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Bait S01E03-4 (2026) | Full Episodes | Watch Online
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00:10I hear that. I really do. It's just really not a good day to me because it's Eid, so I've
00:14got to stick with family.
00:15Okay. Well, you could have stuck with the family yesterday, but now you've got to deal with the shits long
00:18you've created.
00:18Is it really that bad? A lot of people seem to like the whole action and routine. I reckon it
00:23will help them visualize me as bod.
00:25Okay. Well, there is a lot of chatter. Some people think you're a tough guy. Other people think you're insane.
00:28Hey, this could cost you the role. Oh, fuck.
00:34Saju, have you ever been waiting for me?
00:36Mommy, have you met Felicia? This is the team.
00:38Oh, this is your agent.
00:42Mommy, remember I said wait in a car and I'm going to get the sweet.
00:45No, don't give me a ticket.
00:48Felicia.
00:48Zafika.
00:49Perron.
00:50Same as usual, just babysitting bonnets.
00:52Oh, now when your auntie is waiting for you.
00:53It's a disgrace.
00:54Felicia, you're going to get him the job.
00:56Yes.
00:57If he kills me.
00:59Shaji is just perfect for the job. I'll tell you why.
01:01Okay.
01:01When he was a little boy, he used to say,
01:03Mama, I want a license to kill. Remember, Shaji?
01:06Oh, how specific?
01:08I don't remember that.
01:10Oh, look, he's got in the middle.
01:11Just be a minute, okay?
01:12Bye-bye, Felicia.
01:13Bye, Mr. Shaji.
01:14You didn't tell me if you were Asian, you're a black lady.
01:20Sorry.
01:21You are a black lady.
01:22I know.
01:26What the fuck is this?
01:28You tell me.
01:34Oh, you know what?
01:35I can't get into this right now.
01:36Okay, listen, none of this...
01:38None of this matters, okay?
01:39No one reads the fucking news.
01:41However, this is a big problem.
01:44The person you assaulted, you broke his arm, and now he wants an apology.
01:47Sid said he was going for the giant Buddha's head,
01:49but now he's coming for you with 200,000 followers
01:52and counting, young and brown, your core fan base.
01:55Assaulted?
01:56This man ran at me with a metal object, Felicia.
01:59It was a can of straight paint, huh?
02:01Yeah, you know what I'd say.
02:02I mean, the worst he could have done was tag you.
02:04Okay, fine, just give him his apology.
02:05Okay, good.
02:06All right, so how are you going to do?
02:07Oh, no, you have to apologize.
02:09On a video by end of day, or he's pressing charges.
02:12Listen, it's Ian, so I've got to stick with the family.
02:14My mom usually hosts, but I fucked that up this time.
02:16That's on me.
02:17I can't be dealing with this.
02:18I have to be with the fan today.
02:20I have to make it right.
02:20This is about your career, Shah.
02:22Your credibility in your community,
02:24for the people that you see you're doing all of this for.
02:30Has he got more followers than me?
02:31Shah!
02:34Shah Latif here.
02:35Eve Mubarak to everyone celebrating.
02:37I want to address the incident at the King's Museum last night.
02:40You might have heard about it, or seen it, or I lived it.
02:43And I want you to know that in that moment,
02:45I wasn't thinking at all.
02:46I was acting out of sheer instinct.
02:50Community is the most important thing in the world to me.
02:54And I would never take it for granted.
02:56And there's nothing more painful to me
02:58than to know that I might have hurt a member of my own community.
03:01And to know that I might have betrayed your trust in some way,
03:04hurts me deeply.
03:06You're good, yeah?
03:07Yeah, I'm good, yeah.
03:10So, you've come to visit us lowly villagers.
03:14Oxford educated, but no sense.
03:17Why didn't you attack that young man?
03:18Don't listen to him.
03:20Come, let's take a selfie.
03:22And I want you to know that I'm going to do everything in my power
03:25to make up for it, and to make it right.
03:27Right?
03:29Should have won black.
03:31Hmm?
03:32It would go better with the animal witch's gold palace.
03:35Hmm?
03:36It is my day.
03:37It belongs to all Muslims.
03:39Well, me.
03:39It's mine.
03:40And she took it.
03:41You know one thing she doesn't have?
03:43What?
03:45Her son, Salim.
03:47You know, golden boy.
03:48I stood to buy a big shot.
03:50Always trying to compete with you.
03:52Bad shot.
03:53Probably getting a Russian prostitute pregnant this second.
03:56Don't talk, Salim.
03:56I don't think I would talk.
04:01She doesn't have her main attraction.
04:03You and me can be the stars of the show.
04:05We just...
04:06Come on.
04:08You worried about what Naughty Naila thinks?
04:10Mungy Naila.
04:10Naughty Naila.
04:11Oh, my God.
04:13Mungy Naila.
04:14She always shows skin because she's got no style.
04:17But where is she?
04:18She's probably too busy checking herself out in a mirror
04:20to come host her own party.
04:21I need more fighters.
04:23Such a few.
