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00:12What's Vinny doing?
00:20What's Vinny doing?
00:26No!
00:30What an entrance.
00:31I'm living for this.
00:33Taser in.
00:34We don't talk like this all.
00:36I don't think so.
00:38Oh, here we go.
00:39What is that?
00:40Oh, shut up.
00:41This doesn't look real.
00:43I don't think it is.
00:44A framboisier.
00:45What's a framboisier?
00:47Oh, I knew it!
00:48No!
00:48This looks dodgy, doesn't it?
00:50Does? Why is it dodgy?
00:51This is going to go down so badly.
00:53None of us learn, do we?
00:56Wow!
00:57I hate you!
00:59Must remember that bellend.
01:01This is what everyone came for.
01:03The lamp bells were ringing with me, Mary.
01:06At least the nipples are covered.
01:07Yeah.
01:08It's half the battle.
01:09In the week it finally stopped raining,
01:11we enjoyed lots of great telly.
01:16Flirty banter wasn't as innocent as it looked on Prime Video.
01:19But the Kennedy Space Centre, I think, is cooler.
01:22Because, you know, the Enterprise was only ever a test shuttle
01:25and Kennedy has the Atlantis, which was the real deal.
01:29Are you trying to impress me?
01:30Maybe.
01:32It's working.
01:36Why can't I laugh like that?
01:38Oh, dear.
01:39I'd love to have a laugh like that.
01:40I would love you to have a laugh like that.
01:47A busy week for the boys in blue was making the headlines.
01:51Detectives have resumed their search of Andrew Mountbatten,
01:55Windsor's former home at Royal Lodge on the Windsor estate.
01:58I wouldn't be able to read the news, because if I'll come in,
02:03I'd be like, oh, no.
02:06I wouldn't be telling the people, I'd just be reading it myself.
02:10I was like that yesterday morning.
02:12I went, no way, Ozzy.
02:16No, it's Andrew.
02:20Oh, that was it.
02:22And Ed Stafford was smouldering up the Amazon on Discovery.
02:27I'm heading deep into the Amazon jungle
02:28to visit a people called the Sataremo Way.
02:32I'm on the final leg of my journey,
02:34a two-hour boat ride up the Amazon to reach their remote village.
02:38I've had an off-grid experience when we went to Amsterdam,
02:41and I remember leaving the club at 4 o'clock
02:44and then there was no places open for fast food.
02:48And then the taxi driver said,
02:50yeah, fast food, 10 minutes down the road and that.
02:54Mate, we drove to Rotterdam.
02:56And come back.
02:57That was the most expensive fast food I ever had in my life.
03:09In Manchester...
03:10I tried a new karaoke song the other night.
03:12Shania Twain.
03:14You're still the one.
03:15Still the one that I love.
03:18The only one I dream of.
03:21You're still the one I kiss.
03:24Good night.
03:26Did it go down well, did it?
03:28It did.
03:28The Malones.
03:30I knew it was coming on that night,
03:32so I was at the pub ready and waiting for the karaoke woman to turn up.
03:36Oh, you wasn't.
03:36As soon as she got there,
03:39the bar manager was like,
03:40look, just saying it's Sean's on first.
03:42Because I was there ready waiting for it.
03:46And then,
03:47so I've given myself a new nickname in the pub of Shania Twain.
03:50LAUGHTER
03:53On Saturday night,
03:54the judges were back behind their buzzers on ITV1.
03:58Here you are, Jane.
03:59Oh, lovely.
04:00I know your talent.
04:02Yeah.
04:02Yeah, drinking Old Mouth wine.
04:04Yeah.
04:04Good.
04:05Cheers, Lee.
04:09I've actually missed this on a Saturday night.
04:12Have you?
04:12I was going to go on it once,
04:13and then I chickened out.
04:15Yeah, you did.
04:16I remember you wanted to go on Britain's Got Talent.
04:17I was thinking about saying, what's your talent?
04:19Oh!
04:23In the programme,
04:24a smiley woman came onto the stage.
04:27How are you?
04:28Good.
04:28And your name is...?
04:29My name's Li Wei.
04:30I can't find Taiwan.
04:31Li Wei.
04:32Oh, I like that name.
04:33Right, what you got for me, Li Wei?
04:39No shoes always makes me nervous.
04:41I always think if you're going on here without your shoes on,
04:45it's going to be something crazy.
04:51It's a plant pot.
04:52Ellie, have you got a plant pot like that in your back garden?
04:56I have.
04:57She's not getting in there, is she?
04:58She's too big to get in that pot.
05:01Oh my God!
05:02Oh my God!
05:02Whoa!
05:03Oh, they've got some fire and an assistant.
05:05Come on.
05:09What's she doing?
05:10She's sitting like to a pot running.
05:14I'm a step ahead.
05:15Watch me wear a microphone.
05:17Eh!
05:17Bloody hell, what's she doing here, Li?
05:19Oh, that's dangerous, isn't it?
