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Boyzone No Matter What S01E01 (2025) [Full Movie] [Full Version]Full EP - Full
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00:01The following programme contains strong language.
00:10Hello!
00:12No, far away, far away now.
00:14Faraway trivia.
00:16Stephen Gagey once lived in a faraway trivia.
00:18Hi Melinda, hello.
00:21Are you laughing? Are you laughing at me?
00:23No, no.
00:24We were the most unlikely bunch to succeed.
00:28We weren't perfect, we weren't polished.
00:30Shane! How are you?
00:32We were a bunch of kids, put together.
00:36Pushed out on a world stage.
00:38Don't know where Mikey is.
00:39Ah, there he is.
00:41Told to look like superstars.
00:43Good luck, guys.
00:44Perhaps that was part of our charm.
01:06And the winner is...
01:08MyZone!
01:16Look at that one.
01:17Look at that one.
01:19Turn that way, look at that one.
01:29There was a massive argument in the dressing room.
01:32And I lost the plot.
01:34The band imploded.
01:35I was ready to get the fuck out of there.
01:38It was a lonely time.
01:40Standing on stage in front of 100,000 people.
01:43Fucking lonely.
01:45It was absolutely scandalous, horrendous,
01:49what the newspaper did to Stephen.
01:51The famous Louis Watson.
01:53Louis hurt me.
01:54He knew how to hurt me.
01:57Vicious, bitchy, horrible things.
02:00I think he was afraid that the monster might become bigger than the creator.
02:04As it became bigger, so did their egos.
02:07They believed their own publicity.
02:10They forgot I wrote it.
02:11Good evening, Manchester!
02:17The boy's own singer, Stephen Gately, has died.
02:21He was 33.
02:25It's very hard.
02:35We loved each other, the five of us.
02:39But you never truly allow people to see all of you and who you are.
02:43I don't think I've processed everything that's happened in my life.
02:47I don't know how much they do know about me and my struggles.
02:53After 30 years, I think now's the time to talk about it and close this chapter in our lives.
03:08THEME SONG
03:21Hi, Who are we doing?
03:32OK, so I want you to sort of take me back, early 90s.
03:37Look, I'm back on it.
03:39And the 90s were a fucking blur.
03:46Three, two, one, go, Bobby!
04:03Another fantastic year for take-backs.
04:06They've swept the smash-its home in a party board completely clean.
04:16In 1993, I was 16 years of age.
04:19I was at school.
04:21We were a working-class family in Dublin.
04:23Didn't have a lot of money.
04:25There was a story in the paper.
04:27They're holding auditions for the Irish answer to take that.
04:31This was right up my street.
04:33I love to sing, love to perform.
04:36It was happening that evening around the corner,
04:39and I remember just seeing these big lines of guys
04:42all down the stairs, outside, out onto the street, about 300 lads.
04:47I remember walking in and walking up the stairs
04:50and looking at these guys thinking,
04:52wow, they look like pop stars.
05:19I just remember thinking, I'm never going to get in.
05:22I clearly remember that, a million percent.
05:27But I got noticed by Louis Walsh.
05:36I'm just waking up properly.
05:38That's fine.
05:42I prefer ordinary people because they work harder
05:46and they do whatever you wanted to start.
05:50I wanted to do, like, an Irish version of take that.
05:54I was looking for boys with personality and talent and fun
05:59and Irish charm.
06:02I wanted that.
06:03It was all about what are girls going to like?
06:08I had met Shane before.
06:10Shane had a great look.
06:12And even if he wasn't a great singer, I was going to work with him.
06:20I would have been 17 years old.
06:22I worked for my dad as a car mechanic, working underneath cars.
06:27Fucking rain running down the back of your neck.
06:30Louis Walsh promised us the sun, moon and stars from the beginning.
06:36He goes, lads, I'm going to make this happen
06:38and you're going to be big pop stars around the world.
06:41And we went, OK, and believed him.
06:44They were so keen.
06:45They so wanted something different in their lives.
06:48They were doing nothing.
06:49And this was a chance of something great.
06:52Oh, can't you see it, baby?
06:57You've got me going crazy.
07:01I do remember Stephen Gately.
07:04Steele.
07:05Steele just had this charisma that was crazy.
07:08And he knew how to be a pop star.
07:10He had, he just had it.
07:12He had that thing.
07:14I was still at school doing my final exams.
07:18But I love singing.
07:19I go around all day, every day singing.
07:22Singing, singing, singing.
07:24I always knew that I wanted to be successful
07:26in the entertainment business, no matter what.
07:34All of us had to sing.
07:35And then they stopped playing the keyboards
07:39and they wanted to see us dancing.
07:45They put on various songs and called different names
07:48and we'd have to jump up and dance around the room.
