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00:28Transcribed by ESO, translated by —
00:30I'm not afraid to die today, I could have chose somebody else to love.
00:41Give me the gun, I'll take the blame, and cover up your darker shade of blood.
00:52I'll feel the rain, and turn the pain into gold.
01:10Hello?
01:19Mommy Baba?
01:20Ah!
01:26Q!
01:27Thank-you!
01:29And you?
01:44THE U.S.
02:24You can tell me if he's here or not you can't keep him you can't keep him unless you charge
02:30him
02:30Have you charged him like I said to me? I need to know if he's here. I've been sat there
02:34for over an hour now
02:35Listen someone is going to come and talk to you in a minute. So you need to go take a
02:38seat. Okay, I'll give you ten minutes
02:40Then I'm taking your name and number
02:45Hi, I'd like to
02:49Yeah, I'd like to report a missing family
02:56Whole family's gone missing have they? Yes, I think they've been kidnapped by terrorists
03:04But domestic ones
03:07White ones
03:11Q you are are a T
03:16Hyphen u l hyphen a I n
03:19Two hyphens okay. Yeah, that's that's what you guys like you
03:22Okay, I want to go back to the the bust-up that you said you had with your family
03:27Well, that's not really that relevant what um because what I'm saying is if you just hack into this
03:32This was set up in the living room. So whatever's taken place will definitely have been recorded on this
03:37Yeah, so so if we can just get into that so that's a very different kind of investigation
03:41It's a much longer process cyber crime really and this falls under missing persons
03:45So all we're trying to do is just help you fine. Why didn't you report the pig's head when you
03:50first got it?
03:51Sorry, well, it's just details. Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course
03:53I mean
03:54What that was that's that's different. I'm reporting this crime now alleged crime
04:01I'm sorry maybe me a bit paranoid
04:03Am I am I like a suspect or something like that in this case easy now, you know
04:07No one said anything about a suspect
04:09We just need to ask questions sir in order to conduct a proper investigation. So that's why I'm asking why
04:15didn't you report the pig's head?
04:18I thought I could handle it myself with my
04:21Private security consultant you got a security consultant because I'm an actor and I'm in the news
04:25Sorry, you're in the you're in the news. Yeah, I might be the next James Bond
04:31Wait, wait, wait, wait, so you're saying that you're actually like a famous act
04:35I didn't say famous. No, I just said well actually yes, my bond
04:40Callback is later on this afternoon, but I can't be there if I'm here and I'm here because my right
04:43So so I'm just making sure we've got private security detail
04:47auditioning to be the next
04:49James Bond
04:52And got sent the severed pig's head by by racist trolls
04:55I did because they don't want me to be the next James Bond right which is why these people have
04:59also abducted your family
05:03That's my current working theory
05:04You sound completely fucking mental
05:12Okay, mate, um give us a few minutes and we'll be right back
05:22You've got to be kidding me
05:26What in the shitting hell are you doing man if you give your mouth shut then maybe I can focus
05:33focus on this
05:34You sentient ballbag you should be at home preparing for the audition
05:39Ouch and you most certainly should not be here
05:42You're not the hero of this story to them
05:45You're the villain trust me
05:48They're gonna google me and when they do they're gonna see all the bond chat and they're gonna see that
05:51I'm telling the truth
05:52And then they can tell the papers how you showed up here with a severed pig's head
05:57Think you turgid gimp
05:59Think
06:02Think
06:05Completely
06:06Completely
06:08Thanks
06:18Oh, sorry.
06:21Be cool, man.
06:23Police are going to be watching.
06:24I'm not.
06:25I'm just looking for my family.
06:26That's not a crime, is it?
06:27Hey, calm the fuck down.
06:28I saved you back there.
06:30All right.
06:30OK, I'm sorry.
06:31And thank you.
06:33That's more like it.
06:34All you've got to do is walk normally.
06:37Hey, very weird walk, man.
06:40Very, very...
06:41Be normal.
06:43Hey, this is normal.
06:56Ouch.
06:57Oh, whoopsie-daisy.
06:58Gently, cockfingers.