05:23This is weird.
05:24What's she doing?
05:25I don't understand that.
05:28Oh!
05:30Ah!
05:31Absolutely not.
05:32Oh, she's a barrel tougher.
05:39No way.
05:40Wow.
05:41Do you know what I don't get?
05:42How the hell do you know you can do this?
05:44I don't like it.
05:49Oh!
05:50Oh!
05:51Oh!
05:52I thought that was going to go somewhere else.
05:53Yeah, I did too.
05:57Oh, hang on, there's more.
05:59She hasn't finished yet.
06:00Well, she's got a table.
06:05Oh, she's not going to juggle the table, surely.
06:13Oh, she set the legs on fire!
06:15The table's on fire.
06:16She's on fire.
06:16She set the fucking table on fire.
06:22Oh, my God!
06:25Jesus, I wish you'd win that, love.
06:30The control is wild, innit?
06:31No, if I did what she does, my legs would be so turned.
06:35Like, we need to do this.
06:35This is why you can't skip leg play.
06:37Look at this.
06:37We need to do this.
06:41The table's going to take off.
06:42The table's going to take off.
06:43The table's going to take off.
06:46All right, that's enough.
06:48Is she available to hire for parties or birthdays or...?
06:51I was going to say fireworks night.
06:52Fireworks night?
06:53Bloody brilliant.
06:53You don't need Roman Will anymore.
06:55No, you don't.
06:55You're Catherine Will.
06:56Catherine Will.
06:57You just have her.
07:04She ain't even got a sweat going on, has she?
07:07Or a singe?
07:08That is just such an unneeded talent.
07:11Yeah.
07:11But it's quite impressive.
07:13I remember I had a mate at school that could balance a lot of cool shit on his chin.
07:16And that got him a lot of girls.
07:18I literally can't even hula hoop.
07:20I've never been able to.
07:21Me too.
07:22And this woman can do that with her feet.
07:25Why would I be so useless?
07:29In Wiltshire...
07:30Look, Giles, we've got a new microwave.
07:33Oh!
07:34Oh, Mary.
07:36Look at it going round.
07:37Is that one minute?
07:38Yeah.
07:39It's lovely and old-fashioned, isn't it?
07:40Isn't it?
07:41Giles and his wife, Mary.
07:44That's come to the end.
07:45Tum-ti-tum-ti-tum-ti-tum-ti-tum-ti-tum-tum-tum.
07:48Oh!
07:48That's noisy.
07:49No, it's not quite.
07:50It's too hot to handle, Giles.
07:52Oh, let me...
07:52I'll have to get a little saucer for you.
07:54Let me, because I've got asbestos fingers.
07:56Mary.
07:57I've got asbestos fingers.
07:58Oh!
07:59You see?
08:00My fingers don't mind that.
08:02Oh!
08:04On Tuesday, we were off to the continent
08:07for a brand new competitive cooking show on ITV2.
08:11I've heard about this.
08:12Is it like Love Island with food?
08:14They all get off with each other.
08:16You need to watch this cooking show, because you need to see
08:18how to cook without Scotch bonnet.
08:21You can cook food without Scotch bonnet!
08:24I'm in Barcelona to help launch the hottest new restaurant
08:28in the Meds.
08:29Oh, Barcelona!
08:31We've been there?
08:33No.
08:34It's a rooftop restaurant.
08:35I think that you went with somebody else.
08:37Seriously?
08:38Damn, yeah.
08:39We've never been to Barcelona.
08:40Oh, yeah.
08:42And I'm on my way to pick up the boss.
08:45What?
08:46Legendary chef, Jean-Christophe Novelli.
08:49Oh!
08:49Jean-Christophe Novelli!
08:51I've heard of him!
08:51Yeah, he's a massively famous chef.
08:54Well, he's not to fuck around with then, is he?
08:56No.
08:56And he's recruited a team of hungry young chefs to run the kitchen.
09:00I can make a lasagna.
09:01Yeah.
09:02That's actually really good.
09:03I couldn't.
09:04I've never really made anything exotic.
09:09I know myself, if I were in a kitchen, I wouldn't mind at all
09:13if an angry, talented chef was shouting at me.
09:16I wouldn't mind that.
09:17But young people are all nervous wrecks and they'd all go to human resources
09:21and say, eee, I've lost my self-esteem and I'm going to have to check into a clinic.
09:26They're not resilient enough.
09:28Akito, you're going to be my first edge chef.
09:31Thank you, chef.
09:32Don't fuck it up, Akito.
09:34And on dessert, it's Marta and Tom making a hot raspberry souffle.
09:39Raspberry souffle is probably quite easy.
09:41I want to know what other desserts are doing.
09:43And peach tart to tan.
09:44Tart, tart, tart.
09:46You have to say it quite loudly.
09:47Do you?
09:48Yeah.
09:48You won't get me eating out of them, posh shite.
09:51No, you like a choccy fudge cake, don't you?
