- 4 hours ago
Adult Best Friends [Full Movie] [Official Release]Full EP - Full
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:05Oh
00:00:46What are you doing?
00:00:48Nothing.
00:00:50Why are you in here?
00:00:52Maddie said the seventh grade boys are sneaking over for a kissing party.
00:00:55I know. I'm so nervous.
00:00:58Then don't do it.
00:00:58I'm calling my mom to pick me up.
00:01:00You can't. Maddie said we all have to kiss them.
00:01:02I don't want to kiss.
00:01:03Wear thong underpants. I hate thong underpants.
00:01:06But I'm worried if I wear normal underpants and no kissing stuff,
00:01:09then Maddie won't invite me to sleep over as anymore.
00:01:14Well, you could sleep over at mine.
00:01:17Tonight?
00:01:19Yeah. I mean, we're not allowed to watch TV, which sucks.
00:01:21But we could do braids.
00:01:23And I have a trundle bed.
00:01:24I love trundle beds.
00:01:26Do you have a best friend?
00:01:29No.
00:01:31You?
00:01:33No.
00:01:35Take me down, down, I don't know where to go.
00:01:38I can't come out today.
00:01:40And Katie's famous.
00:01:42But I don't give a shit.
00:01:43I've tried my best to live within two weeks.
00:01:47That's the best in me.
00:01:49What's wrong with my life?
00:01:51Yeah.
00:01:51So that's the next feature.
00:01:54You are going to be a doctor.
00:01:56I don't want to be a doctor.
00:02:04This is Katie's future.
00:02:07You can marry me to Daniel.
00:02:11Daniel is my boyfriend.
00:02:12I am.
00:02:24The gas tank was empty.
00:02:28It always had that scram.
00:02:31I'm doing my best here
00:02:34But that's not good enough
00:02:37I'll try harder next year
00:02:40Don't call my love
00:02:45Okay, read another post. Give me a hard one.
00:02:47Uh, okay.
00:02:48From Seattle to Savannah, what a long, strange trip it's been.
00:02:53Hashtag van life.
00:02:55Tom Breyer?
00:02:55How did you know that?
00:02:57Because Tom Breyer needs to get a job.
00:02:58Another one. Let me find a good one.
00:02:59Get a good one.
00:03:00Okay.
00:03:03Okay, this one's hard.
00:03:05Okay.
00:03:06Here's to adulting forever with this one.
00:03:08He put a ring on it.
00:03:10Singular exclamation.
00:03:11Sarah Casper.
00:03:11You're cheating.
00:03:12I'm not cheating. I'm that good.
00:03:13She's engaged?
00:03:15She's a child.
00:03:17She's 32 years old.
00:03:20Sarah Casper would throw it all away for, like, some random guy.
00:03:24That was random. They've been dating since college.
00:03:26Do you have any snacks?
00:03:27Do you want to eat dinner?
00:03:29I have peanut butter.
00:03:30And what?
00:03:31A spoon?
00:03:32Oh, my God. Let me make you something.
00:03:34I'll just have sultines when I get home.
00:03:35Oh, my God. No.
00:03:35I'll make you, um, make you a turkey burger.
00:03:38I can put poblanos on top.
00:03:39What's poblanos?
00:03:41Oh, it's a giant Mexican pepper.
00:03:44It's actually our favorite pepper.
00:03:47Second only to the jalapeno.
00:03:49You'll love it. I promise.
00:03:50It's really good.
00:03:51Mm-hmm.
00:03:52I'm fine. Thank you.
00:03:53Well, if you're not hungry, maybe you want a joke that I heard today?
00:03:58It made me think of you instantly.
00:03:59Okay. This is very good.
00:04:01Okay, so there are two pigs in a pit of mud.
00:04:04And the wife pig turns to the husband and says...
00:04:08No, no. The husband says to the wife.
00:04:10You're right. You're right.
00:04:12The husband pig says to the wife,
00:04:14Hey, did you see Farmer Jane?
00:04:16Should we get going?
00:04:17Pretty sure it's nine o'clock, so...
00:04:19Oh, you want to go to that?
00:04:21Yeah.
00:04:22Really?
00:04:22My throat feels kind of weird.
00:04:24I feel like...
00:04:25I don't know.
00:04:25If I got everyone sick, then I...
00:04:27You don't feel warm.
00:04:28No?
00:04:29No, you feel cold.
00:04:29Do you not want to go?
00:04:32Is it crazy to stay here?
00:04:33I mean, we have food here, blankets here.
00:04:36I'm comfortable. You're comfortable.
00:04:37We could watch a movie.
00:04:38Yeah, but hey, if Katie doesn't want to go out, Delaney,
00:04:40I'd love to go out with you.
00:04:43Please don't make me go alone.
00:04:44I'm nervous, and I'll get too fucked up.
00:04:46No, you will not.
00:04:50Like, she doesn't even come out anymore,
00:04:52because she's always with her boyfriend, John.
00:04:56I don't know why I did that.
00:04:56His name is John?
00:04:57John.
00:05:00John, do you think she's okay, right?
00:05:02Mm-hmm.
00:05:08I'm gonna go.
00:05:09I'm gonna go meet her.
00:05:10I don't like him.
00:05:11Is that wrong to say?
00:05:12You know, like, if you don't like your best friend's boyfriend,
00:05:15it's the way he makes her.
00:05:17If that makes sense?
00:05:18Oppie pie!
00:05:21Oh, you know what, though?
00:05:23My contacts are already out.
00:05:26That's like a whole thing.
00:05:29Only here.
00:05:30She moves in with him.
00:05:31Kind of fast, if you ask me.
00:05:33I am.
00:05:33But nobody asked me.
00:05:36I'm gonna go meet her for a little.
00:05:39Okay.
00:05:42John.
00:05:44Yes, he's hot.
00:05:45I get it.
00:05:45I see it.
00:05:46But he's boring.
00:05:48O-C-U-P-I-D!
00:05:50I think she's fine.
00:05:51Mm-hmm.
00:05:53Yeah.
00:05:54I'll come have sex.
00:05:59How do you have the patience?
00:06:01Well, we actually had an agreement
00:06:02that if I set up his Wi-Fi,
00:06:04he promised to wear boxers under his shorts
00:06:06during our PT sessions.
00:06:08Oh, well, that could be worth it.
00:06:09It's a give and a take.
00:06:10But, uh, this looks nice, right?
00:06:13Yeah, I like it.
00:06:13In the shade.
00:06:14It's good.
00:06:15Uh, oh.
00:06:17I suppose I could get you
00:06:18to call her back, maybe?
00:06:20She gets so anxious
00:06:21when she's hungover.
00:06:22Yeah, no, she does.
00:06:23I just, um...
00:06:25I just wanted to ask her.
00:06:26How was it?
00:06:27No, my Uber's now 27 minutes away.
00:06:30Where are you?
00:06:31I answered a 2 a.m. text from this guy.
00:06:34The drugger he got.
00:06:35The more he talked about Julia.
00:06:37Yeah, not next.
00:06:38Just a female friend
00:06:39who he's clearly in love with.
00:06:42Did she hook up?
00:06:43Yes, he asked me to role-play.
00:06:45Uh, wow.
00:06:46Like, be a cheerleader or something?
00:06:48That's...
00:06:48Oh, I wish.
00:06:50More like,
00:06:51we're best friends
00:06:52and I suddenly see him in a new light.
00:06:54Oh, my God.
00:06:55Can I order a pizza to my apartment?
00:06:56What do you want?
00:06:57Ah, that sounds good.
00:06:58No, John and I are doing a picnic.
00:07:00Do you want to come?
00:07:01You know what?
00:07:02No.
00:07:02I'll just try you later.
00:07:04Okay, bye.
00:07:05All right, bye.
00:07:07Well, she's fine,
00:07:09but she met a new guy,
00:07:10and...
00:07:13Oh, my God.
00:07:14It's okay.
00:07:14No, no, no.
00:07:15It's okay.
00:07:16It's okay.
00:07:17As long as I have your undivided attention now.
00:07:20Yeah.
00:07:21Yeah.
00:07:22When I first moved here,
00:07:23it took me a while to get adjusted.
00:07:25Yeah, you were mugged, like,
00:07:27three times that first week.
00:07:28Right, well,
00:07:29I thought everyone needed directions,
00:07:30but then...
00:07:32then I met you,
00:07:33and you actually needed directions.
00:07:35And I'm so,
00:07:37so glad
00:07:39that I walked you
00:07:40into that coffee shop
00:07:41because you have made my life
00:07:42so much better
00:07:44than I ever thought
00:07:45that I deserved.
00:07:48Will you marry me?
00:07:51Yeah.
00:07:52Yeah.
00:07:53Yeah.
00:07:53Yeah.
00:07:56I hate the art Katie left here.
00:07:58It's so gross.
00:07:59It's sentimental.
00:08:00Okay, well,
00:08:00I live here now,
00:08:01and I like actual art.
00:08:02Let me just ask Katie
00:08:03if she wants it
00:08:04before we throw it away.
00:08:05Where is Katie?
00:08:06I feel like she's usually here by now,
00:08:08like,
00:08:08complaining about some ugly house
00:08:10she can't sell.
00:08:11She's doing a picnic with John.
00:08:14Like,
00:08:14eating on the ground?
00:08:15Yeah.
00:08:16I feel so bad for her.
00:08:18You know,
00:08:19it's like she misses the party last night,
00:08:20and now she has to waste
00:08:21her entire Sunday
00:08:22doing a picnic
00:08:23with her boyfriend.
00:08:24Can I say something?
00:08:25I really don't buy John's whole
00:08:27I'm such a nice guy thing.
00:08:29Like,
00:08:29you're a pervert.
00:08:31You literally touch old ladies
00:08:32all day.
00:08:33That's his job.
00:08:34He's a physical therapist
00:08:35for old people.
00:08:36Katie would fall for a pervert.
00:08:39I mean,
00:08:39she's clueless.
00:08:40Remember that time
00:08:41she got you, like,
00:08:42a briefcase filled with old papers
00:08:43for your birthday?
00:08:44Those are my great-grandparents'
00:08:46birth certificates.
00:08:46Why would you want that?
00:08:48She likes thoughtful surprises.
00:08:50She's exactly like my sister.
00:08:52She's nothing like your sister.
00:08:54Mary had one kid,
00:08:55and now she won't shut up
00:08:56about her pelvic floor.
00:08:57Yeah,
00:08:58Mary's the worst.
00:08:58And her baby
00:08:59isn't even cute.
00:09:00I can't imagine
00:09:01having a baby right now.
00:09:02It's actually disgusting
00:09:04to have a baby.
00:09:05Or getting married?
00:09:06Kill me.
00:09:07But we're pretty far from that.
00:09:09We like you and me.
00:09:11No,
00:09:12me and Katie.
00:09:13Delaney,
00:09:13what?
00:09:14You and Katie
00:09:15are on totally different paths.
00:09:17I mean,
00:09:17Katie lives with her boyfriend.
00:09:19They're very serious.
00:09:20And you literally still,
00:09:21like,
00:09:22fuck the first guy
00:09:23who shares a cigarette with you.
00:09:27We love you so much.
