- 18 minutes ago
Full Episode of Life Is Not a Game
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Short filmTranscript
00:01Jupiter, you there?
00:03The game already started. Where are you?
00:09Jupiter, if we lose this, it's on you.
00:12Who the hell is Jupiter?
00:14We need you! Come on, bro!
00:17We're getting fucked over here.
00:20Don't you fucking dare!
00:27Fuck you, T.J.
00:29Hey guys, you still on?
00:31We're here. Let me guess, you were hooking up?
00:33Again? You said you'd be on.
00:35Nah, don't slut shame me Mars. You're a guy, he'd be doing the same thing.
00:39Leave him alone. At least he shows up to play.
00:42Mars gets it. He'd drop us for a girl, too.
00:45For sure. You know me. Just a guy's guy fighting girls off, left and right.
00:56Come on. You guys ready?
00:58Yeah, start it.
01:09Whoa, easy there.
01:11Oh, hi, T.J.
01:14Sorry, do I, do I know you?
01:17No. Well, kind of. I mean, we've been in classes every year since middle school, but...
01:22T.J., are you serious right now? It's the first day of school and you're already trying to get your
01:26body count up?
01:27No, that's not at all.
01:29Leave the poor girl alone. She's clearly not into it.
01:34Just because you were born first doesn't mean you can act like mom.
01:40Oh, my God. I am so sorry about him. He does not know how to turn the fuck boy thing
01:46off.
01:48You're Charlotte, right?
01:50Tracy, oh my God, my best friend!
01:53You look so good.
01:56Why are you letting this desperate nerd rub up on my man?
02:00Leave her alone, Sadie. You're my brother's groupie, not his girlfriend.
02:06Don't worry. After football season is over, then he's gonna put a label on it.
02:11I'll see you at practice. We'll try so hard not to drop you.
02:18Aren't you two friends?
02:20We were friends until I found out that she was just using me to get to my brother.
02:25How about I tell you all about it after school? You want to come over to my place?
02:30Please, please. I clearly need to broaden my social horizons.
02:37Okay.
02:38Really? Yes!
02:45Hello?
02:50Tracy?
02:52Upstairs!
03:13Corey, is that you?
03:17Oh, shit!
03:21You okay?
03:28Two tackles in one day. Should join the football team.
03:33I'm so sorry.
03:34I'm not.
03:35Well, apart from getting you all sweaty.
03:41You know, if you didn't spend so much time looking at your feet, you wouldn't run into people as often.
03:47Right. Sorry.
03:50It's okay.
03:52I don't need to apologize.
03:54I just want to see your face.
03:58Not so bad, right?
04:03What the fuck is going on?
04:08Calm down.
04:10I was gonna say hi.
04:12Okay, great.
04:14Now say bye.
04:16Bye.
04:19T.J.
04:20T.J.
04:22T.J.
04:24T.J.
04:27T.J.
04:27T.J.
04:33T.J.
04:35T.J.
04:36T.J.
04:37T.J.
04:37T.J.
04:38T.J.
04:38Yeah, okay.
04:38Bet. Yeah.
04:39Catch you later.
04:40Better luck next time.
04:41Man, fuck you.
04:43T.J.
04:43Dawg.
04:44I got news.
04:45Huge news.
04:47We got any strike-from-above tournament.
04:49Holy shit, dude!
04:51Dude, that's huge!
04:52Right? Our first pro league. I mean sponsors gonna be knocking down our doors, and it's in person, so.
04:59Finally get to meet Mars, man.
05:02I mean you really think he's gonna come out of hiding for this?
05:04Yeah, of course you will.
05:05We've been best friends with the guy for years. You more than me.
05:08And how many times has he come up with some bullshit excuse?
05:12Dude, this time's different, alright? We'll just, we'll tell him about the tournament. He'll be psyched.
05:16Just give him a chance. I don't want to fuck up the friendship.
05:18Didn't fuck things up when you and I met each other. And Mars knows that.
05:25Alright, whatever the fuck. We'll do it your way. But the guy's your best friend. You text him about it.
05:32Alright, I'll text him.
05:38Uh, just so you know what you saw with TJ wasn't anything.
