- 6 hours ago
Gogglebox Australia S23E02 Episode 2 Engsub
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00You're not going to believe what happened to me yesterday.
00:02I went to get a coffee and there's a new girl working there.
00:05And she says to me softly, are you a senior citizen?
00:09I said, excuse me?
00:10And she goes, are you a senior citizen?
00:12And I said, why, do I look like one?
00:14I got upset.
00:16Anyway, I ended up getting a discount, my senior citizen's discount.
00:21Every evening in Australia...
00:23This is what I want to see.
00:24It keeps going, this show, it's surprising everyone.
00:26TV reaches over 12 million of us.
00:29Really?
00:29Please.
00:30That's BS.
00:31But have you ever wondered what other people are watching?
00:34No.
00:34What?
00:35I feel like we're at a zoo and all the animals can talk.
00:38Find out what people thought about what was on in the last seven days.
00:42I hate this show.
00:43Oh, I loved it.
00:44Hush!
00:45Oh, my.
00:46This is the weirdest show I've ever seen in my life.
00:49This week, we welcomed back a returning favourite.
00:52Oh, Survivor!
00:53And said hello to a new host.
00:55We've got the golden god, David Gennett.
00:58We also said goodbye to the jungle.
01:00I don't want it to end!
01:02Wait, are we crowning?
01:03Gary!
01:04Gary!
01:04Gary!
01:05And as the Winter Olympics wrapped, we took a trip down memory lane.
01:09Cool Runnings!
01:10Cool Runnings!
01:11This is one of my favourite movies.
01:14Oh, I'm getting all teary.
01:23I lost a tooth.
01:25You lost tooth?
01:27Yeah!
01:27Oh, no.
01:28Look at that gap.
01:29He's lost a few.
01:30Three.
01:31Another one?
01:31Oh, my God.
01:32He's making a lot of money.
01:34Make sure you don't declare it, huh?
01:35Mm-hmm.
01:36Cash only.
01:36Straight under the mattress.
01:38Mm-hmm.
01:39On Monday night...
01:40Oh!
01:42Are we doing it?
01:43Ooh!
01:44Hell at the moon, brother!
01:46We're back!
01:46Oh, Survivor!
01:48Yep.
01:49Survivor is back.
01:50And this season, it's called...
01:52Redemption!
01:54So, I think these are all previous players, or am I wrong?
01:57Well, you're half wrong.
01:58Only a few have been on the show before.
02:00This is Harry.
02:01He's a returning player.
02:02Dirty Harry.
02:03Do you remember him?
02:03Dirty Harry!
02:04Oh, and Simon is back, too.
02:06I remember.
02:07Simon is very attractive.
02:09Oh, yep.
02:10That's Simon.
02:11But there's also some new Survivors, like Daniel.
02:14Pastors can't play a brutal, savage game like Survivor.
02:17Pastor?
02:17Yep.
02:18Pastor.
02:19Hallelujah!
02:20That's the one.
02:20I feel sorry for the people playing against me, because I got...
02:23I got gone.
02:24I would drown myself if I had to sit next to him.
02:26Sorry!
02:27I'm here to win.
02:29Okay, Daniel.
02:29You're first out.
02:30Hold your horses.
02:31There's something else new this season, too.
02:33They're playing to rewrite the story of who they are.
02:37Oh!
02:38Oh!
02:38No more JLP.
02:40We've got the golden god, David Gennett.
02:43David was literally the best player on Survivor of all time.
02:46This is Australian Survivor.
02:48Nah, don't rate him.
02:50It's been on for two seconds.
02:51Give the bloke a chance.
02:52Question is, is he going to wear a hat, and is he going to be Super Jack?
02:56Why not both?
02:56Welcome to Australian Survivor.
03:00Oh, you kind of look like him with short hair.
03:04Redemption.
03:05Yes.
03:05If he cut his hair, he could also look skinny and tired.
03:08Come on.
03:09We've got a challenge to get through.
03:10This reminds me of the Sydney 2000 Olympics.
03:13And a beach to check out.
03:14Oh, look at this.
03:16That's five star right there.
03:18And don't forget Daniel.
03:21Um, I've already forgotten your name again.
03:23My name's Eliza.
03:24Eliza.
03:24Good.
03:25I forgot a name.
03:26Oh, Jesus Christ.
03:27Hey, not in front of the pastor.
03:29Praise the Lord.
03:30That's better.
03:30I'm so bad with names.
03:32Well, that's problematic, Daniel.
03:34You're on Survivor.
03:35May God be with you, habibi.
03:37Yeah, because he might need help for this next challenge.
03:39Come on in.
03:40Oh, he's built like a brick house.
03:43He's growing on you, isn't he?
03:44Something's definitely growing, Leanne.
03:46You'll work together to lift three heavy wheels up and over high poles.
03:50It's got OH&S written all over it.
03:52You'll roll those wheels down a steep ramp into three narrow gates.
03:57First tribe to land all their wheels into those gates wins immunity.
04:01I'm really good at getting like trolleys in like a trolley bay from like a distance.
04:06So I reckon I'd be good at this.
04:07Perfect.
04:08What do you win?
04:08The tribal idol.
04:10That thing's a tribal idol.
04:11What is that?
04:12It's a little bonsai situation.
04:13That looks like a plant that you've been taking care of for six months, Sarah.
04:18Go!
04:19All right, let's see if they can remember the instructions.
04:21They've got to get it in the slot.
04:22Ooh!
04:23Guys!
04:24Stop, stop.
04:25I've done this before.
04:26I've done this before?!
04:27Where have you been doing this?!
04:29In the 1840s on your wagon?!
04:32That's it, baby.
04:34That's it, baby.
04:35That's it, baby.
04:36That's it, baby!
04:36That's it, baby!
04:37It's good!
04:38Baron has won!
04:38Oh, he got it.
04:39He's done this before!
04:42Get in!
04:43Get in!
04:43Get in!
04:44Is that the same guy?
04:45Yes!
04:46Mate, this guy's a surgeon!
04:47He really has done this before!
04:52Yes!
04:52Yes!
04:53Oh!
04:56LeBron James on the wagon wheel!
05:00Good boy, boys!
05:02Get in there!
05:03Bit raw, that is.
05:05Well, this elimination might also get pretty raw.
05:07The reality is it's whoever was the biggest dick when you met them.
05:10I signed up to play Survivor.
