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00:00I'm going to be talking about how God freed me from a severe porn and masturbation addiction.
00:09Hey guys, welcome or welcome back to my YouTube channel. I have a very serious video today.
00:15I'm going to be diving into some pretty serious topics. So maybe if like you're
00:22and the volume's loud, I mean, I still think it's good for everybody to hear,
00:26play it out loud if that's what you're into. But I still think young children should hear this,
00:33but maybe if you don't, if you have young children, you don't want them hearing this
00:39kind of stuff. I think they should hear it, but you know, I just wanted to warn you that I'm
00:44going
00:44to be diving into some pretty serious topics here. We're going to be talking about some deep stuff.
00:50So just trigger warning. Not every one of my videos is this way. I just wanted to get that out
00:56of the
00:56way. But I still think you should listen to it. I think this is very important. So if you have
01:00a
01:01minute to listen to me and watch through to the whole thing, I'm going to be saying some things
01:05that I believe are directly from God. I have so many notes. I'm going to try so hard to get
01:11this
01:11into a concise video because I believe what I'm saying is so unbelievably important. So before we
01:17get into the video, I have to quickly, very briefly before we get into the video, 30 seconds,
01:23I have to update you guys on our fundraising. I've been fundraising for the past week until the rest
01:30of the month, trying to raise my entire GoFundMe to help me with my mission of visiting all countries
01:35in the world. If you don't know, I'm a solo traveler. I travel the world on a mission to visit
01:40every single country in the world. We're getting very close. 60 countries left. I believe I can do it
01:45this year, but definitely could use some help. We've been fundraising and every day I've been shouting
01:50you guys out, everybody who donates. I believe in the last day, we've had three people donate.
01:57We've officially raised 11K, 606. Thank you guys so much. The entire GoFundMe is 60K.
02:04This helps the 60 countries that I have left to visit this year, that I do am going to visit
02:10the rest of those 60 countries this year. Our latest donator was an angel named Darren Woods.
02:17Thank you so much, Darren, for your $20 donation. I'm so grateful. And Candace Coleman donated $10
02:23and Diana T donated $50. Thank you, Angel, so much. I'm so grateful. If you can donate,
02:31I'll put my GoFundMe down in the description box. Thank you so much for caring. And I think you should
02:38subscribe to watch this amazing journey of us trying to complete visiting every single country
02:43in the world this year. Okay, so without further ado, let's jump straight into the video. I have
02:51so much to tell you guys about. So I am on day seven of a seven-day fast. So I
02:58will break my fast
02:59tomorrow. This fast has absolutely changed my life, my entire life. And God has downloaded on me like
03:07crazy, you guys. Like, oh my gosh. Oh, I've been running out of notebooks, you guys. I just literally
03:13finished. I bought this notebook. I'm basically done it. I've been writing my heart out, not on social media
03:21at all, not doing anything at all, because I feel like God has been downloading on me like crazy. And
03:28we'll get
03:28into later why that's so important. Oh, I just want to give you guys a backstory about where it started
03:35and my story
03:37about my addiction to porn and masturbating. So when I was younger, I was homeschooled. That means I was
03:44literally homeschooled. My, my mom was my teacher. Um, but homeschool, like homeschooling where I'm from
03:51in South Jersey was very popular. I don't know if it still is. So there are all these like schools
03:58for
03:58activities. Does that make sense? For homeschool kids. So I went to a school once a week.
04:07For homeschooled kids. Um, basically it was like an activity thing because you're homeschooled. You
04:13don't really get to interact with like a lot of other kids and like learn a lot of like really
04:18cool
04:18skills. So that basically was what this school was. We only went once a week. I think it was
04:25Wednesdays and basically it was just like an activity school. So like we'd have like arts and crafts and
04:33then like cooking and then like crocheting. That's how I learned to crochet by the way. Um,
04:39or knitting or painting. Like there were different activities so that us as homeschool kids could
04:46learn a bunch of different skills at the same time, interact with other kids. So like I said,
04:51it was once a week and it was only for homeschool kids and it was a Christian,
04:56it was a Christian center. So this was for Christian kids. Um, yes, I was raised Christian and this was
05:04for Christians. Um, so once a week I would go there and I had like a friend group, maybe like
05:13four
05:13girls were my friends. And, um, so basically let's just say your parent was busy and they couldn't pick
05:24you up from school. There was like an aftercare program. So I would go to this after program. I
05:31would go to this aftercare program every Wednesday. So we would have our little school, it would be
05:37like five or five or six classes, maybe cooking. And then maybe you'd go to Spanish and then maybe
05:44you'd go to arts and crafts, you know what I'm saying? And then you would go, if your parent didn't
05:50pick
05:50you up immediately, you would go to an aftercare program. And I was always at the aftercare program,
05:56um, for kids that your parents can't pick you up immediately after school. So my whole friend group
06:03was in this aftercare program. And basically we would go to like this little, it was actually like,
06:10you know how when you grow up and you notice things and you're just like, that is so weird. But
06:16basically the aftercare program was like in this little, I don't even know what that was. It was
06:23like a little, it was not in the school itself. It was like a little, I don't even know what
06:29to call
06:30it. Annex maybe. It was a little house kind of that they turned into the aftercare, um, room for kids.