05:42No, I know. My brother is a dipshit. A smart girl like he was like, so out of his league.
05:50That's not true. But thanks. And then thanks for inviting me over. And I'll do this a lot.
06:00What? Girl time?
06:02Friend time.
06:19You okay?
06:21Yeah, yeah. I'm... No, but... I... I...
06:29Um...
06:29Um...
06:30So...
06:31There's this guy that I've been talking to forever.
06:37And...
06:37Well, we've never met in person. But he wants to.
06:41Tomorrow.
06:43Oh my god, what?
06:45Uh...
06:46Is he hot?
06:46Um...
06:47I... I don't know what he looks like.
06:49We've met online, so I don't know who he is. I don't even know his real name.
06:54Okay.
06:55Well, you obviously have a crush on this mystery man.
06:59So you should say yes.
07:02Oh my god, girl, why not?
07:05Uh...
07:07Because he thinks I'm a boy.
07:14Uh...
07:16I...
07:16I...
07:17I...
07:17I have...
07:18Simply...
07:18Too many questions.
07:21But first things first.
07:24We...
07:26Need to get you ready...
07:27For this meet cue.
07:32First option.
07:34Go on.
07:35I kinda like this one.
07:37No, absolutely not.
07:41No.
07:42Absolutely not.
07:44Mm-hmm.
07:44Yes!
07:45No.
07:45Trust me.
07:46See the vision.
07:48You look incredible.
07:52Very revealing.
08:01No.
08:02No.
08:07No.
08:11No.
08:16No.
08:18You look beautiful.
08:38wow tracy took your new dog to the groomers would you guys order the try hard special
08:46i don't think i can do this to hell with sadie of course you can now go get your mystery
08:53man
09:18tj hey charlotte what are you what are you doing here is tracy with you yeah yeah tracy sent me
09:27to
09:27to tell you that we're gonna be studying at your house after school okay yeah so that's
09:35the message i'm i'm just gonna gonna go hey wait you uh dropped your phone
09:49by the way you you look sorry i'm late did he show did who show mars
10:00sorry guys went home sick man i knew he would bail on us again
10:20okay spill how's your day mystery man
10:26um it didn't really happen what
10:33stop eavesdropping perv
10:36i can't believe mars bailed on us i told you
10:39he's never gonna show yo we should just register for the tournament as a duo
10:44not a duo corey we're a team he would have showed up if you knew it was at stake
10:53what are you doing i'm just gonna tell him about the tournament if he doesn't want to meet
10:58up then we'll go from there
11:01right
11:02right
11:03right
11:04right
11:05right
11:07right
11:10right
11:36hey can i um can i borrow you for a sec
11:48i know it's you
11:50mars
11:57yeah
11:58i have an extra phone charger
12:01it's inside
12:09i have so many questions starting with what the fuck
12:13followed by
12:14you're a girl
12:16and since when do pretty girls catfish people
12:19you think i'm pretty
12:20i have eyes
12:21okay even if you're way more tj's type than mine
12:24but wait
12:26is this whole thing just some evil elaborate plan to get closer to tj
12:30like are you making a doll out of his hair or something
12:33what you know i
12:35i didn't know who you guys were until today
12:38and then when i saw tj standing there
12:41i just
12:42couldn't go through with it
12:43i mean you could have just told the truth
12:45it's not that simple
12:47you two have been my best friends for years
12:52my only friends
12:56do you hate me
12:59no
13:02no i'm glad to finally know who you are
13:06really
13:09yeah
13:10bring it in man
13:18mind interrupting something
13:24looks like you two are getting friendly
13:25no
13:26and we were just talking about how we're both um
13:30cancer sons
13:31yeah i mean we gotta hug out all this emotion
13:35i'm gonna go back outside but hey
13:37me you talk about moons later right
13:47so what are you guys really talking about
13:49nothing
13:53secrets don't make friends charlotte
13:58you finally remember my name and now we're friends
14:02we were in my house right
14:05hanging out with my sister
14:08i like the new look by the way
14:12to be fair i liked your old look too
14:15you didn't know i existed until a day ago
14:18oh i saw you
