
00:31:31Yes, everything's okay, but sometimes you've got to get out of dodge.
00:31:39Meera had forgotten how tall he was, how ready he was for something to happen, how he could
00:31:44seemingly connect, communicate.
00:31:47He had been in reconnaissance in Vietnam and he liked to get a sense of the terrain.
00:31:52Of course he'd come right over.
00:31:54There would be action, whatever it would be.
00:31:59I had to meld a modern building with, you know, a period stone house.
00:32:10Wow.
00:32:11What do you think, huh?
00:32:12Beautiful.
00:32:14I designed all that.
00:32:15Wow.
00:32:16Look at this view, huh?
00:32:17No, no, no.
00:32:19Spectacular.
00:32:19Oh, this ain't New York.
00:32:22Yeah?
00:32:23It's amazing how you survived prison and it's amazing how you rebuilt yourself after.
00:32:26And here you are, you went to prison for growing marijuana.
00:32:29Now it's legal everywhere.
00:32:30How does that make you feel?
00:32:31Just bad timing.
00:32:32Well, let's get back to you now.
00:32:34What are you doing here?
00:32:35And I just wanted to come and see somebody that was grown up enough to have a relationship
00:32:42and somebody who, you know, and just, I don't know, be with you and kind of settle my soul
00:32:46down and see what, I mean, I got to change too.
00:32:50But that's one of the reasons you're with Steve.
00:32:52What do you mean by that?
00:32:54Because he wanted to be with somebody that wouldn't force you into commitment yourself.
00:32:59That's what everybody says, but I'm not sure that's true.
00:33:02I know that it looks that way, smells that way.
00:33:06It is that way.
00:33:06It tastes that way.
00:33:07It is that way.
00:33:08I don't think it is that way.
00:33:09No, it may not be true.
00:33:10Well, maybe not.
00:33:11Maybe I've grown.
00:33:12I've grown and, but you know what happens is when you grow, you're like a little unsure
00:33:18of yourself and like, I'm trying to figure it out.
00:33:20What next?
00:33:22So, so I would say that you and I were the best relationship I had.
00:33:27So I thought I'd come to the horse's mouth and see like.
00:33:30Well, I don't think I've ever met anyone that knows me better than you.
00:33:35You understand me and you, I think you appreciate the stuff that I appreciate about myself more
00:33:45than anyone.
00:33:46Really?
00:33:47I would think everybody could see that.
00:33:49No.
00:33:49I mean, cause you're kind of extraordinary.
00:33:52I mean, you're in a war hero.
00:33:54Then you go to prison.
00:33:56You're, you win awards for sculpture.
00:33:59I mean, is there anything you can't do?
00:34:01I can't get you.
00:34:05This is you, kid.
00:34:06Good to see you.
00:34:07Yeah.
00:34:08But you want to be in a relationship too.
00:34:10I do.
00:34:11Yeah.
00:34:12Yeah.
00:34:13Because I think that's healthy.
00:34:14Don't you?
00:34:16You're in a relationship with Steve.
00:34:19Is that healthy?
00:34:21It's good for writing.
00:34:23That's right.
00:34:24So it's, it's like a, you don't have to dive in.
00:34:29Dive in.
00:34:30Yeah.
00:34:32But on another level, if you don't dive in, in a way you, you're only going so far.
00:34:36You never really, you don't get wet.
00:34:38You got to get wet.
00:34:41But do you really want to get wet?
00:34:43You were as close as I got to diving in and then I pulled out of the pool.
00:34:46Yeah.
00:34:48But.
00:34:49Okay.
00:34:49So why?
00:34:50Why?
00:34:51Great question.
00:34:52Um, I was, all I knew was myself independent and alone.
00:35:00And I didn't know who I would be if I wasn't independent and alone.
00:35:04Well, do you think you dive in easily?
00:35:06No.
00:35:07Are you a good diver?
00:35:08No.
00:35:11I'm probably a good diver but not a good swimmer.
00:35:22You got to stop moving out of Steve's life and moving in mine.
00:35:29Okay.
00:35:31But, uh, you know, I have to give up stuff too, you know?
