- 2 days ago
Bait S01E03-4 (2026) [Full Movie] [Watch Free Online]Full EP - Full
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:10I hear that. I really do. It's just really not a good day to me, because it's Eid, so I've
00:14got to stick with family.
00:14Okay. Well, you could have stuck with the family yesterday, but now you've got to do what the shiz long
00:18you created.
00:18Is it really that bad? A lot of people seem to like the whole action and routine.
00:22I reckon it will help them visualize me as Bond.
00:25Okay. Well, there is a lot of chatter. Some people think you're a tough guy, other people think you're insane.
00:28This could cost you the role.
00:30Oh, fuck.
00:34Saju, how many of you are doing this?
00:36Mommy, have you met Felicia?
00:37This is the team.
00:38Oh, this is your agent.
00:42Mommy, remember I said to wait in a car and I'm going to get the suite?
00:45No, don't give me the suite.
00:48Felicia.
00:48Zafika.
00:49Farron.
00:50Same as you, just babysitting Bond.
00:52Well, now only auntie's waiting for you.
00:53It's very disgraceful.
00:54Felicia, you're going to get him the job.
00:56Yes.
00:57If he kills me.
00:59Shaji is just perfect for the job. I'll tell you why.
01:01Okay.
01:01When he was a little boy, he used to say, Mama, I want a license to kill. Remember, Shaji?
01:06Oh, how specific?
01:07I don't remember that.
01:08Yeah.
01:10Oh, look, he's got the mid-time.
01:11I'll just be a minute, okay?
01:12Bye-bye, Felicia.
01:13Bye, I'm so sorry.
01:14You don't know if you're a black lady.
01:20Sorry.
01:21You are a black lady.
01:22I know.
01:26What the fuck is this?
01:27You tell me.
01:34Oh, you know what?
01:35I can't get into this right now.
01:36Okay, listen, none of this, none of this matters, okay?
01:39No one reads the fucking news.
01:40However, this is a big problem.
01:44The person you assaulted, you broke his arm and now he wants an apology.
01:47Sid said he was going for the giant Buddha's head, but now he's coming for you with 200,000
01:51followers and counting, young and brown, your core fan base.
01:55Assaulted?
01:56This man ran at me with a metal object, Felicia.
01:59It was a kind of straight pain, Shah.
02:01Yeah, you know what I'd say.
02:02I mean, the worst he could have done was tag you.
02:04Okay, fine, just give him his apology.
02:05Okay, good.
02:05All right, so how are you going to do?
02:07Oh, no, you have to apologize.
02:09On a video by end of day or he's pressing charges.
02:12Listen, it's Ian, so I've got to stick with the family.
02:14My mom usually hosts, but I fucked that up this time.
02:16That's on me.
02:17I can't be dealing with this.
02:18I have to be with the fan today.
02:19I have to make it right.
02:20This is about your career, Shah.
02:22Your credibility in your community for the people that you see are doing all of this for.
02:30Is it your most followers of me?
02:31Shah!
02:33I'm Shah Latif here.
02:35Eve Mubarak to everyone celebrating.
02:37I want to address the incident at the King's Museum last night.
02:40You might have heard about it or seen it.
02:42Well, I lived it.
02:43And I want you to know that in that moment, I wasn't thinking at all.
02:46I was acting out of sheer instinct.
02:50Community is the most important thing in the world to me.
02:54And I would never take it for granted.
02:56And there's nothing more painful to me than to know that I might have hurt a member of my own
03:00community.
03:01And to know that I might have betrayed your trust in some way, hurts me deeply.
03:06You good, yeah?
03:07Yeah, I'm good, yeah.
03:10So, you've come to visit us lonely villagers.
03:14Oxford educated.
03:15But no sense.
03:17Why did you attack that young man?
03:18Don't listen to him.
03:19Come, let's take a selfie.
03:22And I want you to know that I'm going to do everything in my power to make up for it
03:26and to make it right.
03:29Should have won black.
03:31It would go better with the animal witch's gold palace.
03:36Eve is my day.
03:37It belongs to all Muslims.
03:38But me.
03:39It's mine.
03:40And she took it.
03:41You know one thing she doesn't have?
03:43What?
03:44Her son, Salim, you know, golden boy.
03:48I stood to buy a big shot.
03:50Always trying to compete with you.
03:52Bad shot.
03:53Probably getting a Russian prostitute pregnant this second.
03:55Don't talk, Felty.
03:59Orbital?
04:00She doesn't have her main attraction.
04:03Even me can be the stars of the show.
04:05We just...
04:06Come on.
04:08You worried about what Norti Naila thinks?
04:09Nangi Naila.
04:10Nangi Naila.