14:22hiding in the corner
14:27i like that you're not hiding anymore
14:37i should go are you coming back i gotta be home for dinner
14:54mars are there
14:56hello
15:01mars
15:08thank god you're awake
15:13i went to a party
15:14cops shut it down
15:15now i'm all wired and shit
15:18hold on i'm so mad at you
15:20i'm sorry i just
15:21i couldn't do it
15:24don't you want to know who we are
15:27i want to know who you are
15:33well
15:34maybe we've already met
15:40dude no way
15:42i would know you in a heartbeat
15:46i bet you can figure out who i am though
15:49come on take some guesses
15:53okay
15:56based on the clues that i've
15:59put together
16:00you're a jock
16:02athletic
16:04confident
16:05getting hotter
16:07hot for sure
16:09nice body
16:10nice smile
16:11uh what the fuck
16:17mars are you
16:19are you attracted to guys
16:22yeah
16:22yeah
16:25i'm gay
16:27oh dude
16:28is that why you didn't show
16:31man we don't care about that shit
16:34hell i'll fight anyone who does
16:36thanks jupiter
16:37yeah man of course
16:39that's awesome
16:41you uh
16:41crushing on any guys at school
16:44i can help
16:46i'm chill with the drama club
16:47there's lots of
16:50cute guys in there
16:51oh thank you
16:52but i'm good
16:54i promise
16:59so how was this party
17:01i was
17:02weird
17:04i was trying to have a good time
17:05but feeling
17:06fucking
17:08lame
17:10and then i realized that
17:14there was someone i wanted to be there
17:18and she wasn't
17:21you were missing
17:23a girl
17:26yeah
17:29she's different from
17:30the ones i usually go for
17:33she's quiet
17:35shy
17:38i just
17:40makes me think there's a whole world inside of her
17:42you know
17:42and i just
17:44want to get her to let me in
17:48what you should do is get some sleep
17:53yeah you're probably right
17:55good night jupiter
17:56hey wait
17:57uh before you go
17:59you know
18:00tracy and
18:02tj
18:03they're not great
18:07they're having a party
18:08tomorrow night
18:08and uh
18:09nuttun and i are going
18:12you should come
18:13we can
18:13we can run that meet up again
18:20i'll see what i can do
18:37are you still texting mystery man
18:41i wish you would just tell me who it is so i can help
18:45no i'm i'm still figuring out how to tell him
18:48okay do i have to say this again
18:49charlotte you are stunning
18:51if this crush doesn't work out
18:53you can have your pick of literally any guy here
19:03okay
19:04almost
19:05any guy
19:06one that is actually worth your time
19:10don't forget
19:11party planning at my place after school
19:13and we will try to steer clear
19:15of my manwhore brother
19:35hey charlotte
19:38you are looking for my sister
19:44she's not here
19:46practice is running long
19:49oh um
19:51i can wait
19:53i guess
20:01what were you playing
20:03strike from above
20:06you game
20:08and dabble
20:11you want to come dabble upstairs
20:20play around with me
20:21play around with me
20:25come on
20:41you okay
20:41you okay
20:43yeah it's just
20:45i usually play on my computer
20:46yeah same here
20:48but uh
20:49this setup's better for co-op
20:50so
20:52so what do you say we uh
20:53run some duos and see what we're like as a team
20:59or we could do player versus player
21:03pvp
21:06i like your style
21:08but we should raise the stakes
21:10raise the stakes
21:11yeah
21:13the winner
21:14gets to ask the loser
21:16a question of their choosing
21:19nothing off limits
21:28you overthink a lot don't you
21:31you've always been like that
21:34i thought you could only ask a question if you win
21:40all right
21:41bye
21:44did you clear
21:47i think i'm gonna go with her
21:54don't stop
21:55you should have parried there
22:04oh thank you
22:22don't stop
22:23yes
22:23wait what
22:25holy shit
22:27you beat me
22:29no
22:31uh hey
22:32maybe it's easier on the tv
22:35no way
22:36no i've only seen one other player pull that move
22:42i learned it on reddit
22:46okay
22:48and i guess you beat me fair and square
22:50so
22:51what's your question
22:56um
22:58do you have a celebrity crush
23:00come on
