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00:14wow these chef ming people really know their way around a walk they should change the name of this
00:18dish to egg foo yum they were on their game tonight i'm telling you you should try the
00:24poo-poo platter i'm sorry the what platter how do you think that's funny and still hold down a job
00:38i'm complicated
00:42man i would love some dessert i gotta have something sweet yeah me too
00:47all we got are these fortune cookies boy the chinese really dropped the ball when it came to
00:51the desserts huh i know it's like what you can't uh jam a fortune into a piece of fudge cake
00:59oh you know what i could totally go for right now that new frozen fudge blast from quickie burger
01:06what are you doing my baby wants a frozen fudge blast my baby's getting a frozen fudge blast
01:12no no no forget it it's 10 o'clock already and you're in your bad underwear
01:20that's all right i'll just hit the drive-through is it inconvenient sure but being married means
01:25sometimes doing things that you don't want to do i hope you'll keep that in mind during our no-no
01:30time
01:38later
01:39budge
01:47budge
01:48welcome to quickie burger may i take your order
01:50Yeah, two Frozy Fudge Blasts.
01:52Will that be all?
01:53Yeah, I think that'll, uh...
01:55Ah, who we kidding? Throw in a number four.
01:59Anything else?
02:00Uh, does the number four have quickie curlies?
02:03No, the number three does.
02:05All right, then I'll take a number three.
02:07So cancel the four and substitute a three?
02:10When did you hear the word cancel?
02:13Give me both.
02:14May I bucket size you for an extra 70 cents?
02:18My man, I like the cut of your jib.
02:23Yes, bucket size me.
02:26That's 1244. Pull to the front window.
02:28Gotcha.
02:35Okay, you're not starting.
02:37Come on, don't do this now. Don't do this.
02:40You're doing this. You're doing this.
02:41You're doing this. You son of a mother.
02:52Sir, you're gonna have to pull forward now.
02:54Yeah, I just got a little problem here, okay?
02:55One sec.
02:57Hey, Foxy, nice legs.
03:02Okay, first things first.
03:04The front of the engine gets very hot.
03:07Sir, please pull your car forward.
03:09Okay, guy, you just gotta give me a second.
03:11You're holding on my line, and I'm gonna need you to please pull your car forward.
03:14Okay, I know that, and I'm gonna need you to stop saying that, okay?
03:17Now shut it.
03:20You shut it.
03:23What?
03:24Please pull your car forward.
03:26You know what? Do me a favor. Say it one more time. I dare you.
03:30Yeah, I didn't think so.
03:32Please pull your car forward.
03:33You know what? That's it.
03:34Huh? You don't like it. How about that?
03:39That's all you got, lady?
03:40No, I got a lot more.
03:41Ooh, that felt good.
03:43Oh, yeah?
03:43Did a feather just land on me?
03:45Yeah.
03:45Please pull your car forward.
03:47Please pull your car forward.
03:48Shut up.
03:48Please pull your car forward.
03:50Shut up.
03:51Shut up.
03:52My eyes are getting weary.
03:55My back is getting tight.
03:58I'm sitting here in traffic on the Queensborough Bridge tonight.
04:03But I don't care, because all I want to do
04:08is cash my check and drive right home to you.
04:13Because baby, all my life, I will be driving home to you.
04:36Unbelievable.
04:38Here you are.
04:39What happened?
04:40I was worried.
04:41What happened?
04:41Our piece of crap car broke down right in the middle
04:43of the grapity, grapity, grap, grap thing.
04:47I had to call Spence.
04:48Come pick me up.
04:49Hey, Carrie.
04:51You look good.
04:54Are you okay?
04:55Yeah, I'm fine.
04:56Just that our desserts are totally melted.
04:57You might as well just throw them out.
04:59Yeah, well, don't throw them out.
05:01You never realize how damn smooth your legs are.
05:05Okay, Norman, time to calm down.
05:07I swear.
05:08I'm through with that car.
05:09Let's just get rid of it and get a new one.
05:10Doug, come on.
05:11We've been through this before.
05:12We cannot get a new car right now.
05:15Besides, you can't just sell the old car.
05:18It's got too much of our lives in it.