00:09:29We love you.
00:09:30Oh,
00:09:30thank you.
00:09:31We love you so much.
00:09:32We cannot wait to celebrate
00:09:33with you guys.
00:09:34No.
00:09:35Bye.
00:09:37I love your family.
00:09:38I love them.
00:09:39Did you see your sister
00:09:39was crying?
00:09:40Yeah,
00:09:40no,
00:09:41it's funny.
00:09:41She's known for months.
00:09:42How did I not find this ring?
00:09:44Oh,
00:09:44the ring was in a box,
00:09:45in a bin,
00:09:46in an air vent,
00:09:47in my office.
00:09:48You would never find it.
00:09:49That was never.
00:09:49And how was Delaney playing it?
00:09:50So cool.
00:09:52Yeah,
00:09:52no,
00:09:52I didn't tell Delaney.
00:09:55What?
00:09:57Oh,
00:09:58well,
00:09:58I figured you wanted to tell her,
00:10:00right?
00:10:00Yeah.
00:10:01Yeah.
00:10:01So Delaney has no idea.
00:10:04No,
00:10:04but we can call her
00:10:06right now,
00:10:06maybe.
00:10:06Uh,
00:10:07yeah.
00:10:07Um,
00:10:08let's do,
00:10:08let's call her later,
00:10:09though,
00:10:09because I think she's probably asleep.
00:10:10No,
00:10:10it's fine.
00:10:11We'll just call her from my phone
00:10:12and it'll be a big surprise,
00:10:13I promise.
00:10:14Yeah.
00:10:16Hey.
00:10:17Hello?
00:10:18You can just leave the pizza at the door
00:10:19and I'll grab it.
00:10:26Does she not have my number safe?
00:10:28No,
00:10:28she does.
00:10:29I think she does.
00:10:31I thought you'd be pretty excited to tell her.
00:10:34I am.
00:10:35I,
00:10:36I really am.
00:10:37I just,
00:10:37I just want to
00:10:39tell her later.
00:10:41Right.
00:10:43I know.
00:10:44Um,
00:10:45I'm not her favorite person.
00:10:47That is not true,
00:10:48Dawn.
00:10:48She loves you.
00:10:49It's just that she has a hard time with change.
00:10:50You know,
00:10:51when she was younger,
00:10:51her parents sold the family minivan
00:10:53and she asked if she could go visit it
00:10:55at its new house.
00:10:57That's really sweet of her
00:10:58to want to check in on it.
00:11:00And then remember when I
00:11:02told her I was moving out?
00:11:04She didn't talk to me for like two weeks.
00:11:07Mm-hmm.
00:11:08And whenever I passed her door,
00:11:09she'd be muttering,
00:11:10Benedict Arnold.
00:11:11Right,
00:11:12but,
00:11:12but this,
00:11:13this is a good change.
00:11:14I know,
00:11:15and I'm so excited
00:11:16and I love you so much
00:11:17and I,
00:11:18and I cannot wait
00:11:19to get married.
00:11:21But I,
00:11:22I just want to make sure I tell her
00:11:23in the,
00:11:24just in the right way for her.
00:11:27Okay.
00:11:29Okay.
00:11:30So let's parking lot
00:11:31the holiday campaign
00:11:32and dig into the meat and taters
00:11:34of our spring into content campaign.
00:11:36So this campaign is,
00:11:38it's going to be a big lift.
00:11:39So we really need to stop the scroll.
00:11:41We need some big ideas.
00:11:43We need some blue sky ideas.
00:11:45And like,
00:11:45we just like really need everybody on this.
00:11:47But I was kind of thinking Delaney,
00:11:50maybe you could run a point for us.
00:11:53I don't,
00:11:53I don't really have the bandwidth
00:11:54for that right now.
00:11:56I copy that.
00:11:56Luca,
00:11:57it's all yours.
00:11:59Uh,
00:12:01Um,
00:12:01wow.
00:12:01Yeah,
00:12:02that's,
00:12:02that is just,
00:12:03that's amazing.
00:12:04I do just want to flag
00:12:05that I'm working overtime
00:12:07on two major campaigns right now
00:12:08since Delaney didn't have the bandwidth
00:12:10last month.
00:12:11So it's just kind of all
00:12:12falling on my shoulders.
00:12:13So that's,
00:12:13that's totally fine.
00:12:14I just do just want to flag that.
00:12:16No,
00:12:16and thank you for flagging that.
00:12:18Delaney,
00:12:19do you think you could maybe like
00:12:20carve out some time
00:12:21to kind of tag team it?
00:12:24Yeah,
00:12:24I,
00:12:24I got a flag that I'm spread
00:12:26pretty thin over here.
00:12:28What are you working on,
00:12:29Delaney?
00:12:30Putting out fires.
00:12:31What kind of fires?
00:12:32Big ones with employees
00:12:34that you don't know.
00:12:35Right,
00:12:35and is that why
00:12:35your camera's always off?
00:12:37No,
00:12:38my,
00:12:38my camera's off,
00:12:39Luca,
00:12:39because it's allowed to be off.
00:12:40Okay,
00:12:41guys,
00:12:41I should finish up
00:12:42with a round of peaks and valleys.
00:12:44So my valley
00:12:45was missing
00:12:46last week's happy hour.
00:12:48Never has someone
00:12:48been so missed.
00:12:49But my peak
00:12:50is that it's on the books
00:12:51for next week.
00:12:52Popcorn to Delaney.
00:12:53I guess my
00:12:56valley
00:12:57was editing
00:12:58Luca's Q4 pitch
00:12:59and then my peak
00:13:01was
00:13:01it's done now.
00:13:03Popcorn to Alex.
00:13:05You know,
00:13:08my valley
00:13:09was that Ryan
00:13:11and I hit a speed bump.
00:13:13Wow.
00:13:13So he,
00:13:14he wants to open up
00:13:15the relationship
00:13:16and I just,
00:13:17I don't think that I have
00:13:18the sexual confidence
00:13:19to withstand it.
00:13:21So we're taking some time
00:13:22apart to kind of
00:13:23ideate on next steps.
00:13:25But Alex,
00:13:26are you okay?
00:13:27How are you feeling?
00:13:29You know,
00:13:30like I was upset.
00:13:31Obviously,
00:13:32I was really upset
00:13:33for a beat.
00:13:33But then I had a one-on-one
00:13:34with my best friend.
00:13:35You know,
00:13:35we went out,
00:13:36we got some drinks,
00:13:37we blew off steam,
00:13:38just like old times,
00:13:39just the two of us
00:13:40and that like really,
00:13:41really helped.
00:13:42Best friends just get it?
00:13:44Oh,
00:13:44we're so aligned
00:13:45on that,
00:13:46Luca.
00:13:48So what was dad's reaction?
00:13:50We FaceTimed him quickly.
00:13:51Yeah,
00:13:52he was really happy
00:13:53for us.
00:13:53Yeah.
00:13:54Aw.
00:13:54Yeah.
00:13:56And I mean,
00:13:57not that happy.
00:13:57Oh.
00:13:59Come on.
00:13:59He was really excited,
00:14:00it seemed.
00:14:01Yeah,
00:14:02or you need to call him
00:14:02after five.
00:14:04Speaking of alcoholics,
00:14:05how did Delaney
00:14:06take the news?
00:14:07Um,
00:14:08she was happy.
00:14:10Fine.
00:14:10Good.
00:14:10Delaney doesn't know yet.
00:14:12Katie wanted to tell her
00:14:13in her own way
00:14:14before we told anybody else.
00:14:15That is so classic.
00:14:17I,
00:14:17do you know that Delaney
00:14:18knew that our parents
00:14:19were getting divorced
00:14:20before I did?
00:14:21Is that true?
00:14:22Yeah.
00:14:23I mean,
00:14:23she's my best friend,
00:14:25so.
00:14:27I think you'd get it
00:14:28if you had a best friend.
00:14:29Well,
00:14:30my wife is my best friend,
00:14:31so,
00:14:31Daria,
00:14:31who's your best friend?
00:14:33No,
00:14:33I'd rather not say.
00:14:35We're each other's best friends.
00:14:36Yeah.
00:14:37Yeah.
00:14:38Like normal adults.
00:14:40Delaney loves Katie.
00:14:42She'll be really happy
00:14:43once we tell her own story.
00:14:44John,
00:14:44have you ever heard
00:14:45of expectation
00:14:46recalibration therapy?
00:14:47I was reading
00:14:48an article about it,
00:14:49and I think...
00:14:49Excuse me,
00:14:49what article?
00:14:51It's an article.
00:14:52Where was this article?
00:14:54In the journals
00:14:55for doctors.
00:14:56Henry,
00:14:58have you been listening again
00:14:59to my sessions
00:15:00with my patients?
00:15:01Anyway,
00:15:01expectation recalibration
00:15:02is basically a therapy
00:15:03where you work to accept
00:15:04that someone will never change,
00:15:06right?
00:15:06Like,
00:15:07they suck,
00:15:07like,
00:15:08medically.
00:15:09And in your case,
00:15:09that's Delaney,
00:15:10and in our case,
00:15:11it's our dad.
00:15:11So,
00:15:12I mean,
00:15:12Daria confirmed
00:15:13that he's a narcissist.
00:15:14I have never treated
00:15:15your father,
00:15:16and I've never made
00:15:17any medical claims
00:15:18about him.
00:15:18Excuse me.
00:15:19But you have.
00:15:20I mean,
00:15:20we've talked about him.
00:15:20What are you talking about?
00:15:21You know.
00:15:22What are you...
00:15:23I sent him 20 of my poems
00:15:24in the past year.
00:15:2620.
00:15:27And he never once told me
00:15:29that I was talented.
00:15:30Right?
00:15:32I mean,
00:15:32how hard is it
00:15:33to reply with a compliment?
00:15:34How hard is it to,
00:15:35like,
00:15:36you know,
00:15:36just say,
00:15:37like,
00:15:37a simple Henry,
00:15:37you are a brilliant artist,
00:15:39right?
00:15:39And it is a crime
00:15:40that you have to edit
00:15:41other people's
00:15:42much weaker novels
00:15:43instead of traveling the world
00:15:45on your own book tour,
00:15:46right?
00:15:46He is selfish, Katie,
00:15:48and so is Delaney.
00:15:49Yeah,
00:15:49I hear you.
00:15:50Um,
00:15:51I don't think Delaney's selfish.
00:15:53I think she has a hard time
00:15:54with change.
00:15:55Daria was treating
00:15:55our neighbor the other day.
00:15:57He would know.
00:15:57He's a total freak, Daria.
00:15:58I mean,
00:15:59he gets off on lizards.
00:16:00Oh, my God.
00:16:00Did he say blizzards
00:16:02or it was lizards?
00:16:03It was lizards.
00:16:04It was lizards.
00:16:04He gets off on lizards
00:16:05and his wife wants to divorce him,
00:16:07clearly,
00:16:08and Daria said something
00:16:10that I think applies here.
00:16:12Tell them the thing
00:16:13about the change.
00:16:15Oh, well, you know,
00:16:17people's nerves about change,
00:16:19they can be calmed
00:16:20by the familiar.
