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00:13You
00:13Have you seen Chelsea? Nekamara? Chelsea?
00:18Chelsea
00:21Chels
00:23Hey, no, I think that we should try something new for the State of the Whale State
00:27Okay, we usually do the charity golf tournament and no one complains
00:31I know, that's because everyone finds it too boring for words
00:34You mean you're too bored?
00:35That's correct, I find it boring
00:36I don't mind being the whistleblower here
00:39What's your idea?
00:42Okay, photo calendar
00:43Our employees, but in very flattering lighting, obviously
00:48We sell it, boom, money for whales
00:51Like a firefighter calendar?
00:53Yeah, tasteful, classy
00:55You haven't organized anything since your dog's quinceanera
00:58No, but I learned a lot from that
01:00Fine, if it keeps you out of my office, off email, and away from anything that'll concuss you
01:05I call that a win, for me
01:06Yes, you won't regret it, Chelsea, promise
01:09Oh, bar is so low, Jen
01:12I know, I know, so low
01:14It's basically in the Earth's core, Jen
01:16Yeah, but that's where the diamonds are made, baby
01:23So for our annual Save the Whales fundraiser this year, we're doing something a little outside the box
01:29We are going to make a photo calendar that is going to showcase 12 of our employees
01:35I'm calling it Hard Hat Hotties
01:40This is what I came back for?
01:42I like the alliteration
01:43Why only 12 employees?
01:46Because there's 12 months in a calendar year, genius
01:49Oh
01:49How is this fundraising?
01:51Whales don't care how we raise funds, Janet
01:53They just want to swim, that's what fish do
01:55What happened to the golf tournament?
01:57I bought a new glove and a pair of spikes
01:59We're switching things up this year, Todd
02:01But the golf tournament is the only day of the year we can be day drunk and get paid for
02:06it
02:07So we're going to unveil the cover this weekend at that janky gross bar you people love so much
02:14Chelsea, can we get that inflatable orca set up right out front at the venue?
02:18It's an inflatable whale shark, but who cares about accuracy, right?
02:21Nerd
02:22I've done a bit of catalog work before
02:24What kind of looksie going for?
02:26Yeah, right
02:26It's a problem
02:27Editorial, mostly
02:29Um, treats people, just doing their job, you know, but spicy
02:33Yeah, because nothing sells calendars like Roach's sweaty ass crack, right Jenny?
02:38Good to have you back, Homer
02:39Are our clothes like on or off?
02:41On!
02:42This is a work event, you must wear proper safety gear
02:45Thank you
02:46I mean whales don't wear clothes, so I'm thinking like clothing optional?
02:50What kind of a backdoor argument is that?
02:52No, no, no, no, no, no
02:57Everyone's clothes staying on!
02:59Let's just say that I agree to model for this
03:03What's to stop someone from using my picture to do nasty stuff?
03:08No one is jerking off to you, Janet
03:10Let's make that very clear right here, right now
03:12This is about something bigger than ourselves, right?
03:16Orcas
03:17Whale sharks
03:17I don't care
03:18Okay, if anyone actually wants to participate, sign the sheet
03:22If not, no biggie
03:23Get back to work
03:24And remember, this is voluntary
03:26Strongly encouraged
03:28Voluntary
03:28See you there
03:29Free will
03:30Free your willy
03:32No means no
03:32Not really
03:33You're my employee
03:35I'm ready
03:37Well, people are constantly staring at my fart blaster all day anyways
03:41Someone ought to make some money out of it
03:44Yeah
03:46For the whales!
03:48What do you think, Audrey?
03:51You're going to sign up?
03:52You have such an interesting look
03:54Like a gal who cleans her own wounds with vodka
03:59Well, I think I'm here to be a carpenter
04:01Not a calendar model
04:03Well, it's for charity
04:04Well, if we were doing a raffle
04:05Or a blood drive
04:06Like every other refinery
04:08I'd show up for that
04:09Like a blood drive for whales?
04:10What?
04:11No
04:12For people
04:13I didn't think that whale-to-human transfusions were even possible
04:16Like, what are you picturing?
04:17A whale hooked up to, like, a giant IV
04:20I mean, so much blood
04:21Audrey, if you're looking to get out of this
04:23And I fully support that
04:24We need someone who can blow up the inflatable whale
04:26Done!
