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00:01How you doing?
00:05Hello again.
00:07Look at you. Hi. How you doing?
00:10Oh, the best of the city.
00:12You as well.
00:13Have I told you about my new business with my sister?
00:15Show me the inside of your handbag now.
00:18Unacceptable.
00:19How does M&S, children's range, sound?
00:22Is it confirmed?
00:23Yeah.
00:23Yes.
00:24Look, it's my face.
00:27London's burning.
00:28What have you done?
00:30Oh!
00:31This is...
00:32There's your hallway.
00:33I'm having quite a good time.
00:34Dating at the moment.
00:36Have you packed anyone?
00:38I'm not.
00:41I can't believe it's the first time in five and a half months
00:44that we've gone for dinner.
00:47It's a lot to kind of witness.
00:49Watching someone you obviously love so much
00:52like deteriorate so quickly.
00:56I'm dating someone.
00:58There's something I can't, like, figure out with her.
01:01She's quite cold.
01:02I don't know if I've got the gene or not,
01:04but you said I possibly could have the gene.
01:06I thought I'd bump into you more and pass the screen.
01:08I've just been busy, just working.
01:10Very nice.
01:10Yeah.
01:11I find it quite strenuous to be mentally engaged by her.
01:15When there isn't an issue, I won't make an issue,
01:17whereas you will bang your head against the wall
01:18until you can create an issue.
01:32I'm tired.
01:35I'm tired.
01:37I'm tired.
01:37How would we describe my last year?
01:40Hectic.
01:41Chaotic.
01:42A lot has happened.
01:43We're living in a fucking dump.
01:45A lot hasn't happened as well.
01:46Got to get the stone installed.
01:48We don't need running water.
01:49They haven't done those plugs.
01:50We've been renovating and trying to create our dream home.
01:54We may as well have just knocked the entire building down
01:57and rebuilt it at this point.
01:59What about this?
02:00You're not even joking.
02:02It's got to learn one day, hasn't it?
02:04Motherhood is a roller coaster.
02:06Highs and lows is the best way to describe it, I think.
02:09You can't just have bread like this, baby.
02:13But equally, he's so cute.
02:16I just love him so much.
02:18I'm plain.
02:18Plain!
02:22Come on, chicken pox man.
02:24Time to get changed.
02:25You itchy today.
02:27I've just turned 35.
02:28It is officially my birthday month.
02:30We've just been to Ibiza with a bunch of friends.
02:33I've got to stop getting you changed in the morning
02:35because you're a big boy now.
02:36You're four.
02:37Max, in and out the country.
02:39Three kids.
02:41Obviously, Pedro.
02:42That's what I've done.
02:43I've moved house.
02:46Hello!
02:47Join the bundle!
02:48There's no dull moment in the Balsa Darden household.
02:52I love it like that.
02:56I can't believe its extensions just look so natural.
02:58Honestly.
02:59Best thing ever.
03:00The best decision I've ever made in my life.
03:02This last year, I have done a lot of travelling.
03:07Going to lovely restaurants, eating good food, lots of martinis.
03:11I really genuinely enjoy what I do, the jewellery and bag.
03:15You know, I don't switch off when I leave the office at five.
03:18I'm always working the evenings and the weekends,
03:20but I definitely say I'm in my prime.
03:23I'm not high maintenance, but I like to dress well.
03:27And I think if you leave the house looking like shit,
03:29you're going to feel like shit all day.
03:31I'm best friends with my problems.
03:34Not to my demons.
03:36Laugh when I'm at my low point.
03:37Get high when I'm in my feelings.
03:39Yeah.
03:40My sister and my dad are going to be here soon, James.
03:43We're falling.
03:43Come on in.
03:44James.
03:46Come on in.
03:47No.
03:50Help.
03:52Because of the sheer amount of stress
03:54and everything that's been going on,
03:57it's been a hard chapter for Lucy and James.
04:00We've been bickering more.
04:02What are you saying?
04:03They won't approve?
04:04Well, I just kind of, like, it's already a shit hole.
04:06I kind of want to set it up and make it look nice.
04:08Can you polish a turd, my friend?
04:09Exactly, I know.
04:11So why bother?
04:15Hello, Dad.
04:16Hi.
04:16Come on in.
04:17So look at this.
04:18Donnie.
04:19This is a work of art.
04:21One of the main reasons that we moved out of London,
04:23because that was a huge decision for us,
04:25was to be closer to family.
04:27Hey, Dad.
04:29How you doing?
04:29You are matching.
04:31Oh, I'm not sure.
04:32He's not sure, no.
04:32I think it's really important for Wilbs
04:34to have a close relationship with his grandparents,
04:38and we just feel like it's a better family environment.
04:42When will you fry your first egg, or...
04:45Oh, no, you don't need eggs, do you?
04:45You don't need eggs, do you?
04:47When will you cook your first meal?
04:51Probably in three weeks.
04:53This actually has to be ready,
04:54because my vegan recipes book, we're shooting that here.
04:57Oh, OK.
04:58So the kitchen has to be ready for that.
04:59Has to be ready for that.
05:00I can't let the publishers down.
05:02I mean, take my hat off to you and James.
05:05I mean, living through all this...
05:06It's testing.
05:06It's testing.
05:07It is physically and mentally exhausting,
05:10and sometimes you just want to be able to shut your mind off.
05:13You can't do that around your child,
05:14because there's hazards here, there, and everywhere.
05:17So we're both kind of gasping for breath,
05:20and we're both just like, when can I have my time?
05:22And it's a constant argument at the moment.
05:26Hello.
05:27Hello.
05:28Come on in.
05:29Oh, who's coming?
05:30Hi, guys.
05:32Hi.