00:16:21So,
00:16:22you take them
00:16:23to a comfortable environment
00:16:24and you break the news.
00:16:26It's kind of like
00:16:27you take your kids
00:16:28to their favorite ice cream shop
00:16:30and tell them
00:16:30you're getting a divorce.
00:16:31I mean,
00:16:32I think that's something
00:16:32that you should consider
00:16:33with Delaney.
00:16:34I mean,
00:16:34she's about as mature
00:16:35as an eight-year-old,
00:16:36so I've seen her
00:16:38hork down a pint
00:16:39of Chubby Hubby
00:16:39in one sitting,
00:16:40so we know
00:16:40she likes ice cream.
00:16:44Yeah.
00:16:47That's not a real basketball.
00:16:49Third from the left is cake.
00:16:50You know,
00:16:51I decided I don't even want cake
00:16:52at my birthday this year.
00:16:53I actually think
00:16:54it's really weird
00:16:55to, like,
00:16:55bring out food
00:16:56and then make people eat it.
00:16:57Did you find a bar yet?
00:16:59I think I'm gonna do it here.
00:17:00I'm going for
00:17:01a very specific aesthetic,
00:17:02so if you could not invite...
00:17:03Ah, no!
00:17:05Thought you'd be asleep.
00:17:08Katie,
00:17:09I didn't know
00:17:10you still had a key.
00:17:11Uh, Delaney said
00:17:12I could keep one
00:17:12for emergencies.
00:17:13What's the emergency?
00:17:15Well, this time
00:17:16it's not so much
00:17:16an emergency,
00:17:17really,
00:17:18as it is, um,
00:17:20a surprise
00:17:21for my best friend.
00:17:23Oh, man,
00:17:23I actually had
00:17:24this whole thing planned
00:17:25that I was gonna sneak in
00:17:25and, like,
00:17:26put clues around the apartment,
00:17:27but, okay, whatever.
00:17:28Since you're awake,
00:17:28I'll just show you now.
00:17:33What the fuck is that?
00:17:35I planned us
00:17:36a mini beach vacation.
00:17:39You don't seem excited.
00:17:40What's there to be
00:17:41excited about, Katie?
00:17:42It's the beach.
00:17:43I'm excited.
00:17:44I really am.
00:17:45Um,
00:17:46and that poster is,
00:17:47that's your most
00:17:48thoughtful gift yet.
00:17:48You see the umbrella?
00:17:49I see the umbrella.
00:17:51You know these trips
00:17:52can be kind of weird for me.
00:17:54Is John at least
00:17:55bringing a friend?
00:17:55No, no,
00:17:56John's not coming.
00:17:58Why?
00:17:58Yeah, why?
00:18:00No reason.
00:18:01I just thought
00:18:02it would be great
00:18:03for the two of us
00:18:04to go on a trip,
00:18:05connect,
00:18:06have some quality time.
00:18:07Like old times?
00:18:08Yes, yes.
00:18:10Just like old times.
00:18:13Ew.
00:18:28Kissing me once.
00:18:31Kissing me twice.
00:18:34Your sugar and spice.
00:18:37And everything nice.
00:18:39Girl, love me forever
00:18:42and I'll be true
00:18:49to you, girl.
00:18:52All right.
00:18:53There we go.
00:18:53Nice.
00:18:54We're here.
00:18:55What time is check-in
00:18:57at the Pelican Palace?
00:18:58Surprise.
00:18:59We aren't staying
00:19:00at the Pelican Palace.
00:19:01What?
00:19:02Yeah, I got us a,
00:19:03I got us a rental house,
00:19:05actually, on Wonder Weekend.
00:19:07Wonder Weekend rentals
00:19:07kind of creeped me out.
00:19:09I don't like the idea
00:19:10of using other people's
00:19:10kitchen appliances.
00:19:11But you're okay sleeping
00:19:12in a bed or a bunch
00:19:13of high schoolers
00:19:14just rounded the bases?
00:19:15But the Pelican Palace
00:19:16is where all the parties
00:19:17end up.
00:19:17I know.
00:19:18Imagine that noise
00:19:19when you sleep
00:19:20a frickin' wink.
00:19:22Is there a bar?
00:19:25At the rental house?
00:19:27Is it a shared space
00:19:28or private?
00:19:29Private.
00:19:31And there's a lockbox
00:19:32so we don't even have
00:19:35to meet the guy.
00:19:37You found it.
00:19:38Ah.
00:19:40Gosh, GPS can be
00:19:41a little wonky here
00:19:41so, so glad you guys
00:19:43figured it out.
00:19:43How we doing?
00:19:45Are you, uh,
00:19:48are you, uh, Douglas?
00:19:50Are you, uh,
00:19:51my fifth grade teacher?
00:19:53Just Dougie's fine.
00:19:54Yeah.
00:19:54I just asked because
00:19:55the listing had said
00:19:56that there was a lockbox
00:19:58so I didn't think
00:19:58we'd get to meet.
00:19:59Here she is.
00:20:01Yeah.
00:20:01I love to walk everyone
00:20:02through the space first
00:20:03only because
00:20:05it's a really important
00:20:06place to me.
00:20:06It was my mom's.
00:20:08She, uh, she died here.
00:20:11Oh, gosh, no.
00:20:13Not in the front yard.
00:20:14Oh.
00:20:15She died inside.
00:20:17Katie, right?
00:20:18So you must be Delaney.
00:20:20Mm-hmm.
00:20:20Yeah.
00:20:20I love that name.
00:20:21Family name?
00:20:22It was my grandfather's.
00:20:23Oh, my gosh.
00:20:24I was named after
00:20:25my mom's brother.
00:20:26Who we don't talk to anymore.
00:20:28He's, uh,
00:20:29he's a pedophile, so.
00:20:31Oh, I'm sorry.
00:20:32Oh, no, no, no.
00:20:32He was always
00:20:34cool with me.
00:20:35Yeah.
00:20:36But, uh,
00:20:36called a lot, you know,
00:20:38when he was doing time.
00:20:39Yeah.
00:20:39I guess inmates are, like,
00:20:40really hard on
00:20:41child predators.
00:20:42I didn't mind
00:20:43saying hi then,
00:20:44but once he got out
00:20:44and started coming here
00:20:45unannounced,
00:20:46oh, my gosh,
00:20:47I keep talking and talking.
00:20:49You guys probably
00:20:50just want to see inside, right?
00:20:51Pretty cute, huh?
00:20:52I love it.
00:20:54Uh, yeah.
00:20:55Mom left the place
00:20:56to meet my sister,
00:20:57but Lauren has a family now,
00:20:59so she let me
00:20:59keep it all to myself.
00:21:00Ah, score.
00:21:01Yeah.
00:21:02Oh, all the art
00:21:03on the wall
00:21:03is for sale.
00:21:04Oh.
00:21:07Oh.
00:21:08What little munchkin
00:21:09did these?
00:21:10I am an artist.
00:21:12Yeah, well,
00:21:13technically my day job
00:21:14is medical sales,
00:21:15but I've been
00:21:16working my tush off and...
00:21:17Is there a Wi-Fi password?
00:21:19Uh, yeah.
00:21:20It was in the
00:21:21welcome pamphlet
00:21:22that I sent over.
00:21:24Because guests
00:21:25are really supposed
00:21:25to read the pamphlet
00:21:26before they check in,
00:21:28so...
00:21:28Oh.
00:21:28But it's okay.
00:21:29I have a spare
00:21:31set of rules
00:21:32right here.
00:21:33Oh, perfect.
00:21:34Oh, I also threw in
00:21:35my favorite local spots.
00:21:36You girls hot dog fans?
00:21:37Dingo's dogs.
00:21:38Yeah.
00:21:39Yeah.
00:21:39Um, we know it.
00:21:40We used to come here
00:21:40when you were little.
00:21:41Fun.
00:21:42Yeah.
00:21:42Sisters?
00:21:43Best friends.
00:21:44I love best friends.
00:21:46Any big plans
00:21:46for best friends night?
00:21:48Um, I think we'll probably
00:21:51hang here
00:21:51and make a cheese plate.
00:21:53You get plenty
00:21:54of cheese at home.
00:21:56Ugh.
00:21:56I thought we could go
00:21:57to a bar.
00:21:58I mean, I brought a lot
00:22:00of orange wine
00:22:00for us to drink here.
00:22:01Oh!
00:22:02That's a no.
00:22:04What is?
00:22:05Uh, no alcohol
00:22:06on the premises.
00:22:07That's ridiculous.
00:22:09Um, what she means
00:22:10is we were really
00:22:11just gonna have
00:22:12a glass or two?
00:22:13Yeah, no exception
00:22:14to the rules.
00:22:14Was it just a quick
00:22:16scam of a welcome email?
00:22:18Because no shoes
00:22:19is also a big one.
00:22:21I can't sleep
00:22:22with the sound
00:22:23of stomping.
00:22:24I thought this was
00:22:25a private space.
00:22:26Yeah.
00:22:26The upstairs
00:22:27is your private domain.
00:22:29I hang my hat
00:22:30in the subterranean domicile.
00:22:33I live in the basement.
00:22:39What are you doing?
00:22:40The head of file
00:22:41has this address.
00:22:42Okay, well,
00:22:43it's a good thing
00:22:43we're adults.
00:22:44I look young.
00:22:47So what happens
00:22:48when you stray
00:22:48from places
00:22:49you know and love?
00:22:49Your mom got staff
00:22:50at the Pelican Palace.
00:22:52The Pelican Palace
00:22:52is fun.
00:22:53They keep beers
00:22:54in the ice machine.
00:22:55You prefer dirty ice?
00:22:56Over a literal deathbed?
00:22:57Yeah.
00:22:58Okay, I put a lot
00:22:59of effort into planning
00:23:00this trip
00:23:00and I would like
00:23:01if we could at least
00:23:02relax and try
00:23:03to connect,
00:23:04enjoy ourselves,
00:23:05appreciate where we are.
00:23:07Ouch.
00:23:12Cameras?
00:23:13What the hell?
00:23:14What?
00:23:15They're where I work
00:23:15at Urban Outfitters?
00:23:16Alright, those cameras
00:23:17aren't even on.
00:23:18People just see them
00:23:19and are less likely
00:23:20to steal.
00:23:21Do you see
00:23:22any ironic
00:23:23coffee table books
00:23:23for sale here?
00:23:24Because I don't.
00:23:26Dougie's boarding
00:23:26off shoplifters.
00:23:27He's watching us
00:23:28get his rocks off.
00:23:29He's not camped out
00:23:30in front of the monitor
00:23:30with his hands
00:23:31down his pants.
00:23:32He's nice.
00:23:35No, no.
00:23:37I'm not staying here
00:23:37all night
00:23:38and being one of
00:23:38Dougie's cheese-eating
00:23:39cam girls, okay?
00:23:40I'm going to a bar.
00:23:42All night at a bar?
00:23:43Yeah.
00:23:44Shh, shh.
00:23:45Thing is, though,
00:23:46if it's loud,
00:23:48we won't really
00:23:48be able to talk.
00:23:50We talk all day.
00:23:54I know.
00:23:54That's a good point.