04:27Oh, hey, she'd rather blow Shamu than get her picture taken
04:31If you like that, you can help her
04:36Fuck
04:39You will not pressure, coerce, or guilt anyone to participate
04:43Fine
04:45Totally
04:46Done
04:50Whales will die, Todd
04:52Look, you're the GS
04:54If you don't do it, nobody will
04:56Nope
04:57I've worked here long enough and know how these things go
04:59I'm not dropping my pants
05:01Nobody needs to see that
05:02What, are you worried about that whole thing there?
05:04Because we can crop it
05:05Or, you know, we can frame you elbows up
05:08AI does amazing things now
05:14What do you want?
05:15What?
05:16To do it
05:16Because I'm not above bribery
05:19I'm not above being bribed
05:21Double time, OT meal
05:24Buying pizza?
05:25Chicken parmesan
05:26Chicken parmesan?
05:27I don't know
05:28Who the fuck do we think we are?
05:29Mariah Carey?
05:30And dessert
05:31Lava cake
05:33You greedy little bitch
05:39Fine
05:40Just get them to sign up
05:43You got it, boss
05:47Listen up
05:49Can everybody shut up for a minute?
05:51Who wants Friday afternoon off?
05:53Double time pay?
05:55Chicken parmesan OT meal to do this dumb ass calendar
05:58Yeah, fucking right
05:59Chicken parmesan for everyone?
06:01Jesus
06:01Come on, if I'm doing this you guys fucking are
06:04Chicken parmesan people
06:05Throwing some garlic balls
06:07So this isn't the Olive Garden staff?
06:10Fine, garlic balls, jeez
06:11Yo, what's up?
06:13She said garlic balls
06:14Oh, that was my nickname in high school
06:16Because of how it smelled
06:18Wow
06:19We have that full facial coupon
06:20And the free yarn wax
06:22We're in
06:22We'll do it
06:23Anyone else?
06:24Nice
06:25Alright, you want an Aztec and move product
06:27Taser's your man
06:28I see myself as Mr. April
06:29Okay
06:29I'm out
06:30That's what I'm talking about
06:31Maybe even a Mr. May
06:33I'll do it
06:33Sign me up twice, man
06:37Screw it, screw it
06:39Hey
06:39What are you guys doing?
06:41Hey
06:41Let's quit the noises
06:42Uh
06:43Apparently I gotta do this calendar crap
06:45Be a leader
06:46Set an example
06:47Blah, blah, blah
06:48Right, right
06:49You want tips on training or something?
06:52From you?
06:52What a joke
06:53Look at this, it's fucking steel
06:55Well
06:56Maybe
06:57Really?
06:58Oh shit
06:59Well, I don't know
07:00You should probably talk to Marcus about it
07:01But first things first
07:03You gotta lose the form in 15
07:04Then you gotta want it, brother
07:05And you gotta want it bad
07:06You gotta want it more than bread
07:08Nope
07:08You gotta want it more than beer
07:09Nope
07:10You gotta want it more than joy itself
07:11This is gonna fucking suck
07:13Yep
07:13It will fucking suck
07:15It's gonna suck worse than the biggest, greasiest, dirtiest dick
07:18You've ever seen in your life
07:19And you're gonna suck it for breakfast, lunch and dinner
07:21Oh yeah?
07:21Yes
07:22And you're gonna enjoy it
07:23I'll do what it takes
07:24Training begins now
07:26Let's go
07:26When he pukes, you clean it
07:32Run up them fucking stairs like you never run up anything
07:35You're not a fucking electrician
07:36You're not a fucking pipe head or run out of it
07:386 a.m. was a part of the deal, man
07:40Now there was greatness
07:41Now get low
07:41Go so low you blow your collar right out of your rightness
07:44I think I just did
07:45Good shit yourself
07:49Dink!
07:50You lift
07:50You dig like you're digging in the couch for the last two bucks
07:53There ain't no quitting you, Todd Stools
07:55What the fuck are you doing?
07:57Get weapon!
08:03Sucker
08:05Discipline and focus at all times
08:08Do not eat fat
08:10You're one with hunger
08:11Put the fuck out of them
08:13Put the fuck out of them
08:14Put the fucking cults
08:14All the fucking guts out of them
08:27What the fuck?
08:28They're cheating!
08:29Fuck it
08:30Come on!
08:42That's it.
08:43Hello, talent.
