- 4 hours ago
The Bad Guys The Series S02E02
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:01You
00:19Hip hip cheerio the bad guys are off to steal the Queen's Jews love to get the old paws on
00:25some rare
00:26British Lou I do should probably use a British moniker today like the bad lads
00:31Yeah, the bad lads you can drop the accents. We got a problem
00:36Everything's not okay in the UK the traveling showcase of the Queen's crown jewels has been delayed after the flight
00:42from merry old England was
00:44Unmerrily canceled be that famously terrible UK weather bangers and mash bubbles and squeak what the bobbies
00:52But hey guess we have a whole day off from criming day off from from crime
00:57Yeah, no, that's not gonna work for me. I got to do a heist a day or I get hot
01:00flashes. I have a doctor's note
01:02Blimey if I go a day without doing a crime. I'll poop I will again. We really can drop the
01:07accents now
01:09I could go a day without criming it'd be hard, but I bet I could you
01:14You're the most impulsive crook I ever met you wouldn't last an hour
01:18Hoppycock which is British for try me a scaly sock puppet. Oh, that sounds like a challenge
01:24What if it is, huh? What you gonna do about it? All right, let's all calm down
01:27There's no need to get competitive about who could go the longest without doing crime because I'd nick to win
01:32off you blokes without drippin' a sweat
01:34Them's fighting words. You're gonna take that wolf. I mean as our leader. I'd clearly win because I
01:41Have the most crime control. Yes that well-known quality of a great criminal that I didn't just make up
01:47Afraid not govlar. I'd last the longest things down Bob's your uncle
01:54We're doing a contest to write in it and the first rule no more access
02:01rubbish
02:36The rules to our contest are simple who made you the
02:40I was getting to that as much as I'd love to destroy you all in a battle of wills and
02:45I would I can't compete because it's literally
02:47Impossible for me to stop doing crime even for a single day several countries
02:51I secretly run as a cyber shadow Lord would instantly collapse yada yada so I'll be the referee
02:56Now pay attention you'll have to make it 12 hours aka one full crime business day without committing any crime
03:03any
03:03Any crime and I'll be watching you so no funny business any questions
03:11I'm gonna need you to be a little more specific about what constitutes a crime
03:15Yeah, what about hijinks?
03:17Yeah, I'll allow it but cool it on the shenanigans. What about mischief that leans into a little misdemeanor a
03:24death a penalty?
03:25Oh no shame if you all want to back out now. No, I no way. I have total crime control.
03:31Oh, we'll see about that
03:32I don't have a crime problem. I can stop whenever I want. I'm going to destroy you
03:39How about we make it a little more interesting we haven't doled out the new bedrooms yet, and there's that
03:45nice big one
03:49I mean that room rightfully should go to me as the leader and win it fair and square
03:55Because the bad guy with the largest wardrobe me deserves it most again me with a room like that
04:02I'd never have to deal with the mess you slobs make ever again snake specifically big mistake fish boy
04:09I actually didn't care about the room, but now that I know how much you want it
04:12I'm gonna steal it from you by winning then it's settled whoever can make it until the end of the
04:17day without committing a heist wins bragging rights and
04:21The room and the day starts
04:35Wow, okay, let's say that was a mulligan, but you only get one false start
04:40We're going for real this time, so I don't know don't do crime. Maybe use your time productively to unpack
04:47all these boxes
04:49Unpacking is kind of like cleaning. Yeah, let's do this. I can unpack more than piranha anything to get my
04:55mind off crime
05:02This is just a bunch of old bush pop sticks. Why would I pack this anybody else have the feeling
05:07that somebody's been going through our stuff?