00:23:57Yeah, let's go to a bar.
00:24:01Man,
00:24:02this place
00:24:02has really changed.
00:24:04It used to get packed.
00:24:06I saw this pottery
00:24:06place in town
00:24:07and they have a morning
00:24:08class that teaches you
00:24:09how to make little
00:24:09bowls for your keys.
00:24:10I kind of was hoping
00:24:11we'd sleep in.
00:24:11Yeah, it's not till 7.
00:24:14Okay.
00:24:15Cheers to this weekend.
00:24:16Thank you for planning it.
00:24:17Um,
00:24:19as you know,
00:24:19we've had so many
00:24:20great memories here
00:24:21as friends
00:24:22and we've crossed
00:24:22so many milestones
00:24:23together
00:24:24and I thought
00:24:25it would be
00:24:25the perfect place
00:24:26to come
00:24:27to cross
00:24:28one more
00:24:28and I think
00:24:29that it's the most
00:24:30important thing
00:24:31we do
00:24:31if we are able
00:24:32to flourish together
00:24:34like two roses,
00:24:35two best friend,
00:24:36I guess,
00:24:37roses,
00:24:37who, um...
00:24:39Uh, can I get
00:24:40a beer, please?
00:24:40Yeah.
00:24:41That guy?
00:24:42Real hot.
00:24:42Who?
00:24:43The helmet guy.
00:24:44Can I do double whiskey?
00:24:46Uh, okay.
00:24:47Not why we're here.
00:24:48Um, okay.
00:24:49So I was saying,
00:24:49we have crossed
00:24:51so many milestones
00:24:52together here as friends.
00:24:53He looks like
00:24:53Dennis Fuller.
00:24:55Oh, Dennis Fuller.
00:24:56Another loser.
00:24:56Should we go talk to him?
00:24:58I'm in the middle
00:24:59of saying something,
00:25:00okay?
00:25:03Um...
00:25:06You gonna pick that up?
00:25:07I'm gonna call him back.
00:25:12Uh, I'm gonna be quick.
00:25:14Don't move.
00:25:20Sorry.
00:25:21Uh, had to get
00:25:21to a quiet place.
00:25:22Delaney dragged me
00:25:23to a bar.
00:25:24You're not celebrating?
00:25:26Celebrating?
00:25:26The proposal.
00:25:29Katie?
00:25:29Uh, yeah.
00:25:30Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:25:31It cut out for a sec.
00:25:32Um, not yet.
00:25:34You said that
00:25:35you would tell her
00:25:35by tonight.
00:25:36No, no, I know.
00:25:37I was just about to
00:25:38when you called.
00:25:38Well, Daria sent over
00:25:40some invitation samples
00:25:41and she said we should
00:25:42pick one by next week.
00:25:44Okay, yeah, sounds good.
00:25:45I'll send you some photos
00:25:46and then you can decide
00:25:47or I can decide
00:25:49to send me photos on the back.
00:25:51Uh, whichever.
00:25:52Okay.
00:25:52I'll catch you later.
00:25:54Love you.
00:25:54Bye.
00:25:58Checking in?
00:25:59All right.
00:25:59We gotta check in.
00:26:01I'm the social chair
00:26:01for Sigma Nu.
00:26:02So I got to plan
00:26:03this bachelor party
00:26:04for my almost bro-in-law.
00:26:06And I always go big.
00:26:07Last month,
00:26:07we had a naughty nuns
00:26:09and a frisky friars party.
00:26:11Friars are like
00:26:11bald priests.
00:26:12Tell me, what do you do?
00:26:13Uh, finance.
00:26:15Okay, humble.
00:26:17Do you follow crypto?
00:26:18Because he created Apex Coin.
00:26:21Uh, GQ did vote
00:26:22at one of their
00:26:22up-and-coming coins
00:26:23of the year this year,
00:26:24but it's not a big deal.
00:26:25Oh, my God.
00:26:26Anybody can make
00:26:26this low-iddy-b coin.
00:26:28Nobody's...
00:26:29Oh, so sorry.
00:26:30Sorry.
00:26:30Hi.
00:26:30Hey.
00:26:31Um, I'm Katie.
00:26:32Hey.
00:26:32Kaylee, oh, my God.
00:26:34You look exactly
00:26:35like my twins.
00:26:36Look at this.
00:26:39Is Apex Coin
00:26:40funding any strippers
00:26:41this weekend?
00:26:41I don't pay
00:26:42for intimate experiences.
00:26:44I do.
00:26:44I wanted one real bad.
00:26:46I found one online
00:26:47that's so mean to you.
00:26:48Sorry about him.
00:26:50The legend himself.
00:26:51It's Charlie.
00:26:53Delaney.
00:26:54Katie.
00:26:54Nice to meet you.
00:26:55Katie.
00:26:56Again.
00:26:57Do you think
00:26:57it was a bad idea
00:26:58to have a college junior
00:26:59playing my classroom party?
00:27:00Uh, we're actually
00:27:01probably gonna head out.
00:27:05Oh, would you actually
00:27:06mind opening these for us?
00:27:07All good.
00:27:08I got it.
00:27:08Oh, no.
00:27:09P-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-
00:27:10Party flops.
00:27:12Ha.
00:27:13Yeah.
00:27:14You didn't want
00:27:14to use your party flop?
00:27:16You.
00:27:18One beer and we go.
00:27:21One beer and we go.
00:27:40Let's go.
00:27:40Yeah, let's fucking go.
00:27:43I'm gonna fire up
00:27:43some tunes.
00:27:44P-p-p-p-p-p-
00:27:48That smells fucking awful.
00:27:50Oh, my God.
00:27:51That smells so bad.
00:27:52Wait.
00:27:52I didn't smell anything.
00:27:53I didn't...
00:27:54What's it smell like?
00:27:55Oh.
00:27:57Yo.
00:27:59Did anybody see
00:27:59a dog walk through here?
00:28:03Bottle opener
00:28:04on the bottom of a shoe?
00:28:05Stop smiling.
00:28:06Stop.
00:28:08And then I don't know
00:28:08what kind of moron
00:28:09walks through dog shit
00:28:10and has no idea.
00:28:11You didn't even know
00:28:11how to get strippers
00:28:12for a bachelor party.
00:28:13Well, not all guys
00:28:14like strippers.
00:28:14That's what I get.
00:28:15Yeah, totally.
00:28:16John really doesn't.
00:28:17Okay.
00:28:18John actually doesn't
00:28:19because he has a sister.
00:28:20He does?
00:28:21You've hung out
00:28:22with her like three times.
00:28:23All right.
00:28:26Will you open the door?
00:28:30You have the key.
00:28:31You have the key.
00:28:32No.
00:28:33I have the key?
00:28:34You wanted to carry it.
00:28:36I have the key.
00:28:38I don't have the key.
00:28:41Where'd it go?
00:28:41It might have fallen
00:28:42out of my pocket.
00:28:43Why can't you carry a purse?
00:28:44I'm sorry.
00:28:45I need to brush my teeth.
00:28:46We can go back to the bar
00:28:47and look for them?
00:28:47No.
00:28:49You know what we have to do?
00:28:51No.
00:28:52Yeah.
00:28:54Sorry again, doggy.
00:28:56Oh, that's fine.
00:28:56I was only asleep for an hour.
00:28:57Okay, good.
00:28:58Oh, sorry.
00:29:00Just pop those off for me.
00:29:02Oh.
00:29:02Yeah.
00:29:03Sorry.
00:29:03Just the rules.
00:29:07I just forgot.
00:29:08That's fine.
00:29:09I love those flats.
00:29:14Oh, sorry.
00:29:18Before you go back
00:29:19down to the basement,
00:29:20what's the deal
00:29:21with the cameras?
00:29:22Oh, my gosh.
00:29:23I had to up my security
00:29:24after a nightmare renter.
00:29:26Ever heard of a home birth?
00:29:30But the cameras
00:29:31don't actually record.
00:29:32Oh, no.
00:29:33They're the real deal.
00:29:34Yeah.
00:29:35No audio, of course,
00:29:36because you need
00:29:36a permit for that
00:29:37and no cameras
00:29:39in the bedrooms
00:29:40or bathrooms.
00:29:41This was all in the...
00:29:42In the welcome email.
00:29:43Yeah.
00:29:44Was it just a quick skim?
00:29:45Because we can pop a squat
00:29:47and look things over
00:29:48if you want.
00:29:48Oh, no.
00:29:49We should not
00:29:49pop any squats.
00:29:50We'd like to go to bed
00:29:52and we'd like to watch TV
00:29:54alone.
00:29:55Do you guys know
00:29:56how to work the Roku?
00:29:56Yes.
00:29:57Yes.
00:29:58I saw that in the binder.
00:30:00She saw the...
00:30:01I cracked myself up.
00:30:04I don't have a Roku.
00:30:05It was a trick question.
00:30:07You fell right into my trap.
00:30:10I'm really gonna need you
00:30:11to do a refresher
00:30:11of the rules
00:30:12after I leave.
00:30:13Okay?
00:30:15Gonna need a verbal K
00:30:16from both of you.
00:30:18K.
00:30:22Hmm?
00:30:24K.
00:30:26And while I'm at it,
00:30:27why don't I
00:30:28throw us all
00:30:28in a group text?
00:30:29Just in case of emergencies.
00:30:31Katie,
00:30:32I have your digits,
00:30:33but, um...
00:30:34Delaney?
00:30:36Delaney?
00:30:58What time is it?
00:30:59It's early.
00:31:02Um...
00:31:02It's really early.
00:31:03Go back to bed.
00:31:04Hmm.
00:31:10I'm gonna, uh...
00:31:12I'm gonna go get us coffees.
00:31:15Hmm.
00:31:35It's a matter of privacy, Otto.
00:31:36I think it's a little weird
00:31:37for your friend's wife
00:31:38to post something
00:31:39before I,
00:31:40the bride,
00:31:41have posted anything,
00:31:42you know?
00:31:43No, I mean...
00:31:43But you told Delaney, right?
00:31:45Yes, yes, I...
00:31:47I told her we were engaged.
00:31:49I...
00:31:49Look, I will ask them
00:31:50to take it down.
00:31:51Okay.
00:31:51Yeah, I just don't want it up there.
00:31:53Okay.
00:31:54I gotta go.
00:31:55Yeah.
00:31:56All right, I love you.
00:31:57Bye.
00:31:58Hey.
00:32:00Hi.
00:32:01Hi.
00:32:02I almost didn't recognize you
00:32:04without the dog shit on your cat.
00:32:05Oh.
00:32:07That's funny.
00:32:08Too soon.
00:32:10I, um...
00:32:11Sorry, I overheard you on the phone.
00:32:12I didn't realize you were a bride.
00:32:15Yeah.
00:32:16Yeah.
00:32:17Congratulations.
00:32:20It's, um...
00:32:21It's really recent.
00:32:22Um, and I'm...
00:32:24I'm really, really excited.
00:32:26I just need to figure out, um...
00:32:28I haven't told, uh, my best friend yet,
00:32:31uh, Delaney, who you met last night.
00:32:33So I just need to, you know,
00:32:34figure stuff out, so...
00:32:36What, she doesn't like him?
