- 16 hours ago
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00:00:05Ah, ah, ah, ah.
00:00:09Tú dices que no me atrevo.
00:00:12Si supieras que yo ando a fuego.
00:00:15Dime que tú juegas y yo lo juego.
00:00:18No lo dejemos pa' luego, no.
00:00:22Que la lucha se fue y la noche llegó.
00:00:27Hey, I want to know if you want the same as me
00:00:32Tell me where we're going after the beach
00:00:36If I don't know where we're going
00:00:37I bring the towel and we're going again
00:00:41But in my bed, I'm going to give you a table of a selfie
00:00:45Tell me where we're going
00:00:52Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome my son Marcelo Hernández
00:01:27Miami!
00:01:35Feels like a family party in this place right now
00:01:38That's how our family parties were, dog, you have to dance
00:01:41You have to dance or you have to find a new family, that's the rule
00:01:45I had to dance, ever since I was a kid I had to dance
00:01:48That's how I had to enter my house
00:01:50If people came to my house, my mom would be like
00:01:53Marcelo!
00:01:53And I'm six years old and I have to leave my room like this
00:01:59And I'm like, mommy, I don't want to dance
00:02:02And my mom is like, yeah, and I didn't want to escape Cuba
00:02:05So dance
00:02:07Okay, I'm sorry, I don't know what that's like, I'm sorry
00:02:10And I would think that I'm doing a good job
00:02:13And then out of nowhere, my mom would be like, no Marcelo, not like that
00:02:16Do what I taught you
00:02:17And I'm like, mommy, please
00:02:20Don't make me get nasty
00:02:23In front of my family
00:02:27And I had to memorize every single dance
00:02:29I was always jealous of the American kids
00:02:31Because American kids don't have to memorize any dance
00:02:35American kids on Christmas, New Year's, Thanksgiving
00:02:38They get to rest
00:02:40They don't have to memorize anything at all
00:02:43American kids live a very free life
00:02:45American kids go, oh my god, I love that song
00:02:48And then they jump
00:02:56And their mom is like, look, Tyler's dancing
00:03:01I'm like, Tyler's not doing anything, dude
00:03:04I had to shake my ass specifically
00:03:08And that's how I grew up
00:03:09You show up at your family party and you dance
00:03:11And then your mom says the most beautiful words that you can hear
00:03:14What's the most beautiful part about being at a family party?
00:03:17It's hanging out with your cousins, right?
00:03:19Isn't that the most beautiful part?
00:03:21Oh my god
00:03:23Something about being with your cousins
00:03:25It makes you just
00:03:27You lose your mind
00:03:30You end up in a part of your house that you have never been to before
00:03:35You and your cousins end up in the AC unit of your house
00:03:40And you're in there and it's weird in there
00:03:42And one of your cousins is like, I have hair, bro, I swear to god
00:03:46I have hair, I don't know where it came from, I have hair
00:03:49Your other cousin, he's weird and he's like, bro, eat the cockroach, bro, please
00:03:55I'm like, what?
00:03:56He's like, eat it, just eat it right now
00:03:57Nothing's gonna happen to you, just eat it
00:03:58I've done it before, just eat the cockroach, just hurry up
00:04:02The parents are getting drunk and the kids are kinda lit too
00:04:04Because we have been drinking Coca-Cola unsupervised
00:04:09We're drinking it out of the bottle tonight, okay?
00:04:11And your cousin's mouth is brown
00:04:14And he's lit up
00:04:15And you guys are in there going crazy
00:04:17And then out of nowhere, one of your uncles comes into the AC unit
00:04:20And he goes, hey Marcelo
00:04:21Just a little bit of whiskey
00:04:22Nothing's gonna happen to you, a little bit of whiskey
00:04:27Come on, a little bit of whiskey, nothing's gonna happen to you, a little bit of whiskey
00:04:29Come on, eat the cockroach and then drink the whiskey
00:04:32A little bit of the whiskey, come on
00:04:36And then somehow, it's 2 in the morning for some reason
00:04:39It's 2am, and at 2am, that's when the parents realize, damn, I have not seen my kid in 9 hours
00:04:48And they want the kid back to the dam
00:04:51Back to the dance floor!
00:04:53And now, it's 2 in the morning, and I'm still 6 years old
00:04:56But now, I want to dance, you understand?
00:05:00Because I've been drinking whiskey, dog, okay?
00:05:04I want to dance
00:05:05What are American kids doing at 2 in the morning?
00:05:08By the way, it's Christmas, okay?
00:05:10Where is Santa Claus?
00:05:12Nobody cares, dog
00:05:15Santa Claus is gonna come when the party is over
00:05:192 in the morning on Christmas
00:05:21What are American kids doing at 2 in the morning on Christmas?
00:05:24Watching Elf, you nerds
00:05:27I am grinding with my aunt, you understand?
00:05:43And she is throwing it back violently, dog
00:05:46Violent!
00:05:48And I'm like, Mommy, why?
00:05:51And she's like, because your aunt is going through a divorce right now
00:06:00And that is not being inappropriate
00:06:03That is supporting your family
00:06:13And that's what I did, I did whatever my mom told me to do
00:06:16If she tells me to grant on my aunt, I grant on my aunt
00:06:18My mom has been through so much that whatever she tells me to do
00:06:21That's what I'm gonna do
00:06:22For example, I have severe ADD
00:06:25Everybody told me I have ADD
00:06:27And I told my mom I have ADD
00:06:28And she said no, so I don't have ADD
00:06:35I don't have it
00:06:36And I feel bad
00:06:37I feel bad that I don't have it because I wanted it
00:06:40And everybody...
00:06:41And it's easy to get, by the way
00:06:43If you want ADD, you can have it
00:06:45You go to a doctor and you go, nah
00:06:47And then they give it to you
00:06:51It takes two seconds
00:06:55Everybody knew that I had ADD
00:06:57I had teachers in Miami that didn't believe in ADD
00:07:01And they were like, Marcelo made me a believer
00:07:06I have it like that, I have it for real
00:07:08Everybody knew I had it
00:07:09And the problem is, I had to tell my mom that I have ADD
00:07:13And when I told my mom that I have ADD, she threatened to give it to me
00:07:19I said, mommy, I have ADD
00:07:21And she goes, ah, you want ADD?
00:07:23I can give you ADD right now
00:07:28And in that moment, I decided to focus
00:07:44And it's sad because I wanted the pills
00:07:47I really wanted the pills
00:07:48Because I know that the pills do something
00:07:51I know that they do something
00:07:52Because I had a friend in high school
00:07:54And his mom let him have ADD
00:07:58And he would come up to me on Tuesdays
00:08:01And he would be like, hey Marcelo, I didn't take the pill today
00:08:03It's no pill Tuesday
00:08:05And I was like, wow, is that how I'm living my life?
00:08:15Every day is no pill Tuesday for me?