06:42But the thing was, we weren't supervised at all. There was absolutely no supervision. There was no
06:49adult watching over us. It was a bunch of kids just left to themselves waiting for our parents to
06:56pick us up. Oh, so anyways, I remember we would watch movies, we would cook. There was like a little
07:05kitchen. We could cook like ramen noodles. We can make tang. Um, and we could watch, we could go
07:13downstairs in the basement and watch anything we wanted. There was a computer with internet and
07:17there was a TV. Very bad idea. So me and my friends would always go downstairs and totally unsupervised,
07:26totally unsupervised. We would watch all kinds of crazy mess on the internet. You guys, oh my gosh,
07:35the crazy stuff we would watch. Oh, it was just vulgar. So I remember one day, um, everybody
07:44was crowded around the computer at this aftercare program. All kids, all kids. We were all kids.
07:51Um, and I'm like, what's going on over there? So I walk over to the computer and there's porn
07:57on the TV. And this is like my first real time. I mean, on the computer, this is like my
08:03first
08:03real time seeing explicit porn, like, like for real, for the first time I was, I think
08:1011, maybe 11 years old. And so I'm like, what is this? And my friends, they're laughing.
08:18They're like, you don't watch porn. Like this is porn. You don't watch it. And I'm just like,
08:24no, what in the world? Um, but basically long story short, one of my friends, one of my girlfriends
08:31was like, yeah, so basically you watch porn and then you masturbate and it makes you feel really
08:37good. And she's like, adults do it all the time. And she told me, she was 11 also. She told
08:44me that
08:44she saw her parents masturbating all the time. She said she would see her dad do it and she would
08:51see
08:52her mom do it like separately. So she's like, I know exactly how to masturbate. I don't want to get
08:57too graphic here. But basically she told me that. And she's like, I can show you if you want to.
09:04And you guys, I want to put a disclaimer, please. This is one reason I wanted to make this video.
09:10If you are a parent, please listen to me. Watch your kids like a hawk.
09:19Watch your babies. Don't let them linger anywhere. Take them to school and take them home. If you can't
09:27take your kids home immediately after school, drop them off at a trusted family member. That's even
09:33sketchy, but I don't know. Take care of your babies. Please do not prioritize working over taking care of
09:41your kids. You guys, this is a problem. The amount of kids that just left to themselves and the devil
09:49is just eating them up. It's a problem. You guys, it is a big problem. So we were totally unsupervised
09:58for hours on every Wednesday. So basically my friend told me that she saw her mom and she saw her
10:08dad
10:09masturbating several times. And so she said, I can show you. And I had three other girls that were
10:15basically there with us. And she showed all of us how to masturbate. All of us girls, all of us
10:23young,
10:24precious babies. And she told us, she knew everything. I mean, this girl was only 11 years old,
10:33but absolutely thorough in what she was teaching us. And basically, I believe that day is the day
10:43that the spirit of lust, the spirit of masturbation, the spirit of porn jumped on me. I was totally
10:50addicted. We would do it every single Wednesday. We would go to school. After she showed us every
10:56Wednesday, we would go downstairs. We'd have our routine. We'd eat upstairs. We'd go downstairs,
11:01watch porn, and masturbate. Every single Wednesday. This probably went on for maybe a year. Every
11:13Wednesday, no matter what. And we're in a Christian school, you guys. We're all 10, 8, 9, 10, 11 years
11:20old.
