- 26 minutes ago
Girls Help Girls- Divorce Or Die- Full Episode
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00:00:05so i'm flying the space shuttle for the second time and this guy passes out all right it's
00:00:09about that time so are you kissing anybody at midnight yeah him hi just pay him on six five
00:00:26four three two one
00:00:52you have a cute scar
00:00:55it's just my birthmark if you want me to stop tell me now
00:01:02i don't want you to stop
00:01:35i was so drunk last night i can't remember who i was with
00:01:43i must return this to her so i can see her again
00:01:51happy new year sam it's me hey find me the girl from last night i don't care how just do
00:01:57it
00:01:58i will find you
00:02:05maximus can you get married already bring home a wife or at least a girlfriend
00:02:11i need grandkids i need you message received mom
00:02:15i need to go now i have to inspect the new headquarters
00:02:26seven years why can't i ever find you and why do you still haunt me
00:02:39still thinking about that girl boss it's been years
00:02:46i'm ready to go to the inspection now your vest sir
00:02:50but first we found your fake christmas wife she's waiting in the coffee shop blonde hair red top and
00:02:56sir make sure you use an alias we can't have her know you the harrison group ceo or she'll jack
00:03:01up
00:03:01the price good finally i can get my mother off my back
00:03:08hi one iced vanilla latte please and one hot chocolate i can't wait to finally meet my new daddy
00:03:16now auntie deborah and pamela can't say i have no daddy anymore
00:03:21oh sweetie remember it's just pretend it's just for christmas but mommy why do we have to rent
00:03:27daddy where's my real one uh
00:03:36i'll tell you when you're older sweetie why don't you go find us a table
00:03:48daddy no i'm sorry i'm not your dad no i know you're my daddy just as handsome as i thought
00:04:05oh mommy hey your fit christmas husband has arrived
00:04:17i asked the agency for an average looking guy he's gorgeous
00:04:27why does she feel so familiar she's waiting in the coffee shop blonde hair red top
00:04:33you must be my new christmas husband so you're my new christmas wife see i knew you're the new
00:04:40daddy we had right hi my name's cyber what's your name sam didn't say anything about a kid
00:04:47max aurelius eva i think we should probably sit and discuss the details of this fake marriage
00:04:54i just need a wife for the holidays i guess mom gets her grandkid too
00:05:00so per our agreement the rate is one thousand dollars per hour and one thousand an hour well
00:05:08yeah it's 500 a day is that enough that's the most that i can pay you wait you're paying me
00:05:15500 a day
00:05:16that's what i agreed with the agency you'll make your thousands over the week look my requirements are
00:05:22simple okay play my pretend husband come with me to my hometown and we all pretend to be one big
00:05:27happy
00:05:27family and then my family will get off my back so piper can have a good christmas for once
00:05:34so she's getting pressure from the folks too fine but you have to help me get my mom off my
00:05:40case too
00:05:43okay deal
00:05:47i need to go get married
00:06:03wow clean up nice this is my wedding day after all pictures
00:06:16wow guys you're supposed to look like you're in love
00:06:41okay uh well i think we got it oh i need some photos of us together too
00:06:47to prove to prove to my parents that i'm actually married and have a happy family yeah of course
00:07:02happy holidays mom from my family to you
00:07:14bad news boss the agency said that the girl that they recruited to be your fake wife
00:07:18failed last minute wait she bailed then who is
00:07:24who is
00:07:27whatever it doesn't matter i've got what i need
00:07:33sam don't worry about it i already found someone
00:07:41okay well i think it's time for us to go christmas shopping waits for no one christmas shopping i should
00:07:48come look if you want me to be the husband in this fake it to your family plan i think
00:07:53i should have
00:07:54some say in the gifts it will make it more believable
00:08:00fine yeah fine okay you can come
00:08:10let's go which mall are we going to um let's go to that one oh let's go to the bank
00:08:21oh what the actual
00:08:24fuck
00:08:27sam is maximus pulling another one of his goddamn elaborate pranks again
00:08:33give me a dna test for that little girl that he's with
00:08:39she does kind of look like him
00:08:44so when we give these gifts to my parents we will say they're from you
00:08:49here let me get this
00:08:52i'm gonna love you max
00:08:54oh so i was uh thinking that since we're married we should probably kiss once or twice
00:09:05in front of them okay should we use our tongues or no no definitely not and absolutely no sex yes
00:09:15strictly business anything physical outside of that does not have any
00:09:21what afraid you'll fall for me
00:09:25i just don't want piper to have messy complications getting in the way of her having a good christmas
00:09:31let's go
00:09:38here what are you doing i've never let my woman pick up the tab
00:09:44well i'm not your woman and this isn't a real relationship and i don't want your money
00:09:50attention shoppers all bakery items are now fifty percent off fifty percent of pies
00:09:55quick go grab a dozen pumpkin pies 12 pumpkin pies i hear this right they're the best kind
00:10:00hurry up and go go what are you standing here for
00:10:04hello there hi you ready yes yeah just these things okay great we have a holiday special today spend
00:10:12500 get 10 off and you are just short 15 bucks if you want to take advantage of the deal
00:10:17oh great yeah
00:10:18uh what do you have that's just 15 bucks will you get a move on i just got here relax
00:10:25yeah yeah
00:10:29here this will do the trick okay thank you
00:10:33hurry up and pay
00:10:37i will pay when i'm ready you can wait your turn
00:10:44thank you damn my fake wife has some fire in her
00:10:53oh wait wait not the pies
00:11:02hi guys gonna hand you all these pies
00:11:09thank you of course thank you so much of course i hope you like pumpkin thank you
00:11:15she bought all 12 pies don't worry i have enough for everybody just to give it away
00:11:20thank you thank you merry christmas
