- 7 hours ago
The Claudia Winkleman Show S01 Episode 1 Engsub
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00:00This is weird because we haven't met but I'm just gonna say out loud. I'm obsessed by you
00:06Everybody this is Chris. Say hello. Hi
00:10Chris does this extraordinary thing on social where he talks to birds who was the naughtiest bird this week spud
00:23Where does Spud sleep in her aviary, okay
00:30I'm so nervous. I didn't need to touch people
00:37Hello, oh, I'm gonna do this with everybody
01:05We are incredibly grateful we hope you like the colorway and approve of the carpet to be honest
01:11It is too late if you loathe we have an amazing audience and it's now time to welcome our brilliant
01:17guests
01:18He is a triple threat comedian presenter author. He's got a new book called common decency. It's Tom Allen
01:36I've been nominated for 11 Grammys and she's currently in the West End production of the Devil Wears Prada. It's
01:43Vanessa Williams
01:52She is the writer and star of absolutely fabulous and national treasure and she's here to talk about her new
01:59film the magic faraway tree
02:00It's Jennifer Saunders
02:10And we have got Hollywood royalty. He starred in everything from Jurassic Park to the Grand Budapest Hotel
02:17He's also a musician and has a new album out. It's the wonderful Wizard of Oz himself Jeff Goldblum
02:39Thank you so much. Have a seat. This is I can't believe it. Thank you for coming on the first
02:46and possibly last show
02:47No, it won't be
02:49We're going to enjoy ourselves. We'll end with the conga
02:52Imagine you said you said it's the last show. I'll be cut to in a blink of an eye
02:5830 years from now the longest-running show ever
03:08I'm going to start with this. How do you feel about the set? I think it's stunning
03:14I'm loving I'm like I like the height yet. Go ahead because and I like the back being here being
03:20close to the actual back
03:22Yes, you know, they don't have back. Oh, I'm so sorry
03:29I'm basically on a buffet actually or my parents used to have a buffet and then when I came out
03:35they suddenly changed it to the footstool
03:45This is its maiden voyage, right? It's all all new. I would call this a hunter green possibly. Yes, correct.
03:53Very manly kind of
03:55British green. Yes
03:57Hunter would you call it?
03:59Emerald green
04:01Would you dark white teal
04:03Would you like to meet the woman who chose the color of the sofa?
04:08Here's the scene we go to a basement a sort of sofa workshop if you oh, yeah, we all go
04:15as a gang
04:15We meet a woman called Trudy we couldn't decide between two colors Trudy's here Trudy
04:29Trudy you you chose this color did you not it was really you chose the color
04:35amongst 70 other options
04:39And we designed and made the sofa that it goes on. Wow. Well done Trudy
04:45What would you call this color, please? I would call it a very dark
04:50teal
04:56I do think as well you guys who work in furniture shops are great
05:01Oh
05:02I beg your pardon
05:04It's a
05:05It's a
05:06It's a
05:06It's a
05:07It's a
05:07It's a
05:08It's a
05:13With what you've got
05:15Okay
05:15You don't get this in any old shops
05:17Trudy I'm sorry I wish I was dead
05:18Trudy
05:18I wish I was dead
05:19I love
05:21I mean this is what I live for as a gay man being assaulted by an upholsterer
05:29The last time I bought any furniture though I went in to buy a mattress and I walked into the
05:33shop and the woman said hi
05:34I'm Faye and I went oh my god
05:36So am I
05:39Good mattress a deep one I hope
05:41You know what buying a mattress is complicated
05:43Have you ever bought one?
05:45I bet you've not bought one you're a Hollywood star
05:47No
05:47You don't buy furniture
05:49You have to buy a mattress for lifetime
05:51Yeah
05:51That's what they say always invest in a good bed or good shoes
05:54Yeah
05:55Because if you're not in one you're in the other
05:58Love that
05:58You can have that
05:59And it we went in and she was like and she said you gotta lie on lie on it lie
06:04on the bed lie on it
06:05Like they put down that plastic sheet as though it's gonna be so comfortable. I'm gonna immediately piss myself
06:11So I'm sliding all over the place and and then she gets on the bed next to me what I
06:17know and then she said cuttle
06:18For it basically and then she said how do you sleep which sounds sort of accusatory?
06:23Something you shout at people in court is that how do you sleep?
06:26And I said well, I don't know. I'm usually asleep and she said well, are you supported? I said I've
06:30got some very good friends
06:35And then before I went she said and and do you have nightstands and I said well that is absolutely
06:40none of your business
06:49Explain that joke to me because
06:55The double meaning of that of course is a nightstand next to the bed the piece of furniture Trudy
06:59Yeah, but is nightstand because I think it's a Britishism is the double on tonda which is French for fish
07:05of the day. I think
07:07Is a nightstand is that is that like a like a one-night again counter a one-night encounter?
07:14Yeah, we don't say that in America
07:15I've never had a nightstand
07:17I thought you just meant an erection
07:19Do you know what? I thought of many things this way it was gonna go
07:25I didn't think we'd be here with three minutes in
07:27Not so quickly, not so quickly
07:28Not so fast, but yeah
07:29Okay, you two, Vanessa and Jennifer
07:32You are linked by a hairdresser
07:35Yes, by Sven
07:39There's a battle tonight because Sven does both of us you booked in first
07:43Well, babes
07:46He's got a lot more work to do
07:49He started this morning
07:51He's very creative
07:53I haven't known Sven that long
07:54Oh, six years, I got you
07:56Oh babes, darling
07:56I miss those days talking about a hairdresser
08:02Jeff, I would love to talk to you about your album
08:06Look at this
08:08Isn't that beautiful?
08:09Thank you
08:10Thank you
08:14Isn't that beautiful?