11:23So anyways, so that went on for a long time. I got completely addicted, totally addicted,
11:31totally out of control addicted. And I met several other kids in my life who were doing the same
11:39thing. So it became like this normal thing. I never thought it was normal. I always knew it was bad.
11:45Like from the beginning, I knew it was bad. But it was normal because I met so many different kids
11:50that were doing the same thing, that were watching porn and masturbating. And so
11:56I guess it was like they're watering the seed. And I went to an entirely different school as well.
12:02Later in my life, I was only homeschooled until the seventh grade. In the seventh grade, I attended
12:09a school, a Christian school, by the way. I've only ever gone to Christian schools.
12:16I'm not knocking Christian schools, by the way. I just believe that it's good context. So I go to an
12:24entirely different Christian school. This is way later in my life. So I was in the seventh grade.
12:28How old does that make me? 13? 14? No, 13? However old you are in the seventh grade. So I
12:38go to an
12:38entirely different school. Boom, we leave that school. Again, I'm in an aftercare program at this school.
12:46So this was a real school. It was a real Christian private school. And after school, I would go to
12:54the
12:54aftercare program almost every single day. So aftercare, if you guys don't know what aftercare is,
13:01it's, let's just say you can't pick your kids up at three when school's over. Your kid can go to
13:06aftercare where they will sit in a room with a supervisor and they will just be watched until your
13:12parent can actually pick you up. So I was in an aftercare program at this school as well. And
13:20there were these two girls who would watch us almost every day. They were sweet as pie, sweet as pie.
13:27And they were like older girls. So like we all looked up to them. I was in middle school. So
13:33like
13:34these girls were like high school and like they were just so cool. Like we just thought they were the
13:39coolest girls in the world. And they worked as our supervisors at aftercare. And I would be at
13:45aftercare for like seven, eight hours every single day because my mom couldn't come get us. She was too
13:51busy. By the way, there's no hate. I'm not pointing fingers. I believe this was the devil's work. I'm not
13:57blaming any human. Okay. But this is why I want to emphasize watching over your precious babies.
14:04Be on them kids. If you have kids, be on your kids like a hawk. Don't leave them to the
14:10world
14:11because the world will eat them up. You have to protect your babies. We're like, oh my gosh, they're
14:17just the coolest girls. Like they couldn't have been any cooler. We were so obsessed. They were these
14:22older girls. They were high school girls. We looked up to them. They were really pretty. They were really
14:28grown vibes to us. You know, we were in middle school. So we talked a lot to these girls. I
14:33mean, we would
14:33talk for hours and hours and hours because nobody had anything to do. These two girls had to watch us.
14:40It was their job and us meaning all the kids in Africa. So we talked for hours. And I remember
14:47they both had boyfriends and they would talk about their boyfriends a lot, a lot. Like 90% of the
14:54conversation was about their boyfriends. And I was like, that's so cool. You have a boyfriend. Of course,
14:59I'm like the seventh grader. I think they're so cool. And I'm like a boyfriend. Oh my gosh,
15:04it's so cool. And I remember one day, one of the girls brought up that her boyfriend doesn't please
15:10her. She said, my boyfriend doesn't please me sexually. Like she said, she's planning. This was
15:18the devil planting seeds in my head. She said, I remember verbatim. She said, guys don't really
15:26know how to pleasure girls that well. So she said, I masturbate all the time because he doesn't know
15:35how to make me feel that good. And so there's another girl. They're talking to middle school
15:40kids, by the way. The other girl chimes in and she goes, oh, me too. Like I always masturbate.
15:46It's the only way that like I can actually feel good. And she said to me, you have to be
15:52so careful,
15:53you guys with our words. We have to be so freaking careful because you're planting seeds in people.
15:59She said to me, oh, same. I always pleasure myself because men just don't really know how
16:05to pleasure women that much. We have to do it ourselves. So she said, I have, I watch porn and
16:12I masturbate all the time. Even though I love my boyfriend, he just doesn't know how to satisfy me.
