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00:05my mom called me a liar from the day i was born not because i actually lied but because of
00:10this
00:10thing around my neck the verity choker mom was luna of silver moon pack and she believed one
00:15thing above all lying was the mark of a weak wolf we were her daughters future alpha heirs
00:21weakness was not an option so when my twin sister emma and i were born mom clasped these chokers
00:27around our throats which had witch magic to detect lies green light means truth red light means you
00:33were lying emma's choker always green she could shred mom's ceremonial cloak and blame the cat
00:39and gem would glow a steady green not me green light believed me mom i'm hungry and flash red
00:49light the choker choked tight i shifted on instinct a small white wolf pawing desperately at the gem
00:55around on my neck claws scraping against it unable to get it off i'm not lying not lying please but
01:02mom's eyes had already gone cold instant punishment mom's punishment wasn't gentle no food locked in
01:09my room no contact with anyone in the pack the truth necklace doesn't lie stella starve now study
01:15later i'm doing this for your own good after 10 years of this i started believing it too maybe i
01:22really was born wrong new year's eve everything changed mom was getting ready to take emma to the
01:27pack's bonfire celebration and that's when the pain hit like a knife twisting in my gut i collapsed on
01:34the floor my skeletal frame curling into itself mom please the choker flashed red and choked tight
01:42she looked down at me disgusted in her eyes in your dream stella faking an illness to ruin our night
01:50she grabbed emma's hand and headed for the door i wanted to howl but my wolf was too weak to
01:55answer
01:55i shifted anyway forced it a small white wolf trembling on the floor ribs heaving maybe in this
02:02form the pain would hurt less it didn't i couldn't even hold the shift i slipped back into myself without
02:09meaning to sorry mom i won't lie anymore but the pain got worse way worse the door handle turned for
02:15one second i thought mom's coming back she came back for me hurry up the bonfire is starting emma's
02:23waiting mom i reached out with a shaking hand please something's really wrong i feel like i'm dying
02:29she glanced at my neck the gem was flashing red over and over she crouched down grabbed my chin
02:36stella how long are you gonna keep this up can't you just be honest and stay here and think about
02:43what you've done dad appeared in the doorway honey should we at least leave her some food
02:50food she has a stash of snacks she bought with stolen money she won't starve lock the door
02:56when that gem turns green we'll talk but but what it's because you spoil her that she turned out this
03:05way look at emma her gem has always been green stella is a liar an alpha heiress who can't tell
03:13the
03:13truth she needs discipline but my cabinet was empty emma stole that money emma ate those snacks emma just
03:21stood there with her glowing green gem saying not me and mom believed her i tried to defend myself
03:28it wasn't me red light the choker choked tight i tried to shift nothing happened deep inside my wolf
03:37barely stirred mom locked me up for three days with nothing but water and stale bread mom turned to leave
03:44emma peeked through the door made a face at me bye sis we're gonna see the bonfire
03:49her gem glowed a steady green so pretty the door locked the house went silent i called my wolf
03:57nothing came back not even a whisper just me alone the pain was unbearable but i kept thinking mom's
04:07right the gem doesn't lie it's red so i must be lying i'm not in pain i'm not in pain
04:15i'm not
04:17in pain i kept repeating it like a prayer eventually i almost believed it the pain
04:24dulled or maybe i was just going numb i crawled to my desk i had to write that was the
04:31rule
04:32if the gem glowed red i had to pen a thousand word apology or mom would never let me out
04:39i am a liar
04:40write it down and maybe mom would forgive me maybe she'd even let me out i opened my journal
04:48pages and pages of apologies i'd written over the years sorry i lied i won't do it again but this
04:55time
04:56i wanted to write the truth my vision blurred my hand shook as i wrote mom i really love you
05:04it really hurts why won't you believe me please believe me just once the moment i finished the
05:12last word the pain vanished just gone i felt light weightless i looked down i was floating and there
05:23slumped over the desk was my body motionless the gem still flashing red around a dead girl's neck
05:30oh i'm dead and then she came out my wolf stepping out of my body like she'd been waiting
05:38all along small skinny barely holding together she looked up at me and once soft and low in the
05:48pack's old stories they say when a wolf dies young her spirit doesn't cross over alone her wolf walks
05:55beside her until they find the door together i knelt down she pressed her nose into my ghostly palm
06:02finally we were together now but i never learned how to be honest sorry mom i heard laughter mom dad
06:11emma coming through the front door tonight's bonfire was beautiful the best one yet just like our emma
06:20perfect in every way i'd never heard her sound like that when she talked about me i floated toward