04:13She always shows skin because she's got no style.
04:16Where is she?
04:17She's probably too busy checking herself out in the mirror to come host her own party.
04:34Samina.
04:35He's Mubarak.
04:36He's Mubarak.
04:38So happy you could come.
04:40So we decided to co-host this year.
04:42This part of you, Kamal, did you, Tahira?
04:44But you know Naila, how do you deal with her?
04:47She doesn't have to deal with her.
04:48She doesn't have to deal with her.
04:49She doesn't have to do the decoration.
04:50She's a penthouse.
04:53The Quran says charity is a blessing.
04:55Please eat it in the garden.
04:57Eid Mubarak.
04:59Eid Mubarak.
05:05Eid Mubarak.
05:08Hello, ladies.
05:10He's Mubarak.
05:11Eid Mubarak.
05:13What is my wife?
05:14Sit now?
05:16In Saint-Saint.
05:17Now he has passed.
05:18You're the eldest.
05:19No, thank you.
05:20I'm fine standing.
05:22Baba.
05:22Go your favor.
05:23Don't tell me, yeah?
05:24Is that how you're going to kill us, Bond?
05:26By raising the blood sugar?
05:29Yeah, I'll mention that to the writers.
05:31Maybe that's enough.
05:34Maybe, yeah, maybe.
05:35Why don't you do a Pakistani film?
05:36Something with Mehra Khan in it.
05:38No, no.
05:38You're doing a guru vidra.
05:46I'm going to talk to you.
05:54Sure, good first try, good first try.
05:56But I'm going to need you to do another apology video.
06:00First, you forgot to say the words, I'm sorry.
06:02Which is kind of key to the whole thing.
06:04He's buff, no?
06:05Keith says he's gone mental.
06:07Yeah, it's fucking hot.
06:08Sorry, can you in my focus, please?
06:10This is the latest.
06:12Well, this guy likes you.
06:17Also, the whole Aladdin outfit and the Bollywood sweet shop.
06:20You said community like ten times.
06:22It feels like you're begging it.
06:24Maybe down the brow.
06:26I don't get it.
06:26What is a problem?
06:27That looks tough, man.
06:29I'm 22, mate.
06:30What were you trying to get wiped out?
06:32Get it to me sooner rather than later.
06:34This is not going away.
06:36Hi, everyone.
06:37Charlotte Eiff here.
06:38Now, last night at the King's Museum,
06:40a brother and I came into conflict.
06:43I should not have reacted the way that I did.
06:45And the brother in question, perhaps,
06:48should not have run at me with a metal object the way that he did.
06:52Ruba is a community-led...
06:54It's not fucking community-led.
06:56The fact is, we're all in this together.
06:58And in the future,
06:59I promise to use my platform not to lash out,
07:01but to reach out.
07:04Bro.
07:05Ruba is full.
07:07You want some chai or something?
07:10No.
07:11Ruba.
07:11Bro, we good?
07:12I'm good.
07:13Are you good?
07:13Yeah, I'm good, bro.
07:14We good.
07:15I'm good.
07:15Are you good?
07:16Yeah, I'm good.
07:16I'm good then.
07:18Ruba, not Ruba.
07:19What are you doing?
07:19Trying to focus, man.
07:20You are distracting me.
07:22All right.
07:23Yes.
07:23Yo, they got them little laddus over there
07:25with the pink and green balls on it.
07:26You want them?
07:26Big man, please.
07:27I don't want laddus right now, okay?
07:29I just want to concentrate.
07:30Aren't you supposed to be holding on his hand?
07:33Oh, yeah.
07:33Shit.
07:34In a bit, yeah?
07:35Don't bring me no laddus.
07:36We'll go for that.
07:37Oh, I got the time.
07:39Leave the baby.
07:40I'm sorry.
07:41I got the child.
07:42Hey.
07:44Yeah, I got it.
07:44It's only gone.
07:45It's only gone.
07:45You came in?
07:46Where have you been?
07:47I've just been checking on Baba and Zofi.
07:49Bastard, you promised you're not going to leave me.
07:51So if I just die standing here alone...
07:54Please.
07:54Please don't do this now.
07:55You left me.
07:56I'm sorry.
07:57I'm sorry.
07:58Salim!
07:58My Salim is coming.
08:05Salim!
08:06My child!
08:09Salim!
08:15Salim!
08:37Look Mr. Tubaï.
08:39Look at him, the dancing monkey.
08:42Doing his mother's dirty bidding.
08:43Making Russian prostitutes pregnant.
08:45Look.
08:46No, he's not, mommy.
08:46That was a joke that I just made.
08:50Oh, look at that fresh spray.
08:52Zulfi, weakest of us all.