04:24I need more fighters.
04:26I need more fighters.
04:26I need more fighters.
04:34I need more fighters.
04:34Sameena.
04:35Good morning.
04:36Good morning.
04:37Good morning.
04:38So happy you could come.
04:40We decided to co-host this year.
04:42You have lost a great victory, Tahira.
04:44But you know Naila.
04:46How else did her find her?
04:47She didn't get her.
04:47She didn't have to work.
04:49You're going to make a decoration?
04:50I'm going to have a paint house.
04:53The Quran says charity is a blessing.
04:55Garden where I can, please come here.
04:58Eid Mubarak.
04:59Eid Mubarak.
05:00Eid Mubarak.
05:01Eid Mubarak.
05:01What the fuck?
05:02Don't leave my side.
05:03Okay.
05:04Don't leave my side.
05:05Eid Mubarak.
05:07Eid Mubarak.
05:08He's coming.
05:08Hello ladies.
05:10Eid Mubarak.
05:11Eid Mubarak.
05:12Eid Mubarak.
05:13Where is my?
05:14Where is my?
05:14Sit now.
05:16In Saint Saint.
05:17Oh.
05:17Now he has passed.
05:18You are the eldest.
05:19No, thank you.
05:20I am fine standing.
05:22Baba.
05:22Go in your favor.
05:23Don't come on here.
05:24Yeah?
05:24Is that how you are going to kill us, Bond?
05:26By raising the blood sugar?
05:29Yeah.
05:29I'll mention that to the writers.
05:31Maybe they're single.
05:34Maybe.
05:35Yeah, maybe.
05:35Why don't you do a Pakistani film?
05:36Something with Mubarak in it.
05:38No, no.
05:39You are doing Goro Vidra.
05:40That's good.
05:46Hey, I'm on the spot right now.
05:55Sure.
05:55Good first try.
05:56Good first try.
05:57But I'm going to need you to do another apology video.
06:00First, you forgot to say the words I'm sorry.
06:02Which is kind of key to the whole thing.
06:04He's buff, no?
06:05Keith says he's gone mental.
06:07Yeah, it's fucking hot.
06:08Sorry, can you in my focus, please?
06:10This is the latest.
06:12Well, this guy likes you.
06:15Hmm.
06:17Also, the whole Aladdin outfit and the Bollywood sweet shop,
06:20it's their community like ten times.
06:22It feels like you're begging it.
06:24Maybe down the brow.
06:26I don't get it what is a problem.
06:27Shut up, man.
06:29I'm 22, mate.
06:30What were you trying to get a wife done?
06:32Get it to me sooner rather than later.
06:34This is not going away.
06:36Hi, everyone.
06:37Charlotte Teeth here.
06:39Now, last night at the King's Museum,
06:40a brother and I came into conflict.
06:42Now, I should not have reacted the way that I did.
06:46And the brother in question, perhaps,
06:48should not have run at me with a metal object
06:50the way that he did.
06:52Ruba is a community-led...
06:54It's not fucking community-led.
06:56The fact is, we're all in this together.
06:58And in the future, I promise to use my platform
07:00not to lash out, but to reach out.
07:04Bro.
07:05Ruba is for...
07:07You want some chai or something?
07:10No.
07:11Ruba...
07:11Bro, we good?
07:12I'm good, are you good?
07:13Yeah, I'm good, bro.
07:14We good?
07:15I'm good, are you good?
07:16Yeah, I'm good.
07:18Ruba, not ruba.
07:19What are you doing?
07:19I'm trying to focus, man.
07:20You are distracting me.
07:22Alright.
07:23Yes.
07:23Yo, they've got them little laddus over there
07:25with the pink and green balls on it.
07:26You want them?
07:26Big man, please.
07:27I don't want laddus right now, okay?
07:29I just want to concentrate.
07:30Are you supposed to be holding it on his hand?
07:33Oh, yeah.
07:34Shit.
07:34In a bit, yeah?
07:35Don't bring me no laddus.
07:36Move a fool with a fool with a fool.
07:39Move the big fool.
07:40Move the big fool.
07:41Come on.
07:42Come on.
07:44Here I go.
07:44It's only gone.
07:45It's only gone.
07:46Where have you been?
07:47I've just been checking on Baba and Zofi.
07:49Bastard, you promised you're not going to leave me.
07:51So if I just die standing here alone...
07:54Please.
07:54Please don't do this now.
07:55You left me.
07:56I'm sorry.
07:57I'm going to get up there.
07:58Salim!
07:58Look at Salim!
08:04Look at Salim!
08:10Salim!
08:13Look at Salim!
08:15Salim!
08:16Salim!
08:33Salim!
08:35Salim!
08:36But...
08:37Well, I got to stop!
08:39Oh, my God...
08:39I'm feeling right at...
08:40Look at him, the dancing monkey!
08:42Doing his mother's dirty bidding, making Russian prostitutes pregnant!
08:45Look!
08:46Now he's not, Mummy, that was a joke I just made.
08:48Oh, my gosh, lookopath.
