- 4 hours ago
The Spy features Philip Sterling (third of six) as an out of work spy for the CIA, who believes the 12th Precinct is just a setup for a con job.
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TVTranscript
00:00...
00:04...
00:07Who do we got there?
00:08That's uh, Felice Douglas, indecent exposure.
00:16Victim of...
00:17Oh, I see.
00:18So did she.
00:22Douglas, I'm Captain Miller, I'm sorry to hear about the incident.
00:26He stopped and asked me how to get to the Museum of Natural History.
00:30I was in the middle of telling him when he...
00:32I understand.
00:34I don't think he really wanted to know.
00:36I doubt.
00:38Miss Douglas, here's some pictures we'd like you to take a look at.
00:42You let me know if anyone catches your fancy.
00:46It's just faces.
00:48That's all we're allowed.
00:52Calm down, all right?
00:53I'm very, very sorry that I lost my temper.
00:55All right.
00:56But she just started laughing at me as if I was some kind of an idiot.
00:59Hey, what do you got, Woj?
01:01This is Mitchell Warner.
01:03Picked him up at unemployment.
01:07He created quite a disturbance.
01:09Not creating a disturbance.
01:10I was asking for a job, and all they did was laugh.
01:13Just take it easy, Mr. Warner.
01:14Is being unemployed some kind of bizarre joke to you people?
01:17Just have a seat, Mr. Warner, please.
01:20You know, maybe they weren't even laughing at you, Mr. Warner.
01:23Maybe they were laughing at you.
01:24Maybe you should ask him what he does.
01:30What is it you do, Mr. Warner?
01:33Go ahead and tell him.
01:34Okay, well, you see?
01:35You see?
01:36Mr. Warner, please, what do you do?
01:38I was formerly with the CIA.
01:41He's an unemployed spy.
01:43Okay, then.
01:45I'm glad you're so amused.
01:47Mr. Warner, you want to have a seat?
01:4822 years with the company, and then one day it's so long, Boris.
01:55Sorry to hear that.
01:5622 years of blind loyalty.
02:00Pulling their dirty tricks.
02:02Bribing foreign officials.
02:04Toppling regimes.
02:05Not so much as a word of thanks.
02:08I'm very ungrateful of them, Mr. Warner, but what we're dealing with here is something
02:12as mundane as disorderly conduct.
02:17Yes, sir, you want to have a seat?
02:19They wouldn't even give me a letter of reference.
02:27Here you go, Captain.
02:30Oh, thank you.
02:32CIA did terminate over 200 agents in its clandestine division on March 77 after an order from the
02:38Office of the Budget.
02:40Uh, Dietrich, anybody ever refer to you as a walking encyclopedia?
02:45I've heard that.
02:46You seem to know everything about everything.
02:50Except how to make coffee.
02:53Keeps me humble.
02:57Are you really a spy?
02:59Anything you want to make out of it?
03:01I suppose it must be very exciting.
03:03Very glamorous.
03:05Sure.
03:06Sure.
03:07I mean, you must get to travel a lot.
03:11Bug-infested hotels.
03:15Lousy food.
03:16Cheap rental cars.
03:18You've been seeing too many movies, lady.
03:22I was just trying to make conversation.
03:24Thanks.
03:25Hey, uh, I need, uh, some information.
03:28You know, they all think we're a bunch of James Bonds, driving around in Aston Martins,
03:33up to here in Beautiful Women.
03:36You have your place of birth?
03:37You want to see a photo of Inez?
03:41South American revolutionary I had to live with for two years.
03:51I have your place of birth.
03:54She spent a lot of time in the hills, and it showed.
04:00Hey, uh, Cleveland.
04:03You're welcome.
04:04You're welcome.
05:37I've always wanted to say that, boss.
05:39I'm not a clown.
05:41I'm a mime.
05:42Yeah.
05:42Leslie Phillips.
05:44Phillips, I'm Captain.
05:49Apparently, Mr. Phillips set up in front of Mr. Bender's store and had begun performing
05:52a show.
05:53The wall.
05:54I beg your pardon?
06:03Nice.
06:04He was scaring customers away.
06:06They were entranced.
06:08Well, no law says I can let some freak do weird things in front of my store.
06:12Mime is the oldest and the purest of all art forms.
06:15Yeah, I got your art right here.
06:16Okay, let's everybody relax.
06:18Just take it easy, huh?
06:24Dietrich, do you want to take Mr. Bender's statement?
06:26Hi, Mr. Bender.
06:28You got rid of me because I was making too many waves.
06:32I'd heard too much.
06:33I'd seen too much.
06:35Okay, okay.
06:35I've got to put you in a cage.
06:37I can tell you things about the fall of Saigon and it'll make you skim crawl.
06:48What happened?
06:54About the fall of Saigon.
06:56What happened?