07:52So, of course, what did I do was pull my clothes off.
07:56Rightly or wrongly, that's what I did.
07:58And I kind of danced and probably gyrated.
08:03I was 19 at the time.
08:05Dropped out of college.
08:06I was living in an apartment.
08:08It was more of a squat.
08:11I'm going to be brutally honest and say,
08:13I definitely think, you know,
08:15I was put into the band because of how I looked at the time.
08:18I don't think I was taken on because of my voice.
08:21Well, they had to look good.
08:23It wasn't just all about the vocals.
08:26They had to look good.
08:27You had to get girls' attention.
08:29Shout me your sir legs.
08:30Roman.
08:31Keating.
08:31Keating.
08:32Shane.
08:32Rich.
08:33Rich.
08:34Stephen.
08:35Kate's not here.
08:36Louis picked six.
08:38Stephen.
08:39Shane.
08:41Keith.
08:42Myself.
08:44And then two other lads, Richard and Mark.
08:48And that was boys' own.
08:51We were all young, 16, 17, 18-year-old boys.
08:55Nobody prepares a teenager for the world that they're about to live in.
09:00Nobody prepares them for the pressure cooker that they're about to kind of jump into.
09:05OK, well, who is who now?
09:06You identify yourself.
09:07I'm Ronan Keating.
09:08Ronan Keating.
09:08Where are you from?
09:09I'm from Sordes.
09:10From Sordes.
09:10OK, and who are you?
09:11I'm Mark Walton.
09:12Mark Walton from Rohini.
09:14Rohini.
09:14Keith Duffy.
09:15Rohini.
09:15Rohini.
09:16Shane Lynch.
09:17Rohini.
09:17Richard Rock.
09:18Rob Mines.
09:18Stephen Gatling.
09:19Seventh place.
09:20The next day, we get a call to say we're going on The Late Late Show tonight, which in Ireland
09:26is the biggest, it's the biggest TV show in the country.
09:30I was told you don't play any instruments at all, none of you.
09:33There's a lot of liars.
09:35I was also told that you don't sing at all, none of you.
09:39And Louis Walsh said, you're going to perform on The Late Late Show live.
09:42And we said, perform what?
09:44We haven't learned anything.
09:45We don't know each other that well.
09:47You know, perform what?
09:49Doesn't matter.
09:49We'll make it up.
09:50We just need to get you on TV.
09:51We need to get you in the papers and we need to get you on TV.
09:54So we didn't sing anything.
09:55We just danced to a piece of music.
09:57And it was, yeah, it was pretty, it was a moment.
10:01All right.
10:01Okay.
10:02Cue the music.
10:03Let's hear it.
10:22Oh God, it hurts now today.
10:2530 years later, it still hurts.
10:32But we were loving it.
10:33We didn't care.
10:34We didn't give a shit.
10:36We loved it.
10:41I don't think there's any love-hate relationship with that video whatsoever.
10:45I fucking hate it.
10:46I hate it so much.
10:49But how I felt at the time was great because I'm on the telly doing a little dance.
10:56I'm in a band.
10:59Knowing the journey had begun.
11:03After the late, late, we thought we were pop stars.
11:07After some photo shoots we did, Louis Walsh wasn't happy.
11:11Visually wasn't happy with how we were looking.
11:15And the other two guys, Mark Walton and Richard Rock, he just decided that they didn't fit in the group.
11:23He decided that they didn't gel.
11:26And the two of them were out.
11:28I thought, holy shit.
11:30Like, if Louis could get rid of two members of the band, he'd get rid of any one of us
11:33at any moment.
11:33So you've got to work harder, ten times harder than anybody else to keep your position in the band.
11:41I had to let them know that they could all be replaced at any time.
11:46I had to make sure they were hungry and they were ambitious and they didn't take anything for granted.
11:53I was like that from day one.
11:57They were all insecure because they didn't know whether they were going to make it or not.
12:03They just had ambition.
12:05That was the one thing they all had.
12:07They all had great dreams and great ambitions, as did I.
12:12I knew five was the perfect number.
12:16If somebody leaves, you still have four left, so you're okay.
12:20So five was the perfect number, and we got Michael Graham in.
12:26When Mick joined the band, he came in, the other two have left, and this is the guy.
12:31He's number five.
12:33He was very talented, very openly talented.
12:37He could write songs and he could sing and he could play and he could do all of that.
12:43So he was an immediate talent, yes, for sure.
12:46He had a really cool look, you know.
12:48I just thought, oh, he's cool, man.
12:49And Mick always had a guitar on his back and a foil full of songs under his arm,
12:54and that was kind of his thing.
12:58I've not spoke to Mick for four years.
13:03I think there's an element of industry that damaged him.
