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Short filmTranscript
00:04I'm coming!
00:10Yeah, hello.
00:11Hey, it's me, Steph.
00:13Are you okay?
00:15Yeah, just ran for the phone.
00:16Oh, well, you'll be glad you did, because guess what?
00:19Are you sure you're all right?
00:21Oh, no. Let's give it another minute before we panic.
00:25Well, assuming you don't drop,
00:27how would you like to go with me tonight
00:29to the Ranger game?
00:31You got tickets?
00:32Hey, I'm in the sports biz.
00:34You teach gym.
00:36Do you want to go or not?
00:37I want to go, but I can't.
00:39I promised Carrie we'd rent a movie tonight.
00:40Come on. I've only been back in town a month,
00:42and we've hardly seen each other.
00:44Don't you want to do a little brother-sister bonding?
00:48Where are the seats?
00:50They're in the garden. That's all you need to know.
00:52You know, I can't. I can't.
00:54I blew Carrie off the last few movie nights.
00:56This one could impact my sex life.
01:00I mean, I'll get the basics, but no extras.
01:05Hold on a second. I'm getting another call.
01:08Yeah, hello?
01:08Hey, hon. It's me.
01:10Big favor. You know Laura Beth,
01:12that lawyer I'm friendly with?
01:14Yeah.
01:15Well, she invited me out to dinner
01:16with her and a couple of her friends,
01:19and I just wanted to know if it was okay
01:20if I missed movie night.
01:22I already rented Girl Interrupted.
01:27I got it right here.
01:32Oh, come on, hon. I really want to go.
01:34You know, girls' night out.
01:35I could make some new friends.
01:37Or just friends, period.
01:40Go, go. Have fun.
01:41Oh, really?
01:42You're the best, honey. I love you.
01:44Okay, a week through,
01:45because I'm on the other line.
01:46All right, I'll see you around town.
01:47Bye.
01:49Good news.
01:50Carrie's going out with some lesbians.
01:56Happy birthday, dear Lisa.
02:00Happy birthday to you.
02:03Yay.
02:07Lovely voices.
02:08All of you, really.
02:10I hope you all die.
02:12Especially you.
02:13You're new.
02:14You should be nicer.
02:16Yeah, yeah, yeah.
02:16Too much peer pressure.
02:17I caved.
02:17I did, yeah.
02:19Come on, don't be like that on your birthday.
02:20It is not my birthday.
02:23They'll make us pay for the cake.
02:25All right, I give up.
02:27Happy 27th to me.
02:28There you go.
02:2927?
02:29I'm sorry, did you sleep
02:30through your last five birthdays?
02:33Well, I wouldn't mind
02:34jumping ahead a few years.
02:35Then I wouldn't have to go
02:36to my Barnard reunion next week.
02:38Going to reunion next week
02:39and you're eating fudge cake?
02:41Mm, gutsy.
02:42I like that.
02:44I can't wait to go
02:45to my college reunion.
02:47No, really.
02:47I just made partner.
02:49I just got married
02:50and I could crack a walnut
02:52with my ass.
02:54Great time for a reunion, baby.
02:56Or a bad time
02:57if you're a walnut.
03:00Carrie, have you gone
03:01to your reunion yet?
03:02Oh, actually,
03:03I didn't graduate, so...
03:06What?
03:07No, wait.
03:08I, uh...
03:08I thought you were a lawyer.
03:10Me?
03:11No, no, no.
03:12I'm a secretary.
03:15Like, the best secretary
03:16at the firm.
03:16Oh, thank you.
03:18Oh, wow.
03:19God, yeah.
03:20Yeah, hey,
03:21and I hear
03:21Secretary's Week
03:22is coming up soon,
03:23so that'll be good, right?
03:25Oh, my God,
03:26I totally forgot to tell you.
03:27What was it?
03:34Hey, hey, funny thing.
03:36Right after you called,
03:37Stephanie called
03:38with ranger tickets.
03:39Huh?
03:40Woo, talk about meant to be.
03:42I mean,
03:42I know we're all
03:43God's children,
03:44but sometimes
03:45I think he likes
03:46me extra special.
03:49Oh, that was
03:51ladies' night out, huh?
03:52What'd you...
03:52Did you talk tampons, huh?
04:02Do you hate men now?
04:07Okay.
04:08Okay, what's happening?
04:10I was having
04:11a great time.
04:13I mean, I was, like,
04:14finally hanging out
04:16with women
04:16who didn't annoy
04:16the crap out of me,
04:18you know?
04:18And I was, like,
04:19totally on, you know?
04:21I was funny
04:23and charming.