00:35:35Yeah, like about ten women probably.
00:35:38No, no, but I, you know, I have a relationship with one woman that I have to give up.
00:35:43Do you want to be with somebody that doesn't know who the hell you are?
00:35:48You're amazing, you know?
00:35:51You got the purest heart I've ever seen.
00:35:53You've got, you know, brains, you're artistic.
00:35:56I think you've got to make the first move.
00:35:58I can make the first move?
00:36:00Yeah.
00:36:00I don't know if I can trust you.
00:36:03Because?
00:36:04You've rough-toused me before.
00:36:06Aww.
00:36:07Yeah, you have.
00:36:08You've got to face the facts.
00:36:10I'm sorry, Big Daddy.
00:36:11I know.
00:36:12Yeah.
00:36:14So, I have to be good.
00:36:17You've got to be better than good.
00:36:20You have to, you have to chill.
00:36:23We're not getting any younger.
00:36:30Mmm, wow.
00:36:32Pretty here, huh?
00:36:33Yeah, it's gorgeous.
00:36:34Totally gorgeous.
00:36:35Do you remember coming here before?
00:36:37Of course.
00:36:38Yeah, this is like your spot.
00:36:39So, I was thinking about your girlfriend's situation.
00:36:41Yeah.
00:36:42Well, what's she like?
00:36:44I mean, you've at least met Steve.
00:36:46You know he's certified.
00:36:47You know what he's like.
00:36:50Well, I didn't want to know.
00:36:54I want information.
00:36:56Well, I want to see what my competition was like.
00:37:01Well, what's she like?
00:37:04Well, it's the one part about her that she knows how to be in a relationship.
00:37:10So, it sounds pretty good.
00:37:13Well, I mean, there's always differences, you know?
00:37:16Like, I mean, for example, is she artistic?
00:37:19No.
00:37:21Which is difficult because she doesn't, you know, you're incredibly artistic and we have
00:37:27a mutual understanding and such and we can look at something and, you know, feel something
00:37:34that someone that doesn't, isn't autistic can't.
00:37:38So, I can't share that with her, you know?
00:37:42She puts up with my insanity to a great degree.
00:37:48You know, I mean...
00:37:50Like what?
00:37:51How are you insane?
00:37:54Well, I'm relentless when I do something and she just puts up with it.
00:38:04You know, I probably haven't told you that, but we're living together.
00:38:08No, you didn't tell me that.
00:38:10But that's okay.
00:38:12I figured you might be living with someone because, you know, I don't see you at night.
00:38:20Well, I mean, you know...
00:38:21I mean, it's okay.
00:38:22I mean, I understand that.
00:38:24I didn't think you were...
00:38:25I mean, who...
00:38:26I mean, you're a very attractive man.
00:38:27Why wouldn't you be?
00:38:29You must have been a hunted species here when you were alone.
00:38:33Well, you know, you were...
00:38:34You didn't give me any answers.
00:38:36No.
00:38:37No.
00:38:38It wouldn't open up.
00:38:39No.
00:38:41No, I'm not mad.
00:38:42I'm just...
00:38:43I'm just, um...
00:38:48We should be together.
00:38:50Yes, I have a girlfriend, he said.
00:38:53Well, okay, maybe she does live with me.
00:38:55Well, okay, maybe I've told her I love her and will never leave her.
00:38:59Maybe I did tell her she's the only one for me.
00:39:02Maybe her heart does revolve around me.
00:39:05Maybe I did say there would never be another woman.
00:39:08I don't see what that has to do with it.
00:39:20If I start talking to you, you're going to drink?
00:39:22Um...
00:39:23I'll stop water.
00:39:24Thank you, Gina.
00:39:24I'm gonna have a tea with milk.
00:39:26Tea with milk.
00:39:27Tea with milk.
00:39:27I hear from your mom and dad that you're...
00:39:31You're like...
00:39:32Knocking it out the park athletically, intellectually, and every single way.
00:39:37Yes.
00:39:38Yes.
00:39:39Stressful.