13:10If I'm being honest, I think Mikey was a little bit lost in a boy band.
13:16Mikey himself is quite the recluse.
13:20Okay.
13:21That's it.
13:22One take two.
13:23Yeah.
13:31I just want to give my own honest account of my experience in the band.
13:40And that is very, very different from the other guys.
13:55In the very early days, everything was brand new to us.
14:00And we had our whole future ahead of us.
14:03And nobody had yet been tainted by any of the negative aspects of fame.
14:15We spent 1994 traveling around Ireland in a white transit van, top to bottom, north, south, east, west.
14:25We traveled everywhere.
14:28We had song crack.
14:29We had song crack in the back of that transit van.
14:32It was a perfect fit.
14:33It just felt like I had a family around me.
14:36The boys were family.
14:39It was great.
14:50We were traveling around Ireland and playing venues that weren't venues.
14:54You know, tables that were taped together in a nightclub.
15:00We mimed two backing tracks.
15:04We only had two live microphones.
15:06And what we would do is we had three dummy microphones.
15:09We choreographed movements so that we could turn and our backs would be to the audience.
15:14And we could swap mics so that everybody got a chance to talk live between songs and do their link.
15:20Well, watch us take that one.
15:23The girls all loved us.
15:25The girls rushed up to the front.
15:26But guys hated us.
15:28They'd throw ice cubes at us and throw coins at us and they'd bill us.
15:33There was loads of points where I thought, oh, I'm wasting my time.
15:37This is not going to make any money or not going to be successful for anybody.
15:41And I had a lot of sleepless nights.
15:46But I knew they had something.
15:48And I thought, let's make the record to get them noticed, get them attention.
15:54We borrowed the money.
15:56It was 10,000 quid.
15:58And we recorded the song.
16:01I get a call from Louis saying that myself, Stephen and Ronan were being sent over to record the first
16:11boys' own song.
16:13The three of us were sent over to London.
16:16They obviously kind of knew from the auditions that the other lads had stronger singing voices than Shane and I.
16:24And for that reason, there was no need for the additional expense of two more flights and two more hotel
16:29rooms and whatever.
16:30We just felt absolutely robbed.
16:33We felt, that's not fair.
16:34There wasn't a lot of money for flights, so I just brought the best singers with me.
16:39Our parents paid for the flights for Shane and I to join the other three lads.
16:43My parents certainly didn't have a lot of money, so they would have had to scrimp and scrape to get
16:48the money together for my flight.
16:49But they did.
16:50Right, lads, let me explain what's going to happen.
16:52All of you, one at a time, are going to start out listening to what's on tape and copying it.
16:57I've done this for a few years.
16:58I know what I'm talking about.
16:59We went to meet this guy called Ian Levine, who was the big pop producer at the time.
17:04He produced Bad Boys, Inc. and Early Take That.
17:08So this was a big deal for Boyzone to get in the room.
17:10And we recorded the Detroit Spinner song, Work On My Way Back To You.
17:17One by one, he'd pull us in studio to record the lead vocal on the track.
17:25And we were testing vocals and Stephen sang and Mikey sang.
17:29And then Ian Levine says to Louis, get rid of the blonde one, he can't sing.
17:35And I guess I didn't cut the mustard.
17:37I wasn't good enough.
17:38Mikey and Stephen were immediately good enough.
17:46You know, I found it very hard.
17:50I was 16 years of age.
17:53That could have broken me.
17:54That was a very, very tough thing to go through, to be told that to get rid of the blonde
17:58one, he can't sing.
18:00So we recorded the song, myself, Stephen, doing the lead vocals.
18:06It felt good.
18:08It felt positive.
18:11I get into the band because I love to do music, to write music.
18:14So I felt that the future seems kind of brighter if it means that I can progress as a singer
18:24in this band on to bigger and better things.
18:34There are a bunch of lads from North Dublin who are being promoted as Ireland's answer to take that.
18:40Would you please welcome, boys on.
18:48Welcome my way back to you, was only for Irish release.
18:52And I don't think we had an official record deal at that time.
18:55I think we had a one-song deal in Ireland.
19:04We did all the work over here, all the television work, radio work, everything.
19:10Everything, everything non-stop.
19:11I'll be working my way back to you, babe.
19:15With a burning love inside.
19:19Working my way back to you.
19:21Went to number three, I believe, in the charts in Ireland.
19:23So we got quite successful in Ireland with a number three hit.
19:26That's that signal to the UK that Ireland had a band that were worth checking out.
19:34Polydor Records, they came over to Ireland and they offered us a global deal.
19:42So this was our big break.
19:43This was our really big break.
19:45It was a big moment for the band.
19:47The record company said, send your best singers.
19:51Let's make the best record.
19:53Name, age and where you're from.