00:11:28what do you do that often as often as i can
00:11:36we should go we gotta pick up paper
00:11:42watch out
00:12:02you done feeling me up
00:12:05shut up
00:12:05i'm sorry i was just in character wifey
00:12:08well stay out of character until christmas
00:12:15and don't be late
00:12:28harrison group do you do construction for them or something
00:12:32sort of not that i'm judging i just need to get my story straight or my mom will eat both
00:12:38of us alive
00:12:40why don't we say that you do mid-level management for harrison group i think that's respectful
00:12:46can we pick another company
00:12:48no harrison group is perfect and they'll find it impressive my cousin's husband works for them too so
00:12:53it's perfect
00:12:58oh and uh wear something nice for christmas dinner don't worry okay i clean up nicely i wouldn't embarrass you
00:13:07i think it's very much
00:13:32don't worry
00:13:34in water and you have a hair on your shoulder and it's not yours it's my daughter's water's
00:13:42give me a dna test for that little girl that he's with
00:14:09so where's this mysterious husband we heard all about he's coming
00:14:14please don't tell me maximus failed good good good so heard you got a new hubby sweetie
00:14:21when's he arriving oh it's probably just some story she cooked up to stop people talking
00:14:28poor thing not surprising i mean she's 30. once a woman hits that age you become undateable
00:14:35plus a kid looks so bad on dating apps
00:14:41this is exactly why i refuse to come home single this christmas auntie pamela debbie my dating life
00:14:48quite frankly is none of your concern we're only worried about you all these years without a
00:14:53husband zip it pamela you know you always spoiled her rotten and look what happened
00:15:00she got knocked up out of wedlock raising a kid all alone i'm not alone
00:15:05and what does this mysterious husband do
00:15:12he's a manager manager of what trash
00:15:19probably a cover for criminal activity
00:15:23you don't have to lie to us eva actually
00:15:28he's right here
00:15:30oh wow wow wow wow he is really good looking
00:15:37ah must be ai
00:15:39mm-hmm congratulations eva on your photoshop skills
00:15:43fake
00:15:44that's enough she's our daughter and your niece show some respect remember last year when i introduced
00:15:51you to my husband's nephew william and you turned him down well guess what william works for the harrison
00:15:59group now makes 500 grand a year that's half a million half a million girls are lining up for him
00:16:08all the
00:16:09way to new york and speak of the devil
00:16:15willie you made it
00:16:27there you are oh look at you now living the dream oh just think eva well you could be driving
00:16:36around
00:16:37in a car like that had you not married that criminal waste manager so married huh is it serious
00:16:45that's what marriage is it's pretty serious
00:16:49wow you must have rushed the time they're not huh makes sense though you not being a hot young thing
00:16:56anymore dragging that kid around with no daddy yeah a bullet dodged willie meanwhile you're climbing the
00:17:03harrison group ladder that's right just bought this brand new suit of my christmas bonus women love a man
00:17:12in red sexy like santa claus when i sit on my lap don't touch me oh so entitled williams a
00:17:23successful
00:17:23man of taste not waste and yet for some reason he's willing to overlook your baggage i mean look at
00:17:31that car did your husband afford anything even close to that think of the life i can give you
00:17:36and piper with all my harrison group money ditch your nobody husband and marry me instead i wouldn't
00:17:44marry you if you were the last man on first
00:17:51my mom would never marry she already has a husband he's gonna kick your butt
00:17:59is that so well then where is he because i don't see him does anyone see him
00:18:09now just like i thought telling lies just like mommy that puts you on the naughty list
00:18:16and let me show you what happens to naughty children
00:18:22hey mommy hey are you okay see your hands oh my god i want to take her in and get
00:18:29her packed
00:18:29stuff okay come on let's go what the hell's the matter with you how dare you put your filthy hands
00:18:37on my daughter let me go now why would i go and do a thing like that when i'm having
00:18:44such a good time
00:18:45let me go
00:19:01touch my wife again and i will snap every finger that you've got
00:19:08max you came don't worry sweet
00:19:14where's piper william hitter mom deadhead take her inside well it looks like we have a real grinch
00:19:20to dispose of well well well if it isn't the waste manager i've been hearing so much about that's right
00:19:29now i'm about to take out the trash oh mr and mrs smith it's an honor to meet you i'm
00:19:37max
00:19:37eva told us all about you from new york polite handsome just like she said wow he was an ai
00:19:47see he's real and he's more of a man here than william would ever dream to be you son of
00:19:53a
00:19:53bitch you just ruined my suit and watch the way that you drive that that pristine automobile
00:19:59bill that car oh my god that's worth more than a house that car it was all over the news
00:20:07when the
00:20:07ceo of the harrison group bought it wait are you
00:20:17like i said i'm just eva's husband and that's all he needs to know i'm not here to put on
00:20:23a show for
00:20:24anyone you really are a criminal aren't you you stole it that car belongs to the ceo of my company
00:20:29jesus how did you get away with it that's what i want to know enough please
00:20:37i trust my daughter she would never marry a queen
00:20:43max be honest with me where did that car come from
00:20:47how much do you want for it i'll be more money than you'd make it three lifetimes
00:20:52you need a breath man
00:20:58all right that's it i'm calling the cops oh way ahead of you wait what are you feeling nervous eva
00:21:07oh well too late
00:21:15listen hon i believe you but how could max afford a car like that mr smith don't worry it's my
00:21:24car okay
00:21:25it's not stolen yeah if it's yours then prove it thank you cops will be here in 15 minutes
00:21:33enjoy christmas behind bars okay i'll prove that it's mine but then you have to get lost
