- 8 hours ago
Jingle All the Way 2 (2014) [Full Movie] [Full Story]Full EP - Full
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🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:38It's cold out, baby, put a jacket on for the chill
00:43I got a bright red sleigh, babe, jingle bells, what a thrill
00:49I'm gonna take it downtown, we got Christmas time to kill
00:54It's a downtown Christmas, baby, take a ride with me
01:00It's a downtown Christmas, baby, take a ride with me
01:05On a cold Christmas night downtown is where I wanna be
01:10You know uptown, baby, they got no lights to see
01:15Head in southbound, baby, they got no
01:19Dad? Hey, Dad! Time to wake up!
01:26Dad!
01:27Where's the buttons on that snooze alarm?
01:32I'm not the snooze alarm
01:35Are you excited? It's time to go ice fishing
01:38I am excited, I'm gonna sleep on it and figure out what we're gonna do with it
01:46Remember, the early bird gets the worm
01:49And I think we know what happens to that worm
01:52It gets gobbled up and eaten
01:56Don't make me!
01:58All right, then
02:02All right, now you've done it
02:04You know what you just did?
02:06You just awakened a giant, abominable yeti
02:09And you know what he feeds on?
02:12Cookies?
02:12No
02:13No
02:14He feeds on tickles!
02:17He need a tickle!
02:19Come on, let's go fishing!
02:22Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
02:35My little lady, my guy, is the thing to say
02:39I want a bright boy on Christmas Day
02:43That's the island greeting that we're sending you
02:47From the land where palm trees swore
02:51You know that Christmas will be green and bright
02:56The sun will shine on the day and all the stars at night
03:01Maka-maka-maka is the wildest way
03:05To say Merry Christmas to you
03:08Take it away, Dad!
03:10Maka-maka-maka is the thing to say
03:14All the black Hawaiian Christmas Day
03:19That's the island greeting that we send to you
03:23From the land where palm trees sway
03:27Dad, I wish you could have been at Mommy's wedding
03:30You should have seen Mom's engagement ring
03:33The diamond was huge
03:35And during the wedding, I got to hand Mom her a ring
03:39And you know what? You've been telling me all week
03:42That's awesome!
03:43If your mom is happy, I'm super happy
03:46Yeah, she's super happy
03:48And Victor's awesome!
03:50Don't you think?
03:53Yeah, he's awesome!
03:54Hey, you wanna know what else is awesome?
03:56Yeah!
03:56Watch this! What am I?
04:01A walrus with tooth decay?
04:04A walrus with tooth decay?
04:06Look, Barney, how do you want a cheese doodle?
04:08For breakfast?
04:10No, not for breakfast. You don't eat them for breakfast
04:12You ate a Twinkie for breakfast
04:17What's wrong? What's wrong? It's a Twinkie!
04:21Hey, Dad, how come you and Mom didn't stay married?
04:26Well, sweetie, I still love your mom and everything
04:31We're good friends
04:32I know
04:33You know, she likes classical music and petite fours
04:36And I like ice fishing and Twinkies
04:38And plus, she's real organized and ambitious and driven
04:42And, well, I'm me!
04:46I like ice fishing and Twinkies
04:49And classical music and petite fours
04:54I know
04:56And that's why you're my little girl
04:58I think I got one!
05:00No way!
05:01Are you a kid?
05:02I haven't caught anything here in six years!
05:04Look! There it is!
05:15Well, here we are!
05:16I picked this place!
05:18Wow! I can't believe I'm going to live here!
05:21It's like a palace!
05:23Hey! I guess that makes me a princess!
05:27Yeah, well, looks like that makes me the troll!
05:33Hurry, Victor!
05:34They're here!
05:35Hey!
05:36There she is!
05:37Mommy, welcome home!
05:38I miss you!
05:39Look at you!
05:40You look bigger!
05:41Mommy, Victor!
05:42What's up, Tiger?
05:43Hi, Victor!
05:46Hey, buddy!
05:47Well, hey, welcome home!
05:50Hi, Larry!
05:51Hey!
05:52So, did you two have a good time together?
05:53Of course we did!
05:55Look at her!
05:55She's a little princess!
05:56We had fun, didn't we?
05:57We had tons of fun!
05:58We went skating!
06:00We went sledding!
06:01We played hockey!
06:03And today, we went ice fishing!
06:05Ice fishing?
06:07How outdoorsy!
06:08Yeah!
06:08And I caught a fish!
06:10Show him, Daddy!
06:11Sure did!
06:11Let's try it!
06:12Look at that!
06:13Look how fat that is!
06:14That's a big one!
06:15Might even be pregnant!
06:16How was the honeymoon?
06:18Oh, fantastic!
06:19A week in St. Croix, another sailing around the islands.
06:24Victor has his own boat.
06:26Wow!
06:27So, I guess it was your second best honeymoon.
06:29I think you forget ours, huh?
06:32Sizzler in a movie, huh?
06:34That was some good steak.
06:36Yeah, that's big time.
06:37Well, I'm not gonna brag about it.
06:40Congratulations, Victor.
06:41Now, when she refers to her idiot husband,
06:44she'll be talking about you instead of me.
06:47Larry!
06:49Well, you're just getting nowhere on your decorations.
06:51A little late, isn't it?
06:52Well, Trish told me how much Noel loves Christmas.
06:55I love it!
06:57Oh, he may have gone a little overboard.
07:00No.
07:03So?
07:04What do you think?
07:05Wow!
07:07It's so pretty.
07:09Anything for you, Sugar Plum?
07:11It's our first Christmas together.
07:12I wanted it to be a memorable one.
07:15Mmm, sugar cookies!
07:17Oh, after you wash your hands.
07:20You gotta get that fish smell off of there.
07:23Larry, how about a cup of coffee?
07:24Hey, I could go for that.
07:26Love it.
07:26Love coffee.
07:27Ah, Victor, have it.
07:28Please.
07:37So, how's the business?
07:39Sorry.
07:39You go first.
07:40Oh, you do it!
07:41How's the trucking business?
07:42Uh, part-time, right?
07:44Well, yeah, it's part-time, but see, that's how I like it.
07:47Part-time is good.
07:49That gives me more time to spend with my daughter.
07:56So, how's the, uh, cardboard box business treating you?
08:00Great.
