Skip to playerSkip to main content
  • 11 hours ago

Category

📺
TV
Transcript
00:05She's blonde and white, and yet, she's gone.
00:08Oh, snap.
00:10It's a new season of blonde, white, and gone.
00:12Must be nice having a big TV.
00:15Back in my day, our TV was just a fish tank with a radio in it.
00:21I'm not sure any of the stories Dad tells about his childhood are true.
00:25Must be nice eating at a table.
00:27We had to take turns being a table.
00:30Hey, Dad, can I borrow the car?
00:31Well, Pop's car was just wood and rock, and we had to power it with our feet.
00:37I feel like he's starting to get mixed up with stuff he saw on TV.
00:40I have actually been wanting to dig into your childhood a little bit more, Reggie.
00:44Maybe tomorrow you could take me back to...
00:46Don't say the hood.
00:46I wasn't going to.
00:47I don't believe you.
00:48It was a great idea.
00:50Maybe you'll see Mr. Carter and the Sweat Hogs.
01:03NBA crossover 3K wants to use my song.
01:06I'm going to be in a video game.
01:09Oh, that game is dope.
01:11In COVID bubble mode, you can sneak away to the strip club for wings.
01:14Congrats, babe.
01:15Which song?
01:15It's a new one I did with Genesis.
01:18Run it up, run it down, run it back, stack, stack.
01:21That's beautiful.
01:22Stack, stack.
01:23I was low-key giving up hope on my music career taking off.
01:27The industry is contracting.
01:28But then, somebody from the video game company heard our track on Genesis OnlyFans.
01:33God is good.
01:34All the time.
01:35They sent the contract, and just to say it, Monica, you were the one who came up with the
01:40idea of reading contracts, so I already told them you're my agent.
01:44Oh, Brina, I don't know anything about the music business.
01:46It's brutal.
01:47I got sampled back in 2002, and I never even saw a dime.
01:51Phone, play Nighttime Explosion by The Oddities.
02:00That was you?
02:01That's a bop.
02:02I was miked up during a game.
02:03Pulled my groin, kicking an extra point.
02:05I guess Timbaland felt it.
02:07Yeah, they didn't even invite me to the VMAs that year.
02:10Elton John did my part.
02:12Please, Monica.
02:14Fine, fine.
02:15Bring Genesis by my office later.
02:19Oh, Daddy!
02:22Monica grew up in the fancy part of Sheep Neck.
02:25It was still a food desert, but they had all kinds of beverages.
02:29So you and Monica really had a kind of a Romeo and Juliet thing going on?
02:32Yeah, including the part where the priest poisoned her?
02:34That guy was poisoning everybody.
02:37Hey, Denise!
02:38Hi!
02:39I thought I might run into you.
02:40I mean, this is my mail route.
02:42What you doing back at Sheep Neck, little man?
02:44I am just making art.
02:46You know me.
02:47Not really, but it's nice to see you.
02:50Let's see the back.
02:51Okay, keeping it tight.
02:53Yeah, trying.
02:53Well, I wish we weren't both at work right now, because I got keys to a lot of package rooms.
02:59But holler at me sometime.
03:00Yeah, and at you shall be hollered.
03:03Hey, yo.
03:05Is that the mom from my camp?
03:07Um, yeah.
03:08Denise and I met there.
03:09And then again the other day when I came to the neighborhood to shoot B-roll.
03:14Dig, tell you what.
03:17I'm going to help you lock this down.
03:19No, no, no, no, no, you don't need to do anything.
03:21Just, uh, you were telling me about how you and Monica got together.
03:23Denise!
03:25Hey, Fredgy Dinkus!
03:26Sup, girl?
03:27How your boy doing with them passing drills?
03:30Hey, good.
03:31What you doing tonight?
03:32You know my boy Arthur lives with me in my mansion in Alpine.
03:35What zip code is it?
03:3707620.
03:38Mmm, fancy.
03:39Why don't you come by, get some fried fish from Harlem, watch a 70s monster movie, or whatever
03:44you think a chill date is.
03:46Date?
03:47Word.
03:48But I got Jason tonight because Hector got to meet up with his boys to watch the Jake Paul
03:52Morgan Freeman fight, so...
03:54Next time then, whenever I'm back in Sheepneck or you're in northern New Jersey, or we could
03:58meet in the exact middle.