08:50Oh, look at that fresh prey!
08:52Zulfi.
08:53Weakest of us all.
08:54Yeah?
08:55I'm good ma'am, I'm good channel.
08:56Don't leave. Shaju, she's coming.
08:58Don't leave.
08:58Shabeta, can I borrow your money for a minute?
09:00I need my co-host in the kitchen.
09:02Okay, we're just going to...
09:03Okay, okay. No, no, let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go.
09:08All right.
09:09Our KPI is the most interesting thing about this, okay?
09:12It's the retention of the customer base after that discount period, you know?
09:15It's off the charts.
09:16People want more community-driven rideshare options.
09:18Yes, Salim.
09:19Yes.
09:20What are you saying, bro?
09:20Yes.
09:21Look at this guy.
09:22You good?
09:22Yeah.
09:23Come join us, man.
09:24Join us.
09:24I'll be busy.
09:25I've always been doing that anyway.
09:26Yeah, I got you some loaders, bro.
09:28That's why I never got your number.
09:29How you been?
09:30I've been good, bro.
09:30Yeah?
09:31You've been breaking shit.
09:33What do you mean by that?
09:35Glass ceilings.
09:37Try it, man. Try it.
09:38And I got his arm.
09:40It's just a fracture.
09:41Hey, just to bring this back to what we were talking about before you got here.
09:44Yeah.
09:45You know, our number of drivers are growing.
09:46By the day, we'll be in all key five boroughs by June, so...
09:49Move, bro.
09:50Sick idea, innit?
09:51I've been there from day one, I remember.
09:52Bro, I'm so proud of this guy.
09:54Gus Smith is so proud.
09:54And you know what's amazing?
09:56He's always been an entrepreneur.
09:57If anything, he just went from selling grams to Instagram.
10:04Just out of interest, what's your credit situation with the criminal record and everything?
10:08No problems whatsoever.
10:09No issues.
10:10And just for clarity, I didn't go inside for selling mall.
10:14It's not just five-bit of violent disorder.
10:15It was self-defense.
10:17It was really before, in a way.
10:18He's a ride or die, and he was there for me.
10:19Any credit issues, though?
10:20No credit issues because I'm going all in with everything that I've got, right?
10:24So if you need any credit, if you need financing, just talk to me.
10:27Sorry, I was on the impression we were coming in seed round rather than series A.
10:32You see this conversation here?
10:33This is, in fact, the closest he's been to the business.
10:37Right?
10:38In fact, obviously, it's too close.
10:40Okay, give me back my dildos then.
10:44Even for me personally, the most important quality by Amuba is, in fact, the quality of
10:50the relationships.
10:51We're not just there for them when we want, because that's bullshit.
10:55That's fake.
10:56Get the fuck off me, bro.
10:58I don't know.
11:01And anyway, I've always had a passion for customer services.
11:04It's my thing.
11:04That's one thing I picked up in Dubai.
11:06That's what we do best, hospitality.
11:07That's our culture.
11:08One might say it, like, the Muslim way of doing business.
11:11I love the idea.
11:13I'm going to present it to the guys, see what they say.
11:14Well, you're taking this, you're trying to get investment from Dubai.
11:20Yeah, okay.
11:21Yeah.
11:22You been?
11:23No, I'm just saying, you know, Dubai works for people with, you know, all like, with the,
11:27well, I mean, what the fuck's this guy going to do in Dubai, man?
11:30He ain't going to let you in, bro.
11:31You don't want to go there, man.
11:32I'm all in, yeah?
11:33Remember that.
11:37He was disrespectful.
11:38He referred to your quivlar that there was no need.
11:41They lose good.
11:42Shah, got your second apology.
11:44Yeah, that's not going to work.
11:45First of all, what was up with that background?
11:48If you post that, you'll have to issue a second apology for being a rich asshole.
11:51Also, you forgot to say sorry again.
11:54What the first class, Naila?
11:58You taught me that.
12:00Next year, you'll be back at yours, right?
12:01No, absolutely, yes.
12:03Very kind of you to step in this year, Naila.
12:06Taira, don't worry about it.
12:08Everything is fine in the house.
12:12Why?
12:13No, nothing.
12:14It's because I was watching him today and I thought I worry for him, for all of you.
12:22It's so much pressure.
12:24That's very kind of you to worry.
12:25I see a bit of your sister in him.
12:35Does Shahjahan have someone you can talk to?
12:38He has me.
12:39Rukhaya had you too, but she needed more help, right?
12:43She doesn't know anything, she was...
12:46Naila, please.
12:48It's all good.
12:49My son is going to be the next James Bond.
12:51We all couldn't be more proud.
12:57It's okay to talk about these struggles now.
12:59Really?
13:03It's all good.
13:05First class.
13:13What?
13:14How about Shahjahan?
13:14It's all good.
13:15It's all good.
13:16It's all good.
13:17I know.
13:34Okay.
13:36Okay.
13:59Shah, we need that apology.
14:01We're running out of time.
14:02I've literally written it out for you.