19:54OK, my name is Mikey Graham.
19:56I had to pick who I wanted to be at the lead singers.
19:59Michael.
20:00Woo!
20:01There was part of me that made me believe that I maybe wasn't as good as I thought I was.
20:06And that maybe I didn't have a position in the band or a place in the band.
20:10And I'm Ronan Keating from Swords.
20:12I'm 17.
20:15Ronan, he was passionate.
20:16He was, he was driven.
20:19Is he competitive?
20:21Yes, hugely competitive.
20:22He would do whatever he needed to do to win, to get what he wanted.
20:29I was a sprinter, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14.
20:32And I won the Irish title.
20:35I took a bit of that with me when I went into the band.
20:39I was trying to impress Louis, because he was the manager.
20:41He had already gotten rid of two members in the band.
20:45I had to impress Louis.
20:47So I was attentive, I was professional, tried to always make myself look like a pop star.
20:54Ronan was always trying to prove himself.
20:56As a singer, as an artist, as an all-rounder, he always wanted to be the front man in the
21:02band.
21:02And good for him.
21:03That's what made him into Ronan.
21:05He had ambition.
21:07I don't think people realise how much work it is.
21:09It's non-stop all the time.
21:11It's dead easy.
21:11It's dead easy, don't worry.
21:12We have a great time.
21:13Look at this guy.
21:14Look at this guy here.
21:15Say hello to the camera.
21:16This is Louis Walsh.
21:17Yes.
21:18The famous Louis Walsh that you hear so much about.
21:21I decided Ronan and Stephen were the lead singers.
21:25I knew Stephen and Ronan had something special.
21:29And I knew girls liked them.
21:31And I knew they wanted it so badly.
21:35I couldn't take a chance.
21:37I had to make the best record with the best singers.
21:39That was it.
21:41There was no favouritism as such.
21:45Without any word to anybody, Ronan was taking the lead role.
21:53I was upset about it at the time.
21:56I tried to convey that.
21:59But it fell upon dead ears.
22:01Listen, they all wanted to be lead singer.
22:04Ronan and Stephen were.
22:05And that was it.
22:06End of story.
22:10Stephen and I went in, did the vocals on that first big single in the UK.
22:15Couldn't wait for my mum to hear it.
22:17That's what I was most excited about.
22:21Oh, wow.
22:21I made that.
22:23You know, that kind of feeling that I made that.
22:24It's mad.
22:31Britain's number two is that old Osmund's classic, Love Me For A Reason.
22:34They're here.
22:34They're live on stage with their biggest fan, Boyzone.
22:53And then Love Me For A Reason goes number two in the charts at Christmas time.
22:58I never had to look back after that because once that single was a hit, I was seen as a
23:02singer in the band.
23:03And I established myself as a singer.
23:06Boyzone was never going to change after that.
23:08And I think we all felt that.
23:09We all knew we were, we had a place in the band.
23:12Don't love me for fun girl.
23:16Let me be the one girl.
23:19Love me for a reason.
23:22Let the reason be love.
23:24That was the beginning of a hard struggle for me through the years.
23:32My confidence that I had beforehand about music fell through the floor.
23:43And it was a bit heartbreaking, I'll be honest with you, when you see an audience full of posters,
23:49you know, for Steven and Roland and Shane and Keith, and then you might see the odd one with Mikey,
23:56you know?
23:57Remember, I was 21.
23:59As a kid, that was tough.
24:03And Louis went from one day speaking with me to never speaking to me for seven years.
24:10And I never knew why.
24:12I had absolutely no idea why.
24:15I just thought he didn't like me.
24:18I probably ignored him a little bit, not realising, but it's because the others were so full on.
24:24I thought he was happy being Michael and being the quiet one at the back.
24:37I was kind of struggling with wanting to contribute more musically.
24:42So the record company sent me away on my own.
24:47I was working in this other studio and really hoping that what I came up with would be
24:54considered.
24:56Brought my stuff back to the record company and they already had the album done in London.
25:01And I wasn't on the album at all.
25:04Don't even think I sang on it.
25:07That horde.
25:08That horde.
25:14And that loss of ambition, high spiritedness, vitality.
25:20When that left me, a lot of things left me.
25:23My interest in my own appearance.
25:29And I didn't drink until I turned about 24-ish.
25:34And I was introduced to Jack Daniels and Coca-Cola.
25:38And that became the thing that kind of got me through the next few years of the sadness
25:44and the disenchantment.
25:47I was very frustrated, angry, depressed.
25:52Because of all of that, I would withdraw from the band.
26:01The truth is I don't know how bad it got because I didn't talk to him.
26:06The truth is I didn't recognize any of his struggles.
26:11I know Mick suffered from sleep.
26:14He was an insomniac.