23:01no softballs
23:02you gotta have a better one than that
23:07what
23:10we've gone to school together for years tj
23:13just cause you don't know anything about me doesn't mean i'm clueless about you
23:19ouch
23:22i guess i deserve it though
23:26i wish i had talked to you sooner
23:32so
23:33tell me
23:35what do you really want to know
23:40go on
23:43ask me
23:46do you have a crush on someone at our school
23:48yes
23:53ask me another
23:57who is she
24:01well that should be obvious
24:05i'm not very good at hiding it
24:15those cheerleader bitches actually fucking dropped me
24:23ew tj
24:24why are your sex lights on
24:26they're not my sex
24:26um
24:27that's not what i was
24:28oh my god
24:29jacy
24:30uh
24:30sharp why don't you head to my room
24:31and start making a playlist for tonight
24:33i will be
24:33right there
24:34yeah
24:35yeah
24:35okay
24:38are you alright
24:39oh yeah it's just a bruised ass
24:41i'll be fine
24:49you can literally
24:49go for
24:50any other girl
24:51why are you only thirsty over my friends
24:53historically because it pisses you off
24:57but this is different
24:59okay so that's it then
25:02you're admitting to liking charlotte
25:07what would you say if i was
25:11all i'm gonna say is i don't think she's interested
25:15is there someone else
25:18oh come on trace you don't have to tell me who
25:21just tell me if i'm wasting my time
25:24she's texting another guy
25:28fine
25:29then you have nothing to worry about
25:31right
25:32so remember that
25:33when she sleeps over tonight
25:35relax
25:37charlotte and i are just friends
25:40nothing more
26:00oh my god
26:02charlotte oh finally
26:03you
26:03look amazing
26:06happy official birthday
26:07thank you
26:09who you need a drink
26:15who are you texting
26:16mars
26:17you said he might show up
26:19oh
26:20did he now
26:21yup
26:39okay
26:41oh my god did you guys all just see that
26:43look at this little virgin
26:45she thinks tj's fuck me eyes are for her
26:47when are you gonna stop humiliating yourself huh
26:50what are you guys talking about
26:52oh uh we were just talking about how we're gonna spice this party up a little bit
26:56maybe play some spin the bottle
26:58but you can just watch virgin
27:01she can play
27:02stop being a bitch at my party sadie
27:04yeah
27:05i'll play if charlotte plays
27:14okay so i'm gonna spin to see who goes first
27:17and then we're gonna go counterclockwise
27:19obviously siblings can't kiss
27:21that's fucking gross
27:22but everyone else is fair game
27:25don't chicken out prude
27:32you know first big guy
27:38oh wow
27:40nice
27:42you ready for this
27:43just kiss me weirdo
27:47oh god
27:49wow
27:54it's disgusting
27:56okay let's keep this moving
27:58tj it's your turn
28:06it's me
28:07no it's in the middle
28:09doesn't that mean that tj gets to pick
28:23wow it's her first kiss
28:30can i kiss you
28:32you
28:44you
28:46you
28:48you
29:00you
29:01you
29:15TJ, what the hell was that?
29:22Nothing, just a game.
29:24Okay, Monopoly is a game.
29:26That was like, softcore porn.
29:31Charlotte?
29:39Um, I'm gonna be right back.
29:59It's me.
30:02Can I come in?
30:05Yeah.
30:12I don't know what to say.
30:14Just be honest with me.
30:18Do you have feelings for my brother?
30:23I'm so sorry, Tracy.
30:24I didn't mean for this to happen.
30:31Charlotte, you're literally still texting Mystery Man.
30:34It's not what you think.
30:36You take it from me?
30:38There's nothing my brother hates more than a liar.
30:43Did something happen?
30:47Our dad cheated on our mom.
30:52She could come out, but she still hasn't recovered.
31:00Neither has TJ.
31:02So when it comes to lying and sneaking around, he doesn't forgive.
31:09So if you really are into my brother, you need to drop Mystery Man.
31:25Got you now, two-timing virgin skank.
31:33Hey.
31:34I know what you're gonna say, and I'm working on telling him.
31:38I was actually gonna ask if Tracy had said anything about me, but...
31:41I mean, yeah, dude, what the fuck?
31:43Like, especially after that kiss?