09:53When it comes to food, I'm not into bullshit.
09:57Oh.
09:57Any, like, micro herbs or, like, just grass or, like, pebbles on the plate.
10:02The food should do the dog in.
10:04I like this guy.
10:05Tom's a good guy.
10:07He can cook me my dinner.
10:08Do you have a time on the caramel?
10:10No, no.
10:11You don't have a time on the caramel?
10:12That's worrying.
10:13The trick with caramel is stir, stir, stir, stir, stir.
10:17And whatever you do, do not take your eyes off the pan.
10:20Apparently, if you use metal to stir caramel, it crystallise.
10:23Yes, that's true.
10:25That's all good.
10:26Tart cases need to roll out.
10:27Go back to the caramel.
10:28What are you doing?
10:29You've walked away from it.
10:30First error there.
10:32Get back stirring, Tom.
10:34We're in a good place.
10:34How long's that time?
10:35Four minutes.
10:36Is it turns?
10:37Yeah.
10:37I think we're in a good place.
10:38It's burning.
10:39It's burning.
10:41Because it shouldn't be steaming like that.
10:43Do you know what I mean?
10:46Sweet.
10:47Oh, he's smoking.
10:48He's smoking.
10:48Look at that.
10:49Chef.
10:51I can let something's burning.
10:53Chef!
10:53Even Jean-Christophe has noticed from halfway across his restaurant.
10:56Look at that.
10:57Through a glass window.
11:00What's happen over there, Akito?
11:02He's still too busy, Mr. I-know-what-I'm doing.
11:05They're gonna be in the car park in a minute doing a roll call if he's not careful.
11:10This is burning.
11:11Oh, my God.
11:11Never leave caramel.
11:12Oh, yeah, sorry.
11:13At last.
11:14Never leave caramel.
11:16She knew.
11:17Tartan.
11:18What a wanky dessert to give someone on their first day at work.
11:21Seriously.
11:22Like, what a French piece of wank.
11:24HE LAUGHS
11:26Just cleared that up.
11:27HE LAUGHS
11:29That's brilliant.
11:30Calm.
11:31What does he want?
11:31Ice cream?
11:33A chocolate sauce?
11:35You've got to make sure you are a little bit more proactive.
11:37With your pellets, your smell and so on.
11:39Oh, he's getting a bollocking now.
11:41He needs a bollocking.
11:42He's too cocky, isn't he?
11:43I've burnt a bit of sugar.
11:44That's okay.
11:45Taking out my wages.
11:46No problem.
11:47But then, let's go on with it.
11:48OK.
11:49Are you serious?
11:50Yeah.
11:51No, no.
11:51He's got the wrong attitude.
11:52Yeah.
11:57Has he just done that again?
12:00Oh, he's like, here's a fire engine coming.
12:02That's the French fire engine noise.
12:04Fucking brilliant.
12:04Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam.
12:07No, no.
12:07This is okay, chef.
12:08I promise.
12:08Thank you, chef.
12:10What do you mean he's okay?
12:12That's bitter.
12:13There's nothing okay about it.
12:14I'm trying to tell a big man who's got Michelin style.
12:17That's okay, you know.
12:19The problem that I think now going forward is that Marta's going to think that I'm shit.
12:23Yeah.
12:24She might not be far off the market.
12:26I mean, Tom.
12:27Hey, Tom.
12:28We all think you're shit.
12:31I'm going to be honest.
12:32Out of all of that, the biggest question I've got is, why does it need to be in Bathalona?
12:37Yes.
12:39You could literally do that anywhere.
12:52You could literally do that anywhere.
12:53In Leeds.
12:55Oh, is that a new coat?
12:57Look and wear.
12:57That's 39.99.
12:59Was 129.
13:00Down to 69.99.
13:0139.99.
13:02Auntie Margaret's pot round.
13:05Can you zip it up?
13:06Nice colour.
13:07Yeah.
13:07Looks a bit snug.
13:08Well, it's a 12, but that's all the other thing.
13:11Yeah, but you're not a 14.
13:13No, it's because I've got massive bust.
13:15It's because you've got four layers underneath the coat.
13:17That's what it is.
13:19It's the cardigan, the underscirt, the dress.
13:21Can you fasten it up if you want to?
13:22Yeah.
13:23All right, yeah.
13:23It does zip up.
13:24Just a little bit tight around bulbs, but it's all right.
13:26Yeah.
13:2739.99, you can't grumble.
13:28Well, no, you can't grumble for 39.99.
13:29I'm not doing 80 quesps for stuff if you can get something for 39.99.
13:32Yeah, definitely not.
13:32You'd be foolish to.
13:33Right, then.
13:34Right, ta-ra.
13:35On Friday, the right royal scandal had stepped up a gear on BBC News.
13:40There's just so many topics that could be on the news today.
13:43I wonder what they've gone for.
13:45I think there's a bit of a biggie.
13:46He even took wagon on off.
13:49I've never liked Andrew, have you?