08:56Don't leave.
08:57Shahjush is coming. Don't clean me.
08:58Shahbeta, can I borrow your money for a minute?
09:00I need my co-host in the kitchen.
09:02Okay, we're just going to...
09:03Okay, okay. No, no, let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go.
09:09Our KPI is the most interesting thing about this, okay?
09:12It's the retention of the customer base after that discount period, you know?
09:15It's off the charts.
09:16People want more community-driven rides, she helps.
09:18Yes, Salim.
09:19Yes.
09:20What are you saying, bro?
09:20Yes, look at this guy.
09:22You good?
09:22Yeah. Come, join us, man. Join us.
09:24I'll be busy.
09:25I've always been doing that anyway.
09:26Yeah, I've got you some noodles, bro.
09:27Thank you, thank you.
09:28Yeah, so I never got your number.
09:29How you been?
09:30I've been good, bro.
09:30Yeah?
09:31You've been breaking shit.
09:33What do you mean by that?
09:35Glass ceilings.
09:36Thank you. Try it, man. Try it, you know?
09:38And that guy's arm.
09:40It's just a fracture.
09:41Hey, just to bring this back to what we were talking about before you got here.
09:44Yeah.
09:45You know, our number of drivers are growing.
09:46By the day, we'll be in all key five bars by June, so...
09:49Muba!
09:50Sick idea, innit?
09:51I've been there from day one, I remember.
09:52Bro, I'm so proud of this guy.
09:54Gus Smith is so proud.
09:55And you know what's amazing?
09:55He's always been an entrepreneur.
09:57If anything, he just went from selling grams to Instagram.
10:03Just out of interest, what was your credit situation with the criminal record and everything?
10:08No problems whatsoever.
10:09No issues.
10:10And just for clarity, I didn't go inside for selling mall.
10:14It's not just five-bit of island disorder.
10:15It was self-defense, to be honest with you.
10:17No way, he's a ride-or-die and he was there for me.
10:19Any credit issues, though?
10:20No credit issues, because I'm going all in with everything that I've got, right?
10:24So if you need any credit, if you need financing, just talk to me.
10:27Sorry, I was on the impression we were coming in seed round rather than source series A.
10:32You see this conversation here?
10:33This is, in fact, the closest he's been to the business.
10:37Right?
10:38In fact, obviously, it's too close.
10:39Okay, give me back my dildos, then.
10:44Even for me personally, the most important quality by Amruba is, in fact, the quality of the relationships.
10:51We're not just there for them when we want, because that's bullshit.
10:55That's fake.
10:56Get the fuck off me, bro.
10:58I don't know.
11:01And anyway, I've always had a passion for customer services.
11:03It's my thing.
11:04That's one thing I picked up in Dubai.
11:06That's what we do best, hospitality.
11:07That's our culture.
11:08One might say it, like, the Muslim way of doing business.
11:11I love the idea.
11:13I'm going to present it to the guys, see what they say.
11:14Well, you're taking this, you're trying to get investment from Dubai.
11:20Yeah, okay.
11:21Yeah.
11:22You good?
11:23No, I'm just saying, you know, Dubai works for people with, you know, all like, with the,
11:27but, I mean, what the fuck's this guy going to do in Dubai, man?
11:30He ain't going to let you in, bro.
11:31You don't want to go there, man.
11:32I'm all in, yeah?
11:33Remember that.
11:37He was disrespectful.
11:38He referred to your quiff like that.
11:39There was no need.
11:40It looks good.
11:42Shah, got your second apology.
11:44Yeah, that's not going to work.
11:45First of all, what was up with that background?
11:48If you post that, you'll have to issue a second apology for being a rich asshole.
11:51Also, you forgot to say sorry again.
11:54Oh, the first class into that, I'm clear, Naila.
11:58Sano, see, Tom, see, Sika.
12:00Next year, he does back at yours, no?
12:01No, absolutely, yes.
12:03Very kind of you to step in this year, Naila.
12:06Taira, don't worry.
12:08Everything is fine, right?
12:09Do you?
12:11Why?
12:13No, nothing.
12:14It's because I was watching him today, and I think I worry for him, for all of you.
12:22It's so much pressure.
12:23That's very kind of you to worry.
12:25I see a bit of your sister in him.
12:35Does Shahjahan have someone you can talk to?
12:38He has me.
12:39Rukhaya had you too, but she needed more help, right?
12:43No, she doesn't know anything, she doesn't know anything.
12:46Naila, please.
12:48It's all good.
12:49My son is going to be the next James Bond.
12:51We all couldn't be more proud.
12:57It's okay to talk about these struggles now.
12:59Really?
13:03It's all good.
13:05First class.