05:32Shall we put the dog foot stones?
05:33Hello.
05:34Hello.
05:35Hello.
05:36Hi Jude.
05:38Look at those gorgeous eyes.
05:39You literally forget how small they are.
05:41He didn't have his eyes open, did he, before?
05:43No.
05:43He was asleep the whole time.
05:45Do you think this is your, like, forever home?
05:46I hope so.
05:48We've just done, you know, we've done it all,
05:49and it will be worth it in the end, won't it?
05:54It will be.
06:10Hi, Jude.
06:12Hi baby girl.
06:13Oh.
06:14I'm in a double fist.
06:15Oh.
06:16That is so unfair.
06:19Oooh, it's nice and clean in here.
06:20It's nice, isn't it?
06:22Ollie is one of the first best mates I've ever had,
06:24He could be a pain in the arse and drive me mad, but he is like a brother to me
06:29Do you remember when he gave me my first one of my first driving lessons? Yes
06:33It was absolutely disastrous Lennox Gardens. I remember it very well in my Union Jack Jaguar. I think it went
06:38quite well actually
06:39I think it was absolutely
06:41disastrous
06:44If we can try and survive this journey would be lovely
06:48Well, I have been enjoying chicken pox recently. No, don't Wolfie came down with it just after his birthday
06:53Then India came down with Wilder at the same day a week after Wolfie got them
06:58Apparently the more children you have and it goes down the worse it gets so I'll just been I mean
07:03his little face is
07:04By the way, don't look at my eyebrows your harnesses on some man
07:11Half of them have gone they haven't they have all they've gone you've only got half an eyebrow
07:16Oh my god look in the mirror. No, you've only got half night. Look at the side here. It's completely
07:21gone
07:22Well, I don't know what's going on. Johannes needs to come back from our silly retreat
07:26You're looking pretty good. You want a bit of a rogue stage. I yeah again
07:29It was after Covid I put on weight and then darling then lovely as M pic popped into your little
07:34fridge God as M pic was made
07:38Because I couldn't lose that on my own. I don't want to go to a fucking gym do I
07:42Boring
07:50It's gonna be amazing it will it will hope you're worth it. What?
08:00What you gonna go out and play with Willoughby?
08:03Bye
08:04They say like moving house and divorce like the most stressful things
08:08Yeah, I think it's just put a massive strain on us like I miss us. Yeah, I've been suggesting is
08:13going and speaking to a therapist
08:15I really which I think he's like terrified
08:17It's got to that stage
08:20So this will be your first fully vegan barbecue, I think so yeah, yeah, I'm really lost really
08:25You never say that really looking forward to it. Thank you. And how are you you know a barbecue aside?
08:31How's it been quite stressful would be an understatement obviously when you've got a baby to look after yeah
08:37Lucy's obviously still very busy. So not much quality time. No, not really. We've definitely
08:43Realized that we go from zero to a hundred quite quickly. I don't like the way that we speak to
08:47each other when we're angry
08:48I've got a child round like I don't want him picking up that energy. Lucy's been
08:53Banging on about that. We need to go to therapy, right? I've said many times that I wouldn't go
08:59Right because there is no problem. There's no problem in our marriage. If she feels the necessity to go and
09:06You as the slightly reluctance then that could place its own problem. I guess I see it as you pick
09:12anybody in the world
09:13And you're going to be stressed under this scenario. Of course. I
09:18Don't know if James is gonna come every time. I brought it up with him. He's like I'm not coming
09:22really
09:24Because I'm a product of divorced parents. I have seen
09:30Where arguments and bickering can lead his parents been together for 30 plus years and
09:34He doesn't have the experience of a broken family that I have so he doesn't necessarily
09:41Relate to me on that level
09:45What a face what's the review on the vegan burger not bad hmm is that nice Wilbs?
09:52It's a big burger for a little baby gosh, isn't it James Lucy was telling me about the therapy?
09:58Do you think you're gonna go? Why don't we just wait and see that until the builders have gone and
10:02then we'll see
10:03Because they're not gonna be gone for another six months. I think if the builders gonna be here for another
10:07six months then
10:08Probably no harm. Sorry James but I thought we bonded over that vegan barbecue
10:16I know Phil comes about giving you some father-in-law advice
10:22Well, let's not go
10:25You seem to have crawled back into your shell I
10:29Think I would love you to come but I don't want you to come kicking and screaming
10:43Yes, I like you
10:48Oh, you look bad. I
10:50Absolutely adore Binky. She is so much fun. She's so kind. She doesn't make being a mother her whole personality
10:59And for me that is so special
11:02To spend time with people that are in different
11:05eras of their life without it being the only thing that they can talk about
11:12What have you been up to?
11:13Uh, I have my birthday. I know I can't wait to celebrate you. And we're having our luncheat. Max isn't
11:18gonna be there
11:19He left for New York this morning at 5 a.m. Oh god. He's hovering over me to try give
11:23me a kiss at 5
11:24I was like, oh, freaked out. This was face of my face, but I think Lucy's coming
11:29You're coming. You're coming. I
11:33Actually can't remember the last time I saw Lucy. It was ages ago, but you know the phone works both
11:37ways
11:39How's your mummy? Mummy's good and yeah, the kids are all happy. I miss that
11:45Well, we should get you over yes, I must auntie Roro and auntie Roro getting any
11:50Seeing to actual at the moment, um, I'm dating someone
11:55Okay, I met him really randomly
11:58Okay, I was in some pancreas getting the euro star to Paris to visit a couple of friends
12:02I was queuing for my matcher in Pret. I was wearing a grey outfit
12:06This girl came up to me. She had a baby in a carrier
12:09She had a Birkin 35 on her arm with loads loads of charms and she said to me
12:14I need to know where your outfits from
12:16We got chatting we have loads of mutual friends on instagram. She's french but lives in london
12:21And she said I can't believe you're single
12:23I have someone to set you up with come to my shabat dinner in two weeks time stop it and
12:28I went and I met him there
12:30He didn't actually realize that it was a setup so I'd seen the picture
12:33So I recognized him in the room and we just chatted all night
12:36The next day he had messaged the girl that
12:40Hosted the dinner and said who was that girl. She was amazing. I definitely let my walls down and he
12:46Deserved to see me with my walls down. It just felt like you know, there were no barriers
12:54How long has this been going for? I don't know a couple of months. Oh my god
12:58So you've obviously seen everything and done everything and it's all going well tickety-boo. It's all great. Everything works.