08:15It is funny
08:16I think so really well
08:17Fontana, you know, are great
08:19And my other people, my friends helped me do that
08:23The graphics of it, I do like it
08:24Night Blooms is the name of it
08:27It's a kind of a companion piece to our other fourth album
08:30Which was still blooming, you get the connection
08:32Oh
08:32Love it
08:33And I love this album very much
08:36It's jazz
08:37You know, we play jazz
08:38We're called Jeff Goldblum and the Mildred Schnitzer Orchestra
08:40And just to name a few
08:42How many in the orchestra?
08:45Five
08:45Two
08:45It was a joke
08:47I made a joke
08:48But last year, the BAFTAs
08:50I had the honour of playing during the in memoriam section
08:53Oh
08:54I played on the piano with their orchestra
08:57You sung
08:58You must remember
08:59As Time Goes By
08:59Oh, I thought it was Ding Dong The Witch is Dead
09:04Don't even
09:06No, that's macabre
09:08No, it was
09:09It was
09:09You know, it was
09:11As Time Goes By
09:12That beautiful song
09:13And we liked it so much
09:14That on this next album
09:15I sing a little bit of it
09:17And I play some more
09:17And there's an orchestra on this one
09:20Which brings me, by the way
09:21You may
09:22You brought
09:22You triggered something else in me just now
09:24This is lovely
09:26Ding Dong
09:27Which is dead
09:27Cynthia Erivo
09:28The great Cynthia Erivo
09:30Amazing
09:30And I
09:31On this next album
09:32With strings
09:33And a big band
09:33Do a newfangled version of
09:36If I only had a brain
09:38Oh
09:39What a beautiful
09:40Now you're rather really young
09:42You're very with the flowers
09:43Yeah
09:44So
09:45And many other surprises
09:46But
09:47Thank you for bringing it up
09:48I'm very crazy about this album
09:50We have a clip of you playing
09:52Not a song from this album
09:53But I believe the last one
09:54But it's fantastic
09:55Have a look
09:56OK
10:19Isn't it lovely?
10:22It's so lovely
10:23Thank you
10:24Thank you
10:25Thank you
10:26I'll tell you, they love it.
10:28I know.
10:31You played when you were young.
10:32I love this story, I don't know if it's true.
10:34And you used to phone restaurants just saying,
10:36I hear you need a pianist.
10:37Can you imagine when you were really, like, 15?
10:40I was sort of... I had some moxie or something like that,
10:42and I was full of beans.
10:44And even though around 10 years old, after my dad said,
10:46if you find something you love to do,
10:48that may be a vocational guidepost,
10:50then I'd set my heart to an acting career.
10:54But around the same time, I was taking...
10:56I had fallen in love with jazz and the piano,
10:58and I thought I was being clever
10:59and looked at the phone book and called cocktail lounges
11:02around Pittsburgh. I was 15, I think, at that point.
11:05And said, hey, I hear you need a pianist.
11:07They'd said, no, we don't know what you're talking about.
11:09Who's this? No, no, no.
11:09You're like, never mind.
11:10But a couple of people said, we have a piano,
11:12come over and play it.
11:13I got a couple of gigs that way,
11:15and my parents would drive me to the thing,
11:17and I started to play.
11:18It's almost the seed of what this has become.
11:21Yeah.
11:21Like that, you know.
11:22Exactly.
11:26Um, I have become slightly obsessed with your wife,
11:30because she sometimes performs with you.
11:33We have a clip.
11:35She's spectacular.
11:36Here we go.
11:37She's spectacular.
11:38This is Emily.
11:38Look, look.
11:39That's Emily.
11:41Isn't she amazing?
11:43She was in the Olympics.
11:47She, Emily Goldblum, for heaven's sakes, whom I met at the gym 14 years ago.
11:52She was doing something like that.
11:54I wanted to go and said, what are you doing?
11:56Look at that.
11:56That's at the world famous Troubadour.
11:58I don't think anyone's listening to you playing.
11:59Yeah.
12:01Good point.
12:02That's at the Troubadour.
12:02You know the Troubadour?
12:03Yes.
12:03Yes.
12:04We performed.
12:05We did three sold-out shows.
12:06She's amazing.
12:08We did three sold-out shows there.
12:10And Emily, who was in the Olympics, doing rhythmic gymnastics.
12:14She was, that year that she went to Sydney and did that, she was the Pan American champion.
12:19She was the best of that in North South America.
12:22She's fantastic.
12:23She's still a world-class athlete.
12:24As you can see, she's doing that.
12:25She's amazing.
12:26We did that a month ago at the Troubadour.
12:30Anyway, that's Emily Goldblum.
12:31It's just like looking at me at home.
12:35How do you compete with that?
12:36You know when you go home and one of you says, I'll put some toast in, and does four cartwheels
12:41and puts it in with her toes.
12:43She does.
12:44Every move is quite a picture.
12:46I bet.
12:48She's astounding.
12:49But, yes.
12:49But you can also do something rather wonderful.
12:52Well, I do this.
12:53It's not an Olympic activity yet.
12:55Buckle up, guys.
12:55I can wiggle my ears, but one at a time.
12:59Watch, watch this.
13:01Ready?
13:02Yeah.
13:03Oh, my goodness.
13:05That's right, that's right.
13:09I apologise.
13:11Unbelievable.
13:12I apologise.
13:14Jeff, you've starred, obviously, in Oscar-nominated Wicked, the biggest musical film in recent memory.
13:20Yeah, yeah.
13:23And this is my favourite thing.
13:25I don't know whether this is true, but please say it is, that occasionally you would look down
13:30the lens and speak directly to the editor and say, I like that take, or, is that true?
13:36Yes, I would do takes.