05:12I didn't sign up to get a tan on a glorious beach.
05:15No, I'd have to vote him off because he's annoying.
05:17Well, Daniel wants someone else to go.
05:19Who's that?
05:19Some names that I had thrown out was Jackson.
05:25Did he just say his name?
05:27He just told Jackson that Jackson's going to get voted out.
05:31Oh!
05:32He's so dumb.
05:34Sorry, not Jackson, the other.
05:36I always say the wrong name.
05:37Oh!
05:38What's going on?
05:39We've got to do something about Daniel.
05:40Get rid of him!
05:41Get rid of Daniel!
05:44Here we go.
05:45Tribal council.
05:46Guess what they're having for dinner tonight, Kate?
05:48Pastor.
05:51Miracles do happen.
05:52Yeah, but not for Pastor Daniel because...
05:54First person voted out of Australian Survivor.
05:57Daniel.
05:59Bye-bye, Daniel.
06:01Go in peace and love with the Lord, Daniel.
06:06Survivor's good.
06:07I reckon it'd be the most humiliating thing
06:09if you're the first person voted out.
06:11You would 110% be the first person voted out.
06:14What do you mean?
06:24So how's all the prep going, big fella,
06:26with the little one on the way?
06:28I built the cot the other day.
06:29How'd you go with that?
06:30I blew my back out.
06:34Sunday night on the ABC,
06:35we watched an Aussie fave with lots of...
06:39Yep, it's...
06:40Mustard dogs!
06:41Woo-hoo!
06:42I don't like this show.
06:44Why you make me watch this, I don't know.
06:46Yeah, we would see different things.
06:47Yep.
06:48It's the show that turns pups and farmers
06:50into a mustering dream team.
06:52Oh, these dogs are so cute!
06:55Let's see how long Yoshi lasts on the couch.
06:58Dog, that's his...
06:59Yep.
07:00See you, Yoshi.
07:01But for this ep, there's a twist.
07:03What?
07:03The participants will be working without their dogs.
07:07What?
07:07Whoa!
07:08It's muster dogs but the dogs aren't involved.
07:09What?
07:10We don't want to see the people, we want to see the dogs.
07:12I didn't sign up for this.
07:14Well hang on, the farmers might be exciting.
07:16You reckon?
07:16No!
07:17I've come to the conclusion that I hate goats.
07:19What?
07:20He hates goats.
07:21Scared of cattle.
07:22What?
07:22Scared of cattle?
07:23How do you volunteer for this when you're scared of cows?
07:26God, I hate this show.
07:27Hold on, we haven't met Max.
07:30The type of stock handling I think I would kind of need help with is, um, yeah I guess
07:37we, um...
07:41Hello?
07:46Does he know where he is?
07:48He doesn't seem to know what's going on.
07:49Yeah, we should get the training started.
07:51Yeah.
07:52Here we go!
07:53Task one, reading stock signals.
07:56Reading stock signals?
07:57I wish I had that skill.
07:58I'd be a rich man.
07:59The handler must learn to keep a consistent distance on the livestock.
08:03That guy in the red shirt is cute.
08:05To keep them in the one position.
08:07You think that guy is attractive?
08:10Yeah, he's cute.
08:13Do you need my glasses?
08:15For their first task, the farmers will have to move livestock between two points.
08:19Oh, this is going to be interesting.
08:22Yeah!
08:22The first of the participants to be assessed is going to be Ian.
08:26Rustling up sheep.
08:27Well, that's a goat.
08:28Oh, they're goats.
08:29You're kidding me.
08:30And it's not off to a great start.
08:33Oh!
08:34Oh!
08:35One's got away.
08:36Righty-o, we're down to three.
08:37Okay, he failed that.
08:39Well, let's see how dogless Max does.
08:42Sorry, so we're actually just sitting here.
08:43Yes, no we are.
08:44Watch animals go through a gate.
08:45No, we are, yeah.
08:45Getting them through the markers is going to be difficult.
08:49Really?
08:49This is why we've got dogs to help us with mustering animals.
08:52Give it room to come back.
08:54No, stop there.
08:55Isn't mustering hilarious?
08:56It's be just outside their peripheral vision to make them nervous enough to move.
09:00It's all about timing and waiting until they're in position.
09:03Be a creepy person at the pub.
09:04Like this.
09:06Oh, get away.
09:07Let's try coming back the other way.
09:10I don't like that.
09:12Beautiful.
09:13When do the dogs get involved?
09:15Maybe they will in the second task.
09:16Oh, there's more tasks, boys.
09:18Oh, God.
09:19I feel like I'm watching the Olympics that no one asked for.
09:21Task two, recognising the flight zone.
09:24Hmm.
09:25I don't know what that means.
09:26No.
09:27The flight zone is how close you can get to the animal before it runs away.
09:31Isn't this just what they did before?
09:33I think that they're just making things up.
09:34So do we see the dogs in this task?
09:36Nope.
09:37Oh, come on.
09:38Where are the dogs?
09:40Max is having some difficulty keeping the mob together.
09:43He lost one of them.
09:44Do you know what would probably help him?
09:45A dog.
09:46Well, Rex doesn't need his dog.
09:48Wait, this is called muster dogs.
09:50Where are the dogs?
09:51We haven't seen a dog yet.
09:52Malik, are you enjoying this?
09:54No.
09:55Well, hang on.
09:55There's only one farmer left.
09:57Oh, thank goodness.
09:58Control your excitement, please.
10:00Courtney is completely out of her comfort zone.
10:03Oh, she hates cows.
10:04Why is she doing this thing?
10:05It's like me working in a school and being scared of kids.
10:07Work that out.
10:08She's great.
10:09Don't they do that in the movies before the ram?
10:11She's petrified.
10:12What's it going to do?
10:12Moo you to death?
10:13No.
10:14Can't do it.
10:14Yeah, but some people, i.e. me, don't like animals.
10:19Oh, it's looking right at me.
10:21This would be jazz.
10:22Ha Allah, cause if he looks at me like that sideways one more time, I'm running out of here.
10:27I want my dog.
10:29Dogs.
10:29We've seen a dog.
10:30Hey.
10:34Are you kidding?
10:35Not enough dogs.
10:36I feel like I went to the movies to see Batman and I just saw Robin.
10:40Yeah, we've seen a lot of Robin, didn't we?
