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Short filmTranscript
00:01This programme contains strong language and sexual content.
00:04This is a no-holds-barred conversation.
00:08I've took three women to Ibiza for dates.
00:11I love that.
00:12Different women.
00:13So, yeah, even if it doesn't work out,
00:14you're probably going to get a holiday to Ibiza.
00:16So, yeah, women.
00:18You're in the sun.
00:19Whatever that technique was, it did not do it for me.
00:22And me and my pals now refer to him as emu guy.
00:25I walked out to the window and he was like,
00:27totally shat himself around and he's like,
00:30I was like, what are you doing?
00:30He's like, oh, I'm catching Pokemon.
00:33Catching Pokemon.
00:33And I was like, I don't know what was worse there.
00:36Fear or catching Pokemon, am I?
00:39I'm Sophie Gravia.
00:40I'm Christine McGuinness.
00:42And we are here to be a judgment-free space
00:44to help you figure out your situation shifts.
00:47And today we are going to be chatting all things dating.
00:51My favourite subject.
00:53We're going to be talking about the good, the bad
00:54and the downright ugly.
00:56Oh, gosh.
00:56We've all been there.
00:58We have.
00:58So let's start.
01:00Okay.
01:00So tell me your best ever date.
01:02Oh, God.
01:03Um, okay.
01:05So I've done, I've done this twice with the same person.
01:08Okay.
01:10Just reusing your dates.
01:13It's, it was the location.
01:14So it's a place called Esfedra in Ibiza,
01:18which if you're spiritual, if you're into that kind of thing,
01:22it's the third most magnetic place on earth.
01:25So it's a place that people go to manifest, to let go.
01:28I love that.
01:29Yeah.
01:29It's absolutely stunning.
01:31It really is one of the most beautiful places I've ever seen.
01:34And you can.
01:35You've took somebody to Ibiza for a date.
01:37Gorgeous.
01:38Well, yeah.
01:38I love that.
01:39I've took three women to Ibiza for dates.
01:42I love that.
01:43Different women.
01:44So yeah, even if it doesn't work out, you're probably going to get a holiday to Ibiza.
01:47Yeah, exactly.
01:47So here we go.
01:48We're in.
01:49You're in the sun.
01:50Yeah.
01:51Yeah.
01:51So this one, obviously we've been a couple of times and we went to Esfedra
01:55and it's just the most beautiful view, the sunset, the energy.
02:00There's just something there that is calm and you can't possibly have a bad time.
02:07So that was absolutely stunning.
02:11And I don't think it's going to ever be beaten, but who knows?
02:15Well, mine feels shit now because I was going to say my best date was just a nice wholesome
02:22child going mini golf and then going for a coffee.
02:26That's cute though.
02:27I love a pair of mini golf.
02:29I've done that too.
02:29Just like something fun.
02:31Like, so you're not sitting in that sort of restaurant environment worried about how
02:36you're eating and if you're going to get stuff on your face or who's paying the bill
02:40or like, so you're not overthinking, but it's like a wee fun activity.
02:44That's like my favourite first date.
02:46I've done that as like on planned dates when we've just realised we've got a couple of
02:51hours.
02:51Shall we go and do something fun?
02:53And then we've done crazy golf.
02:55But for a nice planned special date, yeah, Esfedra was incredible.
02:59I went to meet someone once for coffee and it was just going to be like a quick coffee
03:04in between me working.
03:06So I went to meet this person, but straight away, as soon as I met them, I felt like they
03:12had a pure chip on their shoulder, like, you know, that way.
03:14Like, so they're like, alright, like, just very, and I was like, oh, hi, like, blah, blah, blah.
03:20And they'll write what you want and like that sort of thing.
03:23And I thought, God, I don't even know if this person wants to go on this date with me.
03:27Like, they weren't very, like, warm or like, and, yeah, so then we were having a, I was
03:34explaining that I was going to go to Amsterdam in a couple of days time.
03:39And I said, well, I don't know what I'm going to wear.
03:42I was only going for maybe a couple of days, but I had said I've added on a case.
03:46And he was like, what, one of the big cases?
03:48And I says, yeah, like, because I don't know what I'm going to wear when I'm over there.
03:52I don't know what the weather's like.
03:53I just would rather, and he was like, that's absolutely ridiculous.