00:21:38and never show your face around my wife or child again oh so you're a tough guy huh well i
00:21:44hope they
00:21:44serve eggnog in prison loser say one more word and i'll give him a real reason to take me in
00:21:52jesus maybe he is a crime boss it's kind of sexy though
00:21:58here title and proof of ownership
00:22:10mr harrison
00:22:16mr harrison
00:22:17mr harrison
00:22:18just play along
00:22:21very christmas willie now get the fuck out of here before i kick your ass all the way up to
00:22:25the north pole
00:22:26yes sir i i'm so sorry sir i i please please have my serious apologies
00:22:42oh that william what a jerk huh you fooled me what can i say let's not let this little misunderstanding
00:22:51ruin the holidays oh now you don't want to ruin christmas oh come on eva we were just looking out
00:22:57for
00:22:57you please forgive us mr harrison you know my youngest son is graduating soon do you think that
00:23:05you could help him get his foot in the door a job at the harrison group even in the mail
00:23:10room would
00:23:10open doors we are family aren't we family takes care of each other if you guys want a job at
00:23:18the
00:23:18harrison group you can put in an application like everyone else abigail come on talk to her for us
00:23:25didn't you just say that my daughter was undateable yeah i think you need to take care of your own
00:23:30issues first my daughter is just far too busy for your best life my new son-in-law come on
00:23:37guys let's go
00:23:38in welcome to the family welcome come on it this is your fault pam you can't tell the difference
00:23:52between ai and reality my fault you were the one who was pushing her onto that worm william oh
00:24:08hey how do you have that car and how do you know the ceo of harrison group and how i
00:24:13told you i work
00:24:14for harrison group remember i have a friend in high places a friend who just hands you keys to million
00:24:21dollar one-of-a-kind luxury cars yes it's the season of giving he knows people has connections
00:24:28he's a big deal kind of guy you're a crime boss aren't you and you best not forget it capiche
00:24:34oh my
00:24:35just don't blow your cover dad mom thank you so much for letting max and i stay in your home
00:24:43oh honey
00:24:44we're just so happy that you found such a handsome strong good looking i think they get it
00:24:54uh how's piper oh she's fine one of you guys just get settled in and uh we will go check
00:25:00on her
00:25:00and if your mom takes a cold shower we'll come back and finish decorating the tree great all right
00:25:06see you in a bit joey what are you doing okay hey was that not a breach of contract
00:25:19relax it was just a hug oh we just got here and i'm already exhausted you'll be okay it's just
00:25:29one
00:25:29week kill me now well i would but i need to get paid what are you doing that's weird they
00:25:41were so
00:25:42lovey-dovey just a second ago i don't know something just fills off that's ridiculous i mean
00:25:48what do you want to do they have a promise to prove it later let's go
00:26:02here we go piper is all tucked in honey everything looks amazing and happy holidays to the newest member
00:26:10of our family max oh welcome cheers thank you miss smith looks great oh just call me mom honey i
00:26:20had
00:26:20no idea what you liked so i just whipped up a little bit of everything but we all know what
00:26:26eva's favorite
00:26:27christmas dish is right oh no mom's testing him she's trying to see if he's legit you mean to tell
00:26:33me
00:26:33you two are married and you don't even know my baby girl's favorite food
00:26:40ow eva sweetie kicking my foot oh sorry mom i oh jeez
00:26:48it's okay look mom of course he knows it's and i would like to hear max say it
00:27:0612 pumpkin pies i hear this right they're the best kind well of course it's it's it's pumpkin pie
00:27:14see are you happy now that's good but something still falls off mom don't make it weird okay we had
00:27:22a whirlwind romance and we eloped before we got to know everything about each other but our marriage
00:27:28is real i guess your mom's just watching too many of those real short shows uh now those are quality
00:27:37okay okay well then answer this where's your wedding ring eva where's your wedding ring eva
00:27:48i knew it was a good idea to pick this up well um it's silly face dropped it outside on
00:27:56the sidewalk
00:27:57luckily i was there to pick it up for silly face i am not paying extra for this consider it
00:28:05a christmas
00:28:06it's lousers it's nice you can afford this on a waste manager's salary well believe it or not
00:28:13miss smith there is a lot of garbage out there and i'm not just talking about william
00:28:22so come on guys let's see
00:28:36and this is where y'all will be staying i have another room set up for piper
00:28:42nice and festive for you no complications sorry honey uh mom you know what i should stay with piper
00:28:50tonight oh honey newlyweds shouldn't sleep apart oh i just remembered the city's turning the water
00:28:58off at 10 something about water conservation that means you have 15 minutes to shower 15 minutes
00:29:05honey it's no big deal just shower together shower together
00:29:13just shower together okay you guys have a good night okay
00:29:21you heard
00:29:47i can't take a shower with my clothes on come on we're wasting time you have 15 minutes
00:29:51nice try i am not showering with you all right sit yourself all room for me in there not if
00:29:58i meet you there first
00:30:15come on max get out of the way we agreed nothing physical you're the one with the dirty thoughts
00:30:22nice wifey relax relax i won't touch you unless you say you want me to
00:30:29but that'll cost extra
00:30:40in your dreams
00:30:43free to join me
00:31:03you know if you keep staring at my ass you're not gonna have any shower water left you wish
00:31:08why don't you give in pray you'll fall for me
00:31:13it's you who has to worry about resisting me oh yeah
00:31:38i'll say what happened to all that cool guy confidence still think you can resist
00:31:45you
00:31:45baby i don't think i want you
00:31:57or maybe we should god he's such a good kisser why does this feel so familiar
00:32:11oh
00:32:21max we cannot do this