13:37I was trying to do a good job, and sometimes, as was my want to do, I think is the
13:42phrase,
13:43I would, after a take, I would go, and he would go, and cut, OK.
13:48Jeff says, Myron Karstein.
13:50That's, I say, that's a good one.
13:53Just so you know, our editor's called Steve.
13:55He's happy with any notes you have.
13:58That's your camera, over there.
14:01If you've said something that you're particularly proud of, you just say, Steve, add.
14:04Yes, I think I've been lively tonight, Steve.
14:07And I say any, any genuine moment, that especially, I like the spontaneous ones,
14:13where there's a real connection, which I've felt strongly with us.
14:17So I say, so far, anything is good for the show.
14:20Fine.
14:22Steve will take that.
14:23I trust you completely, Steve.
14:26We all trust Steve.
14:28You are going on tour.
14:30Yes, ma'am.
14:30You're going to start in Wolverhampton.
14:32Oh, I love the Hamptons.
14:36I'm starting at the Hamptons.
14:37I feel going to love the Hamptons.
14:39You know, this was all arranged, you know, for us.
14:43I don't, I don't know anything about...
14:44How many, how many gigs, how many towns are you doing?
14:47We're doing a bunch.
14:47They're doing a few.
14:48You know, we've been to Glastonbury in several, you know, the last several years,
14:51and Ronnie Scott, so we've played all over the place.
14:54Would you like to know more about Wolverhampton?
14:56Maybe the eateries you should go to, if there's a statue, a small aquarium.
15:01I believe Corey is here.
15:02Hello.
15:03Hi, Corey.
15:04Hello.
15:05You, you've been to Wolverhampton.
15:06I am from Wolverhampton.
15:07OK, so Geoff's there for a couple of days.
15:10Let's give him a full schedule.
15:11I'd like it laminated.
15:12Where should he go?
15:14Geoff, what you should do is you should get off the train in Wolverhampton,
15:18immediately get back on, and leave Wolverhampton.
15:21No!
15:23No!
15:23No!
15:25No!
15:25No!
15:26Where is it?
15:27Where is it?
15:27I have no idea.
15:29Yes, yes, not far.
15:30A couple of hours.
15:31OK.
15:32Is there somewhere delicious?
15:33No, it's great.
15:34Wolverhampton's absolutely great.
15:35We have, uh, we have a Nando's.
15:37Oh, what?
15:38A Nando's.
15:39It's a chicken restaurant.
15:40It's a chicken place.
15:41But being on tour, there's always something to do.
15:43Well, yes.
15:44I love going round Britain on tour.
15:47Always a little museum.
15:49There's a pencil museum.
15:50Yes!
15:52I'm very interested in pencils.
15:53What do you mean?
15:55I love pencils.
15:56There's a lot of shop mannequins dressed up.
15:58What's your pencil of choice number?
16:00What is it?
16:00I used to, I used to, once I go to my criminal period, when I was eight or nine.
16:07Fine.
16:07I stole other kids' pencils.
16:09We had those desks that went like that.
16:11Yes.
16:11You know, when everybody was going out in a line, I'd be the last one and I'd wake behind
16:15and I'd open up desks and I'd steal their pencils.
16:18I hoarded and collected pencils until one day somebody went, Geoffrey has all our pencils.
16:24And then it was very embarrassing.
16:25And I'm cured.
16:26I'm a very honest, honest, no stealing.
16:29Because the way your face lit up at the sound of a pencil museum...
16:33I hope there is a pencil museum now.
16:36I've said it.
16:36Do you like a classic HB?
16:39Do you like ones that you can...
16:40No, I don't like a mechanical pencil.
16:43I apologise.
16:43I'm very particular with my ballpoint pen.
16:46Can I throw this into the mix?
16:48What?
16:49Because this is going to blow your mind.
16:50There is a woman here in this room who designs pencils.
16:56No way!
16:57Correct!
16:58I'm getting goosebumps.
16:59I'm telling you.
17:00You're getting goosebumps?
17:01Yes.
17:02I'm dying.
17:03Who designs pencils?
17:04So, Amy, are you here?
17:06Yes.
17:06Amy, tell me what you do with pencils and, and stationary all round.
17:12So, I develop new types of pencils.
17:15Develop new types of pencils?
17:17Do you?
17:18Because we don't want to upset him because he's our very special guest.
17:21Do you do the pencils?
17:24We have one.
17:25Yes.
17:26Well, I'm open-minded but I don't like them.
17:30What's the best thing, if that's not too much pressure, that you have ever designed?
17:35So, our best pencil is the drawing pencil, which has the creamiest...
17:41Oh, it's creamy?
17:43It's the creamiest pencil and has the widest core.
17:46Does that mean the lead that goes through it?
17:49Yes.
17:50Is there a pencil museum?
17:51Because did I make it up?
17:52There is.
17:53It's in the Lake District.
17:54Lake District?
17:55Are you going to the Lake District?
17:56We are now.
17:59I'm going.
18:00Amazing.
18:01You have to.
18:02You're definitely going.
18:04Amy, how brilliant you're here.
18:06Let's have a round of applause for Amy.
18:08Oh, I know.
18:09Can I say...
18:09You know what you remind me of the other...
18:11The touring around England in plays, you all know that play, I'm sure, The Dresser.
18:17Oh, yes.
18:18Lovely play.
18:20Great.
18:20Courtney did it.
18:21Yeah.
18:22And then Anthony Hopkins and Ian McKellen redid it in a remake.
18:25Ian McKellen made me eggs.
18:27What?
18:28Oh, wow.
18:29Scramble?
18:30Yes, I was going to scramble.
18:31I was going to scramble.
18:32A little salmon on the side, yes, some toast.
18:35Toast?
18:36Lovely.