13:04Yeah, everything's working. Oh great
13:05You always try before you buy don't go straight do you?
13:08You don't shag anymore anyway, so it's fine. No, I don't really poor gareth. Do you send nudes?
13:14I've got my own willy on my phone. Who do you send it to? I've never sent it to anyone.
13:17You just take it for what?
13:18The memories remember what it used to be like well before sagging. They don't shrink though, do they?
13:23I'm 40 in a year. Do you look very good though? I think boys get better at their age. I've
13:27got endo lift on third Friday
13:29I've had that. Is it good? I won't tell you what's involved because you probably won't turn up
13:33Fuck growing our gracefully though. I know god, forget it. Fuck that
13:53Oh
13:54Oh, little baby, is it me that you want to see?
14:02Here you go, Mama.
14:04Oh, well done. Thank you. What can I get you?
14:06Anything from this selection?
14:07What? Is that cheese in the thing? It is cheese.
14:10What type of cheese?
14:13Really nice cheese.
14:14Oh, right. That's near enough.
14:18How about the chickens?
14:22I'm sorry. I'm sorry about the chickens.
14:24I mean, of course you got her chickens.
14:28Yes, because she asked me for them.
14:31So for India's birthday, two presents from Gaga rocked up.
14:35One of them was 12 eggs, and we thought,
14:38oh, that's amazing, Mummy's bought her a cake-baking kit.
14:42Opened the second present, and it was a bloody incubator.
14:49Max was far from impressed.
14:51Nope. There he is.
14:54It would be good to see him. I haven't seen him for ages.
14:57No, thank you.
15:00Hello, plum.
15:01Hello.
15:03Take those ghastly shoes off your feet immediately.
15:05Where are they from?
15:06Are they from Gucci, by any chance?
15:08Yes, they're Gucci.
15:10Hello, handsome boy.
15:11Take them off, then.
15:12I don't know where.
15:13You've been on those bloody pavements in London.
15:16Well, quite.
15:17What?
15:18Oh, no.
15:19Hello, mother.
15:20You having champagne?
15:21No.
15:22I'll get you a glass.
15:22It's sparkling wine.
15:26I'm a little bit baffled about what's going on in your ear right now.
15:29I'm not sure I'm liking it particularly.
15:30Yeah, that is something.
15:31Now, I had rather a boozy lunch yesterday.
15:34Curl's surprise.
15:37And accidentally ended up going to get an ear piercing.
15:41Two.
15:41Well, no, because I wanted it lower, and then I had to have another one.
15:45Why is it infected already?
15:46It's not infected.
15:47It's very, very crusty at the moment.
15:48I just had it done yesterday.
15:50Very red as well.
15:50When I walked in, I thought immediately how good they look.
15:52I'll take them out when I realise that I'm not 25 anymore.
15:59Mum, me and Ollie, they've got a lovely bond.
16:01They've known each other for over 15 years.
16:03So when we are all together, it does feel like he's family.
16:07Well, I'm very much looking forward to my birthday lunch.
16:10I just can't believe you're this age already, darling.
16:13Another five years, and I'm 40.
16:15Oh, my God.
16:16Don't tell anyone, will you?
16:18Obviously, this one's coming.
16:19You're coming.
16:20Lucy and Rosie.
16:22Do they get along?
16:23I think so, yeah.
16:25I don't see them getting along.
16:26I don't see the two of them as being a match.
16:29They're so different.
16:29But possibly.
16:30I think they're quite similar, in some ways.
16:32Well, either way, it's going to be gorgeous.
16:35Yeah.
16:35There'll be a few punch-ups.
16:36There's so much better.
16:37There'll be no punch-ups.
16:37I know.
16:38Wouldn't it be wonderful?
16:40So much fun.
16:43I'll be holding on to my face
16:49Freedom is calling.
16:52So show me the light.
16:54Are you excited?
16:56So excited.
16:58You're the reason we're here.
17:00I know.
17:00I'm sorry.
17:01I couldn't believe that James agreed to go to couples therapy.
17:04It was...
17:06I honestly thought it was a battle that I was never going to win.
17:10Hi.
17:11Hello.
17:12Would you like to come through?
17:13Yes, sure.
17:13Let's do it.
17:13Follow me, please.
17:15I felt like until we actually sat down with someone, it was just going to...
17:19He was going to keep avoiding the subject.
17:21So I really need a professional opinion.
17:25The session is going to be an hour long.
17:27It's a lot of therapising.
17:29Therapy.
17:31It's a lot.
17:32The question is, what brings you to therapy?
17:35Okay.
17:36James and I have definitely bickered and argued more over the last probably 12 months than ever before.
17:42My perspective is the last year has been quite mental for us, as in we've moved into a building site.
17:51It's just short-term shit, which we'll soon be out of and all will be rosy.
17:57The way that we speak to each other is not conducive for a happy and healthy relationship long term.