00:32:24what i didn't mean to cross any it's not you max it's us it's this this is all an act
00:32:30let's not make it
00:32:31more complicated than it is you're right i'm sorry i just need to be sorry you just
00:32:47that birthmark
00:32:52what is that
00:32:55it's him the man from new year's is he piper's father
00:33:03why are you acting oh my god max is piper's father are you okay yeah i just um i just
00:33:15got light
00:33:15it i think i think i just need a few more minutes alone of course
00:33:24we have a daughter together oh my god what do i do
00:33:34i'm gonna sleep on the floor you can take the bed thanks
00:33:42hey are you sure you're okay look fake marriage aside i'm your husband for the next few days so if
00:33:49there's something you need i can help i want to help he's piper's father he has a right to know
00:33:57um max how would you feel if you found out you had a kid
00:34:06a child no no no that's that's impossible i'm very careful mostly
00:34:16i just mean i'm not the type of guy to sleep around family to me is a big commitment and
00:34:21i don't
00:34:22want any loose ends you know right he wouldn't want a kid tying him down i shouldn't tell him about
00:34:30piper why do you ask no reason just just curious no i feel like you're going somewhere with this what
00:34:42no well then can i ask you a question shoot
00:34:51where did you get these and how did you know my exact size i did not get those i don't
00:34:58know where
00:34:58those came from are you sure you're just not trying to break the contract
00:35:19you know the truth is is that i
00:35:25go go go go just a second come in hey helen
00:35:43oh sorry for interrupting but uh piper is asking for a bedtime story before i tuck her in
00:35:49think you could take this one dad we're kind of in the middle of something i can see that
00:35:54well why don't i read it to her i mean if you don't if you don't mind
00:35:59well atta boy you know what just put a shirt on i'm gonna go get her piper here comes grandpa
00:36:06up he sprang to his sleigh to his team gave a whistle and away they all flew like the down
00:36:14of a
00:36:15thistle but i heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight merry christmas to all and to all a
00:36:24good night
00:36:27if piper knew he was her real dad she'd be over the moon good night piper
00:36:36is her dad still around yeah but he doesn't know it because you're her dad uh no
00:36:43that man has no idea what a treasure he's missing out on
00:36:51do you really think so from the bottom of my heart maybe i should tell him he deserves to know
00:37:05max
00:37:10you're piper's father
00:37:18i'll tell you when the time's right
00:37:44where's piper she must have snuck off while we were asleep
00:38:04god he's such a good kisser
00:38:15just gonna kiss and run not on my watch
00:38:22yeah this i remember this
00:38:36good morning you two love bugs how was your stay at chateau smith
00:38:41good morning miss smith it was uh it was great wonderful well it's about to get even better
00:38:49oh no what is that sardines and saltines it's a smith family classic it was my gram gram's favorite
00:38:57during wartime don't be shy go ahead grab a handful max you don't have to no no it's okay
00:39:04it's a smith family staple
00:39:07it's a smith family staple
00:39:37it's a smith family staple
00:39:37could i um could i have some water please that means there's no escaping aunt miranda and her brood
00:39:42this year
00:39:43what's the deal with them every year aunt miranda bullies piper and i says piper's a fatherless brat and i'm
00:39:52hey don't worry i'll protect you and piper
00:39:58better have sam on standby tonight just in case well looks like it's time to get dressed up then
00:40:15wait that earring wait that earring you like it i was so bummed when i lost the matching one
00:40:24seven years ago did you lose it seven years ago i don't really remember the details but
00:40:30luckily i was able to find a new pair right that's just a common earring anyone can have it
00:40:37maybe i'm reading too much into it she can't be the woman from seven years ago
00:40:44so ava and piper still aren't here but derrick said that ava got married
00:40:50what kind of man could she possibly have landed an aging single mom slim pickings i heard he's in
00:41:00waste management that explains it she's probably too embarrassed to show up oh please miranda look
00:41:07ava is your niece oh come on grandpa everyone knows eva had a kid with a random one-night stand
00:41:14her track record speaks for itself exactly not like my sierra married to a legal advisor for harrison
00:41:21group oh they're here merry christmas everybody
00:41:32merry christmas everybody merry christmas
00:41:36you must be grandpa harold i am i'm eva's husband max pleasure to meet you welcome
00:41:42you're eva's husband but you're gorgeous
00:41:49but does he have to miss you look at you two you look like you just stepped out of a
00:41:54movie
00:41:54merry christmas grandpa this is for max and i oh my goodness thank you eva let me grab that for
00:42:02you
00:42:03daddy oops oh my bad oh a homemade gift how thrifty not all gifts are about the price tag
00:42:12mommy's right you mean all a hack you little you will not lay a hand on my daughter or you
00:42:21will lose
00:42:21yours oh you think you broke my wrist look what you just did to my mother my husband is harrison
00:42:29group's top legal advisor he could ruin your life
00:42:44what are you are you okay i'm fine i'm just wet huh yeah it's okay it's okay
00:42:52what are you what are you don't you dare disrespect my husband did you just slap me next time it'll
00:43:00be a
00:43:01closed fist you're a fucking psycho you know what sierra i can take your little insults but leave my
00:43:06family out of this her family she needs me
00:43:17you okay honey do i look okay to you dumbass do something you don't know who you're messing with
00:43:23i've got the full weight of the harrison group behind me oh wow i'm sure the ceo would love to
00:43:29hear that
00:43:29you're using his company's name to bully people like you'd have any idea how a ceo thinks let's call
00:43:36him i'm sure he'd be more than happy to be on my side please who do you think you are
00:43:41enough