07:01OK, lock the doors, close the curtains.
07:03Let's run lines.
07:04Auditions in eight hours.
07:07Wait.
07:08Where are you going?
07:09I need to find the right USB.
07:11The only camera that matters is at the screen test.
07:16Shah, time's running out.
07:19Say the words with me.
07:22Do you want to know what it's like doing the dirty work?
07:27Fighting everyone and being no one?
07:30I don't live with myself.
07:33Come on, come on.
07:35Hello?
07:36I'm giving you gold here.
07:39Oh, yes.
07:40That's right, motherfucker.
07:43This is all a distraction.
07:46Classic self-sabotage.
07:48Huh, shit.
07:50Come on.
07:55Fuck.
07:55You're not afraid for your family.
07:58You're afraid of success.
08:01Even if they have been kidnapped, you're no superhero spy.
08:06Becoming one should be our focus.
08:10Why don't you try helping for a change?
08:12I am helping.
08:14The only version of you that has any value to your family or anyone else is Bond.
08:20Shut the fuck up.
08:23Oh, God.
08:24Selfies as basic as they come.
08:26Try his birthday, obviously.
08:29Oh.
08:30Huh.
08:35Oh, fuck.
08:36You don't even know his birthday?
08:38Some brother you are.
08:40Okay, we don't know.
08:42Come we get back to work.
08:47The security consultant?
08:49Oh, yeah.
08:50If you were this obsessive about your craft, you'd have a career.
08:55Oh, yeah.
08:56Oh, yeah.
08:58Oh, yeah.
09:06This is a security resolution.
09:09If you see something that doesn't work right, speak to star or text British Transport Police on 61016.
09:18This is a waste of time.
09:29Oh, shit.
09:30What?
09:31We've got a problem.
09:32We've got dogs.
09:33Oh, dear.
09:34I'm dry-aged, you realize.
09:36Turn around now.
09:37I can't turn around.
09:38They spotted us.
09:39It'll be suspicious.
09:40You're a sweaty brown man with a blood-stained duffel bag.
09:43You're already fucking suspicious.
09:46Let's just shut out, okay?
09:47Just have some faith.
09:49You want to act, aren't I?
09:51Oh, God.
09:54Excuse me, sir.
09:57I'm not doing anything.
09:58I'm not even here to catch a train.
10:01Oh, God.
10:03No, no.
10:04I'm just going to get back.
10:05Do you mind if I take walking the bug soon?
10:07Damn, boy.
10:08What's in the bug soon?
10:10Stop it, you fucker.
10:11Sir, that won't be necessary.
10:19Yep.
10:22Did you say something?
10:23Good, ma'am.
10:24Have a good day.
10:28How did you see that?
10:29Well, I've still got a few tricks.
10:30Something I see when it comes to law enforcement?
10:33Must be nice to be tall and white, huh?
10:37Membership has its privileges, shall we?
10:40It's a complete fucking mess.
10:42I tried to go to the police.
10:43Well, there's your first mistake there.
10:44Come on, man.
10:45We're going to find your family.
10:46All right?
10:47Okay.
10:48Okay.
10:49It feels good to hear you say that.
10:50Because nobody believes me.
10:52I like him.
10:52He makes me feel safe.
10:54I'm going to put a call out on something called the Kilner system.
10:57All right?
10:57Now, luckily, Wembley is CCTV to the hilt.
11:00So if your family have been on any street, actually, in London in the last eight hours,
11:04I will be able to track their exact location down to the inch.
11:07And as soon as I get a ping, you'll be the first to know.
11:10Really?
11:10Yeah, man.
11:12All good.
11:13That's fucking amazing.
11:15I didn't realize your company had that kind of reach.
11:18My company has the biggest reach there is.
11:21All right?
11:21Don't worry.
11:21Look, listen.
11:21Here's the thing, right?
11:22Your family.
11:23That's today's problem.
11:24Yeah?
11:24And what about tomorrow's problem?
11:26Now, do you want to be reactive or do you want to be proactive?
11:30I want to be proactive.
11:31Of course you fucking do.
11:32You are on the precipice of something massive.