18:37Sit down or...
18:39Did you get a seat?
18:40No, sit down.
18:40Sit down.
18:41Bar stool or chair?
18:45Bar stool or chair?
18:46Yeah.
18:46Just the two of you, just the two.
18:47No, no, no.
18:48It was a group of people.
18:49Gosh, did you do all the eggs at once or did you do them personally?
18:52Personally.
18:53Personally.
18:53That's very bespoke.
18:55Bespoke eggs.
18:56Personally.
18:56I tell you, that's how you get the night.
18:58And then you plate them and everything was scrambled.
19:00I had scrambled eggs and smoked salmon this morning.
19:02Yeah.
19:02Oh, thanks.
19:03And toast.
19:04Guys, about two hours ago we started talking about night blooms.
19:08Yes.
19:08And I would just like to lift this up and say, when is it out?
19:12June 5th.
19:13There we go.
19:13Wow.
19:14Night blooms.
19:17Brilliant, Jeff.
19:18No, you are amazing.
19:21Um, Jennifer, we have to talk about your film, The Magic Far Await.
19:24Well, you're saying my film, I'm in the film.
19:27No, it's your film.
19:28OK.
19:29Let's have a clip.
19:30It's just like you said, it's enchanted and wonderful.
19:34Dad and I just felt like a place like this will bring us all back together again.
19:38Grandma.
19:39I will get them back to the city if it is the last thing I do.
19:42Sorry, guys.
19:44Better start packing.
19:46You wished across the lands to locate a spell to save your house from your evil grandma.
19:54We know all of this.
19:56You know all that because we just told you it.
19:58All right.
19:59No need to get shirty.
20:03Jennifer.
20:04Oh, it's just a lovely film.
20:08How much fun was it to me?
20:10Just so much fun.
20:11Gone.
20:12A great wig.
20:13I was going to say your hair was going to tear away.
20:14A really good wig.
20:15Who do we just have?
20:16A look at Frida.
20:17Oh, my God.
20:18Look at this.
20:18Look at this wig.
20:19Look at that.
20:20There she is.
20:21That's the hair I want.
20:22I love the fact that we're flacking.
20:24I want that hair.
20:25You don't see only nothing.
20:27No.
20:27You see nothing.
20:27It's so thick and it just stays in that shape.
20:31I love it.
20:32Because now, you see, this is Sven.
20:34Mm-hmm.
20:34Most of this is...
20:35Most of a sort of a nun's hair has been woven into, in sort of extensions that are...
20:41You know nuns sell their hair and they get made into extensions.
20:44They do!
20:47They really?
20:48Yeah.
20:49They said what for money?
20:50None sell their hair, don't they?
20:53I'm just agreeing because it's Jennifer.
20:54Whatever she said.
20:56But I love the accent.
20:58I love everything about Frida.
21:00Yes, Frida.
21:00How did she...
21:01How was she created?
21:02Because I thought it was a small part.
21:04I wouldn't have to do very much.
21:05But they said, will you come in for rehearsal?
21:06And I went, yeah, of course.
21:07And it was with Andrew Garfield and Claire Foy and the children.
21:11And I thought, this is quite...
21:14It's big time, you know, because you've sort of been grappled into this big movie.
21:19And I thought, I'd better try hard.
21:22But I had no idea what was going to come out of my mouth when I first opened my mouth.
21:26And I thought, you know, I might go a little bit Danish because I can make...
21:31Because I can make the Danish noises.
21:34Do you know the ticket?
21:35Yes.
21:37It's almost fluent.
21:38Yes.
21:43So I put a little inflection of Danish into when I read the part.
21:48And when we'd finished, they went, we love the German.
21:50And I went...
21:51LAUGHTER
21:52No.
21:53I said, it was sort of more...
21:55No, German's good.
21:56German's good.
21:56I thought, damn.
21:57I had to do the whole...
21:59I had to learn a German accent then and do the whole thing in German.
22:02But it gave me the character.
22:04Yes.
22:04It was lovely.
22:05So lovely.
22:05You guys are so good at accents.
22:07The preparedness that you've been given in schools is amazing.
22:12And you have to show up for...
22:14You say what?
22:15I'm not trained.
22:16You're not trained?
22:18It's extraordinary.
22:19I mean, they can throw on an American accent immediately and, like, refine it.
22:23So it's Midwestern, there's a New York, what time period is, but also do all these other ones.
22:28It's really...
22:29I'm very impressed.
22:30I admire that.
22:30Terrifically, too.
22:31I admire it.
22:32Terrifically.
22:33You're a great artist.
22:33I'm a very good artist.
22:35You are.
22:36Can you do a London accent?
22:38Not really.
22:40What?
22:40Oh!
22:41Wow!
22:45I want to talk more about this one because the location is so beautiful.
22:50Tell me you were somewhere lovely.
22:52We were in a very lovely part of the countryside.
22:54Yeah.
22:54Um, and near a wood, near a wood, because it is called the Magic Faraway Tree.
23:00Yes.
23:00It is about a tree that's magic and very far away.
23:03Um...
23:03You don't know where it was, do you?
23:04I don't know where it was.
23:06I think it was in a studio, but there we are.
23:09Never mind.
23:10It's very lovely.
23:13There is somebody here, because I believe you also have a place in the countryside.
23:17Yes.
23:17There is somebody who lives, I think, in your neck of the woods.
23:20Oh, gosh.
23:21Is that scary?
23:22Slightly.
23:24Go on, go on.
23:25They do something rather magical.
23:26Is it in my hood?
23:27It's...
23:27I believe it is in your hood.
23:30OK.
23:30Anna, hello.
23:32What have you done this week?
23:33Yeah.