00:43:45there will be no arguing during christmas fine dad let it go nathan they're just jealous
00:43:54for grandpa's sake i'll let you off easy i think you owe nathan a thank you i think you owe
00:44:02me a thank
00:44:02you for slapping some sense into you do you want me to get the other cheek all right that's enough
00:44:07everyone come inside and sit down
00:44:23i don't know if you want to get the other cheek all right
00:44:30is this a joke can you please pass me some food hold it who said you could eat anything else
00:44:37my husband and i paid for this feast
00:44:43my husband and i paid for this feast king crab fresh from alaska and grass-fed wagyu
00:44:51three times the price fifty times the flavor and you don't get a single bite
00:44:58it's just petty maybe so but gourmet food isn't meant for bottom feeders fine then we won't stay and eat
00:45:07with you come on let's go no no don't you dare leave our family dinner grandpa i'm sorry but they're
00:45:15treating us like i know dear i just want to have our family together fine we'll let the strays sit
00:45:22and eat with us you're a stray than a bitch what was that
00:45:29i just want to have our family together fine we'll stay can i have a little nibble it's okay sweetie
00:45:38we'll get something right after like drive-through i hope you enjoy food poisoning that will be a
00:45:45particularly memorable christmas present no straight you hit my child you're crazy well if you teach
00:45:58her some manners maybe i wouldn't have to don't worry baby i'll handle it don't worry baby i'll handle it
00:46:20it's okay sweetheart give me two minutes and one phone call as if you have a chef on speed dial
00:46:28actually i do he's such a liar this ought to be hilarious oh it will be
00:46:37it's okay sam yeah send the troops and bring that king crab from antarctica i'm already on my way
00:46:48bring that king crab from antarctica i'm already on my way
00:46:53you hear this guy he wants the best king crab in the world from antarctica now i get why you
00:47:01married
00:47:01him eva his silly delusions are just adorable thanks what are you doing don't worry about it sweetheart
00:47:08santa's already on his way actually five four three two
00:47:16a helicopter
00:47:27there's no way
00:47:34how did you pull this off sam is like family i thought i'd introduce you to thanks boss boss
00:47:41eva's always been genuine with me maybe it's time she knew who i really am
00:47:45eva i think it's time you actually know the truth i'm maximus harrison you're the ceo of harrison group
00:48:01you can stop kidding around if you were the ceo why would you be here pretending to be my husband
00:48:08no i actually am the ceo come on you can stop the charade okay this is just another
00:48:12favor from that bigwig friend isn't it eva i'm not pretending mr harrison the antarctic king crab as you
00:48:25are you i said you don't want to be requested
00:48:30how is this possible this loser brings an arctic king crab and has his own personal chef who are
00:48:40Who are you?
00:48:41I told you.
00:48:42I'm Eva's husband.
00:48:44That chef called him Mr. Harrison.
00:48:46Wait.
00:48:47No.
00:48:48Hold on.
00:48:49You're the actual CEO of the Harrison Group?
00:48:54You're worth more than some whole countries.
00:48:57Hm.
00:48:57Some of the small ones.
00:48:59I mean, you know that.
00:49:01You work for me.
00:49:03Oh, God.
00:49:03I insulted my own boss.
00:49:06I'm finished.
00:49:16Didn't think Max would commit this hard.
00:49:18Pretending to be CEO is a hell of a move.
00:49:20Worth every penny I'm paying him.
00:49:22For tonight, your fee stands.
00:49:25And with that, your career.
00:49:27You're fired.
00:49:29Fired?
00:49:30Sam?
00:49:34Fired?
00:49:35God.
00:49:36I can't be fired.
00:49:38What?
00:49:39Oh, my God.
00:49:40Mr. Harrison, please.
00:49:41You can have as much crab as you want.
00:49:43Please, Mr. Harrison, I'll do anything.
00:49:46Guys, take out the trash.
00:49:54And you.
00:49:55Oh, me?
00:49:57Mr. Harrison, come on.
00:49:59That was a Christmas joke.
00:50:00A family tradition.
00:50:02Yeah, well, there's a new family tradition.
00:50:05Sam?
00:50:09Will you do me the honors?
00:50:12Gladly.
00:50:16Merry Christmas, Evelyn.
00:50:21Father, do something.
00:50:23Well, you kind of deserve that.
00:50:25I'm leaving.
00:50:28Pumpkin's my favorite.
00:50:35Come on, sweetie.
00:50:36Daddy, have this crab line just for you.
00:50:39Eat as much as you want.
00:50:40Thanks, Daddy.
00:50:44I am so sorry I ruined your Christmas.
00:50:46I just couldn't take them treating you like that.
00:50:49Honestly?
00:50:50This is the best Christmas I've ever had.
00:50:53Well, if you want, we can have many more.
00:50:54Just like this.
00:50:56Does he really mean that?
00:50:58Or is he just playing you?
00:50:59Taking the part.
00:51:00I can't tell.
00:51:01And that terrifies me.
00:51:07Merry Christmas, Mrs. Harrison.
00:51:09I brought you a gift.
00:51:10Here's the paternity test between the boss and that little girl.
00:51:18Oh, this is wonderful.
00:51:21Sam, I have a granddaughter.
00:51:24Tell me everything.
00:51:25Miss Eva Smith, single mother, small town gal.
00:51:29Didn't finish high school.
00:51:30Currently works in retail.
00:51:31Oh, Maximus, I thought I raised you better.
00:51:35A high school dropout?
00:51:37In the Harrison family?
00:51:40Not a chance.
00:51:44She is clearly unfit to raise my granddaughter.
00:51:48Maximus seems to like her.
00:51:49Silence.
00:51:50Get me the address where she works.
00:51:52It's Happy Heels on Broadway.
00:51:54That's nice.
00:51:55We own that one.
00:51:57Good work.
00:51:58But take off that stupid hat.
00:52:10Thanks.
00:52:11So your dad insisted that I try this wine that he's been saving for 20 years.
00:52:17Sounds like he's happy with his new son-in-law.
00:52:19And how about you?
00:52:24Me?
00:52:25Yeah.
00:52:27Are you happy with your new husband?
00:52:32Eva.
00:52:43That birthmark.
00:52:45Family to me is a big commitment.
00:52:47And I don't want any loose ends.
00:52:50You know?
00:52:51Maximus, there's so much we don't know.
00:52:53So much we're not telling each other.
00:52:57No feelings, no complications.
00:52:59That's what we agreed upon.
00:53:00Hey, I didn't sign a contract.
00:53:03Max.
00:53:04Yeah, I guess you're right.
00:53:07It's cold.