06:26them my wolf patting silently at my side moving on instinct i wanted to help them take off their
06:32cloaks that's what i always did mom my arms passed right through her body like wind why is it so
06:39cold
06:40here is the hearthi out i stood there staring at my transparent hands my wolf pressed against my leg
06:47and looked up at me with sad eyes right dead wolves couldn't hug the living shall we go and see
06:53stella she hasn't eaten yet still the good cop i looked at mom hopefully if she found me dead would
07:00she be sad would she regret it she won't starve she is a werewolf not a human pup this whole
07:10fake sick
07:10for attention thing is out of control i laughed bitterly mom wasn't wrong werewolves heal but i
07:18hadn't been able to in a long time last winter the choker left bruises that stayed for days that
07:24hadn't happened before i reached for my wolf she was still there but the warmth never came
07:29she was too hungry just like me mom never noticed
07:35she only ever looked at my neck for one thing the gem and whether it was red or green mom
07:41pushed
07:42open my door didn't even turn on the light just for a second her eyes flashed gold her wolf might
07:48have known mom didn't listen in the dim glow from the hallway she saw me slumped over my desk
07:54i looked like a skeleton hadn't moved still putting on an act you're 10 years old not five grow up
08:03mom
08:04i'm not playing i'm dead look at me touch me i'm freezing she couldn't hear me she only believed what
08:13she wanted to see emma squeezed past her held up her choker with that smug little grin look my gem
08:19is
08:20green stella's is still red she's lying even in her sleep that's my good girl ignore the liar
08:27let her stay there maybe she'll learn how to be honest should we at least put her in bed it's
08:34freezing put her in bed look at that red gem still lying come on leave her we have to visit
08:41grandma
08:41tomorrow the door locked again i floated next to my corpse my wolf curled silently at my feet
08:49staring at that single point of red light in the darkness mom if you just stepped closer if you
08:55just touched my hand you'd know i was ice cold but you didn't you believed the choker not the daughter
09:02you carried for nine months that night a rat crawled out of my empty cabinet i used to scream whenever
09:08i
09:08saw rats but now i just floated by the ceiling watching it scurry across my dead body the rat bit
09:15into my toe i didn't feel anything my wolf charged at it anyway and passed right through landing on the
09:22other side she turned back to look at me confused lost i pulled her close and buried my face in
09:29the
09:29fur of her back it's okay you can't feel it anymore it'll be over soon she let out one low
09:37growl then
09:38went still against me finally no more pain for either of us the next morning sunlight streamed
09:45through the window no warmth reached my body in the kitchen i could hear mom making breakfast the
09:51smell of roasted meat crept under my door my favorite but mom always said liars don't deserve
09:57meat so i only ever got steamed vegetables she was clanging the pots extra loud on purpose
10:03trying to tempt me out trying to make me give in and apologize for things i never did in the
10:09old
10:09days i might have caved i might have confessed to anything for one bite of roasted meat but i don't
10:16need food anymore stella still hasn't come out yet dad asked reading the pack notices she is so
10:23stubborn she can eat or not i don't care emma walked to my door and made a big show of
10:31sniffing the air
10:31then she screamed dramatically mom stella's room smells like poop did she poop in there i floated by
10:41the door watching my sister with a bitter smile my wolf sat beside me ears flat eyes low the hearth
10:49was burning hot after just one night my body started to rot mom stormed over pounding on the door
11:03i remembered being six i had food poisoning couldn't make it to the toilet in time
11:09mom didn't help me clean up she made me stand outside pointed at me and told the neighbors
11:15look at this she's such a mess she can't even use the toilet herself now she thought i was dirty
11:22again
11:22leave her let her sit in her own stink but dad stood up frowning that smells really bad i should
11:30check could it be a dead rat or something my heart if i still had one leapt dad please open
11:39the door
11:39i'm right here just turn the handle and you'll see i'm not moving i waved my transparent arms frantically
11:46my wolf ran straight to my bedroom door willing dad to open it dad's hand touched the door handle
11:54his hand froze someone was pounding at the front door a pack elder urgent business dad's face went
11:59pale he grabbed his cloak the border there's an emergency he was already out the door i froze
12:06so close one second away if that knock had come one second later i would have been found maybe then
12:13i wouldn't have rotted alone that afternoon mom took emma to the pack market the house was empty
12:18except for my corpse when they came back that evening loaded down with food and gifts from the
12:22market the smell had gotten worse mom gagged the second she walked in stella are you trying to turn
12:29this place into a den of inequity she didn't even open my door just grabbed cloth strips and sealed the