26:16And I think part of that was pressure.
26:19Part of that was mental struggle.
26:20Part of that was, you know, frustration.
26:22But I don't know how bad it was because we didn't talk.
26:30I also had a young daughter.
26:32So I had that responsibility, financially,
26:35to make sure that she and her mother were taken care of.
26:39But to be honest, if it wasn't for the responsibilities I had in life,
26:46like my daughter, you know, I would have walked.
26:49And I nearly did a couple of times.
26:51Until I kind of calmed down and realized the financial impact
26:56it would have on my family.
26:59So I stayed around.
27:06I think there was still a lot of issues.
27:11And maybe I'm to blame for that.
27:12Maybe I should have paid more attention
27:15and maybe reached out to people that I felt were struggling.
27:20But I was very hungry and I wanted to be great
27:23and I wanted to have my opportunities.
27:24And it created resentment.
27:27And if there's a resentment,
27:30all sorts of demons can appear.
27:37It's a good time.
27:37Hi, welcome back.
27:38The boys are here.
27:39The boys from Dublin.
27:39Hi.
27:40Nice to see you.
27:40Have a quick name check left to right.
27:41Hi, Shane.
27:42I'm Mikey.
27:43Keith, Ronan and Steve.
27:44Welcome, nice to see you.
27:45How long have you been together for?
27:47Just over a year now.
27:49After Love Me For A Reason, we got a big agent,
27:52got a big promoter in the UK, everything changed for them.
27:55The star prize is these three Boyzone hats.
27:59We were on all the UK TV shows, Pepsi, Chart Show,
28:03Top of the Pops, Going Live.
28:05Boyzone was on everything.
28:06Hi, we're Boyzone.
28:08This is our new single, Key To My Life.
28:11You're the key to my life
28:15Our first album was number one.
28:19We had made it at that point.
28:21That was just, wow.
28:23Us five lads from Dublin got this far.
28:26It went crazy for Boyzone.
28:30I'm fucked.
28:32Just travelling constantly.
28:34Airports, airplanes, vehicle, TV studio, radio station.
28:40Hi, I'm Keith, and I'm Rownan, and we're from Boyzone,
28:43and you're watching Johnny's Hit Parade.
28:45Hi, I'm Keith.
28:46And I'm Rownan.
28:47You just do it on your own.
28:49So what did you grab Thailand?
28:50You're watching Smile TV.
28:52You're watching Channel V.
28:53Space Shower TV.
28:55MTV Japan.
28:56Pop 10.
28:56TVK Shuffle.
28:58You're watching Street.
29:00What?
29:00They would literally work you from early in the morning,
29:02like live radio show of five or six in the morning,
29:05to live TV show at 11 o'clock at night.
29:07We're here with picture of you.
29:10Boyzone.
29:12You're just so tired.
29:13When you're finished working, you can't sleep.
29:16We're away.
29:17We're in a hotel in Germany.
29:18We go to the bar, you know.
29:20We get drunk.
29:21You go to bed, you wake up, you've got a hangover,
29:23and you do it all over again.
29:29Louis never travelled with us.
29:31You know, the odd time, if it was something big,
29:33if you're playing Wembley,
29:35but on the day-to-day slogging away,
29:37Louis hated to travel.
29:39Oh, I'm in Dublin.
29:40I hardly, I didn't want to go with them.
29:43Oh, God, no.
29:44I don't think they knew what I actually did.
29:47I don't think they knew the work that actually I did
29:50behind the scenes at all.
29:52They've no idea.
29:53I think they just thought I made phone calls
29:55and it all happened.
29:56But it wasn't just like that, really.
30:03I don't think Boyzone probably realised
30:05how instrumental he was to their success.
30:10There was Take That, who were cleaning up,
30:13and then there was Boyzone,
30:14who needed to do something fast
30:17to get people's attention next to this massive boy band.
30:21And Louis knew exactly what to do
30:24and exactly how to do it.
30:25And that was through the Tabloid Press.
30:28I was working as the Irish Mirror showbiz editor.
30:32My job, essentially, was to go and get the biggest stories
30:35about the biggest stars.
30:37Every day you're challenged with beating every other newspaper.
30:41And there were no rules.
30:43There were no rules.
30:44The only rule was you had to win.
30:46So for me, it was made very clear
30:50when I got into the Mirror
30:52that the Sun were beating us.
30:56This is one of the first conversations I had with my boss.
30:58The Sun are beating us every day on Boyzone.
31:01I didn't give a fuck a year ago, he said,
31:04because they were putting out a load of old tat around Ireland.
31:07Now London are getting obsessed with him
31:09and I need you to become their best mate.
31:14I remember sitting down
31:16and being told to call this guy called Louis Walsh.