14:04Just find a quiet, neutral proof.
14:06Record it and send it back now, before it's too fucking late, okay?
14:14For fuck's sake.
14:33Am I interacting with somebody?
14:35Yeah.
14:36A conversation.
14:39Can you fucking close the door, please?
14:42Is this like you two?
14:44I like her.
14:45Texting.
14:46Wow.
14:47So how long has this been going on?
14:48Six months.
14:48Three months?
14:50Three months?
14:50Okay, so this is nothing.
14:52Can we please not do this in front of Shah?
14:53I'm sure.
14:54I'm not going to tell anyone.
14:55Come here.
14:55Can we not do this in front of Shah?
14:56I came here for you.
14:57But I never asked you to, did I?
14:59But I asked me to.
15:00I never...
15:00Calm down.
15:01I never fucking asked you to.
15:02And this, this whole thing you're doing here, this is what I'm talking about.
15:05This is the whole problem.
15:05So just to clarify, you didn't come in to see Zulfield in for the thing?
15:07No.
15:08Yes.
15:09Does he know, by the way?
15:09Oh, for fuck's sake.
15:11Well, yeah, he's going to find out now, isn't he?
15:12I'm not going to say anything.
15:13I've got your back.
15:14I've got your back.
15:15Look, we don't have to tell anyone.
15:17Let's just be real about what this is because this is something, right?
15:20Me and you both know it.
15:21What does that even mean, bro?
15:24You live a million miles away, okay?
15:26You have a whole life.
15:28You have fucking house keys, car keys.
15:31So many keys, okay?
15:32I have one key.
15:33I can give you keys.
15:34I don't want your keys, okay?
15:35I want mine.
15:36Yo, can I just step in here for a minute and offer maybe a different perspective from
15:39my own more mature experience, yeah?
15:41I want an honest answer from both of you, okay?
15:44Alright?
15:45Alright.
15:45Now, let's say, let's say you've been texting.
15:48There's some emotional ambiguity about where you both stand.
15:52Alright?
15:53Yeah?
15:53You can relate, right?
15:54You send a message, a heartfelt one.
15:57Instead of it going green, it goes grey.
16:00What does that mean to you?
16:02It means you're blocked.
16:05Fuck off, really?
16:06Yeah.
16:07Let me just show you this.
16:08Okay, I'm going to ask you to leave now.
16:10Can I show you this quickly?
16:10No, no, no.
16:11Oi.
16:12Don't say anything to anyone.
16:13I'm chill.
16:16Salim, yeah?
16:20He's not fucking chill.
16:27With Sai gone, who will lead the prayer?
16:30Pasha?
16:31Okay.
16:32He recites beautifully, but I think I should lead.
16:35I will lead.
16:36Seated?
16:37I won't be seated.
16:37Well, it's why think about it, sir.
16:39Let someone else lead!
16:40Listen, you ass-wipes...
16:42I can run circles around you idiots.
16:44I will lead.
16:51By so desperately pursuing the role of Bond,
16:54an icon of the white establishment,
16:56Shah Latifah is exchanging his political art
16:58for vanilla distraction.
17:00And so he joins a long line of brown men
17:02who think that by becoming our oppressor,
17:04he's somehow liberating all of us.
17:05And he puts a filter on his IMDb pic to look more white.
17:19Come on.
17:20Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar.
17:22La ilaha illa Allah.
17:25Allahu Akbar.
17:30Hey, Shah Latifah here.
17:32I was involved in an incident last night
17:34at the King's Museum that was both unfortunate
17:36and avoidable.
17:37And I'm deeply sorry.
17:39Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,
17:41hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
17:41Bismillah ar-Rahman ar-Rahim.
17:45Alhamdulillahi Rabbil Alameen.
17:47Shah Latifah here.
17:48Last night at the King's Museum,
17:49I fucked up a guy running at me with a metal object
17:53and apparently I'm the one who has to apologize.
17:59Hi, Shah Latifah here.
18:01Literally nothing to apologize for.
18:03Trying to save my career and my life.
18:05So I'll fuck you and your little TikTok, you little...
18:12I'll fuck you and your little...
18:13Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah...
18:18No, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah...