08:44What the hell is this?
08:45I hired him.
08:46He's our photographer.
08:47You hired Dewey?
08:48Uh-huh.
08:49What are his qualifications?
08:50Well, number one, he owns a camera.
08:53And, yep, that is 90% of the job.
08:56Honestly, I can't even think of what the other 10% would be,
08:58so I guess that might be the whole job.
09:00Yeah, this is going to be a trademark.
09:01What are you thinking?
09:01I'm going to scout the plant,
09:02look for some shadows that hit the cement in a way that,
09:05you know, speaks to me.
09:07Oh, we are going to make some magic.
09:10Yes.
09:12He's an artiste.
09:14Mwah.
09:15My fartiest.
09:19She said she'd be here.
09:21She did throw a piece of bologna at me at the same time,
09:23so it could be.
09:24All right.
09:25Good garlic balls, Jim.
09:27Okay, you know what?
09:28How are you with props?
09:29I'm a fucking pro, Dewey.
09:31I have a friend for you.
09:35And you know what?
09:36I think he's hungry, Steph.
09:38I think he's a hungry little fella.
09:40Why don't we give him a little nibble?
09:42Huh?
09:42There we go.
09:44Yeah, he's got an appetite.
09:45Oh, he likes it.
09:47Yes.
09:48Oh, yes.
09:49Very nice, Steph.
09:50Yeah.
09:51Oh, he's a hungry little boy.
09:52He appreciates it, Steph.
09:54Okay, this is fucking stupid.
09:55I'm done.
09:58Chicken pie.
10:00Mmm.
10:02You didn't want to eat that after the shoot, Roach?
10:04No, I'm good, man.
10:06Okay, I can do this.
10:08I can do this.
10:08Yeah.
10:09Okay.
10:09Okay.
10:10Okay, I need you to focus, though, Roach.
10:12I need you to focus, okay?
10:14Not on the perm, on me.
10:17Okay.
10:19This is how they do in the magazine.
10:20Probably.
10:21I think.
10:21I read it once.
10:22I gotta show off my new nails.
10:24So, these are new.
10:25Oh.
10:25Catch those.
10:25Mine are cute, too.
10:26Okay.
10:27I'm zooming in.
10:28I'm zooming in, lady.
10:29That's it.
10:30Okay.
10:30Big mama.
10:31Big mama.
10:32Oh, my God.
10:33Yeah?
10:33I want you to open that big mama booty.
10:36Big mama booty.
10:38Big mama booty.
10:39Big mama booty.
10:40That's it.
10:41That's the shot.
10:42Yes.
10:43Old Darth Welder in the house.
10:44Oh, I'm feeling some sparks down south of this weld band.
10:47Are you sure that you have never done this before?
10:50Because.
10:51I got more gas in the tank.
10:53I want to give you guys some options.
10:54We like options.
10:56Okay.
10:56What if I, uh, wear my welding helmet on my junk like this to imply danger?
11:02Someone's got some skin in the game.
11:04Ooh.
11:04We're gonna go that route, Taze.
11:06I think we need to pop a button.
11:08Ooh.
11:08Ooh.
11:09Okay.
11:09Just gonna do a little fist, a little shushing.
11:12Taze with the blaze.
11:13There we go.
11:14Oh, but Taze, I think we gotta have to see the hair flowing.
11:17Show me that mane.
11:18Oh, yeah.
11:19You're a warrior.
11:20Time to do art.
11:22Steve.
11:24Here we go.
11:26Brinders!
11:27Whoa!
11:28Yeah.
11:29Ah!
11:30Turn up!
11:31Oh!
11:32Hey!
11:33Beautiful, Taze.
11:35Oh!
11:38Okay.
11:39Nice.
11:41Yeah?
11:42Okay.
11:43Nice.
11:44Yeah?
11:47Okay.
11:48Nice.
11:49What?
11:50What?
11:50Crack it open a little bit, you know?
11:51You're Mr. July.
11:52It's supposed to be hot outside, right?
11:54Give us a little humidex, you know?
11:56I didn't know this was gonna be those kind of pictures.
11:59Hey!
12:00Oh, fuck.
12:01Here comes the pants patrol.
12:02You cannot, under any circumstance, pressure an employee to take off his clothes.
12:07Look, you trusted me to run this fundraiser, so just let me.
12:11We are not making anyone uncomfortable.