06:59It fell.
07:01Okay.
07:04Okay.
07:09All that dumb stuff they do, they don't even say nothing.
07:14Mime is an acquired taste.
07:16Hey, I like good comedy, you know?
07:18Mm-hmm.
07:19Remember the Three Stooges?
07:20Yeah.
07:21Slapstick.
07:21That's great stuff.
07:24Counterphobic responses to violence and humor.
07:27Oh, yeah?
07:29Pain is funny.
07:31Really?
07:32You want to feel a joke?
07:36Uh, not thanks.
07:54No eating in the squad room.
07:59Pick that up.
08:04Listen, if you're finished, I'm going to take Bender and Phillips downstairs for pictures
08:07and prints.
08:07I appreciate that, Arthur.
08:09All right, Mr. Phillips, we're going to go downstairs.
08:15Captain.
08:15Hmm?
08:16Any of my phone calls been returned yet?
08:19Sorry, Mr. Warner.
08:21Hey.
08:22Hey, Park.
08:24Do you think he really worked for the CIA?
08:27That's what he says.
08:30Must be bitter, resentful, huh?
08:34Probably.
08:36Barn, the man's got expose written all over him.
08:41Somehow I had the feeling there was a literary phoenix arising from the ashes.
08:46A couple of other ex-agents wrote him, sold two, three hundred thousand copies, Barn.
08:51I mean, could be book of the month easy.
08:54If you'll excuse me, I'll be in my office.
08:56Uh, yeah, I'll keep you up to date.
09:01How are we doing, Miss Douglas?
09:03There are so many of these men.
09:05It's hard to understand.
09:07There's a lot of pent-up frustration in there.
09:09If only it could be harnessed for peaceful use.
09:14Maybe someday.
09:19Hey, how is everything in there?
09:22Oh, who are you?
09:24I'm Detective Ron Harris.
09:28Oh.
09:30Feeling a little disaffected, huh?
09:32I don't feel like talking right now.
09:36Hey, you know,
09:37when I'm down in the dumps,
09:39you know what always makes me feel better?
09:41What?
09:43Writing a book.
09:47You mean like A.G. or Snip did.
09:50You know, we got a word for guys like you
09:52who help leak agency secrets.
09:55Co-author?
09:58Got a transfer slip for a Warner Mitchell.
10:01Where are you taking him?
10:02No bail's been arranged.
10:03Got to take him over to the tomb.
10:04This very minute?
10:06Sorry.
10:07All right.
10:10Let's go.
10:11Where are we going?
10:12The tombs, the tombs.
10:14Is this normal procedure?
10:16Sometimes.
10:17Come on, let's go.
10:17Who told you to take me there?
10:19Where did he get his orders from?
10:20Uh, Mr. Warner, come on.
10:21We'll talk later.
10:22Come on.
10:23Follow me.
10:24Nice to have met you.
10:26I said nice to have met you.
10:30Sure.
10:32Come back in a couple hours.
10:34Yeah, sure.
10:35Move on.
10:35Move on.
10:36Come on.
10:37What are you doing?
10:49Now everybody stays exactly where they are.
10:53Back a little sooner than I expected.
11:03All right.
11:03All right.
11:04I want everybody to move over there.
11:06Barney.
11:07Come on in.
11:11You know, you were all very convincing, but you're not playing with the kids.
11:15Yeah, won't you?
11:15Oh, my God.
11:19It's been a new development.
11:20I see.
11:21Get over there with the others.
11:22Yeah, sure.
11:23Here I go.
11:23Over there.
11:25Ready to get the weapon?
11:26Love it.
11:27See, we were going up the corridor.
11:29It was a little dark, and then all of a sudden...
11:31But he's mad at me.
11:32Shut up.
11:35Well, I very much appreciate it.
11:39Everybody would put their weapons in there.
11:41But Mr. Warner, now.
11:45Right now.
11:45The man said put your weapons in here, gentlemen.
11:48And there you go.
11:49You got mine.
11:52Mr. Warner, I don't know what that's going to accomplish.
11:55All right.
11:55You can cut out the act.
11:58The act?
11:59I've been with the company since 1955.
12:03I've been on a lot of operations, but never one like this.
12:06Wow.
12:08Beautifully staged.
12:09Look at that.
12:10Beautiful rehearsal.
12:12I bought it.
12:13I bought it.
12:15Mr. Warner.
12:16Tiny little precinct.
12:19Broken down furniture.
12:21Incredibly authentic.
12:24A woman comes in complaining about a flash.
12:26We got flashers.
12:28Ha ha!
12:29A couple of screwball citizens acting out an assault complaint.
12:33Wow!
12:35Don't you think I recognize a company operation when I see one?
12:40Mr. Warner, this is the 12th Precinct New York City Police Department, and we are police officers.