05:19I mean, going to Palisades Park, getting chased by bikers,
05:22and I watched you make out with Sue Mazetzky in that car.
05:29Where were you?
05:33The point is, you can't just dump a big piece of our history.
05:37I'll buy the car before I let that happen.
05:38Spence, forget it.
05:39Nobody's buying anything because we are not getting rid of it.
05:41Why not?
05:42Because, Doug, your union is in the middle of contract negotiations.
05:46So?
05:47So?
05:47You don't know how it's going to come out.
05:49We cannot afford it right now.
05:52I guess.
05:54Listen, we've waited this long.
05:55We'll just tape the old car back together.
05:57It'll be good as new.
05:59And just in case, let's drive with some pants on for a while, okay?
06:03Okay.
06:04All right.
06:06Well, my work is done.
06:07I'm out of here.
06:09All right.
06:09Well, thanks, Spence.
06:10Yeah, thanks again, man.
06:11Oh, hey, don't worry about it.
06:12You're my butt.
06:15So, what do you say we take those desserts up to the bedroom
06:18and make a little mess?
06:19I don't need desserts to make a mess in the bedroom.
06:23Well, come on, you big slob.
06:25Oh, you so nasty.
06:26Yeah.
06:31Spence, go home.
06:33All right.
06:33Take care.
06:39If a great car's what you want, then look no more.
06:42Just have a beer.
06:43Because we're all parked right here in our auto store.
06:45I see them here.
06:46And we're slashing all our prices to the bone.
06:49Yeah, we said bone.
06:52So get your wife or hubby on the phone.
06:55We'll hope they're alone.
06:56And if you're ready to step up to a new car, van, or truck,
07:02then you'll love Octoberpalooza, where a good deal's what we'll do's ya.
07:13Hey, guy.
07:14Got a few boxes of brochures for ya.
07:15Oh, finally.
07:16Just got a sign right here.
07:19What you got?
07:20Some kind of sale going on?
07:23Actually, it's an Octoberpalooza.
07:25Oh, palooza.
07:27What's with that dealie?
07:29When anybody buys a truck, it's 30 seconds to grab as many dollar bills as they can.
07:33Man, that could not look more humiliating.
07:36And I'm a grown man who has to wear shorts for a living.
07:43Wow.
07:44Now that is a ride.
07:46Uh-huh.
07:47Car of the year.
07:48Looks great in silver, too.
07:50Yeah.
07:50Eight cylinders, 240 horses, 16-inch wheels, and a winch.
07:56You do a lot of tow-in', Doug?
07:59I can't.
08:00Not with the car we have.
08:01Although there are a lot of things I wish I could tow.
08:05Well, you're in the market for a new car?
08:07Well, sort of.
08:07But my wife thinks we should wait a few weeks.
08:09We're not quite ready yet.
08:11Eh, well, wifey knows best.
08:12You gotta be ready.
08:13Better to pay a little more.
08:15Heavy peace of mind.
08:16What, it's gonna cost more in a few weeks?
08:18Well, it's not a Novemberpalooza.
08:20Am I right?
08:22Okay.
08:23What?
08:25How much more?
08:26Well, it's hard to say.
08:27Maybe a couple Gs.
08:28That's if we still have it.
08:30But this is the last all-silver 4x4 with the towing package and roof rack on the whole
08:34East Coast.
08:35Last one, huh?
08:36Mm-hmm.
08:37I don't think it's gonna last long.
08:39I hear Danny Aiello's people are heading down right now to take a look at it.
08:42Danny Aiello?
08:43Mm.
08:47Look, I just got an update from the union, and as your shop's through it, I've been asked
08:50to make the following announcements.
08:52As of 4.18 p.m., negotiations officially broke down with no new talks scheduled.
08:59Anybody seen Heffernan?
09:02Hey, is New Crush Mel included, or what?
09:07They said no to the vesting proposal, no to the overtime proposal.
09:12Yes to the fog lights, yes to the mountain packers.
09:16And they refused to sign off on any expanded medical benefits.
09:24Tighten your belt, people.
09:26As of the end of work today, we're on strike.