13:42to the Pakistani leader of some people who have been arrested.
13:46When he has been arrested against the armed forces,
13:49against the armed forces,
13:51he has been arrested.
13:52He has been arrested.
13:59Shah, we need that apology.
14:01We're running out of time.
14:02I've literally written it out for you.
14:04Just find a quiet, neutral group.
14:06Record it and send it back now, before it's too fucking late.
14:09Okay?
14:14For fuck's sake.
14:32Am I interacting with something?
14:35Yeah.
14:36A conversation.
14:38Can you fucking close the door, please?
14:40Yes.
14:42Is this like...
14:43You two...
14:44I like her.
14:45Texting.
14:46Wow.
14:47So how long has this been going on?
14:48Six months.
14:49Three months?
14:50Okay, so this is nothing.
14:52Can we please not do this in front of Shah?
14:53I'm sure.
14:54I'm not going to tell anyone.
14:54Come here.
14:55Can we not do this in front of Shah?
14:56I came here for you.
14:57But I never asked you to, did I?
14:59But I asked me to.
15:00I never...
15:00Calm down.
15:01I never fucking asked you to.
15:02And this, this whole thing you're doing here, this is what I'm talking about.
15:05This is the whole problem.
15:05So just to clarify, you didn't come in to see Zulfi then for the thing?
15:07No.
15:08Yes.
15:08Does he know, by the way?
15:09Oh, fuck's sake.
15:10Well, yeah, he's going to find out now, isn't he?
15:12I'm not going to say anything.
15:13I've got your back.
15:14I've got your back.
15:15Look, we don't have to tell anyone.
15:17Let's just be real about what this is, because this is something, right?
15:20Me and you both know it.
15:21What does that even mean, bro?
15:24You live a million miles away, okay?
15:26You have a whole life.
15:28You have fucking house keys, car keys, so many keys, okay?
15:32I have one key.
15:33I can give you keys.
15:34I don't want your keys, okay?
15:35I want mine.
15:36Yo, can I just step in here for a minute, offer maybe a different perspective
15:38from my own more mature experience, yeah?
15:41I want an honest answer from both of you, okay?
15:44Alright?
15:45Alright.
15:45Now, let's say, let's say you've been texting.
15:48There's some emotional ambiguity about where you both stand.
15:52Alright?
15:53Yeah?
15:53You can relate, right?
15:54You send a message, a heartfelt one.
15:57Instead of it going green, it goes grey.
16:00What does that mean to you?
16:02It means you're blocked.
16:05Fuck off, really?
16:06Yeah.
16:07Let me just show you this.
16:08Okay, I'm going to ask you to leave now.
16:09Can I show you this quickly?
16:10No, no, no.
16:11Oi.
16:12Don't say anything to anyone.
16:13I'm chill.
16:16Salim, yeah?
16:20He's not fucking chill.
16:27With Saigon, who will lead the prayer?
16:29Pasha?
16:31Okay.
16:31Well, he recites beautifully, but I think I should lead.
16:35I will lead.
16:36Seated?
16:36I won't be seated.
16:37Think about it.
16:38Let someone else lead.
16:40Listen, you ass-wipes.
16:41I can run circles around you idiots.
16:44I will lead.
16:51By so desperately pursuing the role of Bond, an icon of the white establishment, Shah Latif
16:57is exchanging his political art for vanilla distraction.
17:00And so he joins a long line of brown men who think that by becoming our oppressor, he's
17:04somehow liberating all of us.
17:05And he puts a filter on his IMDb pic to look more white.
17:18Come on.
17:20Allahu Akbar.
17:21Allahu Akbar.
17:22Allahu Akbar.
17:30Hey, Shah Latif here.
17:32I was involved in an incident last night at the King's Museum that was both unfortunate
17:36and avoidable.
17:37And I'm deeply sorry.
17:39Hey, hey, hey, hey, you fucking thing.
17:43Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.
17:45Alhamdulillahi Rabbil Alameen.
17:46Shah Latif here.
17:48Last night at the King's Museum I fucked up a guy running at me with a metal object
17:52and apparently I'm the one who has to apologize.
17:54Allah.
17:55Allah.
17:58Allahu Akbar.
17:59Hi.
18:00Shah Latif here.
18:01Literally nothing to apologize for.
18:03Trying to save my career and my life.
18:05So I'll fuck you and your little TikTok, you little.
18:13Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.
18:37Hello?
18:40Yeah, hi.
18:41Is this Sid?
18:41Uh, yeah.
18:43Hi.
18:43Hi.
18:44This is Shah Latif.
18:46Is it?
18:47Actually.
18:48Yeah, it is actually.
18:49Bro, I just want to say, I am so, so sorry for what happened yesterday.
