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Girl Climber [Full Movie] [Full Story]Full EP - Full
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00:00:06Oh
00:00:30Let's go.
00:01:10Rito, open that up.
00:01:12Come on.
00:01:13Get it open.
00:01:16I totally knew it.
00:01:18I totally knew it.
00:01:21What is it?
00:01:23It's a rope.
00:01:24Get rid of that box.
00:01:26Another 12 year old would love a rope for Christmas.
00:01:29Yeah.
00:01:31Yeah.
00:01:31Come on, Em.
00:01:33Yeah.
00:01:34Woo!
00:01:35Yeah!
00:01:37Yeah!
00:01:38Yeah!
00:01:39Yeah!
00:01:39Yeah!
00:01:45Emily.
00:01:46Emily.
00:01:47Emily, where are we?
00:01:48I don't know.
00:01:50I don't know.
00:01:51We're at El Capitan.
00:01:57From Colorado, Emily Harrington.
00:02:02She's certainly a force to be reckoned with.
00:02:06Emily, make it look easy.
00:02:12Five-time national champion.
00:02:22But Emily is certainly one of the most well-rounded American female climbers.
00:02:27Part of your brain knows that this is slightly illogical.
00:02:32It is dangerous.
00:02:33But life's boring if you don't have that little element of spice, right?
00:02:38We should try to get a little bit more comfortable with being afraid.
00:02:46I love exploring my perceived limit and trying to push past it.
00:02:53I love it.
00:03:19I love it.
00:03:44I think this is my pee bottle.
00:03:51Nope, it's just a normal water bottle.
00:03:59A little flare in the van.
00:04:15I'm really proud of my career so far.
00:04:17But if you want to call yourself a successful all-around climber, you've got to be up on
00:04:24El Cap.
00:04:26There it is, in all its glory.
00:04:31El Capitan.
00:04:47It's always surprising how big it is.
00:04:50I never think, oh, it doesn't look that bad, or it doesn't look that big.
00:04:54It's always fucking so big.
00:04:58I don't know why no one talks about how scary it is.
00:05:04I wish I could not feel afraid anymore.
00:05:12El Capitan is a 3,200-foot granite face.
00:05:19Doesn't get much bigger, doesn't get much more difficult, doesn't get much more high
00:05:24quality than El Cap.
00:05:28It's just the most impressive, most beautiful stone in the world.
00:05:32And it's so hard to free climb.
00:05:38When you look at El Cap, it looks impossible.
00:05:41It looks smooth, and you can't imagine what there would be to climb it.
00:05:44It always attracted people that are curious to push themselves to the highest level.
00:05:52For decades, climbers have been testing themselves up there.
00:05:58Climbing El Capitan is the most badass thing that you can do, as a human.
00:06:04With the exception of Lynn Hill, and a few other women, it's very much like a boys club.
00:06:09Come on!
00:06:10Go fast!
00:06:13When I started climbing, the first person I learned about was Lynn Hill.
00:06:18She was the first to free climb a route on El Capitan called the Nose.
00:06:24And then the following year, she went back and free climbed it in a day, which was the
00:06:30most groundbreaking, astonishing achievement.
00:06:34I didn't feel like I needed to prove anything after that, because I was at the age where I
00:06:39wanted to have a kid.
00:06:40I wanted to have a family.
00:06:41And having the freedom to just go rock climbing was not going to happen forever.
00:06:47At a certain point, you have to be happy with what you've done.
00:06:56What's your ring?
00:06:57You want to hear my alarm?
00:06:58Yeah.
00:06:59This is mine.
00:07:00Yeah.
00:07:00What's yours?
00:07:01Mine's more the other end of the spectrum.
00:07:03Of course.
00:07:03Mine is in Yosemite looking for a project, some sort of inspiration.
00:07:08I was working on my personal quest to free solo El Cap on the free rider, and she was willing
00:07:13to go up the wall to support me for a day of climbing.
00:07:15I got really excited because climbing with Alex on El Cap is like playing basketball with
00:07:20Michael Jordan.
00:07:21It's like you're with the best of the best.
00:07:24The first time I met Emily was at a cliff called Jailhouse.
00:07:28She was already a very established, very successful climber.
00:07:32She was a lot better than me, and the thing that really made an impression was that she
00:07:36was all kind of done up and she had earrings and things, and I was like, man, how can someone
00:07:40climb that hard with earrings?
00:07:42She was just so well put together and going to college and doing the hardest thing at the
00:07:46cliff.
00:07:46You know, everything about it was just different than what I was living.
00:07:49I was like, whoa, that's a different level.
00:07:53You could tell he just didn't really care about anything but climbing.
00:07:57And he is very famous for free soloing, which is rock climbing without a rope.
00:08:04No person does what he does at his level.
00:08:11I was incredibly inspired by the way he moved.
00:08:16He was so perfect.
00:08:19He seems so at ease, and I've always envied that.
00:08:23With the green ground, you can climb up to the spire and reflake the rope and manage.
00:08:28I'm just trying to nurture you into a simul climbing machine.
00:08:35Good work.
00:08:37Good work.
00:08:39Good work.
00:08:40That was good.
00:08:41There's no way I would have done any of that without you.
00:08:44Isn't that pretty rad?
00:08:45That was pretty rad.
00:08:46That was a life experience.
00:08:48Yeah.
00:08:49I don't think you could do that in a day.
00:08:51You do?
00:08:52Yeah.
00:08:52Yeah.
00:08:53I don't think it'd be that bad for you because you just have the base fitness that you need,
00:08:56you know?
00:08:56Yeah.
00:08:58It'd definitely be a dream.
00:08:59Yeah, it'd be sick.
00:09:00It's got to start somewhere.
00:09:01Yeah.
00:09:03I mean, you know.
00:09:05That's when I first thought of trying to free climb El Cap in less than 24 hours.
00:09:12Climbing it in a day is the epitome of hard rock climbing, and there's a desire to prove
00:09:18myself.
00:09:18Like, I do deserve to be here.
00:09:20I do deserve to be climbing with all of these people that I've looked up to and idolized for
00:09:26a long time.
00:09:27That's awesome.