12:14Right?
12:15Marcus?
12:15You're fine, right?
12:17Tell Chelsea that you're fine.
12:19He's not gonna tell you the truth.
12:20You're the boss.
12:21You don't get the power dynamic at play here.
12:23Marcus, has Ms. Conk or Dewey done anything at this company event to make you feel uncomfortable?
12:30Well, my knees hurt, and I don't love that my aunt's definitely gonna see this.
12:35But it's been... fine?
12:37See, you can't fake that kind of praise.
12:39Up to you, Marcus.
12:41Yeah.
12:42Up to you, Marcus.
12:44It's a bit chilly.
12:46I'm gonna head in for a snack.
12:47Is that okay?
12:48Come on down.
12:50You know, Taser didn't mind the breeze.
12:53He said it makes his nipples pop.
12:55Huh?
12:55That's a professional.
12:56Watch it, Dewey.
12:57I can't fire her, but I can fire you.
12:59Just re-hire you.
13:00I heard that.
13:02Finally!
13:03A safe space again!
13:05I don't know.
13:05Just walk in, Judge.
13:07That's helpful.
13:08Beep!
13:08Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
13:12Perfect.
13:13Take it off.
13:15Are we waiting for anybody else, or...?
13:17Nope.
13:17Just you and me, Team Blowhole.
13:19Yeah.
13:20Yet we've been entrusted with the great honor of blowing this bad boy up.
13:23Yeah, in here.
13:24You wanna haul this outside and blow it?
13:26No, Audrey, I don't wanna fucking do this anywhere.
13:28It's stupid, it's a lame-ass, giant-ass pool toy.
13:32I've got so much other shit I'd rather and can be doing, so...
13:35Oh, yeah? Like what?
13:37Doomscrolling?
13:38Ghosting people?
13:39Calling your mom?
13:40I love my mom.
13:41This is what's wrong with your generation.
13:43Loving my mom?
13:44Yeah.
13:44Yeah, no, cause you think you're above this task.
13:47Fuck.
13:47Who isn't?
13:48Get blowin'.
13:49Clock hits four, I hit the door.
13:53You're just gonna stand there?
13:54Blow it or suck it, whatever your preference.
13:55Yeah, get your hair dryer.
13:57I miss Jimmy already.
14:00Appreciate it, bro, I feel good.
14:02Good.
14:02I mean, you still look like a piece of shit, but you did everything you could.
14:06What?
14:07Psst.
14:09Have you boys ever heard of smizing?
14:12No one has heard of smizing, Homer.
14:14What the fuck is it? Do I got an apprentice for it?
14:16Smizing?
14:17It's when you smile with your eyes, but not your mouth.
14:20Smiling with your whole face?
14:22That's amateur clown shit.
14:25Behold.
14:27There's no fucking...
14:28What is this fucking shit?
14:34Are you fucking with us, Homer, or...?
14:36No.
14:37I did some modeling as a child.
14:39Bullshit.
14:39I was the face of a major soda pop brand.
14:42You guys remember the, uh, Chug It Kid?
14:45Shut up!
14:45No fucking way.
14:46That's you?
14:46No way, show us.
14:47Oh my God, do it right now!
14:48I'm not doing that.
14:49Do it, Homer.
14:49I did years of therapy to get over that, okay?
14:51Do it.
14:51I can't do it.
14:52Do it or you're fired again.
14:54Ch-ch-ch-chug it!
14:57That is awesome!
14:58That was you!
14:59I did billboards, bus stops,
15:02even did a short run of urinal cakes,
15:04but parents didn't think it was appropriate
15:05to be pissing on a child's face.
15:08Teach me, Homer.
15:09Teach him.
15:09This is a different life.
15:11Different times.
15:13Fucking don't turn your back on us now, Homer.
15:15I gave it all up.
15:17For the glitz and glamour of Weldon, boys.
15:20Chug It Kid.
15:21All right.
15:21I'll help.
15:22Listen up.
15:23Yes.
15:24You gotta seduce the camera.
15:26How?
15:27Always be moving them.
15:28Get the legs in.
15:29Loosen it.
15:29Yes, Todd.
15:30Come on.
15:31Get moving.
15:31Get moving, Ed.
15:32Yes.
15:32You want to give the camera different facial expressions, okay?
15:34Yes.
15:35With a smile.
15:36With your teeth.