16:20That's another plant. Like all these people are planting seeds, planting seeds. So that's where
16:26those girls left it. It never got more explicit than that, but they did have sex toys. They did
16:33show me their sex toys, but nothing ever became physical like them showing me anything or doing
16:39anything. But they talked a lot about it. And basically these were all seeds that were being
16:46planted in my brain, um, strengthening this addiction, this curse on my life, this spirit
16:55on my life. Um, and it didn't help that I talked about this in another video, but I also was
17:03being,
17:04this is how I said this video is going to get a little bit deep, but I was also being
17:08touched
17:08by family member, uh, family members. This is why I'm telling you guys, please watch your freaking
17:16kids, bro. I'm getting, you guys, I'm not mad at anybody, but the devil. I'm really not, but please
17:25watch your freaking kids, protect them. And don't trust anyone around your babies. Don't trust anyone
17:34around your babies. I don't care who it is. It doesn't mean that you project on people and you
17:40think everybody's evil. No, I'm talking about protecting your babies. Make sure you know who
17:48they're around. Make sure you know who's who, if they ask them questions, say, is anybody doing
17:53anything inappropriate? Teach them about what is okay and what is not okay. Don't leave. I don't care if
18:00it's your closest uncle cousin. I don't care who it is. I don't care if this boyfriend you trust
18:05so much. Don't leave them around your babies. I don't care if it's your favorite uncle, your favorite
18:10whoever. I don't care. Do not trust anyone around your babies. It is your responsibility to protect
18:16these kids. Don't leave them to the world fighting for their life by themselves. I'm not mad at anybody
18:25but the devil, by the way. So anyways, I was being harassed by family members at the same time. So
18:36I mean, I just can't even describe
18:40my childhood. It was what I would describe hell. But one thing, one amazing thing about the life that
18:48I live today is how God always was with me. He always told me he was going to get me
18:53out. He's like,
18:54hold on, baby girl, I'm going to get you out of this. Hold on, baby girl, I'm going to get
18:57you out
18:57and I'm going to pay you back. I never ever didn't ever think that it wasn't wrong, by the way.
19:05I
19:06always knew. Humans know right and wrong. I knew that it was wrong. But I think my addiction had way
19:12passed me. Like I just justified it to no end. I'm like, well, at least I'm not doing the real
19:20thing.
19:20I know people who are doing like, who are actually having sex. At least I'm not doing that.
19:24So where does deliverance start? So one day I was at church and a girl gave her testimony
19:31and she recommended a book that I bought. It's called, it's an amazing book. If you guys want
19:37to get it, it's called The Porn Addiction or The Porn, what is it called? I'll put it on the
19:43screen.
19:43It's by a guy named Matt Fradd. Amazing book. She recommended that book. This is the first,
19:50this is why I'm speaking out about it because I don't think things get broken until we step up
19:55and speak about them. Somebody's got to talk. So there was this girl and she said, and I didn't
20:02hear a lot of girls talking about porn addiction. So my ear was immediately like, oh. So she said
20:09that she read the book by Matt Fradd and she started speaking about her testimony about
20:14porn addiction, about, um, being harassed and touched in her childhood. And it resonated with
20:21me immediately, immediately. I was like, oh my gosh, oh my gosh, no way, no way, no way,
20:28no way. Somebody's talking about this. And, um, I also read a book, one, another book that
20:33has been amazing, um, for my journey of getting free is this book, Your Story Has a Villain.
20:40This is about spiritual warfare. Amazing book for getting free from spiritual strongholds,
20:46curses, bloodline, curses, all that kind of stuff. So, um, so yeah, she was talking about
20:54it and she said that it's a, you think you're dealing with this, like, just addiction of your,
21:00you just want pleasure. No, you're dealing with a spirit. And that was the first time
21:03that this addiction got personified, not personified, but I never heard it named like
21:09it is a spirit. Like I had never heard that before. I had never thought about, oh, it's
21:14a spirit. Like it's actually a spirit on me. And immediately when she said that, I was like,
21:20oh my gosh. And she said, you're not fighting self-control. You're not just like sitting here
21:26fighting your, oh, I just want pleasure. You know, you're fighting a demon. You're actually
21:32fighting a, a, a thing that is attacking you. And immediately I was like, I started crying.
21:39I started being like, oh my gosh, this makes so much sense. This makes so much sense. Is
21:43this why it's so hard for me to quit? Is this why this thing is so strong in my life?
21:47Is
21:47this why this thing has been with me for 10 plus years? Is this, it made so much sense.
21:53So, um, you know, I try to put a bandaid on it at first. I was just praying like, God,
21:58let help me get rid of this thing. And then I've tried, tried, tried, tried to just stop.
