- 5 hours ago
American Classic S01E03 (2026)
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TVTranscript
00:01John? John? Listen to me.
00:05Cover your ears.
00:06No, you have to tell him. You have to tell him that if he goes through with this, that theater,
00:10it closes forever.
00:13John.
00:14You don't want coffee?
00:14No, I am already, I am seeing noises. You have to talk to him.
00:19Now, this morning.
00:21Okay, it might work better if we do it together.
00:23I have Boyle in half an hour and then I have the concerned parents book burning summit and besides I
00:28might kill him.
00:29So you have to do it.
00:30Okay, okay, okay. But just for the sake of discussion. I mean, it is Our Town, right? There's no sets,
00:34there's no props. It's the mime, right? It's the cheapest show in the world.
00:38It's the greatest Our Town.
00:41But that's what he said. This is going to be some crazy Richard Bean shit that's going to just bankrupt
00:46all of us.
00:46Well, we don't know that.
00:48Yes, we do because I know him.
00:50We do not have the money for original productions of any kind. We don't have any money at all.
00:56Look, you have to talk to him. You have to just get him to go away.
01:00I made bagels.
01:01From scratch?
01:02Uh-huh. Take him for lunch.
01:04I'll talk to him. I'll talk to him.
01:06You know, he's probably forgotten about it already.
01:09You know, he gets swept up in the moment. I mean, has he ever followed through with anything?
01:22What, uh, what are you doing?
01:24Uh, I made a great deal on some new fiersies.
01:28Seats?
01:30221 upholstered flip-up seats from an old movie house in New Jersey.
01:35And, uh, he said if I bought the whole lot, I could get him for like, uh, $95 per unit.
01:41Per seat?
01:42And free delivery.
01:43Hold on, wait, hold on. That's, that's more than $20,000. You can't, Jesus Christ.
01:49Richard, we gotta talk.
01:51Listen, I made a vow over our mother's cold, dead body...
01:55Hey, stop saying that.
01:56...that I would restore this theater to its former glory.
02:00Yes, okay, but this is a working theater. We have another week of nonsense.
02:03You can't just come in here and tear it all apart.
02:05I know. I'm not tearing anything apart.
02:06Help me move these tables. Help me move these tables.
02:08I'm just making a plan. I'm helping you. I'm keeping you comfortable.
02:10You're not helping me at all.
02:11Yeah, I feel weak.
02:12Oh, you feel...
02:13I know what this is. This is your low blood sugar thing, right?
02:17Yes, it's your low blood sugar.
02:19Okay, I'm gonna make you a sandwich.
02:21Yeah.
02:22I love you, brother.
02:33The matinee special.
02:36That's fantastic.
02:37I take on a Reuben with a spicy pickle put in there.
02:41No, but there's something in the bread.
02:42Juniper berries.
02:43I fold them in instead of caraway seeds.
02:47You made the bread?
02:48Yes, I made the bread.
02:49Cook on the subway.
02:51On Main Street, there's...
02:52Yeah, I'm not gonna do that.
02:52No, no, you're not.
02:54And why?
02:55Because this sandwich is a sandwich of a certain standard.
02:59This is the Thornton Wilder sandwiches.
03:03People who abide into this sandwich are never gonna be satisfied with Subway.
03:08Again, you see where I'm going with this?
03:09Maybe.
03:10I see an hour town.
03:13It's completely new.
03:15It'll have a real sort of fountain.
03:18It'll have a horse crossing the stage.
03:21It'll have rain falling from the sky like the sky is weeping.
03:25Sounds very expensive.
03:27It's my juniper berries.
03:29See?
03:30Okay?
03:32Dad can play the stage manager.
03:34He can't do it.
03:35Yes, he can.
03:35He did it for me this morning.
03:36Richard, you haven't been here.
03:37He can do it.
03:38You know, two weeks ago, we found Dad walking down Third Street in his slippers in one of Mom's hats.
03:44He had no idea where he was.
03:45Doesn't matter.
03:46The play is locked in there.
03:48Trust me.
03:49It will be all of us as a family telling great stories.
03:55Yeah, that's what we do.
03:58And the people who are lucky enough to be sitting in our new seats,
04:02they're gonna remember it for a long time.
04:10I'm so, so sorry.
04:11I'm late.
04:12I'm dealing with this small family thing, and it's not really small.
04:17It's suffocatingly large.
04:18Actually, it's enormous, but, you know, I'm getting a rash.
04:21You wanted to talk about your payment?
04:25Yes.
