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The Last Leg S34E07 H 264 Episode 7 Engsub
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00:38Salute a magpie, secure your mirrors and knock on your wooden leg.
00:41It's Friday the 13th, we're live, and it's time for the last leg.
00:47Tonight on the show, America and Iran trade shots.
00:50We crack open a cold one at the Winter Paralympics,
00:53and our banknotes get a refreshing spritz.
00:56Plus, we'll be joined by comedians Richard Ayoade and Michelle Wolfe
01:00on the show that always laps up the news.
01:12G'day!
01:15Hi, I'm Adam Hill.
01:17Welcome to the last leg of the show that saw this photo released today
01:20of Andrew Epstein and Mandelson,
01:22and thought that's the hardest game of shag, marry, kill ever.
01:26As always, it's the pride of Dartmoor, Josh Whittacombe,
01:28and the man who thought the Strait of Hormuz
01:30was the Middle Eastern equivalent of Queer Eye, Alex Brooker!
01:39Loads to get through tonight, loads to get through,
01:41but before we do, every now and then...
01:43OK, so something happens before the show,
01:44and it happened tonight, and it always happens.
01:46As when Josh and Alex come out here,
01:48I introduce them to the audience,
01:49and we always do a little bit of a fist bump.
01:51Yeah, or shake hands or whatever.
01:52And last week we did, Josh and I did the...
01:55Cos we're cool middle-class, middle-aged men, aren't we?
01:58And then we got to Alex and did the fist bump,
02:01and went, I did...
02:02And I went, oh, you can't do it.
02:04No, no, no, I don't.
02:06I mean, mainly cos, like, I am 41.
02:10Not a jock in High School Musical,
02:12but, no, I can't believe...
02:15You've been doing that to me for so long.
02:17Yeah.
02:18For so long you've been doing it,
02:19and you've only just noticed...
02:21Like, you've only just noticed
02:22you're the only one that climaxes.
02:24You're such an unattentive...
02:26But, no, I don't know.
02:27I do kind of...
02:28I kind of...
02:29I pay...
02:30I do a little bit...
02:31It's not really an explosion, is it?
02:32It's more just a little sprinkle of, like, napalm,
02:37which is also what my Scottish mates call me, but...
02:40I mean, it all...
02:41To be honest, I mean, yeah.
02:44I felt really bad about this.
02:45I felt really bad about this.
02:46But, look, you did feel bad,
02:48and I felt bad that you felt bad,
02:50because on the plus side,
02:51like, if you did it to Josh...
02:52Yeah.
02:52And went, and then you came up to me
02:54and went, eww.
02:57Fuck that.
02:58Imagine if I did that to Josh,
02:59I went, and then I looked at you
03:01and went, oh, the explosions already happened.
03:05So, I felt...
03:06So, I've had something made up for you.
03:08It's a little present here.
03:10I've had a fist made up
03:12that when you give me a fist bump,
03:14a little explosion will happen.
03:16So, can you...
03:17All right, you ready?
03:18Okay.
03:19I hope this is going to work.
03:20Ready?
03:20One, two, three.
03:21Whoa!
03:23Hey!
03:24We've made it up for an explosion.
03:30It doesn't stop.
03:31Oh, jeez.
03:31You look like you've wanked off a troll now.
03:35But am I allowed to keep this?
03:37Yeah.
03:37I'm going to have a good night after this show.
03:44All right.
03:46Look, we are live,
03:47as Penny Mordaunt found out last week.
03:52So, you can send any questions
03:53you want to ask us about the news.
03:55Instagram, the hashtags, is it okay?
03:57WhatsApp, the number's 07956175908.
04:00You can scan the QR code on your screen.
04:02For example,
04:03is it okay that the Bank of England
04:04is going to replace historical figures
04:06with images of UK wildlife
04:08on its next series of banknotes,
04:10and it's going to let the public
04:12choose which animals?
04:14No!
04:15Because if I know the British public,
04:17those animals will be
04:18Peppa Pig,
04:19Gromit,
04:19and a fox eating a nappy out of a bin.
04:22Before you know it,
04:23all paper money will be called
04:24Notey McNoteface.
04:26So, they've gone for animals.
04:28Yeah.
04:29That's what they're going to put up.
04:30Is it basically because they're worried now
04:32with people,
04:32you don't know who's going to get cancelled
04:34anymore in the future,
04:35so they think they're safe
04:37going with animals,
04:38but you wait until they find out
04:40that there's a squirrel named
04:41in the Epstein files.
04:46Nigel Farage spoke out
04:47about that this week,
04:47and a lot of people have
04:48blaming wokery or PC gone mad,
04:50but the truth is
04:51there was a public consultation.
04:5360% of people chose wildlife,
04:55and Nigel Farage should know
04:56you have to respect
04:57the will of the people.
04:59Lib Dem leader Ed Davey
05:00was also up in arms,
05:01although his message
05:02seemed more accidentally comedic.
05:05Winston Churchill helped save
05:07our country
05:08and the whole of Europe
05:09from fascism.
