- 15 hours ago
Adult Best Friends [Full Movie] [Watch Free Online]Full EP - Full
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00:00:28Satsang with Mooji
00:00:46What are you doing?
00:00:48Nothing.
00:00:50Why are you in here?
00:00:52Maddie said the seventh grade boys are sneaking over for a kissing party.
00:00:55I know. I'm so nervous.
00:00:58Then don't do it.
00:00:58I'm calling my mom to pick me up.
00:01:00You can't. Maddie said we all have to kiss them.
00:01:02I don't want to kiss.
00:01:03Wear thong underpants. I hate thong underpants.
00:01:06But I'm worried if I wear normal underpants and no kissing stuff,
00:01:09then Maddie won't invite me to sleep over as anymore.
00:01:14Well, you could sleep over at mine.
00:01:17Tonight?
00:01:19Yeah. I mean, we're not allowed to watch TV, which sucks.
00:01:21But we could do braids.
00:01:23And I have a trundle bed.
00:01:24I love trundle beds.
00:01:26Do you have a best friend?
00:01:29No.
00:01:31You?
00:01:33No.
00:01:35Take me down, down, I don't know where to go.
00:01:38I can't come out today.
00:01:40And Katie's famous.
00:01:42But I don't give a shit.
00:01:43I've tried my best to live within two weeks.
00:01:47That's the best in me.
00:01:49What's wrong with my life?
00:01:51Yeah.
00:01:51So that's the next feature.
00:01:54You are going to be a doctor.
00:01:56I don't want to be a doctor.
00:02:04This is Katie's future.
00:02:07You can marry me to Daniel.
00:02:11Daniel is my boyfriend.
00:02:19You are going to be a doctor.
00:02:24You are going to be a doctor.
00:02:30You are going to be a doctor.
00:02:45okay read another post give me a hard one uh okay from seattle to savannah what a long strange
00:02:51trip it's been hashtag van life tom bryer how did you know that because tom bryer needs to get a
00:02:58job no no get a good one okay okay this one's hard okay here's to adulting forever with this one
00:03:08he put a ring on it singular exclamation sarah casper you're cheating i'm not cheating i'm that
00:03:13good she's engaged she's a child she's 32 years old sarah casper would throw it all away for like
00:03:22some random guy that was random they've been dating since college do you have any snacks
00:03:27do you have any dinner i had peanut butter and what a spoon oh my god let me make you
00:03:33something
00:03:33i'll just have saltines at home oh my god no i'll make you um make you a turkey burger i
00:03:38can put
00:03:38poblanos on top what's poblanos oh it's a giant mexican pepper it's actually our favorite pepper
00:03:47second only to the jalapeno you'll love it i promise it's really good
00:03:52i'm fine thank you well if you're not hungry maybe you want a joke that i heard today made
00:03:58me think you instantly okay this is very good okay so there there are two pigs in a pit of
00:04:03mud
00:04:03and and the wife pig uh turns to the husband and says no no the husband says to the wife
00:04:09you're right you're right um the the husband pig says to the wife hey did you see farmer
00:04:15should we get going parties are at nine o'clock so you want to go to that yeah really my
00:04:25throat
00:04:36you're comfortable you're comfortable with a bunch of movies yeah but hey if katie doesn't want to go
00:04:40out delaney i'd love to go out with you please don't make me go alone i'm nervous and i'll get
00:04:45too
00:04:45fucked up no you will not like she doesn't even come out anymore because she's always with her
00:04:54boyfriend john i don't know why i did that his name is john john john do you think she's okay
00:05:01right
00:05:10i don't like him is that wrong to say you know like if you don't like your best friend's boyfriend
00:05:15it's the way he makes her if that makes sense i'll be pied oh you know what though my
00:05:23my contacts are already out that's like a whole thing only here she moves in with him kind of fast
00:05:32if you ask me but nobody asked me i'm gonna go meet her for a little okay
00:05:43john yes he's hot i get it i see it but he's boring occupied
00:05:49hide i think she's fine yeah i'll come have sex
00:05:59how do you have the patience well we actually had an agreement that if i set up his wi-fi
00:06:04he
00:06:04promised to wear boxers under his shorts during our pt sessions oh well that could be worth it
00:06:09it's a give and a take but uh this looks nice right yeah i like it in the shade it's
00:06:14good
00:06:15uh oh i don't suppose i could get you to call her back maybe
00:06:20she gets so anxious when she's hung over no she does i just um
00:06:25i just how was it no my uber is now 27 minutes away
00:06:29where are you i answered a 2 a.m text from this guy the drugger he got the more he
00:06:36talked about julia
00:06:37not next just a female friend he's clearly in love with
00:06:41did she hook up yes he asked me to role play
00:06:45uh wow like be a cheerleader or something that's
00:06:48oh i wish more like we're best friends and i suddenly see him in a new light
00:06:53oh my god i don't know where pizza to my apartment what do you want oh that sounds good
00:06:57no john and i are doing a picnic do you want to come
00:07:01you know what no i'll i'll just try you later
00:07:03okay bye all right bye
00:07:07well she's fine but she met a new guy and
00:07:13oh my god it's okay no no no it's okay it's okay as long as i have your undivided attention
00:07:19now
00:07:20yeah yeah when i first moved here it took me a while to get adjusted
00:07:25yeah you were mugged like three times that first week
00:07:28right well i thought everyone needed directions but then
00:07:32then i met you and you actually needed directions
00:07:35and i'm so so glad that i walked you into that coffee shop
00:07:41because you have made my life so much better than i ever thought that i deserved
00:07:48will you marry me
00:07:51yeah
00:07:52yeah
00:07:55i hate the art katie left here it's so gross
00:07:58it's sentimental
00:07:59okay well i live here now and i like actual art
00:08:02let me just ask katie if she wants it before we throw it away
00:08:05where is katie i feel like she's usually here by now like
00:08:08complaining about some ugly house she can't sell
00:08:11she's doing a picnic with john
00:08:13like eating on the ground
00:08:15yeah i feel so bad for her
00:08:18you know it's like she misses the party last night and now she has to waste her entire sunday doing
00:08:22a picnic with her boyfriend
00:08:24can i say something
00:08:25i really don't buy john's whole i'm such a nice guy thing
00:08:28like you're a pervert
00:08:30you literally touch old ladies all day
00:08:32that's his job
00:08:34he's a physical therapist for old people
00:08:36katie would fall for a pervert
00:08:38i mean she's clueless
00:08:40remember that time she got you like a briefcase filled with old papers for your birthday
00:08:44those are my great-grandparents birth certificates
00:08:46why would you want that
00:08:48she likes thoughtful surprises
00:08:50she's exactly like my sister
00:08:51she's nothing like your sister
00:08:54mary had one kid and now she won't shut up about her pelvic floor
00:08:57yeah mary's the worst
00:08:58and her baby isn't even cute
00:09:01i can't imagine having a baby right now
00:09:02it's actually disgusting to have a baby
00:09:04or getting married
00:09:05they'd kill me
00:09:07but we're pretty far from that
00:09:08we like you and me
00:09:10no me and katie
00:09:13delaney what
00:09:14you and katie are on totally different paths
00:09:16i mean katie lives with her boyfriend
00:09:19they're very serious
00:09:20and you literally still like
00:09:21fuck the first guy who shares a cigarette with you
00:09:24find out next week on that
00:09:27we love you so much
00:09:29we love you thank you
00:09:30oh thank you we love you so much
00:09:32thank you
00:09:32we cannot wait to celebrate with you guys
00:09:35bye
00:09:37i love your family
00:09:38i love them
00:09:38didn't you see your sister was crying
00:09:40yeah no it's funny
00:09:41she's known for months
00:09:42how did i not find this ring
00:09:43oh the ring was in a box
00:09:45in a bin
00:09:46in an air vent
00:09:47in my office
00:09:47you would never find it
00:09:48that was never
00:09:49and how was delaney playing it
00:09:50so cool
00:09:51yeah no i didn't tell delaney
00:09:55what
00:09:57oh well i figured you wanted to tell her
00:09:59right
00:10:00yeah
00:10:00yeah
00:10:01so delaney has no idea
00:10:04no but we can call her
00:10:06right now maybe
00:10:06uh yeah
00:10:07um let's do
00:10:08let's call her later though
00:10:09because i think she's probably asleep
00:10:10no it's fine
00:10:11we'll just call her from my phone
00:10:12it'll be a big surprise
00:10:13i promise
00:10:13yeah
00:10:16hey
00:10:16hello
00:10:18you can just leave the pizza at the door
00:10:19and i'll grab it
00:10:20thank you
00:10:26does she not have my number safe
00:10:28no she does
00:10:29i think she does
00:10:31i thought you'd be pretty excited to tell her
00:10:33i am
00:10:35i i really am
00:10:37i just i just want to
00:10:39tell her later
00:10:40right
00:10:43i know
00:10:45i'm not her favorite person
00:10:47that is not true don
00:10:48she loves you