11:35And all that backlash that you've been experiencing recently, it will only get worse.
11:39Trust me, I know.
11:40I've fucked the audition and my prospects have gone down the toilet.
11:44So, listen, I wouldn't be here talking to you now if that was the case, would I?
11:51So, you've got your recall later, correct?
11:55Yeah.
11:56Yeah.
11:57So, you're going to go in there, you're going to do your audition, and when you do, those decision makers
12:02will be primed in your favor.
12:09What?
12:10You understand?
12:10How, how, how, how, how are you going to do that?
12:19Are you at my five?
12:23It's okay.
12:25Holy fuck.
12:25Okay.
12:26It's not a big deal.
12:27It's not a big deal.
12:28Okay, listen to me.
12:30I'm the only call you'll ever need to make.
12:34We've got your bag.
12:38What?
12:39There's a catch, isn't there?
12:41No.
12:42I mean, look, every relationship's a two-way street, isn't it?
12:47So, basically, what we're trying to do is we just want to build bridges to your community, and in order
12:55to do that, we rely on individuals such as yourself just to help us with messaging.
13:00You know, as a prominent Muslim, and soon to be more so, your voice, it carries a lot of weight,
13:05Shah.
13:06So, let's use it.
13:07Yeah?
13:10Right.
13:11Shah, let's sidebar now.
13:14Just remember, we're the good guys.
13:16Yeah?
13:16Don't forget that.
13:18Shah!
13:20Obviously, you need the toilet, I'm going to be right back.
13:23Okay, don't go anywhere.
13:25I'll be here.
13:30So?
13:30I mean, that sounds shady as shit, no?
13:33Shah, I was wrong.
13:35Going to Nigel was a masterstroke, albeit an accidental one.
13:39What are you talking about?
13:40He wants me to be a snitch.
13:42Snitch?
13:43He's not asking you to honey-trap an ayatollah, is he?
13:46He's offering you the role of a lifetime in exchange for some light PR work.
13:51I'm not a sell-out fed.
13:53Sorry.
13:53Sell-out?
13:54Well, pardon me, Nelson-pissing Mandela.
13:57You want to star in a franchise that brazenly sells watchers, cars, and the British Secret Service.
14:05This is the only way you will land this role.
14:09I guess I just always thought I was someone who represents us to them.
14:15You know, not them to us.
14:17You're not representing them or us.
14:20This is about you, Shah, and who you want to be.
14:24And put simply, do you want to be talking to a pig's head in a toilet, panicking about your career
14:29and your family?
14:30Or do you want to be the hero of this story?
14:34The ultimate shitting hero?
14:36Because that, my friend, is what is on the table.
14:54Shah?
14:57Shah, what the hell are you doing, man?
15:01Hello?
15:03I'm improvising.
15:04Oh, God.
15:05Actors.
15:10What the hell are you doing, man?
15:18What the hell are you doing, man?
15:22What the hell are you doing, man?
15:22What the hell are you doing, man?
15:23What the hell are you doing, man?
15:24What the hell are you doing, man?
15:24What the hell are you doing, man?
15:25What the hell are you doing, man?
15:25What the hell are you doing, man?
15:25What the hell are you doing, man?
15:27What the hell are you doing, man?
15:28What the hell are you doing, man?
15:30What the hell are you doing, man?
15:32What the hell are you doing, man?
15:35Move!
15:45Watch out!
16:08Okay, okay. What in Satan's gossip did you just do? We were this close?
16:15Answer me!
16:17Hello?
16:17Oh God, more improv. No one's watching you, malodorous pissflap!
16:23What's your problem, man?
16:24My problem is that I care about you, Shah. I want to make you better.
16:29No, it's just because you say that you're trying to help me, but all you're doing is shit on me.
16:32It's tough, love, and it's the only voice you understand.
16:35If I humiliate you, it's to save you from the bigger humiliation of remaining as you are!
16:42You want to chill out?
16:44I'm in control now.
16:46And I know where we're going.
16:50No, no, no! Please, don't fake hang up on me!
16:55You need me!
17:06Time for another time for me, don't forget the time.