23:33So, my neighbours and I have been helping toads cross the road to prevent them getting squashed
23:37by the cars as they're migrating to their pond to breed.
23:40Wow.
23:41And we've had...
23:42I think we've helped about a thousand toads in the last few weeks.
23:45A thousand toads.
23:48A thousand toads.
23:48A thousand toads.
23:49A thousand toads.
23:51Wow.
23:51Are you...
23:52Are you...
23:54Is it like directing?
23:56Like...
23:56Like signs?
23:58No signposts.
23:59No signposts.
24:00So, I have my head torch and my gloves and a bucket, and we pick them up off the road,
24:05we put them in the bucket, and we help them to get to the gate near the pond, so they're
24:10not going
24:10to be on the road.
24:11Have you thought about building, I don't know, a tunnel?
24:15Do they say...
24:16I know this is a word question, but I've committed to it.
24:19Do they say thank you?
24:21No, but they have the most beautiful little chirping sound.
24:25You can hear them when it's a really quiet evening.
24:28You can hear them kind of chirping, chirping, chirping in the pond, and they're really amazing.
24:32They're very sweet.
24:33Very, very good.
24:34Hey...
24:39Do you know the end of that P.T. Anderson movie who did this year's One Battle After Another?
24:43Oh, yeah, I know.
24:45Yeah, of course.
24:46Magnolia.
24:47Magnolia, where all the toads or frogs fall from the sky.
24:51Spoiler alert, Jeff.
24:52Spoiler alert.
24:53That happens right at the end.
24:55Steve, Steve, if you feel cut that into...
24:59I love it!
25:03If you could save one animal...
25:05Oh.
25:06What would it be?
25:07I would save a horse.
25:09Would you?
25:09Yes, well I'd need the hair for my extensions.
25:11I'd have to be chopping off...
25:14Yes, I think for the hair, because...
25:16For the hooves.
25:17Yeah.
25:18For the mental health.
25:23What would you say, Tom?
25:25You know what?
25:25None of them.
25:26I think...
25:27You know, people say, oh, it's so relaxing to go and spend time in nature.
25:32When you look closely, all they're doing is eating each other.
25:36It's disgusting.
25:37You watch those David Attenborough films.
25:39Horrifying.
25:40People love it, don't they?
25:41Put it on while they're having their tea.
25:43A lion ripping a gazelle to shreds.
25:47You know, they fall asleep while they're watching a dolphin drown a whale.
25:53Horrible.
25:54Why would you save any of them?
25:55I think the sooner we get rid of them, the better.
26:02I just think, you know...
26:03Yeah, yeah.
26:05It's a different view.
26:06And I think that's what this show is about.
26:08Correct.
26:10It's like question time, but for drunk celebrities.
26:16OK, Jennifer, when can we see The Magic Faraway Tree?
26:20I think it's out on March the 27th.
26:23Correct.
26:23Yes.
26:24We can't wait.
26:24We'll all go.
26:24A blue pattern.
26:27A blue pattern.
26:30Vanessa, I have to talk to you about The Devil Wears Prada.
26:34I went on Friday, every seat is full and they are screaming.
26:38And when you come up, the most beautiful thing, people are like...
26:42I was sitting next to somebody who was like in tears, screaming, standing up.
26:47It's a thing.
26:48It's like a rock concert.
26:50Describe the show just for anyone who doesn't know.
26:52Well, there's a young girl named Andy Sachs who is a journalist based on a true story.
26:58And she lives in New York.
27:00She applies for a job at Runway Magazine, which is a very famous fashion magazine, a.k.a. Vogue.
27:07And she has no idea who Miranda Priestly is, nor her reputation.
27:11And she gets the job as the assistant.
27:14And now they're doing a sequel to the movie.
27:16I know.
27:17Who knows what's going to happen this time.
27:19There's much excitement.
27:21Let's have a clip of The Devil Wears Prada starring.
27:25Oh, my God.
27:26What if I don't want this life?
27:28Everybody wants to be us.
27:30The Devil Wears Prada.
27:36The Devil Wears Prada.
27:40The Devil Wears Prada.
27:41The Devil Wears Prada.
27:45The Devil Wears Prada.
27:47The Devil Wears Prada.
27:47That's all.
27:50Wow.
27:51Wow.
27:51Wow.
27:53What a fun role to play.
27:55You must love it.
27:56It's fun.
27:57I can show up and be in a bad mood and not care
28:00because I can just be miserable the whole time.
28:02Yeah.
28:02And it doesn't matter.
28:03It just makes the world better.
28:04But, you know, I have to say, it's...
28:07I love this country and I got a chance to meet the king.
28:11Like, you know, I've done things not just as a tourist
28:15and not just as a working actor, but these extraordinary experiences.
28:19You know, I did the Royal Variety Show.
28:21I mean, it's been...it's been heaven.
28:24How much fun was it working with Elton?
28:26Oh, my God.
28:27I mean, not only is he a legend and, you know, growing up,
28:31listening to his music and going to his house in Windsor.
28:33Stop.
28:33Again, another opportunity that, you know,
28:36a normal tourist would never get.
28:38You know, tons of fresh...
28:43You are living the life.
28:45He's so honest.
28:47That's what I love about him.
28:48He's so frank.
28:49And the first time I met him, we were doing the workshop
28:52in January 2024.
28:54And he had just had his first knee surgery.
28:57And I walked into the rehearsal room
28:59and his sweats were down by his ankles
29:02and he was showing everybody his scar,
29:04but all I saw was his bum.
29:05I was like, OK, good.
29:06Yeah.
29:07We're going to be friends.
29:09What about the dressing rooms?
29:11The difference between Broadway, if you like, and the West End?
29:13On Broadway, you can choose your...
29:16Europe.
29:16Well, you can choose your paint colour and...