00:10:48it's just that she has a hard time with change
00:10:50you know when she was younger
00:10:51her parents sold the family minivan
00:10:53and she asked if she could go visit it at its new house
00:10:57that's really sweet of her to want to check in on it
00:11:00and then remember when i told her i was moving out
00:11:04she didn't talk to me for like two weeks
00:11:08and whenever i passed her door she'd be muttering benedict arnold
00:11:11right but but this this is a good change
00:11:14i know and i'm so excited and i love you so much and i and i cannot wait to get
00:11:20married
00:11:21but i i just want to make sure i tell her in the just in the right way for her
00:11:27okay
00:11:30so let's parking lot the holiday campaign and dig into the meat and taters of our spring into content campaign
00:11:36so this campaign is it's going to be a big lift so we really need to stop the scroll
00:11:41we need some big ideas we need some blue sky ideas
00:11:45and like we just like really need everybody on this
00:11:47but i was kind of thinking delaney maybe you could run a point for us
00:11:52i don't i don't really have the bandwidth for that right now
00:11:55i copy that luca it's all yours
00:12:00okay um wow yeah that's that is just that's amazing
00:12:04i do just want to flag that i'm working overtime on two major campaigns right now
00:12:08since delaney didn't have the bandwidth last month
00:12:10so it's just kind of all falling on my shoulders so that's that's totally fine
00:12:14i just do just want to flag that
00:12:16no and thank you for flagging that delaney do you think you could maybe like carve out some time
00:12:21to kind of tag team it
00:12:24yeah i i gotta flag that i'm spread pretty thin over here
00:12:28what are you working on delaney
00:12:30putting out fires
00:12:31what kind of fires
00:12:32big ones with employees that you don't know
00:12:34right and is that why your camera's always off
00:12:37no my camera's off luca because it's allowed to be off
00:12:40okay guys i should finish up with a round of peaks and valleys
00:12:43so my valley was missing last week's happy hour
00:12:47never has someone been so missed
00:12:49but my peak is that it's on the books for next week
00:12:52popcorn to delaney
00:12:54i guess my valley was editing luca's q4 pitch
00:12:59and then my peak was it's done now
00:13:03popcorn to alex
00:13:05you know
00:13:08my valley
00:13:10was it ryan and i hit a speed bump
00:13:13wow
00:13:13so he he wants to open up the relationship
00:13:16and i just i don't think that i have the sexual confidence to withstand it
00:13:21so we're taking some time apart to kind of ideate on next steps
00:13:25but alex are you okay how are you feeling
00:13:29you know like i was upset
00:13:31obviously i was really upset
00:13:33for a beat
00:13:33but then i had a one-on-one with my best friend
00:13:35you know we went out we got some drinks
00:13:37we blew off steam
00:13:38just like old times just the two of us
00:13:40and that like really really helped
00:13:42best friends just get it
00:13:43oh we're so aligned on that luca
00:13:48so what was dad's reaction
00:13:49we facetimed him quickly
00:13:51yeah he was really happy for us
00:13:53yeah
00:13:56and i mean not that happy
00:13:57oh
00:13:58come on he was really excited it seemed
00:14:01yeah or you knew to call him after five
00:14:04speaking of alcoholics how did delaney take the news
00:14:06um she's was happy fine good
00:14:10delaney doesn't know yet
00:14:12katie wanted to tell her in her own way before we told anybody else
00:14:15that is so classic i uh do you know that delaney knew that our parents were getting divorced before i
00:14:20did
00:14:20is that true
00:14:22yeah i mean uh she's my best friend so
00:14:27i think you'd get it if you had a best friend
00:14:29well my wife is my best friend so daria who's your best friend
00:14:32no i'd rather not say we're each other's best friends
00:14:35yeah
00:14:37like normal adults
00:14:40delaney loves katie
00:14:42she'll be really happy once we tell her
00:14:44john have you ever heard of expectation recalibration therapy
00:14:47i was reading an article about it excuse me what article it's an article
00:14:51where was this article
00:14:54in the journals for doctor peat doctors
00:14:56henry
00:14:57have you been listening again to my sessions with my patients anyway expectation recalibration is basically a therapy where you
00:15:04work to accept that someone will never change right like they suck like medically and in your case that's delaney
00:15:10and in our case it's our dad so i mean daria confirmed that he's a narcissist
00:15:14i have never treated your father and i've never made any medical claims about him excuse me
00:15:19i mean but you have i mean we've talked about what are you talking about you know what are you
00:15:22i sent him 20 of my poems in the past year 20 and he never once told me that i
00:15:29was talented
00:15:31right i mean how hard is it to reply with a compliment how hard is it to like
00:15:35you know just say like a simple henry you are a brilliant artist right and it is a crime that
00:15:40you
00:15:40have to edit other people's much weaker novels instead of traveling the world on your own book tour right
00:15:46he is selfish katie and so is delaney yeah i hear you um
00:15:51i i don't think delaney's selfish i think she has a hard time with change daria was treating our neighbor
00:15:56the other day
00:15:56he would know he's a total freak daria i mean he gets off on lizards and let did he say
00:16:01blizzards or
00:16:02it was lizards it was lizards it was lizards he gets off on lizards and his wife wants to divorce
00:16:06him
00:16:07clearly and daria said something that i think applies here
00:16:12tell them the thing about the change oh well you know uh people's nerves about change they can be
00:16:20calmed by the familiar so you take them to a comfortable environment and you break the news
00:16:27it's kind of like we take your kids to their favorite ice cream shop and tell them you're
00:16:30getting a divorce i mean i think that's something that you should consider with delaney i mean she's
00:16:35about as mature as an eight-year-old so i've seen her hork down a pint of chubby hubby in
00:16:39one sitting
00:16:40so we know she likes ice cream
00:16:44yeah
00:16:47that's not a real basketball third from the left is cake you know i decided i don't even want cake
00:16:52at
00:16:52my birthday this year i actually think it's really weird to like bring out food and then make people
00:16:57eat it did you find a bar yet i think i'm gonna do it here i'm going for a very
00:17:01specific aesthetic
00:17:02so if you could not invite ah no i thought you'd be asleep ah katie i didn't know you still
00:17:10had a
00:17:11key uh delaney said i could keep one for emergencies what's the emergency um well this time it's not so
00:17:16much an emergency really as it is um a surprise for my best friend oh man i had actually had
00:17:24this
00:17:24whole thing planned that i was gonna sneak in and like put clues around the apartment but okay
00:17:27whatever since you're awake i'll just show you now what the fuck is that i planned us a mini beach
00:17:36vacation you don't seem excited what's there to be excited about katie it's the beach i'm excited
00:17:43i i really am um and that poster is that's your most thoughtful gift yet you see the umbrella
00:17:49i see the umbrella you know these trips can be kind of weird for me is john at least bringing
00:17:55a
00:17:55friend no no john's not coming why yeah why no reason i just thought it would be great for the
00:18:03two
00:18:03of us to go on a trip connect have some quality time like old times yes yes just like old
00:18:10times
00:18:26kiss me one kiss me twice
00:18:32girl
00:18:39love me forever and i'll be true to you girl
00:18:52all right there we go nice we're here what time is check-in at the pelican palace surprise
00:18:59we aren't staying at the pelican palace right yeah i got us a i got us a rental house actually
00:19:05on wonder weekend wonder weekend rentals kind of creeped me out i don't like the idea of using
00:19:10other people's kitchen appliances but you're okay sleeping in a bed or a bunch of high schoolers just
00:19:14rounded the bases but the pelican palace is where all the parties end up i know imagine that noise
00:19:19when you sleep a freaking wink is there a bar
00:19:25what at the rental house
00:19:27is it a shared space or private private
00:19:30and there's a lock box so we don't even have
00:19:35underneath the guy you found it
00:19:38oh gosh gps can be a little wonky here so so glad you guys figured it out
00:19:43how we doing are you uh are you uh douglas are you my fifth grade teacher just dougie's fine
00:19:53yeah i i just asked because the the listing had said that there was a lock box so i didn't
00:19:58think
00:19:58we'd get to meet here she is yeah i love to walk everyone through the space first only because
00:20:05it's a really important place to me oh it was my mom's she uh she died here
00:20:11oh gosh no not in the front yard oh she died inside