05:11He deserves better
05:12than being replaced
05:13by a badger.
05:20The next bit is
05:22replace him with two badgers.
05:24In a long coat,
05:26like they're going to the cinema.
05:28Look, it's not like
05:29Winston Churchill's being erased
05:30from history.
05:31He's still remembered
05:32by the war rooms,
05:33the statue in Parliament Square,
05:34the dog in the adverts.
05:38Look, we thought
05:39we'd do something
05:39different tonight.
05:40We've got a comedian
05:41and illustrator
05:42of the best-selling
05:42Adam Kay books,
05:43Henry Packer here,
05:44and he's going to draw
05:46a banknote
05:47throughout the show tonight.
05:49Henry, thank you so much
05:50for being here.
05:50Absolute pleasure.
05:52Can we start, though,
05:53with my suggestion,
05:54a quick illustration
05:55of a fox eating a nappy
05:57out of a bin?
05:58OK.
05:58A fox eating a nappy
06:00out of a bin.
06:00OK.
06:01Let's do it.
06:03So, start with the nose.
06:05This is a classic
06:06UK fox.
06:07Yep.
06:09OK, so that's the gob.
06:11This has changed
06:12into a very different show,
06:13hasn't it?
06:14The triangular ears,
06:16the key feature.
06:17Well, that is a good fox,
06:18isn't it?
06:19The nappy.
06:20Yep.
06:20So it's out of a bin.
06:21Right, so as an illustrator,
06:23we tend to go for
06:24the old school bins.
06:25It's the...
06:28Oh, lovely.
06:29Yeah.
06:32Soil's nappy?
06:34Yeah, of course.
06:36Who throws out
06:37a clean nappy?
06:39Fair dues.
06:40Level of soiling?
06:41Oh, no.
06:46Oh, Brooker on a Saturday morning.
06:48Brooker on a Saturday night.
06:49OK.
06:50OK, so that's a really,
06:51really deeply heavy soil.
06:53Yeah, perfect.
06:53Lovely.
06:54There's some dripping
06:54going down the side of the bin.
06:55OK.
06:56Right, so the fox.
06:58OK, oh, yes.
06:58For the fox,
07:00do you want it on a stepladder
07:02to be able to reach the...
07:05or high heels?
07:06That's the choice.
07:07Or can it be both?
07:09I've never done that before,
07:10but let's try it, yeah.
07:11So the front legs
07:13are on a stepladder.
07:14Yeah.
07:14Imagine people just tuning in
07:16thinking,
07:16Alex Brooker's got better,
07:17ain't he?
07:20OK, we've got the classic tail,
07:22obviously.
07:23Yeah, lovely.
07:23And the rear legs
07:24in a nice pair of...
07:29This is quite sexy.
07:31Oh, lovely, yep.
07:32Sexy high heels.
07:35And just as an illustrator,
07:36I'm legally bound,
07:37if I draw a bin,
07:38to draw a fish skeleton
07:41sticking out of it
07:42and a banana skin
07:43in the foreground.
07:45Also, here's just some
07:46shit UK weather.
07:50And, yeah.
07:52There you go.
07:53That's...
07:53I mean, for me,
07:53that's the fiver.
07:54Thank you, isn't it?
08:02Throughout the show,
08:02Henry's going to be creating
08:03a pound note
08:05based on whatever
08:06we talk about in the show,
08:07basically.
08:08Whatever comes up,
08:09it's going to go on the note.
08:10Thank you, Henry.
08:11All right, let's get
08:12into the big story now.
08:13Joe said,
08:13is it OK that the chaotic war
08:15has continued between
08:16US, Israel and Iran?
08:17Good luck, Henry.
08:22This week,
08:23America and Israel
08:24continued to attack
08:25Iran and Lebanon.
08:26Meanwhile,
08:26Iran fired missiles
08:27at everything inside.
08:29It kind of feels like
08:29Iran right now
08:31is basically
08:31the kid at school
08:32in a fight
08:33who just does this
08:34to try and take
08:35everyone out.
08:36It's really hard to do
08:37without hitting the desk.
08:38Iran are hoping
08:39they can cause
08:40enough disruption
08:40to the world's
08:41energy supplies
08:42that they can stop
08:42America and Israel
08:44from attacking them.
08:45Now, they can do this
08:46because 20%
08:47of the world's
08:48oil and gas supplies
08:49pass through something
08:49called the Strait of Hormuz,
08:51which is right below Iran.
08:53Supposed to...
08:53Oh, sorry, Josh.
08:54Isn't that just
08:55the start of EastEnders?
09:00You know what's interesting?
09:01As the bombs fell
09:02last week,
09:02they went...
09:05Oh, yes!
09:11So what I found out
09:12this week is basically
09:13for the ships,
09:14the ships that are
09:15getting through,
09:16basically the way
09:17they're getting through
09:17to avoid being hit
09:18by Iranian missiles,
09:20what they're saying is
09:20that they're saying
09:21they're from China.
09:23Right.