00:08:19It was horrible
00:08:20And that's what my life was
00:08:22When I was younger, my ADD was a big problem in school
00:08:25And now that I'm older, my problem with ADD is in relationships
00:08:29You know, with women
00:08:31Because I have severe ADD
00:08:34And I never got the pills
00:08:35And women
00:08:40They love it when you listen to them
00:08:50It's their favorite thing
00:08:52And it's my biggest weakness
00:08:56Women are nice
00:08:57Women do not need you to be seven feet and have abs
00:09:00All women want is for you to listen to her
00:09:02And be there for her
00:09:04And memorize the names of her friends
00:09:06That's all they want
00:09:09You have to know the names of the friends
00:09:11And you have to be ahead of her sometimes
00:09:13You know, and women
00:09:15That's a beautiful thing
00:09:16Because that means that women are not superficial
00:09:18You know, it means that they're looking for someone that's a partner
00:09:21They're not exactly looking for a physical thing
00:09:23Men are more superficial
00:09:25I have friends that are very superficial
00:09:27I have friends that I show them a picture of a girl that I like
00:09:29And they'll be like, no, bro
00:09:32Nah, you have to break up with her, dog
00:09:34And I'm like, why?
00:09:36And they're like, because, dog
00:09:37Her forehead is crazy
00:09:42I'm like, what? What are you talking about?
00:09:43She's nice and she's smart, she's a good person
00:09:45And my boys are like, no, we could tell that she was smart, dog
00:09:48That's not the...
00:09:50That's not the problem, dog
00:09:53This guy is going on and on about her forehead
00:09:55And I'm like, dude, you're bald
00:09:57Like, how...
00:09:59How could you say that when your forehead doesn't end?
00:10:03But that's how men are
00:10:04Men are like that
00:10:05Women are not like that
00:10:07Women can bring anything to their friends
00:10:09A woman can bring a frog, a real frog
00:10:12To her friends
00:10:13And be like, hey guys, this is my boyfriend
00:10:15And I love him, and he loves me
00:10:19And we hang out by the swamp
00:10:23And we get along great
00:10:24And we love each other
00:10:25And her friends, her friends will be like, okay
00:10:29In that case
00:10:32Ribbit
00:10:39They don't care, the women are down
00:10:41And I think that's beautiful, you know
00:10:42Because it is rare
00:10:44It is more rare to see like a man
00:10:46Like a good looking man
00:10:47With a woman that is not at his level of attractiveness, you know
00:10:51But, quite often
00:10:55You will see a beautiful woman
00:10:57And she's nice, and she's hard working
00:10:59And she loves her family, and she's perfect
00:11:03And then you see her husband
00:11:05And you're like, hey, congratulations
00:11:10And he's like
00:11:12Ribbit
00:11:18Every time I see this couple
00:11:20I go, oh my God
00:11:23That guy probably listens like crazy talk
00:11:42That guy probably says stuff like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait
00:11:44Start again
00:11:47My boy's like, no, bro, I bet you that guy's rich
00:11:50I'm like, no, Don
00:11:52That guy probably has
00:11:55Follow-up questions
00:12:07And that's the problem, you know
00:12:09I don't listen good, so I'm scared
00:12:11And on top of that, women are scary to me in general
00:12:15In general, because I grew up with women in my house
00:12:18I grew up with only women in my house
00:12:19It was me, my mom, and my sister
00:12:21And in high school, my mom's best friend and her daughter moved into my house
00:12:24I have seen too much
00:12:27When I was little, I would go to school
00:12:29And a little boy would be like, hey, you know that girls don't poop?
00:12:32And I would be like, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha
00:12:38I know very well how they poop
00:12:40And I think it's worse than ours
00:12:45No, man, I saw it all
00:12:47Women are very scary, they are
00:12:49And they live a violent life behind the scenes
00:12:51I have seen what you hide, okay
00:12:54Every woman has a mustache, did you know that?
00:12:59They all have a mustache
00:13:00And they get it taken care of in the most violent way possible
00:13:04Everything they do is violent
00:13:06They go to a salon
00:13:07And they go, I have a mustache
00:13:09And the lady goes, ah, how would you like me to take care of that?
00:13:12And the woman goes, oh, I would like it if you could maybe rip it off my face
00:13:23And they pay a little woman with big forearms
00:13:27To go up to her face and go, ah!
00:13:33Everything that they do is violent
00:13:35And I'm scared of women for that reason
00:13:37I'm scared that everything that they do is violent
00:13:39Everything that they go, they do their hair, the hair is violent
00:13:42They get their eyebrows yanked out one at a time
00:13:45Nya-ga-da, nya-ga-da, nya-ga-da
00:13:48Ripped out, and they like it
00:13:50They go, thank you, like that
00:13:53Everything they do is violent
00:13:54Their hair, they go to a salon and they light their hair on fire
00:13:58And they put chemicals in their hair
00:14:00And all types of stuff
00:14:02They put their hair in aluminum foil
00:14:04Like their hair is food now
00:14:07And then they go, now put your head in the microwave
00:14:11And then the woman sits in the microwave
00:14:14And lets her head get cooked in the microwave
00:14:16And it's hot under there
00:14:18And they go, is it too hot for you, Melissa?
00:14:20And she goes, no, I like it!
00:14:24And imagine, imagine, they get their head cooked
00:14:26They're getting their head cooked
00:14:27Imagine the radiation that gets into their head
00:14:30You have no idea
00:14:30And that's why women are a little bit different, you know?
00:14:35They're a little bit different
00:14:42When a man wants to know if you love him
00:14:44He goes, baby, do you love me?
00:14:45And that makes sense
00:14:46When a woman wants to know if you love her
00:14:48She goes, if I was a donkey
00:14:50And you...
00:14:53And you were a lizard
00:14:54Do you think we could still be together?
00:14:57And the man is like, what?
00:15:00And she's like, if I was a donkey
00:15:03And you were a lizard
00:15:06Did I stutter when I asked the question?
00:15:10Like, your hair looks fantastic, babe
00:15:12I'm so sorry
00:15:14Everything they do is violent
00:15:16The Brazilian wax
00:15:17Let me tell you
00:15:18There's nothing Brazilian about that
00:15:21They put the word Brazilian there
00:15:23So that you think it's a tropical experience
00:15:26But it is not a tropical experience
00:15:28I have been there
00:15:30I have been to every appointment
00:15:31Because I had a single mom
00:15:33And I didn't behave good
00:15:34I know what I'm talking about
00:15:37I've been in there with my soccer cleats
00:15:41You go to the Brazilian wax place
00:15:43And they grab your mom
00:15:44And they throw her on a surgical table
00:15:45And then a little goblin comes through some curtains
00:15:50Hello!
00:15:53And she...
00:15:53I haven't seen what they do
00:15:54But it looks like they do honey and duct tape
00:15:59On your mom
00:16:01And then they look at your mom
00:16:02And they go
00:16:02I'm gonna count to three
00:16:03Okay?
00:16:04One
00:16:05Two
00:16:08And then they hold it up
00:16:09Like the head of a soldier that she killed
00:16:19And then she looks at your mom and she goes
00:16:21Because it has been a long time
00:16:26And I'm sure that it hurts when they rip that off
00:16:28I'm sure that it hurts
00:16:29But my mom never screamed
00:16:30And she never cried
00:16:31Women are too abnormal to scream or to cry
00:16:34They rip it off and she talks
00:16:36When it hurts, they talk
00:16:37They go...
00:16:38And your mom goes...
00:16:39My son is in the third grade
00:16:40Did you know that?