03:59I looked it up on a map and it is the 9-11 memorial.
04:02Hmm, okay.
04:05Well, see you around.
04:06It's great to see you.
04:07Oh, oh, cool.
04:09Very nice.
04:10Yeah.
04:17Good morning.
04:19And here's your coffee, baby.
04:21Oh, I'm sorry.
04:22You look exactly like my girlfriend.
04:25Okay, Shane.
04:26Thanks.
04:27And your guests are already here.
04:29Guests?
04:30Monica!
04:31I can't believe you turned down IDK for this place?
04:37Barry, what are you doing here?
04:38Didn't you know?
04:39I rep Genesis.
04:41Stag-Zag.
04:43But you're a sports agent.
04:44So are you, bud.
04:45The crossover 3K cover boy, Kyrie Irving.
04:48IDK just sold his memoir, If the Earth is Round, Why Can't I Dunk It?
04:52And when I saw your name on the licensing paperwork, I couldn't resist getting in on the deal.
04:59Stag-Zag!
05:00Well, I reviewed the offer, and apparently Akinelli got way more money to use Put It In Your Mouth than
05:07the new Kirby game.
05:07Oh, we're happy with the offer, but not the split.
05:1350-50?
05:14I was thinking more like 100-0.
05:18Zero?
05:19Like Coke Zero?
05:21Jay, we wrote that song together.
05:24Well, my client says you used her garage band on her laptop in a coffee shop where the baristas know
05:31her.
05:32Yeah.
05:32This guy says you're trying to steal my song.
05:35Yo song!
05:36Okay.
05:37Yeah.
05:37Okay, wait.
05:38Uh-uh, Barry.
05:39Hey, okay.
05:40There's plenty to go around.
05:41If we just work together.
05:43Oh, I thought you said you didn't want to work with me.
05:47Genesis, Sabrina, look at your phones for a minute.
05:51Is this about me not taking that job?
05:53Come on.
05:54Do you know what you put me through?
05:56I had to get all the IDK partners to sign off on you, then email them to say you turned
06:01us down.
06:02It was humiliating.
06:04100-0, Monica.
06:06That's our offer.
06:11Stag's it.
06:14Okay.
06:15Let's talk about your time in Green Bay.
06:17Cheese.
06:18Cold.
06:18Next question.
06:19Oh, sorry.
06:23What was that?
06:24Uh, it was my dentist wishing me happy birthday.
06:26They have the wrong date.
06:27They won't fix it.
06:29But you was hoping it was Denise, weren't you?
06:31Look how nasty stuff she's sitting in you.
06:36Are you the blue?
06:38Oh, no.
06:40I know what this is.
06:42You're treating that girl like she's one of your documentaries.
06:45You're obsessed.
06:46I am not discussing this with you.
06:48But just so you know, I don't get obsessed with things, okay?
06:51I get deeply interested in them, whether that's my documentaries or terrariums or, briefly, parkour.
06:57Ha-ha!
06:58Mr. Ricochet here.
06:59You know how I do.
07:07It is a good trait for my work.
07:08It's why I won an Academy Award.
07:10Okay.
07:11How does that work for you with the shorties?
07:14There was one shorty who got complicated.
07:19Hmm.
07:20Oh.
07:20An unknown number from Jupiter, Florida.
07:23This could be her.
07:26Hello?
07:28Uh-huh.
07:29What is your social security number?
07:30Okay, that's enough.
07:31We can actually stop there.
07:36Sorry, Barry's in a meeting.
07:38I know he's not.
07:39Because he's live on Instagram right now doing push-ups in his office.
07:42You're in the background of his shot.
07:45Okay, so what rhymes with Genesis?
07:48Nemesis.
07:48No friend is this.
07:50Mom's tennis wrist.
07:52Ruth's Chris.
07:53Capital Grail.
07:54Peter Lugers.
07:55You lost the thread again, Rusty.
07:57I told you we should have got something to eat before we started.
07:59What are y'all doing?
08:00We're trying to make a diss track.
08:02We've got to clap back at Genesis and then get steaks.
08:04My friend just dropped this.
08:07Queen Brishy, whack, whack.
08:08Tell him I wrote sack sack.
08:10She's picking in my pockets, but she's living in the palace.
08:13We the washed old man who's popping that Cialis.
08:18You're stupid and I hate you.
