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00:09ترجمة نانسي قنقر
00:36So, Mrs. Kreischer, is it your assertion that you baked these cookies yourself using vegetable oil?
00:42Yes. At least that's what the label said.
00:45But you're questioning the validity of that.
00:47Well, it's the only plausible explanation for how henna oil got into my cookies.
00:52And do you have any way of proving that this mislabeling occurred?
00:56Do you have any way of proving that it didn't?
01:03All right, team. Let's grab some lunch.
01:08Wow. You were something in there.
01:11Yeah? Okay, good. Happy to help anyway. I can't. I just want to make this right.
01:16Oh, I so appreciate that.
01:19Yeah.
01:19I mean, Walter did say it's a long shot, though.
01:21Seriously?
01:22Yeah. He's kind of worried it'll come across far-fetched.
01:26Huh.
01:27I know. That threw me, too.
01:28And he mentioned something about how the jury might find the whole thing complete bullshit.
01:33Does that make sense?
01:34I mean, yes and no.
01:37Yeah.
01:38Look, they say cases are won and lost in jury selection, so I think if we're smart about who we...
01:44Sure, sure.
01:44But I think the concern he had there was that no one in the jury pool would be stupid enough
01:48to buy any of this crap.
01:50I don't know. I'm not a liar.
01:53That's disappointing.
01:55Well, I guess we took it as far as we could.
01:58There is one last thing Walter said we could do, but I don't want you to feel uncomfortable.
02:02You know what? I will do whatever it takes to help you win this thing.
02:05Great. I'm so happy to hear you say that. I'll schedule the polygraph for tomorrow.
02:11Polygraph?
02:16Maybe I could try to beat it. I could take a couple of Xanax, get my blood pressure down.
02:21Jesus, what am I saying?
02:22Oh, you put up a good fight, hon. Sometimes it's best to know when to fold them.
02:27Yeah. That's he seeing her win.
02:29Yeah, it's tough to watch.
02:32So, the guy's never figured out who leaked the surgery?
02:35Landon didn't... He never had a new phone?
02:38He didn't even try to log in from a different device? Nothing?
02:41No, they're not tech savvy, I guess.
02:43Doesn't Randy own a software company?
02:45Oh, I think it went under. Probably because he fucking sucked at it.
02:49Kirsten?
02:49What are you, writing a fucking book? I haven't heard from her.
02:52Well, it just goes to show you, blackmail doesn't work, you know?
02:56As long as you're willing to stand strong, some semblance of a spine.
03:25I did not expect this to happen at all.
03:27I have a lot of people to thank, so let's get through it.
03:29First, let me say thank you to the student body, who clearly have excellent taste.
03:34Now, to the people who got...
03:37Hi.
03:40What do you think? My sparkles material?
03:44They should be so lucky.
03:47I have to admit, though, it does feel really weird to, like, fit in after being an outcast for so
03:53long.
03:55Yeah. Exciting times.
03:58But in the off chance that tonight your name isn't the one that's announced as a winner,
04:03I just want you to know, I'm proud of you.
04:07Thanks.
04:08But winning would be cool.
04:09Yeah.
04:10You know, a lot of people say runner-up is sometimes as good, if not better, than winning.
04:15Really? People say that?
04:16Of course winning's important, but there's so much to learn when you lose.
04:19Yeah, that's true.
04:20But I still rather win, so...
04:22You know who won?
04:23John F. Kennedy.
04:24They shot him.
04:25You know what they say.
04:27Heavy is the crown.
04:28I've never heard that, I don't think.
04:30Either way, it's kind of nice to know your name was in the conversation, right?
04:33I don't really give a fuck about the conversation.
04:35Yeah, well, it's out of our hands.
04:37Well, thank you, Dad.
04:38It's out of our hands.
04:39Yeah.
04:39All right.
04:40Uh, Dad?
04:41Yeah?
04:42One more thing.
04:43I just want to say thank you.
04:45Hmm?