00:20:17katie right so you must be delaney yeah i love that name family name it was my grandfather's oh my
00:20:23gosh i was named after my mom's brother who we don't talk to anymore he's uh it's a pedophile
00:20:30so oh i'm sorry oh no no no he was always cool with me yeah but uh called a lot
00:20:37you know when
00:20:38he was doing time yeah i guess inmates are like really hard on child predators i didn't mind saying
00:20:43hi then but once he got out and started coming here unannounced oh my gosh i keep talking and
00:20:48talking you guys probably just want to see inside right pretty cute huh i love it
00:20:54yeah mom left the place to meet my sister but lauren has a family now so she let me keep
00:20:59it all to
00:21:00myself oh score yeah oh all the art on the wall is for sale what little munchkin did these i
00:21:10am an
00:21:10artist yeah well technically my day job is medical sales but i've been working my tush off and is
00:21:17there a wi-fi password uh yeah it was in the welcome pamphlet that i sent over because guests
00:21:25are really supposed to read the pamphlet uh before they check in so oh but it's okay i have a
00:21:30spare
00:21:31set of rules right here oh perfect oh i also threw in my favorite local spots you girls hot dog
00:21:37fans
00:21:37dingo's dogs yeah yeah um we know it we used to come here near a little fun yeah sisters best
00:21:43friends
00:21:44i love uh best friends any big plans for best friends night um i think we'll probably
00:21:51hang here make a cheese plate you get plenty of cheese at home
00:21:56i thought we could go to a bar i mean i brought a lot of orange wine for us to
00:22:00drink here oh
00:22:02that's a no what is no alcohol on the premises that's ridiculous um what she means is we were
00:22:11really just gonna have a glass or two yeah no exception to the rules was it just a quick
00:22:16scam of the welcome email because no shoes is also a big one
00:22:20i can't sleep with the sound of stomping i thought this was a private space
00:22:25yeah the upstairs is your private domain i hang my hat in the subterranean domicile
00:22:33i live in the basement
00:22:39what are you doing
00:22:40pedophile has this address okay well it's a good thing we're adults
00:22:43i look young
00:22:47so what happens when you stray from places you know and love your mom got staff at the pelican palace
00:22:51the pelican palace is fun they keep beers in the ice machine you prefer dirty ice over a literal
00:22:57deathbed yeah okay i put a lot of effort into planning this trip and i would like if we could
00:23:01at least relax and try to connect enjoy ourselves appreciate where we are
00:23:12cameras what the hell what they're where i worked at urban outfitters all right those cameras aren't even on
00:23:18people just see them and are less likely to steal
00:23:21do you see any ironic coffee table books for sale here
00:23:24because i don't
00:23:26dougie's boarding off shoplifters he's watching us get his rocks off
00:23:29he's not camped out in front of the monitor with his hands down his pants
00:23:32he's nice
00:23:36no no i'm not staying here all night
00:23:38and being one of dougie's cheese eating cam girls okay
00:23:40i'm going to a bar
00:23:42all night at a bar
00:23:43yeah
00:23:44shh
00:23:45thing is though if it's loud
00:23:47we won't really be able to talk
00:23:50we talk all day
00:23:53i know that's a good point
00:23:57yeah let's go to a bar
00:24:01man
00:24:02this place has really changed
00:24:04it used to get packed
00:24:06i saw this pottery place in town and they have a morning class that teaches you how to make little
00:24:09bowls for your keys
00:24:10i kind of was hoping we'd sleep in
00:24:11yeah it's not till seven
00:24:14okay
00:24:15cheers to this weekend
00:24:15thank you for planning it
00:24:17um
00:24:19as you know we've had so many great memories here as friends
00:24:22and we've crossed so many milestones together
00:24:24and i thought it would be the perfect place to come
00:24:27to cross one more
00:24:28and i think that it's the most important thing we do
00:24:31if we are able to flourish together
00:24:34like two roses
00:24:35two best friend i guess roses
00:24:37who um
00:24:38uh can i get a beer please
00:24:40yeah
00:24:40that guy
00:24:41real hot
00:24:42who
00:24:43the helmet guy
00:24:46uh okay not why we're here
00:24:47um okay so i was saying
00:24:49we we have crossed so many milestones together here as friends
00:24:53he looks like dennis fuller
00:24:54oh dennis fuller another loser
00:24:56should we go talk to him
00:24:58i'm in the middle of saying something okay
00:25:01um
00:25:06you gonna pick that up
00:25:07i'm gonna call him back
00:25:12uh i'm gonna be quick
00:25:14don't move
00:25:20sorry i had to get to a quiet place delaney dragged me to a bar
00:25:23you're out celebrating
00:25:26celebrating
00:25:26the proposal
00:25:29katie
00:25:29uh yeah yeah yeah yeah it cut it cut out for a sec
00:25:32um
00:25:33not yeah not yet
00:25:34you said that you would tell her by tonight
00:25:36no no i know i was i was just about to when you called
00:25:38well daria sent over some invitation samples
00:25:41and she said we should pick one by next week
00:25:43okay yeah sounds good
00:25:44i'll send you some photos
00:25:46and then you can decide
00:25:47or i can decide to send me photos on the back
00:25:51uh whichever
00:25:51okay
00:25:52i'll catch you later
00:25:53love you
00:25:54bye
00:25:58checking in
00:25:58all right
00:25:59we gotta check in
00:26:00i'm the social chair for sigma new
00:26:02so i got to plan this bachelor party
00:26:04for my almost bro-in-law
00:26:05and i always go big
00:26:07last month
00:26:07we had a naughty nuns
00:26:09and a frisky friars party
00:26:11friars are like bald priests
00:26:12tell me what do you do
00:26:13uh finance
00:26:14pfft
00:26:15okay
00:26:15humble
00:26:16do you follow crypto
00:26:18because he he he created apex coin
00:26:20uh gq did vote at one of their up-and-coming coins of the year this year
00:26:24but it's not a big deal
00:26:25oh my god
00:26:25anybody could make this low itty b coin
00:26:28nobody
00:26:28oh so sorry
00:26:29sorry
00:26:30hi
00:26:30hey
00:26:30um i'm katie
00:26:32hey
00:26:32kaylee oh my god
00:26:33you look exactly like my twins
00:26:35look at the
00:26:39is apex coin funding any strippers this weekend
00:26:41i don't pay for intimate experiences
00:26:43i do
00:26:44i wanted one real bad
00:26:46i found one online that's so mean to you
00:26:48sorry about him
00:26:49the legend himself
00:26:51it's charlie
00:26:53delaney
00:26:53katie
00:26:54nice to meet you
00:26:55katie
00:26:55again
00:26:56do you think it was a bad idea to have a college junior playing my master party
00:27:00uh we're actually probably gonna head out
00:27:05oh would you actually mind opening these for us
00:27:07all good
00:27:07i got it
00:27:08oh
00:27:09no
00:27:10party flops
00:27:13yeah
00:27:13you didn't want to use your party flop
00:27:15fuck you
00:27:17thank you
00:27:18one beer and we go
00:27:21one beer and we go
00:27:40let's go
00:27:40yeah let's fucking go
00:27:42i'm gonna fire up some tunes
00:27:48that smells fucking awful
00:27:50oh my god that smells so bad
00:27:51wait
00:27:52i didn't smell anything
00:27:53i didn't
00:27:54what's it smell like
00:27:57yo
00:27:59did anybody see a dog walk through here
00:28:03bottle opener on the bottom of a shoe
00:28:05stop smiling
00:28:06stop
00:28:08and then i don't know what kind of moron walks through dog shit and has no idea
00:28:11you didn't even know how to get strippers for a bachelor party
00:28:13well not all guys like strippers that one i get
00:28:15yeah totally
00:28:16john really doesn't
00:28:17okay
00:28:17john actually doesn't
00:28:19because he has a sister
00:28:20he does
00:28:21you hung out with her like three times
00:28:23all right
00:28:26will you open the door
00:28:30you have the key
00:28:30you have the key
00:28:32no
00:28:33i have the key
00:28:34you wanted to carry it
00:28:36i have the key
00:28:38i don't have the key
00:28:41where'd it go
00:28:41it might have fallen out of my pocket
00:28:43why can't you carry a purse
00:28:44i'm sorry
00:28:45i need to brush my teeth
00:28:46we can go back to the bar and look for them
00:28:47no
00:28:49you know what we have to do
00:28:51no
00:28:52yeah
00:28:54sorry again doggy
00:28:55oh that's fine
00:28:56i was only asleep for an hour
00:28:57okay good
00:28:58oh yeah sorry
00:29:00just pop those off for me
00:29:01oh
00:29:02yeah
00:29:02sorry
00:29:03just the rules
00:29:06thank you
00:29:07i just forgot
00:29:08that's fine
00:29:09love those flats
00:29:14oh sorry
00:29:18before you go back down to the basement
00:29:20what's the deal with the cameras
00:29:22oh my gosh
00:29:23i had to up my security after a nightmare renter
00:29:25you ever heard of a home birth
00:29:30but the cameras don't actually record
00:29:32oh no
00:29:33they're the real deal
00:29:33yeah
00:29:34no audio of course
00:29:36because you need a permit for that
00:29:37and
00:29:38no cameras in the bedrooms or bathrooms
00:29:41this was all in you
00:29:42in the welcome email