15:37Smile, Todd.
15:38Show off those pearly whites.
15:39Come on.
15:39Yes!
15:40You're happy.
15:41But then, wait a minute.
15:43Who died?
15:44Who died?
15:45Everyone.
15:46Oh, sad face.
15:47Everyone died, Todd.
15:48You look high.
15:48But wait.
15:49What do you see out there?
15:50Is that your best friend fucking your cousin?
15:54No, no.
15:55It's your cousin Greg.
15:57Your best friend.
15:58Look at him.
15:58Fucking your cousin Greg.
16:00You're mad at him, Todd.
16:01Not me.
16:01Greg.
16:02Wait.
16:03What's that in the distance?
16:04Over here, Todd.
16:06Towards me.
16:07Right there.
16:07There it is.
16:08It's a 12-point elk.
16:11You reach back.
16:13Clobber it.
16:13No, you're not going to clobber it.
16:14No.
16:15You've got a quiver of arrows.
16:16You're a sexy ass hunter.
16:18Good boy.
16:19So you're going to draw the arrow.
16:21And then load the bow.
16:25And then fire it.
16:27Oh.
16:28What just fell?
16:29The elk.
16:30Drop the peach.
16:31Get down.
16:32Grab the peach, Todd.
16:33Get your ass off.
16:34And jiggle the ass.
16:35This is fucking dumb.
16:36And look at me, Todd.
16:37I want eye contact.
16:38Flex it.
16:39Down the dog.
16:40I can't do this.
16:40I should never agree to this shit.
16:42What?
16:42Just calm down.
16:43Listen, the man is fucking hangry.
16:44He hasn't eaten anything in goddamn three days.
16:46Whoa, whoa, whoa!
16:47Hey!
16:47Are you fucking high?
16:49You can't eat before a shoot.
16:50You're going to blow like a blowfish.
16:51Showtime, dude, dog.
16:52For my sakes.
16:53My lights are hot.
16:54Are you boys ready?
16:55No.
16:56You're ready.
16:57Greatest first lesson I've ever had.
16:58Get out there.
16:59Get out of here.
17:00You will never be more ready.
17:01How much money did you make doing those commercials?
17:03None.
17:04My mom owns an island in Belize.
17:10Yeah, uh, this is going to take fucking forever.
17:14Yes, it is.
17:16Which is why we have mandatory breaks.
17:19What the hell happened to all that, oh, this is what's wrong with your generation bullshit?
17:23You're normally like two years younger than you, right?
17:25Really?
17:25I thought you just had your 13th birthday last month.
17:31Seniority means I nap first.
17:33Goodnight.
17:37Fuck.
17:38Shit.
17:41Oh, yeah.
17:43In a safe space, toddler.
17:45Your lighting's garbage.
17:46Everyone's going to look like they got fucking jaundice.
17:49Are you telling me how to do my job?
17:52No, Dewey.
17:53I'm telling you how to not ruin a good photo.
17:55Hey, chop chop, boys.
17:57Time is money.
17:58I have just the inspiration for this.
18:00Bend the joints.
18:01Bend the joints, Todd.
18:02There you go.
18:03Yeah, all right.
18:04Over the shoulder, Todd.
18:05No, no.
18:06Towards the camera.
18:07Smart boy.
18:08Yeah.
18:09There you go.
18:09Chin up.
18:10Use the strap.
18:11You like that thing?
18:12Now look.
18:13On the ground in front of you.
18:15There's that same old peach.
18:17You remember that peach, Todd.
18:18Grab that peach.
18:19Grab the peach.
18:19Grab the peach.
18:20Yeah, take a bite.
18:26Oh, wait.
18:27Oh, gross.
18:28There you go.
18:28What's that white substance?
18:30Oh, no.
18:31A deer was using it as a cum rag.
18:33Throw that peach away.
18:34Throw it away.
18:34Gross.
18:35Wait.
18:35There's something wrong.
18:36Your body.
18:37It's shaking.
18:38That was cursed cum.
18:42All of a sudden, your hands are hooves.
18:44Glorious hooves.
18:45You're a majestic steed.
18:47I want to hear you nay, Todd.
18:48Nay.
18:49Yeah.
18:50Nay.
18:51Nay.
18:51Nay.
18:51Louder.
18:53Whoa.
18:54The lid is blowing in your hair.