05:12Oh
05:12Oh, yeah, some sort of shadowy figures been looming around the lair desperate to get into your moving boxes paranoid
05:19much
05:20My old salesman get up. I can go deep method into character a character that isn't tempted to cry
05:26Norman P. McNormal the most average regular unremarkable uncriminal guy ever
05:33I
05:33Found my sleepy Pinty now I can snooze the day away instead of feeling the urge to scourge. This is
05:39good not thinking about crime at all
05:41Wait a sec
05:42The grand loop criminal
05:45These are my favorite comics as a pup. I totally forgot I had this
05:49Oh the swagger the class the joie de heist pretty much modeled my entire vibe after him. This will be
05:56the perfect distraction
05:59Why it's just me Norman McNormal top salesman in quarter one of the fiscal year, which of course is different
06:06than the calendar year
06:07Yeah, I'm fine. Not tempted to do crime at all. Nope. Not me
06:13Better figure out something fast snake
06:22I'm unstoppable
06:24Hey piranha try to beat me now
06:27Hey shark shark shark check me out. Look at me shark
06:31Actually, it's Norman. That's a mighty fine knot work. You got there. I haven't seen a sheep shank that tight
06:36since I was a shark sprout
06:38I bet you think I want you to untie me, but guess what? I don't
06:43That's nice. I'm actually gonna do my taxes now, but you have fun. Hey, yep. No one untie me
06:49You all think I want you to but I've never been better
06:52You might even hear something that sounds like you know me like begging to be untied
06:56Yeah, I have total crime control and everything is fine
07:06Hey, uh, Norman, you're not gonna untie me, right? Sure. Well, I promise it is weird that you keep checking
07:12so often
07:13Yeah, no, no. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Good. Good. Good
07:16Good
07:21You gotta untie me right now. I need to steal some dessert wolf
07:27Shark, please
07:29I'm dying
07:31Literally in your best interest to untie me you made me promise not to and I
07:37Norman P. McNormal always keep my word. It's on the McNormal family Chris, by the way
07:48Oh
07:48He honestly lasted longer than I expected
07:50That's one down three left in the competition for the win and the room man
07:56He's a perfectly rendered drawings of slick crimes being done on the dangerous streets of Paris are totally not tempting
08:03at all
08:04We succulent French crime
08:10I'm out baby and trust me whoo-hoo. It's worth it
08:17Ah
08:18Man, I love stealing. I just love not paying. I love wanting a push-pop and then I get that
08:24push-pop no matter what crime
08:26You are my mistress and my muse
08:30Yeah, I gotta go for a walk or something. I can't stay in here. Oh
08:34Mind if old Norman comes along
08:40This fresh air is great totally got my mind off crime
08:49Oh
08:49My credit card number is six nine seven zero
08:54Wow the big city
08:56I sure hope no one takes advantage of my bright-eyed optimism and robs me blind on day one
09:01Is it just me or they're like an extra amount of crimes out here just waiting to happen just you
09:06friend Oh, how are you doing this?
09:08Well, oh shark's gone deep method
09:11See, I'm still in here, but when I go deep method shark becomes Norman going this deep can be hard
09:18to come back from
09:19Oh
09:21Oh, but he's a professional so nothing to worry about. I don't even know why I said that last part
09:27out loud
09:27Oh
09:28Wow
09:29Looks like you're having a hard time. What's going on? Mr. Crime Control
09:36Hey, uh Norman keep talking to tell me about that would you call it backstory? Yeah that my pleasure
09:43I'm a simple salesman with a small family little Norman junior place little league. So I call them my little
09:49slugger
09:50Ha ha his birthday's coming up. So we're planning to take him to the water park
09:57Man do I feel rested yeah, I'm ready for more snoozing. Where's my tea?
10:02And I thought you tooted a lot when you were awake. It's okay to be jealous of my sleep squeakers.
10:06So you're out already, huh?
10:08Pretty embarrassing why I oughta
10:12You're lucky. I've got push-pump paralysis. I
10:15May have lost I can't let that tiny tour win
10:24Hey webs, I'm free to do as I please now, right?
10:29Sorry, that was just for fun. You have no idea the power you feel when you blow a whistle, but
10:33yes
10:34You're out of the game. So whatever you got up your sleeve my legs are tied
10:45Hey piranha is that a huge monster attacking the city outside
10:50Big Greg is back in town
10:53Whoops false alarm. Anyway, your tea is ready drink up. I'm sure it'll knock you right out
11:03Feel a little chipper are we I feel
11:08Like wide awake and ready to do some crime
11:11It's time to do what I do best
11:14Cleaning montage on max mode wait, what?
11:18I
11:19I
11:21I
11:30I
11:31I
11:31I
11:32I
11:34I
11:35What the heck just happened?