04:26I know we're already behind, but we had to cancel several shows because of the funeral,
04:33and there's this famous actor in the family, and he has to make everything about a show, so it's...
04:37So you're defaulting on the loan?
04:38No.
04:39No, no, no.
04:40No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
04:42It's just about this month.
04:49Don't worry, pulling your leg.
04:52I know you're good for it.
04:54Yeah, forget about this month.
04:55We'll call a payment holiday.
04:57Oh, God.
05:00Thank you, thank you.
05:01I promise we'll make it up next month.
05:05Can we keep this between us?
05:08Yeah, yeah, Ron.
05:09Oh, and in return...
05:10Connor, I cannot give you a quid pro quo.
05:13I've told you that.
05:14I've made it quite clear.
05:15No, no, you're saying it's not about permits.
05:17It's about dinner.
05:23What?
05:25Yeah, would you mind inviting Nadia May over for dinner?
05:30Oh, that's it?
05:31She's obsessed with the actor fella.
05:34I mean, she said she used to watch him back in Russia, you know, I don't know.
05:37She said she wants to ask him some questions, and, you know, her heart's all a flutter with his theater
05:40shite, so...
05:42...a dinner with him would make her happy.
05:43I mean, if that's not a problem...
05:45No, no.
05:47Getting Richard Bean to talk about himself is not a problem.
05:50Just don't count on an early night.
05:52What is your obsession with fog?
05:55Fog?
05:55What do you mean?
05:56You wanted it at the funeral, too?
05:58No, no, this is going to be a heavy fog that will drift off of the stage, into the audience,
06:02nestle at their feet, and kind of invite them to be part of the action.
06:06Okay, but it's a small space, so you have to be careful, right?
06:09You're worried about the CO2, are you?
06:11Well, yes, it is lethal, but that's only if the audience gets down on their hands and knees and tries
06:16to huff it.
06:17Well, hi, boys.
06:19Hello.
06:19How's it going?
06:20Three-quarters full, Miranda's doing drinks.
06:23Hello, Richard.
06:24How are you?
06:26Well, I'm fine.
06:29Well, what have you beans been up to?
06:32Well, Richard has been walking me through a production design.
06:35It's ambitious, but it's very cool, and I was about to tell him what you'd said.
06:40What did you say?
06:42Well, I was going to say that I know whatever you come up with will be ambitious.
06:50But very cool.
06:51Really?
06:52Yeah.
06:53High praise coming from you.
06:54I'll take it.
06:55So, how ambitious?
06:57Just out of curiosity.
06:59You want to know the cost?
07:00Well, I based my budget on a typical Broadway budget.
07:05Why would you start there?
07:07I mean, this is Millersburg.
07:10No, I know that.
07:10I know that.
07:11Yeah?
07:11Polly's going to oversee the whole design for free, and she told me that if we don't use
07:16the union crew for the load-in, that's $400,000 right there.
07:20I beg your pardon?
07:21The $400,000 that we save.
07:23Okay.
07:24They're all ship-faced.
07:25We can start.
07:26Good.
07:28What's that?
07:29Oh, this is, uh, my, our tone.
07:33Just drawings and sketches.
07:35Just thoughts, you know.
07:36Oh, I'm so excited.
07:37You know, I'm casting it with local actors, and I think I have something very nice for you.
07:44You don't mean...
07:46I do.
07:47Seriously?
07:49Yeah.
07:52Okay, okay, enough.
07:54Back to serving.
07:54Thank you, I love you.
07:55Is this a good go?
07:56Yes.
07:57There we go.
07:57Bye.
07:59Don't you think she'll make a wonderful Emily?
08:01I mean, she could be as good as...
08:03She could be better than you.
08:04Cut to the chase.
08:06How much?
08:07All in.
08:08If we pay the actors equity minimum, ballpark figure, it'd be $250,000 a week.
08:16For our town?
08:18That's our operating budget for the entire year.
08:20I've got some wiggle room.
08:22I can give up my waterfall.
08:24I can just get rid of the cornfield.
08:27It's our town.
08:28There is no waterfall or cornfield.
08:31Okay, up front, it's more like $200,000.
08:35And once we cover the nut, then the production pays for itself.
08:39Oh, speaking of which, I bought 212 theater seats.
08:45And I thought, since they're a permanent addition to the theater, that maybe you could expense it for me and
08:50get the tax credit.
08:51You didn't buy the seats?
08:53Yes.
08:53The guy told me I'd be an idiot not to buy them.
08:56Those were his exact words.
08:57No, but you didn't buy them.