00:09:28That's pretty good.
00:09:29I like a dagger, too.
00:09:31It's the sense of belonging that I want.
00:09:48I see some big wet streaks, but I also see dry rock, so it's kind of a mixed bag up
00:09:55there.
00:09:57It is not going to change a single thing.
00:10:03Most people free climb El Cap over five days or so.
00:10:06It's so much harder to free climb El Cap in a day.
00:10:10The difference between doing a multi-day ascent and doing one-day ascent is huge.
00:10:16To climb that thing in a day, it's outrageous.
00:10:19It's an audacious undertaking.
00:10:23I'm left wondering whether she can pull it off.
00:10:28Most people who free climb El Cap in a day have done it via the free rider because it's
00:10:33the easiest route.
00:10:34I wanted to do a more challenging route, and that's why I chose Golden Gate.
00:10:41There are very few climbers who have free climbed any route on El Cap in a day other than the
00:10:46free rider.
00:10:47Golden Gate is quite a bit harder.
00:10:50Golden Gate has only been free climbed in a day by three people.
00:10:53Yeah, Brad.
00:10:54Three of the best El Cap climbers in the world.
00:11:00These guys are heroes of mine, and I want to be a part of that group.
00:11:11Golden Gate has 34 pitches.
00:11:14My goal is to climb from the beginning of each pitch to the end without falling.
00:11:19That will be a free ascent.
00:11:21If I fall, I have to go back to the beginning of that pitch and try again.
00:11:26And I need to do this in under 24 hours.
00:11:36That's going to be really hard for her.
00:11:38I give her a 20% chance of sending, honestly.
00:11:42She just hasn't paid her dues like Honnold has.
00:11:52It's hard to put yourself out there and say you're going to try to do the hardest thing
00:11:57you've ever done just because I'm trying to protect myself from people finding out that
00:12:02I'm afraid or that I fail or that I'm just like everyone else.
00:12:08I mean, I don't want to say it's mansplaining, but primarily there's men that have accomplished this goal.
00:12:13And so it's like I get a lot of advice and it's a lot of like, oh, you need to
00:12:18be committed to this
00:12:19and you need to go here for this amount of time and you need to do it this way and
00:12:22you should be doing this
00:12:22and you should be doing that.
00:12:24I've been climbing for 22 years.
00:12:27Like I know how to approach a goal.
00:12:31I don't need someone to tell me how to do it.
00:12:35But obviously that's a hard, that's a hard thing to convince yourself of as well.
00:12:40It's hard for me to convince myself that I know what I'm doing.
00:12:44Do you think I need more than one three?
00:12:45I wouldn't even take the three.
00:12:46Oh my God.
00:12:48Maybe I don't need this and two purples.
00:12:51I always had it in my mind ever since he asked me to support him that he would probably be
00:12:56willing to support me on Golden Gate.
00:12:59I'd like to think I may be the best supporter in the world for El Cap just because I know
00:13:04the roots really well.
00:13:04I've worked on them a long time.
00:13:06I don't think anyone has climbed any of those parts of the wall faster.
00:13:09Are you climbing the monster with just one six?
00:13:11Yeah.
00:13:12Awesome.
00:13:12And I wanted to help Emily achieve this big dream of hers.
00:13:16Alex is very comfortable, very confident, but I also trust him.
00:13:20Having someone up there who you can tell is right at home makes me feel that much more comfortable.
00:13:27I'll give you that.
00:13:28Go up and try your best.
00:13:30That's all I'm doing.
00:13:30I'm just going to go try.
00:13:31Move by move, you just do your best and see how it plays out.
00:13:34I'm allowed to fall.
00:13:36Yeah, I mean, that's the beautiful thing.
00:13:37You have a rope.
00:13:38It's like a good shit.
00:13:38Let's do it.
00:13:40I'm really happy that I have a rope.
00:13:58Water.
00:14:00There.
00:14:07Here.
00:14:10Here.
00:14:11Here.
00:14:12Here take a time.
00:14:12Enjoy.
00:14:16Remember climbing mountain is fun.
00:14:35the way that I climb the bottom 2,000 feet of the route with Alex is something called simul
00:14:40climbing so I'm leading placing gear and Alex is following climbing at the same time as me
00:14:45so we're moving up the wall together and it enables you to move a lot faster but it cuts
00:14:53some corners because you're placing less safety equipment between yourself and your partner so if
00:14:59either of us falls we can get severely injured or we could die but this is really the only way
00:15:05to climb it in a day I was kind of proud of myself honestly yeah that was good thank you
00:15:11I just hand
00:15:12every hand of the roof I was like fuck that
00:15:34that was the easiest that the monster has ever felt
00:15:38but it's still really hard now it's way faster than ever before oh yeah yeah like 45 minutes
00:15:48you find 2,000 feet already you may as well climb one more picture I'm gonna try I don't know
00:15:52if I can
00:15:53though of course you can just get in there and engage all right you need someone to like punch in
00:16:00the nuts
00:16:15you're doing great thank you I really appreciate it I'm really digging deep here you know this is a this
00:16:20is my first effort yeah do you think it's worth giving it one to the death effort I mean I've
00:16:26been
00:16:26trying to give it to the death yeah what is that to the death it seems a little like worky
00:16:30if we
00:16:31decide to go down let's fully debrief like what are you going to do differently what are you going to
00:16:36do better where can you save energy yeah because I mean obviously there's a ton of room for improvement
00:16:40what are you going to do today a lot of room for improvement
00:16:47yeah that's crazy
00:16:52it just went from perfectly okay to perfectly not okay
00:16:58oh oh my god it hurts so bad
00:17:06hey give me a hug oh you needed a hug from you all day thank you these bruises are just
00:17:12all from one
00:17:13pitch I was secretly happy that we got rained off because everything just felt so hard
00:17:24I don't really foresee me trying again this spring I'm kind of worked over from the season
00:17:31I didn't feel ready and I haven't put in the work in order to be successful
00:17:54oh yeah that was her first wetsuit look at how tiny that little thing is here you go here's a
00:18:02bunch
00:18:02of trophies climbing stuff first place
00:18:10junior nationals oh when she was 12 years old I don't remember what that one was