04:45For everything.
04:47Um, I have to admit, I doubted you, like, every step of the way, but you really came through.
04:54So, thank you.
04:56Yeah, you're welcome.
04:59Love you.
05:00Yeah, I love you, too.
05:08Go straight down the hall.
05:10Have a great night.
05:11Oh, the Chrysers!
05:12Hey!
05:13Well, don't you look nice.
05:15Thank you, Ms. Rossmeyer.
05:16It was quite the process that took all hands on deck.
05:18Okay.
05:19Hey, go somewhere.
05:20Just go.
05:21Georgia, you can check in down the hall.
05:22Perfect.
05:23Thank you.
05:23We are so proud of you.
05:25You got this.
05:26Thank you, guys.
05:27Go get them.
05:30You're not nervous, are you?
05:32No.
05:34I imagine you've played a room this size before?
05:36Yeah, I have.
05:38Usually they're a little more wasted, but, you know.
05:41Right.
05:42And you had your stick to fall back on.
05:45and you had your stick to fall back on the hall.
05:47Yeah.
05:48Yeah.
05:49All right, I gotta go.
05:49I love you.
05:50Break the leg.
05:51I love you.
05:51All right.
05:52Awesome.
05:53You can.
05:55Hey, can I ask you about the funding for the new gym coming?
05:59Oh, my God.
06:00What a huge win.
06:01And it wouldn't have been possible without your husband.
06:04His vote put it over the top.
06:06His vote?
06:07Yeah.
06:07He has been such a great addition to the Barclitch community.
06:11I gotta say, he's really surprised me.
06:16Yeah, you and me both.
06:20Mrs. Kreischer,
06:23you have a minute?
06:33You have an opening joke?
06:36Besides yourself?
06:41Yeah, Kirsten.
06:42As a matter of fact, I do.
06:44Great.
06:46Well, I just wanted to check in.
06:48Make sure you're feeling okay with the new arrangement.
06:50I'm really happy with it.
06:52It feels like a nice tweak on what we originally set up, right?
06:56Yeah.
06:57It's so much better.
06:58And my dad just had way more leverage.
07:01You don't do what he wants.
07:03Your whole world crumbles.
07:06It's just clean.
07:07You know,
07:08you don't have to do this.
07:11Is this really the way you want to win?
07:14Where does this need for popularity come from, Kirsten?
07:18Are you trying to fill some sort of a void?
07:22Hey, kiddo.
07:23I'm here.
07:25And I'm listening.
07:28Yeah, that bullshit doesn't work on me.
07:30Okay, got it.
07:31Okay.
07:32Well, I'll let you do your thing.
07:34I imagine you have some.
07:36button reinforcement to tend to.
07:50I'm a little concerned about Bert.
07:53Have you noticed any unusual behavior?
07:56Yeah.
07:57You could say that.
07:59Well, I feel I'm partially at fault.
08:01Maybe we overcorrected a bit.
08:04You think?
08:05Worried he's running with the wrong crowd, and he's in too deep.
08:10Acceptance is like a drug, Leanne.
08:12And they've got Bert hooked on it.
08:15Okay, now you're scaring me.
08:17Well, you might want to buckle up for the next part.
08:21Have you ever heard the name Gene Magnuson?
08:44It's not that big a deal.
08:45Oh, it's not that big a deal.
08:46The kids in a fucking wheelchair because of you.
08:48Hey, hey.
08:49Look at me.
08:49That wasn't me.
08:50That was Ezekiel.
08:51Hey, what the fuck is going on here?
08:53We have a leak.
08:54Yeah, we've discussed that, Glenn.
08:55No, no, no.
08:55It's a different kind of leak, Bert.
08:57Zachy's new sack ruptured,
08:58so now he's got spermatic fluid oozing out everywhere.
09:01All because this fucking cocksucker fucked up.
09:04Relax.
09:04You better pray to the fucking God.
09:06This doesn't ruin his answer tonight.