09:23So basically,
09:24it's all right for them
09:24to pretend to be Chinese,
09:26but Josh,
09:26you did it once
09:27when we went out
09:27for that meal
09:28and we got...
09:28No, yeah, yeah.
09:29Don't draw that!
09:34It's kind of mad
09:35to go to war
09:35with someone
09:36who controls
09:36something you need
09:37to survive.
09:38That's like starting
09:38an argument
09:39with the anaesthetist
09:40right before an operation.
09:41I still regret it.
09:44And they went in
09:45for an ingrantona.
09:47Well, to be fair,
09:48you haven't got one now.
09:54Petrol prices in America
09:55have jumped 20%
09:56since the start
09:57of the war.
09:58Donald Trump
09:59is clearly spooked.
10:00Watch this enlightening clip.
10:01The president
10:01subtly deflecting the blame
10:03for attacking Iran
10:04while throwing his mates
10:05under a bus
10:06that's now 20%
10:07more expensive
10:07to refuel.
10:09in my opinion,
10:11based on what
10:12Steve and Jared
10:13and Pete
10:15and others
10:15were telling me,
10:16Marco,
10:16so involved,
10:17that I thought
10:18that they were
10:19going to attack us.
10:23It sounds like
10:24so playground,
10:25doesn't it?
10:25Like he started
10:26a war based on gossip.
10:28It's like,
10:28yes,
10:28Jared's gone up to him
10:29and gone,
10:29by the way,
10:30Donald,
10:31the Isle of Toilet
10:31reckons he can have you.
10:33Also,
10:34he says you drive a girl's bike.
10:37Yeah,
10:37I mean,
10:37World War I
10:38may have started
10:38with the assassination
10:39of Archduke Franz Ferdinand.
10:40World War III
10:41might start
10:41because of
10:42Jared,
10:43Steve and Pete.
10:45They sound like
10:46three guys
10:46in your chat group
10:47whose videos
10:47you don't want
10:48to open at work.
10:49Or they're
10:50the three presenters
10:51of the Australian
10:52Last League.
10:53And you're still
10:54bitter about them
10:54getting the job,
10:55aren't you?
10:56When I heard this clip,
10:58I heard something
10:58different to everyone else.
10:59I think he's
11:00blaming the war
11:01on former Liverpool
11:03captain Stephen Gerrard.
11:05They've watched
11:05again.
11:06I've watched
11:07it quite a lot today.
11:08Yep.
11:09My opinion,
11:10based on what
11:11Steve and Jared
11:18I'm just saying it.
11:20Do you know what?
11:20Jamie Carragher
11:21was in his ear.
11:24Stefan Honsho
11:25was giving him
11:26all that.
11:28The war of memes
11:29continued this week.
11:30The White House
11:30released this
11:31truly tasteless video
11:32that made the war
11:34look like a game
11:35on Nintendo Wii.
11:50Pauling what?
12:03I mean,
12:05it's appalling,
12:06right?
12:06And it's not accurate because if it was he would have let go of the bowling ball and hit the
12:10school next door
12:12Iran have hit back actually with one that's depicted Mario Kart, but obviously Princess Peach isn't allowed to drive
12:19Iran did actually hit back with their own homemade Lego video. This is I'm not making this up
12:24This is what they put out. This explains why they think Donald Trump started the war
12:41They are totally winning
12:44The UK are also planning a video of their own, but it's going to take four years for Aardman Studios
12:48to make it out of clay
12:51But it's gonna be the best one. Oh my can't wait for Wallace and Gromit the wrong targets
12:59So everyone's asking what's the end game for Donald Trump?
13:02What are they hoping to achieve out of all of this? This is a thing though not any time in
13:06history when when you go into the Middle East
13:08Like when there's war and these walls are not over quickly. Yeah, no one ever goes into the Middle East
13:13for a quick one
13:14It's like a beer garden
13:16Like Middle East it's like a beer garden, you know, you go in there you say you're everyone it escalates
13:21Always escalates and before you know it someone's like shots
13:25Jager bombs
13:29Was there in a third? No
13:33I'll be honest with you. It was a little bit sunny earlier, and I was just thinking about beer garden
13:39Before you know it the Strait of Hormuz is backed up
13:42The US military
13:44The US military been using an AI model known as Claude to speed up the process of choosing targets
13:51So what does it talk to them like when I talk to chat GPT?
13:55I'm assuming yeah, you think you're bombing bombing the Middle East that sounds like an excellent idea
13:59You think it sounds so it's so people the madness is a US using it. Yeah using AI to choose
14:06military targets
14:07Yes at the same time as people are using AI to choose a present for Mother's Day
14:12Yeah, imagine if they got confused and they just started bath bombing Iran
14:19Why is the Strait of Hormuz covered in glitter and petals?
14:23How long were you in that beer garden?
14:26The image of someone going Alexa take out the Ayatollah and it's like did you say kill the Dalai Lama
14:31no Alexa?
14:32No, no
14:33Sorry to everyone at home whose Alexa has just gone off and the Dalai Lama
14:38On Sunday Iran announced they had chosen a new supreme leader Mojtaba Kemeni
14:42Who will be taking over from his late father although there are now reports?