10:52In Sydney, Mia's still looking for love on the dating apps.
10:56No.
10:56No.
10:58No.
10:58No.
10:59Bleach hair.
11:00No.
11:01Oh, his feet around.
11:02Who gets their feet out on a dating app?
11:03Why are they so old?
11:05I keep upping the ages until I find one I like.
11:09On Monday, it was time for another dramatic episode of...
11:12Mefs!
11:13The drama and the drama and the drama.
11:17Oh, here we go.
11:17What disaster we're going to see tonight.
11:19Are we doing it this year?
11:20Are we in?
11:20We're so in.
11:22Because this week, two new couples join Channel 9's social experiment.
11:26Oh!
11:27Intruder couple.
11:28Welcome to the bitchiness.
11:29Bring it on, baby.
11:31First up is former military man, Tyson.
11:35Oh, hello, Tyson.
11:36I'm joining the army.
11:38Being in the army has shaped me a lot as a person.
11:40I'm very disciplined.
11:41You're not that disciplined, mate.
11:42You can't even get your washing done on time.
11:43I want to make sure that she has the same beliefs, the same values,
11:47and the same morals and principles as me.
11:48Is he American?
11:49No, but he's an absolute...
11:51Douchebag.
11:51That's a better word.
11:52I wouldn't want a woman that's woke.
11:54What?
11:55I hate woke.
11:56No.
11:57He's one of them.
11:58What would be a woke woman for you that you would just absolutely not be able to cope with?
12:03Here we go.
12:03A woman with green hair.
12:05What?
12:05You're out of it.
12:06I haven't got green hair, you moron.
12:08He said grey, didn't he?
12:09Green.
12:10A woman that's a complete feminist.
12:12A woman that hates Donald Trump.
12:13Oh, no.
12:14I don't want a woman with a high body count.
12:16Ah!
12:17He's lovely, this bloke, isn't he?
12:19I'm going to after a girl that has daddy issues.
12:20I've got daddy issues, I'm in a relationship.
12:23Well, wait till you meet Tyson's bride-to-be, Stephanie.
12:26Don't come at me with your woke shit.
12:28Oh, we're putting two anti-wokes together.
12:30When you've got two right wings, it's pretty hard to fly.
12:33As much as people, you know, hate him, it's taken something like Trump to come in and be like,
12:37we're putting a stop to this shit.
12:39Well, they found the perfect match for him.
12:41They've also found the perfect match for fun-loving extrovert Juliet, 31-year-old Joel.
12:47Oh, okay.
12:48I think there'll be a match.
12:49Yo, what's up?
12:50This is my real best man, right here.
12:52Oh, 31 years old.
12:54A bit too old, Joel.
12:55That's a red flag, brother.
12:57Hello, beautiful mum.
12:58Aww.
12:59My mother is my guru, she's my therapist, she's my spiritual guide.
13:02Oh, he's mummy's boy.
13:04I love this.
13:05Joel and I are very close.
13:06Would you like a banana?
13:09Red flag, red flag.
13:11When your mum sits there at the age of 30-something and puts bitcettas on the table and makes your
13:15chicken sandwiches, there's something wrong.
13:18Joel texts me so many times a day, I have to put him on mute.
13:22She wants to get rid of him.
13:24Honestly, sometimes it's intense.
13:25Never trust a mummy's boy, like you.
13:27You are a mummy's boy and you're a disaster.
13:29Who is this perfectly manicured, dapper, suave, sexy, unsophisticated, undomesticated,
13:35who is unapologetically himself at all times, with no exceptions for anyone, anything,
13:39any time or any place.
13:40He's a cricket umpire.
13:41Immediately.
13:43Oh, dude, this guy's cringe.
13:45Time for Tyson and Stephanie to tie the knot.
13:47Tell you what, there won't be a lot of.
13:48Welcome to country.
13:49Yeah.
13:52Um.
13:54When I saw her walk down the aisle, I did get some woke vibes there.
13:57She's getting woke vibes?
13:58The hair's blonde.
13:59And she's a trumper.
14:00So your woke vibes are well off.
14:02You know why?
14:03Because you're a f-
14:04The person across from me today embraces woke culture will have a problem.
14:08Why does he keep using the word woke?
14:10It's like he learnt the word woke last week and he just cannot stop saying woke.
14:14Oh, thank God.
14:16She's like, thank God, I also hate people's rights.
14:19But not quite as much as her hubby Tyson.
14:21Apparently we're having five children.
14:22Five!
14:23Oh my God.
14:24How can it be?
14:25It's only this big.
14:27Oh!
14:27Oh no.
14:29Let him try and push dead the end of his penis and see how he goes.
14:33Five times.
14:34Do you want to be house husband?
14:35Hell no.
14:36Hell no.
14:37You may as well ask me if I want to wear a skirt around the house.
14:40What?
14:40Sis, you wanted this.
14:41You wanted someone that was not woke.
14:43I don't want someone that's going to bring masculine energy to a relationship.
14:46Sorry, like have I missed something?
14:47What about her gives masculine?
14:49I think just because she opens her mouth.
14:50I want a woman that's somewhat submissive.
14:52Oh!
14:54Submissive?
14:55I hate that word.
14:56Where did they pick these people up from?
14:59Cram late at night.
15:00I think there's nothing better than like a woman that's, you know, submissive.
15:04Willing to take a back seat to your life.
15:06Conclave?
15:06What?
15:07Oh my Jesus.
15:09You're going to be shingle forever, Malaka.
15:11Well, maybe things are going better for Joel and Juliet.
15:13One thing about me is that I have an insatiable appetite, not just for food, but for
15:17life, for love.
15:19Oh, well that's nice.
15:20And of course, for my wife.
15:22Is that a Borat reference?
15:24Yeah.
15:26Oh, Joel.
15:27Alright, let's just get to Joel's best man speech.
15:30Oh, I mean mum.
15:31Joel's best mum speech.
15:32I can't, I can't.
15:33He was always very close to me and to his childhood Teddy.
15:37Oh my God.
15:38And he still likes to lie on my lap and have me scratch his back.
15:43Oh my God.
15:45What's he coming here for a bad day at work and she's going, it's okay.
15:46Come on baby.
15:47Come on, get in there.
15:48I hope you're ready, Juliet.
15:49Run woman, run.
15:51I'm here to find the love of my life.
15:54Nope.
15:54You need to run now.