08:21First off, Reggie doesn't need Cialis's.
08:25And Genesis is richer than I am.
08:27Her real name is Jenny Sussman.
08:29And her dad is a famous doctor.
08:32He's New York's top twin separator.
08:34Is it really a big enough market for that procedure?
08:37Brina, the beef is getting cold, okay?
08:39We've got to heat it up.
08:40Yeah.
08:41Why you being so mean?
08:43I thought we was friends.
08:45Maybe I should give...
08:47Give up music.
08:50Actually, I just need a minute.
08:54She didn't use any of my rhymes.
08:57Reggie, I just realized that yesterday we got footage of you in front of your elementary school and your high
09:02school, but we neglected middle.
09:04Sheep Neck didn't have middle school.
09:06We were loose those years.
09:08You know what?
09:09I think you want to go back to Brooklyn just to run into Denise again.
09:13But...
09:13No, I would never use the film like that.
09:17Sit down, you're going to bless it down.
09:19Do you know that movie, He's Just Not That Into You?
09:23Now imagine flipping it.
09:26No, it doesn't work.
09:27My God, do you really think that you have some insight into my relationship with Denise?
09:33Relationship?
09:34Bro, she dabbed you.
09:36So good to see you.
09:44Well, when you do something in slow motion, of course it looks bad.
09:47Not necessarily.
09:49Baywatch, walking away from explosions, pouring syrup in commercials.
09:53Okay, you know, this is the last time that we are going to talk about me, okay?
09:57Denise and I have a real connection.
09:59Uh-huh.
10:00You ever done it in a bed?
10:01No, but you're not there when we're alone together, okay?
10:04We both love jokes and food and we have a song.
10:08It was playing in her mail truck the first time we...
10:10It's the William Tell overture, which would not have been my first choice,
10:13but my foot slipped and I hit the scan button and...
10:15Arthur, you have a booty call.
10:18And that's it.
10:19And as a bro, I gotta tell you, you're bugging out.
10:22Okay, we are not bros.
10:24That's not what this is.
10:25And I am bugging in.
10:26Dude, dude!
10:29I get it.
10:30You've been stuck in this house for months and then you meet somebody that looked like that?
10:35I mean, it's not for me!
10:37Yucky!
10:38Bring this down the hall.
10:41Look, after me and Monica split, it was rough for a minute.
10:44But then I had to get back out there.
10:46I posted up in Washington Heights and chatted it up with the ladies.
10:50I am not here to ride around looking for random hookups, Reggie.
10:54I am here to work and I am very happy with the Denise situation.
10:58I hear you.
11:00Documentary.
11:02What about, I'll take you around the corner and show you the house I bought my mom after I signed
11:07with the Jets?
11:08Yes, that is what I'm talking about. Thank you.
11:11Baddies of Alpine.
11:13Who wants a piece of this?
11:16You lied to me.
11:17Yep.
11:18My friend Ed's got an Oscar.
11:20I am not a part of this.
11:22Reggie, I am sorry, but I don't want you wingmanning for me.
11:24Actually, I already am in a relationship.
11:26Not really.
11:28Not like he wants.
11:30He's looking for something lasting and real.
11:32Okay, this is ridiculous.
11:34I can walk home from here.
11:37Look at that little butt, ladies.
11:38My boy's got cupcake.
11:41If Reggie was a shot in cricket, he would be worth six runs because he is out of bounds.
11:48I'm afraid desperate measures are required.
11:53Hey, chat.
11:54I'm here with my client, the number one rent pickleball player in America, Ernie Slava.
11:59Say hi, Ernie.
12:00Barry.
12:02Congrats.
12:03You won't answer my call, so you made me come to you.
12:07You want to play me for the deal?
12:09No, that's idiotic.
12:10I want to have a grown-up conversation.
12:12Okay.
12:13Statins, interest rates.
12:15We're taking mom's keys away.
12:16Is that grown-up enough for you?
12:18I mean, it's too late anyway.
12:20I just heard that the game guys got fed up and the deal's dead, baby.
12:25And you're happy about that?
12:27That means neither of us get anything.
12:29Is it not clocking to you that I'm standing on business right now?
12:32I only have a sign genesis to make sure you got nothing.
12:36I already dropped her.
12:37You're seriously that petty.
12:39You lose.
12:40Now, if you'll excuse me, I paid $700 an hour for this sesh.