18:56No excuses.
18:57I was banging out of order.
19:01I just don't know what came over me.
19:02I really hope you can find it in your heart to please forgive me.
19:08Yo.
19:09I appreciate this, man.
19:11I really do.
19:12I was going to call my lawyers, but then the fact you called, man.
19:16Oh, bro, he's been eating me up the whole day.
19:18I can't tell you how much this means, man.
19:20Legit.
19:23Well.
19:24Do you mind just sending me what you just said?
19:26Like in a recording?
19:29Sorry?
19:30I need the engagement, bro.
19:32Right.
19:33I mean, I guess so.
19:35Nice, man.
19:36Appreciate it.
19:37Alright.
19:37Oh, and thanks for the follow, mate.
19:39Just remember, keep the vid under 90 for the algorithm here.
19:43Mm-hmm.
19:44I will do.
19:45Alright, see you.
20:03What happened?
20:03What?
20:05What happened?
20:06You fell.
20:07What?
20:08I was praying on a chair already.
20:09You want to sit down?
20:11Come.
20:11Come.
20:12How's your breathing?
20:13You okay?
20:15Why didn't you sit him down?
20:16Well, now you want to be involved.
20:17What the fuck's that supposed to mean?
20:18I'm doing this.
20:18I'm doing something inside.
20:19It's for yourself.
20:19Don't come at me.
20:20You always fucking want to be the hero and you're never around.
20:22Alright, alright.
20:23Come on, mate.
20:24Huh?
20:24Baba?
20:25Is anyone getting any water?
20:27Yeah.
20:28I'm going to get a blanket or something.
20:32Are you good, bro?
20:34Bro?
20:34Are you good?
20:35Are you dumb?
20:37What?
20:37He's a fucking diabetic and you're giving him boxes of sweets.
20:40Shabbat, beta.
20:41Alright, alright, alright.
20:42Shall I just fuck off again, yeah?
20:43He's better when I'm not around.
20:44That's what you're saying.
20:45No, no, he's not my dad.
20:45He's your dad.
20:46What?
20:47Shut you.
20:48You know what?
20:48You think you're a fucking bad man, yeah?
20:50Fucking yeah, my people is my bad.
20:52How the fuck are you going to help your people if you're too busy sucking white people's
20:55dicks?
20:57It's okay with me.
20:57He's just crying about last night, bro.
20:59What?
20:59You came in to take me.
21:00You came for a free fucking meal, bro.
21:01I thought you were giving out your little business cards.
21:02That's some sweaty old minicap driver.
21:04Blow it, blow it, bro.
21:05He's been leech, man.
21:06He's been leeching off me my whole life.
21:08Why are you now trying to leech off this dickhead?
21:09Bro, he doesn't care about your shitty ideas.
21:11He's trying to chirp his little sister.
21:13What?
21:13I love her.
21:15What the fuck, man?
21:16Are you fucking, are you mad?
21:18Listen, don't listen to him.
21:19He's lost the fucking plot.
21:20He's been chatting to her pig's head in the freezer.
21:21What?
21:22What freezer?
21:22In the garage and he's been talking to her.
21:23You thought he was talking to her pig's head?
21:25What if I have?
21:26What if I have?
21:26What if I have?
21:27Better listener than any of you lot.
21:28That's what happens when you're related to you guys.
21:30I'm not the first family member to lose my mind.
21:31Hey!
21:32Enough!
21:34Why are you, why are you saying that to me?
21:39No, no, I'm asking.
21:40Why is he saying that to me?
21:41Baba, what did I do?
21:41What did I do?
21:42I'm trying to fucking make a difference.
21:43I'm not just sat there fucking complaining about everything.
21:45Will you not judge me?
21:46Huh?
21:47Why are you fucking touching me?
21:48Don't touch me.
21:49Shh!
21:49I'm trying to change the world.
21:50Alright?
21:51So anyone doesn't look at you and think you're some fucking worthless thinking.
21:55Peter Paki!
21:56Look at me!
21:56Get the fuck out of your voice!
21:58I'm not the problem, am I?
21:59She blames you for what happened to your mum, bro.
22:00Shut up!
22:01Good boy!