15:55Just go now.
15:56Leave now.
15:57Oh, walk out city.
16:01What in God's name was that episode?
16:04I thought Chad was bad.
16:07Are you kidding me?
16:08Those two grooms made you look like Bachelor of the Year.
16:24I have some colleagues that have visited us this week and we were discussing what we do after work.
16:29One person suggested go down the pub, have a few drinks and shit the bed.
16:34What?
16:35And we were like, what?
16:35She goes, you know, yarn.
16:37We were like, do you mean shoot the breeze?
16:39Hey!
16:39She was like, yeah, that, that.
16:41Oh my God.
16:42This week on 10.
16:44It's it!
16:45We watch the grand finale of...
16:49I'm a celebrity, get me out of!
16:54Wait, are we crowning?
16:55Are we crowning?
16:56That's right.
16:57A celebrity's head is in sight.
16:59And with one last push, we'll find out whose it is.
17:03The season has just flown.
17:05I don't want it to end.
17:07Well, neither do these two.
17:09We don't want it to be over.
17:11Is Robert Irwin wearing a singlet underneath a suit?
17:13How a lesbian is giving.
17:15To place that crown on your favourite celeb's head.
17:17How many are left?
17:18How have we got?
17:19You are the final three.
17:21Yahoo!
17:22The final three consists of footballer slash podcaster slash influencer slash book reviewer, Luke.
17:28He's done everything.
17:29He's done everything.
17:30Everything.
17:32Everything.
17:33Everything.
17:34He's done a lot.
17:35If you'd like Conchetta, named Queen of the Jungle.
17:38Conchetta.
17:39Conchetta.
17:40Conchetta.
17:40Conchetta.
17:41Who is Conchetta?
17:43Anyway.
17:43That's her.
17:44Or to worship King Gary of the Jungle, you need to vote Gary.
17:48Gary!
17:49Yeah, Gary!
17:49Yeah, Gary!
17:50King Gary is my baby!
17:53The nation loves Gary.
17:54I'm so into Gary's swim.
17:56Isn't he gorgeous?
17:56Oh my God, yeah, he's hot.
17:58Even getting older, he's hot.
17:59Yeah, we get it.
18:00To celebrate.
18:01Tonight you dine in style.
18:03And because this is the finale, the celebrities will be skipping their regular diet of scorpions
18:08and pig nipples to instead be eating...
18:11Charcuterie.
18:12What?
18:12Are they going to be eating an anus before they eat this or what?
18:14I hope so.
18:15No, but Gary Sweet does love a salty rim.
18:17A margarita!
18:19Oh, Gary's a margarita kind of guy.
18:21Yeah, baby.
18:22Oh!
18:23See, after that long in the jungle not eating anything, you have a Negroni, they're going
18:27to be pissed.
18:28When...
18:30They're going to start hugging each other and telling each other they love them soon.
18:33I love Luke and Gary so much.
18:37I bloody love you.
18:40Oh, I love you too.
18:42No, you can't because I love you.
18:45Thankfully, the celebrities have a night to recover from the cocktails.
18:50And the next morning, a surprise awaits.
18:53Oh, it's Luke's mum.
18:55Oh, here we go.
18:56He's the tease.
18:57Love this.
18:58Look at her feet dangling.
18:59They don't even touch the floor.
19:04He's going to cry.
19:05He's going to cry.
19:07Hello.
19:08He's crying.
19:09He's crying.
19:10Hello, Mama.
19:12He's a mummy's boy, Luke.
19:13He's a mummy's boy?
19:15Yes.
19:15So, why are you tapping me?
19:17Who's nearly 40 and your mum still cuts your toenails?
19:20I mean, what are you doing?
19:22That's a beautiful mother-son moment, isn't it?
19:27You farted again, eh?
19:30Bro.
19:31This is...
19:32He's having a nice moment with his mum, and you're ripping absolute stinkers.
19:37Next is a surprise for Gary.
19:40Here we go.
19:41Gary's kids.
19:41These guys are grandkids?
19:44Is it dad or granddad?
19:46Grandson.
19:46Dad!
19:48Oh, it's dad.
19:49Oh, it's dad.
19:51Are they Gary's kids?
19:52Aren't they a bit...
19:53Isn't he a bit...
19:54And they're a bit...
19:55How old do you reckon he is?
19:5668.
19:57Wow.
19:58Wow.
19:58So he had kids at 57.
20:00Then he had another one at 60.
20:03Gary had a kid at 60.
20:0760.
20:08How good is this?
20:1060?
20:11Good on him.
20:12Good on him.
20:13Good on him.
20:13Conchetta also sees her family.
20:15He had a newborn at 60.
20:17Yes, it's very impressive.
20:20But now it's time for the big reveal.
20:23Who will wear the crown?
20:24Are we crowning?
20:25Either Luke, Conchetta or Gary.
20:27Come on, let's give it to Gaz.
20:29Everyone loves Gary.
20:30Yeah, Gary!
20:31Yeah, Gary!
20:3260.
20:33And?
20:33The other two are still in it.
20:35Who is Luke again?
20:37I don't know.
20:38And then you have Conchetta.
20:40Come on, Gary.
20:41The winner.
20:42Oh, here we go!
20:44If I'm a celebrity, get me out of here.
20:46Conchetta's gonna win, I think.
20:47I reckon Gary.
20:48Gary!
20:50Go, Gary!
20:5260.
20:53It's Conchetta!
20:56Oh!
20:58Yes!
20:59You picked it.
21:00Told ya.
21:04You are the queen of the jungle.
21:07How do you feel?
21:10Yay!
21:11How do we look?
21:13I'm happy for who?
21:14Well done, Conchetta.
21:16That's our queen!
21:18It's just like a continuous clap.
21:20Just keep clapping.
21:24You reckon Gary would have changed his last name?
21:28From sweet to bitter?
21:34Just tell me when we stop clapping.
21:36How?
21:37Keep going.
21:39A good season.
21:40I'm happy with this season.
21:41They've got to wait.
21:41That's going to be hard to beat.
21:4360.
21:47Surely we've got to stop clapping soon.
21:49Now I'm clapping.
21:50The clap is contagious, right?
21:52All right.
22:03Don't spray if you can't see it.
22:05That stinks.
22:06This moutines odorless, Faye.
22:09Bullshit, I can smell it.
22:10Smells like a fart.
