- 2 days ago
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FunTranscript
00:10I
00:11Understand now it's like looking into the heart of the universe and finding like only your own soul, and it's
00:20yellow
00:23Ouch gotcha lemon head nice shot dude
00:30You're so never getting these back a little brat
00:34Here you go I
00:40Live in a lemon there's no amount of foundation that can hide my shame I hear you brah
00:46I mean working at stick it looks easy, but
00:50Whoa, wait a second
00:53It is easy one more day just one more day. That's with him
01:00Huh dude, you look terrible there's a sale on country records this week all week
01:05That doesn't sound so bad. You don't understand all they've been playing is country music
01:11I've had discussions about old country versus new country, and I'm starting to form an opinion dude. No dude. Yes
01:22Don't touch that it's therapy chill man. I
01:27Don't hear anything white noise it clears your mind of all music the way sorbet cleanses the palate
01:34Dude I think you should take that away from him
01:37You don't want him to accidentally erase any more brain cells if I hear Bobby's got a fry one more
01:42time
01:43I'm gonna full-on lose it. I mean it no middle ground
01:46How many copies have you had today three not counting this I didn't get any sleep last night
01:52I was afraid to have the dream again what dream the one about the cowboy who thinks?
01:56I'm the one who ran away with his wife to the big city, and he's coming to kick my
02:06What's the rush man you look familiar what's your name again?
02:22It was just a dream Wyatt not all cowboys are out to get you. I need a lemon whip fast.
02:29I'm on it man
02:30If I'm late, I'm toast. Hey guys. What's up?
02:34Hi, Nikki
02:35Anyway, what's with you? I'm just a little tense about work coach kicking your body again
02:41He's like this psycho prison guard
02:43I just got off probation and if I'm late. I'll go right back on but you're the best worker like
02:48ever
02:48Yeah, like really
02:50I'm just trying to
02:53So
02:54What do you want probation for I folded some sweatshirts instead of hanging them on the rack and you didn't
03:00get jail time?
03:01Here try this
03:06This sucks I haven't exactly gotten to lemon whips in the manual yet
03:10Ladies gentlemen one and all the Jones Meister is here
03:14Nice outfit you like it. Uh, you look like an idiot insult me all you like. I know you want
03:21me
03:22What's with the long faces work sucks?
03:25Whoa, I feel your pain and I have come to the rescue
03:30You're looking at the newest staff member at the Galleria Mall Amusement Park
03:36Dude
03:37Jude
03:41Great and I have to spend the afternoon ducking rednecks
03:44Do you though take a day off and I'll sneak you into the amusement park for an all-expenses paid
03:49mental health day?
03:50Can you do that? Oh, yeah, there's a side door. I can sneak you all in it'd be better than
03:57working
03:57I'm in anything would be better than another minute in a giant lemon. No way
04:03There's no way I'm calling in sick and going to the amusement park
04:06Why not? Hello? I just got off probation if I get caught I might get fired
04:11That's not so bad. It happens to me every day. Come on, Jen. It'll be fun
04:17Well
04:18What am I thinking? No, I've got to go to work
04:22Jen, it's your duty to take the day off work. No, it's your destiny
04:30Destiny? He's on a roll calling in sick is like a necessary part of the evolutionary process
04:36What are you talking about? Where would the human race be without the sick day?
04:41We'd still be living in trees eating bananas and fish and things
04:48We're humans because millions of years ago some ape took a day off and invented tools
04:54That ape decided I'm not going into the tree today. I'm gonna go build a small car out of rocks
05:00or maybe teach a cow to give me some milk
05:04Next thing you know, we're golfing on the moon
05:07Which further illustrates my point because like even at the point where the astronauts were pulling this mad historical move
05:14They recognize the opportunity for goofing off. It's like one small step for man
05:20Dude, let's spin a few donuts in my moon buggy
05:25The sick day isn't just a fun thing to do. It's a fundamental right of every man woman and child
05:36Where's Jen she left a couple minutes ago power good speech though. I got a rock are you guys in?
05:43Definitely we're in we since when were you part of we i'll be the judge of this. She's hot. She's
05:49fun
05:50She's in i'll be at the park call me on my cell when you're on your way later
05:53It is now oh nine five six hours
05:56We make our excuses at our respective places of employment and rendezvous back here at 10 30 hours mark mark
06:03Okay, then
06:06Hey, do you guys know who my boss is?
