Wuthering Heights 2026 full English movie #WutheringHeights #Heathcliff #CatherineEarnshaw #EmilyBrontë #GothicLiterature #ClassicBooks #BookTok #LiteraryFiction #DarkAcademia #BrontëSisters #VictorianLiterature #Moors #Bookstagram #ClassicHorror #TragicR
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:00Music
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00:00:13Ha!
00:00:23Gotcha!
00:00:25Pete?
00:00:27Craig!
00:00:29Where are you guys?
00:00:31Music
00:00:34Music
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00:00:38Music
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00:00:41Music
00:01:36Mom?
00:01:37What is this, my birthday?
00:01:42Where is everybody?
00:02:11Ratio, breakfast coming right up.
00:02:14How are we this glorious morning?
00:02:15Doing great.
00:02:17Good to hear that.
00:02:18What did you say?
00:02:20I said we're great.
00:02:22I love you, sis.
00:02:25What is going on?
00:02:27What do you want from me?
00:02:28We just really appreciate everything you do around here.
00:02:30And rarely say thanks, so thanks.
00:02:31And from now on, we're going to be the big happy family you always wanted.
00:02:34Did you get the breakfast I made you, honey?
00:02:36Yeah, Mom, it was great.
00:02:37But why is everybody so happy?
00:02:40I thought we were on the verge of losing the ranch and all its properties to the banks.
00:02:43Not anymore.
00:02:44We've just won the lottery.
00:02:45One billion dollars.
00:02:47We're rich, Jules.
00:02:49And now we get to keep the ranch, pay off all the debts, bring in more horses, and live
00:02:53happily ever after.
00:02:54And it's all because of you.
00:02:57Wait, you mean I picked the winning numbers?
00:02:59Yes, you did.
00:03:00We're so proud of you, honey.
00:03:03This, this is like a dream come true.
00:03:06Yeah, that's because it is.
00:03:08A dream come true?
00:03:09No, just a dream.
00:03:10Your dream proves size.
00:03:12My dream, but I don't get it.
00:03:22Gotcha again, sucka.
00:03:23I fell for the oldest trick in the book.
00:03:26Get out of my room!
00:03:28What are you, like seven?
00:03:29Try putting a teen at the end of that.
00:03:31Yeah, and we'll always be older than you.
00:03:33Stronger, too.
00:03:34And prettier.
00:03:35Well, if you're so big and strong, why don't you help me with the chores once in a while?
00:03:39What's the point?
00:03:39We're going to be out of here in like a week.
00:03:41Mom hasn't sold the place yet.
00:03:42She's signing it away today.
00:03:43Mr. Beard will be here this afternoon.
00:03:45Yeah, don't call Mom, Mom.
00:03:46She's our mom, not yours.
00:03:48Yeah, you're just like an illegal adopted alien or something.
00:03:51The term is stepdaughter.
00:03:53I think that only works when your father is married to our mother.
00:03:55But after he died, the term becomes human parasite.
00:03:58Sounds about right, doesn't it?
00:03:59Pretty accurate to me.
00:04:00This was my dad's ranch before you ever moved in.
00:04:02I grew up here.
00:04:03This is my home.
00:04:04So you're the intruders.
00:04:05Not for long.
00:04:08Just get out before I...
00:04:09Phone with the mouth.
00:04:10Oh, too late.
00:04:16I wish this was a dream.
00:04:45Hey, good morning, Juliet.
00:04:47Take whatever you'd like.
00:04:48I didn't have time to cook.
00:04:50As usual.
00:04:51And it's Jules, remember?
00:04:53Juliet is a much prettier name.
00:04:55Only if you have the Romeo to go with it.
00:04:58Yeah.
00:04:59It'll happen someday.
00:05:00You'll see.
00:05:01Well, at least I still have Horatio.
00:05:05Your dad was my Romeo.
00:05:07And boy, could I use him now.
00:05:10How bad is it?
00:05:12On a scale from one to ten, I would need triple digits.
00:05:16This is my...
00:05:18Our home.
00:05:19You can't sell.
00:05:20I'll try my best.
00:05:22Mr. Beetle is coming today to review our options.
00:05:25But you're not signing anything, right?
00:05:26I love this place, Juliet.
00:05:29Sorry.
00:05:30Jules.
00:05:31I don't want to move back to the city.
00:05:33I mean, whatever we can do.
00:05:34You can't.
00:05:34Well, what happened to Horatio?
00:05:36Look, your dad made a wonderful life here for us.
00:05:39And for Horatio.
00:05:41So we're going to do whatever we can.
00:05:42Win the lottery?
00:05:44I tried that.
00:05:45There is a very happy family celebrating in Ohio today.
00:05:49It's all over the news.
00:05:51I mean, what we really need now is a miracle.
00:05:55Miracles are possible if you put your mind to it.
00:05:58Okay.
00:05:59Whatever you say.
00:06:00Why don't you go check with your brothers?
00:06:02Brainstorm with them.
00:06:03See if they can think of something.
00:06:05If they could think, that would be a miracle.
00:06:08What was that?
00:06:08Will do.
00:06:09I'm sure they're full of wonderful ideas.
00:06:25Okay.
00:06:26Now watch this and respond truthfully.
00:06:27It's very important.
00:06:28I got it.
00:06:29I got it.
00:06:29Get on with it.
00:06:35Well, what do you think?
00:06:37I think I like the second one best.
00:06:39Okay.
00:06:39I have more.
00:06:43What are you doing?
00:06:44Craig's practicing his poses.
00:06:46Yeah.
00:06:46When we move back to the city, I have to be ready.
00:06:48My career awaits.
00:06:49Is what?
00:06:50A mime?
00:06:51Male model.
00:06:52You don't think I have what it takes.
00:06:54Well, look at this.
00:06:59Yeah, yeah.
00:07:00Laugh it up.
00:07:01When we become rich and famous, we'll see who's laughing last.
00:07:03Oh, you're going to be a model, too?
00:07:04No.
00:07:05I'm the businessman.
00:07:06Pete's going to be my manager.
00:07:08Yeah, I'll be handling all the deals, because I'm great with money.
00:07:10Okay.
00:07:10Prove it.
00:07:12Do you have two tens for a five?
00:07:13Absolutely.
00:07:19Thanks.
00:07:20Uh, Pete, I don't think that works out quite.
00:07:23Wait, what was that?
00:07:23Two tens for a five?
00:07:25What, do you think?
00:07:25I'm an idiot?
00:07:26Okay.
00:07:28Here's back your five, not giving back two tens.
00:07:33That's better.
00:07:34Now get out of here and do your chores.
00:07:36Try to pull a fastball on me.
00:07:38See why I'm handling all your business?
00:07:39So you don't make those kind of mistakes.
00:07:42What, you think that's funny?
00:07:44Here's two tens.
00:07:45Give me a five, quick.
00:07:50She did it to me, and you did it to me, too.
00:07:54Give me a five, quick.
00:08:29I wish it was that easy with Mr. Beetle.
00:08:32Hey, Rachel.
00:08:34How's your leg holding up?
00:08:36Still sore, huh?
00:08:37Well, don't worry.
00:08:39When it gets better, we could go out riding.
00:08:40Just like at good old times.
00:08:42Sound good, Phillip?
00:08:47Oh, God.
00:08:48Rachel, what are we going to do?