00:39:40but it is stressful but now that you're 16 are you knocking it out of the park with guys yes
00:39:44no i had to guess grandma you did there's a girl who's getting married she's a senior she's
00:39:52getting married already so people still get married yeah what about you yeah what what about
00:39:59me what about you oh well what do i want to get married cute thank you yeah i'd like to
00:40:06get
00:40:07married but um i was just told as a matter of fact today that i'm too impossible to get married
00:40:12oh
00:40:12that i'm too yeah i don't i don't think i'm very good at this romance thing i think that
00:40:23you know i came to gloucester as a kid with my dad and we spent all our time in the
00:40:28bars
00:40:30and my mother took off when i was four so i'm like not the most trusting conventional
00:40:35living type at this late day i want to become more in the box
00:40:47the monster's here hey
00:40:53look great awesome yeah happy daddy where'd you steal that dress
00:40:58who gave you that did what did steve give you that no no no big daddy yes so guess what
00:41:08give me a kiss
00:41:10so what do you think big daddy i think so now i think that what let's mess up this bed
00:41:18that's what we're gonna do we're gonna watch a movie we're gonna mess this bed up
00:41:21do you think you can handle this no no not at all it's great to have you in my arms
00:41:29again i know it's been a long time
00:41:31yeah
00:41:32it's been a long long time
00:41:35it's been a long time
00:41:38we could try again he said
00:41:41mira smiled sat back quietly and listened listening for a man is seduction she knows that
00:41:49you mean i would be your mistress
00:41:51after all mira thought she is more suited to it she has never been a hera but a latter-day
00:41:57aphrodite
00:41:58she would be doing what she's always done never the bride but the bedmate she touched his arm gently
00:42:06smelled his aftershave as he leaned in well he asked what's the answer doesn't he know mistresses
00:42:13never tell never tell that they would like to be so much more
00:42:22i think we'll do a great goose rocks here's to you honey bunch let's look at you kid
00:42:28i i keep
00:42:32i keep thinking you know that that um here it comes like yeah i can feel it right now
00:42:41what go ahead so i feel a little bit that um
00:42:48uh that we're up to no good
00:42:54you're gonna find a excuse any way you can
00:43:04how are you gonna feel if you leave here today right and we never get together
00:43:13i don't know i mean it's it's um
00:43:16it's gonna be like a big piece of this is gone
00:43:20yeah right that you can never recapture because i'm not going to go through this again
00:43:24you've got to get into this more than and just
00:43:28no i know but that's gonna put you in a very weird position
00:43:33i'm willing to take that chance
00:43:43i don't know i have trouble as you say diving into murky waters you're not that murky you're scaring
00:43:59we'll start this out slow we'll meet and hop it we'll have dinner and i i think it's just a
00:44:08question of you getting used to it i'm gonna get used to you living with someone else if i see
00:44:13that
00:44:13this is going to really happen then i will remove remove myself from that situation and then
00:44:21but you know that um
00:44:25it's hard for me to to um
00:44:30a commit
00:44:36um yeah maybe i don't know i don't know intellectually i don't feel like it's hard for me to commit
00:44:41but
00:44:42my track record speaks differently yeah for sure yeah yeah yeah
00:44:49so i mean so it is that i love you i just um thinking we are not you know what
00:44:57you know what
00:44:58i'm telling you right now i'm done with this i cannot deal with this anymore your fickleness of
00:45:05saying yes i want this i don't want this i'm freaking done
00:45:13you got to act or you don't and you don't you're not going to act i can't trust it
00:45:24i'm done
00:45:49meira didn't know why she said she wouldn't meet him again she would have loved to meet him again why
00:45:54did she sit there and let him walk out of her life like that she'd done that so many times
00:46:00encouraged men
00:46:01to walk away from her it was almost the only thing she knew how to do
00:46:13um
00:46:16so
00:46:38The thing about the streets of New York is that even if you're walking nowhere, you're
00:46:42walking somewhere. The drivenness of the city, a legal narcotic. Nobody knows if it is enjoyable,
00:46:49but it becomes absolutely integral and necessary. To stop feels like to die.
00:47:06Sally, it's so beautiful here. I know. Now tell me, how was Gloucester?