00:29:43yeah
00:29:44was it just a quick skim
00:29:45because
00:29:45we can pop a squat
00:29:47and look things over if you want
00:29:48oh no
00:29:49we should not
00:29:49pop any squats
00:29:51we'd like to go to bed
00:29:52and we'd like to watch tv
00:29:54alone
00:29:55do you guys know how to work the roku
00:29:56yes
00:29:57yes
00:29:58i saw that in the binder
00:29:59she saw the
00:30:01i cracked myself up
00:30:04i don't have a roku
00:30:05it was a trick question
00:30:06you fell right into my trap
00:30:10i'm really gonna need you to do a refresher of the rules after i leave
00:30:13okay
00:30:15gonna need a verbal k from both of you
00:30:18okay
00:30:22hmm
00:30:24okay
00:30:26and while i'm at it
00:30:27why don't i throw us all in a group text
00:30:29just in case of emergencies
00:30:31katie
00:30:31i have your digits
00:30:32but um
00:30:34delaney
00:30:58what time is it
00:31:00it's early
00:31:01um
00:31:02it's really early
00:31:03go back to bed
00:31:10i'm gonna
00:31:12i'm gonna go get us coffees
00:31:43it's a matter of privacy
00:31:44i don't
00:31:44you told delaney
00:31:45right
00:31:45yes
00:31:46yes i
00:31:46i told her we were engaged
00:31:48i
00:31:49i will ask them to take it down
00:31:51okay
00:31:51yeah i just don't want it up there
00:31:53okay
00:31:54i gotta go
00:31:55yeah
00:31:56all right i love you bye
00:32:25hey
00:32:27figure out um
00:32:28i haven't told my best friend
00:32:30uh delaney
00:32:32who you met last night
00:32:33so i just need to
00:32:33you know figure stuff out
00:32:35so
00:32:36what she doesn't like him
00:32:37uh you know i mean she's she's not the most emotive person
00:32:40so it can be
00:32:42it can be it was hard to tell in the beginning but yeah she likes him
00:32:45she does
00:32:46yeah she does like him
00:32:47yeah
00:32:47now say it one more time but i want you to really mean it
00:32:49she she does like him so
00:32:52look a few of my friends weren't that happy for me when i got engaged
00:32:56i think they're just freaked out that they think your fiance is gonna hijack your life and they're never gonna
00:33:00see you again
00:33:01i know which is crazy
00:33:02one of them just straight up stopped inviting me places because he said i don't know how to hang anymore
00:33:08not that that's gonna happen to you
00:33:10i think
00:33:10no
00:33:10no i know
00:33:11um
00:33:14yeah
00:33:14okay
00:33:14good luck with
00:33:16you know
00:33:17enjoy your coffee
00:33:18yeah
00:33:19bye
00:33:27you're up
00:33:28what time is it
00:33:29time to get up
00:33:30cold brew
00:33:31there you go
00:33:33it's beautiful out by the way
00:33:34where's my phone
00:33:35our phones are tucked away safely in the kitchen drawer
00:33:39why
00:33:40because today is about having fun without distractions
00:33:43we're gonna float around untethered to technology just like when we were little
00:33:47what happened to pottery
00:33:49we're not going to pottery
00:33:50we're gonna be wild
00:33:52crazy
00:33:52spontaneous
00:33:53we are going off the grid
00:33:55all right
00:33:59you think it was a love back there
00:34:00who's following you
00:34:01i'm following you
00:34:02why i'm left-brained
00:34:04no i'm left-brained
00:34:06which one's the one that's bad at math because you're that one
00:34:08that's very rude
00:34:10you know what's rude is those are my sneakers and you're wearing them and you didn't ask me
00:34:14katie
00:34:16oh my god
00:34:17oh my god wow you two hanging out it's like stepping back into 2008 again
00:34:27i love it
00:34:31you have a baby
00:34:32congratulations
00:34:33yeah max but she's a girl
00:34:36she's amazing she's such a great eater
00:34:38she sleeps 8 to 8
00:34:39wow that's awesome
00:34:40um are you here for the weekend
00:34:41oh no my partner and i we live here full time
00:34:43yeah we moved away from the city which was super scary
00:34:45but you know i love it
00:34:46wait did i say that you got married
00:34:48uh no
00:34:49no
00:34:50oh you know what i'm thinking about the other katie in your brain
00:34:53yeah the other katie she had her wedding featured on nautical nuptials amazing
00:34:57wow
00:34:59well what are you up to today
00:35:00we're probably just gonna grab some food at the deli actually in town
00:35:04oh my god their lox is what got me through my second trimester
00:35:08just the craziest cravings with this little one in the pistachios fish cottage cheese butt stuff
00:35:13whatever you name it i had it
00:35:15oh crazy idea alert but we're actually having a bbq at mine today
00:35:19you should come
00:35:19is it a party
00:35:21it's a bbq
00:35:22yeah
00:35:23come
00:35:27oh
00:35:30sorry we just we get it a little crazy on the weekends
00:35:34well i mean as you know crazy as we can with a little one
00:35:40um so what is it you do theo
00:35:43i'm a filmmaker
00:35:46yeah commercials
00:35:47yeah he just got back from tokyo
00:35:49oh wow
00:35:50you know i hear japan's amazing what commercial were you shooting
00:35:53um it's nothing
00:35:56sweetie just don't tell them
00:35:58oh he's being so modest he's being modest
00:36:01he was shooting a watch commercial
00:36:03with brad pitt and natalie portman
00:36:06oh wow
00:36:07uh that's that's so cool did you get to meet them
00:36:10the celebrities
00:36:12yeah that's not really why i do it though
00:36:17no of course not
00:36:18yeah
00:36:20oh hello
00:36:21oh hi
00:36:22oh no careful she can bite
00:36:25oh
00:36:25she does
00:36:26uh well yeah i guess she really likes you
00:36:29um
00:36:30i've never seen her do that with anyone but me
00:36:33why don't you come here
00:36:35come
00:36:35come on
00:36:38nerd
00:36:40i think um yeah i think it's your turn daddy
00:36:43you know i'm pretty sure i read in the book that
00:36:45it's better to let him cry it out right
00:36:47no that's for um when we're putting her to sleep babe
00:36:49yes well and nappies
00:36:51no no not just nappies
00:36:53oh
00:36:53no she wants to come
00:36:54come on
00:36:55yeah i want to
00:36:56yeah okay
00:36:57oh
00:36:59we're gonna look after the child as well
00:37:02come on
00:37:03yeah
00:37:04just excuse me okay
00:37:06okay
00:37:08i'm very worried about the dog
00:37:11i'm sorry
00:37:12okay i felt bad
00:37:14i saw them wandering the neighborhood
00:37:15looking wrongingly at all these families
00:37:18what were they supposed to be
00:37:19you've always invited strangers into this house
00:37:21first it was the kitten in the garage
00:37:23now it's these spinsters from your past
00:37:26baby
00:37:27we
00:37:28have a child
00:37:29we do
00:37:30wow i just forgot about the 46 hours of labor and my torn anus
00:37:34oh
00:37:34the chatty one is hiding something
00:37:36and i know that you don't care
00:37:38but the new keeps on fiddling with noodle
00:37:40i want them gone
00:37:41i want my life back
00:37:48ladies i couldn't
00:37:49i didn't find any weed but some ketamine
00:37:51fuck
00:37:56oh
00:38:00oh
00:38:01oh it hit my spine
00:38:04oh my god
00:38:06since when
00:38:07is petting a dog weird
00:38:09it's not like i was only petting tail
00:38:10i'm serious
00:38:12okay well i'm not hiding anything they're just freaking nuts
00:38:15whatever that's the most excitement they've seen in months so
00:38:17yeah
00:38:18her partner just shot a commercial with brad pitt but i hear you
00:38:21yeah they clearly hate each other though
00:38:23hate each other maybe they're a little tired
00:38:25just had a baby
00:38:26or maybe they were in love and then they had the baby
00:38:30and now they hate each other
00:38:31that's real nice
00:38:32i'm
00:38:32i'm sorry that's the reason i don't want kids
00:38:35all right i know you want kids
00:38:37i mean it i don't want kids
00:38:40okay you don't mean that don't say that
00:38:43um i do mean it i don't want kids
00:38:45delina you don't mean that
00:38:47stop
00:38:48can we not have this conversation
00:38:51because that really put a damper on my entire day
00:38:53yes okay sorry
00:38:54um
00:38:56okay what do you want to do
00:39:01follow me
00:39:02okay
00:39:06turn up the stereo
00:39:13till everything right
00:39:15life is a disco
00:39:24i'm gonna get this with my name on it
00:39:26and she's gonna get this with her name on it
00:39:31what's the other two percent
00:39:33um
00:39:34carol beagle
00:39:45get back in the saddle
00:39:52this ain't no ghetto
00:39:58you're on the payroll
00:40:02carol beagle
00:40:06oh
00:40:16yeah they're very humble
00:40:27Oh my.
00:40:30Oh my.
00:40:33Oh my.
00:40:35Oh my.
00:40:37Really?
00:40:38Yes, he cuts his toenails.
00:40:39In the car.
00:40:40That's a good thing.
00:40:40No.
00:40:41Shots!
00:40:42Keep it going all-nighter.
00:40:44Oh, hi Kyle.
00:40:46You sure you're allowed back in here?
00:40:50Dude, I'm so embarrassed.
00:40:53How can we make this up to you?
00:40:55Um, I guess one of you could eat some dog shit.
00:40:58Shit, I'll do it.
00:40:59No, I'll do it.
00:41:01I'll do it.
00:41:02I am so sorry that we keep subjecting you to this.
00:41:04Let's just do a round of fireball shots for everyone.
00:41:10You like fireball?
00:41:13I love fireball.
00:41:16Let's fucking go.
00:41:20What is with Phil?