18:56And then you see it ahead of you.
18:57There's the elk.
18:58You remember the elk, Todd.
18:59You missed it last time, didn't you?
19:00Now reach back.
19:02Flex.
19:03Pull up the arrow.
19:04Good.
19:04And blow the bow.
19:07Yeah.
19:07Chin up.
19:09Flop.
19:14What the fuck?
19:16Cricket!
19:16Are you there?
19:17Hold on, buddy.
19:18Look at it.
19:19And...
19:20Fire it.
19:20Release!
19:21There!
19:22You got it!
19:25Oh, there's my December.
19:28What the fuck?
19:29Oh, good work, kiddo.
19:37Okay, guys.
19:38It is time to reveal our calendar.
19:42Some people said that my idea was unprofessional
19:44and that it, uh, blurred ethical lines.
19:48You'll see.
19:49I'm not wrong.
19:50Because it wasn't, it did.
19:51To me, this has always just been about hope.
19:54You know, for us and for our animal friends,
19:58from the mammals to the whales.
19:59So, let's raise a glass, open our wallets,
20:04and remember that for every calendar that you buy,
20:08an orca is so thankful,
20:10and probably releases one of those cloudy white squirts.
20:15I mean, we're not gonna see it because it happens underwater,
20:18but it's, uh, it's happening.
20:20Okay, stop.
20:23Sorry.
20:23Okay?
20:24Okay.
20:24All right, let's go.
20:26Nice.
20:27Oh!
20:28Nice work!
20:30Oh, Stephanie!
20:32Oh, my God!
20:32Oh, my God!
20:34Oh, my God!
20:34Remember?
20:35I don't remember posing with a dire wolf.
20:37Okay, moving on to February.
20:40Oh, my God!
20:41Oh, my God!
20:42Hi, Davey!
20:43You're such snacks!
20:44Remember Big Mama?
20:45It's payday, Team Con.
20:47Let's open up Big Mama.
20:49I got a cat for somebody with that bad boy.
20:50Good girl.
20:51Oh, Janet!
20:53Nice duck face, Janet.
20:54Nice fuck face, Homer.
20:57You are my Victorian duckling, Janet.
20:59That's weird.
21:00Moving on.
21:01Nice one, Janet.
21:03Mark it!
21:04That ain't photoshopped.
21:05That's right, it ain't.
21:07I got you, bro.
21:09And...
21:09Hey, that looks like me, man.
21:11That is you, Roach.
21:12That is you, man.
21:13I had to paint out all the tomato sauce on your face.
21:16Kinda looks like my uncle, too.
21:17No, Malone.
21:18Oh!
21:19Looks like Cousin Greg.
21:20Hold the fuckin' Dewey.
21:22I was supposed to be a werewolf.
21:23I need way more fuckin' hair than that.
21:25No, this is the amount of hair we agreed on.
21:27Not at all.
21:27I got more hair on my right ball.
21:30And...
21:30Moving on.
21:32Yeah!
21:33It's Mr. June.
21:34What the hell is that?
21:35What the fuck?
21:36Stoolie's got a horse body and a giant horse cock?
21:38Centaur.
21:39Get it right.
21:40And I gave Todd actual abs.
21:42Oh, I don't need to see that.
21:43My work speaks for itself.
21:44You fuckin' weird juice.
21:47A little early again, Janet.
21:49Oh.
21:50All right.
21:50So our cover model for the first annual cock calendar is...
21:55Janet?
21:56What?!
21:57Okay!
21:58Yes!
21:59Yes!
21:59No, Janet!
22:00Now is the time to do the drum roll.
22:02Oh!
22:04Great!
22:11Whoa!
22:12That's me!
22:13Oh!
22:14Yeah!
22:14This is terrible.
22:15Fuck this.
22:16We skipped wing night for this?
22:18I gotta get another fuckin' drink.
22:21Go get it!
22:22Go get it!
22:23Fernie.
22:24Beer me.
22:25Now.
22:25Oh my God, Stool.
22:27I'd say your abs went on vacation.
22:30Didn't leave a note.
22:31Fuck off.
22:32When was the last time you did a sit-up?
22:33Accepting your past your prime is half the battle.
22:36Yeah?
22:36You sure you've accepted it?
22:38Yeah.
22:39Yeah, I fuckin' accepted it.
22:41And you can accept this.