00:16:46Of course I'm scared
00:16:48And I have seen it all
00:16:49I have seen it all
00:16:50I have seen a woman getting ready to leave the house
00:16:54A woman getting ready to leave the house
00:16:56Is one of the most violent scenes
00:16:57I have ever seen in my entire life
00:16:59They are able to turn their bathroom
00:17:01Into Dexter's laboratory
00:17:03There are potions and serums and creams
00:17:06And electricity and water
00:17:09What a horrible combination
00:17:10And everything is all at once
00:17:12Everything is on fire in there
00:17:14There's a cream that if you touch it
00:17:16And you touch your face
00:17:17All the hair falls off your body
00:17:20It is violent in there
00:17:22And her makeup...
00:17:23She's not doing her makeup like...
00:17:25No...
00:17:26She has a pencil and she's putting it in her eye
00:17:29And her eye starts to cry
00:17:31And she's a savage
00:17:32She goes...
00:17:33And goes deeper with the pencil
00:17:36The eye is rejecting the pencil
00:17:40If the eye could talk
00:17:41The eye would say
00:17:42Please mama
00:17:43No more pencil
00:17:45Please no more with the pencil
00:17:47Please
00:17:48And she doesn't care
00:17:49She goes deeper with the pencil
00:17:50And if she makes a mistake
00:17:52She goes...
00:17:52I have to start again
00:17:53Like that
00:17:56Tell me that's not scary
00:17:59The clothes that women wear
00:18:01To leave the house
00:18:02Is insane
00:18:03Men are shirt, pants, shoes
00:18:04Maybe ha
00:18:05Shirt, pants, shoes
00:18:06Maybe ha
00:18:07Women...
00:18:08There is stuff
00:18:08That you have no idea
00:18:10That they have to wear
00:18:11And the way that they have to contort
00:18:13Their body
00:18:14You don't even know
00:18:15I was the wardrobe guy
00:18:16At my house
00:18:16My mom would be like...
00:18:18Marcelo!
00:18:18And I walk in and she is...
00:18:23She's contort...
00:18:24She's a contortion...
00:18:25I'm like...
00:18:26What's going on?
00:18:26She goes...
00:18:27I'm gonna put my elbow in my ass
00:18:29Okay?
00:18:31And I'm like...
00:18:32What?
00:18:32She goes...
00:18:32I'm gonna put my elbow in my...
00:18:34When my elbow reaches my ass
00:18:35I need you to zip
00:18:36You understand?
00:18:39I'm like...
00:18:39That sounds dangerous, mommy
00:18:40I don't know if that sounds like it's safe
00:18:42It's not safe
00:18:43It's what you have to do
00:18:45Okay...
00:18:46Elbow to the ass
00:18:47Yes...
00:18:47Elbow to...
00:18:47I go...
00:18:48It's not zipping...
00:18:49I said wait...
00:18:50Until my elbow reaches my ass
00:18:54I had to be in there for all of that stuff, man
00:18:56It's spooky
00:18:57Women are not the delicate creature that you think that they are
00:19:00They're living a violent life behind the scenes
00:19:02And then they go out and they go...
00:19:03Hi, how are you?
00:19:06Hell no, dog
00:19:07All of it is violent
00:19:08You go to a...
00:19:09You go to a club
00:19:09And you see a woman and she's beautiful
00:19:11And you're like...
00:19:12Wow...
00:19:12I like your outfit
00:19:13That's a nice shirt
00:19:15That's not a shirt, Papa
00:19:18That thing...
00:19:19Clips, okay?
00:19:28You had no idea that thing clips, huh?
00:19:32You thought that she put her shirt on like this
00:19:35No...
00:19:35She put it on like this, dog
00:19:39She had to make it clip, dog
00:19:42That's a lot of work that she has to do
00:19:45And that's tight, dog
00:19:46By the end of the night
00:19:47That thing is in her neck
00:19:49So...
00:19:50Be gentle with her
00:19:52It's scary
00:19:53All of it is scary, dog
00:19:54And the blood
00:19:55I saw the blood first hand
00:19:56People don't even think about the blood
00:19:58Women don't want to talk about the blood
00:19:59The blood is very real
00:20:00I was a happy little boy
00:20:02And I had a happy little sister
00:20:05And one day out of nowhere
00:20:08For no reason
00:20:10Blood
00:20:13Blood
00:20:13And she's like
00:20:14Mommy, blood?
00:20:15And my mom is like
00:20:16Welcome to the club
00:20:19And she's like
00:20:20Blood only for today?
00:20:22And my mom is like
00:20:22Blood forever
00:20:25And now my happy little sister
00:20:27Is counting the days of the blood
00:20:29Like it's jail
00:20:30She starts to say scary stuff to me
00:20:33The blood is coming
00:20:38There's three days until the blood
00:20:41I'm like
00:20:42What?
00:20:42She's like
00:20:42The blood wants ice cream
00:20:45I'm like
00:20:46The blood can talk?
00:20:48She's like
00:20:49I speak for the blood
00:20:51The blood speaks through me
00:20:54Like
00:20:55Oh my God
00:20:55And the blood has Bluetooth
00:20:57Did you know that?
00:20:59Because if three of you get together
00:21:00You pair device
00:21:12It's scary dog
00:21:13It's scary dog
00:21:14And then imagine
00:21:14Then we have to take them out on a date
00:21:16You know?
00:21:17Imagine that
00:21:18Imagine like
00:21:19You ask a girl out on a date
00:21:21And she hasn't been on a date in a while
00:21:23Think about it
00:21:23Now she has to go through a week of torture
00:21:25She has to pay all these different people
00:21:27To do all these horrible things to her body
00:21:29Rip it, rip it out
00:21:35And it costs money
00:21:36They pay, they pay, they pay
00:21:37Put their head in the microwave
00:21:39Money, money, money, money
00:21:40Everything
00:21:41They pay
00:21:41And then they get to the date
00:21:43And they're like
00:21:44So what do you do?
00:21:45And the guy's like
00:21:45I'm still figuring that out
00:21:50She's like
00:21:50Then I'm gonna kill myself
00:21:54It's not worth it
00:22:03And that's why men have to pay on the date
00:22:06Because by the time she gets to the date
00:22:08She's in debt
00:22:12There's no money left
00:22:14And you don't know where the blood is
00:22:15So just pay and say
00:22:17I'm sorry
00:22:18Is what you say
00:22:20I'm sorry for what you go through
00:22:22And if you want to take a girl on a date
00:22:24But you don't want to pay
00:22:25If you don't want to pay
00:22:27Tell her before the date
00:22:29That you don't want to pay
00:22:31So you can both show up with a mustache
00:22:36And then you can split it like men
00:22:49And that's how I grew up
00:22:51And that's how I grew up
00:22:51I grew up in Miami
00:22:52In salons and Brazilian waxes
00:22:54And
00:22:58And then I went to college in Ohio
00:23:02Yes, yes
00:23:03I guess you could say that I studied abroad
00:23:16And I was shocked when I got to Ohio
00:23:18Because I thought that I was white
00:23:22And then I got to Ohio
00:23:23And they were like
00:23:24Whoa, whoa, whoa there Chikorito
00:23:28It was a tough time
00:23:29And I am gonna talk about white people a little bit tonight
00:23:32And I want to say something before I get into it
00:23:35I want to say that I know that right now
00:23:36It's a tough time
00:23:38To be white
00:23:41And I want to say
00:23:43Don't be sad
00:23:45You guys had a fantastic run
00:23:52It's okay
00:23:55You know
00:23:56And I know that today
00:23:58A lot of people say
00:23:59White people this
00:24:00And white people that
00:24:01And it's always something negative
00:24:03And I'm sure that that can affect your mental health
00:24:10But
00:24:12I want you to know that
00:24:14When people say white people this
00:24:15And white people that
00:24:16We're not talking about all of you
00:24:19No
00:24:20There's a group
00:24:22And I'm sure some of you are here
00:24:24And you're like
00:24:24Marcelo, am I in the group?