08:59Yes, I did.
08:59I told you I did.
09:00No, you didn't tell me that.
09:01You told me you found them online.
09:02I told you not to buy them.
09:03I told you to slow down.
09:04I told...
09:05No, no, see this?
09:06No, I understand.
09:08I didn't know he bought them.
09:10He told me he found them online.
09:11Seats are free?
09:12He didn't tell me he bought them.
09:13I didn't know.
09:14I had a great deal.
09:15I don't know what you're talking about.
09:16Just do me a favor.
09:17Go give those nuns their 15-minute call, please.
09:20Okay.
09:20New seats.
09:21You lie.
09:21Okay.
09:22You have to sit somewhere.
09:23So.
09:24This is a problem.
09:25So.
09:26Don't worry her.
09:27Why don't you keep this, just in case there's a problem, and you might have to return them.
09:32Well, no, no, this was a kind of final sale sort of deal.
09:36Just in case.
09:37You don't actually think I expect you to pay for the whole thing yourself, do you?
09:42What?
09:42I mean, my vision of our town, my reign and horse.
09:48Reign?
09:49Horse?
09:50Because, you know, I do have access to angels, super angels, friends.
09:54That is, in fact, very good to hear.
09:57Now, I need you to do something for me.
10:04Come to the house Thursday night.
10:07I am having a dinner for a developer who is literally the only person in the world who is putting
10:13money back into this town.
10:14And for his wife or girlfriend or God only knows what she is.
10:21But she is a big fan.
10:24Oh.
10:25Oh, a fan.
10:26Yeah.
10:28So, you'll come?
10:29No.
10:30I'm kidding.
10:31Of course I'll come.
10:34And you'll act normal?
10:37I'll give it a shot.
10:39For you.
10:41For the town.
10:45Anything to help?
10:47I'm going to make a phone call or two.
10:49Yeah.
10:51It's Richard Bean calling with a proposal I'd like to make to James Davis.
10:56Oh, I'd say it's business and pleasure.
10:59Yeah.
11:00It's about a show.
11:03Bean.
11:03B-E-A-N.
11:04B-E-A-N.
11:05Like the legume.
11:07Oh, she's not there.
11:09Okay.
11:11Uh.
11:13If you let me speak to him, I think I can plead my case a little more directly.
11:18You know what I'm saying?
11:19He just went to lunch.
11:20It's externing.
11:21What time is it where you are?
11:22Tell her it's the Bean-O.
11:24Oh, it's her nickname for me, you see?
11:26Yeah.
11:27Oh, she did.
11:28I see.
11:30Yeah.
11:30I wouldn't really call it a rampage.
11:32I think that's a bit severe.
11:34Yeah.
11:34No.
11:35My name is Bean.
11:37Yeah.
11:37As in has been.
11:41As a thought experiment, what would it take for me to finance this whole endeavor myself?
11:49Uh.
11:50A miracle?
11:51Why?
11:52Could you explain?
11:53Well, there's a lack of incoming funds, but you've still got your expenses, your mortgage,
11:57your maintenance fees, the alimony.
11:59Yeah, I get all that.
12:01What can I put my hands on right now?
12:02What's liquid?
12:03I mean, I could mortgage the apartment?
12:05Could I?
12:06Are you familiar with the term upside down?
12:09Upside down.
12:10I'm sorry.
12:11Yeah.
12:11But I suspect you're using it in some arcane financial context.
12:19I can't do it.
12:20I can't make, I can't make the show happen.
12:22No.
12:23I've let everyone down.
12:26Yeah.
12:29You saw their faces at the funeral.
12:32They were all aglow.
12:34Their eyes filled with tears.
12:36You know, some of those tears were for Mom.
13:06Well, yeah.
13:08John, not tonight.
13:09I'm not in the mood for nonsense.
13:11No, it's Monday night.
13:13No nonsense.
13:14You're going to love this.
13:16Trust me.
13:18Just can I have one more of these?
13:19Just to get me through the afternoon.
13:22As long as it's with you, you can take the light away.
13:33You can turn the sky to gray.
13:37Give us time to look and find a place where we can't feel alive.
14:07Even in the cold, there's a miracle.
14:16You can turn the light away.
14:21You can turn the light away.
14:26That was one of the new ones.