31:45It's not alright, bro.
31:47Okay, well, how would you tell him?
31:49I would just do it.
31:51Like, do you wanna wait until the tournament and just fuck up his game?
31:53No, of course not.
31:55Because that would fuck up the friendship, too.
31:56You know that.
31:59Yeah, well, I'm also worried about Tracy.
32:02It's not just you and TJ anymore.
32:03He's my best friend's brother.
32:07Look, I know there is a lot on your plate,
32:10but if you don't tell TJ,
32:14I'm gonna tell him that we should enter the tournament as a duo.
32:17What?
32:18Look, I'm sorry, dude.
32:20But if you can't even be honest with your teammates,
32:23you can't be on the team.
32:29Bye, guys.
32:30Have a good night.
32:32Bye, guys.
32:33Bye, guys.
32:35Bye, guys.
32:47Bye, guys.
32:50Bye, guys.
32:50Bye, guys.
32:54Bye, guys.
33:15TJ, what are you doing here?
33:16Sorry, I thought I heard a phone.
33:18Is yours in here?
33:19My phone?
33:20It's in Tracy's room.
33:31Okay, you can turn around.
33:35Why did you just barge in here?
33:38Earlier.
33:41Was that really your first kiss?
33:46Hey, come on, you can tell me.
33:48Can I?
33:49I thought it was just a game to you.
33:51Yeah, well, I lied.
33:54My sister was right there.
33:59It wasn't just a game.
34:03Charlotte, not to me.
34:06Maybe that kiss made me realize that all of your firsts, I want them to be with me.
34:25We shouldn't do this right now.
34:27It's late, okay?
34:28We should go to bed.
34:28Okay.
34:45Let me guess.
34:47Tracy's drunk ass was passed out.
34:50And she locked her bedroom door?
34:53Yeah, she always does that during parties.
34:56Guess you're stuck with me.
35:05TJ, we should really discuss...
35:12S-sleeping arrangements.
35:15That one's easy.
35:17I have a bed.
35:18We both fit in it.
35:20Call them soft.
35:24Um...
35:24Don't you...
35:26want to share a bed with me?
35:40Wait, what are you doing?
35:41I'm going to go sleep on the couch.
35:42You don't have to do that.
35:43I can sleep on the couch.
35:44Charlotte.
35:46I'm trying to be chivalrous here.
35:49But I want you...
35:55I want you to stay.
36:02Okay.
36:04I'll stay with you.
36:20So how'd a girl like you get someone to video games?
36:24Would you ask a boy that question?
36:26Come on.
36:29Okay.
36:33Um...
36:33Video games give me the chance to be someone else.
36:38Someone braver.
36:42Making friends...
36:43was harder for me than most people.
36:47I don't know what's wrong with me.
36:48There's nothing wrong with you, Charlotte.
36:56The moment I laid eyes on you...
36:59I felt like I knew you.
37:04I can't explain it.
37:05It's like...
37:06we weren't starting from the beginning.
37:11We were already close.
37:13You're someone I know...
37:15I can trust completely.
37:17DJ...
37:18I just...
37:18I really want to kiss you.
37:20Right now.
37:28Okay.
37:46Sorry.
37:47I know I'm probably not a good kisser.
37:49No.
37:50No, it's not that.
37:51It's...
37:56It's...
37:56It's just it's never felt like that before.
37:59Like what?
38:03Like I'm going to keep kissing you for the rest of my life.
38:12Can I just hold you for the rest of my life?
38:17Yeah.
38:19Yeah.
38:20Yeah.
38:48Nice.
39:20Here. Our final guilt trip to get you to play in the tournament. TJ designed it. You wanted it to
39:27be a surprise for you.
39:29Actually, I'm going to tell him right now, as soon as he gets here.
39:35Good. Proud of you, dog.
39:38I see someone still sledding it up all over the school.
39:43Are you going to keep fucking your way around every guy on campus or just the football players?
39:49What's wrong with you?
39:50Seriously, Sadie, that was way too far.
39:53Here's your phone, Char.
39:55Oh, you're finally meeting Mystery Man?
39:58Crazy.
39:59Jupiter? Is that like a nickname? That's kinky.