13:51No.
13:52When he was married to Sarah, they were a rum couple, weren't they,
13:54from the word go?
13:56No, I know.
13:57And she was dreadful.
13:59Good afternoon.
14:00Detectives have resumed their search of Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor's
14:04former home at Royal Lodge on the Windsor estate.
14:07This is the scandal that we have all been waiting for.
14:11I can't believe it.
14:12Well, I can, but I'm shocked.
14:14It follows his arrest yesterday morning on suspicion of misconduct
14:17in a public office.
14:18Hey, listen.
14:19That picture is fucking timeless.
14:21That picture is chef's case.
14:24The last time this happened was 300 odd years ago with Charles I,
14:28and that was the formation of Parliament.
14:31Oh, right.
14:31Yeah.
14:32What did he do exactly?
14:34Who, Charles I?
14:35Charles I, yeah.
14:36It was like, he was leaking trade secrets to the local paedophile.
14:40Well, the former prince who was released from custody last night
14:44is alleged to have shared official documents when he was Britain's
14:47trade envoy with the late sex offender Jeffrey Epstein.
14:51I mean, to be fair, I was surprised at what he was arrested for.
14:54Really?
14:55Yeah.
14:55Do you want to play the, er, he's officially and strenuously denied everything game?
15:00Every time they say it, we have to have a little drink.
15:02He denies any wrongdoing.
15:04Oh.
15:07There'll be plenty more.
15:08Of course he does.
15:09Where was he that day, Pizza Express?
15:12Do you know what, though?
15:13For him to be arrested, they must have some pretty good evidence.
15:16This is what shell shock looks like.
15:18HE LAUGHS
15:20Released last night, still under investigation.
15:22I think I look like that sometimes when I'm in a taxi on the way home.
15:25HE LAUGHS
15:26They go too fast, you're like this.
15:27I'm going to be sick.
15:29Whoa!
15:30These were the barely believable scenes at Royal Lodge this morning.
15:33The former residents of the former prince still being searched by police.
15:38Royal Lodge being searched!
15:40Happy birthday to you!
15:42They arrested him on his birthday as well.
15:44Oh, yeah, yeah.
15:44It was his birthday, wasn't it?
15:46And if he had to cancel his party.
15:48Are we off to Pizza Express straight from the clink, I reckon?
15:51Because you get a free pizza on your birthday, don't you, if you're registered?
15:54Yeah.
15:56His arrest has resonated with US survivors of the late sex offender Jeffrey Epstein,
16:01who have called on US authorities to hold its citizens to account.
16:05Doesn't that say to America?
16:07Come on.
16:07Pull your finger out.
16:09Yeah.
16:10Give some justice to these girls.
16:12What these victims are up against is an awful lot of wealthy people.
16:18And that's why it's taken as long as it has to get this far.
16:22Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor has always denied wrongdoing in relation to Jeffrey Epstein.
16:26Well, he's not going to admit it, is he?
16:28He has not been arrested on suspicion of any sexual offence.
16:31But then again, you know, he has always said he's done no wrong, so he's nothing to worry about.
16:35Yeah.
16:36That's the thing.
16:37He won't be worried because he says he's done nothing wrong.
16:39Exactly.
16:40And those that have done nothing wrong shan't be worried.
16:43Yeah.
16:43Every time I see anything about the Epstein files and anything in connection, I just think
16:46about it.
16:47I'm like, there's a whole heap of women.
16:49A whole heap.
16:50There's ones that we know and there's the ones that haven't spoken out.
16:54Yeah.
16:54Then there's children in these photos.
16:56Yeah.
16:56That's what I'm thinking about.
16:58Yeah.
16:58I'm just like, oh my gosh.
17:00Oh my gosh.
17:03In Derby.
17:04Grandad had like a proper routine with the way he shaved though, didn't he?
17:07Oh God, it was a ritual.
17:09He had like the bowl, that little stick, put on the brush, put the soap on the brush.
17:15The soap was called Erasmus.
17:17The Sadikis.
17:18A funny word that is, isn't it?
17:20Yeah.
17:20Like a cross between erotic and orgasmic.
17:23Yeah.
17:23You look at it and think, what do I do with this?
17:25Yeah.
17:28That is a weird name, isn't it?
17:30Erasmus.
17:31I don't know why.
17:31I don't know.
17:32E-R-S-M-I-C.
17:35I remember writing it down in that because it used to be on shopping lists as well.
17:40Oh my God.
17:41Erasmus.
17:43Erasmus.
17:43Erasmus.
17:44On Wednesday night, there was something not for the faint hearted on Channel 5.
17:48You will love this.
17:50This is so up your street.
17:51Alex, you love history and you love hospitals because you were a nurse.
17:54I knew.
17:55History of hospitals.
17:56Yeah.
17:56This will be the best programme ever.