22:05And like, let me tell you guys something. You can't overcome by just your own will.
22:10Ooh, let me find inside of me the willpower. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Some things
22:17have to be dealt with properly. And one thing that scared me, the lady said, and I also read
22:24in this book, and it's very true. The thing that scared me the most and made me step up
22:30with dealing with it is I learned that the things you don't deal with in your life, the
22:36things that you do not face and fight, it has a legal rights to go to your children. We learn
22:42in the Bible that strongholds, addictions, spiritual warfare, spiritual bloodline curses,
22:49uh, your, your own mess that you deal with in your life legally is allowed to go to your
22:55children. Um, if you don't deal with it, this is spirit realm stuff. I told you guys we're
23:00getting deep in this video in the spirit realm. There's, it's a legal system. Like it's a real
23:06legal system. And so if you reproduce, you have kids, your mess will get transferred to
23:15your kids. It says in the Bible that curses are transferred. Bloodline stuff is transferred
23:20from you to your precious, innocent babies. If you don't deal with it now, you've got to
23:29deal with it. You've got to face and fight Goliath or else Goliath is going after your kids
23:34too. And so that I think scared the, the absolute heck out of me. And I was like, there's no
23:43way
23:43I don't have kids yet, but I do want them. And I said, there's no freaking way my babies
23:49are dealing with this. There's just no way. There's no way. There's no way. So I was reading
23:56so many books. You guys, I started reading everything I could get my hands on. I was reading
24:00all these spiritual warfare books. I read the book of Enoch. I was reading everything I could get my
24:05hands on because I think sometimes my approach to life is like, learn, learn, learn, learn, learn,
24:11learn, learn, learn, learn. The more I know, the more I'll be able to fix this thing. And
24:18I mean, it helped a little bit. I learned a lot in the books I read. Like I learned that
24:24the spirit
24:24of porn and masturbation are linked with other spirits. The thing is when a spirit jumps on you,
24:30they're linked with other spirits. So, um, I learned that the spirit of porn and masturbation
24:37is linked with loneliness, the spirit of loneliness, the spirit of isolation, the spirit of anxiety,
24:42the spirit of depression, the spirit of bad sexual life with your husband or wife. Um, it separates
24:50you from God, having these strongholds, having these addictions, absolutely separates you from
24:56God. And some people don't believe that anything can separate you from God. Once you say, God,
25:00I love you. And I believe in you. Not true. Not true. There's no evidence for that in the Bible.
25:05We see Solomon, we see David fall. We see, um, uh, we see, uh, what's his name? Samson.
25:15Absolutely. You can be separated. Absolutely. Um, so I learned that this addiction, this spirit I'm
25:25not dealing with is separating me from God. Uh, and I learned that it's hindering God's voice. So
25:31it's hindering God from getting close to me. It's hindering things from happening in my life. It's
25:36hindering good relationships in my life. It is making me lonely because the spirit of loneliness
25:41comes with it. It's making me isolated. The spirit of isolation comes with it. It's making me
25:45anxious. The spirit of anxiety comes with it. And it's making me depressed. The spirit
25:49of depression comes with it. And the thing is, we just lay back in life and we act like there's
25:56not all this stuff we got to deal with. We just act like everything's a coincidence. I'm
26:01just depressed. I'm just anxious. And we do nothing about it. We might say, we might throw
26:06a little prayer up to God. I got revelation about that too. Um, we might throw a little prayer
26:13up to God. Don't mean he's listening. Um, there is a verse in the Bible. I think it's Matthew
26:2117, 21, where Jesus, uh, the disciples came up to Jesus and they were trying to cast out
26:27demons, which they usually could do out of these people. And they came to Jesus cause they
26:32couldn't cast out these demons. And they said, Jesus, why can't we cast out these demons out
26:36of these people? Like what's going on? And Jesus said, some demons only come out with prayer
26:41and fasting. You see where I'm going here. So basically I learned through all the studying
26:48I was doing that it is a spirit. I believe the spirit jumped on me when I was little.
26:53I believe the spirit had been with me for years and the spirit did not want to leave.
26:58Basically, every time you masturbate and you watch porn, you are like marrying the spirit.
27:03It's very possessive of you. It thinks you're married in the spirit realm. It doesn't want
27:07to go. There's no way it's not going without a fight and it has to be dealt with. So, um,
27:12when I heard this testimony, I remember it was a couple of years later and I saw a video
27:17on YouTube of a girl giving her testimony about getting free from porn and masturbation.