31:24So I rang him
31:26and, surprisingly, he didn't just slam down the phone and say,
31:29put in an interview request like everybody else.
31:30He said, give me a call back in two days
31:32and I'll have a story for you.
31:35I always had a really good relationship
31:37with all the people in the press
31:39and the Tabloids were very important.
31:41So, you know, I kept them on side.
31:43I gave them stories.
31:44I told them things.
31:46Louis Walsh, to me, is the master.
31:49And in 20 years of journalism,
31:51is the master puppeteer of the press.
31:54I mean, you can't underestimate
31:56how he rewrote the rule book
32:00about engagement with the press
32:01and why you should do that.
32:02He was access all areas.
32:06And he did play games.
32:08He was shrewd.
32:09He knew what the press needed.
32:13If there wasn't a story going around,
32:15Louis would get you one
32:16and it didn't matter what you wrote
32:18as long as you wrote.
32:21I didn't realise how much
32:22we were in the Tabloids.
32:24Like, twice a week
32:26for five years
32:27we were written about.
32:30And we were out of the country so much
32:32that, you know,
32:32we'd speak to our mums or dads
32:34and they'd say,
32:35oh, I just read this in the paper.
32:37Is it true?
32:37And we're like,
32:38no, it's not true.
32:39Who said that?
32:40And you'd never know who said it.
32:44Oh, yeah, I mean,
32:45sometimes the boys
32:46would read stories in the papers
32:48about themselves
32:49that weren't true
32:51and they'd say,
32:51who told them that?
32:53We, no, I did.
32:54I told them because I am promoting you.
32:57I make them up sometimes
32:59but that's fine.
33:03He believed any story
33:05was a good story.
33:06Any story.
33:07He would make up stories
33:08constantly about the band.
33:10About relationships
33:11with girlfriends
33:13that were non-existent.
33:15Like plane crashes
33:17that were not true.
33:20I had them in a plane crash
33:21once in Australia
33:22and I forgot to tell
33:23the families I made it up
33:24but there was no plane crash.
33:26But it got a good story.
33:28Did you ever feel guilty about it?
33:30I never felt guilty about it.
33:32No way.
33:32I was promoting them.
33:33I was doing my job.
33:35I would do it all again.
33:37Yeah, absolutely.
33:38I'd do even more now.
33:45The invasion of the tabloids
33:47was damaging.
33:48It scared us.
33:50I mean, it was hugely scary.
33:52What the media did to you,
33:53to us all,
33:54having no control,
33:56people making assumptions
33:58on who you are
33:59from what they read in the papers,
34:01the five of us
34:02were massively affected by that.
34:05We all had our fair share
34:07of stories in the paper
34:08that affect us in different ways.
34:10The one
34:11who really had it the most
34:14was Stephen Gately, I'd say.
34:18Can I have a picture?
34:19It's mine.
34:20It's mine.
34:21It's mine.
34:21It's mine.
34:21It's mine.
34:22It's mine.
34:22Deborah!
34:23Deborah, take the picture!
34:25At the time,
34:26Stephen Gately
34:27was very much
34:29a dream ticket
34:31for the tabloids
34:33because every girl
34:34in the country
34:34was mad in love with him.
34:37And Louis
34:38handed me
34:39a dream story
34:40and almost
34:41inconceivably
34:43fantastical
34:44showbiz
34:45home run.
34:46He said,
34:46OK,
34:48I'm giving this
34:49only to you.
34:52Stephen Gately
34:53and Baby Spice
34:54are secretly dating.
35:00Now,
35:01at this time,
35:01the Spice girls
35:03are zigzagaring
35:05around the world.
35:06I mean,
35:07people were
35:08obsessed with them
35:10on a global level.
35:15And Stephen Gately
35:16was single
35:17all the time.
35:20So,
35:20you don't take a step
35:21back to wonder
35:22if it could be true
35:23or if it's been
35:23exaggerated.
35:24You don't care.
35:25It's a home run.
35:26They said it,
35:27print, print, print.
35:29And it did.
35:30I mean,
35:30it went everywhere.
35:37Stephen,
35:37he was living
35:38the dream.
35:40But he had
35:41a big secret.
35:42He didn't want
35:43anyone to know
35:43about it.
35:44He was so scared.
35:46He was so scared
35:47that it was going
35:47to kill his career.
35:53We're at the top
35:54of everything.
35:55Let's hear it.
35:55Come on.
35:58It's like
35:59the challenge
36:00will never change.
36:01It's just so young.
36:03It's just so young.
36:05It's still young.
36:07It's your fault.
36:08It's so much fun.
36:10The 96 was a very,
36:12very special year.
36:13I was 20 years of age.
36:15We're playing Wembley.
36:17It doesn't feel real.