03:57Like, if you were gone with me, you wouldn't be adding on a case and all that.
04:01And I thought, oh, my God, like, it was so, like, just the way he was speaking,
04:05I was thinking, oh, my God, I really don't like that.
04:06Oh, yeah, this is never going to work.
04:08Yeah.
04:08I like to have two big suitcases.
04:10You do.
04:11You're lucky I'm taking one for a weekend.
04:14Then we walked out of the shop, right?
04:17And there was, like, a pigeon walking on the thing, and he ran up to the pigeon
04:22and done, like, a big stamp for his foot for the pigeon to fly.
04:26And I was like...
04:26Where did you find him?
04:27How did he even get a date off you in the first place?
04:29I know.
04:30I don't even know, because it was, like, years and years and years ago.
04:33I must have met him online and just arranged to meet, like, a coffee date.
04:37But I just was thinking, what the fuck?
04:40What do you think about vulgar talk?
04:42Because I'm not prude.
04:44And sometimes I shock myself with what comes out of my mouth.
04:46Usually if I'm having a laugh and a giggle.
04:48Yeah.
04:48But, like, on a first date when you don't really know someone,
04:52I get there might be some nervous energy there.
04:54But the only...
04:55The one where I would say just was a bad date was because of the words that were...
05:01How vulgar the language was.
05:02As in sexually?
05:03Towards me.
05:04And I was just kind of like...
05:06Yeah, I hate that.
05:06It's disrespectful, isn't it?
05:07Yeah.
05:07Yeah.
05:08Like, there's flirty banter and there's, like,
05:11oh, you know, can't wait for later, whatever.
05:13But when it's, like, in detail, like, what?
05:16Like, no.
05:17Over dinner.
05:18It's too much.
05:19Like, oh, everything.
05:20Every other mouthful of food is, oh, yeah, it's nice and moist.
05:23Oh, moist.
05:25No one ever wants to hear that word.
05:28Well, there is a new trend of real life dating.
05:32So, it's basically, rather than planning a date going out,
05:37it's people that are doing everyday things with their date,
05:41whether it's walking the dog, going to the supermarket,
05:45just going about their life.
05:48Boring.
05:49Do you think it's boring?
05:50Right, okay.
05:50So, I love this for the reality.
05:55So, you're going to see each other in your natural...
05:57Habitat.
05:58Natural habitat.
05:59No.
06:02Or maybe not.
06:04Actually, for me, it would go really bad.
06:05If people see me naturally walking around the shop,
06:08they'd leave.
06:09It wouldn't go any further.
06:12But I like the idea that you're going to see each other casual.
06:16Obviously, for costs, it's gorgeous to just go for a walk in a park
06:20and enjoy that instead.
06:21But I think you have to be further along.
06:23I think your first dates do need to be exciting.
06:25You do want to be dressed up.
06:26You do want to feel sexy.
06:28Yeah.
06:29I have a bit more going on for the conversation.
06:31I have just only recently started doing these real life date things,
06:36which I didn't really see as dates.
06:38I've just seen it as like, you know, we've got a few hours.
06:41Should we go and do something and we'll go for a nice walk?
06:43But actually, we did turn it into like a day date.
06:47Yeah.
06:47And it's lovely.
06:49We walked through a nice park and we went and got a cheese toasty
06:53and it was all nice and cute.
06:55But because I've known her for a while, it was easy.
06:58But then that's like a natural progression, isn't it, anyway,
07:01that you would do with someone.
07:03So you would naturally just end up doing these wee days.
07:06Yeah, I wouldn't want to do that at the beginning.
07:08But for a first date.
07:09No.
07:09To go to the supermarket.
07:10No, because I can deal with a bit of silence or something now
07:15where you're kind of going, oh, look, that's a cute dog.
07:18Oh, look at the baby in the pram and you're walking through the park.
07:21But not on a first date, no.
07:23Yeah.
07:23Oh, do you like Lurpak?
07:25It's overpriced.
07:27So this is what I'm thinking now.
07:29What do you do if you do a supermarket date with somebody
07:33and they're checking the price of everything?
07:37Oh, that would be a good way
07:38because there's nothing worse than somebody being stingy.
07:41Yeah, but is it someone being like...
07:43Or should they buy an off-brand?
07:45Yeah, what if someone goes straight to the best before...