22:14Did you just fart?
22:16Did you just fart?
22:16Yeah.
22:17Tuesday night on SBS, we watched the first episode of a two-part doco series all about...
22:24Australia's greatest con man.
22:26Greatest con man?
22:26It's you Judd.
22:27You finally got your own doco after all these years.
22:30One of the wildest stories in Australian modern history.
22:33Presented by Mark Fennell, this doco tells the story of John Friedrich.
22:37Who's John Friedrich?
22:39In the 80s, he defrauded the banks out of nearly $300 million.
22:43What?
22:44Pretty clever, this dude.
22:46John Friedrich created an entire aviation and sea rescue agency.
22:50Oh, wow.
22:50It's like a movie.
22:51It's the most highly trained and resourced organisation of its type in Australia.
22:57We're the first to bring a pair of waterbombing and fires.
22:59Wow.
23:00Sounds like a talented guy.
23:02Yeah, so far he sounds amazing.
23:04The organisation just smacked of money.
23:07Where's the money coming from?
23:08Ten's political correspondent Kerry O'Brien had the same question.
23:12How have you financed your expansion?
23:14Where you going like everybody else does, to the bank and borrow the funds?
23:18He looks like the guy from the Guess Who gang.
23:19Is he bald?
23:20Yes.
23:21Oh, sure.
23:21He's got hair on the sides?
23:22Yes.
23:22You'd get a hair transplant, wouldn't you?
23:24You'd go to Turkey.
23:25Well, Friedrich was going to every bank in town, borrowing money to pay massive work invoices.
23:31Those invoices did not exist.
23:33Basically, he was lying.
23:35Oh, Fredo's a fraud.
23:37In 1989, John Friedrich vanished.
23:40And he's missing.
23:41This was the moment when he went on the run.
23:44Where'd he go, Spain?
23:45I can be at the Bahamas.
23:46Has anyone checked in Turkey?
23:49It's finished.
23:51We don't get to find any more.
23:52We've got to watch the next episode.
23:53Yup.
23:54And on Wednesday night, we tuned in for EP2, where we find out how John was really getting
24:00his money.
24:01How did he do it?
24:02Here was one of the keys to his multi-million dollar scam.
24:05Shipping containers.
24:07And as far as the banks and everyone else was concerned, he would fill that container
24:10with expensive rescue equipment.
24:12We can rapidly deploy it wherever it's needed.
24:14It's a very good idea.
24:16The problem was all the other ones were empty.
24:18Oh, so they're empty.
24:19Empty.
24:19Empty.
24:20Empty.
24:20Empty.
24:21Empty.
24:22Empty.
24:25How smart is that?!
24:27Oh, how dumb are the bankers?
24:28I love a little bit of bank rip off.
24:30Would be nice.
24:31Diggit.
24:32It's because of you we have all these taxes and bloody album numbers and bullshit and bullshit.
24:38Sure.
24:38anyway when John went missing his face was everywhere his face was all over the
24:43television anyone who was vaguely round-faced slightly balding was being
24:49bailed up on the street you would have been arrested straight up including this
24:54tourist this guy looks like it arrested nine times since early yesterday no I'm
25:01not John Friedrich is it bad to say that they all look the same we had a team
25:05that was working on his identity and it turns out he was using different names
25:10as well do you recognize that person who is he Holmberger Fritz Fritz Holmberger
25:16Fritz Holmberger what a name sounds like a happy meal fries hamburger yeah that's
25:23faker than the first day after weeks of wild speculation they got him in a
25:27caravan park what he stole a hundred million dollars and he was in a caravan
25:32park goes to show how expensive Australia's John Friedrich has been
25:36arrested beside a West Australian highway is it the real John though no it's the
25:40backpacker again are you sure that the man you've got is John Friedrich that is the
25:45real John look at that hairline ultimately John Friedrich was charged with 98 counts
25:50of fraud and deception look at him the cheeky bugger don't you just want to go
25:54and wipe that smirk off his face no I don't care oh so he robbed some money from the
25:58banks they have a lot of money they rob us have you seen those overdrawn fees
26:02what makes John Friedrich's fraud different to most other frauds he
26:06doesn't get the money what the hell so where was the money going it simply ran
26:12the entire National Safety Council right so he did spend it on himself or keep it
26:16this money stayed in Victoria even though it's morally wrong this guy is actually
26:21helping thousands of people be rescued he may have committed the largest fraud in
26:25the country but the man himself was actually broke what a twist he should have put his
26:29money into hamburgers and while John was out on bail things took a dark turn what's happened
26:37now we're positively identified the deceased person that is John Friedrich no it's awful
26:45well it's a very sad ending he takes his own life about a kilometer from his house
26:51oh that's actually quite sad so was he a good bloke or a bad bloke you cannot deny that it
26:56saved lives
26:58like is what he did actually that bad it's a con man and you're being conned you are a literal
27:04con man's dream I'm gonna have to bail you out one day from something it's gonna be a bloody cult
27:10100% any worry I've joined a cult I'm naked in the fields fantastic get in my hyonda and shut
27:16up get a grip
27:31so like my first year anniversary coming up and I said to Sarah let's go to a theater
27:35a theater yeah or watch a play or a musical and Sarah's like are you okay who have you been
27:42talking
27:42about a restaurant like let's go to a theater even the way you're saying theater doesn't sound natural
27:48like you've never said the word this week on binge we watched a wholesome new series all about wool
27:55hosted by this guy a new generation of knitters are taking the world by storm it's Tom Daly famous for
28:03knitting scarves at the Olympics he's so wholesome he's so cute homo yep that's him and now Tom's hosting a
28:11brand new knitting competition show is knitting like you've never seen it before what is TV coming
28:17to pottery done baking done sewing done welcome it's a game of wool knitting knitting is having a
28:25comeback really mind-blowing challenges right here in our magical yarn bar what on earth is he wearing
28:32oh he's so fabulous welcome knitters oh look at the motley crew and judging the show I have true
28:38knitting VIPs I've just gone to the local nursing home and found the two women knitting I heard the
28:44judges have to change every season though your first solo challenge we'd like you to make a tank top
28:50a tank top we'd like you to make it your story defining who you are there's a lot of yarns
28:58yeah yeah shut up knitters have full creative freedom to design and knit their own story I would put
29:05a train on it as in I'm a train wreck they have just 12 hours I don't think some of
29:10these contestants