08:01Baxter Box Company is up, uh, 20% this year.
08:04Online sales are booming.
08:06I mean, all those packages have to be shipped somewhere, right?
08:10What do you mean?
08:11My grandfather would be proud.
08:13Yep.
08:13I built Baxter Box into an empire.
08:17What's this little deal right here?
08:19Look at that little box.
08:20What, do you add water and it gets bigger?
08:23It's a little something I had made for the holidays to give the workers at the company.
08:27You know what?
08:28Take it.
08:28It's my gift to you.
08:30Really?
08:30Yeah.
08:33It's, uh, it's for decoration.
08:35You can display it on your desk.
08:37Well, I don't got a desk.
08:47Coffee's ready.
08:48Oh, yes.
08:49Hey, yeah, boy, I'll tell you what, I could go for a steaming cup of Joe Pelt right now.
08:53She goes back to school January 5th, so for the rest of Noelle's vacation, we'll just alternate days, as always,
08:59with me and Victor getting Christmas Eve this year and you getting Christmas Day.
09:04Yeah, that sounds good.
09:05I'm in.
09:06That's, wait, he gets Christmas Day?
09:08Yeah.
09:09Well, we switch off every year.
09:11Alternate.
09:11This year, it's Larry's turn.
09:13I understand that.
09:14It's just, you know, it's our first Christmas as a family.
09:17I just thought we'd be together.
09:19First one.
09:20Ever.
09:20Victor, I get it one year, you get the next year.
09:23That's how it operates.
09:24Of course.
09:25I just, I just, it's Christmas Day.
09:27But, you know, Christmas morning, the presents under the tree, opening gifts, the Christmas
09:33dinner with all the trimmings.
09:35I got trimmings.
09:36I make delicious trimmings.
09:38Why can't I just do both?
09:41Spend half a Christmas with Dad and then go to Mom Bakters.
09:46That's a great idea.
09:49Come on, Dad.
09:51Please, Dad.
09:52Please.
09:56All right.
09:57We'll think of something.
09:58All right.
09:58We'll figure it out.
10:00Yay!
10:00I did two Christmases!
10:09Sorry, Larry.
10:10Victor's just so excited about being a stepdad.
10:13He wants to spend as much time as possible with Noel.
10:15Well, what's done is done.
10:19I tell you what, we'll go ahead and have Christmas number one at my house and then I'll bring
10:24her over here and you guys can have Christmas number two.
10:26Thanks, Larry.
10:28And I'll, I'll talk to Victor about how to handle these things in the future.
10:32All right.
10:33Dad, wait!
10:34Victor's gonna put on the Christmas lights!
10:36Okay, you ready?
10:37Come on.
10:37Honey, let's go.
10:38Here we go.
10:39Ready?
10:40One, two, three.
10:44Wow!
10:46Wow!
10:48Victor, that's amazing!
10:50Dad, have you ever seen something so beautiful?
10:54Yeah, it's something, all right.
10:55It is something, that's for sure.
10:57This is going to be the best Christmas ever!
11:05See y'all later.
11:07Good night, Daddy.
11:08Good night, darling.
11:10Hey, Ben Franklin, you got a bulb out.
11:15It's all right, honey.
11:17You did good.
11:26No way.
11:28He actually called her my little sugar plug.
11:30Yeah.
11:30I was standing right there.
11:32Wow.
11:33Even I know that's a violation of Daddy's stepdaddy protocol.
11:37You gonna kick his butt like you did Kip Kornhausen?
11:40Kip Kornhausen?
11:41Oh, man.
11:43That was in third grade.
11:44No, I'm not gonna kick his butt.
11:46I'm gonna teach him a lesson, though.
11:49When it comes to Christmas spirit,
11:51I'm fit to be Victor's worst nightmare.
11:53But the toy every little girl and boy wants for Christmas
11:57is Harrison, the talking bear.
11:59Hey, check this out.
12:00Using a sophisticated computer chip,
12:03Harrison can learn up to 300 words, including a child's name.
12:08Hi.
12:09I'm Harrison.
12:10What's your name?
12:12Margo.
12:13Nice to meet you, Margo.
12:15Let's be friends.
12:17Well, if you want one in time for Christmas,
12:19well, you better hurry.
12:21Supplies are limited, and they're not...
12:23Man, I wish I had one of those when I was a kid.
12:26What?
12:27There it is right there.
12:28Christmas lights 100 foot for $32.99.
12:31So if I wanna get as many as Victor's got,
12:34let's see, that's gonna run me about, uh,
12:38a liver and two kidneys.
12:40Oh, boy.
12:42You know he's gonna have a whole winter wonderland
12:43over there for her,
12:44and I can't really compete with his wallet,
12:46so I'm gonna have to use my head.
12:48I'll take the wallet for first-round knockout.
12:51Thanks for the vote of confidence there, Mags.
12:53It's on the house, Larry.
12:58Wait a minute.
12:59I got a great idea.
13:01Come on.
13:05Well, that about does it.
13:07We're all done.
13:08That's it.
13:09That's the last part.
13:11You know, using these used car parts,
13:12Larry, was a great idea.
13:14This thing's gonna look amazing.
13:16Darn right it will.
13:17Tell you what, Victor can put that in his wallet
13:18and sit on it.
13:19You're not gonna find better Christmas lights
13:21than that anywhere.
13:22Not even at Kmart.
13:24Speaking of the devil...
13:25Well, looky here.
13:29This is gonna be fun.
13:31Hi, Daddy!
13:32Hey!
13:34What's this?
13:38Looks like you're using a lot of electricity, Larry.
13:41You sure this thing is safe?
13:42Come on, now.
13:43Of course it is.
13:43I rigged it myself.
13:44Obviously it's safe.
13:46All right.
13:48Oh, for Pete's sake.
13:51Plod, would you get up here?
13:53All right.
13:55In honor of Christmas and Noel,
13:57I bring to everybody
14:01Larry's Spectacular Parade of Lights.
14:03Use it, please, Claude.
14:09All right.
14:15That ought to be in some kind of a home and garden magazine
14:17right there.
14:18That's unbelievable.
14:21Oh!
14:23Oh!
14:24Oh!
14:29Oh!
14:32What do you think of that, sweetheart?
14:34It's awesome!
14:35It's glorious!