11:36Well looks like he's crashing so he'll sleep more might be out for the day was that your intention weird
11:42But who am I to judge? I'm just a tiny genius with a whistle
11:49I
11:49And that's the ins and outs of working in door-to-door sales
11:53Now let me tell you all about the magic of corporate bookkeeping you see it all starts with your classic
11:59spreadsheets
12:04I
12:05That's not good
12:07Oh
12:27That's not good
12:30Hmm
12:30Bud you've committed sleep crimes
12:33Oh
12:34Your slept o mania is contagious you've been using my toothbrush
12:37I've never touched the toothbrush in my life stop trying to change the subject
12:40I caught you I caught you red-handed
12:42Wait a minute rewind that back
12:44Gladly
12:46Something's not right
12:50There's dirty dishes in the sink this footage is obviously fake you know I'd never do crimes before scrubbing the
12:56grubbing you tried to sabotage me
12:58Because of your twisted sense of competition
13:03Hey webs you seeing this feels pretty crimey to me
13:07Sorry the whistle has a mind of its own but you started this so I'll allow it way ground rules
13:15So I said working hard or hardly working and he replied please stop talking to me and after that we
13:23became the fastest of friends
13:25Jiminy Christmas does Norman Junior ever love a good pinwheel
13:30The RV
13:34I
13:35Want that room but I can't
13:37I can't do this anymore
13:39Bonjour little wolf car
13:41The Grand Loop criminal
13:43You're real? You're my idol
13:45Oui oui you have taste most excellent
13:47But tell me why do we sit on the bench when we should be ransacking this silly baby town
13:53Listen this is gonna sound crazy
13:55Um
13:56Crazier than hallucinating a cartoon
13:59Yes no maybe but I can't do crime right now
14:01I have to prove I have crime control
14:05You know I'm sure
14:06Ah yes of course
14:08Look at troll criminal definitely a thing
14:11So I can't do crime for a full business day
14:13No crime for the entire day
14:15But that is so
14:17So
14:19Labyrinth
14:20It is almost funny
14:21Let us draw our heads back and laugh at your delusion
14:26No thank our son of mine is going to be so pathetic
14:29Now stand up that I might better beat you with my baguette
14:33Do I have to?
14:35Oh
14:35Ow
14:36Ow
14:37Oh wow
14:39Wolf's losing it
14:40Hysterical
14:45Piranha put that down
14:48Wow look at the time
14:549pm but that's
14:56The end of the crime business day
14:58You made it see look
14:59You made it it's the end of the crime business day
15:03You won
15:04Wow
15:05You beat me fair and square
15:08Ha ha crime
15:09How I miss you
15:18You
15:18You understand I have to prove my crime control to my team
15:22It's the only way to win the biggest bedroom
15:24The biggest bedroom?
15:26You never mentioned this was a prize
15:28The leader of any operation criminal deserves nothing less than the big chambray of sleep
15:34Exactly
15:35I could use the extra room to plan heist and build boards
15:38Ah
15:40On crowd
15:40We must defeat the big fish eh
15:43It is simple
15:44You must trick him into doing crime first
15:46Fish are notoriously galabal
15:48They fall for anything even push pop stick puppets
15:50What?
15:51We shall destroy norman
15:53Transforming him from happy pappy
15:55To desperate dada
15:57Look the mark approaches
15:59I just yeah I
16:00I don't know if I could do that to norman
16:02I mean shark
16:03Oh
16:04Come on
16:05You didn't come here to make les amis
16:06The sooner you defeat him the sooner we rest like the city
16:09Think of it
16:10You and me
16:11Your childhood it all
16:13Doing crimes together
16:14Being super cool
16:16And eating very long bread
16:18Well sacrableu I'm in
16:20Ah don't do that
16:21It's offensive
16:25Wolf
16:26Oh Wolf
16:27Don't worry I got you a pinwheel too buddy
16:30And a good evening to you
16:32Norman speaking
16:33Hi uh uh Norman
16:35It's uh
16:35Come on
16:36And hence the delusion
16:37Norman it's your boss at the
16:39Sales
16:40Job
16:40Place
16:41Thing
16:42Whatever listen up
16:42You're fired
16:43You're fired from selling your sales
16:45Goodbye forever
16:49Hello
16:50Uh Norman
16:51It's your husband Kenneth
16:53Sweetie
16:53I
16:54Terrible news
16:55Little Norman Junior is sick
16:57It's awful
16:57It's his uh
16:58Splungle
16:59His splungle
17:00It's a totally real internal organ that everyone has
17:03And Norman Junior's is perforated
17:06Nooo
17:07We need money for the transplant immediately
17:10If we only had say
17:11Jewelry stores were the money
17:14That would pay for a new Splungle for our boy
17:17I gotta go
17:18He's heaven and pain
17:21A little dark no?
17:22Yeah
17:22I went too far at the end there
17:36I
17:37Must do it for little Norman Junior
17:43Webs you're gonna want to see this
17:46Oh
17:47I'm already watching
17:48You're getting uply close to entrapment Wolf
17:51You're walking that line like a champion line walker
17:54Proceed
17:59Hurry Norman
18:00Think of Norman Junior
18:01You're running out of time
18:02You're right Wolf
18:03I need a fresh Splungle for my boy
18:05I don't have time to pull a heist
18:08I need a Splungle
18:10Right now
18:13Au revoir
18:16Luke
18:16Come back
18:17Rendezvous
18:18Baguette
18:19Ha ha
18:20Oh man
18:21I needed that
18:22Feeling looks good on me
18:23Right webs
18:25That's a really obvious crime buddy
18:28You're out
18:29What?