12:48What are you doing?
12:49Recording more classy pickleball behavior.
12:52We never should have let you people in here.
12:53Hey, what do you mean you people?
12:55Oh, are you not people?
12:56I went to Penn.
12:57Your mom's a hooker.
12:58Sex work is real work.
12:59Yeah?
12:59What are you going to do about it?
13:00Do you know who I am?
13:01Yeah, you're a dingbat.
13:03Brina?
13:06Have you seen Brina?
13:08She's upstairs in a room listening to The Cure.
13:10I think she's sad, but it might mean something different when it's not a white teenager.
13:16Monica, you're on my YouTube.
13:18You're an embarrassment to racket sports.
13:20Dying a fire.
13:21You died a fire.
13:22How is that on there?
13:24My whole algorithm is people yelling at each other.
13:26I think I like it because it reminds me of road trips when I was a kid.
13:29Rusty, that's not healthy.
13:31People being horrible to each other is not entertainment.
13:34It's the only entertainment.
13:36People are just fighting now and filming it, and I'm here for it.
13:39Yeah, people do like watching other people fight.
13:42I mean, Kendrick and Drake, Caitlin Clark and Angel Reese.
13:45Oh, and you got to see the beef between 50 Cent and Colin Jost.
13:48Oh, come on, there's an ad.
13:50God, I'm so bored.
13:52If you're sick of watching whatever shows they want to watch and getting beat up in fights
13:57they start, then say hi-yah to your conjoined twin.
14:01Wait, people buy ads before these videos?
14:04That means someone's getting paid.
14:06Come to me before your twin does.
14:09Huah!
14:10Hi-yah!
14:20The Upper East Side is really going downhill since the last time I was here.
14:24This isn't the Upper East Side.
14:25I changed the address of your podiatrist's office in your GPS.
14:27You gave me no choice.
14:30Oh, hell no.
14:33Whatever you're about to do is a bad idea.
14:36Wrong again.
14:37Then, I'm going to surprise Denise at work with flowers.
14:40That's why I smelled lilac and baby's breath the whole ride.
14:43I thought I was having a stroke.
14:45This is the kind of romantic gesture two people with a real connection make.
14:49Denise will love it, which will prove that you are wrong about us and me,
14:51and then you can just stop interfering in my life.
14:54Okay.
15:00When I was little, I loved penguins.
15:04My parents would take me to the aquarium in Coney Island,
15:07and I would beg to hug one.
15:10Eventually, my mom realized the only way I would learn was to let me do it.
15:14Those little bastards might be dressed up, but they have beaks.
15:18Arthur Tobin has to learn for himself that the world is full of beaks.
15:23Arthur, this is my workplace.
15:24I told you, you can't DJ in the federal building.
15:26Okay, okay, just give me my mobile back.
15:28Hold on.
15:28But you're that British dude?
15:29Oh, I'm going to kill you.
15:30Hector, no one.
15:31Hector, no.
15:33I forgot she works for the Rex.
15:35I'll get a new phone and start the car.
15:41Go, go, go.
15:43The future reference of death means it's casual.
15:48Hey, y'all, it's your girl Brina, a.k.a. Queen Brie.
15:51Genesis, I heard you got beef, so let's throw it on the grill.
15:55Go, daddy!
15:56Cooking it up in the kitchen.
15:58Genesis, you better listen.
16:00I'm on a track and I'm running it back.
16:02Here's my dunk, go ahead, kiss it.
16:03Listen here, girl, we are not friends.
16:05And I know your daddy chop twins.
16:06And I know you ain't got no men.
16:08I know you sus because you a sus man.
16:11Go, daddy!
16:12And Barry, stick to pickleball, bitch.
16:19You were right about this fish.
16:23I'm right about a lot of things.
16:25For 20 years, I've been saying Gayle King is going to go to space.
16:31So, maybe you should listen to me more.
16:33I just don't know if I can.
16:35I get it.
16:36You don't want us to fall into a magical Negro cliche.
16:39Oh, no, that was, well, yes, actually, absolutely.
16:42But, no, I just mean, when I get obsessed with something, I can't listen to reason.
16:50I stopped making films for three years at one point to pursue the shuffling lifestyle.
17:01And I got pretty extreme with Denise based on nothing.
17:05Now, imagine this with someone toxic.