07:48...the savers section today?
07:50Yeah, today.
07:51Should you...
07:51Oh, no.
07:52Is that a turn off?
07:53That's a red flag?
07:54Yes, it is.
07:54What if they're just really money savvy?
07:57I know, but there's a difference between people that are being money savvy
08:00and just being stingy.
08:03Yeah.
08:04And I couldn't live my life with someone with that.
08:07So maybe that's a good thing.
08:08Maybe that's...
08:08You need to stay out of the shop.
08:10You need to know.
08:10Yeah.
08:11Maybe you do need to know that.
08:12If I was walking the dog, I think that's quite a nice way to do it
08:16because it's chilled as well.
08:19You're not expected to stay out longer than you have to.
08:23Yeah.
08:23So if it doesn't go well, you know that you're just walking around the block
08:26and you're back at the house.
08:27No, see, I...
08:28The reason I want to go on a date is so I can stay out longer.
08:31Yeah, but I think the reason that I would want to go on a date
08:34is probably to get dressed up
08:36because I like dressing up and having a nice night.
08:38But if it's someone sitting with someone
08:39and you don't know how it's going then...
08:41So we're saying no to the day dates?
08:44I'm saying no to going to the supermarket.
08:46I wouldn't mind going a walk for a day date if it was a first date.
08:49I wouldn't mind going and taking the dog a walk.
08:52I've done a nice one recently in London.
08:56They've had this light show on and it's completely free.
08:58And it's just mad because it's so amazing,
09:00but it's completely free.
09:01Oh, nice.
09:01And I've seen loads of couples that are holding hands,
09:04so it was quite nice.
09:06But that was nice, I suppose, and it was easy
09:09because there was stuff to look at.
09:11It's like all these lights, statues,
09:12and you just walk around Canary Wharf
09:14and they have music to it and stuff.
09:17So that was lovely, but there was still something going on,
09:20so it didn't feel boring.
09:22Yeah, boring.
09:23But again, I'd need to know somebody to be comfortable
09:26to just do that.
09:28Yeah.
09:30Aye, 100%.
09:31That was nice.
09:32That was okay.
09:33But no, I want a proper...
09:35I think I still...
09:36You weren't spoiled.
09:37No, I just think that you should just date forever.
09:41Like, just keep dating each other.
09:43Yeah.
09:44And put that effort in and plan stuff.
09:46And I also think, again, this would take me time,
09:50but surprise dates where you kind of go,
09:53okay, listen, next Friday I want you to be available,
09:56make sure you're free.
09:57I'll let you know if you need a casual outfit
09:59or a dressy outfit, but I want to take you on a special date.
10:02I suppose it avoids idolisation as someone like of,
10:07that's, look, Christine's so glam and she's like this all the time.
10:12Yeah.
10:12But then when you meet someone and you're going around Morrisons
10:15and you've not got any makeup or you're going wherever,
10:18then it's actually like, oh no, Christine's a normal person
10:22and do you know what I mean?
10:24Yeah.
10:24So it avoids that.
10:25Yeah.
10:25But then sometimes, is it a bad thing for them
10:28to sort of idolise you a wee bit in the beginning?
10:30Because I think if you've got that connection with somebody,
10:33you meet someone and you think they're amazing at the start anyway.
10:35So you're just like...
10:36Got your rose tints.
10:37And I want them to think I'm amazing.
10:39Yeah.
10:40How long do you wait until you go completely like makeup free?
10:44Oh.
10:45Well, I suppose, I'm trying to think, like,
10:49I think even the first time Chris stayed over,
10:51I got up in the morning, brushed my teeth
10:53and put a wee bit of tinted moisturiser on
10:56as if that was my natural complexion.
10:59Probably for a while, but yeah.
11:02After about a month or something, that was me.
11:05I was like, this is it.
11:07This is what you're getting.
11:09Yeah.
11:09I mean, real life dating is cute.
11:11And again, it's, it's, it's nice.
11:13I suppose it saves money.
11:15You get to see people as they are naturally
11:17without trying to impress and everything.
11:19But for me, I think it needs to be a bit further down.
11:22I think I like, I think I like the idea of it,
11:25but probably not for a first date.
11:30Okay.
11:30So it's time for the Hot Mess Hotline.
11:33And this week it is a woman who is 29.
