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Georgie & Mandy's First Marriage Season 2 Episode 14
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Short filmTranscript
00:01Previously on George and Mandy's first marriage.
00:04What'd Missy do now?
00:05I came home from church early and found your sister in her bedroom with a boy.
00:11Were they doing it?
00:12They were trying.
00:13What's that mean?
00:14There were pants on the floor, that is all I'm saying.
00:17So what'd you do?
00:18What do you think I did? I took off my shoe and I hit him with it.
00:29Hey, it's your mom. She sounds mad.
00:31Probably Missy. Hello.
00:34I am so upset with your sister.
00:37Missy.
00:38What'd she do now?
00:40I found condoms in her room.
00:42What?
00:43It is worse. The box isn't full.
00:45What's happening?
00:46What, did you talk to her?
00:47She is at school.
00:49Who's the boy?
00:50What boy?
00:50My mom found condoms in Missy's room.
00:53Yikes.
00:55I don't know who he is.
00:57Well, what are you gonna do?
00:58Ground her? Kill her? I haven't decided.
01:01How about this? You ground her, I'll kill him.
01:04Deal.
01:05Gimme.
01:06Why?
01:07I think I can help.
01:10Hey, Mary.
01:11Uh, if you're okay with it, I can talk to her.
01:14Why?
01:14Well, she trusts me. Maybe I can find out what's going on.
01:17I know what's going on.
01:18There's a three pack of condoms and only two left.
01:22Well, that can mean a lot of things.
01:25Like?
01:27Like...
01:28Let me talk to her and get back to you.
01:30Okay.
01:31Thanks.
01:34I cannot believe this.
01:36Well, at least she was being careful.
01:38Careful is keeping your pants on.
01:41She's a teenager.
01:42It's gonna happen sooner or later.
01:44Later.
01:45I love later.
01:47And when you talk to her, get the name of this guy.
01:49And where he lives.
01:50And if he's bigger than me.
01:53Okay.
01:54One step at a time.
01:55Where did she even get condoms?
01:58Drugstore, I guess.
02:00Really?
02:00I never had the courage to buy them at a drugstore.
02:03Which is why I had to buy a pregnancy test.
02:07Why was she snooping in my room?
02:09More importantly, you cannot tell her I gave them to you.
02:11No.
02:41She's gonna kill me.
02:42Probably.
02:44What do I do?
02:45Well, she doesn't know you did anything.
02:48She knows there's a condom missing.
02:50Right.
02:51So, I guess that means you...
02:54Yeah.
02:56So, out it go.
02:58Over so fast I'm not sure it counted.
03:01Yeah, get used to that.
03:05I'm dead.
03:07Well, I think we have two options here.
03:09We come clean and we hope she understands,
03:11or we lie our asses off.
03:13That one, asses.
03:16Okay, I'll tell your mom that you stole them from the drugstore.
03:20Why?
03:21Well, shoplifting.
03:21It's a distraction, like pleading guilty to a lesser offense.
03:25Smart.
03:26Mm-hmm.
03:26And you were curious how they worked,
03:28so you took one out and you put it on a banana.
03:31A banana?
03:32A cucumber, a carrot, it doesn't matter.
03:34What matters is you weren't having sex.
03:37Right.
03:38Mm-hmm.
03:40I got your back.
03:42Someday I hope I can do this kind of thing for Cece.
03:44What is wrong with you?
03:45No!
03:54You don't need anything else, I'mma head out.
03:57Already?
03:58I work part time for free.
03:59I leave when I want.
04:02Hey, can I ask you a personal question?
04:04Sure.
04:05When Mandy was a teenager, how did you keep boys away from her?
04:09Your daughter craps in a diaper, that ought to take care of the boys for a while.
04:13Oh, it's my sister.
04:15With my dad gone, she's my responsibility.
04:18Yeah, I get that.
04:20Well, when the fellas used to come around and see Mandy,
04:23I'd shake their hands so hard I could see tears in their eyes.
04:27I think I missed my window to scare the boy off.
04:30Oh.