17:09Like Narcissa.
17:11You go back far enough, we are all from Africa, man.
17:14Oh, give me that mouth, baby.
17:22You stay there, bitch.
17:25That was at the premiere for Kung Fu Panda 4.
17:28Damn, you was lost in the sauce.
17:31Because of her, I lost my health, my perfect Uber rating, my Hollywood career.
17:35If I hadn't left L.A. without saying goodbye, I truly don't know if I'd even be alive right now.
17:42Look, some people aren't meant for real relationships.
17:46You know, I'm a loner, and I will die alone.
17:50First of all, everyone dies alone.
17:53Unless it's a Pompeii situation.
17:55But you're not in Pompeii.
17:58You're in Reggie Dinkins' car with Reggie Dinkins,
18:01who's been with you since the day you got here.
18:04Bro, are you being nice, or are you wiping fish grease on me?
18:09Two things can be true, Arthur Tobin.
18:15Uh, a Deez is here to see you?
18:17Deez who?
18:19Deez nuts!
18:20Can't believe that worked.
18:21Classic.
18:23Hey, I saw a little video, Monica.
18:25Did you really think that would get to me?
18:27Well, you're here, aren't you?
18:29I was just on my way to Tito, bro.
18:31I needed some place to drop a deuce.
18:33Thanks for the bathroom key, BT-dubs.
18:35Oh, it was my pleasure, Mr. Nuts.
18:39Monica, I love that I got under your skin enough to make that video.
18:45Oh, I'm not upset.
18:47The truth is, I'm glad you're here.
18:49See, we live in hateful times.
18:51I'm thriving.
18:52Which is why people love beefs, including Brina's.
18:54So much so, that you can monetize the videos.
18:59Monetize?
19:00Like money?
19:01Mm.
19:01Money's the best.
19:03What's going on?
19:04You turned Genesis and Brina against each other just so I wouldn't make a penny.
19:08But thanks to the fight you started, I've made 10% of $1,117.
19:14Which is enough to buy me a one-way Southwest flight to Baltimore.
19:17No!
19:18That is so much more than zero!
19:20You are supposed to get zero!
19:22You don't shrug at me.
19:24I can still win this.
19:27Hey!
19:28Hey!
19:29How would you like to make $250,000?
19:32Very much, sir!
19:33Great!
19:34You're my new assistant.
19:36Let's roll.
19:37Bye, honey.
19:38I'll miss you.
19:40Jeez, I am so sorry, Monica.
19:42It's really uncanny.
19:44I did some digging, and he's not wrong.
19:51Camillo!
19:52You left Buddy Bunny at my house.
19:55I don't know who that is.
19:58A rabbit?
19:59I guess just put him in my bedroom and tuck him in.
20:03Uh, but I don't know a rabbit.
20:05Oh!
20:06We just broke $2,000!
20:09Hey!
20:10That's two bones for money, baby!
20:12Hey!
20:13Oh!
20:13Oh!
20:14This is my dream!
20:16Making money for my music, and then eventually getting so famous from it,
20:20that I start a makeup line and never have to do music again.
20:24Genesis is still slapping beef on the grill.
20:27She rhymed Brina with hyena.
20:29She said you killed Mufasa.
20:31That is not funny.
20:32It's okay.
20:33We actually made up.
20:34We're just keeping the beef going for clicks.
20:36I guess it's my turn.
20:39Girl, you don't want this smoke.
20:41You don't game like God game.
20:43If you keep talking smack, I'm gonna smack the vowels back in your name.
20:47Oh!
20:49Okay!
20:49Did you just make that out?
20:51Yeah.
20:52Go get it, girl.
20:53Oh!
20:53All right.
20:54New phone.
20:55Fresh start with no Denise.
20:58Reggie, from now on, the only drama you will get from me are recommendations for new programs
21:01on BritBox.
21:02Oh!
21:02Have you seen Mr. Bixley's room?
21:04No, but it sounds amazing.
21:06Mr. Tobin, there's a lady here looking for you.
21:09Artie!
21:11I found you!
21:13No.
21:15That's impossible.
21:17Narcissa.
21:18Twist!
21:19The award-winning modern retelling of Oliver Twist is on BritBox!
21:24It's a...
21:25What?
21:26What did I miss?
21:29Good night, everybody!
21:30Good night!
Comments

Recommended