17:58I think at the back of my mind, because I'm from a medical background, that's why I bring
18:03you coffee in bed yes and try to keep you in bed only happy to play the role of the
18:09invalid yes
18:15remember when we used to go to thackeray medical museum and you always wanted to go in the room
18:20with the video with that girl having a leg cough we know on a stick the amputation used to go
18:25in
18:25it time and time again i don't know why sicko i want to go again we should take kids traumatize
18:32them like where you are in the program alice was learning about 17th century surgery these are
18:38some actual bladder stones these are real bladder stones look at that one looks huge isn't it it
18:44looks huge it is huge they was all in people's bodies yeah well can you pass one of them in
18:51it
18:51well you couldn't that's what they had to extract them surgically stones forming urine they grow
18:57in a concentrated solution so if you don't drink enough water i'm afraid you get bladder stones
19:02oh i don't drink enough water you know what am i telling you to do all the time two liters
19:08a day
19:08i haven't drunk water i don't think since last week what it was too dangerous to go in the top
19:14because you're too near the bowels so you have to go underneath oh no oh gosh so that was a
19:21underneath where but you're going through the the root of the penis here then you're having to go
19:27through this muscle yeah then you've got to go through the prostate yes oh mate oh with no
19:32anesthetic daniella oh my gosh are you all right there dad oh you've got something like this you've
19:39then got to pull that then got to pull it out oh my god this is so gruesome i think
19:44i'd rather call
19:45it a day natty wouldn't you so you have to feel for the stone and actually you have to listen
19:50for
19:50the stone listen i don't know stones made a noise what you do yeah if you pass that into the
19:56bladder
19:57you might hear it go tink so they've put that down the pee hole yeah ting ting ting like like
20:05and you have to pass it into the urethra and it wants to end up like like that oh no
20:11no no no no
20:12the urethra yeah that is dicing with the devil oh no and then as you start to go down turn
20:19it
20:19around oh there you go right oh oh we don't got a smaller one than that fucking hell oh jesus
20:28so
20:29you're around the that curve and you're in the bladder yeah oh oh
20:40alice your voice has gone up a few notches the surgeon must now feel and listen out for the metal
20:47tool hitting the stone above the screams of the patient oh it's hard to oh
20:54fucking hell she dig it in there ain't she fucking hell how big a hole well they said between
21:00two and four inches oh watch his knackers two and four inches hell is that that big i think this
21:08is
21:08the opportunity we need to thank god for the invention of keyhole surgery correct i'm going
21:12to give you the stone forceps see if you can feel the stone where's that going up
21:17i'm pushing in here oh my god oh can you imagine oh i'm glad you're suffering for a change
21:27oh oh oh my goodness oh no no no i'd rather die has it finished yet mary no don't worry
21:37i'll tell you
21:37when it's over oh my goodness that's it the stone's out it's out the worst is over well at least
21:44men now
21:44know what it feels like to have the perennium's ted without any anesthetic women have been at it for
21:50years all they've had to give birth to is a bladder stone try a seven and a half pound baby
21:55egord when i was getting induced with ralphie they got this metal clamp out
22:02did they use it it was horrible did they use it it was josh went is that medieval she went
22:08haha funny enough and that was up a bigger hole than what this is you cheeky bastard
22:13no i don't mean
22:23in southeast london oh do you know i'm desperate for some meat and two veg i really am is that
22:31is that soothing them for something no sue and her husband steve i've actually thought you know
22:39of having a car free delivered can you do that yes oh yeah when they spill the gravy or
22:47it comes in a carton doesn't it of course it what do you think it comes in a jug well
22:52i don't know
22:53i thought it might have been on the plate no swishing around all your brussels flying around
23:01in a sea of gravy oh yeah get it delivered on the back of a motorbike bring it in put
23:10it on the plate
23:11done oh yeah on monday it was another fella in police custody hitting the headlines on itv oh here we
23:20go
23:20again who's been arrested now and for what epstein's mates are dropping like flies in this country
23:28aren't they yeah i wonder who's next this is the on tv evening news with mary nightingale i can
23:36hear next stars tv they've got the mandelson news on as well no good evening lord mandelson is being
23:45held by detectives tonight after being arrested on suspicion of misconduct in public office it's not
23:52entirely unexpected this news that it was a question of not if but when what is going on in the
23:58world
23:59we've had a royal arrested and a senior lord screw the patriarchy mandelson who was sacked as the uk's
24:05u.s ambassador last september is under criminal investigation oh criminal after he was named
24:15in the jeffrey epstein files that they're not messing around they're putting that out there
24:22just before five o'clock this evening lord mandelson was escorted from his home by two police officers
24:28he's got a right punch on him yeah look at him good that's all the files he's at
24:35it is giving a day trip to the cells that isn't it yeah yeah i bet it's autographed by mns
24:42something
24:42like that a leading figure in british politics for more than four decades tonight finds himself in police
24:49custody oh how embarrassing you know i think he'll be more beetroot the fact that he's getting taken away