36:18You're still waiting
36:19for somebody
36:20to tell you
36:21you're an imposter.
36:21What are you doing?
36:22You shouldn't be doing this.
36:24It was an absolute
36:25honor to perform
36:27for the fans.
36:29There is nothing
36:30I can say to you
36:32that could describe
36:34the feeling of elation.
36:41We went from strength
36:42to strength
36:43that we didn't dip.
36:44We kept on building
36:46on what
36:47Boys Own World was.
36:49It was huge.
36:50You could do no wrong.
36:53High chart positions,
36:55sell-out tours,
36:56record-breaking ticket sales.
36:58It was so much fun.
37:00So great.
37:01My nickname is
37:02Homeboy
37:02because I'm always homesick.
37:04I was born on
37:05St. Patrick's Day
37:05and I used to be
37:06a dance teacher.
37:07Who am I?
37:08So girls,
37:09who is that homesick chappy?
37:10Steve!
37:11Steve from Boys Own
37:12is here.
37:13They're around here.
37:15Steve and...
37:16He was actually,
37:17from day one,
37:19probably the most popular
37:20member of the band
37:20for girls.
37:21He was the...
37:23heartthrob.
37:23Not Ronan.
37:25Stephen Gately
37:25was a heartthrob.
37:31You know,
37:31we were very close.
37:33We had a great bond
37:34from very young.
37:37Pretty early on,
37:38we had fans
37:40in the garden
37:41of our house.
37:42Like, you know,
37:43they'd be parked outside,
37:45they'd be sleeping there.
37:47My mother would be
37:47making them cups of tea.
37:49He probably wouldn't
37:50come back for days
37:50and they'd be still
37:51sitting outside
37:52waiting for him,
37:53you know.
37:54Sorry, girls,
37:55I'm actually
37:55walking.
37:56You'll have to wait
37:56later on or something.
38:01Where's your camera?
38:03Where's your camera?
38:05I love you.
38:06Can you go?
38:08He was the childhood
38:09sweetheart of millions
38:10of girls.
38:11They loved him.
38:13Steve, let us a kiss
38:14tonight.
38:14Let us a kiss.
38:18That's why we had
38:19to just rush and rush
38:21because if you stay
38:22there too long,
38:23you will not get out.
38:24And he had to negotiate
38:25his way through that.
38:26You could tell that
38:28it had taken a bit
38:29of a toll on him
38:30and we didn't know
38:32why at that time.
38:33We didn't know why.
38:35I certainly didn't.
38:37Stephen, I think,
38:38I think he was probably
38:39about to go on a tour
38:42and he just said
38:44there's something
38:44I need to talk to you
38:45about.
38:46You know,
38:46I said, yeah, okay,
38:47you know,
38:48and I said, well,
38:49let's go for a coffee.
38:51He just said
38:51that, yeah,
38:53I'm gay.
38:54He hadn't said anything
38:55to anyone in my family,
38:57you know,
38:59until he told me.
39:02I knew
39:03the minute I met him
39:04that
39:05he
39:06was
39:08on the bus,
39:10the same bus as me.
39:12And
39:12there was something
39:14about the shared experience.
39:16Pretty soon
39:17he gravitated
39:18towards me
39:19and
39:20started to tell me stuff.
39:22And
39:23I worried for him.
39:24There was
39:25a huge sense
39:27of vulnerability.
39:30and
39:30I knew
39:32where he was from
39:33in Dublin.
39:34So I knew
39:35it could never
39:35have been easy
39:36for him.
39:38Behind the Dublin
39:39Financial Centre,
39:40one of the capital's
39:40symbols of power,
39:42progress and wealth,
39:43hides Sheriff's Street,
39:44symbol of poverty,
39:45dilapidation
39:46and urban decay.
39:48We grew up
39:49in a place
39:50called Sheriff's Street.
39:51Tough,
39:52tough area
39:53growing up like.
39:54I had four brothers,
39:56me and the boys,
39:57had one bedroom.
39:59Myself and Stephen
40:00shared a bed.
40:01He was down one end,
40:02I was up the other.
40:04You know,
40:04it was hard for people.
40:07Sheriff's Street
40:08was
40:08a very,
40:09very rough
40:10and humble
40:11place
40:12and quite unforgiving.
40:14And there would have been
40:16a dominance
40:18of
40:19criminality.
40:20To try and break out of that
40:22was going to be a big deal
40:24because just saying
40:25you were from Sheriff's Street
40:28would have been
40:28a black mark against you,
40:30going for a job,
40:31going for anything.
40:32I was just determined
40:33to be famous
40:34since I was around
40:36nine.
40:37There's no one down my area
40:39that has made it.
40:40I'm going to be the first
40:41to be well known
40:42throughout the world.