29:11have 12 hours left well we better meet them quickly then first up is cruise ship singer Gordon and I'm
29:17knitting like mad Gordon does not look like a knitter nah he looks like a security guard yes next we
29:23meet
29:23Isaac I knit primarily for myself I don't need to stick to any deadlines okay so Isaac's unemployed Isaac's
29:29tank top features a gaggle of geese I love geese oh that's nice roast goose is my favorite protein
29:36library worker dipty knits to unwind dipty is that a name yes you're one of the Teletubbies and lastly we
29:43meet
29:43Holger I'm not surprised he's Anita I'm feeling very stressed about time oh my gosh Humpty Dumpty I think
29:48he's had a few falls yeah amazing thank you all right first to show their masterpiece is Gordon oh
29:54oh here he is come on Hagrid Gordon I really like the overall design it's a bit of a mess
29:59what he's
30:00produced oh that's shit ass brother quite an undertaking that's fashion derelict fashion can I just say it
30:08tells me a lot about you that's something Hagrid would wear oh yeah it is well let's see if Elsa's
30:13is any better wow it's so beautiful well I like that that's nice what's with the hole in the back
30:19I would wear it it's got a glory hole at the back oh my gosh and it's got a weird
30:23bow tie at the front
30:25yeah I'm actually gonna buy one next up Isaac I like the geese really a stroke of genius really I
30:31love
30:31it I don't know like Einstein was a genius the guy who put geese on a vest well that's ugly
30:36what's next
30:37dipty oh oh dipty that's cute unfortunately not oh his head doesn't fit through I was very upset that he
30:45couldn't wear it that means dipty's gone home is that the end not yet there's still one more challenge
30:51and this one's a team knit team it oh god hurry up we want you to come up as a
30:57team with a fitted
30:59sofa cover a sofa cover you're not going to have very much time to do it well then shut up
31:04you have
31:0410 hours 10 hours yep and after 10 hours of knitting sewing and teamwork we don't have enough
31:12pieces to cover the sofa yet don't let dipty be in charge of the measurements the first team come up
31:17with this it's incomplete looks like lincroft threw up oh all right well what do you think of this one
31:25gross but it's better than the shit one let's see what the judges think it's wow but it's not oh
31:31wow
31:32oh it's wow enough all right wow wow one sofa demonstrated a better design concept and execution
31:40oh I wonder which one that is the ombre let's set the sun on that fugly couch and move on
31:47but wait
31:47someone from the fugly couch team has to go home this is a competition someone get eliminated
31:53I'll just stand up and say I'll go the person being cast off is dipty dipty dipty dipty dipty
32:01Gordon Gordon not Gordon what did Gordon do?
32:06Group hug come on everyone in
32:08I am a lord kumbaya
32:12thank you everyone now I've seen it all
32:17thank the lord
32:18no look there'll be people that love that that knit and do all that and think it's fantastic
32:22yeah but I'm not one of them
32:40and I actually caught the train and bus to work today okay I was like you've got the workers you've
32:47got the trainees you've got the school kids it was a plethora of people from everywhere
32:51plethora even new experiences new vocabulary I was like I should catch public transport more often
32:57will you?
33:01this week
33:02I'm a cover girl
33:03we watched a new bear all documentary series about the downfall of America's next top model
33:09Tiffany I'm extremely disappointed in you
33:11oh Tyra Banks here we go
33:13you come in here with a defeatist attitude I don't have a bad attitude
33:16I remember that scene
33:19this is iconic
33:20stop it
33:21I have never in my life yelled at a girl like this
33:24I was rooting for you
33:25we were all rooting for you
33:26this show was the darling of the reality TV world
33:2910,000 girls turned out for America's next top model
33:32it was huge
33:33I ate this up
33:35until it all came tumbling down
33:37it can make you or break you
33:39I think it broke a lot
33:42reality check
33:43inside America's next top model
33:45this is the expose on top model about how toxic it was
33:48it's like big fat loser
33:49the biggest loser
33:51big fat loser
33:53it's time to talk about it
33:55the good and the bad the ugly
33:56are they going after Tyra or no?
33:58I haven't really said much
34:00but now it's time
34:01where is she now?
34:03she's in Sydney selling ice cream
34:04really? she does ice cream now?
34:06yeah now she's Mr Whitby
34:08oh yeah you're right
34:10I just googled it
34:10fun fact that you didn't need to know
34:12but now you know
34:12I'm gonna take you to 2020
34:14it was COVID
34:16everyone's inside
34:17binging TV
34:18we were we were starving for it
34:21and started to binge top model
34:22and it went from this thing that everybody loves
34:24to like look how wrong this is
34:26Gen Z not taking kindly to stuff he did in the 2000s
34:29they could not get away with this now
34:31Tyra Banks should have been called out years ago
34:33America's next top model was so unhinged
34:36she got retrospectively cancelled
34:38what I think is important is to understand where that came from
34:41is this justification factor?
34:43what is this?
34:44apology to her salvaging of my reputation
34:46I think she's just cashing in somewhat
34:48Tyra came up with the concept in the early 2000s
34:51I created a show where you saw what it took to become a model
34:56the story arc goes like this
34:58what a great positive show
35:00there are so many things that it takes to be a top model
35:04and you guys are going to be put through lots of different tests
35:07it would have been a rude shock to come on this show
35:10thinking that it was genuinely about training you up to be a model
35:14all the girls with a Brazilian bikini wax
35:16they're waxing the chuch on national television
35:19God I would not want someone to see me getting a Brazilian wax
35:24that's just torture on TV
35:27oh my god no
35:28I need to get mine done before I go to Sydney for Mardi Gras next week
35:31I don't know if that's enough wax for that Tyra
35:34judges could be a little cruel
35:36a little bit
35:37stupid fish
35:38I like Giselle
35:39but I think she needs to tighten up
35:40she's got a wide ass
35:41it's kind of wide
35:42she's cold of fat
35:44I'm 18 years old
35:45growing into my body
35:46and she's like Giselle
35:48she's got a wide ass
35:49this wasn't just damaging for the women on the show
35:51it was damaging for like women as a whole
35:53it was very very intense
35:55I'm interested to see if she owns any of this
35:57she's hiding my
35:58I'm going to do it again
36:00whoa
36:00see Tyra's no good
36:02Tyra was a tyrant
36:03and she got the green light to mentor a whole new bunch of hopefuls
36:07who's this girl now?