04:25Let me finish!
04:26You always interrupt me.
04:28Let me finish!
04:31Okay.
04:33And then,
04:33and then they started
04:35talking about
04:35college reunions,
04:36you know,
04:37and then they asked me
04:37about mine,
04:38and I said,
04:38oh, I didn't graduate.
04:39And they said,
04:40oh, but we thought
04:40you were a lawyer.
04:41And I said,
04:42no, I'm a secretary.
04:43And they were, like,
04:45oh, it's
04:46secretary's week?
04:48You love secretary's week.
04:51Okay.
04:52Okay.
04:53All right, okay.
04:54Okay, shit, okay.
04:55And I'm just as smart
04:56as they are.
04:57Yes, you are.
04:58Yes, you are.
04:58I know you are, baby.
04:59Okay.
05:00It's okay.
05:02Rangers won.
05:03It's okay.
05:05Come on,
05:05take a deep breath.
05:07There you go.
05:08There you go.
05:09Okay?
05:10Hey, hey.
05:11Hey, you know what
05:12cheers me up
05:13when I'm feeling sad?
05:15A snack.
05:20There you go.
05:21You feeling better?
05:23Not really.
05:25The milk's gone bad.
05:29I could have been like them.
05:30I really could have.
05:31I could have had a
05:32palm pilot, you know,
05:33and been going to my
05:34college reunion.
05:35But no,
05:35I had to drop out
05:36when my mom died
05:37to get a job.
05:38Good going, Carrie.
05:40You'll tell me
05:40something about
05:41fancy book learnings.
05:44You little lady
05:45got something
05:46much better.
05:47They call it
05:48street smarts.
05:49Yeah, great.
05:50It's true.
05:50Like when we're
05:51on the subway
05:52and some guy
05:52comes up to you
05:53asking for money
05:53and you pretend
05:54to be deaf.
05:59Learned that stuff
06:00in school.
06:01Look,
06:02I'm just going
06:02to go to bed.
06:03I've got a full day
06:04of coffee pouring
06:05and phone answering
06:06ahead of me.
06:07I want to be sharp.
06:07Thanks for trying
06:09to cheer me up.
06:10You're very sweet.
06:15I want to be sharp.
06:16I want to be sharp.
06:20I want to be sharp.
06:22I want to be sharp.
06:25I want to be sharp.
06:26I want to be sharp.
06:27I want to be sharp.
06:30I want to be sharp.
06:32I want to be sharp.
06:35I want to be sharp.
06:35I want to be sharp.
06:35I want to be sharp.
06:35I want to be sharp.
06:36I want to be sharp.
06:37I want to be sharp.
06:39I want to be sharp.
06:42Doug, wake up
06:43Everybody off
06:48It's important
06:49What is it?
06:52I'm gonna go back to school
06:54Okay
06:55Doug
06:56What?
06:57I'm gonna finish school, get a diploma
07:00and get a better job
07:04I have to pee
07:08I have my old course guide in the closet
07:10I can pick out my entire semester tonight
07:13You see, I've been lying there
07:15going over the whole thing in my mind
07:16How I screwed up my life and everything
07:18and then it just hit me
07:19Fix it, you idiot
07:20Can we talk about this later?
07:22But I'm so excited
07:23Aren't you excited for me?
07:24Don't hug me now
07:34Ah, I just did everything possible to avoid light
07:38Sorry
07:39Me too
07:40I think I splashed your bath salts
07:45So you're really serious?
07:46You wanna go to school again?
07:49Yes
07:49I can do this, Doug
07:51I know you can do it
07:53It's just...
07:54So are you gonna quit your job?
07:56No, I'll still work
07:57I'll just go to school at night
08:01When would I see you?
08:02I'll make time
08:04Plus, I won't be sad anymore
08:06I'll be happy
08:07You see?
08:08Okay, so you can finish college
08:10Then what?
08:10I don't know
08:11Maybe, uh...
08:12Go to law school?
08:13Others are spinning totally out of control
08:15Okay, could you try even being a little supportive?
08:18Well, I'm sorry, Carrie
08:19But you know, you're throwing a lot at me here
08:20Out of nowhere
08:21It's not out of nowhere
08:23It's always bothered me that I didn't finish school
08:25Tonight
08:26You know, give me a kick in the pants that I needed
08:30Get thicker pants
08:33Stop
08:35Well, what am I supposed to do when you're at your
08:38Homecoming dances and your pep rallies?
08:40Okay, I'm not going to Rydell High
08:44And you can take up a hobby
08:45What about the guitar you made me buy?