00:24:28I want to know if I'm in the group
00:24:30I don't want to be in the group
00:24:33I have a bunch of Latino friends
00:24:34I'm not in the group, right?
00:24:40I mean really
00:24:40Am I in the group?
00:24:41Just tell me
00:24:42Because I want to know
00:24:44And I'm gonna help you
00:24:45To find out if you're in the group
00:24:46To find out if you're in the group, okay?
00:24:47If you are white
00:24:49And when you were little
00:24:50And when you were little
00:24:50Your mom hit you
00:24:53You're Hispanic
00:25:01We accept you
00:25:03We appreciate you
00:25:04And sweet Caroline
00:25:08Pam, pam, pam
00:25:09You see?
00:25:10We're cool guys
00:25:12We're cool
00:25:13Now, if you are white
00:25:16And you find that a lot of times in your life
00:25:19Someone will say something
00:25:20Someone will say something
00:25:21And you go
00:25:25Then you are who we are talking about
00:25:30So let's try to enjoy this together, huh?
00:25:33How about that?
00:25:34I'll tell you this
00:25:35When I went to Ohio
00:25:36My biggest surprise were the parties
00:25:37You know?
00:25:38The way that white guys party
00:25:40Did shock me a bit
00:25:41Because in Miami
00:25:42When we party
00:25:43It's all about the girls
00:25:44How many girls are gonna be there?
00:25:46There can be no guys
00:25:48There can only be girls
00:25:49The party tonight
00:25:50Is gonna be 700 girls
00:25:52And us four
00:25:56That's how we like to party
00:25:57And in Ohio
00:25:58It's not about the girls at all
00:26:00It's about the beers
00:26:01How many beers are gonna be there?
00:26:02If I sell my car
00:26:04How many beers do you think?
00:26:06And I'm like
00:26:08I want to go home
00:26:09You know?
00:26:10I didn't feel right
00:26:11Because in Miami
00:26:12You dance
00:26:13And you have to dance
00:26:15In Miami
00:26:16The music is making you dance
00:26:18You don't have a choice
00:26:19In the matter
00:26:20In Miami
00:26:20It doesn't matter what status
00:26:22You are socially
00:26:23The quarterback of the football team
00:26:24And the guy that likes chess
00:26:25Are both getting disgusting
00:26:27On the dance floor
00:26:29No matter what
00:26:30No matter where you are
00:26:31You have to
00:26:33And it's not because you want to
00:26:35It's because the music makes you dance
00:26:36We cannot stop
00:26:38The music is too crazy for you not to dance
00:26:40You're sitting there standing still
00:26:42And then you hear
00:26:51Look at you
00:26:53You can't stop
00:26:55You're like
00:26:57You have to
00:26:58You just have to
00:26:59And that's what it is
00:27:00The music is playing
00:27:01The guys are dancing
00:27:02And the women are everywhere
00:27:03And they don't want to dance
00:27:05By the way
00:27:05Latina women do not want to dance
00:27:07They are strong feminist women
00:27:09They are not interested in dancing with any man
00:27:11I don't need any man to talk to me tonight
00:27:12I'm not interested in talking to any man
00:27:13I don't need you to tell me
00:27:14I don't need a man to come up to me
00:27:16And be like
00:27:16Ah you look pretty
00:27:17I know I look pretty papi
00:27:18I don't need you to tell me
00:27:20I don't need you to tell me
00:27:21What I do and who I am
00:27:22And what I need to look like
00:27:22Or anything like that
00:27:24Ah I
00:27:25Oh
00:27:25Oh you look beautiful
00:27:26You look beautiful
00:27:27I don't care what you say papi
00:27:28I work very hard to look beautiful
00:27:29I put a pencil in my eye
00:27:30And I made a clip
00:27:31So don't even talk to me
00:27:35I went through a lot to be here already
00:27:39So no man
00:27:39They are dancing
00:27:41And they have
00:27:42And they don't want to dance
00:27:43They are very strong feminist women
00:27:45They are not interested in dancing
00:27:46And it's funny
00:27:47Because they have this strong feminist energy
00:27:49But the music
00:27:50The lyrics of the music in Miami
00:27:51Are not feminist at all
00:27:53Are they?
00:27:55They are not feminist at all
00:27:56This strong feminist Latina woman is at this party
00:27:59And then the guy in the song is like
00:28:01And out of nowhere he goes
00:28:04I grab you
00:28:04I take you to my house
00:28:06You don't have a choice
00:28:09And the women are like
00:28:11I don't have a choice
00:28:25She does all that
00:28:26And then the next day
00:28:27She goes back to her non-profit
00:28:35That's two in the morning in Miami
00:28:36Two in the morning in Cleveland, Ohio
00:28:38It's a totally different story
00:28:41All you hear is
00:28:43Jealousy
00:28:43Turning on my daddy blind
00:28:46Turning on my...
00:28:49The girls are nowhere to be found
00:28:52These guys are destroying the house
00:28:55I have never felt like more of an immigrant in my entire life
00:29:03And it's a sad...
00:29:04They're singing sad songs
00:29:06It's the price I pay!
00:29:09Like why are you paying a price?
00:29:13It doesn't make any sense
00:29:14And we don't do that
00:29:15We don't do Latinos
00:29:16We don't have sad songs like that
00:29:17The saddest song we have has a happy beat
00:29:20You know?
00:29:21The beat is always happy
00:29:22My wife, she left me
00:29:25She took the kids
00:29:30I'm homeless
00:29:31I don't have money
00:29:36The beat is so happy
00:29:37You don't even know what's happening
00:29:39This guy's like
00:29:40I'm gonna die in three months
00:29:41And you're like
00:29:42Not even thinking about it
00:29:49But that's how it is
00:29:50We don't do sad
00:29:50We don't do depression
00:29:52You know?
00:29:52It's hard for us to do depression
00:29:54The Latinos
00:29:54We don't really have it like that
00:29:56You know?