36:09Shandy Sullivan
36:10I work at a Walgreens
36:11I know that too
36:12their baby's going on this show
36:14they called me at work
36:15and they're like
36:16so you made the cut
36:18imagine that
36:18just working at Walgreens
36:20and then you're the next top model
36:21perfection personified
36:23oh compliment from her
36:24yours were some of the best photographs he's taken all year
36:26so they've built her up
36:28it goes downhill from there
36:29did you want to win it all?
36:31I did until
36:32till what?
36:33until what happened in Milan
36:34what happened in Milan?
36:36ciao
36:36ciao
36:38here's how you'll be getting around Milan
36:39now come and choose your driver
36:41these random Italian blokes
36:42and then
36:43someone thought it was a good idea
36:44for the drivers to stop by the contestants hotel
36:49I don't think I'd eaten anything at all
36:52or had any sleep
36:53oh no
36:55I remember getting in the hot tub
36:56and I was pretty drunk at that point
36:58drunk and then basically kids?
37:01no one did anything to stop it
37:02what?
37:03I was blacked out
37:04oh no
37:05all I remember is just like
37:06I'm on top of me
37:07where was the film crew?
37:08and it all got filmed
37:09oh that's awful
37:11all of it
37:13oh my god
37:14where's the duty of care?
37:16Tyra Banks
37:17how dare you let this go to air
37:20a more difficult territory
37:21is Shandy
37:23Shandy
37:24okay
37:24well hang on the sexual assault story
37:26can't quite remember it
37:28you remember the story with Shandy?
37:30um
37:33oh no
37:34cliffhanger
37:35how's she gonna back out of that one?
37:37yeah explain yourself please
37:38nah
37:38her moving down under
37:39making more and more sense
37:41she's even had to leave the entire industry
37:43and make ice cream
37:56I was on the couch the other day with Celia watching The Incredibles
37:59oh best movie
38:00and she goes
38:01oh daddy he has really big arms
38:04talking about Mr Incredible
38:05yes
38:05and she turned to me and she said
38:06you have really small arms
38:08got a gym membership now?
38:09yeah I do
38:10yeah
38:10I'm gonna start doing some bicep curls
38:12yeah that's tough
38:14this week
38:14we watched a show about a strange American thing called
38:18sorority rush
38:19sorority rush
38:20what?
38:21if you're going through rush
38:21you're gonna want to get on my radar
38:23if you've got thrush
38:24you're on her radar
38:26that's a bit weird
38:27do all these women have thrush?
38:29I'm just like a sweaty mess
38:30no
38:31the phenomenon in question is called rush
38:34what does rush mean?
38:36great question
38:36it's got something to do with sororities
38:39but what's a sorority?
38:40great question
38:41I think it's where they live when they're at college
38:43rush is the process where sororities recruit new members
38:47I live for the sorority rush week
38:49eh?
38:50what's that mean?
38:51great question
38:52what are we watching?
38:53great question
38:54it is a great question
38:55it is a full phenomenon over there
38:58but what is it?
38:59what is this guys?
39:00what's this about?
39:01I don't know
39:02what?
39:03can someone explain this?
39:05sorority
39:06doesn't that mean
39:06no that's sobriety
39:08anyone else?
39:09so you've got sororities
39:10fraternities
39:12in American college systems
39:14one's for guys
39:14one's for girls
39:15rush is like the week before
39:17almost like O week
39:18where you put all your applications out to a sorority or a fraternity
39:21and then rush is when they pick you
39:24now I get it
39:25and the final thing you need to know
39:26is that the mums are really into it
39:29I'm living vicariously through her
39:31I might want it more than Emily
39:33oh is this a dance mums for sorority houses?
39:37pretty much
39:38no this is not a real TV show
39:40there's some things that just happen in America that I don't understand
39:45hey y'all it's Alexis
39:46and all I've been working on is a rush
39:48southern girl Alexis is hoping to get into the sorority that her mum was in
39:54once upon a time
39:55my family has always been active in sororities
39:59look how old her mum is
40:00it's a big deal in the south
40:02this is her mum
40:03she looks like a great grandmother
40:05well rush is difficult
40:07it's a very hard process
40:08look at that house
40:09like they might have owned some questionable farms back in the day
40:12I dare say that that house may have a master suite if you know what I'm saying
40:17I went to the University of Georgia
40:19her mum went through rush like pre-war
40:21I think she was the woman that told Rosa Parks she couldn't sit on the bus
40:27Lexi this is Bill Iverson
40:29the number one rush coach in America
40:32a coach?
40:33first thing we're gonna do
40:34we don't put our hands in front of our privates
40:37what?
40:38we don't cup the cooter Miss Paula
40:41don't cup the cooter
40:44I love that saying
40:45I want to go over your resume
40:48resume?
40:48I want to look at your videos
40:50so this is like an etiquette coach
40:52yep for getting into the sorority
40:54I truly think Americans are on some sort of medication
40:58Paula Paula
40:59we're legacies
41:00you've got homework
41:01tell me
41:01you're gonna learn how to become mute for the first time in your life
41:05I like this coach
41:07next Bill heads even further south
41:09to help this girl get into her chosen sorority
41:12tell me what we're doing
41:14so I'm just a regular southern girl
41:16she's a country bumpkin girl who's
41:17oh baby sugar honey and all this kind of stuff
41:21this guy is literally Will Ferrell
41:23playing a role
41:24if you're acting like you're the po-bro girl
41:27falling off the turnip truck
41:28you're gonna get treated that way
41:29now don't get me wrong
41:31I love a man with a project
41:33however
41:33has he been in a sorority house himself?
41:36it's a great question
41:36it is a great question
41:37what qualifications does Bill have?
41:40great question
41:40Bill knows everything about thrush
41:42the rush
41:43sorry yeah rush
41:44for example
41:45this crucial step of the process
41:47get ready with me to make my round one rush video
41:50I'm low-key nervous
41:52what the hell?
41:54you need to do a get ready with me tiktok video
41:56to make it through
41:57what?
41:58it's okay to bring that little bit of chillier girl out
42:00that is everything wrong with the world
42:02and the big day has finally arrived
42:04where thousands and thousands of young women descend on the colleges
42:08my god how many of them are there?