14:45He may have been injured in the attack that killed his father might even be in a coma
14:49So we're hoping he doesn't wake up and say hello. My name is Mojtaba Kemeni. You killed my father prepare
14:55to die
14:56He released a statement this week which prompted the Telegraph to run with the headline Mojtaba Kemeni has called for
15:01Iranian unity
15:01But he may not be alive
15:04This whole war might come down to whether we run out of oil before they run out of Ayatollahs
15:08Who do you reckon's next they're gonna get through them. I've got an idea. Mm-hmm. There's someone who's looking
15:14for a new royal title
15:19It doesn't mind hot places because he doesn't sweat
15:24He has to keep moving exactly, you know his nickname the Ayatollah of Partiola
15:31By the way, it was also revealed this week the new Ayatollah owns various properties across London
15:35They're currently available to rent on surface to Airbnb and from Ayatollah to loves a dollar
15:41Donald Trump has been handing out his favorite brand of affordable dress shoes to his aides and officials and a
15:47lot of them are apparently
15:48Reportedly afraid not to wear them in front of him. Look there. They are putting the bro into brogues
15:55Has anyone wondered whether this might be like Cinderella and Trump has actually danced with a beautiful senator apart in?
16:02He's just trying to find out
16:03Who wore the shoe and in fairness he's already turning into a pumpkin?
16:09I'm looking forward to when he starts handing out his bronzer
16:15And then goes can I recommend a barber guys?
16:18Meanwhile the defense attache to the UAE has made the media this week mainly because of his name
16:22This is a lovely image of the sandy-haired military leader known as Captain Sandy Sandylands
16:29Which sounds like he's been named by the British public?
16:33The thing with Sandy Sandylands is once you have a bit of him somewhere you just can't get rid of
16:37him, can you?
16:38Well, we loved the idea of Sandy Sandylands
16:40And it turns out he's a slight fan of the last leg because we've been in contact and he's on
16:46a zoom chat with us now
16:47So hello, is he frozen?
16:52Yes, he has frozen. That's not him, but he has frozen. Oh, has he?
16:56Sandy Sandylands, are you there?
17:00No, this does not auger well for our military technology
17:05He might have another call coming in in fairness to him
17:08You know when uh, you know when we said Aardman would be looking after the British technology
17:12It does feel we're going at a slower pace than that
17:15I'm not going to say I'm worried right now
17:17But we're trying to connect with a British military officer in the Middle East and I just heard in my
17:21ear. He's completely gone
17:23I think he's fine. I think just to be very clear. This isn't a sketch
17:27We genuinely were trying to get in contact. It now feels like we're playing a prank
17:32Yeah, it turns out he's downloading a movie at the same time as he's trying to talk to
17:36Let's move on and welcome tonight's guests one of them tries not to laugh the other one will make a
17:39howl
17:40Please welcome Richard Ayoade and Michelle Wolfe
17:49Hello, hello, hi, welcome
17:55Welcome, welcome sir, welcome to you both
17:59Um all right, Michelle, I'm going to throw it at you. You're American
18:02What do you make of all this that's gone on in the in the Middle East and Iran and everything
18:05and Donald Trump?
18:05Uh, well, I just uh everyone says that Trump has uh dementia and I just I was wondering if he
18:11could get more of it
18:13Not enough dementia happening. Does not I don't think he has enough. He's he he seems to really remember who
18:19he's angry with
18:20Yeah, and uh now we're at war with Iran which could last a very long time
18:25I mean these wars are never quick. This war could go on for so many years that Trump wouldn't want
18:30to have sex with it anymore
18:36And now now we're you know, we're supposed to trust our leaders and you can't trust Trump with
18:43Anything you can't trust him with ordering an appetizer or picking the music or
18:49What fruit is ripe you can't
18:52Hey, does that taste good? Hey, does this look good? You couldn't trust him with real estate or
18:58Spray tan or makeup coverage and now he's sitting next to the nuclear codes
19:04And I think the only thing more alarming is if you went to your secondary school and Andrew was there
19:10And the whole world's being affected obviously petrol people are stocking up on petrol richard
19:15Are you stockpiling anything? I mean, I'd be looking to uh stockpile cravats
19:22Because you know I I want to remain sport. It's very it's hard enough to get a good dry cleaner
19:27and peacetime
19:29So and these things they're delicate they're very delicate so they can hand wash them, but they'll fade
19:36You know I need to maintain standards. Someone's got to look like a Columbo villain
19:42After the apocalypse have you ever worn anything
19:46Purely because someone gave it to you. This has been taken from a military dictator
19:51And hopefully i'll be able to travel there immediately after this joke works itself out
20:00Now we didn't get to talk to sandy sandalyn
20:03Is he here?
