00:00Can I help you, madam?
00:01Yes, do you have these in an eight and a half?
00:02I'm sorry, they're not really designed for men. Are they for your husband?
00:05No, I'm not married. They're for me.
00:06Oh, sorry. Oh, you know what they say. Big feet. Big, um... forget it.
00:10Look, eight and a half. Can you help me or not?
00:12Have you thought of getting smaller ones?
00:13Then I wouldn't fit into them.
00:14No, smaller feet.
00:16I can't change the size of my feet.
00:17Well, me sister did it. Bit of effort.
00:19How?
00:20Exercise. Went mountain climbing in the Himalayas.
00:22Went away a size six. Came back a size four.
00:24What?
00:24I mean, she got a frostbite. Lost all her toes.
00:26She has to wear slip-ons. Can't tie the laces.
00:28But like I said to her, at least you stopped picking your nose.
00:31So she lost all her fingers?
00:32And her nose.
00:34Well, I'm not losing all my toes just to get into smaller shoes.
00:36Well, there's other ways. What about the concubines?
00:38Concubines?
00:39Yeah, they're like porcupines, but with big feet.
00:40You know, concubines.
00:43The women in China who strap their feet and shrink them.
00:45And why would I want to do that?
00:46To find a husband.
00:47I mean, you said yourself you weren't married.
00:48Big feet, not married. You do the maths.
00:50Your attitude is disgraceful.
00:52There's no need to be rude.
00:53You're the one being rude. I want to see the manager.
00:55Well, he's across the road. He'll be there in a couple of steps.
00:58Ha ha ha.
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