22:43Happy to sign up for you, too.
22:44I'm good.
22:44Dear dickhead.
22:45Go fuck you.
22:46Guess I could use it to wipe my ass.
22:48Hey.
22:49Hey.
22:49I think you look great, by the way.
22:50Oh, thanks.
22:52I thought you looked good, too.
22:53What'd you think of the horse cock?
22:54Oh, yeah.
22:55Not a fan, but my friend might be.
22:56Get over here, you.
22:56Really?
22:57Yeah.
22:58Hello, LaRue.
22:59She knows you're dipshit, but she's into that thing.
23:01Thanks for that.
23:02Yeah, no sweat.
23:02I guess I kind of am.
23:04What up, horse cock?
23:05What's up, werewolf man?
23:06Hey, show me this calendar.
23:07I don't have enough hair, but I actually think I look pretty good.
23:09Me, too.
23:10That's smooth and sexy.
23:11You look great.
23:12Oh.
23:15Oh, oh, oh!
23:16Real funny.
23:17Can you slide, please?
23:20There we go.
23:21You're gonna have to tell Todd eventually that you're hooking up with a werewolf.
23:25Woo!
23:26Woo!
23:28I mean, do I?
23:29It just sucks.
23:36We've only sold 15 of these, and Fernie, the bartender, bought three of them.
23:41Yeah, I know, but you're not factoring in word of mouth, friends and family, bribes?
23:47No one's gonna buy this thing, Jen.
23:49Fine.
23:50What are you doing?
23:54How many orcas does 20 grand save?
23:57Okay, you can't just make this out to whales.
24:00Why not?
24:01Plus, you spelled it wrong.
24:02That's the country.
24:03Fun night, ladies.
24:05Is anyone gonna eat this?
24:06It's gonna spoil if not.
24:08I'm taking it.
24:08That would be a show.
24:09Yeah, but you have to pay for the calendar.
24:10It's our fee!
24:12See?
24:13They had a great night.
24:16All right, Chelsea, let's not forget that Conk is my company.
24:20Okay?
24:21Get your own show.
24:25Whales again.
24:34Working hard, boys?
24:35There he is.
24:36Last week was a write-off.
24:37We got a double-timing.
24:38Oh, check it out.
24:39It's Conk o'clock.
24:41J.G.R.O.G. with the penis pipe.
24:42Hello, little forest animals.
24:44Would you like to smoke some cock?
24:46Backwards with the hammer cocks?
24:48You're getting rained on by a couple whale cocks.
24:50Anyone know who drew these?
24:51Janet.
24:52Think she's only ever seen one dick.
24:54What a waste of time this was.
24:56What are you talking about?
24:57Dewey gave you a stellar AI horse cock,
24:59and Janet gave you another.
25:01Yeah, double-dicker.
25:02Those cockulos.
25:03Multi-cock.
25:03One for pleasure, one for pissing.
25:05All right, back to work, you fox.
25:07Cock-a-saurus rex.
25:08I need this.
25:14economical music playing in the world.
25:26Turning these ranches,
25:27busting my knuckles,
25:29banging them into steel.
25:31Working overtime,
25:33trying to save a dime,
25:34but the tax man's on my heels.
25:36I can't get ahead but I don't fall behind.
25:39What the fuck, Dewey?
25:41This is me! It's me!
25:43You do not have a food that big!
25:45The artista can be the subject too, you know.
25:47You think you're the ghost?
25:48This is a dormant beast within me for years,
25:50a beautiful, beautiful goat boy.
25:52You should have stayed dormant.
25:53Really, this is almost your last chance to get one of these.
25:56Uh, well, what about this?
25:58What about this? I have these amazing calendars.
26:01As you can see, it's me, and I have a huge penis,
26:03which is very much like the real thing.
26:05Just saying, okay?
26:07So, are you interested?
26:09It's called life.
26:10You get up and grind.
26:12Dollar ain't worth it if you ain't got the time.
26:15To get back with a 12 pack
26:17and a few good friends at County Line Crete.
26:21Drive too fast or down a little hard,
26:23but come Sunday we're praying to the Lord,
26:26and I work, work, work to do it all again.
26:31It's called life.
26:32It's gone in a minute.
26:33Don't close your eyes cause you blink and you miss it.
26:36It's called life.
26:37Going to live it in a riot.
26:42It's called life.
26:43Oh!
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