09:08I will fucking hate you, Leanne.
09:10God damn it.
09:11I will excuse you, Glenn.
09:13Fuck.
09:14Well, you heard him.
09:16This is on me now?
09:17On top of all the other stuff?
09:24So, this guy was, like, a friend of theirs?
09:27They were inseparable until they weren't.
09:32What happened?
09:34Gene got spooked, wanted out.
09:38The only problem was he knew too much.
09:44So they killed him?
09:45What?
09:46No.
09:46Oh.
09:48Well, the way that you said it totally made it seem like...
09:51They ruined him.
09:53Bound a pressure point.
09:56And squeezed.
09:57Till he couldn't take it anymore.
10:00His whole life imploded.
10:03He lost everything.
10:05His wife.
10:08Kids.
10:10That's awful.
10:12You're not suggesting this could happen to Bert, are you?
10:15Eh.
10:16I'm sure I'm just being paranoid.
10:19It's not like they have something they can use against him.
10:22Right.
10:23We're probably fine.
10:26I forgot we had this talk.
10:29Yeah, I forgot.
10:32Oh.
10:34Ladies and gentlemen, your headmaster, Miriam Rossmeyer.
10:45Good evening, and welcome to the 8th grade Mr. and Ms. Barclay's coronation.
10:53Our school's most prestigious honor.
10:56It represents the values we hold so dearly.
10:59Honesty.
11:01Integrity.
11:02Compassion.
11:03Past title holders include Academy Award winner Colin Firth, entrepreneur and influencer
11:09Emilia Gray Hamlin, and Dance Moms champion Jojo Siwa.
11:17Now, before I bring out our emcee for the evening, I'd like to thank all of our generous donors.
11:23The Davenports, $750,000.
11:29Hey.
11:29You good?
11:30Yeah.
11:31I'm fine.
11:32Why?
11:32I don't know.
11:33You don't seem like yourself.
11:37Is there anything that you want to tell me?
11:40No.
11:42Nothing I can think of.
11:43No, nothing?
11:44Not even that you lied about voting to defund the LD department?
11:48The entire reason that we came to this school?
11:49What the fuck?
11:50Bert?
11:50I didn't know.
11:52They tricked me.
11:53And hey, I'm going to fix it.
11:54We just got to stay in these guys' good graces.
11:56I'll keep my board seat, and it's all going to be fine.
11:58At what cost?
11:59Whatever the fuck it takes, Leanne.
12:00Okay?
12:00We're so close to sticking the landing.
12:02We can't throw it away now.
12:06They found out it was you who told Kirsten, didn't they?
12:10And now they're using it against you.
12:12But for what?
12:15No.
12:17Tell me that you're not actually thinking of...
12:19It's Ms. Barclidge, not a fucking Senate seat, okay?
12:22And trust me, George will get over it so much quicker than it'll take for us to start over.
12:26Remember, hey, we're doing this for our girls.
12:29Are you sure about that?
12:31This man would be receiving it.
12:32Without further ado, Bert Kreischer!
12:50Thank you, Miriam.
12:51That's my dad!
12:52Wow!
12:52Colin Firth and Jojo Siwa.
12:55Now that's a sex tape I'd pay for.
12:58No?
12:58Nothing?
13:00All right, we got a lot of kids in the room, so I figure I'd start off with a fun
13:04joke.
13:04What did Mr. T say after he pushed 50 cent in the pool?
13:09How fitting a pool?
13:12If you want to date Zach, you should date Zach.
13:15And he is physically able to receive said handjob.
13:18A lot of parents who have a no blanket policy.
13:20Not us.
13:21Not us.
13:21Not us.
13:22All right, let's announce Mr. Barclage, huh?
13:26Miriam, the envelope, please.
13:31Thank you.
13:33This year's Mr. Barclage crown goes to...
13:39Zach Hotchkiss.
13:41Yeah!
13:41Fuck yeah!
13:43Woo!