29:18Rub colour.
29:19Stop.
29:20Yeah, yeah, yeah.
29:21Dark teal.
29:23Trudy.
29:24Yes.
29:27Is that coffee?
29:28Mocha?
29:28Mocha?
29:29I don't like colours being called after drinks.
29:34It's Trudy.
29:35It's hard work, isn't it?
29:37Trudy.
29:37Should we give Trudy a drink?
29:39I'm quite frightened of Trudy now.
29:41It's not a good, nice cognac.
29:42Well, cognac's beautiful to drink, obviously.
29:45But, you know, we just had an old-fashioned before we came on.
29:49Ah!
29:49Good God!
29:50Good God!
29:52Um, this is what I love, Vanessa.
29:55I'm just sharing this with the group.
29:56You have something rather special on your rider.
29:59And it is a dog.
30:01Now, I agree.
30:02When you look at Vanessa, beautiful,
30:05like, sort of, absolutely gorgeous, that bone structure,
30:07you think, small, little, like a powder puff of a dog.
30:11On top of a cushion.
30:13Yeah?
30:14Ladies and gentlemen, meet Roscoe.
30:16Yeah!
30:17Oh, wow!
30:18Wow!
30:19There he is!
30:20Roscoe.
30:21Is that a great Dane?
30:22Yeah.
30:23He is so beautiful.
30:25And he comes to every show.
30:29Yeah, he's got his giant bed next to my...
30:31Look at him!
30:33He's amazing!
30:34He's enormous!
30:35He's a great Dane?
30:36He's a great Dane.
30:36I had a great Dane.
30:38What?
30:38Can't remember his name.
30:39But, uh...
30:41OK.
30:42It's a joke.
30:44It's a proper joke.
30:44Let's go.
30:45What's his name?
30:46Roscoe.
30:47Like, Roscoe Chicken and Waffles.
30:48I love Roscoe Chicken and Waffles.
30:50Roscoe Chicken and Waffles.
30:50Roscoe Lee Brown.
30:51You didn't know Roscoe Lee Brown, did you?
30:53I know who he was, but it wasn't...
30:55What's going on?
30:56I don't know.
30:56It's not Roscoe Lee Brown.
30:57I don't know.
30:58An Anford Wilson played.
30:59I want my ham.
31:01I want my ham.
31:02Two trains running.
31:03I saw Roscoe Lee Brown.
31:05Anyway.
31:05It does feel sometimes like I'm in a nursing home.
31:12I'm joking.
31:13I'm joking.
31:14I'm joking.
31:15I'm joking.
31:17I'm joking.
31:19There were a few moments when there was this talk of this Roscoe fellow that nobody knew,
31:22except you guys knew him very well.
31:24Chicken and Waffles and the dog and the bit of the cognac.
31:30Gosh, I'm older than I realise.
31:34So, to be clear, you have Roscoe, you have Woody, you love your dog.
31:38We have Woody.
31:39We have three dogs.
31:40You have a dog?
31:41Of course I have a dog.
31:43And you have a dog.
31:43I breastfeed him.
31:44No.
31:45Now, I do.
31:48Tom, you, I believe, you're on the fence regarding a dog.
31:51I would love a dog, but I worry about having a dog because I'm away.
31:54a lot and they're obviously a big responsibility, but I would like a dog.
31:58Shall we tip the scales?
32:00Yeah, I'd like that.
32:01Are you ready to meet a dog?
32:02Oh, my God.
32:04Please welcome Percy.
32:07Oh, my God.
32:09No way.
32:11Come on, Percy.
32:12Come on, Percy.
32:13Come on.
32:13Oh, my God.
32:14Oh, Percy.
32:16This is Heather who owns Percy.
32:18Look, how can you not?
32:20I will.
32:22What do you think?
32:23I love him.
32:24I gave him a biscuit so he's happy.
32:27Look, Percy loves you.
32:29Hang on.
32:29I feel like this isn't fair.
32:30You've got treats for him.
32:32He's never got...
32:33Oh, Percy.
32:34Would you like a little treat?
32:36Lively.
32:36Would you like a little treat?
32:37Come on, then.
32:37Come on.
32:38Sit on.
32:39This is Tom.
32:40He's more interested in you.
32:41This is the story of my life.
32:42I mean, he's just got to find the dog.
32:44Come on.
32:45Seven.
32:46He's seven.
32:47Look, he's taken to you.
32:49Look at that.
32:49Oh, hi.
32:51You're a good boy.
32:52I love that.
32:53You want to go and live with me?
32:54You want to come and live with me?
32:55You can have a dog like that.
32:57I don't know whether you can take this dog.
32:59He's your dog.
33:00He's your dog.
33:01OK, he needs to leave.
33:02Thank you so much.
33:03Thank you, Percy.
33:04Hi, Percy.
33:06Yes, you're right.
33:07Hi, Percy.
33:08You got attached to it already.
33:10What do you think?
33:11I mean, I don't think he actually like me that much.
33:13Don't take it on lightly unless you can commit to a lifelong
33:17responsibility.
33:18You're right.
33:19And I spend a lot of money on furniture.
33:21So will they...
33:21I don't want them weeing up against it.
33:24Thank you so much.
33:25So, Vanessa, Devil Wears Prada is on until when?
33:29And where, please?
33:30We are at the Dominion Theatre.
33:32I am going to be there till October 17th.
33:35And the show will run definitely until next year.
33:38OK.
33:46I commit right now to attend every show until you're out of it.
33:50I'm going to be at every show.
33:51When you're not in Wolverhampton, having a chicken wrap.
33:55Tom, you are going to musical theatre.
33:57You're about to star in Titanic.
33:59Yes.
34:00Indeed.
34:00And I'm very...