00:08:49I can't leave this place, and I could never lose you.
00:08:52We've grown up together.
00:08:56You're a pony.
00:08:57It was my eighth birthday, remember?
00:09:00I got a new mom, two new brothers, and you the same year.
00:09:04Pete and Craig weren't that bad back then.
00:09:07Not until Dad died.
00:09:09I miss him so much.
00:09:12And Kim means well, but she can't run this place on her own.
00:09:15And Pete and Craig are no help whatsoever.
00:09:18You know, what we need to do is come up with a plan, Horatio.
00:09:22A way to make a lot of money really fast.
00:09:25Any suggestions?
00:09:29You don't say.
00:09:30Well, when I can learn how to speak horse, we'll continue this conversation, okay?
00:09:36Maybe it won't be that bad.
00:09:38Perhaps Mr. Beedle will buy the place, fix it up, and let us stay here to run it.
00:09:42It's a possibility, right?
00:09:44It's a possibility, right?
00:10:14It's a possibility, right?
00:10:21It's a possibility, right?
00:10:21It's a possibility, right?
00:10:21I love it.
00:10:29Good night.
00:10:57Now, Wesley, when we get there,
00:10:58I want you to sit back and not say a word.
00:11:00I want your father to work his magic and one day soon,
00:11:02this ranch will be one of the biggest malls in the county.
00:11:04Another mall? Great.
00:11:06It is great.
00:11:07Do you know how much money American malls make?
00:11:09No.
00:11:10That's why you're here, Socrates.
00:11:12Maybe you're running my empire two decades from now.
00:11:14I need you to know what it takes from the ground up.
00:11:48I need you to know what it takes from now.
00:11:58When you look out there, what do you see?
00:12:01Trees, flowing streams, vistas straight out of postcards.
00:12:05I see waste. Nothing but waste.
00:12:08All this unused land, taking space from buildings, factories, and apartment stores.
00:12:13It's enough to make you sick.
00:12:15It's unnatural.
00:12:16It's nature, Dad. It's as natural as it gets.
00:12:19Ah, nature's overrated.
00:12:20If people like nature so much, they'd live in it.
00:12:23You see people living in those trees?
00:12:24I don't think so.
00:12:26Animals live there, Dad.
00:12:27Ah, that's right.
00:12:28But if animals were around the world,
00:12:30he'd complete chaos, disorganization.
00:12:32The whole financial system would collapse.
00:12:34People wouldn't pay attention to politicians.
00:12:36We wouldn't have any different lawyers.
00:12:38And then, then what would we do?
00:12:40Celebrate?
00:12:41No joke like that, Wes.
00:12:43Not even jest.
00:12:44It's a sign of weakness.
00:12:48The signs up here make any sense.
00:12:49What's that supposed to mean?
00:12:52Deer crossing.
00:12:53And why do I care about that?
00:12:54Because it's a deer crossing!
00:12:56No!
00:13:46What's up, guys?
00:13:47You think you're really funny, don't you?
00:13:49No.
00:13:50I think I'm moderately funny from time to time.
00:13:52I want my money back.
00:13:53I gave you your money back.
00:13:55Not enough of it.
00:13:56Okay, fine.
00:13:58What if I say you could win it back?
00:13:59How?
00:14:00Just pick a number between one and ten.
00:14:02If I don't guess it right, I'll give you back double your bet.
00:14:05Okay.
00:14:05Twenty dollars.
00:14:07Okay.
00:14:08Pick a number.
00:14:17Okay.
00:14:18I guess.
00:14:19Okay.
00:14:20Is the number between one and three?
00:14:22No.
00:14:23Between five and seven?
00:14:24Nope.
00:14:25Between eight and ten?
00:14:26Yeah.
00:14:27The number's nine.
00:14:33Better luck next time.
00:14:34Wait, not so fast.
00:14:36Now you pick a number between one through ten.
00:14:38Fine.
00:14:39Number five.
00:14:44Are you kidding me?
00:14:46You're gonna let her get away with that?
00:14:47Come back here, Jules.
00:15:14Don't get away, okay?
00:15:25She's gotta be around here somewhere.
00:15:30You are so not going to be my agent.
00:15:32Fine.
00:15:32I wouldn't make any money with you anyways.
00:15:34Your poses are stupid.
00:15:36You're stupid?
00:15:37Okay, smart guy.
00:15:38What's 412 times 97 divided by seven?
00:15:43I don't know.
00:15:44You see?
00:15:45You don't know.
00:15:46Okay, so what is it?
00:15:47I don't know.
00:15:48I was asking you.
00:15:49You don't know the answer either, do you?
00:15:50I'm trying to change the subject.
00:15:51I made my point.
00:15:52No, you didn't.
00:15:53You would have to know the answer if you got-
00:15:54152.
00:15:56You're just making up numbers now, aren't you?
00:15:57I'm not.
00:15:57Part two.
00:16:08That was a close one.
00:16:10I know, I know.
00:16:11It was a dumb move.
00:16:13Some day someone will lock some sense into me.
00:16:15But, until then, I come out on top.
00:16:18Oh!
00:16:20Oh!
00:16:34Oh!
00:16:49Mr. Beetle, what happened to your car?
00:16:51Oh!
00:16:51You won't believe it.
00:16:52We were passing one of those yellow signs, the one with the deer on it.
00:16:55A deer crossing sign.
00:16:56Yeah.
00:16:56And, uh, suddenly out of nowhere, a deer runs right in front of the car.
00:16:59Oh my gosh!
00:16:59Are you both okay?
00:17:01Yeah, we're okay.
00:17:02Deer's okay.
00:17:02We swerved and hit a tree.
00:17:04But you tell me, why would they put a deer crossing sign right in the middle of the road?
00:17:07Wouldn't it be smarter to put it in a safer location where there's no people or passing
00:17:11cars?
00:17:12I don't understand what you mean.
00:17:14Well, those signs, they're a hazard to everyone's health.
00:17:16I mean, it's letting the deer know that it's okay to cross there.
00:17:18You know, someone should write a letter to the local authorities and that would fix the
00:17:21problem.
00:17:22Dad, the signs are there for the motorist to warn them about the deer.
00:17:26Oh, that's absurd.
00:17:27How do we expect the deer not to cross the road when we're just given permission to do so?
00:17:30Well, but if that's the case, we should set up a separate set of signs.
00:17:33For the deer.
00:17:34Maybe one with a speeding car on it so they know when they can cross.
00:17:37I'll say this is why I don't deal in the countryside.
00:17:39There's nothing like dumb deer here.
00:17:44Is he serious?
00:17:48Can I get you something to drink, Mr. Beetle?
00:17:50Something to calm your nerves?
00:17:51Oh, a gin and tonic would be lovely.
00:17:53Thanks, Miss Bell.
00:17:55Kim, please.
00:17:56Kim?
00:17:57That's short for Kimberly, isn't it?
00:17:59Yes, it is.
00:18:00It's a lovely name.
00:18:02My first ex-wife's name was Bev.
00:18:03Short for Beverly.
00:18:05No, short for Beverage.
00:18:05Her parents were real heavy drinkers.
00:18:10That was a joke, no?
00:18:11Call them never jokes.
00:18:13It's a sign of weakness.
00:18:14The boy's right.
00:18:16Okay, let's get down to the contracts here.