00:53:09Maybe I'll go grab some more firewood.
00:53:12Max.
00:53:14I need to tell you something.
00:53:18Something important.
00:53:20What's gotten into her?
00:53:22Is she hiding something?
00:53:23Is this the part where you tell me there's no Santa?
00:53:27I haven't been completely honest with you.
00:53:32Piper is...
00:53:36Piper is...
00:53:37Mommy, Daddy, my hand hurts.
00:53:40Sweetie.
00:53:40Oh my gosh.
00:53:41It's all swollen.
00:53:42Must have been when that witch smacked her with the fork earlier.
00:53:45Listen, you stay here with Daddy.
00:53:46Mommy's gonna go get a first aid kit, okay?
00:53:50Come on, Piper.
00:53:54Okay, let me see.
00:53:58I promise, I won't let anyone hurt you or Mommy again.
00:54:03But that's not true.
00:54:04You're leaving after Christmas, aren't you?
00:54:08Uh...
00:54:09Daddy!
00:54:10No!
00:54:12Well...
00:54:17Don't you dare disrespect my husband!
00:54:23Well, maybe I don't have to leave.
00:54:26Well, maybe I don't have to leave.
00:54:28Really?
00:54:29Please stay, Daddy.
00:54:34You think it was Scar?
00:54:37Hmm.
00:54:40I wouldn't worry about it.
00:54:41Scars make you look like a badass.
00:54:43I have one, too.
00:54:45Dad.
00:54:47I got that when I was about your age.
00:54:49Some punk came at me with a switchblade.
00:54:51Really?
00:54:52No way.
00:54:54No.
00:54:54It was actually a cactus.
00:54:56But it's still cool.
00:54:59I have something like that on the back of my neck.
00:55:05Piper, how long have you had that?
00:55:07My mom said I had that when I was born.
00:55:14And how old are you?
00:55:16Six.
00:55:17Six?
00:55:18That one night stand was about seven years ago.
00:55:21Okay, I found the first aid kit.
00:55:23Ivor, are you sure we haven't met before?
00:55:28What do I even say?
00:55:29And how do I explain it to Piper?
00:55:32Sorry, honey.
00:55:33This man's your dad, and he didn't know you existed until now.
00:55:37Um...
00:55:37Yeah.
00:55:40Can I see your hand, sweetie?
00:55:43Eva.
00:55:47Okay, look.
00:55:51Piper is...
00:55:57Go on.
00:56:04Must be an emergency.
00:56:06Excuse me.
00:56:08I'm sorry.
00:56:09Take this.
00:56:16Mommy, are you okay?
00:56:18Yeah.
00:56:20Mommy's just realizing she's a coward.
00:56:23I don't even have the guts to tell the truth.
00:56:28Why haven't you picked up my calls?
00:56:30I'm telling you, Max, that woman is manipulating you.
00:56:34She's a high school dropout.
00:56:36Doesn't even have a decent job.
00:56:38And she's unfit to raise my granddaughter.
00:56:41I'm Eva's husband.
00:56:42Max.
00:56:43That man has no idea what a treasure he's missing out on.
00:56:51I'm sorry, Max.
00:56:52I'm sorry, Max.
00:56:53You can't know Piper's your daughter.
00:56:54Your mother would take her away.
00:56:56After Christmas, it's over.
00:57:00I'm sorry.
00:57:02Maximus?
00:57:02Are you even listening to me?
00:57:05No, Mom, Mom.
00:57:06Listen, I'm sorry.
00:57:07Okay?
00:57:07Eva's my wife.
00:57:08And I've made up my mind.
00:57:09I'm not leaving her.
00:57:12Eva?
00:57:17Yeah.
00:57:24Oh, that's fine.
00:57:24Oh, thanks, mom.
00:57:25This is for me, Grandma.
00:57:31Oh, wow.
00:57:33That's so cool.
00:57:34What did you make?
00:57:35Derek, this is from Eva and I.
00:57:38Oh, thank you so much.
00:57:41Thanks, guys.
00:57:42I'm glad you're here.
00:57:45Oh!
00:57:47Damn, these are nice.
00:57:49Grandpa, language, little ears.
00:57:57Piper, do you want to go see your present?
00:57:59It's in the other room by the train set.
00:58:01Here, I'll go with you.
00:58:02Remember the song that we sang?
00:58:03Ready, ready?
00:58:04Grandma got run over by a reindeer.
00:58:06What do we got, guys?
00:58:07Walking home from our house.
00:58:09Christmas Eve.
00:58:13You never told me.
00:58:17Have we met before?
00:58:23Have we met before?
00:58:26She's unfit to raise my granddaughter.
00:58:31I don't know what you're getting at.
00:58:34Eva, I have the same birthmark.
00:58:37As Piper.
00:58:45I don't know what you're talking about.
00:58:46Lots of people have birthmarks.
00:58:48They're very common.
00:58:49I feel so awful, but I can't lose my child.
00:58:52No matter how I feel about him.
00:58:56Maybe.
00:58:59Are you okay?
00:59:02Are the clogs a bad idea?
00:59:05No.
00:59:07I'm fine.
00:59:10Oh, I almost forgot.
00:59:14I got you this.
00:59:16You got me a gift, too?
00:59:17Tis the season.
00:59:19Open it.
00:59:33Gloves.
00:59:34Gloves.
00:59:35Did you make these?
00:59:37Yeah.
00:59:38I know this is a fake marriage, but that's Christmas.
00:59:42You've already done so much for me.
00:59:44I just want to do a little something for you.
00:59:48How do they feel?
00:59:50Warm, right?
00:59:51Yeah.
00:59:53Warm.
00:59:55Soft.
00:59:58Perfect.
01:00:02Thank you, Eva.
01:00:04I've never gotten anything this meaningful before.
01:00:08Really?
01:00:10Yeah, my mom.