00:32:37Uh, you know, I mean,
00:32:38she's not the most emotive person,
00:32:40so it can be...
00:32:41It can be...
00:32:42It was hard to tell in the beginning,
00:32:43but yeah, she likes him.
00:32:45She does.
00:32:46Yeah, she does like him.
00:32:47Yeah.
00:32:47Now, say it one more time,
00:32:48but I want you to really mean it.
00:32:49She...
00:32:49She does like him, so...
00:32:52Look, a few of my friends
00:32:54weren't that happy for me
00:32:55when I got engaged.
00:32:56I think they're just freaked out
00:32:58that they think your fiancé
00:32:59is gonna hijack your life
00:33:00and they're never gonna see you again.
00:33:01I know, which is crazy.
00:33:02One of them just straight up
00:33:04stopped inviting me places
00:33:05because he said
00:33:06I don't know how to hang anymore.
00:33:08Not that that's gonna happen to you.
00:33:10I think...
00:33:10No.
00:33:11No, I know.
00:33:13Um...
00:33:14Yeah.
00:33:14Okay.
00:33:15Good luck with, you know,
00:33:17enjoy your coffee.
00:33:18Yeah.
00:33:19Bye.
00:33:27You're up.
00:33:28What time is it?
00:33:29Time to get up.
00:33:30Cold brew?
00:33:31There you go.
00:33:33It's beautiful out, by the way.
00:33:34Where's my phone?
00:33:35Our phones are tucked away safely
00:33:37in the kitchen drawer.
00:33:39Why?
00:33:40Because today is about having fun
00:33:42without distractions.
00:33:44We're gonna float around
00:33:45untethered to technology
00:33:46just like when we were little.
00:33:47What happened to pottery?
00:33:49We're not going to pottery.
00:33:51We're gonna be wild,
00:33:52crazy,
00:33:53spontaneous.
00:33:54We are going off the grid.
00:33:56All right.
00:33:56Good, good, good, good, good, good.
00:33:59You think there's a left bat there?
00:34:00I was following you.
00:34:02I'm following you.
00:34:03Why?
00:34:03I'm left-brained.
00:34:05No, I'm left-brained.
00:34:06Which one's the one
00:34:07that's bad at math?
00:34:08Because you're that one.
00:34:09That's very rude.
00:34:10You know, what's rude is
00:34:11those are my sneakers
00:34:12and you're wearing them
00:34:13and you didn't ask me.
00:34:14Katie?
00:34:15Gwen!
00:34:16Oh, my God, hi.
00:34:17And Delaney.
00:34:19Hey, Gwen.
00:34:20Oh, my God, wow.
00:34:21You two, hanging out.
00:34:23It's like stepping back
00:34:24into 2008 again.
00:34:27I love it.
00:34:31You have a baby.
00:34:33Congratulations.
00:34:34Yeah, Max, but she's a girl.
00:34:36She's amazing.
00:34:37She's such a great eater.
00:34:38She sleeps 8 to 8.
00:34:39Wow, that's awesome.
00:34:40Are you here for the weekend?
00:34:41Oh, no, my partner and I,
00:34:42we live here full-time.
00:34:43Yeah, we moved away from the city,
00:34:44which was super scary,
00:34:45but, you know, I love it.
00:34:46Wait, did I say that you got married?
00:34:48Uh, no, no.
00:34:50Oh, you know what?
00:34:51I'm thinking about the other Katie
00:34:52in your grade.
00:34:53Yeah, the other Katie,
00:34:54she had her wedding
00:34:55featured on Nautical Nuptials.
00:34:56Amazing.
00:34:57Wow.
00:34:59Well, what are you up to today?
00:35:00We're probably just going to grab
00:35:02some food at the deli,
00:35:03actually, in town.
00:35:04Oh, my God, there.
00:35:06Lox is what got me
00:35:07through my second trimester.
00:35:08Just the craziest cravings
00:35:10with this little one,
00:35:10you know, pistachios,
00:35:11fish, cottage cheese,
00:35:13butt stuff, whatever.
00:35:14You name it, I had it.
00:35:15Oh, crazy.
00:35:16IT alert, but we're actually
00:35:17having a BBQ at mine today.
00:35:19You should come.
00:35:20Is it a party?
00:35:21It's a BBQ.
00:35:22Yeah.
00:35:23Come.
00:35:30Sorry, we just,
00:35:31we get it a little crazy
00:35:33on the weekends.
00:35:34Well, I mean,
00:35:35as, you know,
00:35:36crazy as we can
00:35:36with a little one.
00:35:38Oh.
00:35:39Yeah.
00:35:40Um, so,
00:35:41what is it you do, Theo?
00:35:43I'm a filmmaker.
00:35:45Yeah, um, commercials.
00:35:47Yeah, he just got back
00:35:48from Tokyo.
00:35:49Oh, wow.
00:35:50You know, I hear
00:35:51Japan's amazing.
00:35:52What commercial
00:35:53were you shooting?
00:35:53Uh, just nothing.
00:35:56Sweetie,
00:35:57just don't tell them.
00:35:58Oh, he's being so modest.
00:36:00He's being modest.
00:36:01He was shooting
00:36:02a watch commercial
00:36:03with Brad Pitt
00:36:04and Natalie Portman.
00:36:06Oh, wow.
00:36:08Uh, that's,
00:36:08that's so cool.
00:36:09did you get to meet them the celebrities yeah that's not really why i do it though
00:36:17no of course not yeah oh hello oh oh hi oh no careful she she can bite oh she does
00:36:26uh well yeah i guess she really likes you i've never seen her do that with anyone but me
00:36:33why don't you why don't you come here come on come on nerd i think um yeah i think it's
00:36:42your turn
00:36:43daddy you know i'm pretty sure i read in the book that it's better to let him cry it out
00:36:47all right
00:36:47no that's for um when we're putting her to sleep babe yes well and nappies no no not just nappies
00:36:53oh no she wants to come on yeah i want to ah yeah okay oh we're gonna look after the
00:37:01child as well
00:37:02come on yeah just excuse me okay okay i'm very worried about the dog i'm sorry okay i felt bad
00:37:14i saw them wandering the neighborhood looking longingly at all these families what were they
00:37:18stories invite strangers in this house first it was the kitten in the garage now it's these spinsters
00:37:25from your past maybe we have a child we do wow i just forgot about the 46 hours of labor
00:37:33and my torn
00:37:34anus oh the chatty one is hiding something and i know that you don't care but the new keeps on
00:37:39fiddling with noodle i want them gone i want my life back
00:37:48ladies ladies i couldn't find any weed but some ketamine
00:37:52fuck
00:38:00oh it hit my spine
00:38:04oh my god since when is petting a dog weird it's not like i was only petting tail
00:38:10i'm serious okay well i'm not hiding anything they're just freaking nuts whatever that's the
00:38:16most excitement they've seen in months so yeah their partner just shot a commercial with brad
00:38:20pit but i hear you yeah they clearly hate each other though hate each other maybe they're a little
00:38:25tired she had a baby or maybe they were in love and then they had the baby and now they
00:38:31hate each other
00:38:31that's real nice i'm i'm sorry that's the reason i don't want kids all right i know you want kids
00:38:36i mean it i don't want kids okay you don't mean that don't say that um i do mean it
00:38:44i don't want
00:38:45kids delena you don't mean that stop can we not have this conversation because that really put a
00:38:52damper on my entire day yes okay sorry um okay what do you want to do
00:39:00follow me
00:39:02turn up the stereo
00:39:24I'm going to get this with my name on it
00:39:26and she's going to get this with her name on it.
00:39:31What's the other 2%?
00:39:34Um, Carol Beagle.
00:39:39Open the window.
00:39:46Get back in the saddle.
00:39:52This ain't no ghetto.
00:39:59You're on the payroll.
00:40:03Sit down.
00:40:05No.
00:40:06No.
00:40:07No.
00:40:08Yeah.
00:40:09Oh, my God.
00:40:12No.
00:40:13Welcome to the house.
00:40:14Let's go, right.
00:40:16Don't see.
00:40:17Yeah, they're very humble.
00:40:21Let the grown men cry.
00:40:26Oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my.
00:40:33Oh my.
00:40:37Really?
00:40:38Yes, he cuts his toenails.
00:40:39In the car.
00:40:40That's a good thing.
00:40:40No.
00:40:41Shots!
00:40:42Keep it going all-nighter!
00:40:44Oh, hi Kyle.
00:40:46You sure you're allowed back in here?
00:40:50Dude, I'm so embarrassed.
00:40:53How can we make this up to you?
00:40:55Um, I guess one of you could eat some dog shit.
00:40:58Shit, I'll do it.
00:40:59No, I'll do it.
00:41:01I'll do it.
00:41:02I am so sorry that we keep subjecting you to this.
00:41:04Let's just do a round of fireball shots for everyone.
00:41:10You like fireball?
00:41:13I love fireball.
00:41:16Let's fucking go.
00:41:20What is with Phil?
00:41:22What's up, Kaylee?
00:41:24Oh my God, dude.
00:41:26I gotta go to the bathroom.
00:41:27Well, we've been having so much fun.
00:41:29It's been hard to find the right time to tell her.
00:41:32Right.
00:41:33But more importantly, as soon as you tell her, it's gonna be weird.
00:41:37Uh, yeah, that too.
00:41:39Alright, then don't think about it and just have fun.
00:41:41I can't not think about it.
00:41:44She is going to find out.
00:41:46Mm-hmm.
00:41:48Oh my God, you're so stressed.
00:41:50I know.
00:41:51I know.
00:41:51I can feel your heart beating in your chest.
00:41:54I know.
00:41:55I know.
00:41:56Well, my fiance wants to try for kids as soon as we get married,
00:42:00so this will be the last time I see my friends for the next 18 years.
00:42:07That's so sad.
00:42:08I know.
00:42:09Don't say that.
00:42:10I agree.
00:42:10The fact is is that we're getting older,
00:42:12and we're not gonna have a lot more weekends like this.
00:42:14We're not 80 years old.
00:42:15This is not your last hurrah.
00:42:17Do you know what a bachelor party is?
00:42:18By definition, it is a last hurrah.
00:42:20I think you're being dramatic.
00:42:22I don't think so.
00:42:26Maybe we get another drink?
00:42:28Yes.
00:42:28Is that an awful idea?
00:42:29No, it's a good idea.
00:42:31Okay, twist your arm?
00:42:32Twist my arm.
00:42:33I don't really do the whole American idealization of excess,
00:42:36super-sized thing.
00:42:37Well, except when it comes to real estate,
00:42:38because tiny homes scare me.
00:42:41Oh.
00:42:43Beijing.
00:42:45Hold those.
00:42:49What's his deal?
00:42:51Oh, he's a good dude.
00:42:52And he's, like, low-key rich now, too.
00:42:54But he only dates models.
00:42:56Sorry.
00:42:57Hey, um, are you single?
00:43:00Yeah, I'm single.
00:43:02Same.
00:43:03I mean, me and my boys have, like, a strict no-dating policy for junior year.
00:43:07I love that.
00:43:08I wish my friends got that.
00:43:11Could you be putting a good word with, uh, Tommy?