12:44What you see is what you got.
12:48It has come that your man is so anxious to find out whether I might be blowing some company secrets.
12:56Sergeant Harris is a writer.
12:58His interest is...
12:59Avarice.
12:59Pure avarice.
13:00A writer?
13:02Written anything I might know?
13:04Uh, nothing in book form.
13:06Uh, but I got some...
13:08Get out of there.
13:11Uh, look, I was just...
13:13I was just gonna show you some rejection slips.
13:15He's telling the truth.
13:17He can't sell nothing.
13:21What is it you want, Mr. Warner?
13:23I want you to call him off.
13:25Call who off?
13:26Call off the company.
13:29The company?
13:30Hmm.
13:31Call him.
13:33All right.
13:35Well, Joe, try calling the CIA.
13:38Ha!
13:39This phone over here.
13:41Come on.
13:44Turn around.
13:48That's right.
13:51Sit down.
13:54Now dial.
13:59What's...
13:59What's the number?
14:03Try Washington information.
14:05Uh, Rich Brothers didn't eat cold cream on their kisses to be funny.
14:09Everybody stay right where you are.
14:12What the hell's going on here?
14:13Gentlemen, Mr. Warner's in charge.
14:15Just do everything he says.
14:17Put your gun in the trash.
14:18Sure.
14:21It's an old gun.
14:26Now you three.
14:27Into the cage.
14:29Hey, you got no right to do this.
14:31I'm a veteran.
14:33Sorry.
14:34Hey, who sold him a gun?
14:36Will you get in the cage, Binder?
14:37Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
14:43It's ringing.
14:45It's ringing.
14:46Hello?
14:47Uh, spy department, please.
14:52This is the New York police department.
14:55Sergeant Wojohowicz.
14:58Look, may I?
14:59Please, go ahead.
15:03Hello.
15:04Uh, uh, hello?
15:05Hello?
15:06Yes, this is Captain Miller of the New York City police department.
15:10To whom am I speaking, please?
15:13Oh, I guess I don't have to know.
15:18I, but it's imperative that I speak to someone in the clandestine department.
15:24A very, very angry man with a gun.
15:27Does that qualify his life or death?
15:29I'll hold on.
15:31What a company, huh?
15:34Law-abiding citizens were allowed to arm.
15:37This wouldn't have happened.
15:39No.
15:40Hey, I do a real neat piece called Man with a Rifle.
15:44Yeah?
15:44Yeah.
15:45You see, it's so authentic.
15:47People think I've got a real gun.
15:50You do man lying dead on the floor?
15:52No.
15:53Then don't do man with a rifle.
15:59Well, the company must be spending a bundle on this.
16:02Huh?
16:03Ninety-five, hundred thousand.
16:05This jacket's two hundred alone.
16:09You, you, you, you're marvelous.
16:11Very, very convincing.
16:12I really did see what I saw.
16:15You know, they always throw in abroad.
16:18Nothing else works.
16:19Use sex as a last resort.
16:21I've always felt that way.
16:24Guess after Inez, they didn't think I'd be too choosy.
16:29Just because you have a gun doesn't give you the right to ridicule.
16:33Very good.
16:35Very good.
16:36She's marvelous.
16:38I know.
16:39There are rules.
16:39I was told that four people ago.
16:42Look, I have got to get through.
16:46321.
16:49Hello?
16:51It's the clandestine division?
16:56Um, we got a problem on this.
16:58Tell them the lid's off.
17:00Warner knows everything.
17:01The lid's off.
17:02Warner knows everything.
17:03They don't take their spooks away from me.
17:05I'm going to take myself down to the New York Times and spill my guts.
17:07He wants you to halt the operation or he goes to the New York Times.
17:10You don't jerk around with Mr. Warner.
17:11I wrote the book.
17:12You don't jerk around with...
17:12Come here, give me that.
17:19They hung up on me shortly after I said hello.
17:23Hey, you want honesty?
17:24You got honesty.
17:26You gave them a code word to initiate plan two.
17:29Come on, there is no plan two.
17:31There isn't even a plan one.
17:33They hung up because they thought I was some kind of cranking.
17:35Given the circumstances, I was.
17:37Is that so?
17:38Ha ha.
17:39Can I take my wallet out?
17:40Yeah, yeah, take your wallet out.
17:42Here, look.
17:44A shield, my ID.
17:45Shield, ID.
17:47Charles play.
17:48Uh, credit cards, uh, driver's license.
17:53What is that?
17:55Who is that?
17:57It's my wife.
17:59It's your wife?
18:00Of course.
18:01Of course.
18:02What would a New York police captain be without a devoted wife by his side?
18:06Oh, no.
18:08This is your address, telephone number, 617 Christopher Street, 555-3112?
18:14Right.
18:14I'm going to make a little phone call.