01:00:11She partied all the time.
01:00:13And I got gifts.
01:00:15Plenty of them, but...
01:00:16I don't think she ever bought one herself.
01:00:20Nothing personal.
01:00:22Well, you deserve it.
01:00:25You're a good guy.
01:00:27And someday you'll find someone special to spend all your Christmases with.
01:00:34What if that day's today?
01:00:39What if I already found someone special?
01:00:43Right here.
01:01:09Max, we can't...
01:01:12If you want me to stop, you better tell me right now.
01:01:20Come on.
01:01:21I don't want you to stop.
01:01:28No matter how many years pass, I still can't resist him.
01:01:41No matter how many years pass, I still can't resist him.
01:01:47No matter how many years pass, I still can't resist him.
01:01:55No matter how many years pass, I still can't resist him.
01:01:56God, you are driving me fucking insane.
01:02:02Piper!
01:02:11Piper?
01:02:14She can't see me.
01:02:33Eva?
01:02:37Grandma, I'm up here!
01:02:51That was way too close.
01:02:53Yeah.
01:02:54We would have gotten on the naughty list.
01:03:00Sometimes it's fun to be naughty.
01:03:04Can I still unwrap my present?
01:03:09And you still haven't given me mine.
01:03:15Let me give it to you.
01:03:54Why are you calling me this morning?
01:04:00Hello?
01:04:01Hello, Eva Smith.
01:04:03I'm Max's mother.
01:04:04Name your price.
01:04:05What will it take for you to leave my son alone?
01:04:09What?
01:04:10We both know my son is way out of your league.
01:04:13Take the money, leave my granddaughter with us, and go.
01:04:17My son will find a better wife and a better mother for his child.
01:04:21Piper is my daughter, and no amount of money you offer could ever make me give her up.
01:04:25So you keep your money, and I'll leave on my own, but I am not handing Piper over to you.
01:04:33There's my beautiful wife.
01:04:39You okay?
01:04:43Look, we made it through Christmas.
01:04:47So I think it's best we go our separate ways.
01:04:51What are you talking about?
01:04:53It's over.
01:04:54It's not that hard to understand.
01:04:59Eva, wait!
01:05:03So last night meant nothing to you?
01:05:10Well, Max, it's not real.
01:05:12None of it was real.
01:05:14So, this is just a goodbye?
01:05:18Didn't realize I was so disposable for you.
01:05:21Look.
01:05:23Last night,
01:05:26I let my card down.
01:05:27But I'm a mother, and my choices affect Piper.
01:05:30And being with you can mess up everything between us.
01:05:33Just tell me what you need.
01:05:35I'll do whatever it takes to be a good husband,
01:05:38a good father.
01:05:40Just say the word.
01:05:46You don't get it.
01:05:49You don't get it.
01:05:56I think it's time Piper and I go back to New York.
01:06:04I won't give up on us.
01:06:20Are we here?
01:06:22Yes.
01:06:24As much as I don't want us to be,
01:06:26we're back.
01:06:30Piper, sweetie, wake up.
01:06:32We're home.
01:06:37How can she just walk away?
01:06:38Hey.
01:06:46Don't forget you have to meet my mom.
01:06:48It's part of the agreement, too.
01:06:50Can I just pay you a little extra and skip it?
01:06:53You promised.
01:06:55Eva, I haven't asked you for much.
01:06:57Can you do this for me, please?
01:07:01All right, fine.
01:07:02When?
01:07:04Two days.
01:07:06I'll come pick you up.
01:07:07No need.
01:07:08Just send me the address, Mommy, either.
01:07:15I know you and Mommy thought,
01:07:18but she still really likes you.
01:07:21So don't give up, okay, Daddy?
01:07:23Thank you, sweetie.
01:07:25If there's one thing you should know about your Daddy,
01:07:27I always fight for the ones I love.
01:07:35I tell you to speak to me,
01:07:44and I know you're going to be a short film.
01:07:45And you're going to be a short film.
01:07:45I've seen a short film, man.
01:07:46You have to be a short film.
01:07:46I'm just a short film.
01:07:47You're going to be a short film, man.
01:07:49Eva's meeting my mother today.
01:07:51Time to finally tell her the truth.
01:07:54Boss?
01:07:55Boss?