00:29:56Me and my sister
00:29:57We tried to get depression
00:30:01When we were little
00:30:02We tried to get it
00:30:04We were like
00:30:04Mommy, I'm depressed
00:30:06And then she did like a rap
00:30:09She did like a performance
00:30:12We were like
00:30:13Mommy, we're depressed
00:30:14And she was like
00:30:29You're depressed
00:30:36Allow me to reintroduce myself
00:30:43I am your mother and when I was 12 years old I had to leave my country because the government
00:30:47took my house and I had to go to the United States by myself and I had to work 27
00:30:52different
00:30:53jobs and I had to go to sleep in a washing machine and wake up in a dryer
00:30:59and I didn't have any friends and I didn't have any money and I didn't have any toys and I
00:31:01didn't
00:31:01have any YouTube and I didn't have any Netflix and I didn't have any Amazon and I didn't have
00:31:04any Hulu and I didn't have any YouTube TV and I didn't have any Toys R Us and I didn't
00:31:06have any
00:31:07best mind I didn't have any partner or anything and then I had to and then I had to learn
00:31:13to speak
00:31:13English and I had to pay my way through college and while I was doing that I got pregnant with
00:31:17you
00:31:20and you didn't ruin my life but you did it didn't ruin my life
00:31:25and when you were born you were so stupid you didn't even know how to walk I had to teach
00:31:28you
00:31:28how to walk because you didn't even know how to walk and then you got a little bit older and
00:31:33you
00:31:33wanted to do activities and I had to pick you up and drop you off pick you up and drop
00:31:36you off
00:31:36pick you up and drop you off and drop you off and pick you up sometimes I had to drop
00:31:50you off and then I have to wait
00:31:53and then I pick you up and drop you off
00:31:57and pick you up and drop you off pick you up and drop you off and pick you up and
00:32:00drop you off
00:32:01so if anybody in this house is gonna have depression it's gonna be me
00:32:17and that is when I learned that depression is something that you earn
00:32:39you have to deserve it and listen I know that mental health is real you know I'm just telling
00:32:46you my experience which is that I was not allowed to have it okay and and I I tried to
00:32:54have it I
00:32:55don't know what my life would have been like if I got to have it but I know that not
00:32:59having it kind
00:32:59of helped me in a lot of ways it helped me push through a lot of dark situations you know
00:33:03it
00:33:03wasn't always this nice for me this is a beautiful moment I'm very grateful for you guys and everything
00:33:08that you've done to support me it means the world
00:33:15people people sometimes ask me they go Marcelo do you like it do you like to be on Saturday live
00:33:21night
00:33:26and they always go when does it film I'm like
00:33:32it's okay people ask me they go do you like it do you like to tour do you like to
00:33:37do these shows do
00:33:37you like what you're doing and I'm like do I like it I used to be the guy at the
00:33:42top of the slide at a
00:33:43water park I love it I it is insane what has happened to me
00:33:53my my job used to be to look at a little kid and say wait and a little kid would
00:34:00be like I want to
00:34:01right now
00:34:05you have to wait I'm so sorry that was my job I had little kids coming up to me and
00:34:11screaming at me you
00:34:12know look and I learned a lot at that job I learned about hard work and about you know
00:34:18struggle and about being in the wrong place but having to continue and I also learned that I don't
00:34:23like skinny kids I I don't like them I'm sorry I don't like them have you seen them have you
00:34:29seen
00:34:29a skinny kid they're possessed they're like
00:34:39and the blood is pumping too fast in their body and they're crazy skinny kids used to come up to
00:34:44the top of the slide and look me in my eye and be like push me and I'll tell you
00:34:50the truth I wanted
00:34:50to I wasn't allowed but I wanted to I don't like them skinny kids and they'll say random stuff skinny
00:34:56kids will just lie to your face they'll just say a lie a skinny kid will be like I can
00:35:00run faster
00:35:01than a car I'm like no you can't you can't do that nobody can do that that's so stupid why
00:35:05would you
00:35:05even say that skinny kids are insane skinny kids will reveal a family secret don't tell a skinny kid
00:35:11anything a skinny kid will tell everyone a family secret a skinny kid will come to you and be like
00:35:14my mom takes pills to go to sleep my mom hits my dad and he cries
00:35:27like shut up and I can talk about skinny kids because I was one I might have been one of
00:35:34the
00:35:34skinniest kids of all time and I did some skinny stuff I did the skinniest thing I ever did
00:35:46when I was 10 years old I used to take the bus to school and home from school because my
00:35:50mom worked
00:35:51a lot and I wasn't getting a lot of respect on the bus because I was new on the bus
00:35:55and the bus is like
00:35:56jail whoever is there the longest they have the most respect and I was new on the bus so I
00:36:05didn't get
00:36:05any respect so I decided one day to convince everyone on the bus that my mom lets me smoke
00:36:12cigarettes and they believed me and then when they were like oh that's cool I was like yeah
00:36:19and my dad lets me drink alcohol and they were like whoa that's cool and I'm like yeah and they
00:36:25were like all right well we better enjoy Marcelo because he's gonna die very soon
00:36:30and I was a legend on the bus a legend they thought that I was getting drunk and just smoking
00:36:35cigarettes
00:36:36at 10 years old I was a legend every time I would get on the bus the girls would be
00:36:39like
00:36:41and I'll be like chill mommy I'm wasted
00:36:47I was a badass on the bus and then after like two or three weeks of being a legend on
00:36:53the bus
00:36:53I got home one day and my home phone rang
00:36:57and I picked up the phone and I swear this lady on the phone goes hi this is Anna from
00:37:04child protective
00:37:05services and I was like what she was like I'm calling due to a report by your bus driver that
00:37:12your mom lets you smoke cigarettes and your dad lets you drink alcohol um we just wanted to let you
00:37:18know
00:37:18that we are in the process of finding you a foster home
00:37:22and I'm like no they don't even let me drink soda
00:37:30she goes I understand you're scared um but just uh please let me talk to your mom
00:37:36and I'm like no find the foster home first
00:37:48hell no so she obviously was like this is very serious let me talk to your mom I'm like okay
00:37:54and so I talked to God for a moment and then I gave the phone to my mom and my
00:38:02mom is like who is it
00:38:02and I'm like she's gonna take me she's like who I'm like the one on the farm and then my
00:38:09mom's like
00:38:09what she grabs the phone she starts talking to this lady she gets emotional she goes wow okay
00:38:15all right I will okay I will when she hangs up the phone she tells me that now by law
00:38:21her and my father
00:38:22need to report to child protective services my mom needs to check her nails and her lungs to see if
00:38:29she's an active smoker and my dad has to pee in little cups to see if he's an active drinker
00:38:38yeah yeah that's how skinny I was
00:38:45yeah
00:38:49maybe one of the skinniest of all time
00:38:52and so imagine the guilt that my mom put on me for those two weeks she had to report to
00:38:57child protective service
00:38:58imagine every day have a great day at school Marcelo
00:39:03I'm gonna go to child protective services to see if I can still be your mom
00:39:13I felt so bad I felt so guilty I was paranoid super paranoid I told everyone at school even the
00:39:20teachers that they cannot say anything in front of the bus driver because he is undercover for child
00:39:25child protective service I was freaking out I have never been so freaked out in my life and those two
00:39:32weeks felt like an eternity and after those two weeks my parents sat me down we had a conversation
00:39:37and they were like Marcelo um your father quit drinking a long time ago I quit smoking 15 years ago