24:55and afford focus rather than being arrested but to be fair it is the estate version in a statement
25:00the metropolitan police said officers have arrested a 72 year old man on suspicion of misconduct in
25:07public office well we know isn't it yeah why did they do that we've arrested a 70 year old man
25:12he wears glasses name rhymes with handleson it was emails released last month by the u.s department of
25:21justice that prompted police to open an investigation their investigation is likely to focus on whether
25:28lord mandelson shared highly sensitive government information with the financier and convicted paedophile
25:34jeffrey epstein what it does prove that america is that nobody in this country is above the law
25:40that seems to be the message that they're very keen to put out unlike in america yes and one appeared
25:48to
25:48give advance notice of gordon brown's resignation as prime minister around nine hours before this
25:54market sensitive information was made public yeah that's going to move markets that's going to move
26:00market once that announcement's made yeah i think for me the the saddest thing and the bit that just
26:05makes my skin crawl is the indifference that these elite type people showed towards epstein even though he
26:12was convicted of the crimes he was convicted for the messages date back to when lord mandelson
26:18served as business secretary in gordon brown's government what was he pointing at there shall
26:24i tell jeffrey about that i should tell jeffrey about this shouldn't i yeah lord mandelson resigned
26:29from the house of lords last month noble of him today the government said it was still working on
26:36legislation to remove his title i mean a hundred percent his title should go titles of everything
26:42should go let's go straight to rachel at scotland yard now rachel what do we know about what will be
26:49happening inside where you are right now slopping out it's called slopping out he won't be slopping
26:54out he'll just be chatting to no but there's a thing called slop slopping out nothing as soon as he
26:59gets there you'll have to you'll have to slop out other prisoners waste won't he he will be taken to
27:08a cell in the custody suite and that cell will be very sparse good it will likely contain just a
27:14bed
27:15and a toilet i was supposed to feel sorry for him we need more details mary i don't know will
27:20the toilet
27:20have a seat and will it have hard or soft loo paper ah will it have an air freshener or
27:26a vaponer unit
27:28police will have 24 hours to question him before he needs to be either charged or released pending
27:33further investigation so both those detectives and for lord mandelton himself the clock is now ticking
27:39the cells of england are going to end up looking like madame trussauds with all the like high and
27:42mighty there you know why all these big things are happening in the news this week don't you know
27:48why because we have just entered into the new chinese new year new year of the fire horse only
27:54happens once every 60 years big changes shit's going down in the year of the fire horse is that
28:00why hong kong express has been closed yeah in blackpool hey i've got a new life hack for you
28:08go on so you know how they charge to put air in like screen washing at the garage i've got
28:15a little
28:15trick now pete and his little sister selfie you wait for somebody to turn up right who's just putting a
28:20bit of air in one of their tires right anyway they drive off and it's still running me straight in
28:28i've done two tires worth of air and a full thing of screen wash for nothing for free i even
28:33flashed
28:34they just said come on you go you go i'm like no thank you on thursday night an intrepid explorer
28:44was
28:44taking part in some extreme ways to become an adult on discovery
28:50stop it what's wrong with you he's been drinking outside him no this is our thing that ed stafford in
28:59he's like an explorer sort of thing in he you know what i mean he does some wild stuff i
29:05swear
29:07so how did you go from boy to man i bumped into you oh was that your first experience huh
29:15yeah
29:17if that's what you want to call it i'm heading deep into the amazon jungle to visit a people called
29:25the satareno way that was really good thank you they live on the andira river 80 kilometers from the
29:33nearest city oh that's the middle of bloody nowhere that is buttfuck nowhere yeah brazil's in south
29:38america i thought brasil was its own country i didn't know the amazon was in brasil either that's
29:46quite interesting this community has a unique rite of passage ceremony that involves them putting
29:51their hands in gloves full of bullet ants full of what ants oh ronnie of course they do yeah that's
29:59that's just a normal rite of passage the bullet ant of all insects has the most painful sting in the
30:05world oh no why just why i've been stung by a wasp have you yeah there's no medicine for the
30:18sting of this
30:18sand it's been likened to walking on hot coals oh shit what's this no
30:31oh gee two gloves oh it's the ones are in oh no oh i only thought there was going to
30:36put one in
30:37this is an extraordinary thing to put yourself through why this hand what about his pants
30:44this is why you're not the leader dad yeah you'd make it worse yeah you've literally got
30:49a veteran crying what was he crying crying experiencing a level of pain that i know i have
30:57never felt in my life before oh is it is it like any jenny it's an endurance test isn't it
31:02i sort of get
31:03this a little bit now it's like how much can you take this is it oh oh here we go
31:10he said it's
31:10game time oh god i see you i do it okay it's going to at least he's honest yeah at