11:37And she wants to remain anonymous.
11:40And this has been recorded by someone else.
11:43Okay.
11:44Right.
11:44Are you ready?
11:44Let's do.
11:46Hey guys.
11:47So I recently went on a date with a guy and after a few drinks,
11:51I decided to go back to his.
11:52We started having sex and he was maneuvering me around into all manner of different positions.
11:58And at one point I was on all fours facing away from him.
12:01When I started to feel like a jabbing sensation down below.
12:05And I turned around to see this guy staring very intently at my vagina.
12:09And he had his hand in the shape of a bird beak and he was pecking at me.
12:14Now I immediately told him to stop and said that I wasn't enjoying it.
12:17And I went into his bathroom and I just ordered a taxi home.
12:20Whatever that technique was, it did not do it for me.
12:23And me and my pals now refer to him as emu guy.
12:26But should I have stuck with it?
12:30Like that?
12:31What the hell?
12:33Like that?
12:35Or like...
12:37I'm so confused about one.
12:40Why was intently staring at the vagina?
12:43I hate that.
12:44Stop looking at it.
12:45I hate that.
12:47I'm like, why would you stare at it?
12:50No.
12:51I just don't...
12:52I don't...
12:53I don't...
12:54I don't get it.
12:55I don't...
12:56Right, so all fours...
12:57You've got this woman in front of you.
13:01Why are you pecking at her with your hand?
13:05And...
13:06Yeah, I don't get it.
13:08I don't know what he was doing down there, but...
13:11I'm happy that she left it.
13:14So I was like, could have caused some damage.
13:17So what do you do though, right?
13:19So...
13:20If...
13:20I think with a man, it's pretty straightforward what you have to do,
13:25but it must be more difficult to please a woman.
13:29Like, so what if this guy is just basically...
13:32got absolutely no past experience and he thinks that's decent?
13:37Is that his fault?
13:38But he must have...
13:39He must have confidently thought that this was gonna...
13:42feel nice or impress her.
13:45Maybe someone's told him that it was good.
13:47Someone must have liked it in the past or...
13:48something.
13:50But I just...
13:51I'm absolutely just...
13:58What would you do in that situation?
14:00So would you stop or would you say, listen, that's...
14:03I don't enjoy that.
14:04Like, come up here and we'll try this.
14:07I think, right, sex is massively important to me, for me.
14:11It just...
14:12It matters.
14:13And I...
14:15I've realised that actually communication is a massive part of it.
14:19Yeah.
14:19And you should feel comfortable and open enough to be able to say
14:24what you do and don't like.
14:25Yep.
14:26But...
14:27I've never experienced anything like that where I've had to just go.
14:32But I would...
14:33Yeah, I would have to...
14:33I would have to say, listen, I'm just not feeling it.
14:36I'm not...
14:36I'm not feeling it.
14:37I'm not enjoying it.
14:38It would probably freak me out like that because it was...
14:41it was just a wee bit bizarre.
14:43But then...
14:44But does she need to tell him, really?
14:45Because if no one's telling him, he's gonna keep going around
14:48thinking that this is some kind of...
14:49I bet he doesn't do that manoeuvre again after someone's left.
14:53The poor guy's probably never had sex again.
14:56I just...
14:57I've got so many questions.
14:58I know.
14:58Like, I need to know what he was thinking.
15:02I...
15:02I think I would have to say.
15:04Maybe he has got a thing for...
15:05What were you doing?
15:06For birds or for animals and they just...
15:09Maybe he could...
15:10Maybe he's had too much to drink.
15:11Maybe he couldn't perform with his other body parts, so...
15:15Oh no, he was pretending.
15:16Maybe it was that.
15:17Maybe he was trying to give the feeling as though he was...
15:21Oh, crusty.
15:21Doing that.
15:22But...
15:23Yeah.
15:23She didn't like it and she left, thank God.
15:26I know.
15:26And it was intensely staring at the vagina.
15:29I don't like that.
15:30And now he's known as the Beak Man.
15:32I don't like that.
15:32So do you give you...
15:33Do you have nicknames?
15:34My friends have nicknames for every single guy.
15:38Yep.
15:38Yep.
15:40I love that because there's so many nicknames that we've got just for random people.
15:45And then to the point where I don't know their names.