18:02You'd like things to be better.
18:04Yeah, I would.
18:05When there isn't an issue, I won't make an issue, whereas you will bang your head against the wall until
18:09you can create an issue.
18:11James would never choose to address an issue.
18:14I think he just thinks in time said issue will just go away and I am very confrontational.
18:21I like to address things head on and I think sometimes that can be a bit exhausting for him.
18:26Maybe he thinks I'm making things into a bigger deal than they are.
18:29What have you heard him express?
18:32It's more work-related stuff, like why do you need to have this meeting today?
18:37Why do you need to have that Zoom call?
18:38I don't question that.
18:39Okay, okay, so...
18:40You have said to me...
18:42So, Lucy...
18:42...with meetings and stuff that I take the piss.
18:44Sometimes you do.
18:45But when it's work...
18:47I don't say it when it's work.
18:49Lucy.
18:49You do, James.
18:51I know I'm awake, but nothing's the same.
18:57Won't let anybody stop this feeling.
19:01Warfreck.
19:03Stop eating all the crisps, you cheeky boy.
19:07You cheeky...
19:10Now I'm 35, it's made me aware that we are getting older and I'm a mother.
19:16I have a responsibility to make sure I'm keeping an eye on my health and making sure I'm there for
19:21as long as possible for them.
19:22You're going to give me a kiss?
19:24My prince.
19:25My prince.
19:26I love you so much.
19:28As soon as you push out that first baby, you are no longer your priority.
19:32You are, like, back of the queue.
19:34So what I have organised is for me to go and speak to someone about MS.
19:39I don't know if I've got the gene or not, but you said I possibly could have the gene.
19:43Well, only that I have and my aunt had.
19:45Yeah.
19:46So we both...
19:46And I don't know if it is a gene, darling.
19:48This is where I'm going, because I have no idea about anything.
19:50I'm thrilled you're doing it.
19:52I'd like to talk to someone about it.
19:53Yeah, agreed.
19:54Would you like me to come with you?
19:56If you'd like to.
19:57My mum's always been very keen for me to keep an eye on my health, the order I'm getting,
20:04she would watch me from a young age falling over or complain about my knees.
20:11She'd see things that I did, which would remind her what she used to do.
20:15So I've always been very in tune with getting my health checked.
20:19And it just makes you sleep better at night.
20:23Oh.
20:24Hello.
20:25You just snuck in.
20:26How's it going?
20:26Hello.
20:27You all right?
20:27Oh, that looks like a big tool.
20:29It's, uh, it is a big tool, yeah.
20:31My missus Henry.
20:32Hello.
20:32Nice to meet you.
20:33Hi, Jane.
20:33Hi, Henry.
20:34I'm not a special guest.
20:35I'm a very firm gardener.
20:36Lovely to meet you, darling.
20:37Lovely to see you, Henry.
20:39It was gorgeous.
20:40Actually, so is he gorgeous.
20:43I mean, what the fuck was that?
20:44I know.
20:46Right up my strass.
20:47It's even better in the heat.
20:49I can imagine.
20:50Better in the heat.
20:51I'm a married man.
20:51I'm a married man.
20:52It's gorgeous.
20:53This garden has got some amazing trees and plants in.
20:56Mature garden.
20:58That's where you're so fortunate.
20:59Have you got a mature garden?
21:03Oh, Olly.
21:05I knew I couldn't talk to you.
21:07I know when you look at me like that, I know it's always dangerous.
21:11No.
21:12You haven't at all grown up, have you, really?
21:15No, sorry.
21:16Yes, I have a very mature garden.
21:18Oh, I don't want to hear it.
21:19I've seen it so many times.
21:21No.
21:22No, they've gone now.
21:24There's only time left.
21:26Mummy!
21:29Fuck, I love life sometimes.
21:33I don't want to think too hard.
21:36Just ride the wave above the water.
21:39You guys are coming from opposite ends of the spectrum.
21:41Okay.
21:42This is about kind of attachment theory.
21:44There's usually one person that's a bit avoidantly attached,
21:47and they're called avoidant dismissive,
21:49and then the other person is anxiously attached.
21:51Um, so this is very, very standard.
21:54They tend to pair up.
21:55Are they compatible?
21:56I've lured in an anxious clinger, and I can't get rid of it.
21:58I've lured in a dismissive douche.
22:00Got a big old anxious clinger in the net.
22:02Okay, well.
22:04You know, one person is more relaxed,
22:07feels quite safe and secure in the whole thing,
22:09but the other person is to feel nervous about even slight things.
22:13If you can have empathy for that,
22:15and if you can react with kind of maybe gentleness
22:19and reassurance and holding,
22:22I think that I...
22:24Exactly.
22:26My little anxious clinger, come in.
22:28Exactly.
22:29That kind of thing would go a long way.
22:32Okay.
22:32Do you know what I mean?
22:33Yeah.
22:34I think I'm quite an affectionate person.
22:37I know it sounds not like me,
22:38but when I'm with someone,
22:39I'm very affectionate and I'm very caring.
22:42So if I've gone to bed and we haven't even hugged that day,
22:44I'm like, oh, I think I need that intimacy.
22:47Yeah, I think it's more important to me than it is to him.
22:51If you go and, you know, give a kiss,
22:54give a cuddle from behind,
22:55and that's your act of smoothing things over...
22:59She likes the sound of that.
23:00...of clearing the air,
23:01because that would feel good, right?
23:03Yeah.
23:03If something happens.
23:04Sometimes I just...
23:05That would go a long way, right?
23:06He's not awful to me, by any means,
23:08but if he says harsh, snappy things,
23:10he doesn't seem to feel bad about it at all.
23:12Yeah, okay, I get that.