20:04No, no, no, but you've come up you've come up with the game based on his name
20:07Yeah, in honor of in honor of sandy
20:09So we were we were inspired by sandy sandalyn so we came up with our own name our own game
20:14Which is about nominative determinisms, so we're of course calling it that job's my name
20:20That's my name
20:21That's my name
20:23That's my name
20:25That's my name
20:35Okay, the gameplay is simple we're going to show you a job and a name and these are real or
20:41fake people
20:42You have to tell us whether this person really does the job to lock the answers in we've given you
20:47very simple props
20:49If you think it's true put on the trilby of truth brooke will show you that
20:53Yep, there you go. You basically just hang on a second. Just put it on like that really. Yeah, and
20:58if you think it's false put on the fedora of false
21:00Sorry, I love that you went I might need to explain how to wear a hat
21:05Put that on he'll see put that on he'll see okay
21:07There you go. There's a fedora and whoever door of false leg. Oh look at that look at that
21:13There you go. How's that? Blimey that's the most australian man i've ever seen in my life
21:18Now there is a mystery prize for the winner okay? Here's the mystery prize. Here it is there it is
21:24Let's unveil it's not much of a mystery it's a box
21:29Let's unveil the first name brooker read out is there a urologist called dr dick chop
21:39I've seen this urologist
21:42I can tell you the answer is it's true
21:51Like that hat look better on me than I thought it
21:54Is the president of the royal horticulture society called tim flowers?
22:03I
22:03Mean
22:05They're taking it more seriously than i thought alex i've got to say a lot of these are guesses yeah
22:10Also i feel like there's a guy named tim flowers that would love to work with flowers but he doesn't
22:16wow
22:17I can tell you the answer is this is false
22:20Again but he is called keith weed
22:25That's also a urologist
22:31I like the way you made the joke and then flip the hand
22:37I can't demonstrate that right then is there a man who runs a temp agency called steve jobs
22:45I thought he was dead
22:49True
22:52It's false
22:54But i can tell you i don't know if you know this uh
22:56He did used to run a company called apple
22:58Come on
22:59You've heard of it
23:00Well a final one
23:01One steve jobs
23:02Is there
23:04Another urologist called dr burns cox there it is
23:08Okay
23:09Wow
23:09I want this to be true about how i feel about men a lot of times
23:14But i think it's false
23:16Oh it's to decide i put on the wrong hat
23:18I mean i put on the wrong hat
23:18Well how can we
23:19Wait i think we
23:20For the game play do you want to choose a different hat
23:23They're not both of you then you
23:29Well i can tell you the answer is
23:31I'll go with the
23:32True
23:33Correct
23:33You are your winner
23:34And you win your prize
23:37Which is a special pair of donald trump shoes
23:41Don't worry michelle you are not the only winner because
23:44Everyone gets a shoe here we go
23:46Go on josh you get a shoe you get a shoe please don't throw at the lady in a wheelchair
23:51josh
23:52Please don't throw wheelchairs at the same
23:53The shoes at the same people keep going here we go you get a shoe
23:57We'll have more last week for you after the break as we check out the action of the winter paralympics
24:01And we finally get to talk to sandy sanderson who i believe the sandy sandalins who i believe is back
24:06on the line
24:06We'll see you in a little bit
24:21Welcome back to last leg we're joined by michelle wolf and richard ioharty
24:25Uh we have got in contact with uh sandy sandy lunds
24:29Uh in the uae a defense attache to the uae come in sandy sandy lund yes
24:34Thank you for joining us what has your fame been like this week
24:42It's been bonkers mate honestly
24:44The uh the reaction to the to the x feed that the embassy put out has just been um been
24:49crazy seven seven million views
24:51You know i just hope that half of those actually listened to the message but most of them were uh
24:56um were interested in the name and uh and the location so yeah i i am the sandy in the
25:01sandy desert in uh in the uae
25:03and sandy is a nickname because uh it's normal in the army to give people nicknames are there other famous
25:09nicknames around you
25:11i think i think the one that stands out for me is a guy called jock stirrup so jock strap
25:15who was the
25:16most senior the most senior guy in the military and what i quite admire about him is a lot of
25:20guys when they get senior they start you know steve becomes steven and all that but this guy went
25:24right to the very top of the military in there and stuck with jock straps so i like that
25:28uh and listen how do you think alex brooker would go in the military
25:32oh that's interesting isn't it i was watching last week and uh and i saw his kind of shower chair
25:37so we
25:37have a unit called the mobile bath and shower unit or we used to have in the pioneer corps so
25:42maybe he could bring his bachelor on to that but actually thinking about it if he's going to serve
25:46in the military then you've got to kind of go through go through it all and not bottle it
25:49and as an arsenal fan i'm not convinced he can do that
25:55sorry sandy we're losing you sorry mate um
26:00got my internet again hasn't it yeah so all my mates call me handy handelands anyway
26:14uh moving on jemma said is it okay that peter mandelson still has his lordship
26:18uh so documents were released this week that led to questions about due diligence shown by the
26:23prime minister when he appointed peter mandelson as ambassador to the u.s despite mandelson's
26:27friendship with jeffrey epstein turns out the vetting process had all the rigor of bbc's
26:31player when it says do you have a tv license i've got away with that one before uh what would
26:39have