00:39:44so obviously we tested negative and you get to stay with us
00:39:49and I was like
00:39:51good job guys
00:39:57and it was one of those that was so bad that
00:40:00they don't have to punish me I punish myself you know
00:40:03they look at me like this
00:40:06and I'm like no yeah I know I know
00:40:07I threw away my TV I threw away my Xbox
00:40:11and I called Disney World and I told them that we're never gonna go back there again
00:40:16and we never talked about it again after I after it happened it was something that was so bad
00:40:22that we never talked about it again it was that bad it was one of those things that you just
00:40:27you let it go the kid learned the lesson you let it go that's how bad it is and we
00:40:32never
00:40:33communicated about it again I never apologized I never asked her what it was like nothing and
00:40:38that was when I was 10 when I was 21 years old
00:40:41I was in Ohio and I saw a sign for child protective services inside of a CVS
00:40:50I'll never forget it and I saw the sign and I went wow
00:40:53I have not talked to my mom about our experience
00:40:57I have never asked her what it was like to have such a skinny kid
00:41:01so I decided to call her and apologize so I called my mom and I go mommy do you remember
00:41:10when child protective services almost took me because the bus driver was a double agent
00:41:22and my mom goes I see yes Marcelo I remember and I forgot to tell you that that was my
00:41:29friend Maria
00:41:29that called you that day
00:41:50and I'm glad it's funny to you guys
00:41:54I was so confused I was like what and she was like your sister told me what you said on
00:42:01the bus
00:42:02I was like wow I had no idea she was such an evil little witch
00:42:07my mom was like yeah your sister told me what you said so I was like oh
00:42:10he wants to lie let's see who can lie the best
00:42:16and to this day every year on my birthday this evil woman posts on my Facebook page
00:42:23happy birthday from Anna at child protective services
00:42:36people sometimes they wonder you know they go how Latino is Marcelo he looks like he plays lacrosse
00:42:42and I'm gonna tell you exactly how Latino I am
00:42:47my mom used to hit me in the women's bathroom at the mall
00:43:00I'm a real veteran dog
00:43:02to a lot of people that was just a bathroom
00:43:05to us it was the Coliseum
00:43:10we lost a lot of great men in there
00:43:14and I never did anything crazy to deserve to go to the Coliseum you know
00:43:17sometimes you'll be at the mall and you see a little kid talking to his mom
00:43:20and he's like I hate you and I want to go home
00:43:27you know and I'll let you guys decide the race of that child
00:43:33anytime I will see a little kid talking to his mom like that
00:43:36like I hate you and I want to go home
00:43:38I will go up to my mom and be like you know I would never do that to you right
00:43:45that little boy has crossed the line
00:43:49and I pray that he pays the price
00:43:53that is all your highness
00:43:58I would never do something like that to my mom
00:44:00the reason that I would get in trouble is because my mom would notice that I would do like a
00:44:04personality trait
00:44:06that she didn't like you know
00:44:09we get in trouble not for saying something crazy to our mom
00:44:11we don't have the balls to say something crazy to our mom
00:44:13our mom is too scary for us to say something crazy to her
00:44:16we say it in our room behind her back
00:44:18you know
00:44:18in your room you talk to her in an imaginary
00:44:21you go you better not talk to me like that
00:44:22I'll kill you
00:44:23you know
00:44:24and then she goes what was that
00:44:25and you go nothing
00:44:28talking to myself
00:44:32no we get in trouble for going like this
00:44:34where she tells you to do something
00:44:35and you go
00:44:39and sometimes you realize in the moment
00:44:41have you ever done that
00:44:42have you ever realized in the moment
00:44:43what you just did
00:44:44and what your future holds
00:44:48have you ever done that
00:44:48your mom's like take out the trash
00:44:50and you're like
00:44:50oh no no please please mommy no please
00:44:59I don't even know that guy
00:45:00I don't even know who did that
00:45:01I would never do that to you
00:45:03after everything that you do for me
00:45:04and all the sacrifices that you make
00:45:05and everything that you do to give me a good life
00:45:07I would never do that to you
00:45:09I've been there
00:45:12well what happened to me is
00:45:14is right before we leave the mall
00:45:15we'd be about to leave the mall
00:45:16and right before we leave the mall
00:45:18we'd be at the door of the mall
00:45:19and I can feel the air of the outside
00:45:22and I can't wait to leave the mall
00:45:24because we have been at the mall for 10 hours
00:45:27and we have not bought anything for anybody
00:45:31and I am so ready to leave the mall
00:45:33right when I get to the door
00:45:34my mom goes
00:45:35ah Marcelo I forgot to go to DSW
00:45:37let's go
00:45:39and I go like this
00:45:41I go
00:45:45and that's it
00:45:49time to go to the Coliseum
00:45:52and now I'm in the women's bathroom in Miami
00:45:55in the early 2000s
00:45:56because I breathed incorrectly
00:46:06I am in there
00:46:08and my mom is twisting my ear
00:46:10in a way that is teaching me
00:46:13about anatomy
00:46:15I'm learning about cartilage
00:46:17and how it cannot be destroyed
00:46:21she's twisting my ear
00:46:23I'm like
00:46:23and it's a very Latina environment
00:46:26because the music in the bathroom
00:46:34is
00:46:34I'm getting my ass beat
00:46:35to Gloria Etefan
00:46:40and I look across the bathroom
00:46:42and there's another little Latino kid
00:46:43getting his ass beat
00:46:45and I'm like
00:46:45what you do
00:46:46and he's like
00:46:46I didn't do anything
00:46:48she didn't want to do anything
00:46:50I didn't do anything
00:46:53and I'm like
00:46:54I don't understand you papa
00:46:55you're going to have to slow down
00:46:57he's like
00:46:58nothing
00:46:58my mom
00:47:00got me some sneakers
00:47:01and
00:47:02I didn't like them
00:47:09I'm like
00:47:10what did you do
00:47:10when you didn't like the sneakers
00:47:12he's like
00:47:12nothing
00:47:13she
00:47:14showed me the sneakers
00:47:15and I didn't like them
00:47:16and then
00:47:17very quietly
00:47:18to myself
00:47:19I just
00:47:20I went like this
00:47:20like
00:47:26that's suicide
00:47:29you deserve that
00:47:30my boy
00:47:33my mom never hit me hard
00:47:35my mom hit me
00:47:36a lot
00:47:42very different
00:47:44she hit me a lot
00:47:45and
00:47:46she had
00:47:46she had talks with me
00:47:48she would tell me
00:47:48these little speeches
00:47:49out of nowhere
00:47:50that would make me grateful
00:47:51for what's going on
00:47:52you know
00:47:52out of nowhere
00:47:53on a random day
00:47:54my mom would be like
00:47:55Marcelo
00:47:56what if I told you
00:47:57that everything that you think
00:47:58is yours
00:47:59is mine
00:48:02I'm like
00:48:03what
00:48:03she's like
00:48:04what if I told you
00:48:04that you don't have anything
00:48:05because you don't have a job
00:48:06and you don't have money
00:48:08I'm like
00:48:08what
00:48:09you don't have a job
00:48:10and you don't have money
00:48:10so you have not bought anything
00:48:11I have bought everything for you
00:48:12so you don't have anything
00:48:13nothing that you think is yours
00:48:14is yours
00:48:15everything is mine
00:48:15that's my TV
00:48:16that's my Xbox
00:48:17that's my bed
00:48:17that's my sheets
00:48:18that's my underwear
00:48:18that's my clothes
00:48:19the door is mine
00:48:20the air is mine
00:48:20don't touch the air
00:48:21that's my air
00:48:22don't touch the refrigerator
00:48:23that's my refrigerator
00:48:24nothing is yours
00:48:24and everything is mine
00:48:25do you understand that?
00:48:32and I'll be like
00:48:33what?
00:48:34she'll be like
00:48:34you don't have anything
00:48:36you don't have anything
00:48:37I have everything
00:48:37you don't have anything
00:48:38you don't work
00:48:39I work
00:48:39I have everything
00:48:40everything is mine
00:48:40nothing is yours
00:48:41And I'm like, okay, mama, I understand.
00:48:43And she's like, okay, happy birthday.