00:18:19what's that one from serious shovel oh yeah this is the world cup she won
00:18:28no there's the little mohawk look at that mohawk
00:18:35I would say I had like a very normal childhood my dad was really into any activity that was in
00:18:44the
00:18:44mountains ski
00:18:51turns growing up I had this idea that girls were inferior in some way
00:18:58desperately wanted to prove that I wasn't like that
00:19:02I grew up with my two cousins who were boys and we were super competitive with each other
00:19:11all I wanted to do was be better than them I wanted to do well in everything and I tried
00:19:19really hard
00:19:24when I found climbing this switch went off it was like instantly that's what I wanted to do
00:19:34the feeling of lightness and strength and invincibility was pretty profound
00:19:46I liked the feeling of success
00:19:52and if I didn't measure up to that I was so upset and disappointed
00:20:05competitions being the best winning to me that was what climbing was
00:20:15I definitely started putting more pressure on myself my self-worth was so tied to my success in climbing
00:20:24and then my success in climbing was tied to my weight
00:20:29the less mass you have the easier it's going to be to stay on the wall
00:20:35it just became this cycle of punishment I remember being completely exhausted all the time
00:20:43she was so thin and I didn't know what to do and I remember her hands were orange because all
00:20:51she was
00:20:51eating was carrots and I wasn't sleeping well and I was dizzy sometimes
00:21:00and then climbing wasn't very fun I feel like I barely laughed
00:21:08I started realizing that this isn't how I want to live my life and is climbing going to be a
00:21:17positive
00:21:17force in my life or is it always going to be this negative thing
00:21:24I guess now is the best time and here is the best place to say this
00:21:28I have an eating disorder
00:21:30I can't admit it to anybody else
00:21:32but at least I can admit it to myself
00:21:35I feel out of control when I indulge in food
00:21:39and my all-or-nothing behavior makes me depressed and unhappy
00:21:43I don't ever give myself a break
00:21:46I want to be perfect all the time
00:21:47I must run fast climb strong and eat as little as possible
00:22:01eventually my body and my brain just couldn't really handle all the stress and the pressures
00:22:07I realized that competing wasn't something that I really wanted to do anymore
00:22:16The pivotal thing that happened was I joined the North Face athlete team
00:22:22and got invited on an expedition to Mount Everest
00:22:28I had no idea what it would do for me in my life
00:22:34She was keen to try out mountain climbing
00:22:38so it's like oh first mountain climbing trip how about Everest
00:22:42a little bit crazy but why not
00:22:46it's the tallest and most precipitous mountain range on our planet
00:22:50if you want to test your mettle that's where you go
00:22:54I remember just saying Emily no I do not want you going to Everest
00:22:59Tim said to her you're not going and she said dad I'm not 16
00:23:04and that was the end of that
00:23:08Emily at 25 barely coming out of the gym as a gym climber and then being on Everest
00:23:15I mean that's a huge leap to me
00:23:17I was a little like dark in those days so um I might have
00:23:23just totally written her off as a first impression you know just kind of like whatever
00:23:36it wasn't until I got there and realized that Conrad was like completely hands-off with Emily and he was
00:23:41like well you step in you know I'm like I don't even know her I don't want to do this
00:23:45I'm not a mentor
00:23:46I was not very helpful I definitely am not an incredibly sympathetic person
00:23:58I'm ready to go up tomorrow I'm a little nervous and scared to go through the icefall
00:24:06that's knowledge happens like five times a day it's really unnerving
00:24:17I want to get through the icefall and then I'll feel okay
00:24:28Conrad saw something in her and he was right
00:24:35she just didn't give in
00:24:48I came to care immensely for Emily over the time of that trip
00:24:54we talked about my relationship we talked about my climbing we talked about her kids and how much
00:24:58she missed her kids and just life and it gave me a peek into what my life could be like
00:25:04in the future
00:25:28she passed me and she was by herself and I was like Emily why are you by yourself where's the
00:25:32Sherpa that you were climbing with she was like oh god I feel so bad I he was slow so
00:25:37I left him
00:25:38behind was that really bad should I go back and get him
00:25:47she crushed it
00:25:51it was so out of her main sport that it just was all the more of a huge achievement
00:26:00as a climber you're the sum total of all your ascents and expeditions and
00:26:04each experience that you have builds into who you are as a climber and Emily got that
00:26:11I was a lot stronger than I thought I would be climbing on Everest has made me appreciate
00:26:17the style of climbing that I do
00:26:20I do want to continue to be in the mountains and to learn from them
00:26:42good morning
00:26:43good morning
00:26:45here's your coffee
00:26:50I stayed up late last night and get all these emails and like texts with China and Nepal and Tibet
00:26:54and
00:26:55I'm like scared to turn on their phone and see what everyone wrote
00:26:59come back to bed
00:27:00no
00:27:03I have an interview in 15 minutes
00:27:06okay I'll make breakfast
00:27:09hi this is Adrian
00:27:12doing some final prep for a big trip I'm leaving on early next week
00:27:16you know the average Everest expedition is two months long
00:27:20and I'm probably away you know seven to eight months a year still traveling and climbing around the world
00:27:28Adrian is a high altitude climber and a mountain guide who spends a lot of time in the Himalaya
00:27:35we met at camp two on Mount Everest
00:27:41I just remember this charismatic guy he was super nice and fun to talk to
00:27:48the sad fact of high altitude climbing is there's just not many women
00:27:54I certainly noticed Emily as an anomaly
00:27:57but 21 000 feet is really miserable so you kind of like have a crushing headache at the same time
00:28:03you're
00:28:03trying to be like social and funny and interesting it's not like a great flooding opportunity
00:28:08it was this really powerful connection that we had
00:28:11I'd never felt like that with anyone before
00:28:14and we knew that we wanted to stay connected