09:30The bloom from my wild Irish rose, my dear red rose.
09:53Okay, I heard everything you said, as have the neighbors.
09:59Now, let me respond.
10:01Given the strike, this was clearly not the best day for us to buy a new car.
10:06Now, I know the word us is a hot-button issue right now.
10:10I should have kept you in the loop.
10:12And yes, my genitals should be put in some sort of vice.
10:16But that aside, this is a blessing in disguise.
10:19Look, we needed a new car, got one.
10:21P.S. Leased on the very favorable Palooza conditions.
10:27Now, in closing, I love you.
10:30I am now available to make love to you.
10:33And it is my great hope that you will join me.
10:38We're returning the car.
10:40Really?
10:41Why would you want to do that? Did you show her the roof rack, Doug?
10:43Yeah, she pushed my head into it.
10:46Look, it's nothing against the truck.
10:48The truck is gorgeous.
10:49I mean, it's, uh, what, what do you guys say?
10:51Cherry?
10:52Because it is cherry.
10:54You know what else it is?
10:55It's mint.
10:56Hey, mint cherry, let's go for some ice cream.
11:00But seriously, uh, Marty, Marty, Marty.
11:03Um, unfortunately, my husband's union went on strike today,
11:08so we're gonna have to return it
11:09because the payments are a bit too much for us right now.
11:11Got the receipt right here,
11:13so is there a cashier's window I go to,
11:16bursar's office, what?
11:17Yeah, I, you know, I, I don't want to be the bad guy here,
11:19but I'm sorry, I couldn't possibly take the car back now.
11:22Once those tires hit the pavement,
11:23it appreciates big time.
11:25Is, uh, Danny Aiello still interested, or...
11:28Mmm, no.
11:31Oh, come on, come on, be, be reasonable here.
11:34I mean, it's only got 18 miles on it.
11:35That's what, a couple of test drives.
11:37And I only used a winch twice.
11:39Okay, look, I tell you what,
11:42I can't take the car back.
11:43Come back tomorrow, I'll put you in the dollar booth,
11:45I'll cheat the timer, give you a few extra seconds, huh?
11:48And here's a tip, lick your arms.
11:50The bills will stick to you better that way.
11:52Okay, he's not getting in that booth, okay?
11:54He's, he's afraid of small spaces.
11:56I can't even use the bathroom on an airplane.
11:58That's why we can't go to Hawaii.
12:00Okay.
12:01Sweetie, why, why'd you let me talk to this nice man alone?
12:04Okay.
12:04All right, baby.
12:06Listen, I'm gonna, um,
12:09leave my cards on the table here.
12:11My husband was in an industrial accident.
12:15Luckily, he doesn't remember it,
12:17but bottom line is,
12:19I don't think he's even legally allowed
12:21to buy a car anymore.
12:25You know, he only, uh, could count to eight.
12:30Good luck with that.
12:34Hey, you know what?
12:35You are way overreacting to this situation.
12:37How am I overreacting?
12:39Okay, first of all, I didn't even buy the car, okay?
12:41I, I only leased it.
12:42It's the same thing.
12:43No, it isn't.
12:44It is.
12:45No, it isn't.
12:45Okay, all right.
12:46Tell me the difference.
12:48Okay, well, when one buys a car,
12:51per se,
12:53if you will,
12:56one owns it.
12:57Whereas when one leases a car,
12:59one owns it,
13:00but
13:01you gotta give it back.
13:06Do me a favor.
13:08Count to nine.
13:10This whole conversation is pointless
13:11because the strike's gonna end in a week,
13:13two weeks tops.
13:14How do you know that, Doug?
13:15Because I'm in the union.
13:19Okay, union man,
13:20what are the issues?
13:21Do you even know what they are?
13:22Yes.
13:23Okay, name one issue.
13:25Festing.
13:26Festing is a huge issue.
13:28You should see all the people.
13:29They're like,
13:29hey, what is with this vesting?
13:33Vesting meaning what?
13:35Vesting.
13:36To vest.
13:37To be vested.
13:39I don't know how much clearer I can make this.
13:40I really don't.
13:42The point is,
13:43it's very important
13:44and the company is gonna eventually cave in on it.