31:21least he's honest
31:22right here we go here we go okay go oh my days
31:36i may look composed but the pain is excruciating god he's doing an amazing job though he's looking
31:44composed internally meltdown i think he's trying to put his mind in a different place isn't he
31:51they're coming off oh i feel relief for him
31:56his hands are even red oh they are they've had a good old munch on his hands aren't they oh
32:04they've been
32:04feasting on him ed look at that there's got holes in his hands four hours after the ritual how's he
32:12bearing up all night edgy all night on his back do you think it's all right no he don't look
32:19all right
32:21it's not all right
32:26christ look at his hands left crazy twice a safe
32:34what's still going on eight hours after the ritual he's not so moaning is he it's kind of changed
32:42from burning fire to they've been smashed with a sledgehammer why has he wanted to do this
32:49i just wouldn't go to rome see the eiffel tower
32:54you wouldn't be saying the eiffel tower and romance i mean
33:05in leeds mum fell down my stairs this morning no she's been on about your stairs me and mams
33:13like your stairs off all time do you why sisters ellie and izzy it's because the steps are only about
33:21that wide do you know what they're like that steep she were on her way down my steps as well
33:25to
33:26vacuum my living room gutted so she didn't vacuum your living room then because she hurt her elbow
33:32oh for god's sake she's done half late on thick don't she really left hand or a right i don't
33:38know if
33:38it had been a left then she should have still done it because she doesn't need that one this week
33:43a sexy
33:44twisty thriller had us all hooked on prime video i've heard this might be a bit on the board
33:51side nutty oh no don't say we don't want all these graphic heaving panting people in the nude
33:59i'm surprised you want to watch this with me and not with toby i don't want him getting any ideas
34:04i
34:04can't be asked
34:07i hope you feel happy with yourself
34:17who the hell is that man what's happening oh balaclava man
34:26oh i can hear water yeah telly to be fair sometimes my shower's got a mind of its own and
34:31of treakles treakles something there's water water on the floor and a heater on what's going on here
34:45oh no what is that that ain't a body it is
34:53it's taking photos of it what is going on
35:06is that the fire alarm off what's going on
35:12today
35:15oh they're doing a rewind padders we're going back in time
35:23ah so we're gonna go back to day one
35:40oh
35:41oh i don't need to watch something like this when i'm just trying to date
35:44it's not helpful is it i already know it's not helpful this is why i don't want to date
35:52i got my nasa bag in florida out of cape canaveral
35:59she's definitely caught his eye ain't it i know ain't it
36:04sorry oh bump oh on purpose
36:08i got the wrong drink okay she likes what she sees as well
36:14waiting on her outside anyone else i would have said creepy like him but him romantic
36:22hey nasa
36:25oh nasa your bag uh i like it i like your bag i wonder if it would have said if
36:30it had
36:30primark on the side of it i bet i wonder if it would have said oh i like your bag
36:33you wouldn't have waited for it if it's little or primark
36:36can you name all the shuttles
36:40no i don't think so i'm not that good it's got to be the nerdiest chat line ever i'm oliver
36:46uh
36:46by the way i didn't ask i'm ciara dad remember your ford ciara
36:52that was a lovely car that was yeah and it wasn't long before they swapped numbers
36:59i read about this uh this place that does really good cocktails we get we can meet there
37:046 30 westbury bar don't say yes you'll get melted and be in a bathtub in 56 days see you
37:09there
37:12blind reading the blind
37:16he looks a bit creepy and intense don't he he's giving creepy intense vibes
37:23oh she wrote the name of the shuttles down she said she didn't know
37:31oh i don't i don't like the look of him i don't he looks a bit uh shifty to me
37:36yeah 50. just once man just once i want the asian to be a goodie
37:47well this is quite the bar isn't it very nice i feel right knob there do you have a favorite
37:52cocktail yes yeah sex on the beach bathroom i'll be right back
38:04what's he farming reach trucks for psychotherapy this is an emergency
38:08he's on the phone to a psychotherapist oh wow what's going on here i don't think i'm doing it
38:15again then i don't know what's gonna happen if you don't pick up the phone oh he's doing it again
38:20so he's done it before whatever it is he's done it before what is he like a psychopath and he's
38:25like
38:25i want to not be a psychopath but if you don't pick up the phone i'm going to be a
38:29psychopath he's
38:29calling his therapist help a bit later siara had found a way back to oliver's swanky flat i don't know
38:36what you mean yes you do take off your jacket oh i don't like his tone no what how dare
38:44you
38:48how's he doing it how dare you take it off
38:55hey hey hey hey she's got no liquors on she wouldn't know how this date was going ace
39:06oh i hate watching these things with my parents all right
39:10oh my god why is he doing the worm on her
39:16i remember when dramas used to be like columbo
39:27so she's made it out of there then
39:35oh hello that's oliver's business card that's oliver's business card
39:41i have to see it yeah why is she got pictures of this like on her phone are they of
39:47his apartment
39:49this is getting weirder by the minute teresa
39:56what a shuttle list she's trapped him yeah he didn't trap her she trapped him
40:04i can't do it i don't know what they i'm up to at all now so this before she meets
40:09oliver then it
40:10now again hi i'm sierra wires oh she's she's not who she says she is