00:28:19Adrian is gone most of the year guiding in the Himalaya
00:28:23and because I have this big project I'm working on we are going to spend the next four months apart
00:28:30I don't really look forward to this time of year as it is
00:28:34because Adrian's going to be gone for a really long time and I have a lot of
00:28:39like I put a lot of pressure on myself for my own projects
00:28:42no
00:28:46I've spent a lot of time with people who have lost their partner in the mountains and
00:28:52every time he leaves I have this part of me that is afraid he won't come back
00:29:02the secret stash okay I'm overwhelmed again I'm going to go eat some toast
00:29:08I'm really overwhelmed right now goodbye here we go
00:29:15it kind of sucks
00:29:20cat stuff I have food coffee stuff music music bed
00:29:39aaaaaaand she's off
00:29:45it's always hard this one especially
00:29:58I'm going to Moab because I want to prepare for the upcoming Yosemite season and Moab is a great place
00:30:05to do that
00:30:08last spring I just wasn't ready I hadn't put in the work
00:30:18look at these nails too these are the gel nail
00:30:21gel nail magic it's supposed to last for like three months
00:30:28I did not grow up learning how to crack climb
00:30:32and for climbing in Yosemite it's a required skill
00:30:46I wouldn't consider myself a super confident person when I'm standing on the ground
00:30:50it's more when I'm like climbing that my confidence shines through
00:31:04I think I did get better technique it's nice to feel a little more confidence
00:31:09it's I'm excited to go do something
00:31:38I'm excited to go do something
00:31:45I've been in Yosemite now for a few weeks training on Golden Gate
00:31:49it's been long days hiking in and practicing the harder pitches
00:31:54it's really the only way to know every pitch for that in a day attempt
00:32:03there's five hard sections of the route for me
00:32:07the first one that comes up is the monster
00:32:10you have to kind of wedge your body into this crack
00:32:14and this pitch is almost 200 feet long
00:32:17the monster off with is harder if your foot can't bridge the crack
00:32:20my foot can can span between one side of the crack and the other side so I can easily wedge
00:32:24one foot and push upward if you have a smaller foot it's harder to make upward progress
00:32:32I'm sort of going to die right now
00:32:36the next pitch that's really hard for me is called the down climb
00:32:41there's essentially no hold
00:32:43you're kind of standing on a less than vertical smooth surface
00:32:49just pasting your feet on the wall and using the friction in order to stick
00:32:54come on
00:32:55your balance has to be pretty perfect in order to not get spit off
00:33:01oh that was it
00:33:05the next hard pitch is called the move
00:33:08at the end of the pitch there's a really hard boulder problem so a series of really hard moves
00:33:18for me it's the most powerful section of the route it has the hardest single moves
00:33:26the next section is called the golden desert
00:33:30it is a really long crack climb
00:33:34mixed with some funky traversing under a roof
00:33:40and then the very next pitch after that is called the a5 traverse
00:33:45and that's kind of the pitch that guards you from success
00:33:49imagine traversing this steep sloping rail and trying to stand on feet that are the width of dimes
00:33:58the a5 traverse is the spot where most people fail by the time you've climbed almost 3000 feet to get
00:34:04there
00:34:04your arms are just incredibly tired and it's really hard to hang on them
00:34:10i'm still a little nervous about the a5 traverse
00:34:13the a5 traverse
00:34:13the a5 traverse
00:34:42Thankfully, Adrian came home from Everest.
00:34:45Everything was fine, but there was weeks there
00:34:48where I thought he might not.
00:34:51It's not really that safe, even if you make good decisions.
00:34:54Is it true?
00:34:56That I thought you might die?
00:34:57Yeah.
00:35:00So you figured you'd start moving on right away?
00:35:03Yeah.
00:35:04Just going to be a bachelorette and be just in my little world, independent.
00:35:10It could happen.
00:35:11It could be the other way around.
00:35:13Yeah.
00:35:13I think I think about it less, but I think about it sometimes
00:35:16as you start speed climbing more and more, cutting corners, rock fall.
00:35:22There's plenty of things that can kill you.
00:35:23It's a little bit of a stretch, but I'm not going to die.
00:35:26I'm not going to die rock climbing.
00:35:28But you've got to think about it.
00:35:29I didn't acknowledge it's a possibility.
00:35:30It's true.
00:35:31I just think that I've finally, like, come to a place where I'm okay.
00:35:37Not okay, but more okay.
00:35:41More okay is good.
00:35:43Yeah.
00:35:58I do plan on having kids eventually, I think.
00:36:07I want one kid, so I'm not really in a huge rush.
00:36:12I, I say we, we, right?
00:36:15I think I've come around on that.
00:36:17We kind of settled on one because Adrian wanted, like, three.
00:36:20He wanted three.
00:36:22But I just want one, so I'm not in a rush.
00:36:25And I have, like, we both have things we want to do first.
00:36:27I've got a couple about asking me about LCAP and what happened.
00:36:31And if I'm going back, basically, I, I failed.
00:36:35And I also had terrible weather, but that's, like, a second part of it
00:36:40that prevented me from succeeding.
00:36:41And then, yes, I'm going back in the fall.
00:37:00So we've got two liters of water.
00:37:01Okay.
00:37:02I have extra chalk.
00:37:04Okay.
00:37:05Cool.
00:37:05I'm going to keep the air on it.
00:37:06Are you taking that much extra chalk?
00:37:08I'm very concerned about the heat.
00:37:09For one home caper?
00:37:10It weighs nothing.
00:37:12I guess.
00:37:13It just, it seems like a lot of chalk for, yeah, cool.
00:37:15We don't have to bring it.
00:37:16No, no.
00:37:17No, but I actually really want to.
00:37:18If you think it'll make you feel better, it's definitely for a lot of fun.
00:37:20Okay, extra chalk.
00:37:21I'm bringing these.
00:37:22It's really hot.
00:37:23What are those?
00:37:25They're breakable ice packs.
00:37:27For my hands and feet.
00:37:28Seems totally absurd.
00:37:30So if we want to climb by three, what time should we meet in the meadow?
00:37:33Well, like 2.30.
00:37:342.30.
00:37:35That's, like, pretty early, though.
00:37:37Pretty early.
00:37:37Pretty early.
00:37:58Okay.
00:38:06Nice job, man.
00:38:45Come on out, come on!
00:38:47Come on, come on!