00:43:14Like to date?
00:43:15No.
00:43:16I'll, like, to smash.
00:43:17Yeah, I'll just smash.
00:43:20Yeah, I'll ask him.
00:43:21Less of an ask and more of a temperature check.
00:43:23Just check it out for me.
00:43:25It's my mission to get you kissing.
00:43:28Oh!
00:43:29Phil!
00:43:30Tommy!
00:43:30Family fireball shots!
00:43:33Oh, fuck.
00:43:55I forgot to vote.
00:43:57Guys, there's nothing open.
00:43:59We really don't need to force the night.
00:44:00No, no, no.
00:44:02We said all-nighter.
00:44:04We did.
00:44:04I feel like Tommy and Delaney still need to clap cheeks.
00:44:07What are you talking about?
00:44:09Nothing.
00:44:09He's drunk.
00:44:10Ignore him.
00:44:11Well, we would invite you back to the Pelican Palace Bar.
00:44:13Uh, but it is, I've been told, an out-of-order vending machine in the parking lot.
00:44:19Mm.
00:44:20So...
00:44:20That's correct.
00:44:21They can't host.
00:44:22Do you...
00:44:24You guys, should we just call it?
00:44:26Yes.
00:44:26No.
00:44:27No, let's go to ours.
00:44:30What about Dougie?
00:44:32Dougie?
00:44:32No.
00:44:34We'll be quiet.
00:44:38Sorry.
00:44:39This is the only room in the house without cameras.
00:44:41I have cash.
00:44:42Yeah, I think, uh, I think I should probably take Phil home.
00:44:45No.
00:44:46No.
00:44:47You should stay here.
00:44:49Charlie and Katie, they'll be back any second.
00:44:51Oh, I'm friends with Danny.
00:44:52Or...
00:44:53We could play a game.
00:44:55You guys ever heard of...
00:44:56Twister?
00:44:57Oh, man.
00:44:59The beta thighs brought it to, uh, the hockey house last spring.
00:45:03No, uh, seriously, I told Phil's wife I'd watch him.
00:45:06I think it's time for us to go, Phil.
00:45:08I'm good.
00:45:09Chill.
00:45:10Come on, we'll go back to the hotel.
00:45:11I think we should get Phil coffee.
00:45:12Phil, do you want a coffee?
00:45:13Don't fucking touch me.
00:45:15Alright, yeah, let's get Phil coffee.
00:45:18Is that okay?
00:45:19Yeah, go get me fucking coffee and get out of here.
00:45:22Great, let's get Phil coffee.
00:45:23Bye.
00:45:24This guy fucking thinks he knows what it's like to fucking live in a house with three women.
00:45:28No offense, you're awesome.
00:45:30Ooh, a smooth banana IPA.
00:45:34That could be your, that could be your wedding drink.
00:45:36Like your bride signature cocktail.
00:45:38I'm not doing any of that stuff.
00:45:40Right.
00:45:41Cause you're like, cool bride.
00:45:43Yes.
00:45:44Yes, that's right.
00:45:45What's your signature cocktail?
00:45:47Well, I'm a cool groom, so I can't do that.
00:45:50Oh.
00:45:50You, you might actually be too cool of a groom if it takes you seven years to propose.
00:45:57Look, love happens in its own time.
00:46:00Oh, right.
00:46:00It's, you know, I don't make the timetable, love makes the timetable.
00:46:03And that's what you told her?
00:46:04Yeah.
00:46:04Yes, that's what I told her.
00:46:05And how much time did that buy you?
00:46:07Seven years.
00:46:09Ah, ah, ah.
00:46:10I see.
00:46:11What?
00:46:13What made you wait so long?
00:46:14I just wasn't sure.
00:46:17About your fiance?
00:46:18About any of it.
00:46:19I just, I just didn't know if that's what I wanted.
00:46:22You know, I just think it's this thing that we all think we're supposed to do cause everybody
00:46:26else does it, but we never stop and ask ourselves if it's what we actually want.
00:46:30And then I realized that I did want it.
00:46:33And I do want kids.
00:46:35And that eventually I just had to get out of my own way and find somebody that I liked
00:46:40and use good judgment and be smart and just, you know, pick them and be happy.
00:46:48So romantic.
00:46:49I don't care if you don't think it's romantic.
00:46:51It's honest.
00:46:52And honesty is what sustains a marriage.
00:46:56It's not romance.
00:46:57I mean, you actually don't think that there's one person for everyone?
00:47:03I'm sorry, you can't be serious.
00:47:05What?
00:47:06One person for everyone?
00:47:07No, of course not.
00:47:08I think there are millions of people that we can connect with.
00:47:11It's just a matter of when you meet them.
00:47:13We're not marrying these people because of timing.
00:47:17Don't say we're marrying them because of soulmates because I'll leave you here with those beers.
00:47:25We are marrying them because we love them.
00:47:29Yes.
00:47:31I mean, right?
00:47:33I said yes.
00:47:35I...
00:47:36You're not selling me.
00:47:37Do you know?
00:47:38That's not my job.
00:47:39Oh!
00:47:40This coffee expired six years ago.
00:47:43Coffee doesn't expire.
00:47:44I got cash money, baby girl.
00:47:46Remember that stuff from the 90s?
00:47:47Don't be careful.
00:47:48We'll give it some tap butter, okay?
00:47:49Or like Windex or something.
00:47:50Would you like to share a glass of wine?
00:47:52What?
00:47:54Someone found a speaker!
00:47:56Connect.
00:47:57No, I have to conserve my battery for the Uber so we can leave.
00:48:00You remember leaving?
00:48:01You can use my phone for the music.
00:48:04No offense, but you probably don't have my kind of music on your phone, so...
00:48:07What kind of music do you like?
00:48:08House.
00:48:09But a very specific kind of house.
00:48:11I like specific house.
00:48:13Oh, my God.
00:48:14Just listen to your music, okay?
00:48:16Put on your phone.
00:48:16I'm fine.
00:48:17Put on your phone.
00:48:18I'm fine.
00:48:19Oh, Tommy.
00:48:22I'm coming, Tommy.
00:48:28I'm gonna make two glasses of wine still for...
00:48:31If anyone wants to stay and drink it with me.
00:49:01Delaney, can you fire for some pizzas, hon?
00:49:05For the guys, at least?
00:49:07I mean, I'm happy to host this.
00:49:09Yeah, you don't seem anxious about it at all.
00:49:10Well, I'm just...
00:49:11I'm a little worried.
00:49:12If I get a bad review, that is on you.
00:49:14What is with you in this review?
00:49:15What?
00:49:15Are you in some sort of legal bind?
00:49:17No.
00:49:18No, but...
00:49:19I will write you a comment if they give you a shitty review.
00:49:22Oh, oh.
00:49:25Um...
00:49:25We could just go back to my hotel.
00:49:27If you want.
00:49:28I mean, just say the word.
00:49:32Charlie, I can't.
00:49:34I'm engaged.
00:49:35You know?
00:49:37I...
00:49:38Trust me.
00:49:41I feel it, too.
00:49:42But there's not...
00:49:43I'm...
00:49:44I'm sorry.
00:49:44I meant, like...
00:49:45I meant all of us would go back to my hotel.
00:49:48Like...
00:49:49Instead of you hosting here?
00:49:51Just because you seemed anxious about it?
00:49:53Yeah, no.
00:49:54I'm...
00:49:55I'm so sorry.
00:49:56Um...
00:49:57Just because we'd been flirting, so I thought that you were...
00:49:59I wasn't suggesting that you and I would go back alone to my hotel.
00:50:03I hope I wasn't giving off that impression.
00:50:06I mean, did you think the friendly banter meant that I was gonna, like, cheat on my fiancee?
00:50:11No.
00:50:12No.
00:50:20I got it.
00:50:20Okay.
00:50:22That's a fad, dude.
00:50:26Delaney, what the fuck are you doing?
00:50:28We said we'd stay in the bedroom!
00:50:30Delaney!
00:50:31Phil, buddy, time to go.
00:50:32Finally.
00:50:33Yeah, let's go.
00:50:34No.
00:50:34Stay.
00:50:35You can go to my room.
00:50:36I'll make it fun.
00:50:37No.
00:50:38No, thanks.
00:50:39Is it because I'm not a model?
00:50:40No.
00:50:41Because I don't share a genuine connection with you and it feels weird to lead you on.
00:50:44Oh, fuck you.
00:50:45You know, I came here to celebrate an important time in Charlie's life.
00:50:49I tried to politely keep my distance so I could spend time with my friends, who I never see,
00:50:53but you inserted yourself into our plants and put us all in a very weird situation.
00:50:58So, honestly, fuck you, Delaney.
00:51:00No.
00:51:01No.
00:51:02No, no, no.
00:51:03Fuck you, Tommy.
00:51:05Fuck you.
00:51:06Because that, that's the dopest girl that I've ever met.
00:51:10And you may not get her.
00:51:13But I do.
00:51:22I think I love you.
00:51:28What?
00:51:29What?
00:51:31What are you talking about?
00:51:34What?
00:51:35No, no, no, no, no.
00:51:36What, what is going on here?
00:51:38Who are these people?
00:51:39Mom's house?
00:51:40Can you not on the art?
00:51:42Morgan?
00:51:42I'm sorry.
00:51:43I'm sorry.
00:51:43They are about to leave.
00:51:45Additional guests?
00:51:46Shoes inside?
00:51:47Alcohol?
00:51:49You agreed to the rules.
00:51:51I know.
00:51:51I know.
00:51:52I'm sorry.
00:51:52There were a lot of rules.
00:51:53And honestly, no alcohol is crazy.
00:51:55So.
00:51:56Yeah.
00:51:56Because I don't want to relapse again.
00:51:58I'm two years sober.
00:52:00What is wrong with you people?
00:52:01This is my house.
00:52:02It kills me that I have to rent this out.
00:52:04But with my mom's leftover medical bills, I don't really have.
00:52:12Really?
00:52:14I'm not going to not do the coke.
00:52:18Hi.
00:52:19Hi.
00:52:20We're here for Big Dick Phil.
00:52:23Oh my God.
00:52:24I'm him.
00:52:25Phil, please tell me that you didn't hire her.
00:52:28Delaney said I could.
00:52:29I said he could.
00:52:30Because guess what?
00:52:31All guys like strippers, Katie.
00:52:33Even your lover, Charlie.
00:52:35Okay, well, he's not my lover.
00:52:36I mean, you have been eye-fucking her all week, dude.
00:52:39See?
00:52:40Whoa.
00:52:41What about my sister?
00:52:43Let's not chill.
00:52:44What are you talking about?
00:52:45She's engaged.
00:52:49You knew?
00:52:52Charlie knew.
00:52:54Hey, we're drunk.
00:52:55Okay?
00:52:55Let's not talk about this right now.
00:52:57You don't want to talk about how you hid your engagement from me for an entire weekend?
00:53:01Can you stop?
00:53:02How you put our phones in a kitchen drawer?
00:53:05Stop.
00:53:05You're a psycho.
00:53:06Hey, you're a fucking bitch!
00:53:09Okay, this is just sad.
00:53:10I can't dance here.