18:36oh yeah is it oh yeah hi hi this is Charlotte teeth is it actually yeah is
18:48actually good but I just want to say I'm so so sorry for happening yesterday no
18:56excuses I was banging out of order I just don't know what came over me I
19:02really hope you can find it in in your heart to please forgive me I appreciate
19:10this man I really do I was gonna call my lawyers um but then the fact you called
19:16man oh he's been he's been eating me up the whole day can't tell you how much
19:19this means man legit well do you mind just sending me what you just said I
19:27in a recording sorry I need the engagement bro right I mean like I guess
19:35so nice right appreciate it all right oh and thanks for the follow mate just
19:39remember keep the bid under 90 for the algorithm
19:57yeah what happened I wasn't praying on a chair already
20:14okay okay huh why didn't you sit him down but I know you want to be involved
20:17what the fuck is that supposed to me I'm doing something for yourself don't come
20:20up me you always fucking want to be the hero and you're never uh uh huh
20:25Baba do you get is anyone getting any water I'm going to get a blanket or
20:29something what are you good bro oh are you good are you dumb he's a fucking
20:38diabetic and you're giving him boxes of sweets
20:40Shabbat Bidda
20:41all right all right
20:42shut the fuck off again yeah he's better when I'm not around that's what you're
20:44saying no no what he's not my dad he's your dad
20:46shut you huh shut you you know what you think you're a fucking bad man
20:50oh fucking yeah my people is my how the fuck you're gonna help your people
20:54if you're too busy sucking white people's dicks
20:57it's okay you're just crying about last night bro what you came in to take me you
21:00came for a free fucking meal bro that's not you're giving out your little
21:02business cards that's some sweet little minicap driver
21:05he's been leech man tell the truth he's been leeching off me my whole life
21:08what are you now you're trying to leech off this dickhead bro he doesn't care
21:10about your shitty ideas he's trying to chirp his little sister
21:13what only chirping I love her all right what the fuck man are you fucking are you
21:17mad listen don't listen to him he's lost the fucking plot he's been chatting to a
21:20pig's head in the freezer what in the garage and he's been talking to it
21:24you thought he was talking to a pig's head what if I have what if I have what if I
21:26have better listener than any of you lot
21:28well that's what happens when you're related to you guys I'm not the first family
21:30member to lose my mind
21:34why are you why are you saying the culture to me no no I'm asking why is he saying
21:40that to me but what did I do what I do I'm trying to fucking make a difference
21:43I'm not just sat there fucking complaining about everything will you
21:45not will judge me huh what are you fucking touching me don't touch me I'm
21:49trying to change the world all right so anyone doesn't look at you and think
21:53you're some fucking worthless thinking
21:54get the fuck out of here for I'm not the problem am I she blames you for what
22:00happened to your mum bro shut up
22:17yeah
22:18yeah
22:18yeah
22:18yeah
22:18yeah
22:18yeah
22:18yeah
22:42One mixed brew
22:44Wow
22:45Wow.
22:46One biryani, torpedal, and some naun.
22:52Ah, thank you.
22:53Enjoy your meal.
22:54Let us know if you would like anything else.
22:55Can I get some more water?
22:57Yeah, sure.
23:09Oh my god, Yasmin!
23:12What the fuck?
23:14What are you doing here?
23:16What are you doing here?
23:18Oh yeah, you come here every year on Eid, don't you?
23:21I totally forgot.
23:23You forgot?
23:24Yeah, I'm just here, I'm just picking up some food.
23:27Right.
23:28What a coincidence.
23:30Actually, do you mind if I...
23:35What's happening?
23:37I just told you, I'm just here to pick up some food.
23:39On the other side of London, at 9.30.
23:41On Eid?
23:43Yeah.
23:44Don't eat that.
23:46Why not?
23:46You won't like it.
23:47I think I know what I like.
23:48It's chicken, not lamb.
23:51Why would you get the chicken?
23:53Trying new things.
23:54Is that okay?
23:55No.
23:55It'd be weird, because the lamb's a signature.
23:57Okay, so you're here because of the article.
23:59Can we stop pretending?
24:01I'm sorry, what article?
24:03Are you being serious right now?
24:06I'm sorry if I missed your...
24:07What is it, an article?
24:08That sounds fun.
24:09Tell me about it.
24:09You're doubling down on this.
24:11Great.
24:12Dude, you know how it's like.
24:13I've got busy.
24:14You're busy.
24:15Well, I'm sure you're not fixated on everything that I'm doing, right?
24:17This is a strong take.
24:18I've got to hand it to you.
24:19I don't know what you mean.
24:20It sounds like you think I'm like killing myself to be something that I'm not.
24:24And you memorized it.
24:25That's sad.
24:27Who's that?
24:27Oh, are you sad?
24:28I'm not sad.
24:29I've been having a great time.
24:29I've been swapping out political art for vanilla distraction.
24:33Can you stop quoting my article, please?
24:35And it's not even about you, actually.
24:37Oh, it's not about me.
24:38Full disclosure.
24:39Shar Latif and I know one another and have spent time together socially?
24:43Is that how you're going to describe our relationship?
24:46That's how you describe the relationship, right?
24:47And you calm down.
24:48These people are not your audience.
24:50You're ruining their dinner.
24:51And mine.
24:51This is revenge porn, man.
24:52This is revenge porn dressed up as an identity politics and pop culture think piece.
24:56Is it revenge porn if you're fucking yourself over?
24:59Yeah.
24:59Actually, it is.
25:00That's a sub-genre of revenge porn.
25:02Yeah, it is.
25:03It doesn't matter what kind of porn it is.
25:04Delete that now.
25:06Delete that or I'll break your fucking nose with it.
25:08Yeah, it's good.
25:08And the deleted pics folder.
25:10What do you think?
25:10I'm fucking thick.
25:11Isn't that what you want?