13:46Doug, how do you know they're gonna cave, huh?
13:48What if this thing drags on for a month,
13:51two months?
13:51It can't drag on.
13:52You've seen our commercial.
13:53IPS delivers the globe.
13:55Who else is gonna deliver the globe
13:56if we don't, huh?
13:57FedEx?
14:00Tight operation.
14:01Yes, it is.
14:03Look, Carrie,
14:04the strike is gonna end, okay?
14:06And we're gonna be fine in the meantime.
14:08Spence is gonna buy the old car.
14:09That's $200 right there.
14:11You can pick up some overtime
14:13and I can do stuff around the house,
14:16save some money there.
14:18I guess.
14:19Come on.
14:19Don't be mad at me.
14:22Uh-oh.
14:24Uh-oh.
14:25Did you leave the puppy gate open?
14:28Don't.
14:28No, I think you left the puppy gate open.
14:32Doug, don't do the puppy thing.
14:34The puppy's coming.
14:35You cannot stop him.
14:36Don't.
14:37Stop.
14:38Get off of me.
14:40Stop it.
14:40Oh, oh, the puppy likes you.
14:42Oh, yeah.
14:42Rub his belly.
14:43No.
14:44Rub his belly.
14:45Rub his belly.
14:46Oh, yeah.
14:47Oh, yeah.
14:49Oh, that's the spot.
14:50Yeah.
14:52Okay, now, if she stalls out, don't panic.
14:54Just throw it back into neutral,
14:56step on the gas,
14:56pop her into first.
14:58She'll lurch pretty violently,
14:59but you're back in business.
15:01Gotcha.
15:02Now, once in a rare while,
15:03instead of stalling,
15:04the damn thing will take off
15:05like a frickin' rocket.
15:08Okay, just pop it back into neutral,
15:10blast the heat,
15:11and pull up the emergency brake.
15:13It's as good as done.
15:14And the odor you know about,
15:16so that should just about do it.
15:17Uh, wow.
15:18I can't believe she's actually mine.
15:20You sure you want to do this?
15:22Absolutely.
15:22Okay.
15:23Oh, hey, hey, hey.
15:24I got a bumper sticker.
15:27Just give me my coffee,
15:29and no one gets hurt.
15:32I don't get it.
15:33You want other drivers to give you coffee?
15:36Hey, you're overthinking it.
15:38It's just funny.
15:42Oh, coffee, coffee.
15:43Yeah, all right.
15:46Hey, I'll call you later, buddy.
15:47All right, buddy.
16:03Hey, there she is, overtime girl.
16:05It's time and a half.
16:08How was your day?
16:09Jam-packed with the usual misery.
16:11Only now it lasts 11 hours instead of eight.
16:15Great.
16:17So you're ironing, huh?
16:19That I am.
16:20Just thought I'd save us a little money
16:21on our dry-cleaning bill.
16:22Plus, bonus, I get to fondle your delicates.
16:26So is this the done pile or the not done pile?
16:34Huh.
16:34Oy.
16:36It's so hot from the subway.
16:38I'm just gonna go take a cool shower.
16:41Uh-oh.
16:42Doug!
16:45What is going on here?
16:47Well, you know how you said
16:48you wanted to rip out the old shower tile?
16:51Yeah, I did.
16:53Only in my plan,
16:54I would have replaced it with new tile.
16:58I intend to.
16:59They just didn't have the right color in stock.
17:00And you couldn't have checked that
17:02before you ripped this out?
17:04I could have,
17:05but in my defense,
17:05I didn't.
17:10Come on, Karen.
17:11I'm just trying to save us some money here.
17:12I'll get it done tomorrow.
17:14Okay.
17:14In the meanwhile,
17:15I'll walk around smelling like the F train.
17:17Well, hey, how about this?
17:19You go downstairs,
17:20I'll wash you in the sink like a little baby.
17:23Well, better yet,
17:23throw in a white T-shirt,
17:24I'll blast you with the hose, huh?
17:26Always a crowd pleaser.
17:29No, thanks.
17:30I'm just gonna go watch some TV.
17:34Uh-oh.