04:31Well, in that case, I find living in denial to be an excellent coping strategy.
04:36So stick my head in the sand?
04:37Oh yeah, deep as you can go.
04:39I don't think I can do that.
04:41You sure?
04:42Got me through finding out that my daughter got knocked up by some dumbass 17 year old.
04:47But now you love me, right?
04:50Check my head, let me show you how much.
04:56You know I don't like gossip, but there's a nasty rumor going around about one of our younger parishioners.
05:01Really?
05:02Um, anyone I know?
05:04Actually, yes.
05:06Mark Delfino.
05:08Word on the street is he's selling marijuana cigarettes.
05:12Everybody knows that.
05:13He's a terrible child.
05:15Oh, you're here.
05:17Hey.
05:18Hey, Mandy.
05:19What brings you by?
05:20She doesn't need a reason to visit her mother-in-law.
05:23That's nice.
05:24How's little Cece doing?
05:25I bet she's gabbing up a store.
05:27Oh, yes, she is a real chatterbox.
05:29Okay, bye.
05:31What have you got?
05:32It's not as bad as you think.
05:34There was no sex.
05:35Oh, thank the Lord.
05:39Wait.
05:40Why then was there a condom missing?
05:44Oh, well, you're gonna laugh.
05:47Um, she was curious, so she took one out and she put it on a banana.
05:53That's what she told you?
05:55Yeah.
05:57And you believed it?
05:59You don't?
06:00No.
06:01That is the stupidest story I've ever heard.
06:04No, it's a good story.
06:05It's very plausible.
06:07Oh, and she stole them from the drugstore.
06:11Well, that part I buy.
06:14What are you gonna do?
06:16I am gonna put the fear of God into that girl is what I'm gonna do.
06:21Well, what exactly does that entail?
06:23Well, for starters, I'm gonna ground her, take her door off her bedroom.
06:28That should do it.
06:29Then I'm gonna sit her in front of the TV and make her watch videos of childbirth.
06:33Try and find some big-headed babies.
06:38Wow, you've really thought about this.
06:40Every day for 16 years.
06:47Oh, Cece's getting cuter by the day.
06:50You know, when she was born, she was bald and chunky like Jim.
06:53But now she's all me.
06:56Hey, Mom.
06:57Need the phone.
06:58In a minute, I'm talking to your Aunt Louise.
07:00Okay, this is important.
07:02Well, so is this.
07:04It's Amanda.
07:05Aunt Louise says hi.
07:07Oh, let me talk to her.
07:09Hi, Aunt Louise. Bye, Aunt Louise.
07:11Amanda!
07:12Yes, I know. I'm terrible. I'll be right back.
07:17Hello?
07:18Hey, she didn't believe the banana story, which is crazy because it's so good.
07:22Melissa Cooper, where are you?
07:24I gotta go.
07:25Oh, but she did believe you stole it, so run with that.
07:33What was that all about?
07:35Oh, I'd rather not say.
07:37Amanda.
07:38Missy got caught shoplifting.
07:40I believe it.
07:43Who is the boy?
07:45There is no boy.
07:46Was that him on the phone?
07:47No.
07:48You had better start explaining yourself.
07:51Why?
07:51You're just gonna tell me I'm going to hell.
07:53Well, sex before marriage is a sin.
07:56You did it.
07:57And God punished me with a disrespectful daughter.
08:01I'm not talking about this.
08:02But you'll talk to Mandy?
08:04Yes.
08:05She listens.
08:05It doesn't lecture me.
08:08Did she know about this?
08:14This is salt.
08:17Hello?
08:18Huh?
08:19Salt.
08:19Oh.
08:21Sorry.
08:23You okay?
08:25Yeah.
08:25Fine.
08:27Here's some good news.
08:28I may buy a trombone.
08:31How is that good news?
08:32I don't own one and now I might.
08:34Anyone else lost?
08:38I'll get it.
08:41Hello?
08:42She's headed your way and she's pissed.
08:44Hang on.
08:47Why didn't you tell her?
08:48I'll get it.
08:50Hey, we're eating dinner.