00:38:49Come on, come on!
00:38:53Yeah, yeah, come on, come on.
00:38:56Very good.
00:38:57Come on now.
00:39:00Here you go.
00:39:02Nice.
00:39:08If you do it today, in this style, just like you just did it.
00:39:13I'd be pretty sick.
00:39:16Think about how good that's going to feel.
00:39:17I can't yet.
00:39:18I've got to finish the rest of it.
00:39:28Yeah, we started 11 and a half hours ago, so it's a good time, actually.
00:39:34This is when you rely on your World Cup fitness.
00:39:44Come on.
00:39:45Yeah.
00:39:50Pretty sure you can just climb one more pitch.
00:39:54Pretty sure there's like five more pitches.
00:40:04Good.
00:40:12Good.
00:40:13Good.
00:40:14I'm falling.
00:40:14No, no.
00:40:15You're okay.
00:40:15Come on.
00:40:16Come on.
00:40:16No, it's too much.
00:40:17Stay with it.
00:40:19It just fucked everything up and like...
00:40:23That's all right.
00:40:23Oh my God.
00:40:25Oh my God.
00:40:26We just like, had like shit.
00:40:31Really good.
00:40:32Yeah, really good.
00:40:40Ellen.
00:40:42Ellen.
00:40:43Come on.
00:40:44There you go.
00:40:46Oh, fuck.
00:40:47I don't have it you guys.
00:40:48I don't have it.
00:40:51I'm just too tired.
00:40:54I'm giving it everything I have.
00:40:56I just...
00:40:58I just couldn't do it.
00:41:00I couldn't keep climbing.
00:41:03I'm like super bummed, but it's like everything I could possibly do.
00:41:09I failed on the last hard pitch.
00:41:13Pretty heartbroken.
00:41:28I think you have to try things that you're afraid of, that you might suck at, that you're
00:41:34going to most likely fail at in order to actually really get to know yourself and know what you're capable
00:41:43of.
00:41:49When I was trying to figure out how to make a team to go on this seven week, totally unknown,
00:41:57jungle bashing, crazy Alpine
00:42:00Myanmar expedition, I wanted Emily to go.
00:42:04Like, I wanted her to go more than anyone.
00:42:08Like, I wouldn't go if Emily didn't go.
00:42:11This is like an anti-Everest trip.
00:42:18Think of Everest from the minute you get off the plane to the summit of Everest, every step of the
00:42:23way is mapped out.
00:42:25The Kakaburatsi was exactly the opposite.
00:42:29Wanting her on the team was met with a lot of resistance.
00:42:32But I put my foot down and she was stoked to do it.
00:42:45It was a month before we even got to base camp.
00:42:49We had to cut our gear by two thirds.
00:42:53Ran out of food.
00:42:54I didn't.
00:43:04A lot of the things that I did today I've never done before.
00:43:22It's scary with the heavy pack.
00:43:24I feel it off that one's a little.
00:43:26Good job, ma'am.
00:43:31Way more rad, way more gnarly than Everest.
00:43:38My favorite day on that whole climb was Emily and I were stuck on this ridge for 48 hours.
00:43:48Winds blowing 60 miles an hour non-stop.
00:43:53And at one point Emily looks at me and she's like, what do you think?
00:43:57You think we're going to be okay?
00:43:58I looked at her and I was like, I don't, I don't know.
00:44:01I hope so.
00:44:03And she was like, all right, cool.
00:44:06Okay.
00:44:10And five minutes later we're laughing and like doing what we can to like stay alive.
00:44:18Emily and I have talked a lot about how crazy it was and how strung out we were and how
00:44:23close to just like laying down on the trail and giving up we were.
00:44:28And we just didn't.
00:44:31She was everything I expected her to be on that trip.
00:44:35She was gritty.
00:44:36She was funny.
00:44:37She helped me when I was low.
00:44:39She tackled massive scary things.
00:44:44I love to be going wild.
00:44:46Host number 2 of Louis as it isеня Okay.
00:44:597 RatIK
00:44:593.30 3 in the morning.
00:45:00November 20 something.
00:45:09Dragged everyone in to help me climb El Cap in a day.
00:45:15a massive snowstorm is approaching like tomorrow so day after last day of the season basically
00:45:23dragging everyone up here to support me one more character building day on the mountain
00:45:28one more character building day on the mountain it's like 4 a.m it's way colder than it was last
00:45:35time so that's good if you're really pro you'd be racked onto the harness already
00:45:40oh yeah I didn't do that
00:45:4410 more feet today okay yeah exactly
00:45:52go em go here we go you're gonna crush it thanks sonny
00:46:04nice em
00:46:07you're crashing so such a still day up on the captain
00:46:30creaky old grandpa i'll sit down and tighten the shoes up
00:46:36nice em
00:46:52oh my god em
00:46:56should i lower you to the ledge
00:46:57emily you're okay
00:47:02lower
00:47:03em
00:47:05talk to us
00:47:07talk to us em
00:47:08are you okay are you right side up
00:47:13she's not right
00:47:17correct
00:47:19i'm gonna be on hold while i try to get a razor okay
00:47:22okay thank you
00:47:23okay thank you
00:47:29you're stable now huh
00:47:30hang in there um
00:47:34yeah i think
00:47:34you know i can tell that it's terrible
00:47:37it's all terrible like you can tell it's a giant fall
00:47:41the only thing i was thinking about was whether or not she'll walk again
00:47:45to the hospital
00:47:45you're right i can't forget
00:48:11you're right i can't forget
00:48:13you're right i can't forget
00:48:14Pushing on it, on the leg.
00:48:21I've climbed this pitch so many times.
00:48:23I know it's slippery, but I've never fallen.
00:48:25I know my feet are cold, but I need to be confident.
00:48:31I wasn't scared, I just...
00:48:35Now it's scary, though, to think about.
00:48:49Oh, I'm sorry, guys.
00:49:01Yeah, still have some stuff to learn, I guess.
00:49:33The world-class climber Emily Harrington trying to make history, falling from Yosemite's El Capitan.
00:49:38Rescued by one of the most famous climbers in the world.