14:37And now I present to you
14:39the grand finale,
14:41as they say in French,
14:42the peace
14:43of the resistance.
14:51Daddy!
14:54Daddy?
14:55Harry, are you okay?
14:58Am I in heaven?
15:01No.
15:02Hi, Victor.
15:05I'm sorry.
15:06There was a Power Ideas last night,
15:08so we couldn't make pancakes this morning
15:10or bake Christmas cookies last night.
15:12It's okay.
15:12I can bake cookies later with Chef Felipe.
15:15Who's Chef Felipe?
15:17It's Victor Chef.
15:18Chef?
15:19I bet Victor Chef ain't got fruity pebbles.
15:22How's them fruity pebbles?
15:23Delish.
15:24Ha, ha, ha.
15:25That's right.
15:26They're delicious.
15:26Dad,
15:27I think we need a new holiday tree.
15:31What's wrong with that one?
15:32That's one of them
15:32little Charlie Brown trees.
15:34He's so cute.
15:38I like the smell of Mommy and Victor's better.
15:43And it doesn't have enough room for presents.
15:48Why don't you and me
15:49go shopping for a big old Christmas tree?
15:52Yay, cool beans!
15:56Can I have this one?
15:57It's almost as big as the one
15:59that Mommy and Victor have at their house.
16:01Yeah, but honey, that thing's $300.
16:03I mean, that's crazy.
16:04$300, it ought to already have presents underneath it.
16:09You know what, sugar?
16:10Picking the Christmas tree is like picking a boyfriend.
16:12Trust me, you can't just settle on the first one.
16:14Or the second one, or the third, or the fourth, or the fifth.
16:17Okay, I get it, Dad.
16:18Hey, can I get apple cider?
16:22I'll tell you what, that's the best idea I've heard all day.
16:25Here you go, get me one if it's not $300.
16:28Okay.
16:35So, you like what you see?
16:38Uh, I plead the fifth.
16:41Uh-oh.
16:42Well, we have a wide variety of trees here.
16:44I see.
16:45If you want a fir tree, we've got Douglas fir,
16:47we've got Noble fir, we've got Conkler fir,
16:50we've got Canaan fir.
16:51But you know what?
16:51You look more like a pine guy to me.
16:54Do I look like a pine guy?
16:55Uh-huh.
16:56Here I thought I was more of a Conkler.
16:58Boy, all these years I've been living a lie.
17:00Well, we have white pine, Virginia pine, and Scotch pine.
17:04So, what's your pleasure?
17:05I want something very special.
17:07And cheap.
17:08Special and cheap, huh?
17:10Yeah.
17:10Well, the ones that are cheaper tend to be on the more sparse side.
17:14But you can cover it up if you flock it.
17:16Flocked?
17:17This one right here is only $165.
17:21$165.
17:22How much is the flocking?
17:23Oh, the flocking's free.
17:25You know what?
17:26I'll just take the flocking.
17:28Well, you could go for this little guy over here.
17:30He might be more in your price range.
17:33What in tarnation is that thing?
17:36That is a special order.
17:3850-foot Norway spruce shipped from Maine.
17:4150 foot?
17:42It costs $10,000.
17:44$10,000?
17:47What kind of blockhead buys a Christmas tree for $10,000?
17:50I can tell her.
17:52Okay.
17:53Yeah, yeah.
17:53That's great.
17:54Oh, never mind.
17:56Hey, can you give me a second?
17:57I want to take that tree out.
17:58Sure.
17:59That's something else.
18:03Couldn't find anything bigger?
18:05Just kidding.
18:06Thank you very much.
18:07It's fantastic.
18:10Hey, Trish.
18:11Oh.
18:11Oh, it's perfect.
18:13Noelle's gonna love it.
18:13It's gonna be the best tree lighting ever.
18:16Victor, I get that Baxter Box always goes to town's tree lighting ceremony,
18:19but do you really have to buy the town a $10,000 tree?
18:23Are you trying to run for mayor or something?
18:25No, no, hon.
18:26I'm just trying to buy some goodwill and affection here.
18:29I just figure the bigger the tree, the more the affection, right?
18:32Oh, so he's trying to buy Noelle's love.
18:35My little girl's love ain't for sale for anybody.
18:38Oh, sorry.
18:39Hey!
18:40Yo!
18:41I'm in here!
18:42Turn it off!
18:43I can't see!
18:45Turn it off!
18:46Somebody turn this machine off!
18:48I can't see!
18:50I can't see!
18:51I can't see!
18:55Turn it off!
18:56Dad!
18:57What happened?
18:59Well, I hope somebody got the license plate of that pigeon.
19:03You want to have a snowball fight?
19:05Huh?
19:06Come on!
19:13Yeah!
19:14Bouchy!
19:15Yeah!
19:15Ha ha ha!
19:17Na na na na na!
19:19You missed me!
19:22No, no, no!
19:24Yeah!
19:24You have got a really good arm!
19:26Yeah!
19:32Gotcha!
19:33Ha ha!
19:34I should check it out!
19:36No!
19:37Okay, this is war!
19:38Yeah!
19:39No!
19:40No!
19:40No!
19:41No!
19:41No!
19:42No!
19:44No!
19:45No!
19:46No!
19:55No!
19:56I hit you a hundred times.
19:59I got you a million and ninety-eight.
20:05Hey, you two have fun?
20:07We had tons of fun.
20:08I totally nailed Victor.
20:10Good for you.
20:12Well, your lunch is ready for you in the kitchen.
20:14And remember, we're dropping you off your dads at three.
20:18We have enough time for another snowball fight after lunch.
20:21Right, Victor?
20:23You wouldn't be interested in peace talks, would you?
20:26Not a chance.
20:29I had a lot of fun with you, Victor.
20:35Oh, me too.
20:37You're almost as much fun as my dad.
20:45Almost as much fun as Larry.
20:52I can't compete with that guy.
20:56Skating, sledding, hockey, ice fishing.
21:00He's like a big, squishy teddy bear.
21:03This isn't a competition, Victor.
21:05You're Noelle's dad, too.
21:07Dad number two.
21:09Second best.
21:10Runner-up.
21:11A substitute.
21:14Not the real thing, but a startling simulation.
21:17Dad, too, as in Dad, also.
21:21Your job is to be there for Noelle.