23:14I don't even feel like I even mean it,
23:16so it's kind of just like a...
23:17But, James, those little feelings
23:20are the reason why you guys have been brought here today.
23:23Yeah, I get that.
23:24The build-up of those little, little feelings.
23:26Okay, I'll come and give you a little cuddle.
23:30It wouldn't hurt.
23:32It sounds like you guys are just squeezed in all directions.
23:37Your lives have changed.
23:39Navigating that change is kind of where we're at.
23:42Yeah.
23:57The thought of having MS obviously is worrying.
24:00It's a horrific disease,
24:02and my mum is having a terrible time with it.
24:04And I'm hoping by going to this meeting,
24:07I gain more insight
24:09and just learn more about the disease.
24:13I'm Bal Athwal, I'm a neurologist,
24:16and hopefully I'll be able to speak to you
24:18about the condition and what to look for.
24:21Okay, right, thank you.
24:22So, multiple sclerosis we think of
24:24as an inflammatory disease primarily
24:27of the central nervous system.
24:29We're learning more and more about it
24:31as the years go by,
24:32but unfortunately we still don't fully understand
24:35what causes the condition.
24:36But then I guess, what signs?
24:38I trip up occasionally
24:40and I don't really know
24:42what, I guess, signs to look out for.
24:44Let's say that you developed
24:46a sensory change in your legs.
24:49Okay.
24:50And that sensory change evolved
24:52and got worse over hours,
24:54perhaps a couple of days,
24:55and then it kind of seems to stabilise
24:57and then it gradually goes away.
24:59We will quite frequently as neurologists
25:02be asked to see patients,
25:03particularly young women,
25:04who have sensory symptoms
25:07or might be feeling clumsy,
25:09and there's often this concern,
25:11could this person have MS?
25:12Most of the time that doesn't come to anything.
25:15Okay.
25:15Most of the time we can reassure.
25:18Having seen it firsthand with my mother,
25:20I'd hate for my children to have to see me
25:23go through the same thing
25:24as I've had to see my mum go through.
25:26There is a genetic link,
25:27but it's a very weak genetic link
25:29so far as we know.
25:31Okay.
25:31So if you've got a first-degree family relative,
25:34meaning sister, brother, mother,
25:35that kind of thing,
25:36then your chances are higher,
25:38but they're still quite low.
25:39Okay.
25:40All right.
25:40Well, that's all sounding pretty good to me.
25:43I'm thrilled of it.
25:44Yeah.
25:44I'm very grateful that we've seen you,
25:46pleased that we've seen you.
25:47To be told that the chances of us
25:50having MS were quite low,
25:52I was obviously very relieved.
25:54I do feel like a weight has been lifted.
26:19Oh, such a little adventure out of London.
26:20It really makes a difference, doesn't it?
26:22It really does, especially in this weather.
26:23Heaven.
26:24How pretty twins does this look?
26:25Oh, I can't wait.
26:27Love coming here.
26:34What's left to do?
26:35So we've just got the bead in
26:36around the top to run around.
26:37Handles.
26:38Okay.
26:39And painting.
26:40I'm shooting the cover of my book
26:41in here on the 14th.
26:43Think it would be ready for them?
26:44I would have thought so, yeah.
26:45That's all I care about.
26:46Literally, that it's ready for them.
26:54Right, time to oil up.
26:59Are you tight anywhere?
27:03Everywhere.
27:09I do feel like Rosie does bring out that
27:13kind of naughtier, filthier side of me.
27:17Mummy friends might be a little bit too serious
27:20and talking about grades at school
27:22or someone's football team
27:24and actually, you just want to talk about blowjobs.
27:30Well, that, my bear cub.
27:33Wasn't that heaven?
27:34Heaven.
27:34Oh, the dream.
27:35She got right in there.
27:37Oh, did she?
27:37Right in there.
27:38Did you get the happy ending
27:39that I paid extra for?
27:40Is that why I got it?
27:42Oh, my God.
27:43Thanks, babe.
27:45That's a little birthday treat-y.
27:47I think if you don't know Rosie very well,
27:50Rosie's honesty can be a bit much,
27:52but it is one of the reasons why I love her.
27:54I've actually just started getting something
27:55called PRP on my hair.
27:58I'm just on this hair journey
27:59and I want the thickest hair possible.
28:01Babes, I mean, I lent you some of mine.
28:03I've got it all over.
28:03I know, you're so lucky.
28:04I've got it all over the shop.
28:05Oh, you have got it all over the shop, babe.
28:07I've seen it.
28:08So, what is it?
28:09Sorry, so it's...
28:10They take the plasma out,
28:11they take your blood,
28:12they separate the plasma from your blood
28:14and then they...
28:15I don't know whether I'm getting this wrong
28:17and they inject back into your scalp
28:19and it's meant to be really good for hair growth.
28:22I think I look pretty good for 35
28:24and I want to live a long life.
28:26I want to be healthy and, you know, look decent.
28:30What's the point in living until 90
28:31if you look like shit?
28:33How's things with you, babe?
28:35Everything going well with the man.
28:40So, we've slightly put it on pause.
28:46Oh, babe, I'm sorry.
28:47You know what?
28:48It's really difficult.
28:49He is so special
28:52and the most amazing person I've ever met.
28:58He is a solo father.
29:00Yeah.
29:00So, it's kind of a new avenue for me as well
29:04and I think he wasn't expecting to meet me
29:08and I think, for now,
29:09we're just going to take a bit of time
29:12and see.
29:14Put it on the back burner for a bit.
29:15Mm-hmm.
29:16I don't have the strength
29:22to actually, like, speak to anyone else
29:23but I don't want to close the doors to him.