00:47:12It's so beautiful, right? I saw Big Daddy, and I spent time with him. I don't know if
00:47:19I made a mistake in not being with him. I don't know, but maybe I did. He takes this position
00:47:25that I have to open up, that I'm to blame for being alone, and that I've got to change my
00:47:32act, and as he puts it, say yes. It's a lot, generally. Yeah, well, say yes. You meet a
00:47:39woman, you fall in love, you marry her, you live happily ever after. You marry her, you
00:47:42cheat on her. But you live happily before you cheat on her. And happily after you cheat on
00:47:49her. I think, by the way, you have been opening up. Compared to when you met me. I know that,
00:47:54even in the last three or four years, you know, I see a huge difference. And I think that's
00:48:02where some of the pain is coming from. As you're willing to be more open, you start to feel
00:48:07more, and you're feeling that loneliness more than you did three years ago. You talk about
00:48:13it more. Yeah. Well, I always, as you know, used to cheat. Right. So I always had a lot going
00:48:21on. So, right, you know, onto the, onto the, yeah, well, onto, onto, I don't know, onto
00:48:28something. I've stopped doing that. No. But he wants you to even be more out there, taking
00:48:34some risks and making some changes, probably.
00:49:05Uh, here are the new releases. I was looking for a certain book, but I'm not seeing it yet.
00:49:17You found something interesting? I have. I have. I think you might like this book. What's
00:49:24the title? Um, On a Summer Afternoon. In Tuscany. Yeah, I'm very familiar with that book.
00:49:35I know. Congratulations. You're a wonderful writer. Oh, I don't know what to do. I hope
00:49:42my buttons don't pop off here. Well, thank you. It's got great reviews, this book. Well,
00:49:49it's a year of my life. So I must have been committed. I threw a lot of pages into the
00:49:55waste paper basket. I have this sign. I use an old fashioned typewriter. I have a sign
00:50:02over my typewriter that says two pages a day and no judgments. And that's how I write a
00:50:09book. That's smart. That's smart. So what do you do? I write books too. Aha. But mine are
00:50:17not as successful as yours. But I don't want to hear anything. In fact, most people aren't.
00:50:23What's the title of one of your books? Uh, The Erotic Fire of the Unattainable. The Erotic
00:50:31Fire of the Unattainable. Well, that's enough for me. I want to buy that book.
00:50:39Are we going to base it on the title? On the title. Okay.
00:50:45Yeah. He approached her. This man that everyone admires and she does for his success. She's
00:50:54not used to such attentions. He writes of desire. It is his domain. He has made money.
00:51:00He has acquired fame. He makes it look simple. He even makes it simple to acquire her. Mira
00:51:06goes along with it just to see, just to see if it is possible she's worth acquiring anymore.
00:51:20Yeah, no, I'd love to have lunch. But I, wait a minute. I just, I just forgot. I can't
00:51:25because I have students till two. Yeah. Well, why don't I meet you for a walk?
00:51:34Okay. He called. Just doing that in itself was exciting. She's on someone's mind. You
00:51:40could have most women just for his name alone, but he called her. A door just opened. She's
00:51:46about to take an emotional ship somewhere new. All the electricity has just been turned on.
00:52:25So, this is a place where I used to bring all my sons. They've been the gifts that I
00:52:30wasn't entitled to, but got anyway. I love them in a way that I never loved anybody. You
00:52:38don't have any children. No. No. So, do you feel that you missed out on something?
00:52:45I'm sure I did miss out. I mean, people are crazy about their kids. And I'm sort of, you
00:52:51know, I'm alone in the world. Sort of one of those, I'll have to rely on the kindness of
00:52:55strangers. But I just couldn't do it. And actually, that's why my husband and I split
00:53:01up. He wanted a kid and I didn't. I mean, my mother left when I was very, very small. So,
00:53:09I think that's probably the psychological reason. But then also, my husband was a bit
00:53:14of a kid. And also, we were poor. I'm an artist. I would have had to work, write, raise a
00:53:20kid.
00:53:22Seems better for him to do it with someone else. And indeed, it has been.