21:24Same as Larry.
21:26That's all that matters.
21:28Okay?
21:34Okay.
21:42I'm telling you, Clyde.
21:44Bitch, you may have a snow machine, but Noelle is going to love this.
21:47Larry, this is crazy.
21:49Yeah, but this is a real good kind of crazy.
21:52Who needs a snow machine when you've got real snow?
21:57Go like this.
21:58It's better on your back.
22:06When is he going to be here?
22:07I'm sure he'll be here soon, honey.
22:10Hopefully in the next year.
22:12It's Larry.
22:14There he is.
22:18Hey!
22:19Hey!
22:19Hey!
22:21You were something like I'd never seen.
22:24Hi, Daddy!
22:25Where's my little girl?
22:30Oh, good night, Larch.
22:32Whoa, you're getting big.
22:33We've been waiting for a half hour, Larry.
22:35Where have you been?
22:36I got a surprise for Noelle.
22:38A surprise?
22:39What is it?
22:39What is it?
22:40How would you like to have some real snow at Christmas?
22:43We already have snow at Victor's.
22:45I know, but that's that fake stuff.
22:47I mean, real snow.
22:48Just come out of the sky and everything.
22:50It's real snow, not that synthetic, man-made, polyester stuff that you got at your house.
22:55This is real.
22:57That would be awesome!
22:59Darn right it would be.
23:00Let's show these non-believers, Larry.
23:02Oh, boy.
23:03Up until Dad's gonna be excited.
23:04This is the best idea I ever had.
23:05Get ready to be bulldozed!
23:08Ah!
23:09Ah!
23:09Ah!
23:12Ah!
23:13Ah!
23:15Ah!
23:15Ah!
23:16Ah!
23:17Ah!
23:17Ah!
23:20Ah!
23:21Ah!
23:23Ah!
23:24Ah!
23:26Ah!
23:26It's a tickle monster!
23:28All right, you goof.
23:29Time for bed.
23:32Good night, Dad.
23:33Thanks for the snow.
23:34I really liked it.
23:36Even though it was melted and everything.
23:39Ah, sweetie.
23:40That's nice of you.
23:41I appreciate it.
23:43Listen.
23:44I love you.
23:45Good night.
23:45Now, you have a good night's sleep, okay?
23:47Good night, Daddy.
23:49Good night, sweetie.
24:00I don't know, Claude.
24:01I just can't catch a break.
24:03I don't know how I can compete with Victor.
24:06No, it's tough.
24:07I'll give you that.
24:08He's younger, richer, more educated.
24:12He's in great shape.
24:13Much, much, much better looking.
24:15All right, I get the point.
24:17Look, the more important question is, why do you feel the need to compete with Victor?
24:22Noelle doesn't care about that stuff.
24:24She loves you for you, Larry.
24:26I am pretty lovable.
24:30Good night, Larry.
24:33See you later, Claude.
24:42Is my angel ready to order?
24:44I sure am.
24:46I was referring to the little angel.
24:48Oh, sorry.
24:49My usual, Maggie, please.
24:52PB and J, light on the PB and heavy on the J.
24:56Correct.
24:57You know what?
24:57I'll have the same thing I always have, too.
25:00Deep fried everything, hold the salad.
25:02Boom.
25:03Tell you what, Maggie, you know me pretty good.
25:06I got your number, Larry.
25:12So what you're working on there, your homework?
25:14My letter to Santa.
25:17Letter to Santa?
25:17I thought you got that done July 4th.
25:21There's something special I want.
25:24What is it?
25:25I can't tell you or anyone else.
25:28If I do, it won't come true.
25:31It's like making a wish.
25:33No, no, no.
25:34Don't worry.
25:35I'm not going to ruin that.
25:36But, uh, hey, can you give me a little hint?
25:40I'm asking Santa for the one thing I want more than anything in the world.
25:50Well, hey, I got an idea.
25:53There's a mailbox right over there.
25:55Why don't you give me the letter?
25:57And then I'll run it out there.
25:59Would you, Daddy?
26:01Thank you so much.
26:02You got it, Squirtle.
26:03Come, I'll be right back.
26:15Hey, Larry.
26:16Hey, Claude.
26:17What's going on?
26:17What's up, too?
26:19Noel's letter to Santa Claus.
26:21Figure what Victor can do in quantity, I can do with quality.
26:25What?
26:26You're not thinking of opening that, are you?
26:28Yeah.
26:30Of course.
26:31I mean, look, Victor can get her big old trees and a bunch of fancy lights and a bunch of
26:35fake snow.
26:37But when I see what she's got in here, what she really wants for Christmas, I can give it to
26:41her.
26:42That's a private letter.
26:44Not addressed to you.
26:45Not to mention, that's a federal crime.
26:49Claude, it's my daughter's letter to Santa Claus.
26:53I think we're going to be fine.
26:55That's just wrong.
26:56Wrong, wrong, wrong.
26:58And you see this?
26:59This is my letter to Santa Claus.
27:01If I find out you tampered with it, well, you're going to answer to me and Mr. Claus himself.
27:13Boy, who pooped in his hash browns?
27:38Oh boy, her handwriting's horrible.
27:41Just like her daddy.
27:42Dear Santa, for Christmas I want my family to get her...
27:47Her...
27:51Her...
27:52Her...
27:52Her...
27:52Her...
27:52Her...
27:52Her...
27:52Her...
27:52Son...
27:53Huh?
27:55The heck's a Her...
27:56Son...
27:57Bye-bye, Daddy!
27:59See you later, sweetheart!
28:05So, what did you and Larry do today?
28:07Not much.
28:08Uh-huh.
28:08More ice fishing?
28:10No, we just went to the diner.
28:14I wrote a letter of Santa!
28:16Oh, oh, oh, let me guess.
28:17Uh, Pixie and her Starburst buddies.
28:20Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, little Paris and her magical closet.
28:24Those are little kid toys.
28:25Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on.
28:27What, um, what did you ask Santa for?
28:31I can't tell you or else I won't get what I want.
28:34I didn't even tell Dad.
28:36Oh, oh, well, you know, we should probably mail those letters right away.
28:42So, uh, you know, I could take it for you.
28:45Dad already did.
28:47Did he?
28:48He ran right out of the diner to mail as soon as I wrote it.