15:48So someone that I know was dating a guy and he had this bizarre pair of yellow trainers and they
15:58were just not nice.
15:59So he was yellow trainer guy.
16:01And like, so stuff like that.
16:03And we make up nicknames for absolutely everybody that we know.
16:07I do.
16:08I do.
16:08And it's not even for like romantic situationships.
16:12No.
16:13It's usually if I'm in the car, I'll say in case I'm with my kids, but it's literally in case
16:18I'm with anyone.
16:19Yeah.
16:20I don't want names flashing off.
16:22So I'll save people under an emoji or a letter or something.
16:26And then I forget.
16:27Yeah.
16:28I forget.
16:29And then like with work people where I need to remember names, then I'll put like the job title underneath.
16:35But with actual situationships, if it's something like that, like Emu Man, where I know I'm not going to speak
16:44to them again,
16:45I would, I would save it under that to remind me to never answer the phone if that happens.
16:48Do not answer.
16:49Yeah.
16:50I remember my friend once keeping it, they actually ended up getting married.
16:55Um, but she, she had his name saved under pencil penis for a long time.
17:02Oh no.
17:02And then once she couldn't find her phone.
17:05So she was like, babe.
17:06Oh no.
17:07Can you call me phone for me?
17:09I can't find me phone.
17:11And he'd come up, he found it in the kitchen.
17:13She was like, here's your phone, babe.
17:14And it said pencil penis on them.
17:17Why would you not change that?
17:20What the fuck?
17:21It's because he just had a long skinny one.
17:23Oh no.
17:24I know.
17:25They got married though.
17:26Pencil penis.
17:27Stalled on the track.
17:28Yeah.
17:32So this week's drama drop, there's a Canadian sports reporter who's gone viral because she's took up an avalanche awareness
17:40course just to look at the mountain men because she likes mountain men.
17:45So she's put herself there in the place where she can potentially find a man that she likes.
17:51Oh.
17:52Didn't even take the sport off or anything.
17:55Just went on an awareness course just to be around the guys.
17:58Just to be around the guys.
17:59Yeah.
17:59Would you ever do that?
18:00Would you ever take a hobby off?
18:01I think it was really smart to do that, but I think I've probably not taken up a hobby, but
18:08I've probably lied about maybe going to the gym as much as I got in my fitness levels.
18:17I was thinking that if someone's into fitness, you go, yeah, I'll go every day.
18:21And I have, I have on, I was going to say a couple, but on probably many occasions got up
18:26in the morning, threw on my gym clothes, took a banging selfie as if I'm heading to the gym and
18:33jumped back into bed.
18:34Yeah.
18:35Yeah.
18:36Because I know that if I was talking to someone, it would impress them.
18:41I think we've all done that.
18:42Yeah.
18:43We've all acted like that.
18:44I've, I've done far too much.
18:51I've done that.
18:52I've, I've pretended to be interested in stuff that I wasn't.
18:55I've pretended to know about things that I've got no idea about.
18:58So I blagged it.
18:59Like it could be a TV show that someone's really into.
19:02And I'd be like, yeah, yeah.
19:03Oh my God.
19:03I couldn't believe it when that happened.
19:05Chatgy PT in the corner.
19:06Yeah.
19:07I've pretended that I've known about fashion brands that I haven't, like just to look like I know what I'm
19:13talking about.
19:13I was like some common interests.
19:16Yeah.
19:16Yeah.
19:16I've, I've copied similar styles of clothing just to sort of be a bit more.
19:24Edgy.
19:25Like them.
19:26Like them.
19:27Yeah.
19:28Exactly.
19:29And it's only recently I've sort of realized and been thinking that no one really wants to date themselves.
19:36Yeah.
19:37So I need to stop that.
19:39I need to stop.
19:40So like, obviously there is attractive things that people do.
19:44Like, so obviously that woman was into sort of a big macho mountain men, fair play.
19:49What do you, what would be like a hobby that someone's into that you find quite attractive?
19:55Um, oh, I love, it's not so much a hobby, but just more of like a trait.
20:00I like, I like someone who's quite creative or into music in some way, like a DJ.
20:06I do like somebody who's a bit sporty.
20:08Yeah.
20:09Who's into the fitness.
20:10I like that.
20:11Um, I can't do either, but I'm happy to watch.
20:15Yeah.