00:53:47Meera remembered when she was a young woman. A man had woven snapdragons and roses and
00:53:52poppies and daffodils around her bicycle handlebars in the very early morning. The man she now
00:53:58remembers is dead. That man who had taken such care to leave that sensitively constructive
00:54:03gift of beauty for her. He didn't leave a note. She remembers that too. Oh, for such poetry.
00:54:18What? I want to spend more time with you, but I want it to be kind of quality, open time,
00:54:24where we can be very authentic with our desire. I like to think of a sexual experience as one of
00:54:34you have abandoned. So, you abandon yourself to it. I'm not particularly wild sexually.
00:54:41I mean, I was never like in threesomes and on windowsills and stuff like that. But, I don't
00:54:50know. For me, sex is about the man. So, I know this is déclasse, but is there a Mrs. Jennings?
00:55:05There is a Mrs. Jennings. I might as well just put that out here on the table with the tomatoes.
00:55:11I don't want to spend a lot of time talking about her, but there is one. I've only gone through
00:55:16this
00:55:16twice. Well, is Mrs. Jennings the third? You don't seem to be ashamed. My father had three wives.
00:55:29Well, thank you for that.
00:55:41All three of Mira's mother's husbands had been married when her mother met them, including her own father.
00:55:47All those men left their spouses for her mother. In her own case, married men made her nervous,
00:55:54when with them, she ended up dreaming of her mother.
00:56:14So, how come you finally wrote me? Well, why shouldn't I?
00:56:23Well, looks like I can't stay away from you. You're catnip.
00:56:29I take that as a compliment, Gay. I think I've been a really constructive influence. I think of myself as
00:56:38your muse.
00:56:43Well, it's not about my writing, but although I did make you a character and everything.
00:56:50Well, I'm happy to be a character. I've always been one.
00:56:59His way of making love was to tell her that he was good for her.
00:57:03Mira didn't know how that kind of trait could be measured.
00:57:06He thinks he raises her productivity like she's a threshing machine.
00:57:10She doesn't work for him, so why would that matter to him?
00:57:14She realized he's a series of mazes that she has to travel down to find the current to the heart.
00:57:19It is the work of that that she loves. That is the productivity which interests her.
00:57:27Well, come on in, Gay. And I get you something to drink.
00:57:35Okay, it's a magnificent rosé spritzer.
00:57:40Hope you like it. What are you looking at so intently?
00:57:43I'm looking at this. Tell me again everything.
00:57:46What do you see?
00:57:46You can see the stars behind me, which are in the exact configuration that they were in the night of
00:57:56my birth.
00:57:57Back on the horizon behind me, you can see the pyramids, the Hindu Kush mountains and Afghanistan.
00:58:05And what about Spot? He sat for that?
00:58:08That wonderful dog. Look at his eyes. Those eyes are alive.
00:58:14Yeah, and so are yours.
00:58:14No, I take that as a compliment.
00:58:17Yours are like staring off into infinity.
00:58:21It's beautiful. It's amazing.
00:58:23Yeah.
00:58:25Well, your whole place is like that. It's like an exteriorization of your interior.
00:58:37Why does one body just pull you and one mind delight you even if that mind infuriates you?
00:58:44They say that Winston Churchill had audacity.
00:58:46So does this man with his painting of himself over his fireplace.
00:58:51With his red apartment and toy soldiers everywhere.
00:58:54An audacity for play.
00:58:56For light and magical thinking.
00:58:58With colored glasses about that reflect the sun on his ceilings.
00:59:02And objects everywhere that whirr with the wind.
00:59:05He lives on a pirate ship. A fun house.
00:59:08And Mira suddenly realizes she must have wanted to join the circus.
00:59:36Nice to see you again.
00:59:38Yeah.
00:59:41So tell me about your personal life.
00:59:45What about your boyfriends? Have you had a lot of boyfriends?
00:59:49Well, I mean, I'm a woman of a certain age. I've had a lot of boyfriends.
00:59:53But the, yeah, I guess I have.
00:59:56Are you in a relationship now?
00:59:59I'm in a relationship of a sort.
01:00:03I've never had a man before kind of not want to live together or take it further or whatever.