00:18:17The boy has a name, by the way.
00:18:20I'm Wesley.
00:18:21Short for nothing.
00:18:22Nice to meet you, Wesley.
00:18:23I'm sorry.
00:18:23I thought I made it.
00:18:24Well, let's not get bogged down with details.
00:18:26Kimberly, you're in real financial trouble here.
00:18:29The bank is going to foreclose on the property by the end of the week,
00:18:31selling off the land acre by acre.
00:18:33Now, I see tremendous potential here,
00:18:34and I'm willing to buy your entire ranch
00:18:36and even help you with your move back to normal civilization.
00:18:39If you look over the contracts,
00:18:40you see that my offer is more than generous.
00:18:59Yeah, it's lovely.
00:19:01I can see that you've really put a lot of, um, time and effort into this.
00:19:04Well, we'd have to remove some trees and some bushes and some wildlife,
00:19:07but this place has real potential.
00:19:09It's all about vision.
00:19:11That's how you get ahead, son.
00:19:12You see something on your path and you mow it down.
00:19:14It's like the deer.
00:19:16You know, this is a lot to go into.
00:19:18Um, why don't I give you guys a tour of the property
00:19:21and then you can see, you know, how we operate here?
00:19:24My father's allergic to fresh air.
00:19:25Oh, no, don't be silly.
00:19:26That was a one-time thing.
00:19:27And the doctor said it was more about the, the pollen in the air than the air itself.
00:19:31We'd be delighted to get the two of the land, Kimberly.
00:19:36I think about where I'm gonna put that ten-story parking garage.
00:19:40Okay.
00:19:40Well, let me grab my allergy pills, sinus medication, eye drops, and sinus relief medication,
00:19:44and I'll be all set.
00:19:46Where's your bathroom?
00:19:46Yeah, it's, um, right over there.
00:19:48Okay, thanks.
00:19:50Your father has a lot of health issues, huh?
00:19:53More like mental issues.
00:19:55You see, taking care of business, he's a pro.
00:19:57Taking care of himself is a whole nother matter.
00:19:59He was better when mom was around, but after she left, he's been a bit obsessed with work.
00:20:05I have a daughter about your age who's very much like that.
00:20:08Not with work specifically, but she can have a one-track mind when it comes to her obsession.
00:20:14What is it?
00:20:15Oh, it's not an it.
00:20:15It's a who.
00:20:16And it goes by the name of Horatio.
00:20:39And it goes by the name of Horatio.
00:20:47The name of Horatio is man, wavelette.
00:20:48Juliet, are you okay, Juliet?
00:20:51Juliet, speak to me.
00:20:52I'm fine.
00:20:55Ow.
00:20:56Who hit me?
00:20:58The lucky horseshoe above my stable fell and knocked you out.
00:21:02Lucky by whose definition?
00:21:04I don't know.
00:21:05Your father hung it up there, and he's always just said that it was lucky.
00:21:08Remember?
00:21:09Yeah, I do.
00:21:10I'm surprised you remember.
00:21:11You were just a pony.
00:21:12What is it?
00:21:13You're talking.
00:21:14So, what's wrong with that?
00:21:16When did you start talking?
00:21:18I've always talked to you.
00:21:19Every morning when you feed me and say hi, I say,
00:21:22Hello, Juliet, and how are you today?
00:21:24And then after I eat, I thank you.
00:21:27Yeah, but I never understood you before.
00:21:29Oh, really?
00:21:30Well, I always had the impression you understood me quite well.
00:21:32This isn't possible.
00:21:34You mean I've been speaking all this time, and you haven't understood a word?
00:21:38Boy, do I feel like an idiot.
00:21:39Okay, this is not happening.
00:21:41I'm dreaming.
00:21:42Or I'm hallucinating.
00:21:44I was hit on the head with this, and now I'm hearing voices.
00:21:47What kind of voices?
00:21:49Horse voices.
00:21:50Do they sound like me?
00:21:51Yeah, they sound exactly like...
00:21:52Oh, I need medical attention.
00:21:54I hope you feel better soon.
00:21:56Oh, and I think my leg is improving, by the way.
00:21:58Oh, and I think my leg is improving.
00:23:49I moved here eight years ago with my boys after I married Ryan.
00:23:54He's really the one who worked the land and built all this with his daughter Juliet, my stepdaughter.
00:24:01I've tried my best to keep it going, but it's really my late husband who had the green thumb.
00:24:08Green thumb? Was it infected? Is that what killed him?
00:24:11Again, not a joke?
00:24:15No. I'm sorry, Kimberly. Nature's not really my forte. There's just so many things alive here. Like this tree. It's
00:24:21alive, isn't it?
00:24:22Yep. It just grows right out of the ground.
00:24:26And you don't find that disturbing?
00:24:28Dad doesn't trust anything that isn't man-made.
00:24:31What about water?
00:24:33Don't drink it. It rusts pipes and fish go to the bathroom in it.
00:24:37W.C. Fields, right?
00:24:39That's an intelligent man.
00:24:40He was a comedian, Dad.
00:24:42No, I don't think he was.
00:24:45Where is Juliet now? Juliet, this is Mr. Beadle and his son Wesley.
00:24:50Hello.
00:24:50Wes is fine. My father doesn't shake hands.
00:24:53How are you?
00:24:55I'm fine. I'm good.
00:24:57Why? What have you heard? There's nothing wrong with me.
00:24:59Mr. Beadle is interested in developing the property, so I was just showing them around.
00:25:03How's Horatio doing?
00:25:04It's like he's improving.
00:25:05Not that he told me that or anything. I just noticed when I was checking him out.
00:25:09Who is Horatio?
00:25:10He's Juliet's favorite horse. They're best friends, grow up together, talk to each other.
00:25:15No, we don't.
00:25:16I mean, we're not that close. A horse is a horse.
00:25:18Of course, of course.
00:25:20And no one can talk to a horse.
00:25:21Of course.
00:25:22That is, of course, unless the horse...
00:25:25I'm sorry, you just reminded me of an old television show.
00:25:28Well, I wanted to bring them over to the stables.
00:25:30No, no, no, no, no.
00:25:32I mean, no. You don't want to go in there.
00:25:35Stables are a mess, there's hay everywhere, and it smells like horse poop.
00:25:38Oh, well, then I'll pass it. That doesn't sound like a real good environment for my sinuses.
00:25:41Maybe you could bring Horatio up to the corral,
00:25:43because I'd really like to show Mr. Beadle the advantages to running a successful operation
00:25:49as opposed to a new shopping mall.
00:25:53Horatio's not quite himself today.
00:25:56I thought you said he was feeling better.
00:25:59I'd love to meet him. Horses are awesome.
00:26:02You really think so?
00:26:03Yeah.
00:26:05Okay, I'll go get him.
00:26:06Can I come?
00:26:09Oh, no, I'll do it.
00:26:10Horatio gets a little nervous around people he doesn't know.
00:26:15Huh.
00:26:17Since when did you start to love horses?
00:26:19Since I left the city and discovered the wonders of nature.
00:26:26Get away from me, you flying spawn.
00:26:28It's a bee, Mr. Beadle.
00:26:32See, I think it flew right at me and tried to kill me.
00:26:34Huh.
00:27:00Horatio, I'm taking you to the corral,
00:27:02and you are not to speak to me,
00:27:03because you are a horse and I am a human.