25:13And that's not a private language here, you idiot.
25:16Dude, can you just delete it?
25:18I wanted a selfie.
25:18You can talk to me.
25:19I'm very approachable.
25:20Yeah, thank you.
25:21Dude, enjoy your milkshake.
25:22Yeah, show's over.
25:23What are you doing?
25:24Are you kidding me?
25:25Enjoy your little fan one.
25:25Come on, man.
25:26Have you been paid?
25:27Is she paid?
25:28Yes, I paid.
25:28Another dramatic one.
25:30Okay, look.
25:31Time out, please.
25:31I just want to talk.
25:32Excuse me.
25:32After all this time.
25:33Can we just have a chat?
25:36It's not right, man.
25:37It's not right.
25:39I'm here.
25:39I want to take something, man.
25:42Fucking hell.
25:44Where is she at?
25:44Is there a back door?
25:47Where's the back door?
25:47I think they're here for me, right?
25:49Anyone?
25:50Fine.
25:50Thanks.
25:51I'll find it myself.
25:52Wait.
25:53Where are you going?
25:55Sorry.
25:58Sorry.
25:58Is there an exit?
26:00Hey, go away.
26:01Go away.
26:01You're not allowed.
26:02Not allowed, please.
26:03Give me half.
26:04All right, thank you.
26:06Sorry.
26:06What are you doing?
26:07Are you not trying?
26:08No, the captain.
26:10It's not going to be here.
26:12I'm not trying.
26:13I'm trying to be there.
26:14I'm on my way out.
26:16I'm on my way out.
26:21I didn't.
26:22I didn't.
26:22I didn't.
26:23Okay, sorry.
26:26I wouldn't have done it all wrong.
26:27I just wanted to see you.
26:28That last bit wasn't my fault.
26:31Come on now.
26:31That was crazy.
26:33You're crazy.
26:34Me?
26:35Come on, you knocked three people out just by staring at me.
26:38Hey, if you ever need a job, I could do with security.
26:42If you think that was fine, you have some serious issues.
26:46Better than you know.
26:46Book club for wine.
26:47What kind of ease is that, huh?
26:48How about your ease?
26:49What?
26:49Crossing London to stalk your ex?
26:50You need help.
26:52You know what?
26:52I do.
26:53And you did help me.
26:55And I'm grateful because it shows that you care.
26:56I do care, actually.
26:57Rose for a beautiful lady.
27:00You know what?
27:00Yeah.
27:01I'll buy a rose.
27:03I should be thanking you, right?
27:05No.
27:05Please.
27:07How much are rose?
27:08Five for you.
27:09Okay, that's a bit Steve.
27:10I'll do 250 for her.
27:11You're embarrassing yourself.
27:12That's not the first time I would have done that for you though, is it?
27:16I don't need a rose from you.
27:17You don't need anything from anyone.
27:18No, just not from you, actually.
27:19My life's pretty great.
27:21Okay, if it's great, lend me five pounds.
27:22And I'll buy you a rose and I'm going to stop from scratch.
27:25Five pounds is expensive.
27:28Hmm?
27:29You know, if you knew me at all, you'd know I hate roses.
27:33I remember that.
27:34I just...
27:34You've got to love the gesture, huh?
27:37You love the gesture.
27:38Guys, guys, why don't you come in for the best curry on Brick Lane?
27:4020% off for the lovely couple, eh?
27:42We're not a couple.
27:43But we used to be.
27:43You've met my family.
27:45Yeah, I did, actually.
27:47And you know what?
27:48He made me wear a jacket over my sleeveless dress the first time when I met his dad.
27:51Well, not in a funder way, just my dad's a bit of a, like, little pervy uncle, mate.
27:55Listen, she was making out like I would have locked her in a cupboard if we carried on dating.
27:58Yeah?
27:59She put all her cultural and family issues on me just because I'm proud.
28:02That's racist, isn't it?
28:03Isn't it more racist to be killing yourself to play a white neo-colonial MI6 agent?
28:06But if I paid him, he wouldn't be white, would he?
28:08Yeah, but you would be.
28:09Guys, I've got an idea.
28:10Why don't you go to my cousin's restaurant across the road?
28:12I think that's better for you.
28:13Don't you want to hear about how he brought a date to my friends and family screening?
28:16A date?
28:18That was not a date.
28:19She was a world colleague that I brought.
28:21She was shit in your mango tree flop.
28:22I'm guessing it wasn't enough to snog her on screen.
28:25Good for the career to be spotted out and about with her.
28:27God forbid anything come for that.
28:29Okay.
28:29Hadn't we broken up by then?
28:30Sure.
28:31That night was about me.
28:32Okay?
28:33And also, taking a break isn't the same as breaking up.
28:35Okay.
28:36Then how exactly would you define how we-
28:38Fucking cunt.
28:38Fuck.
28:39What?
28:40I left my bag at the restaurant.
28:41Come on.
28:41Okay.
28:42Do you-
28:42You have to go back there now?
28:44I have my passport in it and I'm leaving tomorrow.