08:52Don't be rude.
08:54You're on the phone.
08:56I thought my trombone news would have made a bigger splash.
09:02Where is your lying wife?
09:05Can you come back later?
09:07We're having dinner.
09:13Mary, I know you're mad.
09:15Oh, I am way past mad.
09:17I am ticked.
09:21About what?
09:23You don't know about this one giving your sister condoms?
09:27What?
09:27How could you do that?
09:28She's just a kid.
09:30Should we give them some privacy?
09:31Shut up.
09:34What were you thinking?
09:35She was thinking that it was her place to make decisions about my daughter.
09:39Hey, she came to me.
09:41Then you lied about it?
09:42What?
09:42Only because I didn't want to get her in trouble.
09:44Or get me in trouble.
09:47You?
09:48Stay away from Missy.
09:53Wow.
09:54I've never seen her so upset.
09:56She ain't the only one.
10:00Whoa.
10:01I'm with Mary on this.
10:03Whoa.
10:12Are you avoiding me?
10:13I'm trying.
10:15Okay, listen.
10:16Missy was talking to me about this guy she's seeing.
10:18It was starting to get serious, so I wanted to make sure she was safe.
10:21Did you try telling her not to do it?
10:23If anybody had told you that, would it have worked?
10:26That's different.
10:27I'm a guy.
10:28So, it was okay for you to have sex in high school, but not the girls you were with?
10:33Yes.
10:35And I, for one, was disappointed in their lack of self-control.
10:40I'm sure they were disappointed, too.
10:43This ain't about me.
10:44This is about you keeping secrets.
10:46You honestly want to know about your sister's sex life?
10:49No, but I need to.
10:50She's my responsibility.
10:53Fine.
10:54She's been seeing this guy for a while.
10:56She really likes him.
10:57They've been fooling around, mostly over the clothes stuff.
10:59You're right.
11:00Don't want to hear it.
11:02Which is why I was handling it.
11:04She's my responsibility, too.
11:06My mom don't see it that way.
11:08Well, then you need to make her understand.
11:10I ain't taking your side in this.
11:13You have no choice.
11:14I'm your wife.
11:15So I don't get to decide the side I'm on?
11:17No, the side was decided and the side is mine.
11:21What about the boy?
11:22Can I at least kick his ass?
11:23Should my brother have kicked your ass?
11:25Connor?
11:26Please.
11:29Like I had time to beat up every guy Mandy had sex with.
11:36So just because I'm married, I'm supposed to tell my mom she's wrong?
11:40You can't go against your mom.
11:42What about my wife?
11:43Dude, you only get one mom.
11:44You can have tons of wives.
11:47Seriously?
11:48Fine.
11:49Two.
11:49Three.
11:50Tops.
11:50Maybe four.
11:51You started young.
11:53Since you have nun wives, maybe pop down.
11:57What would you do?
11:59Rule of thumb.
12:01If you have to pick between two women, always pick the one you sleep with.
12:05Aw.
12:05You can only sleep with one woman?
12:07I sleep with several.
12:10No, you don't.
12:10I could.
12:12So you always side with Mrs. McAllister over your mom?
12:16Exactly.
12:17You know, I've never met your mom.
12:20Exactly.
12:22Well, I'm not cutting out my mother.
12:24I want her and Mandy to get along.
12:26I really could.
12:31I have tried so hard to raise Missy with good Christian values.
12:36Not your fault.
12:37Kids these days are faced with all sorts of temptation.
12:40Tell me about it.
12:41Just the other day, I saw a music video about a man who liked big butts.
12:46Lord.
12:47He was honest about it.
12:50But it's still very troubling.
12:52And Mandy's not helping, making Missy think that this kind of behavior is acceptable.
12:57Well, we'll continue to pray on this.
13:01Thank you for listening.
13:03God didn't give me these just for holding up sunglasses.
13:12Hey, Georgie.
13:13Shh.
13:14I don't want my mom to know I'm here.
13:16What's going on?
13:17She's mad at Mandy.
13:18I'm caught in the middle and I'm hoping you can smooth things out.