27:21And when I was listening to her testimony, like, I guess I, I kind of got to a place where
27:27like I'd stop for a year and then it's like, I'd have three months of going back. And then
27:31I'd have like, like, I never actually got free. It was like, I would teeter totter between getting
27:36free and not. So this was during that time. And, um, this girl was giving her, her testimony
27:44about getting free of porn and masturbation. And when she was giving her testimony, I felt
27:50like I had to throw up you guys. Like, I felt like I had to vomit. I got cold. My
27:56vision
27:56got blurry and I immediately knew it was that spirit still in me. It was still in me. This
28:04spirit thing that had never got dealt with, never went anywhere was still very much a part
28:10of me in my life. And I felt like this sensation, like this gross, nasty feeling, like this thing
28:18is living on me. And so I immediately cry out to God and I'm just like, God, what do I
28:22have
28:22to do? What do I have to do? But I think I still attacked it in my own way of
28:28attacking things,
28:29which is just like, God help me. And then I would try my own willpower. So, I mean, it worked
28:35a little
28:36bit. I would go six to eight months without watching porn or masturbating and then maybe once
28:42or twice. And then for me, I, again, like I said, I felt like that, um, was taking care of
28:48it.
28:48And so 2026 starts, you guys, and it's back, like severely back. It was like, as soon as the
28:59year started out of nowhere, severely, like I couldn't go like a day without feeling like
29:13I needed to do those things. And it got to the point where I just was trying to use my
29:20willpower. I'm going to sit here and try to not do this. I'm going to try to use my, I'm
29:26going to try to distract myself. So I have little methods. You'll hear little tactics sometimes
29:30that says get up and go for a walk as soon as you have the urge or go, or go
29:34read a book
29:35or read the Bible or no, like I said, there are some things that have to be dealt with properly.
29:41So I remember praying one time, this was like three weeks ago. I was praying to God and I
29:48said, God, I feel like my prayers aren't like, are you even listening to my prayers? Like
29:54anxiety was coming on me like a freaking, oh my gosh, you guys, I was bombarded with anxiety
30:01like crazy. I couldn't go through the day. I couldn't, I would wake up and I feel like I
30:07couldn't focus on anything. Like, like there was nothing I could put my mind to. I felt
30:14totally anxious, totally scatterbrained. And every day just to get some relief, I would be
30:21masturbating and watching porn. And it was getting to an unbelievable point. And I'm praying to God
30:28and I'm saying, God, do you even hear me? I feel like when I pray to you, you're not even
30:33listening.
30:35Are you're not even listening to my prayers? And here's something, here's something, you guys,
30:40there was truth to that. There was truth to that. Here's what I want to tell you. Just because you
30:46look up and you put your hands down and you go to church, don't mean you have a relationship with
30:51God.
30:52Relationship with God is like, it's in the word it says, work out your, your, your salvation with
30:57fear and trembling. It's a battle, your relationship with God. It's like this everyday thing where he asks,
31:04it's a symbiotic relationship. He asks things of you, just like you ask things of him. And if
31:10you're just living out in the world, any old way, doing whatever you want to do, not listening,
31:14he ain't listening to you. He's not answering your prayers because there's an elephant in the room.
31:20There's an elephant in the room and you're ignoring it. And you're praying to God for more money,
31:25or you're praying to God to make this man, this, this, this relationship you have work at God,
31:31help me in this man. There's an elephant in the room. And basically that's what God said to me.
31:38He's like, baby girl, Mary Jane, there is an elephant in the room and you need to fast now.
31:46You need to fast now. Your answer's not on Instagram. Your answer's not on YouTube. Your answer's not on
31:52TikTok. You need to put that stuff down. You need to put food down, stop eating, go on a seven
31:58day
31:58water fast and talk to me. So this was literally a week ago. I'm actually on day seven of the
32:08fast
32:08right now. Immediately, boom. I literally stopped everything, you guys. I shut down the world. I
32:14shut down my travel plans. I shut, I'm always planning my travels. I shut down my travel notepad.
32:20I shut down everything. I'm like, I'm going on a seven day fast. Only water for seven days. And the
32:25first two days were hell. I felt tormented. I felt very anxious. I felt at nighttime, I couldn't sleep.