34:02There we go.
34:04About to set sail.
34:05It is...
34:07Tell us all about it.
34:08Well, it is the most extraordinary show.
34:11I saw it when it first opened over here.
34:13It started in America.
34:14It's like the most ridiculous retelling of the film Titanic.
34:18And it's as though Celine Dion was actually on board the ship of dreams
34:23and she got drunk and this is how she remembers the story of Titanic.
34:27And it's told through her songs.
34:28So, Celine Dion is the narrator in the show.
34:32So that's kind of bonkers enough as it is.
34:34And then added on to that is you've got people like me who play,
34:38you know, Rose, the Kate Winslet character.
34:41Her mother is Ruth and that's played by me.
34:43So...
34:44And not really in period dress at all.
34:47Just have an Alice band on with some birds attached to it.
34:49Don't ask why, just enjoy it.
34:51And it's just such bonkers fun.
34:53We're all coming.
34:54Well, I think you would all love it.
34:56I think there's something about it that's just kind of out of this world.
34:59It's just joy.
34:59Just joy for a couple of hours.
35:01Can't wait.
35:01Where's it on?
35:02It's on at the Criterion Theatre and I'm in it until the 12th of April,
35:07but it's booking through until June.
35:10We can't wait to sit.
35:11Thank you, one person.
35:14Please come on.
35:17Tom, is it true that your theatre is haunted?
35:21Well, they say there's a man in the circle who sometimes walks across
35:24and I thought I saw him, but it turned out it was just the lighting man.
35:29I think there are stories about him, but the more you look for him,
35:33I think the less he's going to appear, right?
35:35It's like a husband, isn't it?
35:38Yeah, there's supposed to be one in the Dominion.
35:40Her name is Eleanor.
35:42She was like 10 years old.
35:44And there used to be some giant beer vat
35:47or some kind of brewery in the bottom and there was an explosion
35:50and beer apparently flooded that whole Tottenham Court area.
35:55No.
35:55And this was a young girl that died in this flood of beer
35:59and she is a 10-year-old girl.
36:02Drunk. Absolute drunk.
36:05Stumbling to the hallway.
36:06Stumbling around.
36:09The Drury Lane Theatre used to be just the bottom half of a man
36:14sitting in a seat sometimes.
36:16Yes.
36:17Would you like to chat to somebody who converses with ghosts?
36:20Yes.
36:21Yes.
36:22Maxine.
36:23Hello.
36:24Hello.
36:25What is your advice to Tom?
36:28He's going to be performing, singing.
36:30He looks up to the circle.
36:32Should he bow?
36:33What happens when you see?
36:35When you see them.
36:35I think if you want to see this ghost, you can ask.
36:40I mean, they will reveal themselves to you.
36:43What do you mean?
36:43Spirit, if you ask.
36:44When you say reveal themselves.
36:46As in show.
36:48As in show their spirit body.
36:52Oh my goodness.
36:53Should I be on my own when I ask or?
36:56Well, I don't think that matters really.
36:58It doesn't matter.
36:58It doesn't matter.
36:59I just think the cleaner is sometimes there.
37:01Great.
37:03How brave are you feeling?
37:04Are you happy to see them if they appear in front of you?
37:07Well, I suppose, how do you know if they're a malevolent spirit?
37:10Or a happy spirit?
37:11Well, you know, you're a good chap, aren't you?
37:13I mean, generally.
37:13You'd be really bitchy about your performance.
37:15Yeah, like, oh, bitchy!
37:18If you're the kind of person that's not got a good energy yourself,
37:23you know, you're kind of an evil person.
37:25You're acting in...
37:26No, no, he's very charming.
37:27No, I know, I know.
37:28But if you were, you can then attract beings that aren't so nice.
37:33Well, it seems like a lot of pressure now.
37:35Yeah.
37:37Will you let us know, please?
37:39Well, I will.
37:39But not if it's a bad spirit.
37:41It'll reflect terribly badly on me.
37:44It'll be like a parent, a parent's evening.
37:46Like, I did my best!
37:49When was the last time you spoke to a spirit?
37:52Um, yesterday.
37:54I did a reading for somebody and I see them and they talk to me.
37:58Wow.
37:58Is there anyone here?
38:00I'm not working right now and I think that's the misconception.
38:03Oh, I like the way you just clock on and clock on.
38:05I know!
38:06There you go.
38:07Thank you, Maxine.
38:12Let's hear it for Maxine.
38:13Fantastic.
38:14Do you like that movie called...
38:15It's a union thing.
38:17I get it.
38:17It's a union thing.
38:18It's a union thing.
38:19It's a union thing.
38:19Hey, you know, in this light, you turned it to an angle.
38:22You know who you look like?
38:23Go on.
38:24Go on.
38:24Very young, handsome John Travolta.
38:26Yes.
38:27Correct.
38:28Correct!
38:29Wow.
38:31Correct!
38:31Until I was just sitting here a moment ago when you were talking to the spirit lady.
38:35Yes.
38:36Oh, my goodness.
38:36And I was possessed by the spirit of John Travolta since he shaved his head.
38:43Tom, you have also written a very brilliant book.
38:46Oh.
38:47It's a novel.
38:48Your first novel.
38:49My first novel, yes.
38:50Common Decency.
38:51Tell us all about it, please.
38:53Well, I've written two non-fiction books about myself, and this is the first time I've created
38:57a world and some characters to inhabit it.
39:00And I wanted to write about suburbia, because I think it's a sort of boring place that everybody
39:05ignores, but actually I've realised that's where all drama happens.
39:09But it's about the sort of secrets and lies that exist in our kind of otherwise quite mundane
39:14lives.
39:14So I wanted to...
39:15I like the idea of kind of...