08:47That's still in the closet
08:48You can learn to play that
08:49Sounds like a lot of effort on my part
08:51Come on, honey
08:53Let me go to school
08:55I'll wear a uniform
08:58Fine, go to school
08:59I love you, I love you
08:59All right
09:06Off to the morning
09:28Wow, still studying, huh?
09:30Yep
09:30Queens College for knowledge, baby
09:33Hey, how you doing?
09:34Oh, I'm a little stressed
09:35This philosophy paper's due Tuesday, 9 a.m.
09:38And the professor said if it's not in on time, it's fish wrap
09:42Well, been pretty busy myself
09:45Yeah
09:46Wrote a little song
09:50You wrote a song?
09:52That's good progress in only one week
09:54Do you want to hear it?
09:55I think I need to, yes
09:56All righty, then, here we go
09:59Duggan, carry, carry, carry, carry
10:04Duggan, carry, carry, carry
10:05Duggan, carry, Duggan, carry
10:07Duggan, carry
10:08Arthur, Arthur, Arthur, Arthur, Arthur
10:11Arthur, Arthur, Arthur, Arthur
10:12Duggan, carry, Duggan, carry
10:14Okay, that is really good
10:15That is good, that's good
10:16I didn't get to the bridge yet
10:17That's okay, it gives me something to look forward to
10:20Okay
10:21Okay, then
10:28So you want to go for pizza?
10:30I can't
10:30You know, I'm a little under the gun here
10:32What am I supposed to do?
10:34I don't know, play your guitar
10:36I already did that
10:40Wrote a song
10:41Yeah, Dug, come on
10:42I am under a lot of pressure, okay
10:44And I'm starting to get a headache
10:46A headache?
10:47Well, you know what?
10:47Sounds like a little pizza's what you need
10:48Duggan, stop it
10:49Now, come on
10:50You know how important this is to me
10:52I also know that you promised me
10:54That you'd make time for me
10:55See, I knew this would happen
10:55Okay, so I underestimated
10:57How hard this was gonna be, alright
10:59Just cut me a break here
11:00You're not really that upset
11:01Because I can't go for pizza, are you?
11:03Because you haven't gone out for pizza in days
11:07I don't even know you anymore
11:10It's obvious
11:11I am not gonna get any work done here
11:13So if you need me
11:14I will be at the library
11:16Believe me
11:17I won't need you
11:17I'll be too busy here
11:18Getting my groove on
11:19Great
11:25Doug and pizza
11:27Doug and pizza
11:30Toppings, toppings, toppings, toppings
11:35Wow
11:36You go away for a few years
11:37And they totally revamped the menu on you
11:40So you gonna get something?
11:41No, I can't
11:42I used up all my fat points for the day
11:46My God
11:46The chicken strips sound incredible
11:48What are they?
11:49Lightly breaded?
11:50I'll bet they're lightly breaded, right?
11:51Yeah, I guess they are, yep
11:53What kind of dipping sauce are we talking about?
11:55Honey mustard
11:56Ah, that's so perfect
11:57Will you just get them already?
11:59I can't
12:00I'm dieting
12:01But if you get the wings
12:02I'll pick at them
12:03You're not gonna pick at them
12:05I'll come back from the bathroom
12:06There'll be chicken bones everywhere
12:07And you'll be huddled in the corner crying
12:11Ah
12:11That is so not true
12:13I-I've been very disciplined
12:15You know that I've lost weight
12:17And you haven't even told me how good I look
12:18What do you want me to say?
12:20Hey sis
12:21Great ass
12:23Really?
12:24Great how?
12:27I gotta get out of here by nine
12:28I wanna try to grab a few minutes with Carrie
12:30Before she starts to work on her paper
12:33How sad is that?
12:34I'm married to a person who does homework
12:36Are you about to go on another rant about this?
12:38Just warn me so I can fling myself into traffic
12:40Well I'm sorry
12:41But it's unnatural
12:42You know
12:42A grown woman in school
12:44It's
12:44It's like a 40 year old guy with braces
12:50What are you
12:50Don't look at me like that
12:51What?
12:52You wanna know what I think?
12:52No
12:53I think you're intimidated by it
12:54Okay what'd you get stuck on?
12:55The N or the O?
12:57It's mad
12:58It's true
12:59She wants to finish college
13:00And you are petrified
13:02That it means she'll leave you behind
13:03What?
13:04Okay first of all
13:05I'm a teamster
13:06I don't petrify
13:08Second of all
13:09That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard
13:11Fine
13:14And what if I was afraid of that huh?
13:16Now really
13:18Think about it
13:18She aces this class
13:20Right?