12:35gap at the bottom if you want to stay in there and make disgusting stew zoos don't stink up my
12:39house
12:40she patted her hands together satisfied then went to prepare dinner i stared at that sealed door
12:45my wolf pressed her nose against it and whimpered once so that's it i'm worth less than a venison
12:50dinner by day three even the cloth strips couldn't contain the smell mom was arranging fresh wildflowers
12:56trying to cover it up but the stench of death is unmistakable sweet rotten oily she cut a rose stem
13:03too hard a thorn pierced her hand she snapped in her mind i was doing this on purpose not
13:10bathing poop on the floor hiding dead rats in my room all to piss her off all to defy her
13:15authority
13:16as luna stella she grabbed a rolling pin from the kitchen stormed toward my room i'm done with you
13:23you disgusting little brat time you learned what real pain feels like i floated in front of her
13:29waving my arms desperately don't come in mom please please even though she never loved me i didn't want
13:38her to see me like that but she walked right through me ripped the cloth strips off jammed the spare
13:43key
13:44into the lock the door flew open the smell hit her like a wall she stumbled back retching stella what
13:51are
13:51you doing she saw me still slumped over the desk back turned not moving to her this was the ultimate
13:57rebellion i'm talking to you she marched over raised the rolling pin but stopped she wanted to see my
14:05face first wanted to see my get up she grabbed the back of my shirt grabbed my skin the moment
14:11she
14:11touched me she froze through the thin fabric her hand didn't feel warm flesh she felt cold hard dead meat
14:19the kind of cold that seeps into your bones what but momentum carried her forward she yanked crash
14:25my body stiff as a board toppled backward taking the chair with it and there was my face blue black
14:32eyes bulging features twisted in agony dried foam and blood crusted around my mouth around my blackened
14:38neck the verity choker hung lifeless the gem dark no red no green just silence my journal slid off the
14:47desk
14:47fell open at mom's feet the last page stared up at her mom my stomach really hurts the choker is
14:54wrong
14:54i'm not lying please don't punish me mom screamed not a wolf's howl a raw guttural shriek that tore
15:02through her throat she stumbled backward slammed into the bookshelf a clay pot shattered but she didn't
15:09seem to feel the pain she just stared at me eyes wide unblinking no no no no this is not
15:19real
15:19get up stella get up i'm not mad anymore stop scaring me her hand reached out trembling to touch my
15:29arm
15:29the second her skin made contact with my corpse she recoiled like she'd been burned that cold was too
15:36real lisa from next door heard the screaming and went straight to the pack healer when she saw what was
15:42in my room she collapsed in the gate within the hour heavy boots on the floorboards the pack healer and
15:49a
15:49handful of pack warriors crowding the entrance mom sat on the floor a warrior's hand on her shoulder she's
15:56speaking it she's always lying
16:00it doesn't lie i'm just teaching her no one responded they all looked at her like she was a monster
16:07the pack healer crouched next to my body he muttered under his breath severe malnutrition organ
16:13failure this puppy has been starved for at least a month he carefully tried to remove the verity choker
16:20but it had fused years of tightening had pressed the leather deep into the skin of my neck damn it
16:27he
16:27had to use tools to pry it off even dead my soul flinched my wolf lifted her head and
16:36long raw desperate the kind of howl that should have shaken the walls no one heard it no one flinched
16:44we were already dead a warrior picked up my journal started reading his face went from neutral to
16:50horrified mom's eyes locked on to that book that's her confession she admits she lied look she wrote it
16:58herself the warrior pushed her back wrapped the journal and cloth and took it we'll report it to
17:06the council that's when dad got home he saw the pack healer and the pack warriors crowding the doorway
17:13saw the body wrap being carried out saw the long cord that sealed away my entire life his legs gave
17:21out
17:22he collapsed on the doorstep emma stood nearby sobbing in confusion she pointed at the discolored
17:29verity choker on the table why does stella have a black collar and i have a green one see she
17:36held up
17:36her neck the gem blinked its steady green it was grotesque the council elders
17:42arrived before dawn mom straightened when she saw them even now even with my body three days cold
17:49and rotting her luna instincts kicked in she lifted her chin squared her shoulders it didn't work today
17:56they started questioning mom in the living room mom grabbed the verity choker off the table like it was a
18:02lifeline test it that choker proved she was lying red gem means lie i never abused her the choker told
18:14me
18:14i was just educating her the council elders looked at her like she'd lost her mind
18:20the pup showed signs of extreme malnutrition months of starvation aphelion multiple old injuries
18:29consistent with prolonged that's just discipline that's teaching her to be honest
18:35then she did something insane you don't believe me fine i'll wear it