14:30i'd just like to say a quick word about my favorite uncle richard bean
14:37he made a crazy promise which some of you might have heard about and it inspired all of us and
14:43well it's not a big surprise because he's been inspiring me for most of my life
14:49he's here sitting there in the back uh i swear this wasn't planned but maybe we could get him
14:56to sing something oh he's going all shy no i couldn't i couldn't now i haven't prepared
15:03he's actually sung on broadway
15:22i'm warmed up i wasn't expecting this
15:25brother
15:32i am i don quixote the lord of la mancha my destiny calls and i go onward to glory
15:45oh come on no i can't stop you sound brave you're very kind thank you i'm not being kind come
15:52on
15:52please keep going you sound no great
15:54to dream the impossible dream to fight the unbeatable foe to bear with unbearable sorrow
16:12to run where the brave dare not go to right the unrightable wrong to love your own chase from afar
16:28to try when your arms are too weary to reach the unreachable star sing it brother this is my quest
16:40this is my quest to reach the unreachable star
16:42i will follow that star no matter how hopeless no matter how far and i know if i'll only be
16:55true to this glorious quest that my heart will lie peaceful and calm when i'm late to my rest
17:13and the world will be better for this
17:17had one man sworn and covered with scars still strove with his last ounce of courage
17:30to reach the unreachable star
17:42to reach the unreachable star
17:52you have got to stay
18:01i wasn't sure about this our town thing but last night miranda was so happy
18:09seeing those kids they they were excited i i haven't seen so much happiness in years
18:15yes the fat faces all aglow
18:17none of these kids were fat what does this fat think would be
18:20i don't know it's just how i picture them
18:22the beauty is that by investing in the show we increase the value of the property
18:27so you see jeff the uh loan pays for itself
18:32it's just not possible the mft sits on two and a half acres of the most beautiful land in millersburg
18:37it has to be worth the fortune
18:39it's not about the value of the property
18:40i know what it's about it's about the value that we bring to it it's about what what the
18:44theater can provide to the town you simply have to embrace the power of the art form itself
18:52show him show all right i'll give you an excerpt
18:59i have of late but wherefore i know not lost all my mirth
19:10forgotten all custom of exercises
19:14indeed it goes so heavily with my disposition that this
19:17goodly frame the earth seems to me a sterile promontory
19:24this most excellent canopy the air look you this brave or hanging firmament this majestical roof
19:34fretted with golden fire
19:38why it appears nothing to me but a foul and pestilent congregation of vapors
19:48what a piece of work as a man how noble in reason how infinite in faculties
19:59in form and moving how express and admirable in action how like an angel in apprehension how like
20:09a god the beauty of the world the paragon of animals
20:18and yet
20:21to me what is this
20:27quintessence of dust
20:32man delights not me
20:38anyway that's that's the gist of it
20:47that's the sort of thing the theater can provide what do you think
20:51i want to help i do but we don't control the mortgage on the theater anymore kristin refinanced
20:57a few years ago you must know this john you do the books well i i write the checks every
21:01month but
21:02you know sometimes the names on the checks don't always match the payee no i don't know that well
21:08but you know what i'm talking about i'm sometimes it's a numbered corporation or uh bernie who sells
21:14us our meat he likes the checks made out to cash wow that is just terrible accounting not knowing who
21:19you're paying is just so tell me who who who owns the mortgage now i don't know
21:23yeah well uh we're artists we know nothing we're idiots it must be chase it must be chase no i
21:31do
21:32remember kristin she was looking for a better rate and she's very smart about that stuff i'm sorry
21:37fine it's just the way it is you can't compete with the mega banks no no no we understand uh
21:43thank
21:43you thank you for your time thank you for the show i don't really know shakespeare that was shakespeare
21:48right it was just it was very moving oh well thank you yes i'm so i'm so glad yeah good
21:57luck
21:57thank you you just need a theater thank you uh listen i'm gonna ask christian
22:06there's more where that came from folks just come to the theater the millersburg festival theater
22:10eight times a week i hope we'll be there oh for a muse of fire i know i know i'm
22:17late as long as
22:19you have time to work your magic alakazam hey so uh i saw jeff today jeff yeah jeff at the
22:28bank bank
22:29jeff oh jeff yeah yeah i haven't seen him in forever you know that that's what he said
22:35he said they're not servicing the mortgage anymore do you know they're here in an hour and i have to
22:39shower so can we just talk about this later well i was talking to richard and jeff and uh why
22:44were
22:44you at the bank with richard you know you're right let's talk after dinner i gotta get i love you
22:52love you too
23:01oh cucumber and crab bichisois with roasted chili oil and radish that's just the start tell them
23:08what's coming oh it's just my take on flounder mounier i dusted an almond flower and i finished