32:34And I kept hearing God just keep going and keep talking to me, keep going and keep talking to me.
32:38Day three, day four, and day five, you guys. Oh my freaking goodness. That's when God started
32:45downloading me on me like crazy. I literally would sit my, I would put a pillow and sit my butt
32:51in front
32:51of the window here and talk to God for hours. I'm still doing it. It was like God was down.
32:58It was
32:58almost like God was like, I finally can deal with you. Finally, I can deal with you. You know what,
33:07God, one of the revelations he gave me, some of us never, ever go to God about us. We're busy
33:15pointing
33:16our finger. It's this person. It's that person. It's this celebrity. It's that. It's my sister.
33:21It's my mom. It's this. You are a hunk of junk and you ain't never dealing with it. God sat
33:28me. I sat
33:29right here in front of the window and God was downloading on me like crazy. You guys, I had
33:34filled up three or four notebooks. He's giving me all this revelation to you guys. And basically,
33:40God was like, keep fasting. I'm going to put a covering over you. So the spirit can't get to
33:47you anymore, but I need you to keep fasting and I need you to keep talking to me. And I
33:51need you to
33:51fix these things so you can hear me and you and I can have a clean line of communication.
33:57So, oh my gosh, you guys, I can't tell you the power of freaking fasting. And I woke up one
34:04day,
34:04it was day six. I'll cry if I think about it too much. I woke up on day six, which
34:09was yesterday.
34:10As soon as I opened my eyes, I heard God said, I heard God say to me, you're covered. I
34:17start
34:19bursting out crying. This is the first peace I've had in weeks. I told you guys, I've been having
34:25these extreme anxiety attacks of like, oh, like there's just too much going on. There's too much.
34:31There's too much. I'm trying to accomplish. There's too much. There's so much going on.
34:35You guys, let me say something. The world has no answers for you. The world has no answers for you.
34:43Your answers, God has them. And you got to learn how to shut down the world and go connect with
34:50God.
34:52He's the only one that has your answers. And you cannot ring them up like a sugar daddy and be
34:57like,
34:57I need this. Boom. I went to church. So can you do this for me? Like he cares.
35:04Like he cares if you went to church. I mean, he does care. I mean, we should go to church.
35:08But come on. We do these little things like, God, I need this. Oh, I need this. Help me heal
35:16me.
35:16And that's one thing he downloaded on me again. It's like, a lot of us are all telling God,
35:22I need this. I need this. I need this. And he's like, there is an elephant in the room. You
35:28ain't,
35:28you never deal with it. So, and we think that's cruel, but he's God. He's to be feared. And he's
35:38to be dealt with correctly. It's how we have to read the word. Cause we have to know who this
35:42man is.
35:43And Ecclesiastes, I believe it's Ecclesiastes three or three, seven, or is it five, seven? Yeah.
35:50Ecclesiastes five, seven says, talk is cheap. And that hits me like a rock. Talk is so freaking cheap.
35:59It is so cheap. Imagine if Jesus just came down here on earth and just talked, we'd be like,
36:04go somewhere. We were there and listened to him. And his words had power because of his actions.
36:11He showed who he was and what he cared about. You think you could just toss up a prayer to
36:17God
36:17and he's going to answer it like he's some stork? No, there's an elephant in the room. And the thing
36:27is, God is not going to care about all this stuff. It's not that he doesn't care. You try to
36:33get all
36:33this stuff from him. And he's like, baby, you never want to deal with what I'm trying to deal
36:41with you about. So if you got to suffer, suffer. If you have to be tormented through life, be tormented
36:50through life because I gave you the key out, but you won't even come to get, come connect with me
36:55to
36:55get it. You don't care about me. You want what you want so you can go have your life and
37:00do it your
37:00way. You have got to get down, humble yourself and go to battle to get, to keep and have a
37:11good
37:11relationship with God here on earth and to get freed up. So I woke up on day six. God told
37:20me I'm
37:20covered. He showed me he put this protection around me and that the spirit of lust, masturbation
37:27and porn can't touch me no more. I've had no desires. I've been totally at peace with so many
37:33different things in my life. By the way, there were so many things that I was worried about.
37:36So many different things. And most of all, this relationship with God has been restored in me,
37:44which is actually the answer to all of our problems. We think it's the man. We think it's the money.