00:49:41Falls are apparel of the sport, no matter your skill level.
00:49:45Thank goodness she was with people like Alex Hunnell.
00:49:48The climber at the center of that Oscar-winning documentary, Free Solo.
00:49:51I was blank, so I'm holding the rope.
00:49:52But then when she fell, so much rope fell into the system, like so much rope pooled at my feet,
00:49:57basically,
00:49:57that I wound up actually grabbing the rope with my hands in an effort to catch her sooner.
00:50:03I don't know if you guys had a chance to watch Free Solo.
00:50:05Oh, he was...
00:50:06I mean, it's amazing what they do, and boy, you're gonna have some nerves of steel.
00:50:10Yes, you do.
00:50:11You sure do.
00:50:11Hope you have a full recovery.
00:50:15How are you feeling about it all?
00:50:18Shitty.
00:50:19Shitty?
00:50:19Shitty about it.
00:50:20Like sad?
00:50:21Yeah.
00:50:24Everyone is interested in El Cap, and everyone is interested in the fact that I was climbing with Alex Hunnell,
00:50:30so they want to write a story about the damsel in distress who was rescued by the Free Solo star.
00:50:37Oh, adrenaline junkies, like, risking their lives and falling off of sheer cliffs and gets rescued.
00:50:44Like, it's just stupid and not true, and it's misunderstood.
00:50:48I had a bad fall climbing because rock climbing is inherently dangerous.
00:50:53But...
00:50:54And Alex did exactly what any good partner would do.
00:50:57Yeah, and that's the end of the story.
00:50:59Don't look at that close to me, I don't...
00:51:02We were choosing to take a certain level of risk that day.
00:51:07It was 100% not his fault what happened.
00:51:14PIANO PLAYS
00:51:14PIANO PLAYS
00:51:15PIANO PLAYS
00:51:17and...
00:51:43I was afraid of not being good enough.
00:51:45and now the entire world thinks that as well.
00:51:56She is no Alex Honnold.
00:51:58Do this without the security of a rope
00:52:00and then you can pretend to have accomplished something.
00:52:05Woman, go back to kitchen, please.
00:52:07Let man's doing this stuff.
00:52:11She's too fat.
00:52:27I'm bruised and have a rope burn on my neck and a pretty intense concussion.
00:52:33I'm slowly recovering, but mentally I'm struggling.
00:52:41I just spiral into the negativity of,
00:52:44oh, I'm never going to be able to get anywhere with this.
00:52:50Lots of doubt and lots of kind of like questioning of like,
00:52:53why am I doing this?
00:52:54Why am I even like trying so hard?
00:52:57And just feel like giving up.
00:53:00There's just this really big fear and it's all circling around like the whole kid thing
00:53:04and the, the clock is ticking idea.
00:53:08And I really do want to have fun and enjoy climbing.
00:53:11I do.
00:53:12I just don't know how right now.
00:53:15Yeah.
00:53:16It's hard to trust myself, I guess.
00:53:34It's Passover.
00:53:35Happy Passover, guys.
00:53:37Hogsamehack, John.
00:53:38Hogsamehack to you.
00:53:39And, uh, we can tell that it's Passover because we are in our houses,
00:53:43hiding from a plague, and because in a recent...
00:53:46Breakfast.
00:53:47Podcast.
00:53:47Very loud.
00:53:48Very loud.
00:53:49Blood on your door will stop coronavirus.
00:53:52Tell me that.
00:53:54We are one day short of a month since we've been home.
00:53:58April 12th, Easter Sunday, and it's Sunday, but it doesn't really matter that it's Sunday.
00:54:08Every day is pretty much very similar.
00:54:15Adrian and I have been physically together for longer than we have ever been.
00:54:21It's felt like this period of deep connection.
00:54:25What's your favorite color?
00:54:28This is like a rapid-fire question.
00:54:31Oh, really?
00:54:31I actually...
00:54:33What's your favorite color?
00:54:35Gray.
00:54:36Gray?
00:54:38That's a terrible favorite color.
00:54:41My favorite color is green.
00:54:44Really?
00:54:45Yeah.
00:54:45I never knew that.
00:54:46Well, you learn something new every day, don't you?
00:54:48I don't think I've ever bought you anything green.
00:54:50Better start now.
00:54:55We've discussed starting a family in more serious ways, but I really have to finish this project
00:55:02before I can start thinking about taking that step.
00:55:06I don't want to take eight years to free climb Mellow Cap in a day.
00:55:09Then I'll be 40 and then, you know, it might be too late.
00:55:26If I let something like fear, something like an accident stop me from doing something, then I'll never go back.
00:55:33I'll never try something hard again.
00:55:36This is no longer just a way to prove myself.
00:55:40It's a way for me to gain back trust and confidence in myself.
00:55:48I need to go back.
00:55:58I've been really gentle with myself.
00:56:01Just accepting that I'm probably going to be a little more conservative this year.
00:56:05I think I need to talk to Alex about adjusting my method and just be like, dude, I don't want
00:56:09to like go so fast.
00:56:12I want to be able to stop and take a breather.
00:56:14I want to be able to place more gear and feel way more safe.
00:56:34I want to be able to place more gear and feel way more safe.
00:56:453 a.m.
00:56:47I'm out of bed in coffee.
00:56:50M's waiting for a coffee.
00:56:52The life of a superstar.
00:56:56How's it feeling?
00:56:58It's okay.
00:56:59Where I fell last year.
00:57:00Where you fell last year.
00:57:02Yeah.
00:57:05I'm back in Yosemite for the first time since the accident and Adrian's been helping me train on the hard
00:57:10pitches and build back that trust.
00:57:14Down to the move pitch.
00:57:18Yes.
00:57:19Dun, dun, dun!
00:57:21Oh.
00:57:24Yes.
00:57:26There was no like massive screaming whippers out of the move today.
00:57:30No.
00:57:30You just hit it every time.
00:57:32You're stronger.
00:57:33Big support today.
00:57:36You're welcome.
00:57:40Physically I feel better than I have probably ever in my life.
00:57:45I'm trying to figure out the best tactics for climbing the monster.