23:13it off with a brown butter thyme reduction and boiled new potatoes with parsley and chive butter
23:18that's an asparagus with a lemon parmesan sauce and a simple little hondib and tomato salad bon appetit
23:27oh my god that is what they must eat in heaven
23:34what's it like kissing a man hmm i'm sorry what's it like kissing a man in a play when you
23:42are not gay
23:43because i see you in the normal heart and i know you are not the gay man because i read
23:48everything i
23:48read everything but then i see him kissing richard thomas i think he is being gay so well how is
23:56he doing
23:56that how do you how do you do that it's not that hard really you know kissing a man it's
24:02like kissing a
24:02woman only she's a man isn't too hard honored chef uh enough of you slaving away in the bios of
24:11that
24:11jerk joint uh a man of your gifts deserves his own restaurant and a chance at his michelin star
24:18slancho uh excuse me uh jerk joint the mft look your brother is a wonderful cook look he is and
24:28the
24:29food at the theater is wonderful is we can't afford to do this every night obviously do you do your
24:35own
24:36wigs uh no no someone else does my wigs they have a mold of my head so mr boyle connor
24:45connor
24:45kristen tells me that you're the savior of the town no savior richard just a businessman well honestly
24:54there's an opportunity here for redevelopment i can make a wee bit of money as we go along and uh
24:58you know the town gets jobs in return you know capitalism have you heard of capitalism rings a bell
25:04of course richard b knows capitalism did you once not on broadway do willie loma i did yes you see
25:11i am doing the homework in russia we love this willie play because we see the truth of this country
25:20great america to throw out worker like old show you you know my nadia uh she has a heart like
25:27an artist
25:28she's a dreamer you must be a dreamer too i mean you must have a plan a vision for this
25:33whole town
25:34let's just all enjoy this wonderful soup hmm shall we he is one thing to build a casino
25:41a casino i wasn't ready to talk about it yes but you are these days you are talking of nothing
25:46else
25:46casino this well that that is pretty much the truth
25:49yes well connor tell us about it well it's more of an uh an entertainment complex you know with a
25:57shopping center and a four-star hotel and uh three swimming pools oh i hope it's gonna have one of
26:03those uh spouting fountains there where the the lights and the music are all synchronized to the spurts
26:10why not and a five-star restaurant for john to do his cricket really right here in millisburg you know
26:16that came to me when i tasted this fucking suit so we're going to become a casino town the restaurant
26:20for me it's the perfect location it will have a theater it will have a big theater for you also
26:26celebrity acts right big draws you know like uh barry manilow you know someone people will actually
26:34pay money to see did you know about this dream of commerce i did not but it's still it it's
26:41it's
26:41intriguing why not make millisburg a destination for thousands of tourists to spend money and uh
26:46have a good time i mean everyone wins except most people most people lose moranda what she's right
26:52i mean that is how we make money i'm not gonna lie to you i fucking love craps hey who
26:57wants more wine
26:59where are you thinking about where are you building it well i've looked at several you know possible
27:03locations oh yeah and i just bought that old hotel up in uh berry hill the morris that has a
27:09big enough
27:10footprint for the main building morrison is a heritage building it's a landmark mom do you have a name
27:17for this in mind no not yet might i suggest the golden boil okay that's that it's very funny you
27:27know
27:27i could build it right in the heart of things i mean the mft site might just be big enough
27:32i got some
27:33surveying done when i took over the loan oh wait what what what you controlled the loan we refinanced
27:42around two two years ago and mr boyle was was kind enough to give us this theater is our family's
27:49legacy and you sold it to a developer i did not sell it i renegotiated for a very good rate
27:55i mean we
27:57we have to make payments but forget about them just forget about them let them go listen why why
28:04why are you all killing yourselves you know i mean why don't you let me build us a complex for
28:09the a
28:09theater for you and a restaurant for john let me make this as clear as i possibly can
28:15we're not letting anything go the theater is not for sale it is not christian's theater to sell
28:24it's our family's theater we own it okay christian is an employee i am not an employee
28:32you can't say that how dare you he didn't mean that but why didn't you tell me this
28:37what why did that it was when we were putting in the kitchen did you not think i could handle
28:42this
28:42is that what you know it was when we need it we were putting in the kitchen
28:45i know you have that's not what i'm saying i'm really sorry listen to me
28:53can talk to me for a second no i'm not going to talk to you talk listen no you cannot
28:57talk to me for
28:58a second i'm very sorry i don't want to talk tell me richard how are you remembering all those lines
29:08great question great question where's the
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