00:41:22What's up, Kaylee?
00:41:24Oh my God, dude.
00:41:26I gotta go to the bathroom.
00:41:27Well, we've been having so much fun.
00:41:29It's been hard to find the right time to tell her.
00:41:32Right.
00:41:33But more importantly, as soon as you tell her, it's gonna be weird.
00:41:37Uh, yeah, that too.
00:41:39All right, then don't think about it and just have fun.
00:41:41I can't not think about it.
00:41:44She is going to find out.
00:41:46Mm-hmm.
00:41:48Oh my God, you're so stressed.
00:41:50I know, I know.
00:41:51I can feel your heart beating in your chest.
00:41:54I know.
00:41:55I know.
00:41:56Well, my fiance wants to try for kids as soon as we get married.
00:42:00Oh.
00:42:00So this will be the last time I see my friends for the next 18 years.
00:42:07That's so sad.
00:42:08I know.
00:42:09Don't say that.
00:42:10I agree.
00:42:10The fact is, is that we're getting older.
00:42:12And we're not gonna have a lot more weekends like this.
00:42:14We're not 80 years old.
00:42:15This is not your last hurrah.
00:42:17Do you know what a bachelor party is?
00:42:18By definition, it is a last hurrah.
00:42:20I think you're being dramatic.
00:42:22I don't think so.
00:42:26Maybe we get another drink?
00:42:28Yes.
00:42:28Is that an awful idea?
00:42:29No, it's a good idea.
00:42:31Okay, twist your arm?
00:42:32Twist my arm.
00:42:33I don't really do the whole American idealization of excess, super-sized thing.
00:42:37Well, except when it comes to real estate because tiny homes scare me.
00:42:41Oh.
00:42:43Beijing.
00:42:44Hold those.
00:42:49What's his deal?
00:42:51Oh, he's a good dude.
00:42:52And he's like low-key rich now, too.
00:42:54But he only dates models.
00:42:56Sorry.
00:42:57Hey, um, are you single?
00:43:00Yeah, I'm single.
00:43:02Same.
00:43:03I mean, me and my boys have like a strict no-dating policy for junior year.
00:43:07I love that.
00:43:08I wish my friends got that.
00:43:11Could you be putting a good word with, uh, Tommy?
00:43:14Like to date?
00:43:15No.
00:43:16I like to smash.
00:43:17Yeah, I like to smash.
00:43:20Yeah, I'll ask him.
00:43:21Less of an ask and more of a temperature check.
00:43:23Just check it out for me.
00:43:25It's my mission to get you kissing.
00:43:28Oh!
00:43:29Phil!
00:43:30Tommy!
00:43:31Family fireball shots!
00:43:32Yes.
00:43:33Oh, fuck.
00:43:34But now I think about the-
00:43:36Cheers.
00:43:36Down in the Caribbean sunshine.
00:43:39In my younger days I was so bad.
00:43:42Laughing about all the fun we had.
00:43:45Seen enough to feel the world spin.
00:43:47Mixing different ocean feet and cousins.
00:43:49Listen to the drummers and the night sounds.
00:43:51Listen to the singers make the world fun.
00:43:54Oh, fuck.
00:43:55I forgot to vote.
00:43:57Uh, guys, there's nothing open.
00:43:59We really don't need to force the night.
00:44:00No, no, no.
00:44:02We said all-nighter.
00:44:04We did.
00:44:04I feel like Tommy Delaney still need to clap cheeks.
00:44:07What are you talking about?
00:44:09Nothing.
00:44:09He's drunk.
00:44:10Ignore him.
00:44:10Well, we would invite you back to the Pelican Palace bar.
00:44:13Uh, but it is, I've been told, an out-of-order vending machine in the parking lot.
00:44:19Mm.
00:44:19So they can't host.
00:44:21That's correct.
00:44:21They can't host.
00:44:24You guys, should we just call it?
00:44:26Yes.
00:44:26No.
00:44:27No, let's go to ours.
00:44:30What about Dougie?
00:44:32No.
00:44:34We'll be quiet.
00:44:38Sorry.
00:44:39This is the only room in the house without cameras.
00:44:41I have cash.
00:44:42Yeah, I think, uh, I think I should probably take Phil home.
00:44:45No.
00:44:46No.
00:44:47You should stay here.
00:44:49Charlie and Katie, they'll be back any second.
00:44:51Phil, I'm friends with Danny.
00:44:52Or, we could play a game.
00:44:55You guys ever heard of Twister?
00:44:57Oh, man.
00:44:59The baby thighs brought it to, uh, the hockey house last spring.
00:45:03No, uh, seriously, I told Phil's wife I'd watch him.
00:45:06I think it's time for us to go, Phil.
00:45:08I'm good.
00:45:09Chill.
00:45:10Come on, we'll go back to the hotel.
00:45:11I think we should get Phil coffee.
00:45:12Phil, do you want a coffee?
00:45:13Don't fucking touch me.
00:45:14Haha.
00:45:15All right, yeah, let's get Phil coffee.
00:45:18Is that okay?
00:45:19Yeah, go get me fucking coffee and get out of here.
00:45:22Great, let's get Phil coffee.
00:45:23Bye.
00:45:24This guy fucking thinks he knows what it's like to fucking live in a house with three women.
00:45:28No offense, you're awesome.
00:45:30Ooh, a smooth banana IPA.
00:45:34That could be your, that could be your wedding drink.
00:45:36Like your bride signature cocktail.
00:45:37I'm not doing any of that stuff.
00:45:40Right, because you're like, cool bride.
00:45:43Yes, yes, that's right.
00:45:45What's your signature cocktail?
00:45:47Well, I'm a cool groom, so I can't do that.
00:45:50Oh.
00:45:50You, you might actually be too cool of a groom if it takes you seven years to propose.
00:45:57Look, love happens in its own time.
00:46:00Oh, right.
00:46:00It's, you know, I don't make the timetable, love makes the timetable.
00:46:03And that's what you told her?
00:46:04Yeah.
00:46:04Yes, that's what I told her.
00:46:05And how much time did that buy you?
00:46:07Seven years.
00:46:09Ah, ah, ah.
00:46:10I see.
00:46:11What?
00:46:13Made you wait so long?
00:46:14I just wasn't sure.
00:46:17About your fiance?
00:46:18About any of it.
00:46:19I just, I just didn't know if that's what I wanted.
00:46:22You know, I just think it's this thing that we all think we're supposed to do because everybody
00:46:26else does it, but we never stop and ask ourselves if it's what we actually want.
00:46:30And then I realized that I did want it.
00:46:33And I do want kids.
00:46:35And that eventually I just had to get out of my own way and find somebody that I liked
00:46:40and use good judgment and be smart and just, you know, pick them and be happy.
00:46:48So romantic.
00:46:49I don't care if you don't think it's romantic.
00:46:51It's honest.
00:46:52And honesty is what sustains a marriage.
00:46:56It's not romance.
00:46:57I mean, you actually don't think that there's one person for everyone?
00:47:03I'm sorry, you can't be serious.
00:47:05What?
00:47:06One person for everyone?
00:47:07No, of course not.
00:47:08I think there are millions of people that we can connect with.
00:47:11It's just a matter of when you meet them.
00:47:13We're not marrying these people because of timing.
00:47:17Don't say we're marrying them because of soulmates because I'll leave you here with those beers.
00:47:25We are marrying them because we love them.
00:47:29Yes.
00:47:31I mean, right?
00:47:33I said yes.
00:47:35I...
00:47:36You're not selling me.
00:47:37Do you know?
00:47:38That's not my job.
00:47:39Oh!
00:47:40This coffee expired six years ago.
00:47:43Coffee doesn't expire.
00:47:44I got cash money, baby girl.
00:47:46Remember that stuff from the 90s?
00:47:47Don't worry about that.
00:47:48We'll give it some tap water, okay?
00:47:49Or like Windex or something.
00:47:50Would you like to share a glass of wine?
00:47:52What?
00:47:54Someone found a speaker.
00:47:56Connect.
00:47:57No, I have to conserve my battery for the Uber so we can leave.
00:48:00You remember leaving?
00:48:01You can use my phone for the music.
00:48:04No offense, but you probably don't have my kind of music on your phone, so...
00:48:07What kind of music do you like?
00:48:09House.
00:48:09But a very specific kind of house.
00:48:11I like specific house.
00:48:12My God.
00:48:14Just listen to your music, okay?
00:48:16Put on your phone.
00:48:16I'm fine.
00:48:17Put on your phone.
00:48:18I'm fine.
00:48:19Oh, Tommy.
00:48:22I'm coming, Tommy.
00:48:28I'm gonna make two glasses of wine still for...
00:48:31If anyone wants to stay and drink it with me.
00:49:01Delaney, can you fire for some pizzas, hon?
00:49:05For the guys, at least?
00:49:07I mean, I'm happy to host.
00:49:08I'm just...
00:49:09Yeah, you don't seem anxious about it at all.
00:49:10Well, I'm just...
00:49:11I'm a little worried.
00:49:12If I get a bad review, that is on you.
00:49:14What...