01:00:12Seems to me that when you love someone you get strong.
01:00:16You get, you, you, you move, you.
01:00:18You want more?
01:00:19Well, you do braver things. You don't, you don't hold back. You kind of, you dive in.
01:00:24Yeah.
01:00:24Yeah.
01:00:25And you're right.
01:00:26Right. When, when you love someone.
01:00:27So the fact that he holds back makes me think, wow, does he love me?
01:00:32Am I convenient? I don't know.
01:00:34Well, maybe it's just that you feel rejected.
01:00:38Maybe it's not a real rejection. He just wants his freedom.
01:00:42And, you know, I'm standing up for him. I'm his advocate.
01:00:49Well, yeah, the freedom.
01:00:51Yeah.
01:00:52I can never tell if I like the relationship or not because I like freedom.
01:00:58And I like that you like freedom.
01:01:01I think that's what's going to work here.
01:01:02Let's just keep this feeling. Okay.
01:01:05Because when we do finally connect, it'll be great.
01:01:09You smell good. You look good.
01:01:12Your lips are great.
01:01:15So great.
01:01:17I'm going to run to the restroom.
01:01:22Your husband's waiting for you outside.
01:01:24Joel Putnam.
01:01:28Okay.
01:01:29You know, you know, they just, he just said your husband's waiting for you.
01:01:33It's so sweet in a way.
01:01:35It was like, sort of like, I don't know.
01:01:38Nobody ever says your husband's waiting for you.
01:01:40There's something nice about that.
01:01:41Why?
01:01:41Couldn't he say Rudolph Valentino is waiting for you?
01:01:44Something like that.
01:01:57I studied with an improviser and a pianist named Connie Crothers.
01:02:01Or she would have me play something really simple.
01:02:04Yeah.
01:02:04And say that every note has its own little universe.
01:02:08Which I really liked.
01:02:10I felt like that was, what I took away from that was that there's a lot,
01:02:15there's a multitude in nuance and all the little details of the music.
01:02:19I love that.
01:02:21And then there was another teacher, and it's kind of obvious,
01:02:23but he said, you have to be in time if you want to play with other people.
01:02:28And it seems that that's true, you know, in life.
01:02:31You know, if you want to play with people, you've got to,
01:02:35you've got to be in their time.
01:02:42Here you go, Etienne.
01:02:43Well, hey.
01:02:44Thank you so much.
01:02:46Wow.
01:02:47You're so lovely.
01:02:52Steve, this is not how girls like men to be.
01:02:56I hear you.
01:02:57It's completely instinctive.
01:03:00It's nothing to do with you.
01:03:02It's the way I grew up.
01:03:05It's just one of those kooky things.
01:03:08It's from a different age, a different epoch,
01:03:10when there was much less self-expression of affectionate feelings.
01:03:17Thank God your feathers aren't ruffled by it,
01:03:19because you know there's nothing to it, right?
01:03:25Once Mira told a friend that her lover didn't like to kiss.
01:03:29A friend said, how can you get turned on then?
01:03:32That correlation had not occurred to her.
01:03:35There had been years when she too had not liked to kiss.
01:03:38But then that changed.
01:03:40She began to respect the tenderness of kissing,
01:03:43the sweetness of it, the intimacy of it.
01:03:46Everyone knows kissing is in some ways more intimate than sex.
01:03:49Would she end up cheating on her lover by finding someone to only kiss her?
01:03:56Within minutes, he leaned down to kiss her on the mouth,
01:03:59and Mira could feel her body heat up with desire.
01:04:02Then he began unbuttoning her blouse,
01:04:05gauging her breasts as art that he might want,
01:04:07and then inquisitively took in her legs with his eyes
01:04:10as his hand traveled up between them.
01:04:13She found herself wet, wanting that urgency,
01:04:16and the funny part was she wasn't even sure she liked him.
01:04:19But she was attracted to his masculine sureness of what he wanted.
01:04:23And then he began saying, oh cock and tits,
01:04:26and as she began to fondle him,
01:04:27and he was working her clitoris,
01:04:29and she could have come then just by that.
01:04:31But instead he placed himself inside her,
01:04:34and soon they came together.