29:26Let's just see what happens.
29:27Okay.
29:27From what you've told me already,
29:29he sounds like a decent man.
29:30He's not going to mess you around.
29:33It sounds like he's doing a decent thing
29:34by being honest now.
29:35Yeah, yeah.
29:36It probably gets too serious.
29:36Yeah, absolutely.
29:38I just...
29:39Yeah.
29:40He's, uh...
29:41He is different to anyone I've met before
29:45and I really just admire everything about him
29:48and he's a fucking amazing father
29:51and he makes me feel seen
29:55like I've never been seen before.
29:56It's like we really get each other, so...
29:58Amazing.
29:59Let's see.
30:00To see someone be such an incredible father
30:03made me think, you know,
30:06if that was something for us in our future,
30:07he would be an incredible father to my children
30:09and it was kind of the respect that we had for each other
30:13that we realised that, like,
30:14now, unfortunately, is not our time.
30:18Yeah.
30:19Things will happen if they're meant to happen.
30:21I've always believed in that.
30:22Yeah, definitely.
30:23And you just remember that as well.
30:24Yeah.
30:39I know you've moved the country,
30:41but you don't have to be, like, three hours late.
30:43Oh, my God, I'm so sorry.
30:45I'm so sorry.
30:46I'm joking.
30:54Gorgeous.
30:54Nice.
30:55Drawing it back up using that four count.
30:57You're going to hold it down now.
30:59Good.
30:59Hold it.
30:59Shoulders down away from those ears.
31:01Ribs in.
31:01You're chilling.
31:02You're in your happy place.
31:03You're anywhere but here, probably.
31:04You're on holiday.
31:05Good.
31:05You're breathing.
31:09What do you normally go for in here?
31:11I love the, um, steel-cut oat porridge.
31:15Which is so boring.
31:16Porridge.
31:17And the, um, avocado toast sticks got crispy chickpeas.
31:20It's like...
31:21Mmm.
31:22What do you want?
31:22I'm going to go for something like the baked eggs.
31:25Right.
31:26With a little bit of lamb on the side.
31:28Oh, my God, ew.
31:30You're such an antagonist, aren't you?
31:32You just love winding me up in life.
31:34I think he does get away with murder with me
31:36because there are certain things that she does
31:38or she's trying to wind me up
31:39and I'm like, if this was anyone else...
31:43I wonder how you're going to find living in the country.
31:46Everyone says, good morning.
31:47How are you?
31:48Are you the kind of person that says good morning
31:50to everyone on a dog walk?
31:51That's James.
31:52Good morning.
31:53Yes, I do, actually, because they're very smiley.
31:55I won't ask them how they are,
31:57so I don't really care.
31:58But I'd say good morning, at least.
32:00I can see that in you.
32:01Or I'd say, sorry, excuse me, your dog's done a poo.
32:04Are you that person?
32:06Are you that person?
32:07I'm joking, are you what?
32:08Are you that person?
32:09I don't let the dog poo when my kids play
32:11and not tell them to pick it up.
32:12Obviously, I pick it up,
32:13but what I hate is when the poo is still coming out.
32:16No, no, no, I won't do that.
32:16And someone goes,
32:18let me get the bag out of my fucking pocket, please.
32:21I ate poo when I was a child.
32:23Did you?
32:24Yeah.
32:24My mum caught me eating dog shit.
32:28Okay.
32:28Well, that's interesting.
32:29I mean, she said to my mum,
32:31I was like, sorry, how did you let that happen?
32:35Thank you so much.
32:36Very hot to be good.
32:37Thank you so much.
32:37That looks delicious.
32:38Anyway, I just want to hear about you
32:40because you've got a lot going on.
32:42So, James and I went to therapy.
32:44It's great.
32:45The good thing is,
32:46is that James and I spoke
32:47about our issues
32:48more than we ever have
32:50in a space that was quiet.
32:51In a controlled environment.
32:53What's the reason
32:54you guys went in the first place?
32:56We were just arguing so much
32:57about the same things
32:58and a lot of it was arguing about our time.
33:01So, I'm really prioritising my career.
33:03I really want to be super successful.
33:05I want to make shitloads of money.
33:07And do you find it tricky,
33:08the fact he is not going to work every day?
33:11You like that?
33:12I actually like it
33:13because I really want one of us
33:14to be at home with Wilbs.
33:16Does he want to do it?
33:17To be honest,
33:19a lot of the time he does say,
33:20like, can't we just put him in nursery
33:21or something like that?
33:22But part of me is like,
33:23well, what are you going to do all day?
33:26When I had India,
33:28I became a single mum quite quickly
33:30and I needed some help.
33:33Nursery was a really positive thing
33:34and it gave me some space
33:36to be me again.
33:37So, I completely understand
33:39why James feels the need
33:41to have a break from parenting.
33:42It's a lot.
33:43And although he's not working every day,
33:45you're still around a child.
33:47You can't switch off.
33:49Well, I'm very excited
33:50for your birthday.
33:51Looking forward to seeing everyone.
33:52That's going to be so nice to celebrate.
33:53Have you spoken to Rosie at all?
33:55No.
33:55You haven't?
33:56No.
33:57Not since we last filmed.
33:58What?
34:00Back in the day on Made in Chelsea,
34:02Rosie and I didn't really get on.
34:03I never really figured out why.
34:06I feel like she just kind of
34:08had a problem with me,
34:09didn't really like me
34:10and my vibe or whatever.
34:13And any opportunity that she got
34:15to have a little pop at me,
34:16she was right there, ready.
34:18I kind of feel like
34:20I am at a place
34:21where I'm happy to be friendly
34:24and I have to say
34:26most of the time
34:27I don't feel like it's reciprocated.