13:48Zach, wheel yourself up here, buddy.
13:59And now, for Ms. Barclage.
14:04Miriam, the envelope, please.
14:09Thank you very much, Miriam.
14:12Thank you.
14:33This is a big moment.
14:35Someone's life is about to change.
14:38The ultimate honor.
14:40Acceptance by your peers.
14:43It's what we all want.
14:44I know I did.
14:46And I got it.
14:48I went from being a pariah to on the board in just a matter of weeks.
14:54And all I had to do was change every single thing about me.
15:01And compromise every value I've ever had.
15:09I turned into someone I didn't even recognize
15:12just for a seat at the table.
15:16And tonight,
15:18I'm supposed to open this envelope
15:19and say someone's name,
15:21no matter what the card says.
15:23Because that's the deal I made with Landon Vanderthal.
15:27I got manipulated.
15:29Brilliant tactic, actually.
15:31He blackmailed me while he was getting his dick sucked to the strip club.
15:35He threw me off my game.
15:37No, don't, don't.
15:39Carl, Sanjay, need you in the auditorium ASAP.
15:41All because I was afraid to tell my daughter the truth.
15:44I was using my world-class pedophile powers
15:47to seduce her boyfriend.
15:50Sweetie, Zach was using you to get to me.
15:53I only have myself to blame.
15:56I cut off my own balls.
15:59But I realize now,
16:01you can't take your balls for granted.
16:03Can you, Zach?
16:05So tonight,
16:07I'm reclaiming mine.
16:12Listen up, fuckers.
16:14I'm done giving the fuck.
16:16And unlike a lot of the lips,
16:18tits, and asses in this room,
16:19I'm done being fake as fuck.
16:21Carl, do you copy?
16:23I'm done fucking wearing this shit.
16:25I've been tucking my shirt in for two months.
16:28It's so uncomfortable.
16:30What the fuck are you people doing?
16:32I'm done changing in my car.
16:34I'm done carrying a goddamn garment bag.
16:37I'm done showering at a country club with uncircumcised men.
16:41I'm done sauntering with uncircumcised men.
16:44I'm done with uncircumcised men.
16:46I'm done sitting back
16:48while a bunch of pussy pics from women in this room
16:50get passed around and analyzed.
16:53Ladies, if your gynecologist is Dr. Shestak,
16:56I get a new gynecologist.
16:59and I will not sit silently
17:02while votes are bought
17:03on the board
17:05by the parents with the deepest pockets.
17:07Guys, a new gymnasium,
17:09our kids are white.
17:10They're not going pro.
17:12We need to keep the LD department.
17:14And I know that
17:14because my vote was bought.
17:16And they said,
17:17ask no questions.
17:18Carl, Sandy,
17:19where the fuck are you guys?
17:20Well, I'm going to start asking
17:22some fucking questions.
17:23Like, what the fuck are we teaching our kids?
17:26that if you put on a uniform
17:27and you conform,
17:29lose your uniqueness,
17:30lose your originality,
17:32dull down your sparkle,
17:33that that's the Barclay's way
17:35for the simple price tag
17:36of $47,000
17:38and every ounce of your dignity
17:40will fuck that.
17:42So here's what I'm going to do.
17:43I'm going to open
17:44this fucking envelope
17:46and read whatever goddamn name
17:48is on this fucking card
17:49because I am my own man.
17:52I will not be bought.
17:53I'm a fucking lone wolf
17:55who sits on top
17:56of the mountain
17:56paws crossed
17:57howling and let the moon
17:58and I don't care
17:59who I piss off.
18:00Ladies and gentlemen,
18:01who's ready
18:01for Miss Barclay?
18:05Fuck yes!
18:09This year's
18:10Mrs. Fucking Barclay Jazz!
18:16Kirsten Vanderthal.
18:17Oh my God!
18:29Wow, wow!
18:30Thank you!
18:31Thank you so much!
18:32I was so not expecting this.
18:34I have so many people to thank.