28:55Really?
28:58Thanks.
28:59Excuse me.
29:04Security Welling here.
29:05Welling!
29:06I have an assignment for you.
29:10Hmm.
29:13Yes, sir.
29:14It would be my pleasure, sir.
29:31What are you up to, chubby?
29:40Oh, hey!
29:43Hi, I'm Jeffrey.
29:44Welcome to Toy Traders.
29:45Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa, and a very happy winter solstice.
29:51I think you got all the bases covered, champ.
29:53Oh, thank you.
29:54Hey, listen, I'm looking for something, but I don't quite know what I'm looking for.
29:58Okay.
29:58Uh, Harrisona.
30:03I'm sorry, I'm having a hard time reading your handwriting.
30:06Oh, that's not my handwriting.
30:07That's my daughter.
30:07She said it.
30:08Mine's a lot worse, trust me.
30:10Oh, it is?
30:11Wow.
30:12Um, yeah.
30:13You have any of those?
30:15Yeah.
30:16Uh, no clue.
30:17No idea, sir.
30:19Hmm.
30:20Wait a second.
30:21Unless she means Harrison.
30:23What's a Harrison?
30:25Harrison the Talking Bear.
30:27You are going to love this.
30:28Follow me.
30:29Yes!
30:30Why, Harrison the Talking Bear?
30:32Haven't you heard?
30:32It's only the most popular toy amongst the coveted 5- to 10-year-old age demographic.
30:37So, the bear learns the kids' names, and then sends it back to them.
30:42It's the hottest toy this season.
30:44Really?
30:44Oh, yeah.
30:45That bear?
30:45They love it.
30:46That's what kids are going nuts over.
30:48Going nuts for the bear!
30:49Well, all right.
30:50I guess I'll get my daughter one.
30:51Oh, sorry.
30:52But we're all sold out.
30:53These things keep flying off the shelves as fast as we can stock them.
30:57Oh, man.
30:57My daughter really wants one of these bears.
31:00You think maybe you might have one in the back?
31:02Sorry.
31:03But?
31:05If you write your name and number down there, I will call you as soon as we get some more
31:09in.
31:10You think maybe some other stores might have one of these bears?
31:13Hmm.
31:13Maybe.
31:14But you'll have to try again tomorrow, because all the shops are closing up right now.
31:18All right.
31:19Well, looks like tomorrow, I'm going bear hunting.
31:22No, thanks for shopping at Toy Traders.
31:24Merry Christmas.
31:25Happy Holidays.
31:26Happy Hanukkah.
31:26Happy Kwanzaa.
31:27Very happy winter solstice.
31:29Okay, okay.
31:30Merry Christmas in any language.
31:31Merry Christmas.
31:32Hey.
31:33Hi, I'm Jeffrey.
31:35Welcome to Toy Traders.
31:36Can I help you out with anything?
31:38A Harrison talking bear.
31:40Are you sure?
31:41That's what he asked for.
31:42He seemed really desperate to get it.
31:45So Noel wants a Harrison talking bear.
31:49And to your knowledge, he hasn't found one yet?
31:52Nope.
31:53All the other stores are closed.
31:54Although he'll certainly be out looking for one tomorrow.
31:57Good.
32:00I have another assignment for you.
32:09Five more minutes.
32:11Give me five more minutes.
32:1611.30.
32:47If I could have just one thing
32:50I'd make it everything
32:52Yeah, I want it on both Christmas
32:55Christmas, oh Christmas
33:00Hi, this is me, Harris
33:01I got the holiday wrapped up tight
33:16Get you ready for the Christmas night
33:18I don't think I asked for much
33:23Interested in a certain search
33:26Bring it up
33:34Let's load him up and move him out
33:43Wrap it up, wrap it up
33:48Yeah, yeah, yeah
33:51Oh, babe
33:51Wrap it up, yeah, yeah
33:55Wrap it up, yeah, yeah
33:57It's all the world for Christmas
34:02Hi, excuse me
34:12Mine
34:22Yeah, I understand
34:24Well, let me ask you
34:25You gonna be getting any more Harrison Bears in?
34:28Well, I'm glad it's the daggum funny
34:32Still no luck?
34:34Nothing
34:34Tried every toy store, then 500 miles
34:38Waynesville, Morgantown, Boone
34:39They're all sold out
34:41Well, what about online?
34:44eBay?
34:45They got rush delivery, right?
34:47As soon as they get to him, he's on the 26th
34:49I need it on Christmas, not the day after
34:51Well, I'm sure that she'll love whatever you got her
34:56Yeah, that's the problem
34:59I didn't get her nothing yet
35:02Planting ahead, I see
35:04Maggie, it ain't easy
35:05Back in the day when she was littler
35:07You know, going to some toy store
35:09Get her some kind of a doll with pink on it
35:12Or some kind of unicorn or bunny
35:13Or something with a magic wand
35:16She's older now
35:17It just doesn't work, it's a lot harder
35:21I gotta get that bear
35:29Here's Larry
35:30Hey, this is Jeffrey calling from Toy Traders
35:32You signed up for the Harrison wait list?
35:34Well, I'm calling to tell you
35:36That we have more Harrison bears just arrived
35:38They'll be available tomorrow morning
35:40On a first-come, first-served basis
35:41So get here early
35:44Oh, man
35:45I don't believe it
35:46I got me a Harrison bear
35:51Pie for everybody
35:52You're the only one here, Larry
35:56Well, I'll take theirs
36:03Hey, Mr. Welling
36:05Hey, this is Jeffrey calling from Toy Traders
36:08Well, I'm calling to tell you some really, really good news
36:12Let's see
36:13First-come, first-served
36:15What time do you open?
36:18And we'll see you then
36:31I'm awake
36:31I'm awake
36:38Yeah, you're a pretty good dad, Larry
36:43I bet Victor wouldn't do this for Noel
36:47Oh, man
36:49You gotta be kidding me
36:51Hey, is everybody in this line to buy a Harrison bear?
36:55That's right, friend
36:58What some people won't do to get a toy, huh?
37:01Yeah
37:03It's crazy
37:11How you doing?
37:13Some bear
37:15No, no, no
37:15I put one on hold
37:20Good morning, everyone
37:22Thank you for waiting outside all night long
37:24I am thrilled to let you know
37:26That we have a new shipment of Harrison bears
37:33Okay, one at a time
37:35Let's slow down
37:36Pick a time
37:37There's no rush
37:42Where are these bears?