18:44watch it'll be green the leather pressed against her skin cold sticky that was my blood she took a deep
18:53breath tried to calm herself she needed to prove she was innocent needed to prove her way of raising an
19:00alpha air was right she held up the gem eyes wild listen i'm rachel i'm stella's mother
19:08this is the truth the absolute truth the gem flashed red mom's confident expression shattered
19:17i said truth i am rachel i never abused her i did it for her own good
19:27i love her and suddenly she remembered me 10 years old gasping as the choker tightened around
19:36my throat biting my lip so i wouldn't make a sound is this what it felt like why is it
19:43red i am
19:44telling the truth turn green you're broken you're setting me up but the gem kept flashing like it was
19:51mocking her you're a liar you're a liar you're a liar enough this is just a bloodstone i've seen it
20:01before it changes color with body heat fear pain anything that makes your heart race temperature
20:08rises it burns red that's all it does know which magic never was think about your daughter ruptured
20:18appendix organ failure the pain must have been unbearable she was terrified and what did you see
20:25a red gem so you punished her more which made her more scared which made her temperature rise
20:34which made the stone turn redder you are luna you are supposed to protect every wolf in this pack
20:44you couldn't even protect your own daughter you ignored her cries for help you starved your daughter
20:51to death mom's world collapsed she sat there staring at the flashing gem on her own net and finally
20:59understood for 10 years every red light wasn't because i was lying it was because i was scared scared of
21:07her
21:08anger scared of being misunderstood scared of eating food that made me sick i was in pain pain that made
21:16my heart race and cold sweat pour down my face i was desperate desperate for a hug for her to
21:23hold me
21:24the way she held emma every signal from my frightened heart she had interpreted as proof of my lies
21:37she tried to shift fur rippling across her skin bones cracking but the leather cinched harder around
21:45her throat the moment her neck began to change she snapped back into human form gasping
21:52i can't get it off stella take it back i'm sorry it's all my fault
21:59this little bit of choking and she was already breaking mom i suffered for 10 years the council
22:07elders needed evidence for judgment so they opened my journal in front of my parents february 14th
22:15sunny mom put celery on my plate i'm allergic my throat swells i can't breathe i said i can't eat
22:23it
22:23but because i was scared of making her angry my body ran hot the gem flashed red the choker tightened
22:31mom said i was picky lying made me eat the whole plate that night i threw up blood my throat
22:39felt like
22:40it was on fire i shifted to ease my pain mom saw it and said i'd snuck berry juice that
22:46i was faking
22:47the choker tightened for 10 more minutes mom's hand flew to her mouth she was shaking violently
22:55she remembered that she really did think it was berry juice she didn't even look closely just turned
23:03away to read emma a bedtime story that was blood from a swollen torn throat june 1st pups day emma
23:13shredded
23:13mom's ceremonial cloak emma's heart is always calm her gem stays green i tried to explain but i was scared
23:21of being hit my body ran hot red gem choker tightened for 10 minutes it hurt so bad but i
23:30didn't cry
23:32because crying makes your body run hotter and mom thinks that means you're not sorry so i held my
23:38breath pretended it didn't hurt mom said see she doesn't even blink she's definitely faking it dad
23:47couldn't take it anymore this man who had always put the pack before his own family chose duty over
23:53his daughter for 10 years you monster what did you do that was your daughter you treated her like a
24:02stray blood at the corner of her mouth not my fault not my fault it's her it's emma and this
24:10gem was
24:10always green emma was a good one if it wasn't for that green light making me trust her i wouldn't
24:17have believed the red light so much this is emma's fault that little princess everyone had protected
24:23one of the council elders walked over gently removed the green disparity choker from her neck
24:29took out a blade pried the gem loose right there it rolled onto the table still glowing green
24:37steady unchanged the elder picked up the stone a glowstone that is all your younger daughter's
24:44choker was always going to shine green no matter what she said did or lied about it would never change
24:54your so-called verity choker was a fraud that was her truth for 10 years that was the evidence she
25:01used to
25:02convict me a common glowstone that put me in hell while emma lived in paradise so i wasn't a liar
25:09i
25:10i laughed laughed until i cried turns out ghosts could cry too the elder turned to the last page of
25:17the
25:17journal his voice broke the handwriting was a mess clearly written while dying mom if i die will the
25:24choker stop glowing red or if it turns green will you hug me then i'm not lying i couldn't heal
25:31myself
25:31anymore my stomach hurts so much like knives next life please don't make me wear the choker please
25:40i just want to be a normal pup i want to eat mom's roasted meat mom stared at the broken