18:29But you said I already won
18:31Did she though?
18:34You made it
18:36It's the end of the crime business day
18:38You won
18:41I faked it all
18:43You idiot
18:44And you fell for it
18:47You lose
18:48You lose
18:49You lose
18:55Webs you see this
18:56He's finally snapped
18:58Technically you're both out of the competition now
19:00So I have no jurisdiction
19:02But personally
19:03I'm team fish on this one
19:04Ahhhh
19:07Ahhhh
19:08Ahhhh
19:09Ahhhh
19:11Ahhhh
19:12Ahhhh
19:12Ahhhh
19:12Ahhhh
19:13Shark
19:14It's me
19:15Get to map it
19:16You've crossed over
19:17There is no star
19:19Only German
19:20Oh render the Splungle unto me
19:24Huh
19:33Oh careful
19:35Daywalking is a crime
19:36There's not even any cars
19:38And I look both ways
19:43Come on
19:43Come on
19:44Come on
19:45Change
19:46Change
19:47Please change
19:48Ohhhhh
19:50Ooooooh
19:54Zaku
19:55Draco
19:58Zaku
19:59Wolf is out
20:00I got my holeball in here
20:03He's going to kill me
20:05Oh
20:05He's going to kill me
20:07Aaaaah
20:08BOOM
20:09BOOM
20:10Haaaa
20:11Haaaa
20:13Haaaaa
20:13Haaaaa
20:14Haaaaa
20:16Unbelievable! Looks like our contest has now transformed into some sort of gladiatorial deathmatch!
20:23Exciting!
20:25You guys, you gotta help me! Norman is out of control!
20:29Spid rope! Do something!
20:33And C!
20:36The only way to defuse an actor.
20:39I really lost it there. I'm so sorry, Wolf. I went too deep.
20:46I think I did too. And hey, it's clear you're the winner. Just please, don't ever eat me again.
20:52Actually, trying to harvest a roommate's organ, even a made-up one like a Splongle, is definitely a crime. And
20:58it's still just $6.45.
21:01Wait, so after all that, there's no winner?
21:03I guess none of you have crime control.
21:06I can't believe you use arts and crafts against me! That's insidious!
21:10Yeah, and I do it again!
21:12I can't believe the crime I had no control over was jaywalking! That's so embarrassing! So unlike my idol, La
21:18Grande Lupe.
21:19And now I don't get the big bedroom? You really blew this for me, Shark.
21:23Well, I wouldn't have chased you if you hadn't threatened my boy!
21:25Your son isn't real! Neither is Lupe!
21:30Guys, guys, come on. Let's simmer down. I'm sure we can come to some sort of agreement.
21:37You know, I'd rather let Webs have that big room than any one of you deluded weirdos.
21:42Fine. Whatever.
21:45Oh, I mean, if you all insist, I guess they wouldn't mind taking the big room.
21:56There's no way Webs, like, planned this whole thing, right?
21:59What? How?
22:00Impossible.
22:01Not if you have total crime control.
22:08The traveling showcase of the Queen's Crown Jewels has been delayed
22:11after the flight from merry old England was un-maryling cancelled.
22:21I found my sleepy-pin tea!
22:29Sweet, succulent, French crime!
22:31My old salesman get up! I can go deep!
22:34Method into care.
22:55Document into aCarbill.com
22:55How much is this?
22:59Throughout the scene.
23:04This is a real big cartoon.
23:04He is a real-life man.
23:04We have a real-life man.
23:04We are a real-life man.
23:05We are a real-life man.
23:10The Internet is a real-life man.
23:12The Internet is a real-life man.
23:14We're meant to be a real-life man.
23:44.
24:14.
24:44.
25:14.
25:15.
25:15.
25:15.
25:15.
25:15.
25:16.
25:16.
25:17.
25:22.
25:23.
25:24.
25:25.
25:26.
25:26.
25:26.
25:28.
25:30.
25:30.
25:30.
25:31.
25:31.
25:32.
25:32.
25:32.
25:32.
25:32.
25:32.
25:34.
25:34.
25:34.
25:34.
25:34.
25:34.
25:34.
25:34.
25:34.
25:35.
25:35.
25:35.
25:36.
25:36.
25:36.
25:36.
25:36.
Comments