00:49:14What is with you in this review?
00:49:15What?
00:49:15Are you in some sort of legal bind?
00:49:17No.
00:49:18No, but...
00:49:19I will write you a comment if they give you a shitty review.
00:49:22Oh.
00:49:25Um...
00:49:25We could just go back to my hotel.
00:49:27If you want.
00:49:28I mean, just say the word.
00:49:32Charlie, I can't.
00:49:34I'm engaged.
00:49:35You know?
00:49:36I...
00:49:37Trust me.
00:49:41I feel it, too.
00:49:42But there's not...
00:49:43I'm sorry.
00:49:44I meant, like...
00:49:45I meant all of us would go back to my hotel.
00:49:49Like...
00:49:49Instead of you hosting here?
00:49:51Just because you seemed anxious about it?
00:49:53No, I'm...
00:49:55I'm so sorry.
00:49:56Um, just because we'd been flirting, so I thought that you were...
00:49:59I wasn't suggesting that you and I would go back alone to my hotel.
00:50:03I hope I wasn't giving off that impression.
00:50:06I mean, did you think the friendly banter meant that I was gonna, like, cheat on my fiancé?
00:50:11No.
00:50:12No.
00:50:20I gotta...
00:50:20Okay.
00:50:22That's a fad, dude.
00:50:26Delaney!
00:50:27What the fuck are you doing?
00:50:28We said we'd stay in the bedroom!
00:50:30Delaney!
00:50:31Phil, buddy, time to go.
00:50:32Finally.
00:50:33Yeah, let's go.
00:50:34No.
00:50:34Stay.
00:50:35You can go to my room.
00:50:36I'll make it fun.
00:50:37No.
00:50:38No, thanks.
00:50:39Is it because I'm not a model?
00:50:40No.
00:50:41Because I don't share a genuine connection with you and it feels weird to lead you on.
00:50:44Oh, fuck you.
00:50:45You know, I came here to celebrate an important time in Charlie's life.
00:50:49I tried to politely keep my distance so I could spend time with my friends, who I never see, but
00:50:53you inserted yourself into our plans and put us all in a very weird situation.
00:50:58So honestly, fuck you, Delaney.
00:51:00No.
00:51:01No.
00:51:02No, no, no.
00:51:03Fuck you, Tommy.
00:51:05Fuck you.
00:51:06Because that...
00:51:07That's the dopest girl that I've ever met.
00:51:10And you may not get her.
00:51:13But I do.
00:51:22I think I love you.
00:51:29What?
00:51:31What are you talking about?
00:51:34What?
00:51:35No, no, no, no, no.
00:51:36What is going on here?
00:51:38Who are these people?
00:51:39Mom's house?
00:51:40Can you not?
00:51:41On the art?
00:51:42I'm sorry.
00:51:42I'm sorry.
00:51:43They are about to leave.
00:51:45Additional guests?
00:51:46Shoes inside?
00:51:47Alcohol?
00:51:49You agreed to the rules.
00:51:51I know.
00:51:51I know.
00:51:52I'm sorry.
00:51:52There were a lot of rules.
00:51:54And honestly, no alcohol is crazy.
00:51:55So...
00:51:56Yeah.
00:51:56Because I don't want to relapse again.
00:51:58I'm two years sober.
00:52:00What is wrong with you people?
00:52:01This is my house.
00:52:02It kills me that I have to rent this out.
00:52:05But with my mom's leftover medical bills, I don't really have...
00:52:12Really?
00:52:14I'm not gonna not do the coke.
00:52:18Hi.
00:52:19Hi.
00:52:20We're here for Big Dick Phil.
00:52:23Oh my God.
00:52:24I'm him.
00:52:25Phil, please tell me that you didn't hire...
00:52:28Delaney said I could.
00:52:29I said he could.
00:52:30Because guess what?
00:52:31All guys like strippers, Katie.
00:52:33Even your lover Charlie.
00:52:35Okay, well, he's not my lover.
00:52:36I mean, you have been eye-fucking her all week, dude.
00:52:39See?
00:52:40Whoa.
00:52:41What about my sister?
00:52:43Let's not chill.
00:52:44What are you talking about?
00:52:45She's engaged.
00:52:49You knew?
00:52:52Charlie knew.
00:52:54Hey, we're drunk.
00:52:55Okay?
00:52:55Let's not talk about this right now.
00:52:57You don't want to talk about how you hid your engagement from me for an entire weekend?
00:53:01Can you stop?
00:53:02How you put our phones in a kitchen drawer?
00:53:04Stop.
00:53:05You're a psycho.
00:53:06Hey, you're a fucking bitch!
00:53:09Okay, this is just sad.
00:53:10I can't dance here.
00:53:12Same.
00:53:12Friendship stuff is super triggering.
00:53:15Yeah.
00:53:23Okay.
00:53:24I got another girl, but it'll take her 45 minutes to get here.
00:53:28Get out!
00:53:29You get out?
00:53:32You're a pervert.
00:53:34You filmed us.
00:53:37Pervert.
00:53:38Pervert.
00:53:40Pervert.
00:53:41Pervert.
00:53:43Pervert.
00:53:43Pervert.
00:53:44Pervert.
00:53:45Pervert.
00:53:45You're creepy!
00:53:47You don't treat guests this way!
00:53:52Everywhere's closed, Delaney.
00:53:54I'm talking to you.
00:53:55Okay, but nowhere's open.
00:53:56You don't know everything.
00:54:00Ugh.
00:54:04Oh, hello.
00:54:07I'll have one pizza for one person.
00:54:12I can get home.
00:54:16He says it's gonna be five minutes, so...
00:54:18Didn't want to know what type of pizza?
00:54:20I always get pepperoni and they always know, so...
00:54:23Yeah, I didn't hear a credit card number.
00:54:26I'm paying cash from Chuck.
00:54:28Mmm.
00:54:31Yeah.
00:54:49Mm.
00:54:54Mm.
00:54:55to his room and I know but all right well Kyle's also not exactly the most
00:55:03reliable narrator I can't look I'm gonna be home in a few hours
00:55:14no I'm here
00:55:19no my service is fine I'm gonna I'll be home in a few hours and then we can talk
00:55:32okay
00:55:33great four hours and 37 minutes to destination
00:55:57so
00:56:06so
00:56:10so
00:56:34can you please talk about last night
00:56:37about what
00:56:40at all that I mean
00:56:44do you remember any of it I know you can black out big chunks when you drink like that
00:56:53I remember that you lied to me about getting engaged I remember that I tried to tell you
00:56:59that first night I had this whole thing planned it's the whole reason we did the trip
00:57:05you lied to me all weekend no I tried to tell you all weekend another lie that's great why do
00:57:14you
00:57:14always lie honestly you lie to me all the time I'm not a liar it's just really hard to be
00:57:18honest
00:57:19with you I mean you hate everything you hate everyone I don't hate everyone admit you hate John
00:57:27admit it you've never liked him you roll your eyes when you talk you don't laugh at his jokes I
00:57:31don't
00:57:31know why he's so sweet but you have always hated him I hate how boring he makes you boring why
00:57:36because
00:57:36I don't want to babysit your fucking benders at least I'm not stuck in some sad routine I'm not sad
00:57:42I'm
00:57:42happy you look happy why don't you call it I'm serious why don't you leave the city go drown your
00:57:50personality white wine with Gwen that sounds better than staying here and wasting it with you one weekend
00:57:55at a time why don't you try caring about something why don't you try making a fucking effort
00:58:06why don't you grow up I am growing up cocaine doing cocaine is fun Katie okay yeah well maybe we're
00:58:13too
00:58:14different now yeah maybe we are
00:58:25get out
00:58:33hey there she is how you doing you feeling okay yeah let's go out of the shower
00:58:38okay
00:58:49and watch the shadow from
00:58:52I keep the hurt I'd rather feel
00:59:01and watch the shadow from my knees
00:59:12there were two pigs okay and they're in the same pit of mud and the wife pig turns over to
00:59:18the
00:59:18husband pig and she says have you seen farmer joe's pants lately
00:59:28why would you cancel the husband goes oh that's so funny I thought he said pork chop
00:59:43I could thank you so much everybody for the next time
00:59:54oops did a thing officially secured series B fundy for my startup
01:00:02how do you think posted that
01:00:03what uh oh oh oh oh um
01:00:08Elon Musk
01:00:10uh no no it's someone we know
01:00:12oh oh uh um
01:00:17I give up
01:00:18uh okay um no it was
01:00:21Diane's date from uh New Year's
01:00:23no I don't I don't I don't even think I've met her
01:00:26oh is she friends with Delaney speaking of which is Delaney coming to dinner this weekend
01:00:32I don't think so
01:00:35why
01:00:35well we're gonna fight
01:00:38the two of you are fighting
01:00:40yeah
01:00:40that's
01:00:41maybe never happened in the history of the world
01:00:44what happened
01:00:44um it's very dumb
01:00:46it was about the engagement
01:00:47oh
01:00:49I
01:00:50so I never actually told her she found out on my phone and went ballistic and
01:00:56wait wait wait what do you mean you didn't you didn't tell her that
01:00:58I mean remember I tried and you called so I couldn't really and then I tried later that night and
01:01:02it got extremely weird
01:01:03no no no no don't don't don't do that I let you wait until the perfect moment to tell her
01:01:10how you
01:01:11wanted to tell her and you said you would do that on the trip you told me you would handle
01:01:14that on the trip so we could start planning our wedding
01:01:16I mean you're a little obsessed with planning the wedding
01:01:19well yeah I want to celebrate our marriage with our family and our friends
01:01:23no offense I don't think you really get it you know I don't think you get me and Delaney exactly
01:01:27I don't think you could
01:01:28see how do you how do you say that
01:01:30I've been nothing but accommodating to you and your friend she has a drawer in our dresser
01:01:36you said that was fun
01:01:36it was
01:01:38it is
01:01:40but I just want to know when you're going to choose us
01:01:43right when when you will stop bending our lives together for Delaney
01:01:48it's not just Delaney
01:01:50no no no no what do you what do you what do you mean
01:01:53you know marriage can really change your life
01:01:55and and a lot of times for the better
01:01:58which I think will be you know our case and I'm very excited of course but
01:02:03there's just a lot of changes like for example you know eventually we will probably want to move out of
01:02:07the city
01:02:07and that's fine and I'm you know we'll do that for you and
01:02:11you go out there and then all of a sudden all your friends are married couples that moved out there
01:02:15too
01:02:15and and nobody knew you before you were a married couple
01:02:18so it's actually a bit like you didn't exist before you were part of a married couple
01:02:22so that's the new you
01:02:23I'm just gonna I'm just gonna stop you
01:02:24I don't even know what to believe at all
01:02:29John
01:02:35so anyways popcorn to Delaney
01:02:37I didn't have any peaks this week
01:02:41well a week of valleys spends time in our cal eventually
01:02:45everything okay?