17:15The end of my life is going to be completely different.
17:19You need me for a long time.
17:21Oh!
17:22Whatever!
17:22I'll be sorry for you.
17:23You need me for a long time to go.
17:24I'll be there, you want me?
17:26And after all, help me.
17:27I'll be there for the time.
17:29You need to find a big surprise.
17:29Kind of if I have a big surprise.
17:31Okay, I'll do the way for you next time...
17:35Don't leave me out here!
18:03Sorry, I'm not so glad. Excuse me.
18:04As-salamu alaykum. Uncle, can I have a word, please?
18:07Why are you calling me uncle at the same age?
18:09Oh, I mean, I'm...
18:10Sorry, I'm actually here to look for someone,
18:13someone who's gone missing, my brother.
18:16Zulfi, I think you know him.
18:17He's the big guy who does the cabs. Have you seen him?
18:20Well, inshallah, we're just about to start praying,
18:22come and join us, and then afterwards we can talk.
18:24Okay, it's just a bit of an emergency.
18:26Excuse me. As-salamu alaykum, everyone.
18:28My family's gone missing.
18:30Um, uh, my parents, Perviz, Latif,
18:33and my mother, Tyra Latif,
18:34my siblings, Zulfi, and Q, Qura Tal Ain.
18:38I-I-I-I think some of you know them.
18:40I was just wondering if, uh,
18:43if you might have heard anything?
18:44I was just hoping someone might be able to help.
18:46Pig! Pig's head! Pig! Pig's head!
18:51Pig! Pig's head! What the...?
18:52Someone's left a pig's head at the front gate.
18:57You'd probably best to leave that alone.
18:59Get alone. It's...
19:04It's...
19:05He's with me.
19:07It's...
19:07It's with me.
19:08It's mine.
19:09It's mine.
19:18Go the other way!
19:21Quick! Down here!
19:24Quick! Down here!
19:43Hi!
19:46Get him!
19:48Get in the Paki!
19:49Shit!
19:50Look what you've done, Shah.
19:58you owe me an apology mate and a 90 seconds for the algorithm yeah i told you your failures
20:06would catch up to you idf bastard who recruited you mossad idf hundred percent bastard i told you
20:15he's not deep but ill he's much too short you can't handle them alone i told you that you need
20:24to be
20:29him
20:53uh
21:17Let's go!
21:36Yes. Yes. The strong must replace the weak.
21:48Your turn now, Sha.
22:14This is the only way. Can't you see? Surrender. Surrender.
22:40The energy comes through.
22:42The energy comes through.
22:54Oh my God, are you okay?
23:05No.
23:07No.
23:12No.
23:14No.
23:15No.
23:19How bad is this?
23:21No, no, no, it's not bad. It's not bad. It's not too bad.
23:23I feel like it's pretty bad.
23:25Feels like I'm missing an eye.
23:27Am I missing an eye?
23:29You're gonna be okay.
23:30All right? You're gonna be okay.
23:31Oh, it's cold.
23:33It's so cold.
23:35I don't want to die.
23:37Stay. I can't do this without you.
23:40I know you really can't.
23:42But that other guy, though, the one chasing you, he had potential.
23:49Why? Why did you resist?
23:53You tell me. You're the only one who gets it.
23:56You're the only one who gets me.
23:58That's why I need you.
24:00But I don't even know who you were.
24:05I was who you needed me to be.
24:09Hidden inside the voice of Patrick Stewart.
24:12Which is weird.
24:15You might want to unpack that.
24:20No, no, no. Don't go.
24:22No, we're a team. Okay?
24:25Good luck without me.
24:31Dickhead.
24:33Hey.
24:35Hey.
24:38Hey.
24:50And that's just the price of it all.
25:02That's just the price of it all
25:15It's breaking all these walls
25:18Through the rise and fall
25:21I know I can't pretend
25:24That this will never end
25:27If in the end we die
25:30Then I've lost
25:32That's just the price of it all
26:01I know that they come from the bottom
26:02And I'm waiting for it
26:02Okay, let's get here
26:03I know it's what I mean
26:03Yeah, I know
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