26:39stopped him getting the job being friends with two pedos sorry it says specifically criteria friends
26:46with one pedo or less sorry i kissed armor apologize for the appointment but if his vetting process could
26:51be represented by video it would be this famous one of a tottenham security guard
26:56any links to epstein no go through any links to epstein no go through any links to epstein no go
27:04through any links to epstein yeah yeah you're right i absolutely loved your impression there
27:12but alex you said something on the show a couple of weeks ago that i think might be true because
27:16whoa whoa whoa whoa how dare you accuse him of truth could he have appointed the trilby of truth
27:25on brooker he's possibly appointed mandelson to keep trump on side because basically epstein jeffrey
27:31epstein said supposedly quote donald trump doesn't have a decent cell in his body which would suggest
27:36epstein knew some shit about trump and if peter mandelson was friends with epstein then he probably
27:41knew some shit about trump too so maybe like you said send a wrong and to deal with a wrong
27:45and
27:46and honestly in a couple of weeks you're going to be comparing the war in the middle east again in
27:50the beer garden mandelson apparently asked for just 500 000 pounds when he eventually was sacked
27:57but settled for 75 000 which makes him the worst negotiator ever i just want to get out one tiny
28:03pun
28:03yeah because we had sandy lance yeah is that uh he instead of mandelson he should be kidding kiddelson
28:11it's not a good pun the whole time i always thought mandelson kiddelson right and i've been thinking
28:21about it the whole time you were talking i had to get it out of my body i'm sorry many
28:28people around
28:29mandelson have said similar things that's the whole point you set up richard and he can dunk
28:37all right let's also no sorry
28:43i love the way you're also both mirroring body language you green trousers together and we're trying
28:49to out defensive one another how sandy were his curtains by the way he was hammy it up he basically
28:57came with
28:58the club act yeah the title three minutes i've ever seen from the military i mean i've never seen
29:04camouflage looks work so well yeah yeah i mean he was basically the curtain we actually had him on
29:11before we just couldn't see it let's jump into the winter paralympics now steve said is it okay that
29:17after two fourth places neil simpson and his guide rob poth uh bring home silver yes it bloody is for
29:23gb
29:23here's the medal moment come on neil simpson one last drive into the finish he goes into the lead but
29:31by how much 4.96 seconds oh that was fabulous 42.52 on that slalom run
29:47explain it's worth explaining what's happening there yeah so like he's being guided that so the
29:52guy in the front is his guide so the guy's visually impaired neil simpson's visually impaired
29:56he's being guided basically by the guy with a blue tooth headset on in front of him he's basically
30:00probably going like left a bit right i mean i don't know the exact terminology yeah yeah i didn't know
30:04you're an expert bro what did he say if they want to go to the other side like right a
30:09bit oh
30:10bloody hell but that is like the ultimate trust like i i couldn't trust any of my mates
30:17that just began left only about it's a tree also you need to trust your bluetooth you don't want
30:24that to drop out halfway down it gets at the bottom halfway down the hill and you just hear
30:28blue blue best impression of spotify i've ever heard uh shout out to nina sparks by the way the
30:38first british female para snowboarder um and also davy jive the first snow sport winter paralympian
30:44with motor neurone disease uh davy said was i fastest down the course today absolutely not
30:49but my race and battle is with mnd and today i'm winning that race well done davy
31:01uh gb in australia currently have one silver medal each but australia also have a bronze
31:05uh meanwhile the italian para ice hockey team released this brilliant clip of their training regime
31:33it's so interesting that in italy that's training but in britain that's a pip test
31:40uh jimmy's curlers didn't make it to the medal podium but they did provide us with some of the
31:44best self-commentary of the games
31:47right out there like mine's good walking's got the weight though joe how do you feel
31:53i love the dynamic between these two feels like i throw it like a bag of milk
32:01we've got those two on the line now so please welcome jason keen and joe butterfield
32:12no we don't no again oh sandy sandalands is going to pop back out i have done this show via
32:17skype as well
32:20away from peckham it's an hour to be fair to these guys they are at the winter paralympics so it's
32:24not
32:24surprising they're frozen we've got them we've got them jason and joe hello
32:33uh alex you want to jump straight in with a question yeah jason i just got like main question
32:38is like what do you mean by like how many bags of milk have you thrown in your life i've
32:43never heard
32:44that phrase wait a minute i'll just explain it's not the it's not the curling stone that's a bag of
32:49milk it's actually jason it is me i am the bag of milk because as you can see from many
32:55of the videos i am
32:56a rather large portion so with my break being high so i'm i'm paralyzed from the armpits down
33:03so whenever i don't throw it well then it comes out almost like a bag of milk so me coach
33:11he like
33:11named it that he was like keep a hold of your stabilizer properly throw it strong me season stop
33:16throwing it like a bag of milk so when i let that stone go i was like threw it like
33:21a bag of milk turned
33:23out it was a pretty good stone to be honest uh and joe of course you were in rio as
33:28well you won gold
33:29in rio in the summer paralympics how does this one compare well not quite as good as that since we