00:48:55And when you grow up like that, you know,
00:48:58when you grow up with that type of upbringing,
00:49:01you know, American TV and American movies
00:49:05start to become very unbelievable.
00:49:09I never understood any of the TV shows.
00:49:11I would go home, my mom would twist my ear in the bathroom,
00:49:14and then I would go home and watch Full House.
00:49:16And if you don't know Full House,
00:49:18Full House is a show about a white guy that his wife dies,
00:49:21and then him and his two friends
00:49:23need to raise three little girls.
00:49:25And they call it Full House
00:49:27because that's a lot of people in one house for the whites.
00:49:39Let's be honest.
00:49:41If that was a black, Latino, or Asian show,
00:49:44it would be called House.
00:49:56Every episode of that show used to blow my mind
00:49:58because the daughter would do something crazy.
00:50:01The daughter, the oldest daughter,
00:50:02would do something insane out of nowhere.
00:50:04She'd be like, I'm going to smoke cigarettes.
00:50:05I'd be at my house like, don't do that, DJ.
00:50:10That could be very, oh, come on, DJ, don't do that.
00:50:12Please don't do that.
00:50:14I was like my grandma watching a novella.
00:50:15Please, DJ, you're going to die.
00:50:21Then, of course, she wouldn't listen to me.
00:50:22She would go smoke cigarettes with the girl with the long neck.
00:50:28You remember Kimmy.
00:50:29And listen, I love Kimmy, but, and she grew into it.
00:50:33But back then, it was crazy.
00:50:36And so, they would go smoke cigarettes.
00:50:38And then DJ would come home smelling like cigarettes.
00:50:41And then Uncle Joey would be in the kitchen,
00:50:43and he would smell the cigarettes.
00:50:44And he would be like, oh my God,
00:50:45I have to go tell Bob Saget about this.
00:50:48And he would go tell Bob Saget, that's the dad.
00:50:51And then Bob Saget would come into the kitchen
00:50:53and be like, DJ,
00:50:56why does it smell like cigarettes?
00:50:59And where were you?
00:51:02And I'm already a little bit pissed off.
00:51:03I'm like, speak up, Bob Saget.
00:51:07You know exactly why it smells like cigarettes.
00:51:09That little girl disrespected you in your house.
00:51:12After everything that you do for her
00:51:13and all the sacrifices that you make
00:51:15and all the money that you spend to give her a good life,
00:51:17she has the balls to go behind your back
00:51:18and smoke cigarettes, Bob Saget.
00:51:23That little girl has crossed the line,
00:51:25and today is the day that she pays the price.
00:51:29And of course, Bob Saget,
00:51:32she's just looking at her,
00:51:33and she's looking at the camera,
00:51:35and the camera goes to DJ,
00:51:37and she goes,
00:51:39and I'm like, don't be scared now.
00:51:43You were a big girl when you wanted to smoke cigarettes.
00:51:47Be a big girl now.
00:51:50And then it will go to commercial,
00:51:52and I'll be like,
00:51:53oh!
00:51:57Bob Saget, when we come back from commercial,
00:52:00Bob Saget is about to beat the brakes
00:52:01off of this little bitch.
00:52:04Or at the very least,
00:52:05make her smoke the whole pack of cigarettes.
00:52:10At least show me something, Bob Saget.
00:52:14We come back from commercial,
00:52:15and DJ's like,
00:52:19and then she runs up the stairs,
00:52:21and I'm like,
00:52:22running makes it worse.
00:52:27If you know, you know.
00:52:30She runs up the stairs,
00:52:32and she gets to her door,
00:52:33and she goes,
00:52:34and she slams the door,
00:52:36and I'm like,
00:52:43strike two, mama.
00:52:46Now you're really going to get it.
00:52:48And then Bob Saget runs up the stairs,
00:52:50and I'm screaming at Bob Saget.
00:52:52I'm like,
00:52:52take your belt off on the way, Bob Saget.
00:52:59Bob Saget runs up there,
00:53:00he gets to the door,
00:53:01and she goes,
00:53:02and she locks the door.
00:53:06Exactly.
00:53:07Exactly.
00:53:09I'm not even upset.
00:53:11I'm confused.
00:53:12I'm like,
00:53:12where did this little girl get a lock?
00:53:19She must be paying rent in this house.
00:53:24And then Bob Saget gets to the door,
00:53:26and he blows my mind.
00:53:28Bob Saget gets to the door,
00:53:29and he goes,
00:53:32and that's when I freak out.
00:53:34I'm like,
00:53:34you don't have to knock on the door.
00:53:35That's your door.
00:53:40Take the door off the door,
00:53:43and hit her with the door.
00:53:50And I know that that's not the right thing to do,
00:53:52but I was hungry for blood at the time.
00:53:57He knocks on the door.
00:54:00The little girl goes,
00:54:01unlocks the door.
00:54:03What a lovely young lady.
00:54:05And then Bob Saget walks into that room,
00:54:07and again,
00:54:09does something that my brain cannot even comprehend.
00:54:12I gave him very simple instructions.
00:54:15I'm like,
00:54:15Bob,
00:54:16you don't have to hit her if you don't want to,
00:54:17but at least find something that she loves,
00:54:19and destroy it.
00:54:22That guy walks into this girl's room,
00:54:25and he goes,
00:54:25DJ.
00:54:40Why would you go smoke cigarettes?
00:54:45Why would you do that, DJ?
00:54:46DJ?
00:54:48You know,
00:54:49not only are you hurting me,
00:54:50but you're hurting yourself.
00:54:54And she's like,
00:54:55I'm sorry, Dad.
00:54:57He's like,
00:54:58it's okay, DJ.
00:55:02I love you very much,
00:55:04but today,
00:55:06I'm really disappointed.
00:55:10And I throw up.
00:55:17And then DJ goes,
00:55:19so,
00:55:20safe to say I can't go to the party on Friday?
00:55:24And I'm like,
00:55:25this bitch.
00:55:29And Bob Saget goes,
00:55:32safe to say.
00:55:46When I saw that,
00:55:47I wanted to record it,
00:55:48and present it to my mom.
00:55:51I wanted to put a TV on wheels,
00:55:53and go up to my mom,
00:55:54and be like,
00:55:55hello,
00:55:55sharks.
00:55:56Thank you for having me today.
00:56:01I would like to present to you,
00:56:02a different method,
00:56:03mama.
00:56:05And then my mom would be like,
00:56:07ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:56:10In my experience,
00:56:11the only way that you learn
00:56:12is when I twist your ear
00:56:13or destroy something that you love.
00:56:16And for that reason,
00:56:18I'm out.
00:56:32And I'll be honest,
00:56:33when I was watching those shows
00:56:35when I was younger,
00:56:36I did want that life.
00:56:37I did.
00:56:38I wanted that life.
00:56:39It seemed nice.
00:56:40It seemed safe.
00:56:42And I was jealous,
00:56:44you know?
00:56:45And now that I've gotten older,
00:56:46I have grown,
00:56:47you know,
00:56:47really proud of the way I grew up.
00:56:49I'm proud to have immigrant parents,
00:56:51and to be raised by them.
00:56:55And,
00:56:55you know,
00:56:58they made me strong,
00:57:00you know?
00:57:00They made me strong,
00:57:01and they made me powerful.