42:10all of the girls they are handed envelopes
42:12and it will tell them which sorority they got a bid to
42:16I thought you just have like you get in by just being hot
42:18hey come on now
42:19anyway
42:20coincidentally
42:21both Alexis
42:22yep you're hot
42:23through
42:23and the southern girl
42:25hot
42:25through
42:26had no trouble getting into the sororities they wanted
42:29hooray
42:30and college life can begin
42:32what about the studying?
42:33it doesn't matter
42:35America is such an odd place
42:37do you know how I got into my college accommodation?
42:39I filled in a form
42:40blackfollars we just happen to get into any university
42:56in Queensland Nick and Milo are admiring the heroics of our winter olympians
43:0110,000 condoms in three days were used in the village
43:06well they are our super athletes mate
43:08they are doing a lot of practice
43:09they have some good cardio
43:10oh mate
43:11for the past two weeks Australia's had winter olympics fever
43:15of course
43:16but since we couldn't get the rights to the footage
43:19here's the next best thing
43:21cool running
43:22oh
43:23yes
43:24this is one of my favourite movies
43:28me too
43:28yeah I loved cool running
43:30right back to my childhood
43:32it takes me back to Nana's house
43:34take your marks
43:35the story begins with young sprinter Dereese Bannock
43:38trying to qualify for Jamaica's Olympic team
43:41all to get into the summer olympics
43:43exactly
43:44but then disaster strikes
43:48the three fastest boys all tripped over
43:50exactly
43:51remember like that Steve guy
43:53exactly
43:54the rollerblader
43:55wait what
43:56not the rollerblade the blade runner
43:58Harrison Ford
43:59and he was coming pretty much last or second last
44:02and they all fell
44:03Steve Bradley
44:04oh that'll do
44:05anyway after spotting an old photo of his dad Dereese comes up with a plan B
44:10who's the other man who picks you with my father
44:12oh
44:13Irving Britzer
44:14who's an Olympic bobsledder
44:15who tried to get your father to switch sports
44:17that's how it started
44:19because that's basically who bobsledders are aren't they?
44:22failed sprinters
44:22wow
44:23I think they're white sprinters
44:25exactly
44:26anyway Dereese and his best friend Sunker
44:28then track down Blitzer in a nearby bar
44:31are you Mr Irving Blitzer?
44:33well that depends on who's asking
44:35oh my god John Candy
44:37that's right
44:37he is
44:38hilarious
44:39that's right
44:42anyway after convincing Blitzer to come on board as coach
44:46just give me a chance
44:47I'll give you a chance
44:48we'll give anyone a chance can we?
44:50hey
44:52hey
44:52the other two disqualified sprinters round out the crew
44:56say hello to the first Jamaican bobsled team
44:59aloha
45:00that's not Jamaican
45:02and then it's down to business
45:04is this the training montage?
45:05oh yeah
45:07whoa
45:09bang
45:10bang
45:10thank you
45:11you're dead man
45:12yeah man
45:13then the team heads north to Canada to qualify for the games
45:17but things don't go smoothly
45:19they're all shocked
45:20well it makes sense the last thing in Jamaica you'd ever see would be snow
45:25well thanks man
45:27they then get their first real bobsled
45:29oh my god
45:30oh my god
45:31it is an actual
45:32shitbox
45:33you reckon they bought that off facebook marketplace
45:34have their first training run on real ice
45:37oh no
45:38it's an embarrassment to Jamaica
45:40and get a frosty reception from their fellow competitors
45:43you have no business here Jamaica
45:45piss off
45:46leave the bobsledding to the real man
45:48why are the evil people always German?
45:50a question historians have been grappling with for decades
45:53but anyway it's here things start to turn around
45:56now look in the mirror and tell me what you see
45:58here we go
45:59love this hype session
46:01I see pride
46:01I see power
46:02I see a badass mother
46:04who don't take no crap out of nobody
46:07again
46:07I see pride
46:08I can't hear you
46:09I see power
46:10I see a badass mother
46:12who don't take no crap out of nobody
46:14that's right
46:15that's right
46:15about to kick off
46:17yes
46:19woos
46:20classic 90s fight move
46:22here comes Sunker
46:24but now they're a team because they're sticking up for each other
46:27yes
46:27Gotham unites the boys
46:29like a few beers and a punch on
46:32don't condone the glassing
46:34yeah don't glass people
46:34and they take the new team spirit onto the qualifying track
46:38where this happens
46:39is it under 60?
46:41they qualified
46:42they're in
46:43they've got plenty of condoms
46:44and they carry that momentum into the main event
46:47Jamaica we have number 13
46:49we've got the wonderies and the one junior
46:52you sunk
46:53the fastest of the fastest of Jamaican sprinters
46:56go to Canada race for Jamaica
46:58how do you know all the words?
47:00because my party trick
47:01and after an early heat that defies the odds
47:04rockets them up the leaderboard
47:05they're now in 8th
47:06well that's not bad
47:07they enter their final run
47:09dreaming of a medal
47:10so this is it
47:11we could see history
47:12in the making
47:14Paul do you reckon they're gonna do it?
47:15I reckon they'll get top 5
47:16I hope they get top 3
47:18feel the rhythm
47:19feel the rhyme
47:20get on up
47:21it's bobsled time
47:22we're in eggs!
47:24I know
47:26every word in this movie
47:29look how fast they are
47:31uh oh
47:32the Jamaicans are flying through the birds
47:35something coming loose there?
47:37oh
47:38no!
47:39oh
47:40oh
47:41oh
47:42oh
47:44you're grating ice with your head
47:46oh
47:47oh
47:47that's why they wear those helmets
47:48the race
47:49the race
47:50you dead yet man
47:51no man
47:52i'm not dead
47:53i have to finish the race
47:56finish the race fellas
47:58yeah
47:59ah
48:00the boys are up
48:01oh
48:02goosebumps
48:02is this not like a just a heroic moment
48:06they walk the sled across the finish line
48:08oh
48:09i'm getting all teary
48:11i thought they won the gold
48:13no they didn't
48:16oh
48:17he still makes me choke up
48:18i'm gonna cry
48:19is this is this the ending?
48:21yes
48:21yes
48:21you are kidding
48:25what an absolute classic
48:27they don't make movies like this anymore
48:29no they don't
48:30it's about how you play the game whole not whether you win
48:33but if things are based on true stories just change it
48:38you
48:39you
48:40you
Comments