25:46glowstone on
25:46the table that truth magic she trusted without question a worthless stone because of that stone she
25:53spoiled emma for 10 years because of that cursed red light she tortured me for 10 years
26:03mom started laughing her voice cracking in every sound worse than crying fake all fake
26:14i killed my most honest pup and i worshipped a liar she'd lost her mind for real this time my
26:23death
26:24became the talk of the entire pack lisa the neighbor who had sent for the pack healer told everyone what
26:30she'd seen every wolf knew by morning luna had starved her own daughter to death monster murderer
26:39she doesn't deserve to be luna stones flew at our door the word killer carved into the wall the council
26:47convened within the day the verdict was swift dad lost his alpha title no wolf would follow him now
26:54my grandfather the former alpha read out the judgment himself he didn't look at his son once dad
27:02walked out of the council hall and never looked back he took emma and left the pack that same night
27:08emma was a bad seed sure but she was still his blood before they left emma tried to take her
27:14green
27:15choker dad stomped on it why the hell would you want that piece of trash emma cried as he dragged
27:21her away
27:22mom got out of the dungeon the healer said she had lost her mind the council locked her in the
27:28home
27:28instead the one that still smelled like death her mental state deteriorated fast she refused to take off
27:35the red choker she would tighten it herself whenever the guilt got too heavy she said choking was the
27:41only thing that eased it it was her self-imposed punishment i floated in the darkness my wolf curled
27:48beside me watching her unravel day after day she'd talk to the empty corner where i used to stand stella
27:54i brought you some food no celery today it's all roast just how you like it but there was no
28:01food
28:02there was nothing just her hands cupped around air she'd pretend to set a plate down her hands shook
28:09the gem flashed red she was anxious guilty falling apart she smiled but her eyes were empty
28:17the gem is red mom is lying liars don't deserve food she pulled the choker tight with her own hands
28:25let it choke her her body convulsed against the cold floor it hurts so much is this how stella felt
28:33i'm sorry mom started reenacting my diary entries i couldn't eat celery because of my allergy
28:41so she forced herself to eat spoiled food until she vomited blood then swallowed it back down i was
28:48locked in isolation so she locked herself in my old room lights off and bowed to my portrait until her
28:55forehead bled over and over blood on the floor late at night she'd see the red glow of the bloodstone
29:04reflected on the wall to her it looked like my bloody eyes were watching she kept punishing herself the
29:11wounds healed slower and slower her wolf exhausted by months of self-torture slowly fell into a deep
29:19sleep mom didn't care she scrawled on the back of my journal i'm sorry i was wrong red means pain
29:27red means love please come back and say it hurts hurts one more time i'll save you i promise too
29:35bad i'm
29:35dead dead wolves can't cry for help eventually the new alpha intervened mom's self-harm had gone too far
29:43she'd nearly choked herself to death with her own hands he ordered her to move to a small hut at
29:49the
29:49far edge of the village locked from the outside someone posted to watch her day and night she was
29:55the strangest woman they'd ever seen nobody knew where she'd found it a frayed red cord tied around her own
30:03neck her homemade choker if anyone tried to remove it she'd snap at them teeth bared snarling wild-eyed
30:12don't touch me stella's watching she'll be angry if you take it every time the guard called her name
30:20and brought her food mom would grab the red cord and pull it tight against her own throat convulsing
30:26screaming red light red light don't punish punish me i'll eat i'll eat even if the food was scalding
30:36hot she'd gulp it down burning her throat wouldn't spit it out she was reenacting my final moments
30:43living my hell on repeat years later emma grew up without guidance and with a trail of shame behind her
30:50she drifted from pack to pack stealing to survive no one would take her in when she ran out of
30:57options
30:57she remembered mom was still alive she slipped back into the silverman pack under the cover of night
31:04not for love for money hey crazy lady dad's dead give me whatever you've been hiding emma stood there
31:13face hard eyes full of contempt she looked at mom's hollow broken form and spat on the floor it's
31:21disgusting give me what i want or i'll send you to meet your daughter for a moment mom's cloudy eyes
31:29cleared she looked at emma and suddenly remembered that choker that always green glowstone that decade of
31:38deception it's you you lie you're the green light that wasn't there you killed stella give her back
31:47to me give her back to me the last shred of maternal love twisted into something feral mom lunged grabbed
31:55emma by the throat should have died not her you emma thrashed but couldn't break free from a
32:05mad woman's grip the guards rushed in pulled her off emma stumbled out of the hut terrified
32:12they're all insane she bolted into the forest she didn't get far rogues the kind that haunted the