00:57:02And I feel like,
00:57:05you know,
00:57:05one day I want to have kids,
00:57:07and I do feel like
00:57:08I kind of want to have a kid
00:57:09that grew up like me,
00:57:10you know?
00:57:10And I think sometimes
00:57:12when people grow up like I did,
00:57:13you know,
00:57:14with the fake phone calls
00:57:15and the Coliseum,
00:57:18they say stuff like,
00:57:19I'm going to stop the cycle.
00:57:21I'm going to stop the cycle of violence.
00:57:23And I want to say to you tonight,
00:57:25Miami,
00:57:25I am going to continue the cycle.
00:57:36And,
00:57:37you know,
00:57:37I think that
00:57:39it's very interesting
00:57:40to grow up the way that we did,
00:57:41you know,
00:57:41with immigrant parents.
00:57:42It is very interesting.
00:57:43You know,
00:57:44we are not allowed
00:57:45to have mental health issues,
00:57:46and I think that
00:57:48that's why we steal the jobs.
00:57:52You know,
00:57:52who would you rather hire?
00:57:54You know,
00:57:55Antonio,
00:57:56who has no idea
00:57:56that he has any kind
00:57:58of mental health issue,
00:57:59or Jake,
00:58:00who's going to take
00:58:01a personal day.
00:58:12I don't know.
00:58:13I don't know.
00:58:13I just,
00:58:14I've been watching the news now
00:58:15for the first time
00:58:16in my life
00:58:17because they're talking
00:58:18about us,
00:58:19and it's crazy.
00:58:21Every time I turn on the news,
00:58:22there's a white lady,
00:58:23and she's like,
00:58:24the immigrants are coming in here,
00:58:25and they're doing crime.
00:58:26And I'm like,
00:58:30because I grew up
00:58:31around immigrants.
00:58:32Everybody I grew up with
00:58:32was an immigrant.
00:58:33My parents,
00:58:34my parents' friends,
00:58:35my teachers,
00:58:35everybody was an immigrant.
00:58:36My soccer coach,
00:58:37everyone I ever grew up with
00:58:38was an immigrant.
00:58:39And maybe we are doing crime,
00:58:41but the biggest crime
00:58:42that we're doing
00:58:43is working illegally,
00:58:44which is a pretty solid crime.
00:58:54There are a lot of Americans
00:58:55that don't want to work
00:58:56legally, you know?
00:58:57So we are filling a void there.
00:59:00We're helping out, you know?
00:59:01And I just don't like the idea
00:59:04that the immigrants,
00:59:06especially the Latino immigrants,
00:59:08are scary
00:59:08because I really know
00:59:09about Latino immigrants.
00:59:10That's something I know about.
00:59:11I don't know about politics.
00:59:12I don't know about laws.
00:59:13I don't know anything.
00:59:13I do know about Latino immigrants
00:59:15because that's who raised me.
00:59:16That's who I know.
00:59:17And when they get on the news
00:59:18and they go,
00:59:18the immigrants are scary,
00:59:20white people being like,
00:59:21the immigrants are scary.
00:59:22I'm like, no,
00:59:23and don't say that.
00:59:24We're not scary,
00:59:24and white people
00:59:25are not scared of us.
00:59:26Have you seen
00:59:27a white person at a resort?
00:59:31Do they look scared of us
00:59:32when they're like,
00:59:34hola?
00:59:38Como estas?
00:59:40They love us.
00:59:41They go to a bar.
00:59:42They make a joke
00:59:43with a Latino bartender.
00:59:44They laugh,
00:59:44and then they go,
00:59:45that's it, Santiago.
00:59:46You're coming home with us.
00:59:50You love us.
00:59:52We're fun.
00:59:53You know,
00:59:54and I know that there's some people
00:59:55that want the immigrants out of here,
00:59:56and there's some people
00:59:56that are sad about the immigrants.
00:59:58They're sad about what's happening
00:59:59to the immigrants.
00:59:59They're like,
01:00:00it's so sad what's happening
01:00:01to the immigrants.
01:00:02They're throwing them over the wall,
01:00:03and I want to say something right now.
01:00:07We'll be back, okay?
01:00:10We always come back.
01:00:14We're smart.
01:00:16We're smart.
01:00:18What are you going to do
01:00:19when I get to the border
01:00:20and I say bonjour?
01:00:24We'll be fine.
01:00:25We're genius.
01:00:26We'll be fine.
01:00:30It just does bother me
01:00:31a little bit to hear,
01:00:32you know,
01:00:33white people talking about
01:00:34the Latinos like we're scary.
01:00:35We're all scary.
01:00:36Everybody has scary people.
01:00:38But I want to say something
01:00:39to the white people
01:00:39that think that Latino immigrants
01:00:41are scary.
01:00:41I want to say that
01:00:42if you're white
01:00:44and you think
01:00:45that Latino immigrants
01:00:46are coming to America
01:00:48to grab a bunch
01:00:49of little kids
01:00:50and put them
01:00:52in a basement.
01:00:53No.
01:00:55That's your thing.
01:01:08We don't do that type of crime.
01:01:11We don't like our own kids.
01:01:13Why would we
01:01:13grab random kids?
01:01:15That's not interesting to us.
01:01:17We don't do that type of crime.
01:01:19And I know,
01:01:20I know I'm getting
01:01:20really aggressive
01:01:21with white people right now,
01:01:22but I can say it, okay,
01:01:24because I have a lot
01:01:25of white friends.
01:01:30And they love me.
01:01:32They're cool with it,
01:01:34so be cool, okay?
01:01:35We're all flawed people.
01:01:36And my big message
01:01:37is to remember this,
01:01:39white people,
01:01:40when you are judging
01:01:40the Latino immigrants,
01:01:42remember this.
01:01:42Remember that Latinos
01:01:44do fun, exciting crimes.
01:01:46What's a Latino crime?
01:01:48Be racist for a moment.
01:01:49What's a Latino crime?
01:01:50I'm driving the plane
01:01:51and it has a little bit
01:01:52of cocaine.
01:01:53That's a fun crime.
01:01:55That's a fun, exciting crime.
01:01:58We're in the air.
01:01:59Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.
01:02:00It's fun.
01:02:02So let's remember this
01:02:03when we judge
01:02:04and when we put blanket statements
01:02:07on the Latino immigrants.
01:02:08Remember that.
01:02:09Remember that Latino immigrants
01:02:11do fun, exciting crimes
01:02:13that belong in movies.
01:02:17And white people
01:02:19do creepy crimes
01:02:21from documentaries.
01:02:26Miami!
01:02:33Thank you, thank you,
01:02:34thank you, thank you.
01:02:37I'm so happy to be home.
01:02:39Thank you for coming out tonight.
01:02:41Thank you for supporting me always.
01:02:43This is where it started.
01:02:45Y a lo latino los quiero,
01:02:46los amo.
01:02:48Gracias por apoyarme.
01:02:50Se le quiere mucho.
01:02:51Buenas noches, señores.
01:02:52Gracias.
01:02:54Gracias.
01:02:56Gracias.
01:02:58Gracias.
01:03:17Gracias.
01:03:20Gracias.
01:03:33Gracias.
01:03:43Gracias.
01:03:45Gracias.
01:04:15Gracias.
01:04:16Gracias.
01:04:21Gracias.
01:04:27Gracias.
01:04:27Gracias.
01:04:30Transcription by CastingWords
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