40:21that's where she met him she followed him he was already in the shop so she's followed him
40:30oh she her whole plan was to seduce him and see this is why i don't date
40:38enough london you know obviously like i wanted something to eat like before um we start fasting
40:45again at like 4am the quickest thing was the oreo milkshake sisters amira and armani blending it on
40:52the floor on the carpet so that it stops the vibrations and the noise because because then
40:57otherwise dad would have woken up seen that i'm a gluttonous bitch and and and had a go at me
41:04i can't lie i did not feel guilty and at that time of night that's crazy heavy at 4am it's
41:11sitting in
41:11my stomach at 4am and i'm going straight back to sleep going no wonder why my stomach hurt all night
41:17i can't deal with you honestly and you know what's fine i can't be having that much dairy and like
41:23it's it didn't go well on sunday night olivia atwood showed us more risque ways to earn big bucks on
41:32itv2 i mean it'd be nice to be filthy rich but it's how you get rich innit yeah filthy i'd
41:37do out
41:43getting filthy rich from what that's the question mom's the biggest hustler ever isn't it yeah she
41:50is i mean put her out there she would be making money honestly she would be that's a wild statement
41:57to make that way are you trying to pimp out your mom no no not in that way are you
42:02trying to pimp out
42:03your mom that's the maddest shit i've ever heard it's ramadan i'm on my way to exeter to go to
42:11a
42:12distillery where they are making drinks infused with people's knickers what oh you say confused with
42:22people's knickers and now we have the technology to distill absolutely anything without destroying the
42:31flavor what flavors can you get out of underwear money i don't think i want to think about it but
42:38who's ever thought oh i could murder an undercarriage and coke but that that is the millennials drink of
42:44choice now hey hey welcome welcome bar owner and distiller 41 year old george nightingale made
42:51flavored spirits for aldi aldi i've never seen flavor it before he started this he worked for aldi
43:00all right he's come up in the world honey so come on into the distillery here's bill
43:05oh hi hello nice to meet you nice to meet you would you shake their hands how'd you go hi
43:11yeah how
43:12did you get into the alcohol business how long have you been doing this so i've been a publican
43:15most of my life oh don't want to go in this pub do you oh oh back and i thought
43:20who is earning a lot
43:21of money in the world at the moment porn industry prawn no porn the prawns are doing quite well as
43:30well who do you imagine your customers going to be then dirty old men i'm now creating a product
43:38for creators who have already got a following so if somebody's already selling toenails he could
43:45approach them and say do you want to bundle up all your pants from your laundry basket and i'll make
43:49gin
43:50from it but we don't want this to be niche and underground this is a mainstream product yeah
43:55mainstream my black ass i was just so hard to say it's definitely me this well i want it to
44:00be
44:00niche and underground for god's sake yeah but you're not likely to be one of the perverts that goes in
44:06for nappy gin nutty and what does it taste like i mean does it does it really vary well we
44:12did a blind
44:12tasting yeah and we could tell the difference between each one each one what each different star's
44:18content basically so what do you think i could earn if i was to commission a bottle i think it's
44:27not
44:28unreasonable to suggest that we could return you quarter of a million pounds for an item of clothing
44:32what right where is it quarter of a million pounds get your knickers off this is rather uncomfortable but
44:42i've been sitting on my own bra after the last 10 minutes because i just whipped it off on the
44:46way
44:46over here look at him he's just gonna bouncing ding ding ding ding ding but if i could get you
44:51to put
44:51your bra in there for me okay goodbye sweet child i'd put my bra in there why not because the
44:59bras don't
45:00actually have much of a they're quite pure aren't they bras they don't smell of anything so you can see
45:06in
45:06there it's that kind of murky color yeah and then when it comes dripping out here it becomes crystal
45:11clear oh it's just a washing machine we could do it ourselves yeah it's one thing to put the bra
45:17in
45:17but whether or not olivia's gonna actually drink it afterwards that's the real test isn't it coming
45:25hello oh thank you there's the delivery this is the tasting jane it's a gin simon look at that
45:32that's pretty cool isn't that that's more than i was expecting oh it's tiny i thought you was
45:39getting a proper bottle no you're getting a little little smidgen yeah that's a shot okay let's have
45:44a little little try she's gonna drink killer christ almighty oh no mixer
45:57i wouldn't recommend
46:01something feels wrong about that oh god i guess if you were in a relationship you could say i'm
46:08gonna collect his pants for three days and then i could drink it you know it might be quite sexy
46:15if you're in a if i knew whose i was drinking i wouldn't want to
46:22i wouldn't put that on your dating profile to be honest
46:28critics say if this doesn't incite righteous anger over our filthy water then nothing will
46:33scream david thulas and jason watkins new factual drama dirty business now new monday at nine the
46:39survival show where all you have to do is survive someone else jonathan ross hosts the outrageously
46:43entertaining handcuffed last pair standing next night zach polanski goes live on the last leg
46:49you
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