20:15You appreciate it?
20:16Yeah.
20:18Yeah.
20:18I think, um, like a nice gym guy.
20:22I just love a like nice set of shoulders.
20:25Somebody who's like banging at the gym.
20:29I think a healthy hobby is a good thing to have with your partner.
20:32Yep.
20:33Like going to the gym or whether it's like.
20:35Yeah.
20:35And I think sometimes if you're dating, so if you start dating someone and you're making
20:40out that you're fitter than what you are, then it's kind of making you going to have
20:45to go out there and get a bit fitter.
20:47So if anything, it's, it's helping you, isn't it?
20:52Okay.
20:53So Christine, what hobbies do you think would make someone undateable?
20:58I had a situationship once who loved gay men.
21:03Ugh.
21:03Like there's, there's different levels of gay men.
21:05So would you say this, would you say there's.
21:08This is more of me.
21:09Hobbies.
21:10Yep.
21:10Hobbies that are really unattractive in a partner.
21:14Yeah.
21:15Gaming.
21:15Yeah.
21:16I would agree.
21:17Yeah.
21:17And I don't mind a little bit if that's like your wind down.
21:21That's how your child.
21:22I don't mind if I lie in my bed and play Candy Crush or park buses all night.
21:26Yeah.
21:27If you're trying to switch your brain off, but it's the big, like the collectors, the
21:30ones that are on there all night.
21:32And the, you know, the talking to the headsets on and the recording it on a live stream and
21:36all of that, that I find a little bit too, too much.
21:39But I had one once who loved a Nintendo Switch.
21:44Okay.
21:45Took it everywhere.
21:47And, and yeah, she, she loved it.
21:49And we didn't spend a lot of time together because we didn't live close together.
21:52But, um, she asked me if I would get one so that we could play games together when we
21:59weren't even in the same city.
22:02So me just trying to please, I was like, yeah, of course I will.
22:05I've got no time to sit and play on a Nintendo Switch.
22:08My kids found them.
22:09I haven't got time.
22:10So I bought it.
22:11I went on it once.
22:12And then I gave it to my kids and let them carry on.
22:15Oh my God.
22:17I couldn't do it.
22:17I went into it.
22:18I just didn't like it at all.
22:19It's the heck.
22:20But that was minimal.
22:22There was one who was obsessed with Pokemon.
22:28No.
22:28Didn't tell me.
22:29Catching.
22:30Purposely hid it from me.
22:31I'm not surprised.
22:32Because she knew that my kids were obsessed with Pokemon.
22:35So, and I'm not talking like a little obsession.
22:38I'm talking like collected all of the cards.
22:40No.
22:41Yeah.
22:42Done that catching thing.
22:43Like you, you know, when someone's like busy on the phone.
22:46Yeah.
22:46And catching the Pokemon around the car park.
22:50So I thought, um, I see, I kept seeing my dad's car one time, right?
22:56Parked in this random secluded car park.
22:58And I thought, I think he's having an affair.
23:01And I kept phoning my sister.
23:02And I was like, I've just seen my dad parked in that space again.
23:05And I was like, he's fucking having an affair or something.
23:09So she was like, you need to go in.
23:10But I was a bit of fear.
23:11Cause I didn't know what I was going to walk up to the window.
23:13I walked up to the window and he was like, totally shat his cell turn around.
23:17And he's like, I was like, what are you doing?
23:18He's like, Oh, I'm catching Pokemon.
23:21And I was like, I don't know what was worse.
23:23They have fear or catching Pokemon Halloween.
23:27I feel bad.
23:27I feel bad.
23:28It's a nice, it's a nice, innocent hobby.
23:30And I wouldn't want somebody who was going out partying all the time.
23:34Well, that's it.
23:34I know you needed where you are, don't you?
23:36So it's safe and it's nice and it's cute and it's sweet.
23:38But I just couldn't get my head around it.
23:41It's ecky.
23:42Because that's so much time and so much money on.
23:45Shite.
23:46It's a card.
23:47My kids collect them.
23:48It's a piece of paper.
23:49It's a card.
23:50And that's, I don't get it.
23:52So that, yeah.
23:53And I pretended.
23:55I bought the Switch.
23:56I didn't ever play on it.
23:57You done.
23:57You done so well.
23:59Thanks.
24:01You tried.