22:42amazing one mixed brew wow one brianne
22:51great and some oh thank you enjoy your meal let us know if you would like anything else
22:55uh can I get some more water yes sure thank you oh my god Yasmin what the fuck what are
23:15you doing here what are you doing here oh yeah you um come here every year or need don't
23:21tell you I totally forgot you forgot yeah yeah I'm just here I'm just picking up some
23:26food right what a coincidence actually um do you mind if I what's happening I just told
23:37you I'm just gonna pick up some food on the other side of London at 9 30 on Eid yeah
23:43don't
23:44eat that why not you won't like it I think I know what I like it's chicken not lamb why
23:52would you get the chicken trying new things is that okay no it'd be weird because the
23:56lamb's a signature okay so you're here because of the article can we stop pretending I'm sorry
24:02what article are you being serious right now I'm sorry if I missed your what is it with
24:07an article that sounds fun tell me about it you're doubling down on this right dude you
24:12know how it's like I've got busy you you're busy well I'm sure you're not fixated on everything
24:16that I'm doing this is a strong take I gotta hand it to you you know what you mean it
24:20sounds like
24:20you think I'm like killing myself to be something that I'm not and you memorized it that's sad who's
24:27it oh you said I'm not sad I've been having a great time I've been swapping out uh political
24:31art for vanilla destruction can you stop which isn't my article please and it's not even about you
24:36actually oh it's not about me full disclosure Charlotte even I know one another and have spent
24:41time together socially is that how you're going to describe our relationship well that's how
24:46you describe the relationship and you calm down these people are not your audience you're ruining
24:50their dinner and mine this is revenge porn man this is revenge porn dressed up as an identity politics
24:55and pop culture pink piece is it revenge porn if you're fucking yourself over yeah yeah actually it
25:00is that's a sub-genre of revenge porn yeah it is it doesn't matter what kind of point delete that
25:04now
25:05delete that or I'll break your fucking nose with it yes and the deleted pics folder what do you think
25:10I'm
25:10fucking think that's what you want and that's not a private language here you idiot dude can you
25:17still eat it so I wanted a selfie you can talk to me I'm very approachable okay yeah thank you
25:21dude
25:21enjoy your milkshake thank you yeah shows up what are you doing are you kidding me enjoy a little fan
25:25come on man let's take it have you been paid is she paid yes I paid well and I'm the
25:29dramatic one
25:29okay look look time out please I just want to talk excuse me after all this time can we just
25:35have a chat
25:35it's not right man it's not right
25:41I'm sorry
25:44is there a back door where's the back door I think they're here for me right anyone
25:49fine thanks I'll find it myself
25:51wait wait wait
25:55sorry
25:58is there an exit
25:59go away go away not allowed not allowed please
26:06I want to be done wrong I just wanted to see the last bit wasn't my fault
26:30come on now that was crazy you're crazy
26:34me
26:35come on you knocked three people out just by staring at me
26:38if you ever need a job I could do with security
26:42if you think that was fine you have some serious issues
26:45better than you know book club for one what kind of eat is that huh
26:48how about your eat what crossing London to stalk your ex you need help
26:51you know I do and you did help me and I'm grateful because it shows that you care
26:56I do care well it's more beautiful they do you know what yeah
27:01yeah I'll buy a rose
27:03I should be thanking you right no please
27:07what how much a rose
27:08five for you okay that's a bit steep I'll do 250 for her
27:11you're embarrassing yourself
27:11oh that's not the first time I would have done that for you though is it
27:15I don't need a rose from you
27:17you don't need anything from anyone
27:18no just not from you actually my life's pretty great
27:20okay if it's great lend me five pounds
27:22and I'll buy you a rose and I'm going to stop and scratch
27:28you know if you knew me at all you know I hate roses
27:33I remember that I just you gotta love the gesture huh
27:37you love the gesture
27:37guys guys why don't you come in for the best curry on brick lane
27:4020% off for the lovely couple eh
27:42we're not a couple
27:43but we used to be you met my family
27:45yeah I did actually and you know what
27:47he made me wear a jacket over my sleeveless dress the first time when I met his dad
27:51well not in a funder way just my dad's a bit of a like a little pervy uncle mate
27:55listen she was making out like I would have locked her in a cupboard if we carried on dating
27:58yeah
27:59she put all her cultural and family issues on me just because I'm brown that's racist isn't it
28:02isn't it more racist to be killing yourself to play a white neo-colonial MI6 agent