00:53:12Same.
00:53:12Friendship stuff is super triggering.
00:53:14Yeah.
00:53:23Okay.
00:53:24I got another girl, but it'll take her 45 minutes to get here.
00:53:28Get out!
00:53:29You get out.
00:53:32You're a pervert.
00:53:34You filmed us.
00:53:37Pervert.
00:53:38Pervert.
00:53:40Pervert.
00:53:41Pervert.
00:53:43Pervert.
00:53:44Pervert.
00:53:44Pervert.
00:53:45Pervert.
00:53:45Pervert.
00:53:45Pervert.
00:53:45You're creepy!
00:53:47You don't treat guests this way!
00:53:52Everywhere's closed, Delaney.
00:53:54I'm talking to you.
00:53:55Okay, but nowhere's open.
00:53:56You don't know everything.
00:54:00Ugh.
00:54:04Oh, hello.
00:54:07I'll have one pizza for one person.
00:54:11Can I get home?
00:54:13I can get home.
00:54:14I can get home.
00:54:16He said it's going to be five minutes, so.
00:54:19You didn't want to know what type of pizza?
00:54:20I always get pepperoni and they always know, so.
00:54:23Yeah, I didn't hear a credit card number.
00:54:26I'm paying cash for stuff.
00:54:28Hmm.
00:54:54Tommy took my charger into his room and...
00:54:58I know, but...
00:55:00Alright, well, Kyle's also not exactly the most reliable narrator.
00:55:07I can't.
00:55:09Look, I'm gonna be home in a few hours.
00:55:14No, I'm here.
00:55:19No, my service is fine.
00:55:20I'm gonna...
00:55:21I'll be home in a few hours and then we can talk, okay?
00:55:33Ready.
00:55:34Great.
00:55:36Four hours and 37 minutes to destination.
00:56:04here we go.
00:56:05Good morning.
00:56:20I stayed in an hour for two hours.
00:56:34Can you please talk about last night?
00:56:37About what?
00:56:40All of it.
00:56:42I mean...
00:56:44Do you remember any of it?
00:56:46I know you can black out big chunks when you drink like that.
00:56:53I remember that you lied to me about getting engaged. I remember that.
00:56:58I tried to tell you that first night I had this whole thing planned. It's the whole reason we did
00:57:03the trip.
00:57:05You lied to me all weekend.
00:57:08No, I tried to tell you all weekend.
00:57:11Another lie. That's great.
00:57:13Why do you always lie? Honestly, you lie to me all the time.
00:57:16I'm not a liar. It's just really hard to be honest with you.
00:57:20I mean, you hate everything. You hate everyone.
00:57:23I don't hate everyone.
00:57:25Admit you hate John.
00:57:27Admit it!
00:57:27You've never liked him. You roll your eyes when you talk. You don't laugh at his jokes.
00:57:31I don't know why he's so sweet, but you have always hated him.
00:57:34I hate how boring he makes you.
00:57:36Boring?!
00:57:36Why? Because I don't want to babysit your fucking benders.
00:57:38At least I'm not stuck in some sad routine.
00:57:41I'm not sad. I'm happy.
00:57:43You look happy.
00:57:45Why don't you call it?
00:57:47I'm serious. Why don't you leave the city?
00:57:49Go drown your personality in white wine with Gwen.
00:57:52That sounds better than staying here and wasting it with you one weekend at a time.
00:57:58Why don't you try caring about something?
00:58:01Why don't you try making a fucking effort?
00:58:06Why don't you grow up?
00:58:07I am growing up!
00:58:08You still do cocaine!
00:58:10Doing cocaine is fun, Katie!
00:58:11Okay. Yeah, well, maybe we're too different now.
00:58:17Yeah, maybe we are.
00:58:25Get out.
00:58:33Hey, there she is.
00:58:35How you doing? You feeling okay?
00:58:37Yeah, let's go out of the shower.
00:58:38Okay.
00:58:44Take a ride away from me.
00:58:50Taking light and leaving green.
00:58:55I keep the hurt I'd rather feel.
00:59:01And watch the shadow from my knees.
00:59:12There were two pigs, okay, and they're in the same pit of mud.
00:59:16And the wife pig turns over to the husband pig, and she says,
00:59:19Have you seen Farmer Joe's pants lately?
00:59:28Why would you cancel?
00:59:30The husband goes,
00:59:31Oh, that's so funny.
00:59:32I thought he said porkchop.
00:59:43Thank you so much, Emily.
00:59:46See you next time.
00:59:54Oops.
00:59:55Did a thing.
00:59:56Officially secured Series B Fundy for my startup.
01:00:02What do you think posted that?
01:00:04Oh, oh, oh, oh, um, Elon Musk.
01:00:10Uh, no, no, it's someone we know.
01:00:12Oh, oh, uh, um, I give up.
01:00:19Okay, um, no, it was Diane's date from, uh, New Year's.
01:00:23Oh, no, I don't, I don't, I don't even think I've met her.
01:00:26Oh, is she friends with Delaney?
01:00:28Speaking of which, is Delaney coming to dinner this weekend?
01:00:32I don't think so.
01:00:35Why?
01:00:36Well, we're gonna fight.
01:00:38The two of you are fighting?
01:00:40Yeah.
01:00:40That's maybe never happened in the history of the world.
01:00:44What happened?
01:00:44Um, it's very dumb.
01:00:46It was about the engagement.
01:00:48Oh.
01:00:50I, so I never actually told her.
01:00:52She found out on my phone and went ballistic and got wasted.
01:00:56Wait, wait, wait, what do you mean?
01:00:57You didn't tell her that?
01:00:58I mean, remember I tried and you called, so I couldn't really.
01:01:01And then I tried later that night and it got extremely weird.
01:01:03No, no, no, no.
01:01:05Don't, don't, don't do that.
01:01:06I let you wait until the perfect moment to tell her how you wanted to tell her.
01:01:12And you said you would do that on the trip.
01:01:13You told me you would handle that on the trip so we could start planning our wedding.
01:01:17I mean, you're a little obsessed with planning the wedding.
01:01:19Well, yeah, I want to celebrate our marriage with our family and our friends.
01:01:23No offense, I, I don't think you really get it.
01:01:25You know, I don't think you get me and Delaney exactly.
01:01:27I don't think you could.
01:01:28See, how do you, how do you say that?
01:01:30I've been nothing but accommodating to you and your friend.
01:01:34She has a drawer in our dresser.
01:01:36You said that was fun.
01:01:36It was, it is.
01:01:40But I just want to know when you're going to choose us, right?
01:01:44When, when you will stop bending our lives together for Delaney.
01:01:48It's not just Delaney.
01:01:50Hold on, no, no, no, no, no.
01:01:52What do you, what do you, what do you mean?
01:01:53You know, marriage can really change your life.
01:01:56And, and a lot of times it's for the better, which I think will be, you know, our case.
01:02:00And I'm very excited, of course, but there's just a lot of changes.
01:02:04Like, for example, you know, eventually we will probably want to move out of the city and that's fine.
01:02:08And I'm, you know, we'll do that for you.
01:02:10And you go out there and then all of a sudden all your friends are married couples that moved out
01:02:15there too.
01:02:16And, and nobody knew you before you were a married couple.
01:02:18So it's actually a bit like you didn't exist before you were part of a married couple.
01:02:22So that's the new you.
01:02:23I'm just going to, I'm just going to stop you.
01:02:25I don't even know what to believe at all.
01:02:29John!
01:02:34So, anyways, popcorn to Delaney.
01:02:37I didn't have any peaks this week.
01:02:41Well, a week of valleys finds time in our cal eventually.
01:02:45Everything okay?
01:02:46Yeah, it's, everything's okay.
01:02:49Delaney, we're here if you ever want to share, obviously, but you seem to hate peaks and valleys, so.
01:02:54I don't hate peaks and valleys.
01:02:56Really?
01:02:57Once you thought you were muted and you screamed fuck when we started playing the game.
01:03:02Okay, fine.
01:03:03Um, my valley was, my best friend lied to me about getting engaged.
01:03:16What?
01:03:18Wow.
01:03:19Wow, that is a deep valley.
01:03:22Very deep.
01:03:23Okay, let's dive into this.
01:03:26Let's dive into this.
01:03:27Come on, we're here for you.
01:03:30Wow, your hair, I always picture.
01:03:33I pictured you as a blonde.
01:03:35Look at you!
01:03:37Okay, so wait, tell me everything.
01:03:38Who is this fiance?
01:03:39What's his name?
01:03:41John.
01:03:42Where's John from?
01:03:44Yep, John.
01:03:46The Midwest.
01:03:47What state?
01:03:48Minneapolis.
01:03:51Michigan or Minnesota.
01:03:53It's an M, I just, I can't remember right now.
01:03:56You seem like you must hate him.
01:03:58I don't hate him.
01:04:00I don't hate John.
01:04:01That's very nice.
01:04:02Since you're best friends, you're trying to be nice.
01:04:03But, like, what did he do?
01:04:04He obviously cheated.
01:04:06He obviously cheated.
01:04:07He did cheat.
01:04:08Alex, he cheated.
01:04:09John did not cheat.
01:04:10John's not a cheater.
01:04:11He's totally obsessed with her.
01:04:15But too obsessed, probably.
01:04:18No.
01:04:19No.
01:04:20Oh, no.
01:04:20To where it's, like, true crime.
01:04:23No.
01:04:25He treats her really well.
01:04:26He's a very good guy.
01:04:28So he treats her well?
01:04:32Yeah, he treats her well.
01:04:35Wait, and she, is she, like, happy with him?
01:04:41Yeah.
01:04:44Okay, wait.
01:04:45Sorry for the disconnect here, but what's the problem?
01:04:49And the toy guy said that that's the most popular thing he sells.
01:04:52Yeah, no, the kids wanted one of these.
01:04:54I just got them a new globe, but never enough.
01:04:58So, where's John?
01:04:59His, uh, work thing.
01:05:01Oh, did he decide if he wanted the chicken or lamb skewers for the cocktail hour?
01:05:05Shoot.
01:05:05Uh, I'll ask him.
01:05:06I'm not sure.
01:05:07If you get that thing wet, it turns blue.
01:05:10So he's rehabbing brittle hips after sundown?
01:05:13He's really burning the midnight oil.
01:05:16And, um, if you wanted to go back to red again, you just put it in the sun.
01:05:20Is there trouble in paradise?
01:05:23You can't hide from an empath, little sister.
01:05:27Um, Delaney and I got into a fight, and now John and I are in a bit of a fight
01:05:34about that fight.
01:05:35Of course.
01:05:36No, no, no.
01:05:36We all saw this coming.
01:05:38You know, you guys are emotionally stunted.
01:05:41Daria says you both have arrested development.
01:05:43I never said that.
01:05:44I'm sorry, you just happened to leave your notebook open to a page that said never individuated into adulthood.
01:05:48Did you find the key to my office again?
01:05:50It doesn't matter.
01:05:50Look, the medical fact is you guys are basically still kids who are clinging on to each other in the
01:05:55cafeteria of life.
01:05:56You're emotionally stunted.
01:06:00Oh, that's a very mature response, Katie.