24:02But how important is it first?
24:04Well, how important is it to have that common interest and hobby?
24:09Like, does it really matter?
24:10Is it not okay to just enjoy separate things and still be happy?
24:13Yeah, I think you can totally be into different things.
24:17But I think if that person's talking about it, if it means something to them,
24:22then you listen so you gradually naturally gain a bit of interest in it, don't you?
24:28Or you gain some knowledge on the subject.
24:31But I don't think you have to love it the way that that person loves it.
24:35Yeah.
24:36Yeah, you can't force it.
24:37Yeah.
24:37See, I've really struggled with, not with everyone that I've dated, with watching films.
24:43It's like a thing.
24:45Okay.
24:45Like, let's sit and watch a film and I can't do it.
24:48I find it excruciating.
24:50I can't do it.
24:50Or I'm sat on my phone whilst I'm doing it.
24:53Or I'm okay with it being on and I'll, like, follow the storyline as much as I can.
24:59Yeah.
24:59But my attention just isn't there.
25:01Yeah.
25:01And I can think of so many other things to do for an hour than watch a film.
25:06Yeah, than watch a film.
25:07But it's always been a problem.
25:08And I've tried to try.
25:09It's because it's like a thing that you would do, naturally, when you're dating someone,
25:12wouldn't you?
25:13Yeah, I never have.
25:14So that's why.
25:15I wonder if because, obviously, my biggest, longest relationship was my marriage.
25:20And we had 15 years together.
25:23And it didn't really matter if we were into the same stuff or not, because we were just
25:27busy with our lives.
25:29Yeah.
25:29So I don't ever remember sitting and watching a film, ever.
25:32So then now, when I'm dating again, and they're like, oh, let's sit and watch a film for
25:36me.
25:36I think, why?
25:37Why?
25:38I can't keep my attention.
25:39I don't know what's going on.
25:40I'm going to keep pausing it and talking.
25:42I love a film.
25:43But, again, I struggle with the attention.
25:45But we'll just, like, maybe put a film on and then, before, when we've got distracted,
25:49then pause it, then maybe go a walk or whatever, and then come back and then watch a wee
25:54bit of a film.
25:54But I'm trying.
25:55I think it's important to try and be interested in what your partner's interested in as well.
26:00It's good to try.
26:02But, like, if it's just not there, it's not there.
26:03You can't force it.
26:04Do you know where I know?
26:05I think it's Amsterdam.
26:06They've opened up a cinema.
26:08Yes.
26:09Where it's got tables with knitting needles or pens and pencils.
26:13Federated stuff.
26:14Yeah, yeah.
26:14That you can sit and do something when you're watching a film.
26:17I could do that.
26:18Yeah.
26:19Yeah.
26:20I need a date to Amsterdam if you want me to watch a film.
26:22Okay.
26:27And that's us for today.
26:29It's been fab.
26:30It's gone so fast, but I've loved it.
26:32How funny.
26:33I love her.
26:34Loved hearing about the good, the bad, and the ugly dates.
26:37And the pecking.
26:38The pecking.
26:39Traumatised.
26:40That'll haunt me.
26:41It will haunt me forever.
26:42Oh, well.
26:43Emu man.
26:45So, goodbye.
26:47Thank you to everyone except people who play Pokemon.
26:52It's been a pleasure.
26:53No, I can't stop visualising it.
26:55I'm being serious.
26:57I keep thinking about it.
26:59I'm going to get Chris to try that tonight just to see how it feels.
27:01See if it feels nice.
27:03Maybe, maybe one must have felt nice.
27:05Imagine I said that to him in blue.
27:07What the fuck?
27:08Can you just peck me a bit?
27:09Just peck it.
27:10Do you mind just pecking with your hands?
27:14You just do it exactly like this.
27:16Can you just do this?
27:17Do you mind just pecking with your hands for a bit?
27:18Then just like, shout is anemia.
27:20What noise does anemia make?
27:23I don't know if they make a noise.
27:27I don't know if they make a noise.
27:29Quack.
27:31If you would like advice from Sophie and me on your situationship,
27:35then contact us at situationships at bbc.co.uk
27:39and on WhatsApp on 08000 224448.
27:43Please only contact us if you are over 18.
27:46Further information can be found at bbc.co.uk
27:50forward slash Radio Scotland.
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