28:46Fuck.
28:46Argentina.
28:47What?
28:48Why are you going to Argentina?
28:50Wait.
28:51Someone's taking it.
28:53My airports are moving.
28:54Fuck.
28:54Oh shit.
28:55Fuck.
28:56Fuck.
28:56Fuck.
28:56You need a cabinet.
28:57Oh wait.
28:59Taxi!
29:00I need to get it back.
29:02That's gone.
29:03Listen.
29:03Can you just-
29:04Just let me help.
29:05Just trust me for once.
29:08I don't know.
29:09Come on.
29:10Come on.
29:12Come on.
29:12Come on.
29:13Come on.
29:14Seriously?
29:15Hey mate.
29:16Listen.
29:16Can you give us a lift?
29:17Yeah.
29:18Okay.
29:18Yeah.
29:19How fast is this guy?
29:21Not that fast.
29:22Faster than walking though, isn't it?
29:23Well yeah.
29:23It's a bike.
29:26If you annoy me, I will ditch you.
29:28Understood?
29:28You always say that, but you're still here.
29:30Yeah.
29:30Well, I'm leaving the country tomorrow, aren't I?
29:32Hey.
29:32This is an emergency.
29:33Can you follow this dock?
29:35Yeah.
29:36Alright auntie.
29:37I got you.
29:37Auntie?
29:38You're definitely going to get a tip.
29:39Alright.
29:39Listen.
29:40It's going to be fine.
29:41What's the next, Argentina?
29:43Funding came through for my dock.
29:44The shipwreck coin.
29:45Mm-hmm.
29:46Cool.
29:47Come on.
29:49How are you, man?
29:51I don't mean to have to patronize you today.
29:52Well, it was a little bit patronizing.
29:54No, seriously.
29:54I wish there were more no kinkies about shipwrecks.
30:07Your dad is more, um, her than Fondo.
30:12I appreciate you saying that.
30:14He would have killed to have me in your family.
30:17I would have liked to kill him, but I'd have to keep pulling him to one side like that.
30:20What the fuck are you doing?
30:21Chill out, mate.
30:25How is he?
30:27He's not good.
30:29Nah.
30:29He's not, um...
30:32Yeah, he's not good.
30:39I think my whole family hates me.
30:41They probably do.
30:49I can make a film, I can make a film.
30:53Shut up.
30:54I can make a film, I can make a film, I can make a film, I can make a film.
30:57That is, come on, that's crazy.
31:00A board and tune.
31:01That's wild.
31:11I'll get an auntie with a ravey
31:29Is it him?
31:30Somewhere around there
31:32Maybe it's in the diner over there
31:33In there?
31:34Yeah
31:37Thanks
31:38Yeah
31:3910% off your next ride
31:40Leaving tomorrow
31:41Well when you get back then
31:42Not coming back
31:43What do you mean I'm coming back?
31:44Doesn't matter
31:45What do you mean by that?
31:47Got money, jolly
31:48No man
31:50Nice one
31:53What do you mean you're not coming back?
31:54No
31:56It's here
31:59Okay
31:59Okay
32:00Um yeah
32:02I think
32:02Is that down there on the left?
32:04Yeah
32:04Hurry up
32:04It takes weeks to get a new passport
32:06Don't worry
32:06We're gonna get it
32:07Wait
32:08I think it is
32:09It's this one here
32:16Hi
32:17Hi
32:18Hi
32:18Welcome to the glow up
32:2025 head
32:21Oh I'd like to pay
32:22Please
32:23But I don't know my wallet or phone
32:26How's this become an expensive date for me
32:28How's this become an expensive date for me?
32:32And here are your body bags
32:36Down the corridor on the right
32:37Thank you
32:38Okay
32:40So what are we looking for exactly?
32:41It's a bum bag
32:42Okay
32:43What kind of bum bag?
32:44Just a bag
32:45Right
32:46Neon
32:47Pink and yellow
32:48Wait is this the one that I got you?
32:50Yeah
32:50Aww
32:52Alright
32:52Relax
32:53What?
32:53We shouldn't be too hard to find right?
32:55It's convenient
32:55It's a useful size bag
32:57Okay
32:57Okay
33:01Sharp
33:06It might be a bit tricky
33:08Oh shit
33:10I'm never gonna find my bag in here
33:12Whoa
33:13Aren't you forgetting something?
33:15Say what?
33:16Shake a goodie bag mate
33:17Can't let you on the dance floor like that
33:20Oh with the paint
33:23Alright
33:25Fuck it
33:27I'm not really
33:28I'm shit at this kind of
33:29Sit down
33:29I'll do
33:33Whoa
33:34Be nice
33:36Be nice
33:37Why am I not nice?
33:40As much as you want to humiliate me
33:44Remember whose passport will you
33:46Don't rush the artist
33:47Please
33:50Sorry
33:53Or look into her soul
33:59Why'd you get rid of the nose ring?
34:02Um
34:02I don't know
34:03You look so much fit with that nose ring man
34:06What?
34:06Fuck you
34:07What?