00:27:05You got that?
00:27:06Absolutely.
00:27:07Good.
00:27:08No, not good.
00:27:09I didn't hear that.
00:27:10I said absolutely.
00:27:12No, you didn't.
00:27:13Oh, did I mispronounce it?
00:27:15I was just telling you I got what you were saying.
00:27:17Yeah, but you shouldn't.
00:27:18You shouldn't get what I'm saying.
00:27:20Then speak French.
00:27:21Why?
00:27:22Because I don't understand French.
00:27:24It's official.
00:27:25I'm losing my mind.
00:27:26Why?
00:27:27Because you're having a conversation with a talking horse?
00:27:29Uh, yeah.
00:27:30Well, I think it's a good thing.
00:27:31I like being able to communicate.
00:27:33Yeah, well, not when we're on the verge of losing the ranch.
00:27:35Well, what are you saying?
00:27:37Now you don't understand.
00:27:38I mean, what do you mean by that?
00:27:41There's this really rich guy who wants to buy the ranch and turn it into a shopping center.
00:27:45So unless we can convince him that this place is worth keeping it the way it is, we're done for.
00:27:49Aha! A brilliant idea.
00:27:52Yes?
00:27:53Well, that's what we need. A brilliant idea.
00:27:56Yeah, no kidding.
00:27:57This ranch hasn't made money in almost a year.
00:27:59No one runs out the cabin, so how can we prove that this place can be profitable again?
00:28:03Would you like me to speak with him?
00:28:05You think he's going to talk to a talking horse?
00:28:07No.
00:28:08What we need is something special.
00:28:10Something like...
00:28:13A talking horse.
00:28:14I got it.
00:28:15Well, how about a talking pig?
00:28:17I remember you telling me about that movie years ago with that talking pig,
00:28:20and there was the other one about the spider web and the pig.
00:28:22Humans seem to love pigs.
00:28:23No, just forget about the pig idea.
00:28:25You were a talking horse.
00:28:26Yeah, I thought we already established that.
00:28:29Yeah, well, you're the one who's going to save this ranch.
00:28:30How? My leg is still pretty sore.
00:28:33I don't think I'll be able to win any jumping competitions for a while.
00:28:36You don't have to compete.
00:28:38You are one of a kind.
00:28:39You're a talking horse.
00:29:13Stop that.
00:29:14I'm going to be a male model, not you.
00:29:16If you can do it, I can do it better.
00:29:17Oh, yeah?
00:29:18Try this one for size.
00:29:24Are you guys playing charades?
00:29:27Who are you?
00:29:28Yeah, these are our woods.
00:29:29Oh, you must be Pete and Craig.
00:29:31My name's Wes.
00:29:32My father's thinking of buying your property.
00:29:34So you're, like, the really, really rich kid, huh?
00:29:36Yeah, I've got a money tree growing in my backyard,
00:29:38but I think I like yours better.
00:29:40So you have, like, money on you?
00:29:43I've got a few bills. Why?
00:29:45You a gambler man, Wes?
00:29:46On occasion.
00:29:47But I bet you $20.
00:29:48If you pick a number from 1 through 10, I can guess it.
00:29:52Okay.
00:29:53You got one?
00:29:54Yes.
00:29:57Number seven.
00:29:58Number six.
00:29:59Nice try, bud. You were close.
00:30:01I can't believe you.
00:30:02Why doesn't it work when I do it?
00:30:05Thanks, guys.
00:30:05Is the corral this way?
00:30:06Wait a minute.
00:30:07Give him a chance to win back that money.
00:30:08Yeah, give me a chance that you want a serious beating.
00:30:10Okay.
00:30:11Tell you what.
00:30:12I'll bet you $50 that you guys aren't here.
00:30:15You're going to bet us that we're not here.
00:30:16And I'll prove it.
00:30:18Deal.
00:30:19You're not in Mexico, right?
00:30:21No.
00:30:22And you're not in Detroit.
00:30:23No way.
00:30:24And you're not in England.
00:30:25Right.
00:30:26So if you're not in Mexico, you're not in Detroit, and you're not in England, you must be someplace else.
00:30:31That's right.
00:30:32We must be someplace else.
00:30:33And if you're someplace else, you certainly can't be here.
00:30:35Naturally, if we're someplace else, we can't possibly be here.
00:31:08We must be here.
00:31:09Create a family attraction where children and adults could commune with nature.
00:31:15That doesn't sound very healthy.
00:31:16Oh, no, it is.
00:31:17It's very relaxing.
00:31:19You see, people build up a lot of stress in their day-to-day daily grind.
00:31:22And they keep it right here.
00:31:24Ow!
00:31:25What did you just do, woman?
00:31:26It was the biggest knot I've ever felt.
00:31:28You've got to have that looked at by somebody.
00:31:30I see all the top doctors in the city.
00:31:31Well, a doctor can't do anything for that.
00:31:33You need to have a good body massage by someone who knows what she's doing.
00:31:37Are you qualified to give that kind of diagnosis?
00:31:38Yes, I was a masseuse for 20 years.
00:31:41That's how I met my husband.
00:31:42He said I had magic fingers.
00:31:47Speaking of magical, I'd like you all to meet Horatio.
00:31:49A very magical horse.
00:31:55He's a beauty.
00:31:56Yes, yes, that's very nice.
00:31:57But let's go back to the house and discuss the contract, shall we?
00:31:59Oh, no.
00:32:00Mr. Beatle, come closer.
00:32:01I really want you to see this.
00:32:02You're not afraid of a little horse, are you?
00:32:04You call that creature little?
00:32:09Yours money.
00:32:11Boys, boys, behave.
00:32:12We have guests.
00:32:14Okay, Jules, what did you want to show us?
00:32:16Did you teach Horatio a new trick?
00:32:17She's wonderful with animals.
00:32:19Have I ever.
00:32:20Horatio, why don't you say hi to this nice gentleman and introduce yourself?
00:32:27Hello, it's a pleasure to meet you.
00:32:30My name is Horatio.
00:32:32I'm a horse, if you haven't already guessed by my appearance.
00:32:34I enjoy long walks in the woods, hay is my favorite food, and I was considering taking
00:32:39up tap dancing, but unfortunately, I have two left feet.
00:32:43Hey, that was pretty good.
00:32:45Pretty good?
00:32:46Are you kidding me?
00:32:48I mean, maybe it wasn't the best joke in the world, but it was told by a talking horse.
00:32:52A talking horse?
00:32:53Are you crazy?
00:32:54Did you not all hear Horatio just speak?
00:32:57Yes.
00:32:58And?
00:32:59Yes, we did not just all hear Horatio speak.
00:33:02He just kind of grunted and snorted like he always does.
00:33:04But he looks great, Jules.
00:33:06You've done a wonderful job with him.
00:33:07You didn't hear him either?
00:33:15Say something else.
00:33:16Something else?
00:33:17No, tell another joke.
00:33:19So this horse walks into a bar, and then the bartender asks the horse,
00:33:22Why the long face?
00:33:24Get it?
00:33:26You get it?
00:33:27Long face?
00:33:28Horse?
00:33:29Horses have long faces?
00:33:30It's like a pun.
00:33:32I don't think they got it.
00:33:34You want me to try another one?