33:34didn't get gold but you know um it's a bit different the winter games is probably a bit more
33:40of a family it's kind of a smaller group of people and they've got a bit of a more of
33:43a bit of a culture
33:44going on um but other than that it's pretty similar and jason as your first paralympic games how are you
33:49finding it it would have been a hell of a lot better to get a bit of a bit of
33:54metal around
33:54the neck like that was the plan um but as an experience it's absolutely mental and like coming
34:02in like oh wait man look at this do i look like an athlete next thing you know come on
34:07you're going
34:07off to the paralympics you've managed to make the grade somehow it's been unbelievable like in there
34:12seems a shame that's coming to an end and it's a shame that it came to an end a bit
34:16early for as well
34:17and are you aiming for four years time now hopefully yeah that's the plan like it's it's
34:23pretty special in the paralympic games we don't normally get to compete in front of a crowd and
34:27the noise in the arena in at the curling stadium there was insane the italians have done a good job
34:32so to come back four years time critical excellent well get out there get training and maybe next
34:37time you'll throw out like a semi-skimmed bag of milk just like a bottle of milk will do because
34:43it
34:43starts solid round of applause for you guys enjoy the rest of your time there
34:52we'll have more last leg for you after the break as we unveil this week's mystery guest we'll see
35:07in a little bit welcome back to last leg we're joined by michelle wolf and richard aiwati uh michelle
35:14of course you're off on tour this summer yes the name of the tour best job in the world best
35:18job in
35:19the world oh my god i had so much hair oh that was before i had a baby i had
35:24so much hair look at
35:26this i look like a little boy get peter mandelson away from me
35:34and this just occurred to me you didn't end up being a wolf yes so in terms of nominative determinism
35:40no no i mean how disappointing is that yeah i could have been a wolf and i'm a little boy
35:46instead
35:47it's good for peter mandelson but well but if you were together with peter mandelson you'd be peter and
35:52the wolf so oh thank you uh in that might be my favorite joke that's everyone was so impressed they
36:01didn't laugh yeah get your own act a surgeon in london has performed the uk's first long distance
36:10robotic operation on a patient who was 1500 miles away in gibraltar uh here are some graphic graphic
36:16footage of the operation a historic moment 2400 kilometers away unbelievable we used a robot
36:28and a very specialized connection between london to gibraltar didn't fail at all the time delay
36:37between the two sides 60 milliseconds we need to get him on this wi-fi
36:47throw out your zoom so you are bet you he's great on them grabber machines in the arcade
36:53in it just got a house full of the boo-boos it's impressive but if you are the patient and
36:59they go
37:00we're going to try a historic thing on you i'd go no i want my operation to be done and
37:06i yeah you can
37:08do it i don't want you to do it though the patient described it as a no-brainer which is
37:12ironic because
37:13it was a prostate removal that's not a joke oh yeah they have they're doing robotic prostate removals i just
37:21want them to do one thing for women's health just one thing like a better tampon or to act like
37:29endometriosis
37:33like diagnose women correctly tell them don't be like you're just whiny no it's a real there's fibroids
37:41filling my body we can't get the robots to do that
37:47it is appropriate that it was a prostate removal because um gibraltar is very much the prostate of
37:52spain um well no by that i mean it's it's hidden away at the bottom no one knows why it's
37:56there but
37:57it's a lot of fun to visit on holiday uh in ai news a woman from florida asked her chat
38:06gpt this
38:06week to suggest a place to live based on amenities that she put in that she was looking for she's
38:11now
38:11planning to move to torquay in devon yes because that's where it told her to go rightly so ai has
38:18finally reached peak intelligence i love this this florida woman is going to go there and she's
38:24going to she's going to see the sea there which is going to be very different from florida and she's
38:30going to be like is this where world war ii happened this looks like the movies am i in dunkirk
38:37look you might think florida is different to torquay but mar-a-lago is a lot like the hotel in
38:42faulty towers they're both owned by shouty dictatorial men who have zero people skills and don't get on with
38:47their wives although mar-a-lago has slightly more mentions of the war uh all right it's time to
38:51bring on this week's mystery guest michelle and richard have to work out how they're connected to
38:54the news can we have the mystery guest please
39:08so this is glenn glenn was in the news this week because he's going for his 18th world championship
39:14but what is it in can we have the dramatic lighting change please
39:21is it in being the quickest person to eat 80 grams of watercress being the man with the mintiest breath
39:29or being the person who can fit the most basil in their ears and nose
39:35um have a think have a look at him have a discuss we will reveal the mystery guest after the
39:41break
39:41we'll also win the show by going head to head team with him in a challenge we'll see you in
39:46a little
39:59welcome back to last leg we're joined by michelle wolf and richard aiwati now before the break we
40:03challenged our guest to work out how this person was connected to the news can we have the options
40:07again please so glenn has been in the news because he's going for his 18th world championship but is it
40:14in being the quickest person to eat 80 grams of watercress is it being the man with the mintiest breath