34:29I feel like she has
34:31zero interest in my life
34:32and very little interest
34:34in being friendly and polite.
34:36There's something I can't
34:37like figure out with her.
34:39She's quite cold.
34:40I know I'm cold too.
34:41But I don't know if it's
34:44that she just doesn't like me.
34:46I don't think she doesn't like you.
34:47What do you think it is?
34:49I don't know.
34:50I do feel like I am slightly
34:51in the middle between Lucy and Rosie.
34:53I honestly thought things
34:55were going pretty well last year,
34:56but it does feel like maybe
34:58this whole situation
35:01isn't going to change.
35:03You're both pretty strong
35:04businesswomen.
35:05That's why I think
35:06you're quite similar, but...
35:07Oh, you do?
35:08Well, you are.
35:09You're both strong.
35:10You're strong, independent
35:11businesswomen.
35:12OK.
35:13Let's see how the birthday
35:14lunch goes
35:17and see what it's like
35:18when you see her.
35:21MUSIC PLAYS
35:22MUSIC PLAYS
35:22MUSIC PLAYS
35:23MUSIC PLAYS
35:27MUSIC PLAYS
35:28MUSIC PLAYS
35:58You look amazing.
35:59No, do you, honey.
36:01How are you?
36:08Hello.
36:09Don't you look gorgeous?
36:13So gorgeous.
36:14I'm hanging.
36:16So normal.
36:17I love you.
36:18You look stunning.
36:19You look heaven.
36:19Rosie, you look glorious.
36:21I mean, she's such a bitch, isn't she?
36:22She always looks so well put together.
36:25Well, she's certainly well put together,
36:27but she looks beautiful.
36:28Glass of champagne?
36:29It'll help the hangover.
36:30Oh, yes, please.
36:31I went to this thing called Tuna Fight Club
36:34at the supermarket of dreams
36:35and they wheel out a £13,000 tuna
36:39and if I eat tuna ever again,
36:40I'm going to vomit.
36:41It was my friend's divorce party.
36:43But it was really good fun.
36:44Thank you so much.
36:45So you are there with James and Lucy.
36:49But by the way,
36:50everything is fine with you and Lucy, isn't it?
36:53Yeah, I mean,
36:53it's the show that's brought us together.
36:55There's no issue.
36:55But had the show not brought us together,
36:58this wouldn't even be a thing to discuss.
37:02I just don't think I have anything to relate to with Lucy.
37:07For her, being vegan is like her identity.
37:10And for me, I love eating steak.
37:14It's not my identity, though.
37:18It's...
37:19Oh.
37:23Well, you wouldn't have to go today
37:24if it could be tomorrow.
37:25If you can go, go today.
37:26Go today.
37:27Well...
37:27Go today.
37:31OK, all right, thank you.
37:33Cheers, bye-bye.
37:35I'm now just freaking out because obviously the stone was supposed to get fitted today and it doesn't fit
37:41I think it's quite an easy thing to fix to be honest
37:46Really?
37:47What do you want me to say? We'll have to burn the kitchen down
37:51If you want, I'll take the flowers. Okay, cool. Well, maybe you should take them. You can give them to
37:56Rosie
37:57Say, hun, I missed ya. I thought I'd put flowers
38:02Um, no, probably not
38:05Hello
38:06How are you?
38:10Hello, my boy
38:15Oh, hello
38:16Happy birthday
38:18Guys, how's it going?
38:21Good, how are you?
38:22How are you doing? Good. Thank you. How are you doing? Yeah, good. Thank you
38:30It felt a bit awkward because I hadn't seen Lucy in a while and we're not friends
38:35If it wasn't for Binky's birthday, we're not gonna hang out
38:40Delicious
38:40Wow, thank you so much. It does look delicious
38:43How have you been Rosie?
38:45Good, thank you
38:46I've seen you in ages
38:47I thought I'd bump into you more and pass the screen because I'm always in that
38:51I've just been busy just working. I went to the Bahamas to see my sister, which was lovely
38:54Nice
38:55Yeah
38:57I think you said that you're dating someone
38:59Mm, that's exciting
39:00Mm-hmm
39:01Yeah
39:03How long have you been dating?
39:04Um
39:06A few months
39:08Nice
39:08Yeah
39:08How is that going?
39:10Doing all right?
39:11Yeah, it's great. Thanks guys
39:13Oh, you don't want to talk about it?
39:15I don't know
39:16Oh, I don't know either
39:17No, it's fine
39:18Sorry, I don't know either
39:21Soon as Lucy mentioned Rosie's dating life, my heart did drop
39:25She's now on pause with this man
39:28I mean, you're not going to be in the best headspace
39:30You're going to be feeling a bit shit
39:32So, it was probably the worst question to be asked that time
39:37By probably the worst person
39:41Did you know that I was going to go and see a neurologist about MS?
39:44I didn't know
39:45Did you not?
39:46No
39:46Well, I did
39:46And it was actually a really positive chance
39:51Apparently, MS is genetic
39:53Right
39:53But there's a very small chance that we might have it
39:58Well, that's good news
39:59Yeah
40:00But by my age, you knew you had something really wrong with you
40:03100% yeah
40:04I did you as early as that
40:05I never knew I had it
40:06I knew there was something wrong with me
40:07But I still went on and did the things that were fun
40:10Right
40:11If you'd known you'd had MS, you wouldn't have attempted to ski
40:14You wouldn't have attempted to play tennis
40:16You'd have stopped
40:16Yeah, it would have held you back
40:18So it's good that you didn't know
40:19Yeah, quite
40:19I went for a quick meeting yesterday
40:21And we had nine bottles of wine between four of us
40:23Four?