32:20borderlands preying on anyone foolish enough to run through the trees alone at night emma never saw
32:26them coming by the time she did it was too late she survived barely both legs shattered beyond repair
32:35she'd never walk again meanwhile mom was strapped to her cot staring at the ceiling tears streaming in
32:42her dreams she finally saw me i was 10 again no choker white dress smiling mom she reached for me
32:51crying
32:52with joy stella but the moment her hands touched me i burst into ash no she woke up screaming if
33:02she'd
33:02been wearing that choker it would have been blood red eternal torment i stood in the void watching it
33:09all mom strapped to her bed emma in a wheelchair begging on the market dad drunk and dead in some
33:16gutter i felt nothing no satisfaction just a flat dead calm my wolf padded over quietly she didn't howl
33:25didn't nudge just pressed her head against my hand and held it there in the distance a door of light
33:31appeared soft steady waiting i looked at my wolf she looked at me yeah time to leave this life was
33:40too
33:40bitter nothing worth holding on to i floated to mom's hut one final time she looked ancient hair completely
33:48white frail as paper she sensed something her cloudy eyes focused on a point in the air right where i
33:54stood stella is that you her trembling hand reached into the emptiness mom destroyed the choker i don't
34:00believe in it anymore come back please i'll cook for you no salary i'll buy you new dresses not emma
34:07tears rolled down her face i looked at the red marks on her neck from the frayed cord i i
34:13reached out
34:13my cold ghostly finger touched her forehead this was my final mercy sleep mom in sleep there's no pain
34:21her eyes fluttered shut she slumped into a deep dreamless rest a breeze blew through the hut the old
34:28journal on her cot flipped open the last page my dying words stared up at the ceiling but below it
34:34in shaky handwriting were new lines written by mom during a lucid moment next life let me wear the
34:41choker let me be the liar punish me however you want just don't leave me i stared at those words
34:47felt nothing too late repentance means nothing to the dead mom i don't hate you anymore but i don't
34:54love you either let's not meet again i turned away my wolf was waiting in the distance the door
35:00of light still glowed soft steady patient i looked at my neck the phantom verity choker still there even
35:07in spirit form the nightmare that had changed me for a lifetime i grabbed it it shattered into nothing
35:13i felt weightless free no red light no hunger no lies just freedom my wolf pressed against my side
35:20together we walked toward the light i didn't look back morning came a guard pushed open the door
35:26rachel time to eat no response she walked closer mom's hand clutched the torn journal a single tear
35:33crystallized at the corner of her eye she crouched beside her held two fingers beneath her nose
35:38nothing she was gone passing through the door wasn't violent no spinning no chaos just warmth like sinking
35:45into a spring stream i looked to my side my wolf was gone i didn't panic i pressed my hand
35:51to my
35:52chest and there she was steady warm then i heard her voice not a whimper not a whine clear and
35:59bright and
35:59full of life like the first time we met run i shifted four paws hit the ground and i ran
36:05through
36:05forests that smelled of pine and rain through cold shallow streams that splashed silver around my legs
36:12through meadows i had never seen but somehow knew my white fur caught the light my paws were sure
36:18my lungs were full my body was strong no choker around my throat no red light no hunger the lingering
36:26ache in my soul the phantom pain of 10 years started to fade with every step i ran toward brightness
36:33behind
36:33me old life dissolved like a worn photograph left out in the rain mom's final tear the red glow of
36:40the
36:41choker blood on the journal pages gone i didn't look back that 10-year nightmare was finally truly over
36:48when i opened my eyes again i was tiny wrapped in soft blankets someone was humming
36:57a woman's voice gentle off key but full of love her fingers brushed my cheek the scent of wildflowers
37:05not the cold clinical distance of my old mother not the silence of someone who only touched me to
37:11punish i blinked up at her she had kind eyes a soft smile she cradled me like i was made
37:18of glass
37:20grace is awake honey come quick our daughter just opened her eyes a man appeared tall a little awkward
37:28but his face lit up when he saw me he touched my tiny hand with one finger his voice was
37:34deep warm
37:36hey grace i'm your dad
37:40grace not stella no weight no chains no red light just grace a name that meant something light
37:49something cherished this house was small but warm full of light cartoon painting on the walls
37:56flowers by the window sunlight pouring through the windows warm on the floor i realized fast this
38:03family was nothing like the last one they never forced me to do anything there were no chokers no red
38:10lights no punishments for things i hadn't done i grew learned to crawl to talk and when i was three
38:19mom made a stew with celery the green stalks in the bowl triggered me i flashed back to choking
38:25throat swelling vomiting blood i stumbled backwards shaking tears came without permission mom immediately