00:33:35Hey, how long are a horse's legs?
00:33:37Long enough to touch the ground.
00:33:40Jules, you want to take him back to the stable?
00:33:42Wow.
00:33:43This is a tough crowd.
00:33:44I don't believe this.
00:33:45He's talking, guys.
00:33:46He's telling stand-up jokes.
00:33:48What if I sit down and tell him?
00:33:50Would that make a difference?
00:33:51Mr. Beatle, let's go look at another part of the farm.
00:33:54If you insist.
00:33:56We didn't even have to make a fool out of you this time.
00:33:59You did it all by yourself.
00:34:03Don't be upset.
00:34:05I'm losing my mind.
00:34:07No, you're not.
00:34:08They're just too stupid to hear me.
00:34:10That's easy for you to say.
00:34:12I'm sorry, I was just trying to help.
00:34:13Oh, no, I wasn't talking to you.
00:34:15She was talking to me.
00:34:16No, he doesn't know that.
00:34:17You're talking to the horse, aren't you?
00:34:19See? He got it.
00:34:21That's right.
00:34:22And you can hear the horse talking back to you?
00:34:24Should I answer that one?
00:34:26No.
00:34:26So you can't hear the horse?
00:34:28Yes, she can.
00:34:29No, I can't.
00:34:31Who are you talking to?
00:34:32You. I'm talking to you.
00:34:34And I am only talking to you from now on.
00:34:36Okay.
00:34:38You want me to help you bring her a-show back to the stables?
00:34:40Sure.
00:34:41So what?
00:34:42Now you're giving me the silent treatment?
00:34:44What did I do?
00:34:45What is it?
00:34:46Nothing.
00:34:47I didn't hear anything.
00:34:48And I didn't say anything.
00:34:49Can I say something?
00:34:50Didn't hear that either.
00:34:51It was a good one.
00:35:17I didn't hear nothing.
00:38:06We like money.
00:38:07Yeah, big fans of money.
00:38:09You seem like smart boys.
00:38:11And I wish you could teach my son the same appreciation.
00:38:13He has this absurd notion that money can be used to make the world a better place.
00:38:17Protect the environment, help the poor.
00:38:19I don't know where he gets those ideas from.
00:38:21Probably his mother.
00:38:23Bet you won't see me throw my money away like that.
00:38:25Mr. Beatle, do you have two tens for a five?
00:38:30I do indeed.
00:38:32Here is ten for you and ten for you.
00:38:35Okay, you can come in now.
00:38:37Charming boys you have here.
00:38:58Now I know you can still hear me.
00:39:00Look, I'll get new material.
00:39:01My next performance will have them rolling in the aisles.
00:39:04I promise.
00:39:04I really do love it up here.
00:39:06We don't have anything like this in the city.
00:39:08I don't know why you guys want to turn this place into a shopping mall.
00:39:11We don't.
00:39:12Then why are you selling this place to my father?
00:39:15Well, we can't afford to keep it, but, you know, we don't want anyone to tear it down.
00:39:19I think we could build this ranch up into a real resort.
00:39:22A lot of animals and more horses.
00:39:24That would be cool.
00:39:26Wouldn't it?
00:39:28Wouldn't what?
00:39:29Wouldn't that be cool?
00:39:30Oh, I think so.
00:39:31But good luck convincing my father.
00:39:33He hates anything that has to do with the outdoors.
00:39:35It's like he's got some kind of phobia for all things organic.
00:39:38That doesn't sound natural.
00:39:40You quit it.
00:39:40You're not funny.
00:39:41I wasn't trying to be funny.
00:39:43I know.
00:39:44I'm sorry.
00:39:45I could be funny.
00:39:46Want to hear a joke?
00:39:47I'm all ears.
00:39:49I didn't do anything yet.
00:39:51I know.
00:39:52I was just imagining how funny your punchline would be once you finish telling.
00:39:58Continue.
00:40:00Why couldn't the pony sing?
00:40:01Because his voice was a little hoarse.
00:40:04I haven't reached the punchline yet.
00:40:06I'm sorry.
00:40:07I already know that one.
00:40:08Oh.
00:40:09Okay.
00:40:10How about this one?
00:40:11A cowboy rode off down the road on Wednesday.
00:40:13And came back three days later on Wednesday.
00:40:16How's this possible?
00:40:17His horse was named Wednesday.
00:40:19Oh, come on.
00:40:20You know that one too?
00:40:21And Wednesday had two little pony cousins named Monday and Tuesday.
00:40:25Between the three of them, it was a short week.
00:40:29I give up.
00:40:30No, Wes.
00:40:30I'm sorry.
00:40:31I wasn't laughing at you.
00:40:32I know.
00:40:32That's the problem.
00:40:34Will you let him finish his jokes and quit interrupting?
00:40:36I thought we were a good team.
00:40:38It's all about timing, you know.
00:40:39Just shut your trap before you ruin everything.
00:40:41You can hear your ratio, can't you?
00:40:43That wasn't an act.
00:40:45Nope.
00:40:45Nope.
00:40:46That would be crazy.
00:40:47And then they would put me in a sane asylum for being crazy.
00:40:50Humans cannot hear animals speaking to them.
00:40:52Well, what about Dr. Doolittle?
00:40:54He was a fictional character in a children's book.
00:40:56He just spoke to you again, didn't he?
00:40:59Yes.
00:41:00But only I can hear him.
00:41:05They're going to lock me up and throw away the key.
00:41:07Hey, if they do that, I'll bail you out.
00:41:09Get it?
00:41:10Hey.
00:41:11Bail.
00:41:12Bail of hay.
00:41:13Bail you out.
00:41:14No, no, no.
00:41:15Don't cry.
00:41:16It'll be all right.
00:41:18His jokes are so bad.
00:41:20It's painful.
00:41:21Sorry, I'm afraid you're saddled with me.
00:41:24I can't.
00:41:29No, no, no.
00:41:29It's painful.
00:41:31I can't.
00:41:47Vielleicht.
00:42:03so as you can see it's a perfect place for a vacation it's a great area to raise a family
00:42:10as well yeah it's very homely homely homely i meant homely it feels like home well that's
00:42:18because it is one it's our home once you sign these documents it's gonna be a great place for
00:42:23thousands of shoppers too have you seen anything i've shown you mr beetle of course kimberly my eyes
00:42:30have been wide open except when that buzzing flying creature was trying to kill me yeah i don't think
00:42:36they were and you can call me mrs bell is there a problem in a syllable yes we don't want
00:42:46to leave
00:42:46our home miss bell the bank's gonna take it away from you and there's the problem and all i'm trying
00:42:53to do is help no all you're trying to do is help yourself by building another useless mall and make
00:43:01millions of dollars while destroying everything that's right in the world
00:43:06and what my ass brought that on
00:43:10you know you may be a whiz at business and making money but you don't have a clue about people's
00:43:17feelings your son was right my son and what did he tell you
00:43:25about the same thing that you you're so busy so wrapped up in your work that you don't even know
00:43:31how to take care of yourself let alone what's best for the planet my son's future is all laid out
00:43:36for
00:43:36her miss bell and he will never go hungry and i can't say the same for your kids if you
00:43:40don't sign
00:43:41these documents which by the way it's no longer on the table yeah i know it's on the floor and
00:43:46it's
00:43:46for my health i have the best doctors in the world i have the best help i have the best
00:43:50of everything
00:43:50and there's nothing i repeat nothing that's wrong with me
00:43:55oh what is it my back oh my back it's i got a bad back it's locked up here grab
00:44:03my back
00:44:03those are the briefcase oh oh yeah oh my god these they're useless they just mask the pain they don't
00:44:12do anything to solve the problem here let me help you to the couch
00:44:18oh my gosh oh your back is totally out of whack i can help you with this i need dr
00:44:24hurt
00:44:25who my back doctor your back doctor is named dr hurt what's your dentist dr decay oh miss bell
00:44:33i don't appreciate your sense of humor a man of my position yeah which is almost horizontal
00:44:38that may be that doesn't mean i have to put up with your flippant attitude towards my current
00:44:41situation you know i'm almost gonna enjoy this hang on it's gonna hurt a little
00:44:47ah
00:45:12yeah
00:45:24so
00:45:25yeah
00:45:25yeah
00:45:25yeah
00:45:25yeah
00:45:25yeah
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00:47:33I tricked them out of some money earlier,
00:47:34but that is only because they torture me
00:47:37every single morning of my life.