40:24My God
40:25You're not hanging out your ass
40:26I would be dead
40:27I'd be dead
40:28Absolutely fine
40:28Do you feel fine now?
40:29I feel fine now
40:30Were you there too?
40:32No, I went to a divorce party last night
40:34Oh
40:37Love that
40:39I honestly don't know if she's like, why are you even talking to me
40:42Or if it's that she just doesn't actually have the capability to converse on a level with someone
40:50I get the vibe that she thinks she's better than everyone else
40:53I find it quite strenuous to be mentally engaged by her
40:57I just don't think you need to be fake and go that extra mile to be interested in someone's life
41:04when
41:06I couldn't really care less
41:09How's Willoughby?
41:10Yeah, Willoughby's good
41:11He's signed with a modelling agent
41:13Mine got rejected
41:14Did they?
41:15Yeah, I thought, cheeky cunts
41:17They said, they are cute, but we'll wait till they're four
41:21Okay
41:22How does that pie taste?
41:24I said, thanks
41:29How are you finding being in a building site with a toddler?
41:33Stressful as fuck
41:33But I think we're at the point where the light is at the end of the tunnel
41:36Have you ever had therapy?
41:38Oh, what? As a marriage therapy?
41:40I think it's important
41:41I think it's really, I think a lot of couples need that
41:43I kind of saw therapy as last resort
41:45Yeah
41:45Whereas Lucy, as you know, is very proactive
41:47And she sees it as if we learn one thing that makes things better in our relationship
41:51Then it's a good thing
41:52It makes you a team again
41:53We definitely felt closer afterwards, didn't we?
41:55Yeah
41:55And we've argued a lot less
41:58Sometimes in a relationship, the wife maybe
42:00Has to get the man in a good mood
42:03Before he will open up to be able to even contemplate the fact that he might be wrong about something
42:09But I wouldn't marry someone in the first place who I hadn't
42:12I didn't have an open relationship where you can speak
42:16You know, you want to make sure that the foundations of that are there in the beginning
42:21So that you're not trying to pick the best time to speak to your husband
42:24I couldn't think of anything worse than walking on eggshells
42:27But you don't always know because every marriage starts with great happiness
42:30Yeah
42:30But you get, things get lost in translation
42:33Stressful situations mean that you just, like, don't prioritise it
42:36Which I really wanted to prioritise it, so that's how we went
42:41I don't think Rosie has the ability to understand where I'm coming from with this situation
42:44Because she isn't in a marriage, she doesn't have kids
42:47You just don't know what the fuck you're talking about
42:49But thank you
42:51Thank you for your input
42:52Come bearing gifts from your husband, Max
42:55Aww, amazing!
42:57That's very lovely
42:58My favourite bottle
42:59And we like Brunard as well
43:00It means he's spent a pennant, which we liked
43:02Well done, Max
43:04It's gone up in your estimation
43:05Well done, Max
43:05That's sweet, that's thoughtful
43:06That's a good boy
43:08Let's get rid of this garbage
43:09It's forgiven
43:09Yeah
43:10Get rid of that, actually
43:11That cheap house shit you bought
43:12It's my favourite
43:13There is
43:14So, I had some help from Tally to write a poem for you
43:19Aww
43:21I hope I can do it justice
43:23Binks, to know and love you is to have a friend for life
43:26A wonderful bestie, businesswoman, mummy and wife
43:30It was filming Made in Chelsea, where we first met
43:3315 years of friendship, memories I won't forget
43:39We've come a long way
43:40Less hair extensions and fake tan
43:43We lived through a wild night out
43:45And a fun last minute plan
43:47You've consistently had my back
43:50You're loving and kind
43:52We all enjoy how you will say whatever comes to mind
44:00I...I did feel...a little bit sick
44:04You're one in a million Binks
44:06A best friend that I treasure
44:08I promise to always be there for you and your family forever
44:11Aww
44:11I feel so immensely proud of who you are and everything you do
44:15So here's to your birthday, to friendship, but mostly here's to you
44:20Aww, thank you, my girl
44:23I love you, happy birthday
44:25It was just, like, sickly sweet
44:29And also, it's her 35th birthday, not her wedding
44:32I'm so tired now, I've got to work when I get home
44:35I drank last night, yeah
44:36Are you going to go and see your boyfriend?
44:38No
44:39Is he not your boyfriend?
44:41I'm going to go home, no
44:42Okay
44:43That's why you don't want to talk about it
44:45It's over
44:46Is it over?
44:47No
44:48Is it actually?
44:48Yeah
44:49No, that's really sad, I'm sorry
44:53You okay?
45:22Yeah
45:23Thank you, Binks
45:24Cheers
45:24Happy birthday
45:26Cheers
45:26Happy birthday
45:27Cheers
45:28That was a very nice speech
45:30That was a lovely speech
45:30We love you
45:31Love you too
45:32And thank you for my parents
45:42Cute
45:43Love that
45:44Hi, Willoughby
45:45You're a pro
45:48I got shit on
45:50I do want to talk about the kitchen
45:52Will people be able to cook and use the kitchen
45:55I thought you were a bit quiet with Lucy
45:57I'm just, like, not friends with her, that's the thing
45:59I'm prepared to be, like, civil and be friendly for Binky's sake
46:02And I feel like she's just, like, can't even do that
46:06So, Lucy's book, we're going to launch?
46:08Yes
46:08Who are we waiting for, actually?
46:10Oh, Tiff
46:10Tiff's coming
46:11Oh, Tiff
46:12And Rosie
46:13She said, I eat meat and I have no interest in vegan food
46:16What?
46:19Good
46:20Great
46:21Good
46:22Good
46:22Good
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