17:36Doug, why is HBO all squiggly?
17:39I canceled it.
17:40You canceled HBO?
17:41Yes, I did.
17:42That's 12 bucks more a month
17:43than our pocketbook.
17:45Well, why didn't you cancel
17:46your stupid gold sports package?
17:48I couldn't.
17:49It came out of free T-shirt.
17:50I don't even know how that would work.
17:51Oh.
17:52What if it seemed like
17:53you're the one who bought the truck
17:54and I'm the only one suffering?
17:55What do you mean, the only one?
17:57I've lost Arliss.
17:58You don't think that stings?
17:59I don't know how many times
18:00I can say it, Carrie.
18:01I'm sorry.
18:01I got us in over our heads.
18:03But you know what?
18:03Yelling at me is not gonna help.
18:04Well, that's all I have.
18:07Try to remember,
18:07this isn't easy on me either, right?
18:09I had no job.
18:11I'm on that damn picket line
18:12six hours a day in the blazing sun.
18:14And you know what?
18:15Every day I die
18:16a little bit more inside.
18:18All right, if you want double cheese,
18:20now's the time to say it.
18:23My man, you are a genius on the grill.
18:25Oh, you are too kind.
18:27You up for a little Frisbee?
18:29Hey, if you throw it at me,
18:30what, I'm not gonna catch it?
18:32You like Frisbee?
18:33You kill her on the grill?
18:34Well, if Kelly ever goes down,
18:36I just might have to make you my woman.
18:38I liked it very much.
18:43Oh, thank God you're here.
18:46Hey.
18:47What's up, man?
18:48The car broke down on Austin Street.
18:49I don't remember what you said.
18:51What do I do
18:52when the steering wheel
18:53only turns to the right?
18:54Oh, you know what?
18:55It sounds like you're losing
18:56power steering fluid.
18:57All right, here's what you gotta do.
18:59Get power steering fluid.
19:02Okay, gotcha.
19:04Oh, uh, Doug,
19:06did you catch my check yet?
19:08Yeah.
19:10All righty.
19:14Doug?
19:16Hey, what are you doing here?
19:17I thought I'd pick you up
19:18on my way home.
19:19What's going on here?
19:21Nothing.
19:21We're just, you know,
19:23picketing.
19:27Doug, honey, baby,
19:28I'm gonna,
19:28I'm gonna level with you here.
19:30Um,
19:32I came by
19:33because I kind of felt bad
19:34about yesterday
19:35and I wanted to support you.
19:36Oh, thank you.
19:37Yeah, let me finish.
19:40And now,
19:41I just want to lash out
19:43and hurt you.
19:44Come on,
19:45I have to be down here picketing.
19:46It's a union rule.
19:47All this other crap
19:48is just a way to get our
19:49minds off this thing
19:50that's hanging over us.
19:52I mean, believe me,
19:53everybody else here
19:54is pretty freaked.
19:57Yeah, you see that?
19:58I skipped that sucker.
20:00I'm going pro.
20:01You're so in denial.
20:04What'd you do that for?
20:05Because you're tan
20:06and barbecuing
20:08with all your friends
20:08while I'm stuck
20:09in an office for 12 hours
20:11with a weird copy guy
20:12who keeps wanting
20:13to show me his poems.
20:15Honey, would you,
20:16what do you want from me?
20:18I have to be down here.
20:19I told you.
20:21What is gonna make you
20:22feel better about this?
20:23Just tell me
20:24and I'll do it.
20:31You gotta lick your arms, baby!
20:46So I guess I just got crazy
20:48and I'm...
20:49I'm sorry.
20:51Okay?
20:54Come on, talk to me.
20:58I just don't like being hit.
20:59I know.
21:00I know.
21:00That was so wrong of me
21:01and I'll never do it again.
21:05What did you tell people?
21:06I said a cop act into me
21:08but I don't think
21:08they believed it.
21:09Sure they did.
21:10No, they did.
21:12Come on, I'm sorry.
21:15So will you take my order now?
21:17No.
21:18Come on.
21:19You know you want to.
21:24Welcome to Quickie Burger.
21:25May I take your order?
21:27That's my baby.
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