28:06but if I played him he wouldn't be white would he
28:08yeah but you would be
28:09guys I've got an idea why don't you go to my cousin's restaurant across the road
28:12I think that's better for you
28:13don't you want to hear about how he brought a date to my friends and family screening
28:16a date that was not a date she was a world colleague that I brought
28:20she was shit in your mango tree flop guessing it wasn't enough to snog her on screen
28:24good for the career to be spotted out and about with her
28:26god forbid anything come from all that
28:28okay okay hadn't we broken up by then
28:30sure that night was about me
28:32okay and also taking a break isn't the same as breaking up
28:35okay so then how exactly would you define how
28:37fuck what I left my bag at the restaurant
28:41okay do you have to go back there now
28:44I have my passport in it and I'm leaving tomorrow
28:45what are you going to Argentina
28:47what why are you going to Argentina
28:49wait someone's taking it
28:53my airports are moving fuck
28:54oh shit you're going to catch that
28:56fuck you need a cabinet
28:57oh wait taxi
29:00I need to get it back
29:01that's gone
29:02can you just let me help
29:05trust me for once
29:08I don't know
29:09come on
29:10come on
29:11come on
29:12come on
29:13come on
29:14yeah yeah yeah
29:14seriously
29:15hey mate
29:15listen
29:16can you give us a lift
29:17yeah
29:18okay
29:18yeah
29:19how fast is this guy
29:20not that fast
29:21faster than walking though isn't it
29:23well yeah it's a bike
29:26if you annoy me
29:26I will ditch you
29:27understood
29:28you always say that but you're still here
29:29yeah well I'm leaving the country tomorrow aren't I
29:31hey
29:32this is an emergency
29:33can you follow this door
29:35yeah
29:35all right auntie I got you
29:37auntie you're definitely going to get a tip
29:39all right listen
29:40it's going to be fine
29:41what's the number of Argentina
29:43funding came through for my doc
29:44the shipwreck one
29:45mm-hmm
29:46come on
29:49proud of you man
29:51I don't mean that the patronizing
29:52well it was a little bit patronizing
29:54no seriously
29:54I wish there were more no kinkies about shipwrecks
30:07your dad is more
30:09her than Fondo
30:12I appreciate you saying that
30:14he would have killed to have me in your family
30:17I would have liked to kill him
30:18I'd have to keep pulling him to one side
30:19like that what the fuck you doing
30:20chill out baby
30:25how is he
30:27he's not good
30:28nah
30:29he's not um
30:31yeah he's not good
30:38I think my whole family hates me
30:41they probably do
30:48I can make a film
30:50I can make a film
30:52that's mad
30:53shut up
30:54I can make a film
30:54I can make a film
30:57I can make a film
30:57I can make a film
30:57that is
30:58come on that's crazy
31:00of all the tunes
31:01that's wild
31:27is it here?
31:30somewhere around there
31:31maybe it's in the diner over there
31:33in there?
31:34yeah
31:37thanks
31:38yeah
31:3910% off your next ride
31:40leaving tomorrow
31:41well when you get back then
31:42not coming back
31:42what do you mean I'm coming back?
31:44doesn't matter
31:45what do you mean by that?
31:47okay
31:47money
31:48jolly
31:48no man
31:50nice one
31:53what do you mean you're not coming back?
31:56it's here
31:59okay
31:59okay
32:00um
32:01yeah
32:02I think
32:02is that down there on the left?
32:04yeah
32:04hurry up
32:04it takes weeks to get a new passport
32:06don't worry
32:06we're gonna get it
32:07wait
32:08I think it is
32:09it's this one here
32:16hi
32:17hi
32:19welcome to the glow up
32:2025 hand
32:21oh
32:21all I'd like to pay
32:22please
32:23but I don't have my wallet or phone
32:25so
32:26how's this become an expensive date for me
32:32and here are your body bags
32:36down the corridor on the right
32:37thank you
32:38all right
32:39okay
32:39so what are we going to perform exactly?
32:41uh
32:41it's a bum bag
32:42okay
32:43what kind of bum bag?
32:44just a bag
32:45right
32:46neon
32:47pink and yellow
32:48wait is this the one that I got you?
32:50yeah
32:51aww
32:52all right
32:52relax
32:53what
32:53we shouldn't be too hard to find
32:55right
32:55yeah it's convenient
32:55it's a useful size bag
32:57okay
32:57okay
33:01aww
33:02I'm sharp
33:06it might be a bit tricky
33:08oh shit
33:10I'm never gonna find my bag in here
33:12whoa
33:12aren't you forgetting something?
33:15say what?
33:16check your goodie bag mate
33:17can't let you on the dance floor like that
33:20oh with the pain
33:22all right
33:23um
33:24fuck it
33:26um
33:27I'm not really
33:28I'm shit at this kind of
33:29sit down
33:29I'll do it
33:33whoa whoa whoa
33:34be nice
33:36be nice
33:37when am I not nice?
33:40as much as you want to um
33:42humiliate me
33:44remember whose passport
33:46don't rush the artist
33:47please
33:50sorry
33:53or look into her soul
33:59why'd you get rid of the nose ring?
34:01um
34:02I don't know
34:03you look so much fitter with that nose ring man
34:05what?
34:06fuck you
34:06what?