06:10Welcome to the khaki park
06:12Happy khaki day
06:15Listen up
06:18I'm taking the day off
06:20This may be short notice, but I have this friend who arrives suddenly from out of town now this friend
06:26She comes once a month to see me and quite frankly. I don't enjoy her visits. In fact, she makes
06:33me kind of crazy
06:35So for your safety and the safety of the fine patrons of the khaki barn. I'm taking the day off
06:40any objections
06:44Fine see ya
06:56Why it what's wrong man migraine too much pixie hicks can't take the whining losing my sense of self man.
07:06I understand i've been there
07:09Go home get into a dark room put on some cold play or some old talking heads can help
07:17Radiohead even better
07:19Oh
07:29Mission accomplished hmm there nope
07:41Sweet
07:46Excuse me dude. Can I have the polar sausage stick it?
07:54Flawless I rule
08:06Hey, what's up?
08:07Nikki mission accomplished i'm heading for the rendezvous point me too have you heard from me?
08:11Jude
08:13Hey, what's up?
08:15Hey, dude i've conference you in why it hey dude hey
08:21Wyatt hey hang on i'll conference you in
08:24Hello jonesy nikki dude jude oh hang on i got a call
08:31Hey, it's me oh it's you hang on
08:35Guys i've conference in malibu juice barbie hey hey hey hey hey are you guys all
08:41All sets
08:43We're all at the rendezvous wait a minute where's jen hang on i'll conference are in
08:52Boy the graphite seems to have a greater tensile strength allowing me to utilize all the power i can generate
08:57in my swing don't you find
08:59Absolutely sir it's very strong
09:01Of course the wood has a pleasing traditional aesthetic quality that will impress the ladies at the club and well
09:07That's important too right that's true if they're over 60
09:12Excuse me for a second please hello jen where are you yeah
09:16We're totally waiting for you at the lemon come on i told you i'm not coming but it won't be
09:22the same without you
09:24Come on jen it'll be fun i can't i don't want to lose my job i'm trying to be responsible
09:30That's so overrated i've got to go
09:33Ow oopsie
09:36Ow ow
09:38Oh i'm hanging up now i've got golf balls to clean up ouch
09:42Ouchie
09:43Owly ow ow ow
09:45So what'll it be wood or graphite
09:50I guess jen's out i'm not giving up yet give us an hour jonesy she'll be there
09:57Jen seems to have lost her perspective in this particular situation for once you've made a truly lucid comment
10:04No need to insult me dude it's up to us to give her that perspective back it's time for an
10:10intervention
10:11All right you guys i have a plan sweet i'm in hang on
10:19Ready oh wait i made this last week it'll be the perfect cover closed for emergency pedicure
10:28Okay here's what we do
10:35Welcome to the khaki bar
10:37Happy khaki day
10:50My friend says i need shopping therapy i'm gonna use my employee discount for these items
10:57and these and these you know i think that today the employee discount is 90 percent
11:04Hmm any problems with that good put it on my tab later
11:10Do you have capris to match this come on if you're gonna follow me around you might as well
11:14make yourself useful are you gonna let me in on your plan now just leave it to the professionals
11:25Here you go two name tags
11:47Excuse me could i please have some service
11:53Hello could i please have some service please
11:59Could i dude yo sorry wow
12:03Nasty
12:05Ah why don't they ever clean these washrooms they're totally gag worthy
12:12Yeah like totally you know you're like totally putting the itch in
12:16Whoa my little lemon squeezing waif you think you can just waltz into our lives and join the crew like
12:22some kind of insta friend i've known these guys since kindergarten we have history all i know about
12:27you is that you wear a lot of pink but i didn't think i could hold my breath that long
12:33let's see
12:36Hmm not bad where are the name tags
12:39i left them on the counter well go get them and i'll meet you the penalty box in 15.