38:33put down her spoon crouched pulled me into a hug grace what's wrong you don't like celery i couldn't
38:41speak just shook my head sobbing dad knelt too rubbed my back hey it's okay you don't have to eat
38:49it
38:49can you tell us why their eyes were patient gentle finally i choked out it hurts my throat makes me
38:58bleed
38:59they didn't say the verity choker doesn't lie they didn't accuse me of faking they took me to the
39:06pack healer immediately turns out i really do have a celery allergy after that celery never appeared in the
39:13house again mom added it to her market list grace's allergies celery she checked every time she
39:20shopped i lay in her arms that night smelling wild flowers and realized this is what it feels like to
39:27be believed love isn't measured by a stone it's listening even when the story sounds impossible when
39:35i was four dad took me to the pack healer for my first health check there was a blood draw
39:39i saw the
39:40needle and lost it flashes of the choker tightening around my throat flashes of starvation i screamed
39:47clung to dad's leg the healer sighed i couldn't stop shaking don't punish me i'm not lying dad immediately
39:57scooped me up sorry she's not ready we'll come back another time on the walk home dad didn't scold
40:02me for being weak he just asked gently grace did someone hurt you before i buried my face in his
40:10shoulder tears soaking his shirt mom joker red light i couldn't explain it clearly but he listened nodded
40:21it's okay dad's here now no one's ever hurting you again from then on they took me to the pack
40:28healer
40:29regularly not for blood draws just to talk she has been hurt be patient with her my parents never
40:36complained never made me feel like a burden they bought me a colorful necklace but never forced me
40:42to wear it this is just a pretty thing grace wear it if you want take it off if you
40:47don't we'll love
40:48you either way slowly i started to heal i could say i don't like this without fear i could say
40:55i'm scared
40:57i could say i want that i didn't have to worry about my heart racing being proof of a lie
41:02i started sharing my stories with them i cried when i didn't get a toy i laughed when i got
41:09praise
41:10i was finally just a pup a normal loved pup when i turned seven i started at the pack school
41:17there was
41:17a girl in my class annie sullivan she looked exactly like emma same eyes but her hair was shorter and
41:26she
41:26was timid scared the first time i saw her my heart clenched flashbacks emma's smug grin the green light
41:35mocking me i stepped back instinctively annie noticed she looked down voice barely a whisper i'm annie
41:46do you want to be friends her tone was so careful so desperate to please just like i used to
41:52be
41:52i glanced at her neck she wore a simple choker with green gem my stomach turned later i found out
42:00annie's mom was strict too this family demanded honesty locked her in her room without food when
42:06she made mistakes one day annie accidentally knocked over the teacher's ink pot she was trembling too scared
42:14to admit it i saw her face red rimmed eyes barely holding back tears i remembered myself at that desk
42:21writing i am a liar over and over i walked over took her hand annie it's okay accidents happen let's
42:33tell the teacher together she won't be mad annie looked at me shocked but mom says liars are bad wolves
42:40being honest isn't about never making mistakes it's about owning up when you do and even if you tell the
42:46truth you shouldn't be punished for it if the teacher gets angry i'll stand with you if your mom
42:52gets angry come to my house my parents will help i gave her the courage i never had she confessed
42:58the
42:59teacher forgave her told her to be more careful next time from that day on we have been best friends
43:05i brought annie home to meet my parents she saw how warm they were how they didn't yell didn't punish
43:11little things i told her you don't have to make everyone happy you're allowed to feel things say
43:20things one day annie's mom came to pick her up from school she saw us together and her face twisted
43:26she grabbed annie's hand did you mess up again is grace covering for you annie immediately looked down
43:34silent i stepped in front of her looked at the mom in the eye ma'am annie didn't do anything
43:40wrong
43:42she's a good pup you shouldn't always assume the worst
43:48she's scared of you the mom froze looked at me then at annie's tear-filled eyes her expression softened
43:55that night she called my mom thanked her said i'd opened her eyes over time i'm sorry annie's mom got
44:02gentle started listening instead of yelling and annie she blossomed confident happy i watched her
44:11laugh freely one day and felt this warmth in my chest i didn't get saved in my last life i
44:17suffered
44:17alone in the dark but this time i could save someone else i could stop another stella from happening
44:24maybe that's the gift my past life gave me the ability to see pain and to heal it when i
44:30was 10
44:30my parents took me to visit grandma there was an old oak tree in her yard its branches spread wide
44:36casting shade over the whole garden i sat beneath it watching sunlight filter through the leaves my