18:36Um, congratulations.
18:38That's the man that I'm married.
18:41That wasn't funny, was it?
18:42Oh, not really.
18:43The big man's back, guys.
18:44I am back.
18:46I was so fucking lost.
18:47Yeah, you definitely were.
18:49Hey, I am so sorry.
18:51You must be disappointed.
18:53About me losing Miss Barclay
18:55or you setting me up with Zach
18:57because you knew
18:57I couldn't give him a handjob?
18:59Wait, when did you figure that out?
19:01You almost pulled it off.
19:03So fucking close.
19:04Hey, I'm sorry.
19:06I messed up.
19:08So big.
19:09It's when you walked on campus
19:10that first day
19:10and no one talked to you.
19:11It broke my heart
19:12and I just thought
19:13I wanted to make her popular
19:14and from that moment on
19:15everything's been spiraling
19:16out of control.
19:17I hope you ever forgive me.
19:19But I don't want it that way.
19:22Oh, fucking integrity on this kid.
19:24Whose child is this?
19:25I have no idea.
19:26Guys, I wasn't even
19:27going to give him a handjob.
19:29Wait, you're never
19:30going to give him a handjob?
19:31No, I don't even know
19:32what that is.
19:33Oh, fuck.
19:33I wish I knew that earlier.
19:34Yeah, me too.
19:35Oh.
19:36At least you know
19:37your dad's heart
19:38was in the right place
19:39even though his brain
19:41was nowhere to be found.
19:43Oh.
19:45I love you, too.
19:46Come on.
19:47Come on.
19:48And in the immortal words
19:50of former Miss Barklage,
19:52Julianne Margulies,
19:53you are loved,
19:55you are worth it,
19:56and I will always
19:58fight with you.
20:01Thank you.
20:06All right, guys, ready?
20:07Handjobs on three.
20:09One, two, three.
20:13Handjobs!
20:13Oh, shit.
20:16I thought we were friends.
20:17Oh, come on.
20:18No, you didn't.
20:20You know, this isn't over.
20:21Once I repair my marriage
20:23and my standing at the school
20:24and do whatever community service
20:26I might be facing,
20:27I will come for you.
20:29Nothing I haven't seen before.
20:31Well, I just need
20:32to use my voice
20:32to express how absolutely
20:34vile that was.
20:35No one gives a fuck
20:36about your stupid voice.
20:37Does that make sense?
20:39Hey, Leanne baked those cookies.
20:42I saw Leanne baked those cookies,
20:43and I'll testify in a court of law
20:45that Leanne baked those cookies.
20:47Me, too.
20:49Me, too.
20:52They're mimicking.
20:53Wait, what are we doing?
20:54We're perjuring ourselves.
20:55Don't worry about it.
20:56Hey, Georgia.
20:56Oh, this is awkward.
20:57Hey, Zach.
20:59I'm sorry,
20:59but I led you on.
21:02Yeah.
21:02I think you misread the situation.
21:05It was just being nice to you
21:06so I could hang out
21:07with your daughter.
21:09I actually really like her.
21:10You do?
21:10You do?
21:11Okay.
21:14Georgia,
21:15hit me up.
21:16I'll be out of this chair
21:17in a couple weeks,
21:18and I'll be good to go.
21:19Please remain calm.
21:24Well, well, well.
21:26Oh, here we go.
21:27It's getting worse.
21:28The leopard always shows his spots, huh?
21:32There will be consequences for this.
21:33I assume that.
21:34In the meantime,
21:36Carl and Sanjay
21:37will make sure you get to your car.
21:39Sanjay,
21:40you put those zip ties on me,
21:41and it'll be the last thing
21:42you do on this planet.
21:44Yep.
21:45All right.
21:46I'll see you guys later.
21:47I love you.
21:47We love you!
21:56Hey, Bert!
22:07Yeah, Bert!
22:08ترجمة ترجمة نانسي قنقر
22:22ترجمة نانسي قنقر
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