01:02:46yeah it's everything's okay
01:02:48Delaney we're here if you ever want to share obviously
01:02:51but you seem to hate peaks and valleys so
01:02:53I don't hate peaks and valleys
01:02:56really?
01:02:57once you thought you were muted and you screamed fuck when we started playing the game
01:03:01okay fine
01:03:03um
01:03:06my valley was
01:03:10my best friend
01:03:12lied to me about getting engaged
01:03:15what?
01:03:18wow
01:03:18wow that is a deep valley
01:03:21very deep
01:03:24okay let's dive into this
01:03:26let's dive into this
01:03:27come on we're here for you
01:03:30wow
01:03:31your hair
01:03:32I always pictured
01:03:33pictured you as a blonde
01:03:35look at you
01:03:36okay so wait
01:03:37tell me everything
01:03:38who is this fiance
01:03:39what's his name?
01:03:40yeah
01:03:41John
01:03:42where's John from?
01:03:44yep
01:03:44John
01:03:45the Midwest
01:03:47what state?
01:03:48Minneapolis
01:03:51Michigan or Minnesota
01:03:53it's an M
01:03:53I just
01:03:54I can't remember right now
01:03:56you seem like you must hate him
01:03:58I don't hate him
01:04:00I don't hate John
01:04:01that's very nice
01:04:02it's your best friend
01:04:02so you're trying to be nice
01:04:03but like what did he do?
01:04:04he obviously cheated
01:04:05he obviously
01:04:06he cheated
01:04:07he did cheat
01:04:08Alex
01:04:08he cheated
01:04:09John did not cheat
01:04:10John's not a cheater
01:04:11he's totally obsessed with her
01:04:15but too obsessed
01:04:16probably
01:04:18no
01:04:19no
01:04:20no
01:04:20to where it's like
01:04:22true crime
01:04:23no
01:04:25he treats her really well
01:04:26he's a very good guy
01:04:28so he treats her well?
01:04:32yeah he treats her well
01:04:35wait and she
01:04:36is she like
01:04:37happy with him?
01:04:41yeah
01:04:44okay wait
01:04:45sorry for the disconnect here
01:04:46but what's the problem?
01:04:49and the toy guy said that
01:04:51that's the most popular thing he sells
01:04:52yeah no
01:04:53the kids wanted one of these
01:04:54I just got them a new globe
01:04:56but
01:04:56never enough
01:04:57where's John?
01:04:59his work thing
01:05:01oh
01:05:01did he decide if he wanted the chicken or lamb skewers
01:05:04for the cocktail hour?
01:05:05shoot
01:05:05I'll ask him
01:05:06I'm not sure
01:05:07if you get that thing
01:05:08wet
01:05:09it turns blue
01:05:10so he's rehabbing brittle hips
01:05:12after sundown
01:05:13he's really burning the midnight oil
01:05:16and
01:05:16if you wanted to go back to red again
01:05:19you just put it in the sun
01:05:20is there trouble in paradise?
01:05:23you can't hide from an empath
01:05:25little sister
01:05:27um
01:05:29Delaney and I got into a fight
01:05:30and now
01:05:31John and I are
01:05:33in a bit of a fight about
01:05:34that fight
01:05:35of course
01:05:36no no no
01:05:36we all saw this coming
01:05:38you know
01:05:39you guys are emotionally stunted
01:05:40Daria says you both have arrested development
01:05:43I never said that
01:05:44very much
01:05:44so you just happened to leave your notebook open to a page
01:05:46that said never individuated into adulthood
01:05:48did you find the key to my office again?
01:05:50it doesn't matter
01:05:50look the medical fact is
01:05:51you guys are basically still kids
01:05:53who are clinging on to each other
01:05:55in the cafeteria of life
01:05:56you're emotionally stunted
01:05:59oh that's a very mature response Katie
01:06:02do you see what I'm saying?
01:06:04you're stunted
01:06:05it's so rich coming from you
01:06:07look I'm sorry
01:06:08I really hate to be the one to have to tell you this
01:06:10but it might actually be time for you to grow up
01:06:13we have all had to
01:06:15did we?
01:06:16I mean did we all have to?
01:06:17you were like 40 years old
01:06:19and you still blame everything on our parents
01:06:20you're emotionally stunted
01:06:22not me
01:06:22tell him Daria
01:06:23no no no Daria
01:06:24tell her that she's narcissistic like dad
01:06:25do you know that the DSM-5
01:06:27defines narcissism as a personality disorder
01:06:30right Daria?
01:06:30a cluster B personality disorder
01:06:32which I think we can both agree
01:06:33you have
01:06:34I have a personality disorder?
01:06:36oh my god
01:06:36you're delusional
01:06:37you're literally medically delusional
01:06:40you're certifiable
01:06:41Daria tell him
01:06:42you have every symptom
01:06:43tell him
01:06:43shut up
01:06:44just shut the fuck up
01:06:51today I listened to a man
01:06:53detail an intense reptilian fetish
01:06:56that's ruining his marriage
01:06:57and I had to tell him
01:06:59no
01:06:59that's not weird
01:07:01that you want an iguana
01:07:02to act as a third
01:07:05a girl ate rocks
01:07:07in front of me
01:07:09and I had to tell
01:07:10a mother
01:07:11who told me that
01:07:12she lost her pregnancy
01:07:14I had to promise her
01:07:16that she would get over it
01:07:18one day
01:07:19do you guys want
01:07:20a medical diagnosis
01:07:23you are both
01:07:24ungrateful
01:07:25shits
01:07:37I can't believe
01:07:38she said all that stuff
01:07:39about her patients
01:07:42I mean isn't that supposed
01:07:43to be like really private
01:07:46okay
01:07:48I know we didn't have
01:07:50the ideal childhood
01:07:53but you cannot keep using it
01:07:55as an excuse
01:07:57I mean come on
01:07:59can you be the adult
01:08:00for once
01:08:03can you help me
01:08:04for once
01:08:07things are gonna be
01:08:08okay with John
01:08:12I don't know actually
01:08:15yeah he's
01:08:17he's really mad
01:08:18people get mad
01:08:19Katie
01:08:21it's part of life
01:08:22and it's gonna be
01:08:23a long road
01:08:24if you walk around
01:08:25trying to make everything
01:08:26nice for everybody
01:08:26all the time
01:08:27you've gotta be honest
01:08:30I know
01:08:32what Delaney means to you
01:08:34and I know
01:08:34how much she was there
01:08:35for you when you were kids
01:08:36and yes
01:08:37I maybe thought
01:08:37that you were freaks
01:08:40but what you had
01:08:40was special
01:08:42you guys had a great run
01:08:48so maybe it's okay
01:08:51that it's over
01:08:52sometimes the past
01:08:53can't last
01:08:57pass me to my poem journal
01:08:59hurry up
01:09:00quick quick quick quick
01:09:04okay I made a guest list
01:09:06pretty much everyone
01:09:07who's coming is cool
01:09:08except for like
01:09:08one other assistant
01:09:09from my office
01:09:10have I shown you
01:09:11her grid before
01:09:12she posts so much
01:09:14emo shit
01:09:14it's like
01:09:15we get that
01:09:16you have cancer
01:09:17maybe she won't support
01:09:19what?