44:42wolf dozed inside me warm and content then i saw her an old woman white hair hunched over a walking
44:49stick wearing a faded blue dress the second i saw her face i froze she looked exactly like rachel
44:56my old mother grandma noticed me too walked over slowly her eyes were hazy but there was something
45:03familiar in them something heavy what's your name child grace she repeated it softly grace that's a
45:09beautiful name she reached out like she wanted to touch my hair then hesitated pulled back like she
45:15was afraid of disturbing something sacred my mom came over steadied her mom this is our daughter grace so
45:22she was my grandma in this life too over the next few days grandma watched me constantly her expression
45:28was unreadable one morning she brought me a bowl of roasted meat grace eat up this used to be your
45:33favorite i stared at the bowl in my last life i wrote in my dying breath i want to eat
45:39mom's roasted
45:40meat and here was grandma saying those exact words tears blurred my vision this wasn't some distant wish
45:47anymore it was real right in front of me i picked up a piece bit into it tender sweet perfect
45:54grandma smiled
45:55a tired guilty smile that night lying in bed with my wolf curled warm inside my chest i thought about
46:02rachel's last words next life let me wear the choker let me be the liar punish me however you want
46:08just don't leave me i thought about her final tear the torn journal i didn't hate her anymore
46:14hating someone is like locking yourself in the past chewing on pain forever this life's warmth had
46:20already washed away the bitterness i just felt sad sad that she only understood too late real love was
46:27never about stones or punishment we stayed for a month then went back home before i left she held my
46:33hand grace live well be happy her voice was soft but heavy with meaning i nodded you too grandma i
46:40watched
46:40her walk away and i felt nothing no anger no grief the grudges of my past life were like fallen
46:47leaves
46:47blown away by the wind i wasn't stella anymore the girl locked in the dark choking on a lie i
46:53was grace
46:54sterling surrounded by love free at 13 i graduated from pack school got into the best academy in the
47:00region my parents took me to the lake for a picnic to celebrate i stood at the edge of the
47:05water wind in
47:06my hair the scent of pine and cold water on my skin i stretched out my arms feeling the freedom
47:13for a
47:13moment i saw her my ghost self floating desperate to hug someone but passing right through grace what
47:21are you thinking dad handed me a drink i smiled just i'm grateful to be alive to be with you
47:27both mom
47:28pulled me into a hug silly girl we're the lucky ones no one said anything we all just shifted at
47:35the same
47:35time like we'd done it a hundred times before we ran together through the trees through the shallow
47:40edge of the lake water spraying silver around our paws eventually i slowed down turned and threw
47:47myself at them we tumbled into the grass together mom nuzzled her head against mine dad licked the top
47:53of my head with lazy affection i pressed into them both and stayed there breathing hard warm all the way
48:00through i looked up at the sky through the canopy of trees i didn't need to prove i wasn't a
48:05liar
48:06anymore i didn't need to fear a red light i could laugh cry speak freely i had parents who loved
48:12me a
48:13best friend a healthy body a bright future this was the life i died wishing for that night i wrote
48:20in
48:20my journal not the blood-stained confessions of my old life this one was full of happiness growth love
48:27i wrote today we ran by the lake mom and dad shifted with me without saying a word we tumbled
48:34in the grass like pups i thought about my past self that little girl locked in a room choking in
48:40the dark
48:40desperate to be loved she'd never believed that i could be this happy mom and dad love me they taught
48:46me that honesty isn't something you punish out of someone it's something you grow with patience and warmth
48:53annie is my best friend now she laughs freely she speaks without flinching grandma is getting older
49:00but her eyes are warm when she looks at me my wolf grows stronger every day with her beside me
49:06i feel
49:06at ease i don't hate anyone anymore i don't cling to the past those painful memories are like paw prints
49:13in
49:13the mud washed away by rain but they taught me to cherish every step forward i know my old mom
49:19sister and
49:20dad got what they deserved and i finally broke free i found real freedom i don't want to see them
49:27again i don't want to relive that life i just want to be gray simple happy loved the lake was
49:34beautiful
49:34life was beautiful i closed my journal looked out the window moonlight shimmered on the water through the
49:40trees my wolf stirred softly inside my chest warm steady i smiled this life i finally became who i
49:48wanted to be no red light no starvation no lies just love freedom happiness and those scars from my past
49:56they became part of me proof that i had survived proof that darkness no matter how long it lasts cannot
50:02swallow you whole not if you keep moving toward the light the road ahead is long but i will walk
50:08it
50:09with courage with courage with joy towards something even brighter
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