34:07Just saying
34:07Took the attention away from that
34:09Cold dead look in your eyes
34:11Probably around the same time as you
34:12Started losing half your hair
34:14You know
34:15Um
34:15Pitting hair is linked to high levels of testosterone
34:17I know you're broke
34:18So if you need some money for a hair transplant and donkey
34:21You just let me know
34:22No I'm fine
34:22You know I just take all my self-loathing
34:23And I rub it on my scalp every day
34:25Thanks for chopping me up on self-loathing
34:27Next time I see you
34:29You're gonna have shaved your head
34:30And you're gonna tell me it's for a role
34:32Or
34:32Or
34:32Because I'm gonna have a really secret sad illness
34:34And you're gonna be so upset about what time you spend together now that I'm dead
34:38Yeah
34:38Yeah
34:38Death guilty
34:39Yeah
34:40That's a straight up auntie move
34:41It is
34:42Sorry did that trigger you?
34:44Sorry does that turn you on?
34:45I know
34:46I know
34:46I'll see you
35:03Bye
35:03Oh!
35:03Oh, oh!
35:05Oh, oh!
35:08Oh, oh, oh!
35:09Hey, God!
35:09Yeah?
35:12Yeah?
35:12Let me check in.
35:37Oh
35:49You having fun
35:52Yeah, I'm actually fun
35:54Let me looking for a bag. Yeah, I'm looking as well. All right boys looking sorry
36:03She's not a bad either in the end. Not the worst
36:08What are you looking at me for I don't have it
36:22Oh
36:31Gonna go to the bathroom yeah
36:48Oh
36:59You don't have the bones to be wrong. Are you fucking mad?
37:04I'm packing
37:08First time I remember to use my mind
37:34I
38:06I
38:06Hey
38:08Hey
38:13You'll find it
38:23And I just want to say what you're doing
38:25You'll be halfway across the world on your own
38:29It's amazing
38:30You're fearless. I've always admired that about you
38:33Thanks
38:39Oh, where are you gonna live?
38:41A flat or something?
38:43Yeah, I found a place near the offices
38:44Okay, great
38:45Is it like a good neighborhood?
38:49I'm just saying a woman out there on her own
38:52I can take care of myself
38:53I know, I know
38:54I know the Spanish is kind of shit
38:55So you're gonna need someone to
38:56What are you doing?
38:58What am I doing?
38:59I'm looking at your passports
39:01And I'm having a little bit of a race
39:03What?
39:05Found the bag, didn't you?
39:08No
39:11What?
39:11Yeah, you did, you psycho
39:14What are you talking about?
39:15You just said passports with a fucking S
39:17Where are they?
39:18Where are they?
39:19Fine, fine, fine
39:20Fucking
39:23Oliver Windrock
39:24Fucking Windrock
39:25Man
39:25And I'm the one trying to be white
39:27Yeah, hey
39:27Leave me the bag, I'll put it in the beach
39:28Fuck off
39:46Hey
39:49Hey, why did you lie to me?
39:50I didn't fucking lie to you
39:51You didn't tell me you got a boyfriend
39:52Why do you think I'm here?
39:54You're the one that lied about the passports
39:56Okay
39:57Alright, then I'll be honest now
39:58I'm not here for your fucking article, okay
40:00I'm here
40:00I'm here for you
40:01Look, I'm here for you
40:03Because I miss you
40:05I miss us
40:08Okay?
40:10I'll admit that
40:12Now, can you admit
40:14If it's really all done between us
40:16It's a little bit weird that you didn't want to tell me about your boyfriend
40:18About a year
40:19About a year?
40:19About a year?
40:20About a year?
40:20That you're moving to another country?
40:22Tomorrow?
40:23Yeah, okay
40:23I mean, there's something
40:24I got cold feet
40:26It's a fucking big decision
40:28Okay, so you got cold feet
40:29Yeah, okay
40:30But I didn't want to see him on my last night in London
40:33Am I out here running around with you?
40:35Why is that?
40:36Hmm?
40:37But he's fucking great
40:38He's really great and he loves me
40:40And he's reliable and he's there for me
40:43So, I don't know
40:45I don't know
40:56Do you want to know what it's like?
40:57Hmm
41:00Doing the dirty work
41:04Fighting everybody
41:05Hmm
41:06And being a nobody
41:09I
41:11I don't live with myself
41:14I live with
41:16Whoever they need me to be
41:21And if I don't know who I am
41:22It's because I feel like maybe you don't want to know
41:28Are you acting?
41:31No
41:32There's like...
41:33Lines
41:34They're all lines, but the feeling is honest
41:40You're insane
41:49Please don't go
41:50Please don't go
41:56Take care, okay?
41:59Okay?
42:25I gotta go
42:29I haven't seen her
42:30As soon as I'll show you
42:31I can see her
42:31I'm kind of a little bit
42:35You're a little bit
42:38I'm kind of a little bit
42:39I'm kind of a little bit
42:41I'm going to get her
42:42And for some reason
42:42You're not too far
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