01:04:35I love you, he said, and she knew he didn't,
01:04:38and she thought it old-fashioned that he would think he had to say that.
01:04:41She said nothing.
01:04:42She could give her body, she thought,
01:04:44but she could not use words dishonestly.
01:04:57Wow.
01:05:02This is fantastic.
01:05:05You have scored big points with me with all these books, huh?
01:05:09This is the library of your life.
01:05:12But does it make up for the four flights of stairs?
01:05:15No, you still have work to do.
01:05:19You're getting a little nervous, right?
01:05:20Yeah, yeah.
01:05:22I just want to see what your skin feels like.
01:05:24Hmm.
01:05:27Skin's important.
01:05:28Mm-hmm.
01:05:29Smell, skin, senses.
01:05:32Mm-hmm.
01:05:32So you're pleasing my eyes,
01:05:34and now you're pleasing my fingertips.
01:05:46Oh, my God.
01:05:48Oh.
01:05:49Oh.
01:05:50Oh.
01:05:51I need to sit up a little bit here.
01:05:55Oh.
01:05:59Oh.
01:06:00Oh, you turned me on.
01:06:03This is good.
01:06:06My hunch was right.
01:06:09It's quiet once.
01:06:10I knew within the first 17 seconds in that bookshop.
01:06:17So I'm thinking you brought me up here to kill me.
01:06:21like a queen bee.
01:06:23Yeah.
01:06:26Huh?
01:06:27Worst ways to go.
01:06:28You're not in the will yet.
01:06:29Forget about it.
01:06:31But don't expect me to go for a second inning here.
01:06:35Huh.
01:06:37Huh.
01:06:38So...
01:06:42We seem to be working well together.
01:06:46I have a permanent hotel suite in Montreal.
01:06:51In Montreal?
01:06:53Isn't that where you're from?
01:06:54That is where I'm from.
01:06:56I only get up there maybe two or three times a year
01:07:00for a week at a time.
01:07:03So, my deal is this.
01:07:07Why don't you move up there for most of the year?
01:07:11Ah, me alone, isolated in Montreal.
01:07:13It'll be good.
01:07:16It'll be great, actually, for both of us.
01:07:21Sounds like something would be better in a book.
01:07:27What a fool she is.
01:07:29One man is married and turns out to be a bore.
01:07:33Another hides a girlfriend.
01:07:35Another has meals with his help, not her.
01:07:39Hasn't she ever heard of being with someone available?
01:07:42When the hell is she going to take a risk?
01:07:44What is she so frightened of?
01:07:46Or does she think creativity is making what looks impossible possible?
01:07:51If so, then what she's made impossible is her own life.
01:07:54If so, you're okay about having this party for the plants?
01:08:22Okay.
01:08:23Sure.
01:08:24I'm okay.
01:08:24Why not?
01:08:25I like a big party.
01:08:26I'm an extrovert.
01:08:28Let's do it.
01:08:29Sure.
01:08:30And you went over the guest list?
01:08:32I surveilled the guest list.
01:08:36Of course, I know most of the names, and let's be candid.
01:08:42It varies from ossified to calcified.
01:08:47There could be even a section for Cro-Magnon and Neanderthal.
01:08:52Nevertheless, it's a great guest list, even if aged.
01:08:58As you may have noticed on the margins, I made some annotations of some additional names
01:09:06that I think would be added.
01:09:08Why do you need ten young women at the party?
01:09:12I just don't want it to be like a mortuary night of the living dead.
01:09:18Let's have some young people there that come in skimpy outfits and like to dance, and it's going to be
01:09:25fine.
01:09:25And let's not be molecular and use our microscopes to look at every single molecule of this.
01:09:35I don't know why these people that are coming with their wives need to have young women there.
01:09:39Look, I don't want to keep going around in circles about a subject that is really a rectangle.
01:09:48The geometry of what you're talking about is completely off-center.
01:09:54They're just people I thought I would like to invite to give the evening a little edge.
01:10:00If we continue talking about this, I'm going to get hot.
01:10:05I implore you, let's change the subject.
01:10:15You mean you don't want to talk about it?