00:47:39Like, one morning, they moved my alarm clock
00:47:42just out of reach and then tied my foot to the bedpost.
00:47:44So when I got up to turn it off...
00:48:23And most recently, they poured shaving cream
00:48:26in my hand while I was sleeping.
00:48:27It tickled my nose and I hit myself and...
00:48:30You never told me about that one.
00:48:31It happened this morning.
00:48:33And I really don't feel too bad about taking their money.
00:48:36So, skipping ahead, you say you were hiding from your brothers and...
00:48:39And I was in Horatio's stable,
00:48:41and they didn't find me and they finally left.
00:48:43I got out, closed the door, and...
00:48:45And a horseshoe fell and knocked her out cold.
00:48:47Exactly.
00:48:48I think I missed a section there.
00:48:50Right. You can't hear him.
00:48:52Stop chiming in, Horatio.
00:48:54So, this horseshoe is above Horatio's stable,
00:48:58so when I closed the door, it fell, clunked me in the head,
00:49:01and when I woke up, I could hear Horatio speaking to me.
00:49:04Okay, so maybe we're dealing with a magical explanation rather than a rational one,
00:49:09but at least we have the cause.
00:49:11It is supposed to be a lucky horseshoe.
00:49:13That's true.
00:49:16Wait. Maybe that's it.
00:49:18Since I'm the only one who got hit in the head,
00:49:20maybe I'm the only one who could hear Horatio speaking.
00:49:22I guess that's one theory.
00:49:24Well, we can test it.
00:49:25How?
00:49:25Hit him with the horseshoe and see what happens.
00:49:28That's not a bad idea.
00:49:30What's not a bad idea?
00:49:31Horatio suggested that if I hit you with the horseshoe,
00:49:34maybe you'll be able to hear him too.
00:49:35That's a horrible idea.
00:49:36Why?
00:49:37It sounds like it involves pain.
00:49:38No, we don't have to hit you that hard.
00:49:40How about a little tap on the head?
00:49:42Really?
00:49:45Okay, but be gentle.
00:49:48Ow!
00:49:49Can you hear me?
00:49:51Did he say anything?
00:49:53What we've got here is a failure to communicate.
00:49:55Let me try again.
00:49:56Hit him again.
00:49:57Ow!
00:49:58Can you hear me now?
00:49:59Anything?
00:50:00I hear slight ringing.
00:50:01Sounds like we're on the right track.
00:50:03Hit him again.
00:50:04Harder!
00:50:04Ow!
00:50:05How about now?
00:50:07Can you hear him now?
00:50:07I can't hear anything now.
00:50:09Once more.
00:50:13Oh, God.
00:50:15Wes?
00:50:15Wes, speak to me.
00:50:17I knocked him out.
00:50:18Well, that's what happened to you.
00:50:20When he wakes up, hopefully he'll be able to understand me.
00:50:22Yes, if he wakes up.
00:50:24I don't believe this.
00:50:25The first guy I actually like, and I kill him.
00:50:30Okay, Wes, wake up.
00:50:32Hi.
00:50:36Up and at him.
00:50:38Time to wake up.
00:50:38Let's go.
00:50:43Hello, Wes.
00:50:44Nice day, isn't it?
00:50:45Yes, Mr. Tree.
00:50:46It's very nice.
00:50:47I see you branching out all over.
00:50:53Hey, watch where you're stepping, buddy.
00:50:55Sorry, blades of grass.
00:50:56I didn't see you growing there.
00:51:03Don't look a gift horse in the mouth.
00:51:05Hey, I heard that.
00:51:06You want to know what I heard?
00:51:07Juliet is looking for you, and she has something to say.
00:51:20Horatio said you have something to tell me.
00:51:22What is it?
00:51:24Yuck!
00:51:26That did the trick.
00:51:28I think I might have hit you a little too hard.
00:51:30Sorry.
00:51:31You think?
00:51:31Because I don't even believe my brain's functioning anymore.
00:51:34Just drop the horseshoe, okay?
00:51:35And not on my head this time.
00:51:37Sorry.
00:51:38It was a dumb move.
00:51:39I should have never listened to a talking horse.
00:51:44Are you okay?
00:51:45I feel like I have a hangover, and I don't even drink.
00:51:47Well, you know what they say.
00:51:48You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him wink.
00:51:51It's drink, not wink.
00:51:53Oh, right.
00:51:55That makes sense.
00:51:56Why would you bring a horse to water to make him wink?
00:51:58That's just silly.
00:51:59Besides, I wink all the time.
00:52:01Well, I drink too, so I don't know what the point is actually saying all that.
00:52:04It's a metaphor.
00:52:05It means that everyone's supposed to take control of their own lives.
00:52:07You can't force a person to do something they don't want to do.
00:52:10Which is probably why hitting someone in the head with a horseshoe
00:52:12isn't going to suddenly make them believe in something like...
00:52:14Being able to hear a talking horse?
00:52:16Exactly.
00:52:19Wes, who are you having this conversation with?
00:52:21I was just responding to Harish.
00:52:23Yo.
00:52:24Why are you staring at me like that?
00:52:26He's... he's talking.
00:52:28Oh, not again.
00:53:08Oh my gosh, I feel so good.
00:53:11What did you do?
00:53:12Just a little alignment to get you back on track, so to speak.
00:53:16This is amazing.
00:53:18I haven't felt this good since Bev...
00:53:20What?
00:53:23Well, my wife used to give me back massages when we were together.
00:53:26And, uh, I do miss that.
00:53:29Yeah, well, a man can miss a lot of things when he doesn't take a moment to stop and look
00:53:35around.
00:53:36Drink up.
00:53:37What is this?
00:53:39It's good for you.
00:53:40Drink it.
00:53:40Well, I'm allergic to a lot of things.
00:53:42I'm not supposed to have a lot of sugar or starch.
00:53:43Dairy's out of the question.
00:53:44It's pretty much just fruits, so...
00:53:46Don't be such a baby and drink good stuff.
00:53:50If your doctors told you that living was bad for your health,
00:53:53that you would seriously consider trying not to do it.
00:53:56Wow, I can feel my nasal passages starting to open up.
00:53:59Yeah, it's my own special herbal brand.