01:09:21or seeing it
01:09:22helps other people
01:09:23oh it doesn't help me
01:09:25I meant other sick people
01:09:27right
01:09:29wait
01:09:29how much do we
01:09:30hate Katie
01:09:31like we haven't talked
01:09:32about this at all
01:09:33yeah
01:09:34what she did
01:09:36wasn't great
01:09:37you know what I always say
01:09:39hate motivates
01:09:40liking stuff
01:09:41I can motivate too
01:09:43no liking stuff
01:09:44is for sheep
01:09:45plus hating stuff
01:09:46is like our thing
01:09:47we both know
01:09:48the whole world sucks
01:09:50the whole world sucks
01:09:52yeah
01:10:01I think I need to leave
01:10:03I mean same
01:10:04this place is a shithole
01:10:05like it's obviously
01:10:06a temporary situation
01:10:07no
01:10:09I just don't want to be
01:10:10around you anymore
01:10:14I hate
01:10:15that we love to hate people
01:10:17it makes me feel
01:10:18sick
01:10:20and I want to
01:10:21feel good
01:10:23I want to be happy
01:10:25I want to be happy
01:10:26for other people
01:10:26I want to be happy
01:10:27for my family
01:10:27I want to be happy
01:10:28for my friends
01:10:33but I don't know
01:10:33how to do that
01:10:35I don't know
01:10:36how to be happy
01:10:38for people
01:10:46did you like
01:10:46write that in your
01:10:47notes app
01:10:48to say to me
01:10:48that's so fucking
01:10:50lame Delaney
01:10:53okay bye
01:10:58just keep breathing
01:11:00oh
01:11:00okay
01:11:01other side
01:11:02one second
01:11:03sorry
01:11:07Delaney
01:11:10hi
01:11:11what happened
01:11:12is everyone okay
01:11:13what
01:11:14yeah
01:11:16um
01:11:18then um
01:11:20why are you here
01:11:25where are you from
01:11:26where are you from
01:11:29uh
01:11:32Illinois
01:11:34I knew that
01:11:38did you like it
01:11:39there in Illinois
01:11:42do you mind
01:11:44do you mind
01:11:47what is it
01:11:51what is this
01:11:53yeah
01:11:57yeah I lived in Illinois
01:11:59pretty much my whole life
01:12:01high school
01:12:01college
01:12:03go Phoenixes
01:12:04it was our
01:12:06college mascot
01:12:07yeah my whole family
01:12:08went there
01:12:08and I
01:12:09am so
01:12:10sorry
01:12:10that I didn't tell you
01:12:12that I was gonna propose
01:12:13to Katie
01:12:15it's okay
01:12:18probably made you hate me
01:12:19even more
01:12:19I
01:12:20I
01:12:21never hated you
01:12:22I hated you existed
01:12:26that was
01:12:27I
01:12:27right
01:12:30you never did anything wrong
01:12:34I did
01:12:36everything
01:12:36to make it
01:12:37incredibly weird
01:12:39for you
01:12:40and I'm
01:12:41I'm
01:12:41really sorry
01:12:47I'm
01:12:47really happy
01:12:48it's you
01:12:52I
01:12:53will
01:12:53let you
01:12:54back to work
01:12:55yeah
01:12:55yeah
01:12:58we're
01:12:58actually
01:12:58in a fight
01:13:01she lied to me
01:13:02about telling you
01:13:04and I
01:13:05just don't
01:13:06understand why
01:13:06she can't be
01:13:07honest
01:13:08with me
01:13:11I
01:13:11don't know
01:13:14maybe she's
01:13:15afraid of losing us
01:13:18or maybe
01:13:19it's
01:13:21trying to protect us
01:13:23you really don't know
01:13:27I do know that
01:13:32getting older is
01:13:35really scary
01:13:43I'm not paying
01:13:45for this
01:13:46I got his card
01:13:47on file
01:13:50can we talk
01:13:52I mean
01:13:53what are we doing
01:13:54I
01:13:54I
01:13:54I can't take
01:13:55more silent treatment
01:14:00that's my client
01:14:01Jerry
01:14:04uh
01:14:05yeah I know
01:14:06Jerry
01:14:07do you know
01:14:08his wife
01:14:09Marlene
01:14:10you know
01:14:10they've been
01:14:11married for years
01:14:12lived in four
01:14:13states
01:14:13three countries
01:14:16they got
01:14:17divorced
01:14:17got back
01:14:18together
01:14:20lived in next
01:14:21door houses
01:14:21just for their own
01:14:22space
01:14:25so they built
01:14:25this place
01:14:28together
01:14:31I don't know
01:14:32what the rest
01:14:32of our lives
01:14:33will look like
01:14:34but it can be
01:14:35whatever we
01:14:36want it to be
01:14:38I love you
01:14:38I love you
01:14:39I love you too
01:14:41I'm sorry
01:14:43I'm sorry
01:14:45I'm sorry
01:14:45I lied
01:14:48and I'm gonna
01:14:49do better
01:14:50I know
01:14:51I know
01:14:51she told me
01:14:53who
01:14:55Delaney
01:14:57um
01:14:58when
01:14:59when did you
01:14:59see Delaney
01:15:01today
01:15:01she came by
01:15:02the office
01:15:04why
01:15:05she's like
01:15:05what
01:15:06like returning
01:15:07the stuff
01:15:07I had in her
01:15:08apartment
01:15:08or
01:15:11she
01:15:12wanted to know
01:15:13where I was from
01:15:17yeah
01:15:20actually
01:15:25go get your girl
01:15:29go on
01:15:30yeah
01:15:31yeah
01:15:36open up your gate
01:15:37there you go
01:15:43yeah
01:15:44yeah
01:15:46I
01:15:53yeah
01:15:54yeah
01:16:12Katie, no. There's a list, and you're not the aesthetic. And honestly, even if you were,
01:16:16there's already a Jennifer here, and you can't, like, have a Jennifer and a Katie, you know?
01:16:20Yeah, okay. Um, Roxy, I know you think I'm lame, but I know that you're miserable, and that's
01:16:27why you're so mean. But I feel bad for you. Okay? Yeah. Same. Yeah. Uh, where's Delaney?
01:16:37Where do you think? Fuck.
01:16:44Occupied! Occupied! Delaney, drop the drugs! I said Occupied!
01:16:53So, I was gonna... Sorry, um, can I go first? Because I'm feeling brave, and that might
01:16:59go away. Twelve.
01:17:08I look at you, and I feel like we are still twelve years old. And I really love that.
01:17:16But we're not twelve years old anymore. And we can't spend every second together anymore.
01:17:26And we don't like all the same things anymore, as much as I try to fight that.
01:17:32And I want to get married. And I want to have kids.
01:17:38And I want to save pictures of bathroom renovations I like.
01:17:45And I want to make little dishes for my keys. And I want to move out of the city. And
01:17:51I know you don't want that stuff.
01:17:52You don't even like that stuff, actually. And you don't even really like people who do.
01:18:00Just scary.
01:18:06And I didn't tell you about the engagement, because I was afraid you wouldn't be happy for me.
01:18:12And that would just break my heart beyond repair.
01:18:18And I'm so happy about this next chapter of my life. But I'm terrified that you don't want to be
01:18:23a part of it.
01:18:27And I know I really messed up by lying. And I'm really, really sorry.
01:18:35And if things are different now, I understand.
01:18:40And if we end up parting ways, I just wanted to say thank you.
01:18:51Being your best friend has just been the highlight of my life.
01:18:59And I think we're really lucky to have lasted as long as we did.
01:19:19It's not every day your kid's sister gets married.
01:19:22I'm incredibly honored to be here. And I was asked to put a couple words together and to try to
01:19:28capture
01:19:28the spirit of marriage and what it means to our civilization. And particularly what it means
01:19:36to these two very special people. So I've done my best. And I think you'll agree.
01:19:45Love's passion. Always in fashion.
01:19:50French kissing. Sad to be missing. Willows swaying. Children playing.
01:19:59Love will find a way. Today. Forevermore. Into Dawn, Katie, and John.
01:20:13You have truly won the game.
01:20:31Thank you for that beautiful poem, Henry.
01:20:38Okay. Let's do this.
01:20:43Dearly beloved.
01:20:56This is so crazy. You spend more time with like a hairdresser than you do with like your best friends.
01:21:03One hundred percent. My eyebrow woman is closer to me. I text her. We're on texting basis.
01:21:08Girl, I got what you desire. Yeah.
01:21:16I got a love key to light your fire. Oh, girl.
01:21:24And then give that a song.
01:21:27It's like really fun just to like sleep, right?
01:21:30To be in bed for a full 24 hours. People say that's a luxury.
01:21:36I say that's a luxury. Exactly.
01:21:37A hundred percent, a hundred percent.
01:22:02Kind of depressing. It is. Well, that's, that's, that's, that's what they tell you at school. You never listen.
01:22:09You know, that like, you're like, that won't be me.
01:22:23I'm fostering a bass and ham this week.
01:22:26I know. I'm so running around.
01:22:29I don't. I need it. I honestly, I cannot even stand it. I need it here.
01:22:34Just stay up for a matter of mind.
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