12:45i can't go back in there i i can't you can i can't we'll do it together
12:57Oh brother
12:59Ugh why is it guys can make all kinds of stinks themselves but they can't stand anyone else's oh i
13:05know
13:08Let's go we've got work to do we do come on
13:15Oh my lord why why dude don't look install too whatever you do dude i told you not to look
13:32Uh penalty box where we always get two minutes for slicing prices coach holder here
13:37I need to talk to jennifer masterson please
13:39This phone isn't for personal calls
13:41It's an emergency
13:44This is her sister vicki
13:46Um her aunt has had a terrible fall and we need jed to come to the hospital right away
13:52Oh my i'll get her right away wait wait hold it up smokey on her application jen didn't mention any
14:02sisters
14:03Uh um i suffer from chronic shyness so jen didn't mention me because you know it might expose me to
14:12emotional distress she has to come quickly aunt beryl hit her head and lost her memory and she's
14:18She's calling out for jen if she's lost her memory how can she be calling out for jen how about
14:25that huh
14:27Um wait it's the medical mystery but that's what she keeps screaming over and over jen jen jen
14:36I'll get jen right away hurry man hurry
14:40Masterson phone emergency at home your aunt beryl had a fall
14:44My aunt who hello hey it's me we're breaking you out i'm not going why don't you just go with
14:51caitlin and
14:52the guys little miss powder puff are you kidding me you can't ditch me with her i told you i'm
14:57not
14:58going leave me alone you need this sick day more than you know
15:04What now plan b
15:08Awesome
15:11This high def is like you're actually in the movie
15:17Come on
15:19Where are they they should be here by now we'll have to stall leave it to me
15:25We don't need longer thicker lashes right this minute let a professional work
15:31ouch
15:40What the
15:42Caitlin
15:42Oh jen
15:45You've got to come
15:46Aunt beryl isn't gonna make it
15:48Get off me i'm not coming and that's final
15:51You'll never forgive yourself if you don't come
15:54We need y'all
15:56What's going on over here coach halda she's so brave she doesn't want to leave work even to see her
16:04poor don and betty
16:07beryl
16:08But we need her we need her strength more than ever
16:14Huh the girl's got talent
16:17Finally
16:19Oh no
16:21It's more desperate than i thought
16:27Oh i'm so glad you're here paramedic john gage and dude i'm totally a paramedic
16:35We're here to take you to the hospital yeah like stat i am not going anywhere
16:41She's in denial do something you'd better go jen your aunt may not have much time i'm not going anywhere
16:48this is all a load
16:50She's in shock start a ringer lactate solution 200 cc's riddling stat
16:58i think we're gonna have to like restrain her
17:03You take as long as you need jen we're all about family here at the penalty box some things are
17:09even more important than work
17:13Wow i wish i was a paramedic stat stat oh that's fun aunt beryl has you to thank for fulfilling
17:21her dying wish
17:22hey don't you work in the lemon yeah small world huh
17:32friendly box coach halter speaking yes
17:36hello this is jen's father we need her to come home right now there's a bit of a
17:41food fight foods everywhere we need someone to clean it up
17:45oh
17:46i see oh i'll send her home right away yeah thank you
17:54thank you oh i'm good
17:59cover me
18:03you guys are so dead when i get off this thing don't be mad jen we did it for you
18:08if i get caught i'll
18:09lose my job you won't get caught we pulled it off man you're free as a bird i guess you're
18:17right
18:17although i am strapped to a table yeah well freedom is relative
18:26welcome to my world friends enjoy
18:31come on you're gonna thank us for this
18:33uh
18:40Excellent.
18:42All right.
18:46First night.
18:51You're such a good thing.
18:54Way to go.
19:06I love cotton candy.
19:09Dude, a corn dog?
19:11What can I say? I'm obsessed with my work.
19:14You know, you guys, I didn't want to take this day off, but I'm so glad you made me do
19:19it.
19:20Maybe you do need to be a little irresponsible once in a while.
19:24Take Coach Halder, for example. Now that man needs to take a mental health day.
19:29I mean, it's just a stupid store.
19:31Why should I stress out over it?
19:33It's only a means to achieve a useful contribution to the community and learn valuable life skills.
19:42You're back on probation, Masterson.
19:44I can explain.
19:45You're lucky I don't can you on the spot. I thought you were management potential all the way to head
19:50coach. I guess I was wrong.
19:54Yeah, maybe you were.
19:58Let's ride the vomit comet again.
20:12That was good work today.
20:13Thanks.
20:14You've got potential, kid.
20:15Where did you pick up that mascara trick?
20:18We professionals have our secrets.
20:20I used to want to be a soap star.
20:27I'm returning these because my friend thinks they make me look too much like you three.
20:32Any objections?
20:35Just a little service would be nice.
20:37Hm-mm-mm-mm-mm, in computers.
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