00:54:02It's much better than that stuff you get on the shelves.
00:54:05I can breathe.
00:54:06I can actually breathe.
00:54:07Yeah.
00:54:08And breathing is good for you.
00:54:10I'm sure your doctors would not even disagree with that.
00:54:13You know, I used to own a home in the countryside.
00:54:15Had a lot of good times there.
00:54:18Wes was barely three when we moved to the city, so he might not remember much of it.
00:54:22That's a shame.
00:54:23Why did you leave?
00:54:26Well, get closer to work.
00:54:28And then when Bev left me, I just had too many memories there, so we sold the place.
00:54:33Yeah, I guess it was time.
00:54:38Yeah, well, that's what I'm good at, right?
00:54:40Buying and selling.
00:54:41Not so much on the long-term investment.
00:54:43Asked my ex-wives.
00:54:45Yeah, that was Ryan's speciality, building and developing.
00:54:48But he was also good at nurturing the kids.
00:54:51You're good at that too, Miss Bell.
00:54:54Kim.
00:54:56Monty.
00:54:58By the way, do you have any more of this wonderful tea?
00:55:01Yeah, I do.
00:55:04And I'll take another look at those contracts, too.
00:55:07Come on.
00:55:11Continue on your way, spawn.
00:55:13Come on.
00:55:45Wesley?
00:55:46Les?
00:55:49Now what are we going to do?
00:55:50I didn't do anything to him.
00:55:52He's just horsing around.
00:55:53Uh, no.
00:55:54He's passed out.
00:55:55Well, get the pail.
00:55:56Splash him.
00:55:58It's empty.
00:55:59I don't want to drown the poor guy.
00:56:01So he just fell asleep?
00:56:03Pretty much.
00:56:04Then why don't you try what they do in all those stories?
00:56:07What stories?
00:56:08You know, the ones you used to read to me when we were growing up.
00:56:10About the prince and the princess.
00:56:12Which one?
00:56:13I don't know.
00:56:14It doesn't matter.
00:56:15They all end up the same way.
00:56:17The princess kisses the prince and he wakes up.
00:56:19No.
00:56:19The prince is always the one to kiss the princess.
00:56:22Not the other way around.
00:56:22Then she wakes up.
00:56:23It's never the other way around?
00:56:26No.
00:56:26Not unless the prince is a frog or some other type of animal.
00:56:29Then he turns into a prince.
00:56:31Is that why you were always kissing me when we were younger?
00:56:34It's worth a try.
00:56:35Well then.
00:56:37Isn't it worth a shot?
00:56:38Come on.
00:56:39Be the first.
00:56:39Start a fashion.
00:56:41Your first kiss.
00:56:42I'm so proud.
00:56:44I wish I had a camera.
00:56:45Don't watch me.
00:56:58Oh, Juliet.
00:56:59Juliet.
00:57:02Is that all you can say?
00:57:04Wherefore art thou, Juliet?
00:57:06Sitting next to a pile of manure, if you must know.
00:57:09I had the strangest dream.
00:57:11That you were talking with Horatio?
00:57:12Yeah.
00:57:13But then I had another dream where I thought I woke up and...
00:57:16I was still talking to you?
00:57:20How you doing, Romeo?
00:57:22Is this like a dream within a dream within a nightmare?
00:57:25Depends.
00:57:26Did you think I kissed you in the dream or the nightmare?
00:57:29You kissed me?
00:57:30For real?
00:57:31Cool.
00:57:33So, that means this is...
00:57:35Really happening.
00:57:36A horse is talking to me.
00:57:38A horse is actually speaking.
00:57:39To me.
00:57:40He can speak to me too.
00:57:42Jules, when the world finds out about this...
00:57:43Yeah, that's kind of the hard part.
00:57:44Remember?
00:57:45Oh yeah.
00:57:46We can't exactly go around bashing people in the head with that thing.
00:57:49Some might get upset.
00:57:50And who knows how much luck is left in that horseshoe.
00:57:52There may be a limited supply.
00:57:54We have to find my dad.
00:57:55Yeah, and convince my mom not to sell.
00:57:57Not when there are miracles happening here.
00:57:59You're right.
00:58:00This discovery is a lot more important than another dumb shopping mall.
00:58:03Bring the horseshoe.
00:58:04Maybe if we both explain it to them.
00:58:06We'll be back.
00:58:08Not so fast.
00:58:09Nobody's leaving here until we settle a certain amount of debt.
00:58:12Yeah, you won some money from us earlier.
00:58:13And we want a rematch with a game you can't possibly cheat at.
00:58:16Cards.
00:58:17Really?
00:58:18You don't think people cheat at cards?
00:58:19Not the way we play.
00:58:48You don't think people cheat at all.
00:59:00You've done a really beautiful job here, Kim.
00:59:03Did you decorate yourself?
00:59:05Mostly.
00:59:06Interior design has always been a hobby of mine.
00:59:08I'd say it's more than a hobby.
00:59:10Magical figures, incredible tea, great taste.
00:59:13Could be the perfect woman.
00:59:15You cook?
00:59:17Okay, so nobody's perfect.
00:59:19But I do make a mean lasagna.
00:59:23You know, you were right about this.
00:59:25This is an amazing deal.
00:59:27I would be crazy not to take it.
00:59:29Plus, it'll be a big help next year when the boys go to college with their tuition.
00:59:33Well, feel free to have your lawyers look it over.
00:59:35Oh, they already have.
00:59:37Yeah.
00:59:37I emailed them the advance copy you sent me.
00:59:40And they basically said I would be a fool not to take the deal.
00:59:44Oh.
00:59:45So?
00:59:46Well, I think I have proven to you that I am not a fool.
00:59:50No, no, you definitely are not.
00:59:54Okay, so I guess there is just one more question, Monty.
00:59:58Yes?
00:59:58Do you have a pen?
01:00:04Thanks.
01:00:37But you don't understand.
01:00:39We have to stop Mom from selling the land.
01:00:41There are magical properties in this horseshoe.
01:00:44She's right, and if we can figure out a way to capitalize on it, we can save your ranch.
01:00:47No, you don't understand.
01:00:48We don't want to save the ranch.
01:00:50Pete and I are going to move back to the city and become world-famous posers.
01:00:53Yeah, you guys are posers, all right.
01:00:55So, we want Mom to sell, and there's no getting in the way of that.
01:00:58Now, we have some money to win back.
01:00:59This time, it's on our rules.
01:01:01Number two tens, four, five, and we're word games.
01:01:04It's time we're playing cards.
01:01:05These cards never lie.
01:01:07I don't know how to play cards.
01:01:09Well, it's very easy.
01:01:10I'll pick a card from the deck, bet you $10 versus everything you stole from us today.
01:01:14What's the game?
01:01:15You just have to guess the card.
01:01:17Simple, right?
01:01:20So, what card am I holding, jewels?
01:01:22Four of spades.
01:01:24Four of spades?
01:01:26What?
01:01:27No, no, no, no, no, no.
01:01:28Best two out of three.
01:01:32Now, what card am I holding?
01:01:34Ten of diamonds.
01:01:35Ten of diamonds.
01:01:37What the?
01:01:39Oh, come on, seriously?
01:01:40Can you see what card am I holding?
01:01:44No.
01:01:45It's impossible, but only Pretty Boy can answer this time.