37:47What?
37:48There's nothing here
37:50Oh, man, this can't be happening
37:52Hey, where are all the bears?
37:55Yeah
37:55Where's the new shipment?
37:57I'm sorry, everyone
37:58But the Harrison bears have sold out
38:00What?
38:01Oh, come on
38:02Thank you for shopping at Toy Traders
38:06And have a very merry Christmas
38:08A happy holidays
38:08Happy Hanukkah
38:10Happy Kwanzaa
38:10And a very happy winter solstice
38:13You mean to tell me that thing sold out in five minutes?
38:16More like 30 seconds
38:18First customer just came and bought them all
38:20Oh, he bought every one of them bears
38:23Yeah
38:23All 50 of them
38:25Guess he's got a lot of kids
38:26Did you guy like some kind of a one per family limit or something?
38:30Well, I told you it was first come, first serve
38:33Boy
38:35You know what?
38:36I hope you have a sucky holiday
38:38A sucky Christmas
38:39A sucky Hanukkah
38:40A sucky Kwanzaa
38:41A sucky winter salsa
38:46What are you looking at?
38:47You started the whole thing
38:49Oh, okay
38:51Well, it looks like someone's gonna get coal in their stocking this year
38:54When the coal
38:55When the fairies put the coal
38:57And you just wish you had something other than coal
39:06Hey
39:13You're the guy at the front of the line
39:14Are you the guy that's been buying up all these bears?
39:18First come, first serve
39:20You got like 50 of them
39:21How many kids you got?
39:22I have a lot of nephews and nieces
39:24Hey, listen
39:26You think maybe you could spare me one of them?
39:29I mean, I'll give you a hundred dollars
39:32A hundred bucks, one bear
39:34Sorry
39:35Man, look, I'm des-
39:36Man, I'm really desperate
39:37I'd love to have one of those
39:38Damn
39:39What?
39:39Ah, jeez
39:42I'll go
39:42If you'll excuse me
39:44I have a lot more holiday shopping to attend to
39:53If I wouldn't pull a Christmas spirit
39:54I'd have knocked him out
39:59And you're certain
40:00There's not a single Harrison bear on any shelf in town
40:04Uh-huh
40:06Thank you, Welling
40:10Noelle
40:11Your dad's here
40:15Bye, Sweet Pea
40:16Bye, Mom
40:19So, how's everything, Larry?
40:21Oh, awesome
40:22Real good
40:23Couldn't be better
40:23Doing any last-minute Christmas shopping?
40:25A little bit
40:25You?
40:26Nope, nope, no
40:27I think I got it pretty much wrapped up this year
40:28Good
40:29In fact, I think this is going to turn out to be an extra special Christmas for someone we both
40:33know
40:36You two have fun
40:40Come on, Dad
40:48Wow, this is looking really great
40:50You're darn right it does
40:52Look at it
40:53Dad, you're eating all the shingles
40:56I know
40:57It's pathetic, ain't it?
41:00Here I thought I'd be pulled after the chimney
41:04Don't worry, sweetheart
41:05I got enough shingles for 10,000 gingerbread houses
41:09Hey
41:10I bet Victor doesn't have time to make a gingerbread house with you like I do
41:15No
41:16He's been awfully busy
41:17I mean, some big project called
41:21Operation Who's Your Daddy
41:26Let me ask you something
41:27You didn't happen to tell Victor was in that letter you wrote to Santa Claus, did you?
41:31Oh, no, Dad
41:31I want to do anything that might keep me from getting what I asked for
41:36Boy, you really want that thing, don't you?
41:39Whatever it is
41:41Uh, hey, sweetheart, let me ask you something
41:45What if Santa Claus isn't able to get you what you asked for?
41:48Oh, no, Dad, don't even say that
41:50I know Santa will come through
41:53He just has to
42:06You haven't even touched your pie
42:08Oh, Maggie
42:10I ain't got much of an appetite
42:12Maybe I should take your pulse to see if you're still alive
42:15It's a dead gum stuffed bear
42:17It's stressing me out
42:18You haven't found one yet?
42:20No, them stuffed bears are rarer than a cab driver with fresh breath
42:26Hey, maybe you should ask those ladies where they got theirs
42:30Hurry!
42:31That's a Harrison bear
42:33I'll be right back
42:38Excuse me, ladies
42:39Excuse me, ladies
42:40Hold on
42:42I'm desperate
42:43It's about your bear
42:44What about the bear?
42:46Well, I want it and I was wondering if anybody
42:48No
42:49You're the fifth person in the last hour to ask us about it
42:52And we're telling you like we told all the others
42:54It's not for sale at any price
42:56No, I don't want to buy it
42:57I was just saying
42:58Oh, so you just want to take it
43:00Nobody takes this bear
43:02It's for our grandniece
43:04No, I think you're misunderstanding
43:06We're warning you
43:07We've taken a senior citizen self-defense class
43:10Huh?
43:11Stop!
43:12I...
43:14That'll teach ya
43:15Don't mess with a senior
43:16Hmm
43:18There you go
43:19The nerve
43:20We're sure
43:21Oh, too long Christmas is getting violent
43:30Harrison Bear
43:33Rooster's Tavern
43:34Reindeer charity fundraiser
43:38Yeah
43:42Welcome, ladies and gentlemen
43:45And the Rooster's Tavern's Annual
43:47Fucking Reindeer charity fundraiser
43:53Hooray!
43:55I'm not too crazy about this
43:57We have ten very brave Santas up here
44:00Willing to risk life and limb
44:03And help raise money to St. Luke's Children's Hospital
44:06By trying to see how long
44:08They can stay open
44:12I mean, I've never ridden a mechanical reindeer before
44:14Neither have I
44:15But the way I figure it
44:17Oak's Office Riding it
44:18Gives us a better chance
44:18Of wearing that Harrison Bear down there
44:20For Noelle
44:20And the Santa who stays on the longest
44:22Will win our grand prize!
44:27Ho, ho, ho!