00:57:50And so I'm going to try putting on my climbing shoe.
00:57:53And then I'm going to try putting on a size 42 TC Pro over top of it to make my
00:58:00foot bigger.
00:58:08I'm so excited about this.
00:58:15And so what time are we thinking about starting?
00:58:17Let's say starting the monster at 6am, which means starting climbing at 1am.
00:58:22That's what I was hoping to do tonight.
00:58:24You know?
00:58:25I know.
00:58:25Get some.
00:58:26Signed up for it.
00:58:27Yeah, no, no.
00:58:28I'm into it.
00:58:29Knee pads and duct tape and elbow pads.
00:58:31At this point you're going to get to the top more fresh than when you left the ground.
00:58:35I think it would be tough to make this more comfortable.
00:58:37Yeah.
00:58:38That's the whole point.
00:58:39Yeah, exactly.
00:58:40We're ready for the long haul right now.
00:58:43I'm planning to have two partners.
00:58:45It is really valuable to have Alex as a partner because he is so fast.
00:58:50But up higher when the climbing gets slower, I really like having Adrian there.
00:58:55He's really good emotional support for me.
00:59:05Go get her.
00:59:07Go get her.
00:59:08Go get her.
00:59:08Move slowly and then like see how I feel when I get to that.
00:59:11Yeah, cool.
00:59:12It's the same time as tomorrow as today basically.
00:59:14I do feel ready.
00:59:15I don't think I'm going to be any more ready than I am right now.
00:59:19If I achieve this, I'll never not be a climber, but I can like move on from being like solely
00:59:26focused on climbing.
00:59:27Like I can move forward with my life.
00:59:29I could have a family.
00:59:30Like I could do all these things I've wanted to do that might not require so much like pinpointed focus.
00:59:37It's that meaningful.
01:00:08Nice, Em.
01:00:17At some point in here, I'm going to have to tie my shoes and put them on.
01:00:20I'm sort of like, oh, I've got flashbacks of the last year.
01:00:23PTSD.
01:00:23Exactly.
01:00:25Oh my god, jeez.
01:00:41I'm going to run around to the top and hopefully get to meet them like two-thirds of the way
01:00:45up.
01:00:49Nice, Em. Really smooth.
01:00:53There's Em.
01:00:54She's done the free blast.
01:00:57Yes.
01:00:58Great challenge, Adrian.
01:01:00How do you feel?
01:01:01Okay.
01:01:27It's so funny that you're wearing two pairs of shoes.
01:02:01I'm scared.
01:02:05Oh, so glad to have that bitch over with.
01:02:08I'm taking off all of my shoes.
01:02:09All four pairs of them that I was wearing.
01:02:15I was wearing Alex's shoes over my shoes so I could climb the monster easier and faster.
01:02:21And it works.
01:02:25It's not often that I encounter a completely new rock climbing technique on a big wall.
01:02:29This is one of those times.
01:02:31You've styled the hard stuff.
01:02:33I think I've had a job.
01:02:34Next, Em is going to lead us to the summit of the mighty El Capitan.
01:02:38That's what's happening next.
01:02:51Good, Em.
01:02:52Really nice.
01:03:01Nice and relaxed.
01:03:10Trust the beat.
01:03:12Perfect.
01:03:13That's the one.
01:03:15Perfect.
01:03:17Really good.
01:03:24Good, Em.
01:03:30Good work.
01:03:31I'm not coming down off the mountain until I set this route.
01:03:36I'm never climbing that pitch again.
01:03:42Nice, Em.
01:03:43Really smooth.
01:03:50I gotta say, you look really fit right now.
01:03:53Like, your arms are like, okay.
01:03:55muscular.
01:03:58Thanks, Alex.
01:04:00Like, have you been like, working out more?
01:04:03Yeah.
01:04:05I've been putting some effort in.
01:04:08Like, have you really?
01:04:08Because you look like freaking kind of jacks.
01:04:11Yeah.
01:04:12Yeah, dude.
01:04:12I have.
01:04:15Nice.
01:04:19Really good.
01:04:19Come on.
01:04:20So strong.
01:04:22Come on.
01:04:23Come on.
01:04:36Come on.
01:04:37Come on.
01:04:37That's it.
01:04:38Come on.
01:04:39Really good.
01:04:44There you go.
01:04:45Where the hell is it?
01:04:46There you go.
01:04:48There you go.
01:04:48There you go.
01:04:53I had to dig really deep for that one.
01:04:57I set the move pitch on my first try.
01:05:00Everything's going well.
01:05:03Waiting for the other shoe to drop.
01:05:27So exciting.
01:05:28Up here.
01:05:29So fresh.
01:05:31You can jerk all over your face.
01:05:32But.
01:05:32Otherwise, looking good.
01:05:34Thanks Alex.
01:05:35Yeah.
01:05:36It feel good.
01:05:37Dude, infinitely better than last time.
01:06:06You got it, man.
01:06:15No!
01:06:16No!
01:06:19Oh no.
01:06:24It's bleeding.
01:06:25Yeah, I see. Just a little.
01:06:28Want me to bring you down?
01:06:29Yeah.
01:06:30Okay. A little.
01:06:32You're okay.
01:06:42Let's see how bad it is.
01:06:51Like, I just don't know anymore about this whole hole. It just feels too hard for me.
01:07:00This stupid shit just keeps happening.
01:07:03No.
01:07:04You're getting better and better every time.
01:07:06I know.
01:07:07I just don't feel good enough right now.
01:07:18I wanted it so badly and maybe I just wanted it too much.
01:07:30This worked really hard.
01:07:32No.
01:07:33You're not done, Em.
01:07:36You're not done.
01:07:40So stupid. Why did that have to happen?
01:07:43I didn't do anything wrong. I wasn't running it out. I wasn't doing anything wrong.
01:07:49I'm just scared now.
01:07:51You just bumped your head.
01:07:53You're fine.
01:07:55You didn't break anything.
01:07:57I know.
01:08:00I hope they all do it.
01:08:02You're gonna do it today.
01:08:06You're gonna do it today.
01:08:10It's not hopeless.
01:08:12Promise.