01:01:49So, what card am I holding, Pretty Boy?
01:01:51King of hearts.
01:01:53Oh, I don't know.
01:01:55I'm just going to have to take a wild guess, King of hearts.
01:01:58What the?
01:02:06Pete, what are you doing?
01:02:08I don't know.
01:02:08They guessed the cards.
01:02:10I don't know how.
01:02:10I can't explain it.
01:02:14That was actually kind of fun.
01:02:16That was actually kind of cheating, but you're right.
01:02:17It was fun.
01:02:17Shoot.
01:02:18I forgot the horseshoe.
01:02:19We'll just have to convince them without it.
01:02:20I just hope we're not too late.
01:02:22I can't believe you gave them all our money.
01:02:24They guessed the card.
01:02:25What was I supposed to do?
01:02:26Get our money back.
01:02:26That was the plan, idiot.
01:02:27Don't call me an idiot, moron.
01:02:28Don't call me a moron, idiot.
01:02:30How did that feel?
01:02:31Give me that.
01:02:35Did I knock some cysts into you?
01:02:36Yeah, let me give you back the change.
01:02:38Oh, did that hurt?
01:02:40Let me divert the pain.
01:02:44Kids, remember, don't try this at home.
01:02:48If I could just chime in here for the record, I think you're both idiots.
01:02:53Who asked you?
01:02:54It is I, Horatio, king of all horses, ruler of the stable, drinker from the sacred bucket,
01:03:01and eater of the holy hay and foolish young boys.
01:03:05Those who toy with my magical horseshoe must endure my wrath.
01:03:09Please, no.
01:03:10We didn't mean it.
01:03:11Listen to me now or perish.
01:03:14What breed of horse can jump higher than a house?
01:03:17All breeds.
01:03:18Houses don't jump.
01:03:20What part of a horse has the most hair?
01:03:23The outside.
01:03:25What do you call a horse wearing a Venetian blind?
01:03:28A zebra.
01:03:30Oh, God.
01:03:31Make it stop.
01:03:32That one didn't even make sense.
01:03:33Don't worry, boys.
01:03:34I got a million of them.
01:03:35What's a horse's favorite sickness?
01:03:38Hay fever.
01:03:39Ha ha ha ha ha.
01:03:56Trust me.
01:03:57You won't be sorry.
01:03:59Well, I guess one can't stand in the way of progress.
01:04:03Mom, no.
01:04:04You can't sign.
01:04:04You promised.
01:04:05Dad, did you close the deal?
01:04:07Look around, son.
01:04:08It's all ours.
01:04:09Jules, I know you're upset, but believe me, it's for the best.
01:04:13No, you're wrong.
01:04:14They can't tear down this place.
01:04:15It will destroy the magic.
01:04:17What will happen to Horatio?
01:04:18She's right, Dad.
01:04:19This isn't a normal ranch.
01:04:20It's special.
01:04:22It's one of a kind.
01:04:24The people or the place?
01:04:27Both.
01:04:28They have a talking horse.
01:04:29I know it sounds insane, but he really can talk.
01:04:32It's true, Mom.
01:04:33Not everyone can hear him, but if I just smash you around with...
01:04:35Jules, enough with the games.
01:04:37We'll be happy in the city.
01:04:38You'll see.
01:04:39It'll just take a little getting used to.
01:04:41Where are your brothers?
01:04:42I want to give them the good news.
01:04:44Dad, trust me.
01:04:44Just one swift hit on the head with that thing and you'll see.
01:04:47Don't worry about the brain damage.
01:04:48It'll pass.
01:04:49That won't be necessary, son.
01:04:50I've seen the light and this place is going to be huge.
01:04:52People are going to come from miles around.
01:04:54But it does require one special ingredient to make the whole thing work.
01:04:57I will absolutely need Miss Bell to manage the place.
01:05:01But, Mr. Beetle, I don't know anything about running a mall.
01:05:04Well, you know just about everything else.
01:05:06And once people come in and drink your amazing tea, breathe in the air, and get away from
01:05:10the city, you're going to feel 20 years younger.
01:05:12I know.
01:05:13I'm not just the owner.
01:05:14I'm also a client.
01:05:15So welcome to Bell and Beetle's Wonder Ranch, where dreams come true.
01:05:18How's that sound?
01:05:20Monty, do you mean it?
01:05:21You mean we can stay?
01:05:23Dad, are you feeling okay?
01:05:24The answer is yes, yes, and a big fat yes.
01:05:27I've never felt better.
01:05:28And what about Horatio?
01:05:29Horatio can stay.
01:05:30The animals can stay.
01:05:31We'll get more animals.
01:05:31I want to build this place up to be the most fantastic ranch for humans and animals alike.
01:05:35Let them intermingle.
01:05:36People can pet the animals.
01:05:37Can talk to the animals.
01:05:38And some of them might even talk back to you.
01:05:40When did you decide to do all of this?
01:05:42Well, I believe I came down with something since we first arrived here.
01:05:45Oh, really?
01:05:46Is it contagious?
01:05:48I believe so.
01:05:50It comes about when someone gets too far away from their past.
01:05:53I believe I'm homesick.
01:05:55Dad, did you just make a joke?
01:05:57I don't know.
01:05:58Do bad jokes count?
01:05:59Well, around here they do.
01:06:00Just ask Horatio.
01:06:02We have to tell Horatio.
01:06:03I love you, Mom.
01:06:04You too, Dad.
01:06:05This is great.
01:06:07Well, I think I finally made my son proud.
01:06:10I think the kids have really hit it off.
01:06:12Yeah, with horseshoes.
01:06:14Is that a joke?
01:06:16Watch out.
01:06:17You could just become funny.
01:06:19Yeah?
01:06:20I'll work on it.
01:06:21How about you give me lessons over dinner tonight, Kimberly?
01:06:23Do you like lasagna?
01:06:25I think it may soon become one of my favorite dishes.
01:06:50I can't believe we did it.
01:06:51We didn't even have to prove Horatio could speak.
01:06:53Perhaps it's better if we keep that secret to ourselves.
01:06:56If word gets out that we have a talking horse, everyone will start trying to exploit him.
01:06:59There will be t-shirts, lunchboxes, marketing gimmicks galore.
01:07:02Someone will probably even make a movie about him.
01:07:04Yeah.
01:07:05I guess you're right.
01:07:06We don't need another talking horse movie.
01:07:10No more, no more battoes.
01:07:13No more, no more battoes.
01:07:15Just stop.
01:07:16Last ad, please.
01:07:17Let it end.
01:07:18It has to stop.
01:07:19Last ad, please.
01:07:19Just let it end.
01:07:21That was odd.
01:07:22I wonder what that was about.
01:07:23There's nothing like a friend
01:07:25Lift you when you're done
01:07:28Sting the world around
01:07:30Make it fun again
01:07:31We're not here on our own
01:07:34Even if we spend some time alone
01:07:37Help to know
01:07:38There's a place to go
01:07:40Cause you and me
01:07:42Is how it's meant to be
01:07:44Laughing with each other
01:07:47Who the is?
01:07:48Laughing
01:07:49Laughing
01:07:52Oh, oh, oh, oh
01:09:26Well, you've been a great audience.
01:09:27I hope you all have enjoyed my little tale.
01:09:30But as you can see, this is definitely...
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