40:02Wait, Jupiter? Like TJ's video game character?
40:06What do you mean, TJ's video game?
40:09Another tackle? Third time's the charm.
40:17Why is everyone by my locker?
40:19Oh my god, it's you.
40:21You're Jupiter.
40:23The mystery man that Charlotte is talking to is Jupiter, aka TJ.
40:30Charlotte.
40:34You're Mars?
40:37Here I was, thinking that you're just talking to some rando, but no, it's so much weirder than that.
40:42You're a catfish.
40:45Charlotte, is that true?
40:47No, no, I swear that it wasn't.
40:49I didn't know that you were Jupiter until I saw you that day waiting for me.
40:52And then you just kept lying to me.
40:53I was trying to find the right time to tell you, and I was going to.
40:56Right now. That's why I was at your locker.
40:58Cora can back me up!
41:02Are you fucking kidding me?
41:04You knew.
41:06Dog, I found out myself, okay?
41:08And I wanted to tell you, but it was Charlotte's decision.
41:12So you were both in on it?
41:18You two deserve each other.
41:20TJ.
41:21TJ.
41:49TJ's not here.
41:50I know.
41:51He's at practice.
41:53I came to see you.
41:57It's bad enough that I like your brother, and then lie to him.
42:05But I lied to you, too.
42:08When you were nothing but nice to me.
42:12And so, I just wanted to apologize.
42:19Even if you still hate me.
42:29Wait.
42:36I don't hate you.
42:39But I do appreciate the apology.
42:44All this time,
42:47my brother was your mystery man.
42:54And you.
42:57Or the person he's told me about all these years.
43:01His best friend.
43:05I know it seems like the world is over.
43:10But you can fix this.
43:31Voice changer disabled.
43:36TJ, are you there?
43:43I don't want to talk, Mark.
43:47Charlotte.
43:48You don't have to say anything back.
43:49Just please, let me explain.
43:56When we first met years ago,
44:00I didn't have any friends.
44:05The only thing that I was good at was video games,
44:08but when I logged on,
44:10I was told to go away because I was a girl.
44:14And so, I started using a voice changer.
44:19And it gave me a way to make friends,
44:21but as a boy.
44:24And it seemed harmless.
44:28And it was until it wasn't.
44:38I spent years
44:41liking Mars
44:42more than I liked Charlotte.
44:45And you were the first person
44:47to make me feel like both parts of me matter.
44:50And that's when I knew that I wasn't...
44:59But that doesn't matter anymore.
45:04All that I can hope for now
45:10is to get my best friend back.
45:24I'm going to the tournament with Corey tomorrow.
45:27And Tracy's going to be there to cheer us on.
45:31Will you be there?
45:35Please.
45:37Please.
45:53Jupiter has left the chat.
46:15He's not coming out of his room.
46:17Well, it's too late to register as a duo.
46:20Once they find out we're missing a member,
46:22they'll disqualify us.
46:23I'm so sorry, Corey.
46:25It's okay.
46:26Going pro is probably overrated anyway.
46:29Come here, you big doofus.
46:34What was that for?
46:37You were too sad.
46:38I didn't like it.
46:40Pretty hypocritical, don't you think?
46:46You're allowed to date my friends,
46:48but I can't be interested in yours?
46:54It's about time.
46:57We're good, man.
46:58I'm happy for you.
47:02Let's go in the car.
47:11I wish I could just hit reset.
47:14Start over like a video game.
47:16Life's not a game, Charlotte.
47:22Last night you were about to say something
47:25before you started talking about the tournament.
47:28What was it?
47:29It doesn't matter.
47:30I think it does.
47:35Why?
47:41Losing the girl that became my everything broke me.
47:46But losing my best friend?
47:50That almost killed me.
47:55Then I realized I was being an idiot.
47:58I didn't have to pick.
48:07I want you in my life.
48:11Both of you.
48:12All of you.
48:18I love you, Charlotte.
48:23I love you, too.
48:40You ready to win this tournament?
48:43You're playing?
48:45Hell yeah, I'm playing.
48:52Yeah.
48:54Yeah, let's go win this.
48:57Pretty sure I already did.
48:58kinds of games.
49:01I love you.
49:05I love you, philus.
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