13:21Won't that put me in the middle?
13:22Yep.
13:23So what's the plan?
13:24Well, your mother's unhappy that Mandy overstepped her bounds.
13:28I didn't ask for a recap.
13:30I asked for a plan.
13:32Suppose I could sit down with all parties and open up a line of communication?
13:36Great.
13:37Let me know how it goes.
13:39You're one of the parties.
13:40Oh, come on.
13:42Does anyone really think I'll be helpful here?
13:45You're not putting me in a room with three angry women, Georgie.
13:49You're coming.
13:57First of all, I just want to thank everyone for being here.
14:01In a family, nothing is more important than honest and open communication.
14:06No, just start.
14:08I'll start. I don't want to be here.
14:09Well, you should have thought about that before you took your clothes off.
14:13Please let me leave.
14:15Suck it up.
14:17You are so lucky your father's not alive because this would have killed him.
14:21And you wonder why she doesn't want to talk to you.
14:23Mandy!
14:24What? She's making it worse.
14:25No, you're making it worse.
14:27Georgie, let's keep it civil.
14:29You're right. I should take a walk around the block and sit.
14:33The reason we're here is not to rehash the past.
14:37What's been done is done.
14:38It's for y'all to find a way forward as a loving Christian family.
14:41This isn't fair. Georgie had sex in high school. No one crazy.
14:45Hey, I was not happy about that, but at least he married her.
14:48I wasn't talking about Mandy.
14:51Hey, how did I go so wrong with my children?
14:54Oh, well, if it makes you feel any better, Sheldon will probably die a virgin.
14:58That is not true.
15:00When the time is right, he will find a wife and have a beautiful family.
15:04Oh, come on, Mom.
15:07Just leave Shelly out of this and you stay away from Missy.
15:11It's not her fault I asked her for help.
15:13Yeah, because she couldn't come to you.
15:15Why? Because I have values that you think are a joke?
15:18I don't think they're a joke. I think they're unrealistic.
15:21Teenagers have sex.
15:22Excuse me, most save themselves for marriage.
15:26Most.
15:27Many.
15:28How many?
15:30The point is abstinence is cool.
15:34Missy, I hope you understand your mother is just trying to keep you safe.
15:37So was I.
15:39I'm talking about her soul.
15:40And I'm talking about her not getting pregnant.
15:42There is only one sure way to not get pregnant.
15:45Being Sheldon's future wife.
15:46That's enough out of you.
15:48Really? You're on Mom's side?
15:49No, I'm...
15:51I'm on Mandy's side.
15:53Is that so?
15:54Seriously?
15:55So you're okay with your wife giving your sister prophylactics?
16:00Yes.
16:01Just to be clear, that's what old people call condoms, right?
16:04Right.
16:05Then yeah, I guess I am.
16:07Georgie!
16:07Hey, I don't like the idea of her doing stuff with boys either.
16:11It's not boys, it's just boy.
16:13What's his name?
16:14Nice try.
16:15See? She can't talk to me because I just want to kick this kid's ass.
16:18She can't talk to you because you're just gonna pray at her, so it's good she's got Mandy.
16:21She can always talk to me.
16:24I'm being serious right now.
16:26So if you're gonna be mad at Mandy, then be mad at me too, cause we're a team.
16:30Done.
16:31Can I leave now?
16:32This meeting, yes.
16:35Your room, not for the next 20 years!
16:42I know we may not have solved everything, but I think we made some progress.
16:47Abstinence is cool.
16:48If you'd ever tried it, you'd know.
16:51Oh, Mary, that was uncalled for.
16:55But we were all thinking it.
17:09You can't do that here.
17:11It's okay, officer, we're married.
17:13Then go home.
17:14Sorry, um, he took my side over his mother's tonight and I couldn't keep my hands off him.
17:21You took her side?
17:22Yes, ma'am.
17:25Then knock yourselves out.
17:27No.
17:29No.
17:31No, no, no, no.
17:42No.
17:43In his defense, he did warn us.
18:16In his defense, he did warn us.
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