13:21Finishes college
13:22Then goes to law school
13:23Where does that leave us?
13:24We're having dinner
13:25She's telling me about the guy
13:26She saved in the electric chair
13:27And I'm like
13:27Oh yeah really?
13:28I just got a new beaded truck seat
13:31You know
13:33Instead of thinking about yourself
13:34For five minutes
13:35Why don't you start thinking about her?
13:36You know
13:37All she's trying to do
13:38Is accomplish something
13:39To feel better about her life
13:41Instead of bitching
13:42Maybe you could throw her
13:43A little support
13:44Hmm?
13:47You're fat
13:53What I'm saying is
13:55I think Plato's careful organization
13:57Of his dialogues
13:58Is only one
13:59Of a lot of devices
14:00He used to make his point
14:01You mean like
14:02Even the setting
14:03And then the names
14:03Of the characters
14:04Is a deliberate choice
14:05He made?
14:06Absolutely
14:06Matter of force
14:07Come on Karen
14:08You can only sit here
14:09With his dumb smile
14:10On your face
14:11For so long
14:13Say something
14:14Halfway intelligent here
14:16Problem is
14:17Plato took great care
14:18Not to leave any obvious tracks
14:19Of the plans
14:20Of his dialogues
14:20Right?
14:22Totally
14:24That's true
14:25I'm such an idiot
14:27Come on Karen
14:28You're letting
14:29Miss Perky breasts
14:30Here show you up
14:31Look at her
14:32With her perky breasts
14:34Think of something
14:35Smart to say
14:38Doug and Carrie
14:39Doug and Carrie
14:40Doug and Carrie
14:41Doug and Carrie
14:42Oh my god
14:42Not now
14:43Not the stamp song now
14:46Focus
14:46You must have
14:48One good thing
14:49To say about
14:50This Plato guy
14:51You've been reading
14:52About him for two weeks
14:53Of course
14:54That's with
14:55Working ten hours a day
14:56And trying to care
14:57For my dad
14:58And trying to keep
14:59A marriage intact
15:00I'll bet
15:01Perky breast
15:02Doesn't have to deal
15:02With any of that
15:04Or scraggle beard
15:05Hey
15:06Perky breast
15:08And scraggle beard
15:09Sounds like
15:10A new cop show
15:11Help
15:11Scraggle beard
15:12I'm hit
15:15What do you think
15:15Harry?
15:17Um
15:18I can't help
15:19But wonder
15:20You know
15:20Was Plato
15:22Really
15:22A student
15:23Of Socrates
15:24Or was he
15:24In many ways
15:25A student
15:26Of himself
15:27Hmm?
15:32Yeah
15:32We just
15:33Wanted to know
15:34If you were in the mood
15:34For Chinese
15:37Totally
15:38Totally
16:09Oh hi
16:09You're home
16:09You don't like
16:09You don't like me
16:10Being there
16:10It's making us argue
16:11So that's it
16:11I'm gone
16:13I was just gonna say
16:14That you should
16:14Stay in school
16:15And that I should
16:15Be more supportive
16:16I had a whole speech
16:17Plan that was gonna
16:18Lead to great
16:19Makeup sex
16:19You're ruining it
16:22God
16:22No no no
16:23You got it backwards
16:24You see
16:24I got caught up
16:25In this whole stupid
16:26School thing
16:26That I wasn't
16:27Being supportive
16:27Of you
16:28Like with that
16:29Great Doug and
16:30Carey song
16:30Which by the way
16:31Is growing on me
16:32Like nobody's business
16:34So you're doing
16:34This for me?
16:35Yes
16:36Turn up your miracle
16:37Ear corkey
16:37For you
16:39I don't want you
16:40To do it for me
16:40Well too bad
16:41I'm doing it for you
16:41Well then don't do it
16:42God I am doing it
16:43You have no say
16:44In the matter
16:44Why are you
16:45Fighting me on this?
16:46I can't read
16:51I mean
16:52I can read
16:52No I can do that
16:53It's just that
16:54I don't understand
16:54What the hell it is
16:55That I'm reading
16:56Why not?
16:57Doug I cannot
16:57Wrap my brain
16:58Around all of this
16:59You know
16:59It's like
17:00I'm supposed to
17:01Turn in a ten page
17:01Paper on the
17:02Allegory of the cave
17:03And I'm still
17:04Struggling with the
17:05Concept of two
17:05Darrens on Bewitched
17:08That's it
17:09I thought I was
17:10Smart enough
17:10But I'm not
17:11That's crazy
17:12Carrie you are smart
17:13Oh you're just
17:14Saying that
17:14Because you're
17:15Married to me
17:16Hey I wouldn't
17:16Have married you
17:17In the first place
17:17If you weren't
17:18So smart
17:20Really?