40:44He knew
40:45that this was his ticket
40:46out
40:48of the life
40:49that he had.
41:08I was suspicious
41:10that he was gay
41:11from day one,
41:12but I knew
41:14he didn't want anyone
41:15to know about it.
41:17Stephen knew
41:18that keeping Stum
41:20on his real nature
41:23was part of
41:24his ticket out.
41:27We knew Stephen was gay.
41:29Stephen came to us,
41:30you know,
41:30early doors of the band
41:31and he said it to us.
41:33We were there for him,
41:34you know,
41:34as big brothers
41:35and protect him
41:36and look after him.
41:37He was
41:38obviously concerned
41:39about the reaction
41:40that the fans would have
41:41to him being gay.
41:43I mean,
41:43you're talking
41:4425 years ago.
41:45It was a different world
41:46back then.
41:48The Catholic Church
41:49had held
41:50a firm grip
41:51on Irish society.
41:53Ireland was
41:54completely
41:55unwelcoming
41:56to gays.
41:58Teachers,
41:59bank officials,
42:00anybody like that
42:01who was outed
42:02had to leave the country.
42:04They were disgraced.
42:06In 1993,
42:09homosexuality
42:10was decriminalised
42:11in Ireland,
42:12but Stephen
42:13hadn't yet learned
42:14to accept
42:15that it was okay
42:16to be gay
42:17because nobody had.
42:19It had literally
42:19just been decriminalised.
42:21So, you know,
42:23the country
42:23was only catching up
42:24with the rest
42:27of the world
42:29and Stephen
42:30was caught
42:30in the crossfire.
42:31Will you welcome,
42:32please,
42:33boy's own
42:33Stephen Gakling.
42:38I think Stephen's
42:39biggest fear
42:41was rejection.
42:42So, what's all
42:43this stuff about
42:43Kerri-Ann?
42:44I don't know
42:44where I sprang from.
42:45Do you know her?
42:46Yeah, I know her well.
42:47Yeah, she's a really nice girl.
42:48You know, she's done well
42:49and we've known each other
42:50over the past few years.
42:52But there's no romance there?
42:52At all.
42:53No, there's no romance there.
42:54What about Mandy Smith?
42:54We had her on the show
42:55and there was something
42:56talking about that.
42:56He was trying
42:57to straddle both worlds
42:59and keep everybody happy.
43:01Do you think
43:02there's all this pressure
43:02coming on you
43:03because all the other lads,
43:04the four-olds,
43:04are spoken for?
43:05See, I get asked this
43:07all the time.
43:07I mean, every interview
43:08we do with every magazine,
43:10they always ask,
43:11you know,
43:11you're the only one left.
43:11What's the story?
43:12When I find the right person
43:13and when I settle down,
43:14then, you know,
43:15I'll be happy
43:16and I'll let people know.
43:17But at the moment,
43:18I'm just...
43:19His struggle
43:20was eating him alive.
43:21From the moment
43:22Stephen got up in the morning,
43:24until he went to bed at night,
43:26he was overwhelmingly afraid
43:29that he was going to be exposed.
43:33How do you cope
43:34with the success
43:35of the kind of media attention?
43:36It is quite difficult for me.
43:38I do find it hard to cope
43:39at times
43:40and I just like to
43:41shut myself in
43:42in my room.
43:45I'm sensitive
43:46and I can get very upset easily.
43:48But, you know,
43:49I have four great friends
43:51look after me.
43:53Stephen was incredibly fragile.
43:56He was a fragile person
43:57and it wouldn't take much
43:59to push him.
44:00There was many a time
44:01when he would lock himself
44:03in a hotel room
44:04and we couldn't get him out.
44:05He was always on his phone
44:07and you'd never know
44:07who he was on the phone to.
44:08He was always stressed out.
44:10He had a lot of anxiety
44:11going on in his life.
44:12It was a lonely, lonely place.
44:16He was scared of the press
44:18doing the story on.
44:19He was so scared.
44:21Louis did tell me
44:22that some of the papers
44:24were trying to out Stephen.
44:27One of our team
44:30who had a serious contact
44:32in the Sun
44:33had basically given us
44:36their daily summary
44:37of espionage
44:40and it was that
44:42the Sun
44:43are running
44:44a front page
44:46world exclusive tomorrow
44:48that Stephen Gately
44:49is coming out.
44:55We're in the dressing room
44:57in the Coliseum
44:58in Hong Kong.
45:04I was a show
45:05with the editor
45:05at the Sun.
45:08Somebody came
45:09to the Sun
45:10was selling the story
45:11that Stephen was gay.
45:16I wrote the story.
45:19What we were about
45:20to do
45:20was going to change everything.
46:03was going to change everything.
46:04There was no
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