44:28We got it, we got it
44:30Better give up now, fellas
44:31Because my boy wants that bear for Christmas
44:33And I never let my boy down
44:35Yeah, well, my little girl wants it, too
44:37And I never let my little girl down
44:40Tell you something
44:40It ain't over till it's over
44:42Oh, it's over
44:43Let the game begin!
44:47Santa number one!
44:48Victory!
44:49That's Santa number one up here
44:50Are you ready?
44:51Santa number one!
44:53On your mark
44:54Can shut this ride!
45:04He's holding on for two of us!
45:05He's holding on!
45:07Thank you!
45:08He's off!
45:09We've got his score!
45:11Seven seconds!
45:12Not a bad start, Santa number one
45:14But let's get the second Santa Claus up here!
45:16Good luck, Claude
45:17You can do it, Claude!
45:19Stay on her, buddy!
45:21Santa number two, are you ready?
45:23I'm ready
45:25Ready?
45:25Set?
45:26Let's ride!
45:28One more!
45:29Come on!
45:30That was
45:31Anchor today
45:33How long did I go for?
45:34You were on board
45:37One second!
45:38One second!
45:39One second, everybody
45:41Keep it going for Santa
45:42Santa number three!
45:43Let's ride!
45:49Let's ride!
45:51The community's got nine seconds!
46:00Let's ride!
46:02Woo!
46:04Yeah!
46:04Yeah!
46:04Yeah!
46:05Yeah!
46:06Let's ride!
46:07Let's ride!
46:10Yeah!
46:11Oh!
46:12Oh!
46:12Oh!
46:13Yeah!
46:13Santa number seven!
46:15Come on down!
46:17Woo-hoo!
46:17Oh!
46:19Oh!
46:19Let's ride!
46:21Let's ride!
46:21Woo-hoo!
46:22Number seven throwing on!
46:24Woo-yah!
46:26He's got his favorite turn!
46:28Oh my gosh!
46:30Look at this guy go!
46:31Oh!
46:32He's still hanging on!
46:33He's holding on for dear mate!
46:35He's still going!
46:37He's still going!
46:37He's feeling like-
46:39You're gonna be kidding me!
46:40Number seven, 22 seconds.
46:48You've done it, number seven.
46:49What are you going to do, Larry?
46:51You can't hold on for 23 seconds.
46:53I want to get something out of my truck.
46:54Come on.
46:55Let me tell you something.
46:56This glue is going to give me the edge I need.
46:58Do me a favor.
46:59Get my backside, would you?
47:00Oh, that's disgusting.
47:01Would you just do my backside there?
47:03Do you want Noel to win that bear or not?
47:05Oh, yeah.
47:07Do not forget, you must get at least 23 seconds on the bull to win the grand prize.
47:14Let's go, boys.
47:15Let's run.
47:17Come on, Timmy.
47:21He's a tornado in the back of the ring.
47:26How fast does this thing go?
47:28Okay.
47:29Go.
47:29Go.
47:30Go.
47:31Go.
47:31Go.
47:32Go.
47:32Go.
47:32Go.
47:33Go.
47:33Go.
47:33Go.
47:34Go.
47:35Go.
48:00He's done it in 31 seconds.
48:03We got a new champion!
48:05I won!
48:07I won!
48:0831 seconds, you hear?
48:10You have won yourself
48:13a weekend for two
48:14in the beautiful, romantic
48:17Pocono Mountains!
48:20Pocono?
48:21Alright! No, no, no, I wanted the bear.
48:23I thought first prize
48:25was the bear. Well done.
48:27Now, in second place,
48:29rider number seven,
48:30you have won Harrison
48:32the Talking Bear!
48:34I won?
48:38My boy's gonna have the best
48:40Christmas ever!
48:42Oh, yeah! Number two!
48:44Give it up for number two!
48:46Oh, yeah!
48:48Now, what am I gonna do with the trip to the Poconos?
48:51I'll go with you.
48:53Come on, Claude.
48:56Boy, it's breezy in here.
48:59I'll tell you,
48:59Claude. I don't know.
49:01I know this, though. At this rate,
49:04I'm never gonna get one of them
49:06bears.
49:14What is going on?
49:20Harrison loves to play!
49:22Anybody in the air?
49:24That tickles!
49:26I'm baby Harrison.
49:28Time for a nap!
49:31Hi, Heidi-ho!
49:32I'm Harrison!
49:40This is fun! Harrison loves exercise!
49:44Where are all these bears coming from?
49:47How are you? How are you?
49:49Hey, did you get any more of them talking bears in?
49:52Oh, hey! We certainly do!
49:53Oh, man, everybody's got one but me. Can I have one?
49:56Yes, you can.
49:57Yes, you can.
49:58Hi, I'm Larry the Loser Bear.
50:00Get her done.
50:02Hey, that ain't a Harrison Bear.
50:03That's a me bear!
50:04Why, this is the second most popular toy
50:06amongst the coveted five- to ten-year-old age demographic.
50:09Second most?
50:10Well, what's the most popular?
50:12This one.
50:14Hi-dee-ho!
50:15I'm Victor the Talking Bear.
50:16I'm the best dad ever,
50:18and I'll buy whatever your little heart desires.
50:24I love that one!
50:25Every kid in America wants one of these.
50:27A Victor Bear?
50:29Daddy, can I please have it?
50:31That's the thing!
50:32I want more than anything for Christmas!
50:44I'm here at Town Hall,
50:46where they're setting up a soup kitchen for the homeless.
50:48As you can see, there are some wonderful toys
50:50that will be handed out at noon today
50:53to needy boys and girls by none other
50:55than Santa himself.
50:57Ho, ho, ho!
50:59Merry Christmas!
51:01Thank you, Santa.
51:02I'm Margot Price, Channel One News.
51:04Thanks, Margot.
51:05Oh, man.
51:07You could not be thinking what you're thinking right now.
51:18Are you happy?
51:20I'm so glad you're thinking.
51:27Ugh!
51:31No guilt, Larry.
51:32Come on.
51:35Yeah, this $500 donation way makes up for that bear.
51:39All right.
51:42Larry?
51:43Larry Phillips?
51:44Yeah.
51:45Is that you?
51:46Oh, hey, Janie.
51:48Uh, how's tricks?
51:49Good, good.
51:50I was just dropping off some presents
51:52to donate for the charity event.
51:54I haven't seen you since we graduated from high school.
51:57I know.