01:10:18Just gate!
01:10:26I guess you don't.
01:10:36After you have a fight, Mira thought, you think maybe you were wrong.
01:10:39Why did I make an issue of this or that? Was it really that important?
01:10:44Funny how when our lovers walk away from us, we become a four-year-old abandoned on the street.
01:10:49Who will love us? Who will take our hand?
01:10:51What do we do now, all alone in the world?
01:11:05Yay!
01:11:07Looking forward to the book?
01:11:08Yeah, any day now.
01:11:09Any day now?
01:11:11Yeah.
01:11:11But you seem a little chagrined. What's up?
01:11:15Um, I had a...
01:11:18No, nothing. I just...
01:11:20You know, I have trouble sometimes with boys, as you know.
01:11:23I just had a fight with Steve the other day.
01:11:25And, um...
01:11:29And, um...
01:11:30Yeah, and I'm trying not to have an affair with a playboy.
01:11:34Um, that's it.
01:11:35Hmm.
01:11:37Well...
01:11:38Write about it.
01:11:39Only solution, Kingsborough.
01:11:41Yes. Only solution.
01:11:42Yeah.
01:12:15I'm sorry about our fight, Steve.
01:12:18It was a misunderstanding. I'm sorry.
01:12:22Forgive me.
01:12:24Maybe it's because I work a lot. I don't know.
01:12:28Yeah, your work is, uh, your lifeblood.
01:12:32Yeah.
01:12:33It's...
01:12:33It's the thing that really is the essence of your life.
01:12:37We can't blame it on work.
01:12:39Okay.
01:12:42Well...
01:12:44Yeah.
01:12:47Um...
01:12:48Yeah, and then I...
01:12:49I mean, I'm also giving up this whole thing of thinking, you know,
01:12:52we have to live together and all that stuff.
01:12:54I've got... I sort of...
01:12:57You know, I used to...
01:12:58I used to...
01:12:59As you know, I took it as rejection.
01:13:00So now I, um...
01:13:03Yeah.
01:13:04So I'm...
01:13:05I'm growing up at this late age.
01:13:07I want you to know that I am poignantly disappointed
01:13:11that I was drawn into the fight and I...
01:13:15Oh, we're all human.
01:13:16A thousand apologies.
01:13:17We're all human.
01:13:18Accepted, but we're all human.
01:13:19You have more in your little finger than any of those other women ever had in their entire anatomies.
01:13:28Your uppermost and my thoughts constantly.
01:13:35Back at you.
01:13:38Pardon me?
01:13:39Back at you.
01:13:46Yes, he often didn't know what it was she wanted.
01:13:49Yes, he sometimes sounded like he was rote.
01:13:52Yes, he could not leave his comfort zone in love.
01:13:55And we all must leave our comfort zone in love.
01:13:57But the Torah says it is good to see the person beneath the facade.
01:14:01And maybe that was enough.
01:14:03And maybe it wasn't.
01:14:13I want you to know, I have really deep feelings towards you.
01:14:20I'm thinking about you constantly.
01:14:25And you never kick me at night.
01:14:28You know?
01:14:29That's a huge plus right there.
01:14:33I love you more than the Canadian tundra.
01:14:41Wow.
01:14:42That's intriguing.
01:14:44But at the same time, a little disappointing.
01:14:49Can I get a Canadian sunset instead?
01:14:52No.
01:14:53No?
01:15:03Why did Mira say she loved him more than the Canadian tundra?
01:15:08Not a standard romantic expression.
01:15:12The Canadian tundra is empty, large and cold.
01:15:17She must have been saying she loved him without the claustrophobia of trees.
01:15:35Oh, please.
01:15:38So you have something for me?
01:15:40Yes, George.
01:15:41Hey.
01:15:42Hey. So, does she get the right guy?
01:15:47Page 270, you'll find out.
01:15:49Page 270? What's next?
01:15:52Well, I don't know what's next yet. It's been soon. I don't know. I've got to find a new subject.
01:15:58Maybe for your next work, you could write about guys like me. Do a little flirting with me for field
01:16:06work.
01:16:07With you?
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