39:17Well, I live in suburbia now.
39:18I live in Bromley, which is kind of archetypally suburban.
39:20And I like...
39:21And I'm on a WhatsApp group, and I've come to love all those trappings of, you know,
39:25people on...
39:25Do you have a WhatsApp group, you know, with your neighbours?
39:27Oh, where they all like...
39:28Yeah.
39:28You know, it's supposed to be to help your neighbours, but it's just, you know, a load
39:31of, you know, idiots shouting nonsense into the wind.
39:34And how often do you ever post?
39:37No, I just like to watch it.
39:38The only time I like it is when people say they're putting out furniture on their driveway,
39:42something which I like to call street tapas.
39:47I love that!
39:48I like...
39:51You know, but I like the sort of community aspect of it.
39:54Yeah.
39:54I've always enjoyed that kind of thing of it all.
39:57I'm loving your face, James.
39:59Oh, you love to run over those toads.
40:04You put your foot down.
40:07Do you do WhatsApp groups?
40:09I...
40:09I can't...
40:11WhatsApp groups are the bane of my life.
40:13Really?
40:14I can't bear them.
40:14Can you like...
40:15Do you like a WhatsApp group?
40:16I like one of the family...
40:17I like this one just...
40:19My family is enough.
40:20But then when they start having private conversations within the WhatsApp group...
40:24Disgusting.
40:25You then get a ping and it's just a fucking emoji.
40:28I just can't bear them.
40:31Yeah.
40:32Unless it's family.
40:33Family is fine.
40:33Family is fine.
40:34And if it's...
40:35If you've got one thing, like it's a holiday or something,
40:37it's perfect.
40:38And then it's got its purpose, but don't mince about within it.
40:41Fine.
40:42Keep it strict.
40:44Fine.
40:44I like it.
40:47There's a character in your book that I love called Miranda.
40:53Oh, yes.
40:53Well, I've tried to write about different generations as well because,
40:56again, I like the way that people mix in the best parts of suburbia.
41:01And Miranda is somebody whose true past isn't really known.
41:05However, she is somebody who, even though she's in her 80s,
41:09wants to experience all of life.
41:10She's had a bucket list and now she has a different sort of list.
41:13You can say it.
41:14Her fuck it list.
41:15Oh.
41:15And that includes things like taking acid.
41:18Because I just sort of think if I make it to an old age,
41:22rather than sort of going out with a whimper,
41:24wouldn't it be great to experience acid?
41:28Or to try all those things you never thought you could try before?
41:31Why not?
41:32Dawn and I, my friend Dawn French and I,
41:34once thought we'd be really daring and we got an ecstasy tablet.
41:38Oh, good to me.
41:39And we thought we could take...
41:41Well, I think it was something with a rabbit on it.
41:43It was about that big.
41:45And we thought, one day, I said, well, be alone.
41:48And then it became such a matter of planning as to when we could
41:52take half an ecstasy tablet.
41:56And so we kept it and kept it on Dawn's mantelpiece like that.
42:00And then one day, this is about six months later,
42:02and we've gone, OK, we're ready.
42:04We had water.
42:06We didn't know what to expect at all.
42:09The pill had gone.
42:10No.
42:13Your dog was looking lively that day.
42:17And it was quite a relief.
42:19Thank goodness.
42:19Thank God we don't do that anymore.
42:21No drugs for us.
42:22The dog was out in the garden jumping up and down.
42:26Having sex with the dragon.
42:29This brilliant book is out when, please?
42:31It's out on the 21st of May and you can pre-order it right now.
42:35Am I allowed to give this to Jeff?
42:36I won't keep it.
42:37I'm not keeping it.
42:38I'd like to have a coffee.
42:39Really?
42:40Here, tell me when to stop.
42:41Uh, there.
42:43Left or right?
42:44Left.
42:45Uh, tell me when to stop.
42:47No.
42:48Uh, we all need to discuss the planning application, of course.
42:53Interrupted Donald.
42:54I assume that's what this is all about.
42:56We are going to need to take action if the rumours are true
42:58about changing the area.
43:00I love it.
43:01There you go!
43:04There are definitely moments of exposition.
43:06You have to realise that you have to cover it.
43:08Right.
43:09That is it.
43:11I just want to check, do you feel like you've covered everything?
43:14Is there anything you want to sell a bit harder?
43:18I don't want to sell anything more, but I have not covered even the tip of the iceberg.
43:23No.
43:24Jeff, I've got to go night-night.
43:26I never thought I'd say that to a guest.
43:28I've got to go night on another occasion.
43:30Because my curiosity has been inflamed.
43:32This is amazing.
43:33By this audience, by you, and by this group.
43:36My God.
43:37Tom.
43:37Anything else?
43:38I went to buy rotisserie chicken yesterday for lunch, and they'd sold out before lunchtime.
43:46Who is having a rotisserie chicken for breakfast?
43:49Some people are perverts.
43:52Well, thank you all.
43:53We are so grateful.
43:55We are off to eat salami.
43:57Happy with that?
43:58Yeah.
43:58Good.
43:59I would like to thank my utterly brilliant guests.
44:02Tom Allen.
44:04Vanessa Williams.
44:07Jennifer Saunders.
44:09And Jeff Goldblum.
44:13We are back next week, and I'll be joined by Joanne McNally, Gus Khan and Niall Horan.
44:19Thank you so much for watching.
44:21Good night.
44:26The makeover challenge goes Olympic.
44:29RuPaul's Drag Race UK versus The World next on BBC One.
44:33And it's all about sisterhood in their chaotic family.
44:36Meet the Walsh sisters on BBC iPlayer.
44:38Press red now.
44:40Hello.
44:45Thanks.
44:47Thanks for watching.
44:48Bye.
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