01:08:13Okay.
01:08:14I'm trying.
01:08:15I keep trying.
01:08:16I don't have, like, much confidence anymore.
01:08:20I think you've got more try on you.
01:08:23You know I'd tell you if I didn't.
01:08:25I don't.
01:08:26I don't.
01:08:26I think you can do it.
01:08:28You can try.
01:08:47But not Sometimes someone should swing a little quickly.
01:08:55Albertsons are are all gods are all better.
01:08:55I love. If you
01:09:00do it, they're all good in their shoulders. You're
01:09:01all good in their comes. That's
01:09:01Is that...
01:09:01I love God.
01:09:02This is who is
01:09:02Let's go.
01:09:32That's right.
01:10:36Thanks.
01:10:38No matter what happens, I'm proud of myself.
01:10:42I'm really proud of myself.
01:10:46Oh!
01:10:54Gotta keep climbing.
01:10:57I'm trying to rest before the last hard pitch.
01:11:00The A5.
01:11:01Yeah.
01:11:02The site of...
01:11:05Last time's failure?
01:11:06Last year's failure?
01:11:07Mm-hmm.
01:11:08Yeah.
01:11:09Pretty nervous for it.
01:11:12And we're out of water.
01:11:14Yeah, we are out of water.
01:11:15It sucks.
01:11:15Poor mountain guide planning.
01:11:22You look great, so proud of you.
01:11:24Have fun on this.
01:11:26This is the pitch you earned.
01:11:35Nice.
01:11:36Come on.
01:11:41Come on.
01:11:44Come on.
01:11:47Nice.
01:12:03Come on, mom.
01:12:10There we are.
01:12:12Come on.
01:12:14Come on.
01:12:17Come on.
01:12:19Come on.
01:12:22Come on.
01:12:25Come on.
01:12:28You know what to do.
01:12:52Come on.
01:12:54Come on.
01:13:02Yeah!
01:13:05Mom!
01:13:09Oh, my God!
01:13:11Emily!
01:13:12Woo-hoo!
01:13:20Oh, my God!
01:13:23Woo-hoo!
01:13:25Holy shit, Emily!
01:13:34I can't believe I did that.
01:13:36Okay, I've got to keep it together.
01:13:38We've got five more pitches.
01:13:40Oh, my God.
01:13:43Dude, I'm going so bad.
01:13:45Ladies and gentlemen,
01:13:47I've always dreamed of being able to do this.
01:13:49And now it's happening,
01:13:51and it's just crazy how it's happening.
01:13:54It was so close so many times to falling just now.
01:13:57So close.
01:13:59But I just didn't fucking let go.
01:14:01Haha!
01:14:07Uh-?
01:14:24Uh-?
01:14:26Uh-?
01:14:27Uh-?
01:14:27Uh-?
01:14:28Uh!
01:14:28Uh-?
01:14:29Uh-?
01:14:29Uh-?
01:14:30Uh-?
01:14:39Oh, fuck you!
01:15:02I'm really, really happy and exhausted and my head kind of hurts and I'm thirsty and everything
01:15:10is perfect.
01:15:17I love you so much.
01:15:22You did it.
01:15:27I'm so proud of you.
01:15:28Wow, you worked so hard and you believed.
01:15:3821-12, 21-13.
01:16:05You heard that.
01:16:08Mm-hmm.
01:16:30Can I say hi to everyone?
01:16:31Nice work.
01:16:32Thanks.
01:16:33Well done.
01:16:35You look worse.
01:16:37Actually, you look pretty good.
01:16:38He's went downhill a little bit after he left.
01:16:40You had to make an effort, dude.
01:16:43Why'd you leave us?
01:16:45Oh, my God.
01:16:46That was so sweet.
01:16:52Oh, my God.
01:16:54Oh, my God.
01:16:55That is so sweet.
01:16:56I love him.
01:17:05Oh, my God.
01:17:10I love him!
01:17:12Oh, my God.
01:17:14Oh, my God!
01:17:43I can still hear her voice in my head and
01:17:50I think
01:17:52about whenever
01:17:53something's hard or something comes up that
01:17:56feels tricky or
01:17:58feels complicated, especially
01:18:00as like a woman
01:18:02and a mother
01:18:03I try to think about
01:18:05how Hillary would handle it.
01:18:19Climbing is dangerous and it entails
01:18:21a level of risk, but
01:18:23climbing has given me so much
01:18:25and I'm just not
01:18:27willing to
01:18:29give it up.
01:18:33I'm excited for what's next.
01:18:37Bye bye.
01:18:55I know the rise
01:18:59and I know the fall
01:19:01Cause a voice inside
01:19:04knows me best of all
01:19:09If I can't run
01:19:12I'll walk or crawl
01:19:14I'll restart, restart
01:19:18I'll give my all
01:19:22To find my place
01:19:27My place
01:19:29On the wall
01:19:44I'll follow the path
01:19:46Into the sky
01:19:48To kiss the heavens
01:19:52Before I die
01:19:58Amidst the clouds
01:20:00Amidst the clouds
01:20:01The world seems small
01:20:03His tired heart
01:20:07Still wants it all
01:20:10I'll find my place
01:20:14My place
01:20:16On the wall
01:20:18I'll find my place
01:20:22My place
01:20:23On the wall
01:20:25I'll find my place
01:20:25On the wall
01:20:26I'll find my place
01:20:27On the wall
01:20:28I've been through the fall
01:20:29I've been through the fall
01:20:30I've given my all
01:20:32I've given my all
01:20:34I've given my all
01:20:34I've given my all
01:20:34For my place
01:20:35On the wall
01:20:39I've been through the fall
01:20:40I've been through the fall
01:20:41I've been through the fall
01:20:41I've given my all
01:20:43I've given my all
01:20:44I've given my all
01:20:45I've given my all
01:20:46I've given my all
01:20:46I've given my all
01:20:46My place on the wall
01:20:53I found my place
01:20:56My place on the wall
01:21:00I found my place
01:21:04My place
01:21:08On the wall
01:21:28I found my place
01:21:28My place on the wall
01:21:28My place on the wall
01:21:46I found my place
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