01:06:02Do you see what I'm saying?
01:06:04You're stunted.
01:06:05This is so rich coming from you.
01:06:07Look, I'm sorry.
01:06:08I really hate to be the one to have to tell you this, but it might actually be time for
01:06:12you to grow up.
01:06:13We have all had to.
01:06:15Did we?
01:06:16I mean, did we all have to?
01:06:17You're like 40 years old, and you still blame everything on our parents.
01:06:20You're emotionally stunted, not me.
01:06:22Tell him, Daria.
01:06:23No, no, no, Daria.
01:06:24Tell her that she's narcissistic like Dad.
01:06:25Do you know that the DSM-5 defines narcissism as a personality disorder, right, Daria?
01:06:30A cluster B personality disorder, which I think we can both agree you have.
01:06:34I have a personality disorder?
01:06:36Yeah, obviously.
01:06:36Oh my God, you're delusional.
01:06:37You're literally medically delusional.
01:06:40You're certifiable.
01:06:41Daria, tell him.
01:06:42You have every symptom.
01:06:43Tell him.
01:06:43Tell him.
01:06:44He's literally-
01:06:44Shut up!
01:06:45Just shut the fuck up!
01:06:51Today I listened to a man detail an intense reptilian fetish that's ruining his marriage.
01:06:58And I had to tell him, no, that's not weird.
01:07:01Do you want an iguana to act as a third?
01:07:05A girl ate rocks in front of me.
01:07:09And I had to tell a mother who told me that she lost her pregnancy.
01:07:14I had to promise her that she would get over it one day.
01:07:19Do you guys want a medical diagnosis?
01:07:23You are both ungrateful shits!
01:07:37I can't believe she said all that stuff about her patients.
01:07:42I mean, isn't that supposed to be, like, really private?
01:07:46Okay.
01:07:48I know we didn't have the ideal childhood.
01:07:53But you cannot keep using it as an excuse.
01:07:57I mean, come on.
01:07:59Can you be the adult for once?
01:08:03Can you help me for once?
01:08:07Things are going to be okay with John.
01:08:12I don't know, actually.
01:08:15Yeah, he's...
01:08:17He's really mad.
01:08:18People get mad, Katie.
01:08:21It's part of life, and it's going to be a long road if you walk around trying to make everything
01:08:26nice for everybody all the time.
01:08:27You've got to be honest.
01:08:30I know what Delaney means to you.
01:08:34And I know how much she was there for you when you were kids.
01:08:36And yes, I maybe thought that you were freaks.
01:08:40But what you had was special.
01:08:43You guys had a great run.
01:08:48So maybe it's okay that it's over.
01:08:52Sometimes the past can't last.
01:08:57Pass me to my pillow journal.
01:08:59Hurry up.
01:09:01Quick, quick, quick, quick.
01:09:04Okay, I made a guest list.
01:09:06Pretty much everyone who's coming is cool except for, like, one other assistant from my office.
01:09:10Have I shown you her grid before?
01:09:12She posts so much emo shit.
01:09:15It's like, we get that you have cancer.
01:09:17Maybe she wants support.
01:09:19What?
01:09:21We're seeing it helps other people.
01:09:24Oh, it doesn't help me.
01:09:25I meant other sick people.
01:09:28Right.
01:09:29Wait, how much do we hate Katie?
01:09:31Like, we haven't talked about this at all.
01:09:33Yeah.
01:09:34What she did wasn't great.
01:09:37You know what I always say.
01:09:39Hate motivates.
01:09:41Liking stuff I can motivate, too.
01:09:43No, liking stuff is for sheep.
01:09:46Plus, hating stuff is, like, our thing.
01:09:48We both know the whole world sucks.
01:09:50The whole world sucks?
01:09:52Yeah.
01:10:01I think I need to leave.
01:10:03I mean, same.
01:10:04This place is a shithole.
01:10:05Like, it's obviously a temporary situation.
01:10:08No.
01:10:09I just don't want to be around you anymore.
01:10:14I hate that we love to hate people.
01:10:17It makes me feel sick.
01:10:20And I want to feel good.
01:10:23I want to be happy.
01:10:25I want to be happy for other people.
01:10:26I want to be happy for my family.
01:10:28I want to be happy for my friends.
01:10:33But I don't know how to do that.
01:10:35I don't know how to be happy for people.
01:10:46Did you, like, write that in your notes app to say to me?
01:10:48That's so fucking lame, Delaney.
01:10:53Okay.
01:10:54Bye.
01:10:58Just keep breathing.
01:11:02Delaney.
01:11:08Delaney.
01:11:10Hi.
01:11:11What happened?
01:11:12Is everyone okay?
01:11:14What?
01:11:14Yeah.
01:11:18Then, um, why are you here?
01:11:25Where are you from?
01:11:29Uh, Illinois.
01:11:34I knew that.
01:11:38Did you like it there in Illinois?
01:11:42Do you mind?
01:11:44Sure.
01:11:47Ozzy.
01:11:51What's this?
01:11:53Yeah.
01:11:55Um.
01:11:57Yeah, I lived in Illinois pretty much my whole life.
01:12:01High school.
01:12:02College.
01:12:03Go Phoenixes.
01:12:05It was our college mascot.
01:12:07Yeah, my whole family went there.
01:12:08And I am so sorry that I didn't tell you that I was going to propose to Katie.
01:12:15It's okay.
01:12:18Probably made you hate me even more.
01:12:19I never hated you.
01:12:22I hated you existed.
01:12:26That was, I...
01:12:27Right.
01:12:30You never did anything wrong.
01:12:34I did everything to make it incredibly weird for you.
01:12:40And I'm really sorry.
01:12:47I'm really happy it's you.
01:12:53I will, uh, let you go back to work.
01:12:55Yeah, yeah.
01:12:58We're actually in a fight.
01:13:01Um.
01:13:02She lied to me about telling you.
01:13:04And I just don't understand why she can't be honest with me.
01:13:10I don't know.
01:13:14Maybe she's afraid of losing us.
01:13:18Or maybe it's...
01:13:21Trying to protect us.
01:13:23You really don't know.
01:13:27I do know that...
01:13:32Getting older is...
01:13:35Really scary.
01:13:43I'm not paying for this.
01:13:46I got his card on file.
01:13:50Oh, can we talk?
01:13:53I mean, what are we doing?
01:13:54I, I, I can't take more silent treatment.
01:14:00That's my client, Jerry.
01:14:04Uh, uh, yeah, I know Jerry.
01:14:07Do you know his wife, Marlene?
01:14:10You know, they've been married for years.
01:14:12Lived in four states.
01:14:14Three countries.
01:14:16They got divorced.
01:14:18Got back together.
01:14:20Lived in next door houses.
01:14:22Just for their own space.
01:14:25Until they built this place.
01:14:28Together.
01:14:31I don't know what the rest of our lives will look like.
01:14:34But it can be whatever we want it to be.
01:14:37I love you.
01:14:39I love you.
01:14:39I love you, too.
01:14:41I'm sorry.
01:14:42I'm sorry.
01:14:44I'm sorry I lied.
01:14:48And I'm gonna do better.
01:14:50I know.
01:14:51I know.
01:14:52She told me.
01:14:53Who?
01:14:55Delaney.
01:14:57Um, when, when did you see Delaney?
01:15:00Delaney.
01:15:01Today.
01:15:02She came by the office.
01:15:04Why?
01:15:05She's like, what?
01:15:07Like returning the stuff I had in her apartment?
01:15:09Or...
01:15:12She...
01:15:12wanted to know where I was from.
01:15:17Yeah.
01:15:22Actually...
01:15:25Go get your girl.
01:15:29Go on.
01:15:30Yeah.
01:15:31Yeah.
01:15:35Open up your gate.
01:15:37There you go.
01:15:42Go.
01:15:51Go.
01:15:51What?
01:16:12Katie, no. There's a list, and you're not the aesthetic. And honestly, even if you were,
01:16:16there's already a Jennifer here, and you can't, like, have a Jennifer and a Katie, you know?
01:16:20Yeah, okay. Um, Roxy, I know you think I'm lame, but I know that you're miserable, and that's
01:16:27why you're so mean. I feel bad for you. Okay? Yeah. Same. Yeah. Uh, where's Delaney? Where do
01:16:38you think? Fuck. Occupied. Occupied. Delaney, drop the drugs. I said Occupied.
01:16:53So, I was gonna... Sorry, um, can I go first? Because I'm feeling brave, and that might
01:16:59go away. What? I look at you, and I feel like we are still 12 years old. And I really
01:17:14love
01:17:14that. But we're not 12 years old anymore, and we can't spend every second together anymore.
01:17:26And we don't like all the same things anymore, as much as I try to fight that. And I want
01:17:33to get married. And I want to have kids. And I want to save pictures of bathroom renovations
01:17:43I like. And I want to make little dishes for my keys. And I want to move out of the
01:17:50city.
01:17:50And I know you don't want that stuff. You don't even like that stuff, actually. And you don't
01:17:57even really like people who do. Just scary. And I didn't tell you about the engagement, because
01:18:08I was afraid you wouldn't be happy for me. And that would just break my heart beyond repair.
01:18:18And I'm so happy about this next chapter of my life. But I'm terrified that you don't want to be
01:18:23a part of it.
01:18:27And I know I really messed up by lying. And I'm really, really sorry. And if things are different now,
01:18:37I understand.
01:18:40And if we end up parting ways, I just wanted to say thank you. Being your best friend is just
01:18:53been the highlight of my life. And I think we're really lucky to have lasted as long as we did.
01:19:19Well, it's not every day your kid sister gets married. I'm incredibly honored to be here.
01:19:24And I was asked to put a couple words together and to try to capture the spirit of marriage
01:19:30and what it means to our civilization and particularly what it means to these two very special people.
01:19:38So I've done my best. And I think you'll agree.
01:19:45Love's passion. Always in fashion. French kissing. Sad to be missing. Willows swaying. Children playing.
01:19:58Love will find a way. Today. Forevermore. Into Dawn, Katie, and John. You have truly won the game.
01:20:31Thank you for that beautiful poem, Henry.
01:20:38Okay. Let's do this. Dearly beloved.
01:20:56This is so crazy. You spend more time with like a hairdresser than you do with like your best friends.
01:21:03100%. My eyebrow woman is, is, is, is closer to me. I text her. We're on texting basis. Yeah.
01:21:09Girl, I got what you desire. Yeah. I got a love key to light your fire. Oh, girl.
01:21:27It's like really fun. Just to like sleep, right? To be in bed for a full 24 hours.
01:21:34People say that's depression. I say that's a luxury. Exactly. Yeah.
01:21:38A hundred percent. A hundred percent.
01:21:39I love, A hundred percent. A hundred percent. I love, a hundred percent. I love, a hundred percent. It's kind
01:22:04of depressing. It is. Well, that's what they tell you at school. You never listen to.
01:22:09listen, you know, that like, you're like, that won't be me.
01:22:23I'm fostering to a bass and ham this week.
01:22:26I know.
01:22:27So running around.
01:22:29I need it.
01:22:30I honestly, I cannot even stand it.
01:22:33I need it here.
01:22:51I need it.
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