37:49We think it's the recognition. We think it's the fame that's going to fill the hole in our heart.
37:54No, the hole in our heart is because we don't have a relationship with God.
37:58That's where the hole is from. So the beauty of getting close to God is it solves all this other
38:04stuff as well. I just feel so after this fast, I just feel so at peace because I'm like, God
38:12is going
38:12to take care of it. He knows what he's doing. And it doesn't mean I, he's going to go with
38:18the way
38:18I see you should do things. No, he's going to go with the way he wants to do things. And
38:25that's
38:26called reverence. Something we don't have is reverence where it says, God, I'm not going to
38:31question you because I ain't God. I'm not going to question him. I'm going to trust him. I have this
38:38unbelievable peace about me. And I have this unbelievable sense of like, I know how to fight
38:44battles now. Now, when there's something I'm dealing with, I'm going to go into fasting and
38:49I'm going to try so hard to keep this relationship with God that has to be maintained, by the way.
38:56It's not a one and done. And so that I can always have this clear communication. I can't tell you
39:02the
39:02stuff he's revealed to me, you guys. Oh my gosh. Answers to prayers I haven't had in years.
39:09And I believe that's why the spirit of porn and masturbation came back to me.
39:15She, she came back so strong as soon as the year started because she didn't want this.
39:20That's what. So that's what I have to say. Let me look at my notes and see if there's anything
39:26else
39:27I want to say. I also wrote in my notes, we all run and blame and we run and we
39:33blame and we run
39:33and we blame and we try to seduce ourselves with food, pleasure, scrolling, movies, TV, video games,
39:41sex, a man, a woman. You're running. You're running. Ain't none of that stuff doing nothing for you
39:48because you ain't addressing the elephant in the room. You have a fractured or an absent relationship
39:55with God. You need to get right with God and see if you actually love him because many people don't.
40:01We don't love God. It just sounds good to say so. Love is a battle. It's this everyday thing. It's
40:10this everyday choice. It's this, it's this, it's this active thing that it shows. It shows in your life.
40:20It absolutely shows. And we talk so much. We talk and people, people can see through our crap.
40:30Some of us just talk and talk and talk because we don't want people to actually look at us.
40:35So we think if we just keep talking, then people will hear what we're saying. And it's like,
40:40you're just talking a bunch of crap. That's why Ecclesiastes says, talk is cheap. Let your words
40:46be few, few. Don't be telling people how saved you are and how this you are and how, what you
40:55did
40:55and how you did that and you this and you that and you that. Sweetie. People should just see it
41:05in
41:05your life. There should be, there should be something people see that goes beyond what you have to say
41:10and, and, and, and focusing on others. We have no time. We have no time. I don't want this video
41:19to be
41:19very long. I wanted to be here and to encourage you guys. I believe what I'm saying is so important.
41:24If you know anyone struggling with porn and masturbation, um, please send them this video.
41:31Don't make anybody, if your child comes to you with some kind of, you know, information that
41:37they've been dealing with this, do not get mad. Come to them in love. It's going to solve this.
41:43Protect your babies. Don't throw them to the world. The world will eat them up. The world is waiting
41:48to eat your, your children up. Um, protect them no matter what. I don't even think children should
41:53be on the internet. Like, like literally, I don't think they should be on the internet.
41:57When people put their children on the internet, I'm just like, freaking cool. People are nasty.
42:04Protect your babies. It's your job. Deal with your stuff so your kids don't have to deal with it.
42:09And remember, God loves you, but God is to be feared and revered. Work out your salvation with fear and
42:16troubling. Stop worrying about others. Don't blame others. I'm not mad at anybody, by the way. God had
42:20to deal with me about that. I'm mad at the devil, but there's no person I'm sitting here blaming. I
42:25know who's behind it. And, um, yeah. So I don't want this video to be too long. I love you
42:30guys,
42:31and I hope something I said could resonate with you. I'm always here with you guys, and we have
42:35some fun travel videos, but also you guys know we go deep on this channel as well. So I'm so
42:40grateful
42:40you guys could be here. Um, if you stayed to the end of the video, put in the comments,
42:45God is good. Cause if you really watch this whole thing, you're a real one. You're really
42:49somebody who loves God. You're really somebody who wants to get freed up. Um, so no matter
42:53what you're dealing with, know that there's help for you. You're never helpless. And I love
42:57you guys so much. Bye.
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