40:20or is it c being the person who can fit the most basil in their ears and nose the floor
40:27is yours oh i like that
40:30yes well 80 grams feels a very specific amount that with all due respect to the team i don't think
40:40they would have thought up
40:45and when when you say the team i need to point out it's josh and alex that come up with
40:49this yeah
40:51that's who i meant by the team
40:55so how very dare you i very dare and all of these are excellent album titles but
41:02yeah i would say um 80 grams is very specific i it's just he doesn't look like he eats a
41:10lot of lettuce
41:1480 grams isn't a huge amount okay i need an answer well you say you need an answer
41:19i think we need to discuss it for another 10 minutes
41:24we can i'm most concerned about the belly button on the t-shirt
41:27okay yeah okay we need an answer let me put it another way oh
41:32and now we've seen his all the class final answer all final answer uh it was chris
41:38okay i haven't even run that by yes yes yes glenn what is the truth i am 17 times watercressing
41:47champion
41:57where's your other 17 trophies so you've won and i'll give it back every year how did you get into
42:03it
42:04oh it's back in 2002 auxford where i come from uh started a festival up to celebrate the spring
42:10where they get the first crop of watercress rugby boys do all the parking and helping out
42:16we decided after a while we got a bit bored in the afternoon after playing cock and ball and then
42:22uh that's not a world championship you want to win
42:29anyway we just saw we've got all this green stuff what we're going to do with it i said we've
42:32had a
42:32few beers let's try and eat as much as we can so you can eat the most of it didn't
42:37end up well
42:38that's it puking up the thing is next day as well after a few more beers
42:45honestly um let's put it this way i wasn't constipated in fact i had a ring piece like a
42:49dragon's nostril oh okay um what does it what does it take to be a good a good cress eater
42:55is that
42:56cressa yeah what do you need what do you what do you need to be a good well because it's
42:59peppery and
43:00horrible in the sense like that um i think having a big big hands and a big bob get it
43:08down there
43:09quick and get rid of it and that's why i have the old guinness afterwards just get rid of it
43:12oh how many other people are you competing against
43:17this is worldwide you know we'll tell you what we're going to end the show by competing against
43:21we do we do heats okay we're going to have a conversation at the end of the show glenn thank
43:25you so much for being here we'll see you in a minute because we're going to have a conversation
43:33uh let's check in with henry packer who uh has been designing a pound note a 10 pound note i
43:39believe
43:40uh throughout the show based on what's gone on in the show yes indeed yes so yeah this is um
43:44sort of
43:45oh wow actually would you two mind holding this thank you so yeah can you talk you through it okay
43:50yeah so um yeah quite a lot going on we've got um donald trump here um using a wee controller
43:55to
43:56control the war yep now he's on a sofa at home by himself i've depicted him with with quite weak
44:00legs
44:00um which is satire um but of course it's actually more even more sinister than it looks because uh
44:10donald trump himself is being puppeted by stephen gerrard
44:16um i've got here we've got sandy sandylands part one that's sandy sandals that's him um camouflaged
44:22against him um here we've got uh we've got hilsey as a as a as a kangaroo um with in
44:29your pouch you've
44:30got um got brooker and josh there and your feet feeding alex with uh with milk um and just sort
44:38of
44:38ruffling josh's hand it's quite a sweet and slightly sinister image at the same time yeah um then we've got
44:43sandy sandals part two this is more realistic take uh just i was fascinated by how low down his camera
44:49was
44:53um and uh yes and then on the nominative determinism theme um i've tried it for
44:57everyone for the whole cast tonight so we've got alex brooker here who's in a brook
45:04which is quite clever um we've got uh uh yeah we've got hills here as a hill yeah there you
45:11go
45:11with one leg which is actually more than the average hill so you're doing really well there we've got
45:14what uh michelle wolf they're sort of sort of hermit henry i'm afraid we have to wrap it up go
45:20through really quickly and we've got rich hard so you're i picked you as rich there's money there's
45:25money you've got one of those hot taps instead of a kettle because you're rich yes you're also ripped
45:28and you're hard so the hot tap is actually going onto your onto your arms and you're fine with it
45:31because you're rich and hard okay thank you so much didn't have time we're going to win the show
45:37with the quest eating contest thank you henry but before we do would you please thank our guest michelle
45:41wolf richard aiwani and henry packer and my co-host josh witticum and alex brooker
45:54we'll be back next week with social media star gk barry and comedian jack d but right now it's time
45:59for this
46:12simply the grass
46:13yeah
46:14better than all the rest
46:19better than anything
46:24anything i have
46:31all right we're doing this we've got cress in front of you you've got to beat the world champion
46:37what's your best time 25.5 25.5 seconds three two one go
47:15oh
47:15oh my goodness is michelle gonna win
47:18i'm gonna be honest i think michelle has done this
47:25oh
47:30you know what you're doing
47:32you know what you're doing
47:42you're all right michelle
47:44thanks for watching the last league my name's adam hills see you next week for the next league
47:59you
48:00Better than anything, ooh, anything I ever had
48:08Simple is the best question
48:13Better than all the rest
48:17Better than anyone
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