18:15No, wait, wait.
18:16Ah, ah, boy, you mean wait, wait, wait, wait.
18:18Something you forgot to cover up here?
18:21I'm going to find out if there is such a thing as a Mrs. Miller.
18:24She's pretty much a homebody.
18:25Oh, let's hope so.
18:32Hello?
18:33Hello.
18:34Is this the Miller residence?
18:36Oh, it is.
18:38Very impressive.
18:41Is Captain Miller there, please?
18:43No, there's an old friend.
18:46Oh, the 12th precinct.
18:50Uh, can you tell me when he's expected home?
18:54He's not.
18:55Huh.
18:56Uh, Hotel Greenwich.
18:59Oh, I'll try him there.
19:01Thank you very much.
19:03We're separated.
19:05Separated?
19:07As in not living together.
19:17Oh, gee, I'm sorry.
19:20It's temporary, you know.
19:23Living apart for a while till we can work somewhere.
19:25Look, I'd really rather not discuss this.
19:27My wife left me in 1961.
19:32I'm sorry.
19:34Because it was mostly my fault.
19:36I was hell to live with after the Bay of Pages.
19:40She just got tired of the whole thing.
19:44Lousy hours.
19:46Slinking around all the time.
19:48Dangerous assignments.
19:52From her point of view, you know, it's...
19:55It's no good for a marriage, that stuff.
20:00Mr. Warner, what do you say you give me the gun?
20:03There's good times.
20:05And there's bad times.
20:08Who gives guarantees?
20:10Mr. Warner?
20:13Mr. Warner?
20:14What?
20:16The gun.
20:18Wait, hold it right there.
20:19Oh, come on.
20:20Give it up.
20:21I mean, for God's sakes, look around you.
20:23Look at the desk here.
20:25Reports signed by my men.
20:27Personal mementos.
20:29Even the CIA, at its most cunning.
20:31Could they come up with a group like that?
20:42Oh, my God.
20:47You have the right to remain silent.
20:48You have the right for...
20:49And I'll have it.
20:51See?
20:54Well, Belle, do you tell them we got a customer coming?
20:56Yes, sir.
20:58Well, that was a refreshing change of pace.
21:03Let Dietrich out.
21:04This very minute?
21:06Just a thought.
21:10Miss Douglas, you can leave whenever you want.
21:15I'm not finished.
21:18I like to finish what I start.
21:22Come on, Arthur.
21:23I'm going to give you a break.
21:24I really appreciate that, Ronald.
21:27Hey, wait a minute.
21:28How about us?
21:31Gentlemen, I'm afraid there are still a couple of assault complaints outstanding.
21:35Unless you two have reconciled.
21:39Well, look.
21:40If he promises to stop weirding off in front of my store, it's going to be all right.
21:44Weirding off?
21:45I'm an artist.
21:46Artists don't weird off.
21:48Who needs?
21:50Mr. Binder, whatever you may think of Mr. Phillips, he does have the ability to draw a crowd.
21:56It appears to me you could turn that to your advantage.
21:59Can I sue him?
22:01You're not in money.
22:02But listen, I really could help you with the advertising at your store.
22:06Oh, yeah, sure.
22:07No, no, listen, really, really.
22:08Listen, I could mime different sporting goods when you have them on sale.
22:11Oh, yeah?
22:12Yeah, like baseball.
22:14Or basketball.
22:17Tennis.
22:21Let me see mace.
22:25Dietrich, I have a feeling Mr. Binder and Mr. Phillips will be leaving us.
22:28You want to get their valuables?
22:30Oh, I saw it coming.
22:36No offense to what I said before, you know, about you not being able to sell anything.
22:43Hey, forget it.
22:45Man, we all say ludicrous things under pressure.
22:52Sir, they're ready for them at Bellevue.
22:55Why don't you run them over?
22:57I'll go with them, Mark.
22:58No, it's all right.
22:59You have work to do here?
23:01Leavitt can handle it.
23:03Thank you, sir.
23:05Okay, Warner, let's go.
23:07Oh, just a minute.
23:15Miss Douglas, I'd like to apologize for my earlier remarks.
23:27That's all right.
23:30Actually, I was flattered that anyone would think I was someone other than myself.
23:36You know, I really enjoy talking with you.
23:41I do, too.
23:42Come on, Warner.
23:43You're going for a ride.
23:47You're sure?
23:49Good cop, would you?
24:00I'm okay.
24:01You're right.
24:04Nice meeting everybody.
24:21Isn't Bellevue on 27th Street?
24:25And First End.
25:07I'm sorry.
25:07I'm sorry.
25:13I'm sorry.
25:14I'm sorry.
25:14I'm sorry.
25:16I'm sorry.
25:17I'm sorry.
25:18I'm sorry.
25:18I'm sorry.
25:18I'm sorry.
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