01:07:59lady and gentlemen i am so sorry i need to go win back my family family boss you okay never
01:08:08better
01:08:10go get her max
01:08:15get your best smile ah there he is maximus darling i have some prospects for you nice high society
01:08:25girls from the city oh i told you i already found the woman i love
01:08:41maximus stop this that evil woman is scamming you son tell me what kind of woman you want and i'll
01:08:49find you another you are heir to the harrison dynasty no i'm not oh i work in waste management
01:08:59and i'm a secret crime boss i'm eva's husband and i'm a father what
01:09:20oh that's her the woman who got my son head over heels hi welcome in can i help you find
01:09:29something
01:09:30i want to try those
01:09:34awesome i'll get them for you right away are you sure you wouldn't want something more sensible
01:09:43no no no i know what i want size seven oh baby can't even walk but she wants three thousand
01:09:52dollar
01:09:52heels come on she wants the white shoes
01:10:00ignore her she's just grumpy over the holidays um here let me help you one
01:10:09she seems kind
01:10:16i shouldn't be that impressed she's just doing her job how do they feel well i love the style
01:10:25but it's too small i think i need a size up maybe my feet are still growing
01:10:33right away i'll be right back she's not only kind she's patient was i wrong about her
01:10:55are you gluing the heel back on
01:10:58well who gives a shit she can't walk
01:11:05that's just pure evil
01:11:09oh come on saint eva she's in a wheelchair who cares it's the last pair i get paid commission
01:11:23i'm not doing that manessa see this is your whole problem this is why you'll always be broke
01:11:35i don't care if she can walk or not i'm not selling her joke she has to deal with people
01:11:42like this
01:11:43people who insult her all day i'm your manager
01:11:51sell the old bitty the shoes or you're fired
01:12:01did i stutter
01:12:06you don't have to fire me
01:12:10i quit
01:12:16i don't work here anymore
01:12:19listen don't buy the shoes they're broken spend your heart and money elsewhere okay
01:12:24you're a good person after all
01:12:28looks like i misjudged you
01:12:31i'm sorry
01:12:33why are you still here eva get out
01:12:42you're not disabled selling a broken heel to someone you thought was handicapped
01:12:48absolutely shameful who are you i am the chairwoman
01:12:54of the harrison group and the owner of this store
01:12:58you're eleanor harrison mother of the ceo i am and you my dear are fired
01:13:07what did i do
01:13:11you are a good person from now on this store is yours to run
01:13:20are you serious
01:13:24that's right
01:13:26don't be nervous child
01:13:28you are professional responsible far better than that two-bit manager
01:13:36you
01:13:37out
01:13:39i'll leave
01:13:43i'm leaving
01:13:46i i i feel like i'm dreaming
01:13:50no don't worry you're getting a promotion
01:13:54you deserve it my dear
01:13:57thank you
01:13:59first assignment i want that row and that row and the entire display case
01:14:07pack it all up and bring it to my house
01:14:10okay yeah
01:14:13once we're home i'll tell her i'm her mother-in-law
01:14:17i can't wait to finally meet my granddaughter
01:14:26she's the mother of ceo of course she lives like this
01:14:40mrs harrison i'm here with your delivery
01:14:46max
01:14:47eva
01:14:49what are you doing here
01:14:51i uh
01:14:52there you are eva
01:14:55wonderful we can finally meet each other properly
01:14:58my new daughter-in-law
01:15:01what are you
01:15:05that means you really are the ceo of harrison group
01:15:10well i tried to tell you but
01:15:12stop
01:15:14and you
01:15:14you lied to me at the store
01:15:18you were both just testing me
01:15:20is this some sick game rich people play
01:15:22i'm sorry eva i thought you might be using my son just after his money but i was wrong
01:15:28eva please
01:15:29i don't deserve to be treated like this
01:15:31not every working class girl is after your money
01:15:35how could you think that of me
01:15:37it's not like that dear
01:15:39eva what are you talking about
01:15:42mom what did you do
01:15:43i i was just trying to get the two of you back together
01:15:46we're not together
01:15:48and i can't love something that was never real
01:15:55i made a horrible mistake
01:15:58what are you waiting for son go after her
01:16:04eva
01:16:05let me go
01:16:06i swear it's not what you think
01:16:07but we come from two completely different worlds stop pretending like you care
01:16:11i'm not pretending okay i can't fake what we have
01:16:14and everything i've done for you and piper this is real
01:16:22touch my wife again and i will snap every finger that you've got
01:16:26max you came
01:16:27god you weren't driving me
01:16:29fucking insane
01:16:32i'll do whatever it takes to be a good husband
01:16:35a good father just say the word
01:16:39see
01:16:42stop fighting
01:16:46we belong together
01:16:48you're wrong
01:16:50wrong about what
01:16:52that you care
01:16:54or we belong together
01:16:55look i already told you
01:16:56we're from two completely different worlds
01:16:59now i held up my end of the deal and i met your mother like we discussed
01:17:03i want a fake divorce from my fake cousin
01:17:08eva
01:17:12eva
01:17:14i'm sorry maximus walking away is the only choice i have
01:17:25ow
01:17:26are you okay mommy
01:17:28yeah sweetie i'm fine
01:17:30come here
01:17:39no you're not fine you're sad
01:17:44i'm okay sweetie
01:17:47i miss daddy too
01:17:52i want my ex-sweetie my real daddy
01:17:57don't you want to be with him
01:18:00love bug
01:18:02you're right
01:18:03what am i doing running like a coward
01:18:07i've always taught you to be brave
01:18:10now it's time for mommy to be brave too
01:18:14i believe in you what are you gonna do mommy
01:18:18i know exactly what to say to him
01:18:49maximus deserves to know
01:18:49i'm gonna do mommy to play with eva to play my wife
01:18:52and piper she was
01:18:54an added bonus
01:18:56what are you talking about
01:18:57i already ran a dna test
01:19:00hyper is your daughter
01:19:02hyper is your daughter
01:19:03see for yourself
01:19:10i was right
01:19:13seven years ago
01:19:14new years that woman was eva
01:19:26eva
01:19:29eva
01:19:30daddy
01:19:32daddy
01:19:34piper
01:19:36i missed you so much sweetheart
01:19:45you came back
01:19:48i uh
01:19:51don't forget to be brave mommy
01:19:59i uh
01:20:01i was scared
01:20:03but i don't want to be scared anymore
01:20:05because what we have is real and it's worth fighting for
01:20:10sweetheart i have something to tell you
01:20:13i have something to tell you too
01:20:17piper is your daughter
01:20:19you knew
01:20:21my sweet granddaughter
01:20:22i just found out for sure a few minutes ago but you've known this whole time
01:20:31i was scared okay i didn't know if you were going to take her from me i didn't know how
01:20:36you were feeling
01:20:38how could you not know how i felt
01:20:51i love you eva
01:20:55i love you too
01:20:57i promise for the rest of my life i'm going to make it up to you
01:21:02as long as we're together it doesn't matter where we are
01:21:15will you marry me eva
01:21:18for real this time
01:21:20yes yes of course i'll marry you
01:21:35looks like you're stuck with me the next christmas and the christmas after that and forever
01:21:42i wouldn't have it any other way
01:21:49who's that
01:21:52eva
01:21:54take me back
01:21:57i'm sorry i struck your tire
01:22:03looks like i have to take out the trash
01:22:05again
01:22:09no not funny
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