17:21Actually I probably
17:22Would have
17:22I was pretty horny
17:23Then
17:24Come on
17:25You can't quit now
17:26Yes I can
17:27No you can't
17:28Now come on
17:29We're going back
17:29To the library
17:30And we're going
17:30To stay there
17:31As long as it
17:31Takes for you
17:32To write the paper
17:33We both know
17:33You can write
17:34And if that
17:35Doesn't work
17:35Just buy one
17:36On the internet
17:40Just remember
17:41I am here for you
17:42Your job is to
17:43Work on the paper
17:43I take care of all else
17:45Food, waste, etc
17:47Okay but I'll take care
17:48Of my own waste though
17:51It's your call
17:53Oh man there's a woman
17:54On the microphone machine
17:55And it's the only one too
17:56Okay you see
17:57This is where having
17:58A manager pays off
17:59Now you just go
17:59Sharpen your pencil
18:00And I'll take care of her
18:14Mmm wow
18:15God bless America
18:17Tuna in a vending machine
18:21What's next
18:22Hovercrafts
18:25You still on this
18:26You gonna be on this long
18:27Yes I have
18:28Quite a bit of work
18:29To do
18:29Ah gotcha
18:32No problem
18:33I'll wait
18:36Mmm wow
18:37Dinosaurs
18:38Interesting stuff
18:39Tyrannosaurus rex
18:40Man
18:41Woo
18:42He's a big fella
18:43Bet you're here
18:43The nice size ding-a-ling
18:44Huh
18:50Too bad his arms
18:51Are too short
18:52To get a go at it
18:52Though
18:55I
19:01I
19:03I
19:03I
19:03I've got to go
19:04Okay
19:05You have a nice day then
19:06Okay
19:18All right
19:20Carrie
19:20Plato
19:21Come on
19:22You can't sleep now
19:23What are you doing
19:24Oh
19:24Where did you go
19:25I went home
19:26To get ready for work
19:27Did you finish the paper
19:28Uh well let me see
19:29Plato was a
19:31Oregon
19:32Friend
19:33Oh my god
19:34My head must have fallen
19:35On the keyboard
19:37Look slap a period on it
19:39And let's blow this clam bake
19:40Come on
19:40It's doing
19:41Oh my god
19:42Ten minutes
19:42What
19:43Doc
19:43I still have to print it out
19:44And it's all
19:45All the way on the other side of campus
19:47We'll never make it
19:48Yes we will
19:48No we won't
19:49Hey you listen to me missy
19:50I may not be good at much in this life
19:52But I am good at one thing
19:53Getting packages to where they're going
19:55On time
19:55Every time
19:56Overnight service available
19:57In the continental United States
19:59No Sunday delivery
19:59For more information
20:00Go to www.ips.net
20:04I had coffee
20:08Cingarella
20:09Dressed in yellow
20:10Went upstairs to kiss the bell
20:13Made a mistake
20:14Come on
20:23We're gonna make it aren't we
20:24Yeah
20:24We gotta hurry
20:30Oh my god
20:32Are you alright?
20:33It's fine
20:33Until the phone
20:34Landed on me
20:36Go
20:36Just go
20:39Oh boy
20:44Okay everyone
20:46Most of you know me as
20:48Beer drinking
20:48Dart playing
20:49Slightly mysterious Doug
20:52Tonight meet
20:53Thoughtful poet with a message Doug
20:56Whatever
20:56Ah
20:57Screw y'all
21:00This one I'm
21:01Dedicating to my
21:02My baby
21:03Who proved that
21:05Not only does she have
21:05The looks in this relationship
21:06But she's also got
21:07The brains
21:08By acing her college paper
21:09With a C minus
21:14No no no
21:15The wings are hers
21:16But uh
21:16She needs dipping sauce
21:23Alright can I bet this one
21:24Is for you
21:25It's called
21:26Love Will Keep Us Together
21:31Love
21:32Love
21:33Love will
21:34Keep us
21:48Take care
21:53Take care
21:54Take care
22:06Doug and Cary
22:07Doug and Cary
22:08Doug and Cary
22:09Doug and Cary
22:10Doug and Cary
22:11Doug and Cary
22:12Doug and Cary
22:13Doug and Cary
22:13Doug and Cary
22:14Doug and Cary
22:14Doug and Cary
22:15Doug and Cary
22:15Doug and Cary
22:16Doug and Cary
22:49.
23:19.
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