51:58It's been a long time.
51:59All right, then.
52:00Larry, don't give up.
52:02You know?
52:03It's bound to get better.
52:05Oh, no, Janie.
52:06I'm doing fine, really.
52:07These are, uh...
52:08These are just old clothes.
52:09It's wash day.
52:10I hope this isn't because I dumped you, Larry.
52:14Well, hold on a second.
52:15I...
52:15I kind of remember that differently.
52:17It was kind of mutual.
52:19Oh, okay.
52:19I have to go to church, but it was really good seeing you again.
52:24And...
52:24You too.
52:24And I'm sure this is all just a little rough patch.
52:27Oh.
52:27You know?
52:28And I just want you to be brave.
52:31I don't need money, Janie.
52:33Larry, there is no shame in accepting help.
52:37You poor, poor man.
52:40I don't...
52:41What?
52:4220 bucks?
52:43Boy.
52:45I'm in the wrong business.
52:48Ho, ho, ho, ho.
52:51Well, I think I got something very nice for you.
52:57Merry Christmas.
53:01I hear you want a doggy for Christmas.
53:04Ho, ho, ho.
53:05Well, we just happen to have one here.
53:09Here you go.
53:11Merry Christmas.
53:13Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho.
53:15Oh.
53:17That's what makes it all worthwhile.
53:21Whoa.
53:22How you doing, Santa?
53:23Are you kidding me?
53:25You're cutting off the circulation in my legs.
53:28Come on.
53:28The real Santa Claus wouldn't care about stuff like that.
53:31Oh, yeah?
53:32Well, real Santa Claus is kind of busy this time of year,
53:34you might have noticed.
53:35Look, I'm here for my daughter.
53:37Oh, yeah?
53:38Why isn't she here herself?
53:40Well, I'll be honest with you.
53:40She's kind of scared of Santa Claus.
53:42How does a kid not like Santa Claus?
53:44Well, I don't know.
53:45I guess she must have sat on some Santa's lap
53:47that was sweating real bad and had bad breath
53:49and asked a lot of nosy questions.
53:51Okay, okay.
53:53Here you go.
53:54Ho, ho, this is for your daughter.
53:57She don't want that.
53:57She wants that Harrison bear.
53:58Can I get that Harrison bear?
54:00She's gonna love the dog.
54:01Santa Claus, I am not leaving your lap
54:02until I get that Harrison bear.
54:04Oh, as a matter of fact,
54:05I had some Mexican food last night
54:06and it's starting to bubble up on me.
54:08Oh, you're gonna give me that bear
54:09because if I explode on you,
54:11you're gonna have to call Roto-Rooter for some backup.
54:13Oh!
54:13Give this guy his bear.
54:15All right.
54:15Give him his bear.
54:18Oh, man.
54:20Santa Claus, you just made a dad
54:22and a little girl really happy.
54:24Oh, hi.
54:24I'm Harrison.
54:25I'm going for my bear.
54:27Woo!
54:27I got a new bear.
54:30Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho.
54:32I got a bear.
54:33I got a bear.
54:35Got me a Harrison bear.
54:36I can't believe I got a bear.
54:39Whoa!
54:39Is that a Harrison bear?
54:41Sure is, buddy.
54:42I got it for my daughter.
54:43Oh.
54:45She sure is lucky.
54:47I wanted the same thing,
54:48but Daddy says Santa's on a tight budget this year.
54:51That's terrible, Will.
54:53Maybe your daddy will come up for something
54:55and you'll have a good Christmas this year.
54:57He can't.
54:58He doesn't get out of jail till Valentine's Day.
55:02He was just trying to steal enough money
55:04so Mom could get her operation.
55:07Man, that's really sad.
55:09Oh, well.
55:10I just hope Santa doesn't forget me on Christmas
55:13like he did last year
55:15and the year before that
55:17and the year before that.
55:22Hey, kid.
55:24Catch.
55:26You're giving me your Harrison talking bear?
55:29Yeah.
55:30I figure since Santa's on a tight budget this year,
55:33I'll be Santa's helper.
55:35So, Merry Christmas.
55:39Sucka!
55:42Sucka!
55:44And that's why some couples just have pets.
55:47I've been had.
55:49Hey, bring me back that bear!
55:52Where are you?
55:53Go back in!
55:55Bring me back my bear!
56:02Excuse me. Sorry.
56:03Get out of here, mister!
56:09Get out of here, mister!
56:14Get out of here, you little punk!
56:16Now give me that bear!
56:18Brat chance, Tubby!
56:19Tubby, come on.
56:20You know that's hurtful.
56:21I'm not Tubby.
56:22I'm Big Bone.
56:23Now give me that bear!
56:24Please, mister.
56:25What?
56:25Don't take my Harrison bear.
56:27I'm begging you.
56:30My kid, just give me the bear.
56:31I won't let you take my bear, no matter how much you threaten me.
56:35Hey, hey, what's going on here?
56:36Are you threatening this little boy?
56:38I'm not threatening that little punk.
56:40He tricked me out of that bear.
56:41It was a gift from my daddy.
56:43He was in jail.
56:44And he wants to take it away from me.
56:46Oh, that's real rich, kid.
56:47That's real rich.
56:48You're pretty good, you know?
56:50Larry, just because you've fallen on hard times,
56:53that's no excuse to steal from a child.
56:57Aw, y'all are misunderstanding the whole thing about what's happening here.
57:01Oh, oh, I understand.
57:02I understand you should be put in jail.
57:04Well...
57:05Come on.
57:05Let's get him.
57:07Wait a minute.
57:08For the record, Janie, I dumped you.
57:13Oh, that's it.
57:14Let's get him!
57:15Let's get him!
57:17Let's get him!
57:33Nice work, kid.
57:35Fifty bucks is agreed.
57:39It'll be a hundred.
57:40We agreed on fifty.
57:42Delivery charges?
57:43Or do you want me to give it back to the doofus?
57:48I'm starting to feel like the doofus myself, kid.
57:51On three.
57:53One, two, three.
57:55One, two, three.
58:00Stupid bear.
58:02Ah, we're here!
58:03Hehehe.
58:03That's right.
58:04Oh, that's tickle.
58:05Oh, that's tickle.
58:06Sands, batteries!
58:06Get up!
58:07Get up!
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