34:07just saying
34:07took the attention away from that
34:08cold dead look in your eyes
34:11probably around the same time as you um
34:12started losing half your hair
34:14you know um
34:15fitting hair is linked to high levels of testosterone
34:17so
34:17because I'm mad
34:18so if you need some money for a hair transplant
34:20and donkey you just let me know
34:21no I'm fine
34:22you know I just take all my self-loathing
34:23and I rub it on my scalp every day
34:25so thanks for chopping me up
34:26next time I see you
34:27next time I see you
34:29you're gonna have shaved your head
34:30and you're gonna tell me it's for a role
34:32or
34:32because I'm gonna have a really secret sad illness
34:34and you're gonna be so upset
34:35about all the time you're just spending it
34:36and now I'm dead
34:38yeah
34:38yeah
34:38death guilty
34:39yeah
34:39that's a straight up auntie move
34:41it is
34:42sorry did that trigger you
34:43sorry does that turn you on
34:45I know
34:46I know
34:46I know
34:47I know
34:47I know
34:48I know
34:49I know
34:51I know
34:52I know
34:54I know
34:55I know
34:56I know
34:58I know
34:59I know
35:09I know
35:12I know
35:13I know
35:14I know
35:16I know
35:19I know
35:20I know
35:21I know
35:21I know
35:22I know
35:22I know
35:23I know
35:23I know
35:24I know
35:24I know
35:25I know
35:26I know
35:26I know
35:27I know
35:27I know
35:28Oh, yeah, I'm a fun let me look at for a bag. Yeah, I'm looking as well. All right. I'm
35:57always looking. Don't worry
36:03You're not a bad either in the end. Not the worst. Really? What are you looking at me for? I
36:10don't have it.
36:22Line? Line?
36:28Line?
36:31Gonna go to the bathroom, yeah?
36:48Smaller!
36:49What the hell are you making?
36:59You don't have a bone stupid bone.
37:02Are you fucking mad?
37:04Man, hold up!
37:06Get me out here and watch.
37:07Don't listen to me, he's not such a fucking girl.
37:08I'm not the first family member to lose my mind.
37:10What?
37:10I'm so fucking mad!
37:24I'm so fucking mad.
37:29Uh...
37:34Uh...
37:35Ach!
37:35Huh!
38:08Hey.
38:13Do I find it?
38:23I just want to say what you're doing, you're halfway across the world, on your own.
38:29It's amazing.
38:30You're fearless.
38:31I've always admired that about you.
38:33Thanks.
38:39Oh, where are you going to live?
38:41A flat or something?
38:43Yeah, I found a place near the offices.
38:44Okay.
38:45Great.
38:45Yeah.
38:47Is it like a good neighborhood?
38:49I'm just saying a woman out there on her own.
38:52I can take care of myself.
38:53I know, I know, I know.
38:54The Spanish is kind of shit, so you're going to need someone to...
38:56What are you doing?
38:58What are you doing?
38:59I'm looking at your passports and I'm having a little bit of a race.
39:03What?
39:04You found the bag, didn't you?
39:08Look.
39:11What?
39:11Yeah, you did, you psycho.
39:14What are you talking about?
39:15You just said passports with a fucking S. Where are they?
39:18Where are they?
39:19Fine, fine, fine.
39:23Oliver Winthrop?
39:24Fucking Winthrop, man!
39:25It's like...
39:26And I'm the one trying to be white.
39:27Yeah, you did.
39:27Leave me the bag.
39:28I'll put it in the Gym.
39:28Fuck off!
39:48hey hey hey why did you lie to me i didn't fucking lie you didn't tell me you got a
39:52boyfriend why
39:53do you think i'm here you're the one that lied about the passports okay all right then i'll be
39:58honest now i'm not here for your fucking article okay i'm here i'm here for you look i'm here for
40:02you because i miss you i miss us okay i'll admit that now can you admit if it's really all
40:15done
40:15between us it's a little bit weird that you didn't want to tell me about your boyfriend of
40:18well how long a year that you're moving to another country with tomorrow yeah i mean there's something
40:24i got cold feet this is a fucking big decision okay so you got cold feet yeah okay but i
40:31didn't
40:32want to see him on my last night in london am i out here running around with you why is
40:35that
40:35hmm but he's fucking great he's really great and he loves me and he's reliable and he's there for me
40:43so i don't know i don't know
40:56do you want to know what it's like
41:00doing the dirty work
41:04fighting everybody and being a nobody
41:11i i don't live with myself i live with whoever they need me to be
41:21and if i don't know who i am it's because i feel like maybe you don't want to know
41:28are you acting
41:31no it's like lines they're all lines but the feeling is honest
41:39you're insane
41:49please don't go
41:55please don't go
41:56take care okay
41:58okay
41:59okay
42:01okay
42:02okay
42:05okay
Comments