- 9 hours ago
Crookhaven S01E07 (2026)
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TVTranscript
00:04Your mother replied.
00:08I only retired yesterday. How'd this get here so fast?
00:12You know I can't reveal my channels. Are you ready for today?
00:15I've been training for the trials since I was a zygote. Of course I'm ready.
00:19You're going to win. I have no doubt. Nor should you.
00:52We know what you've endured in your young life.
00:55But here, you can put all that behind you. Here, you can be safe.
01:09It's that first trial. I only wish I was there to share it with you.
01:14But I can't wait to see your name on the dishonest board when I'm back.
01:41I won't let you down, Mum.
01:46Guess what I found in my pocket?
01:48Mmm, funny. Look what I found in mine.
01:52It's a Crookhaven tradition. If you want to ask someone to the masquerade tonight, you slip one of your shillings
01:57into their pocket.
01:59How exciting.
02:01Oh, except I can't think of anyone he'd want to ask me.
02:05Aren't yourself lucky.
02:09Hey, seriously? You didn't shut up about it all crooks yet. It was genuinely less fun than being kidnapped.
02:15The problem is, Eddie, he has the soul of a poet, but he gets tongue-tied around his bae.
02:21She's not my, um...
02:22Can we just not call her my...
02:24Look, so, to help him out, Snicky, to the dance, we came up with a genius plan.
02:31This, Jesus, is our grandfather's hearing aid.
02:34Ingeniously repurposed into a hidden earpiece.
02:37I have a matching one, so I can feed lines to my bro in real time.
02:39Only slight complication. Well, it keeps picking up random radio signals.
02:45How can this possibly fail?
02:47Hey, where's Amira? Haven't seen her since Crooks yet.
02:51We should probably go check she's alive.
02:55Dorian, what are you doing?
02:58What would you say no, Edgar?
03:00She's Amira and everything, but...
03:02I want to take Chia to the masquerade.
03:04Have you lost your mind?
03:05Utterly! She's bewitched me.
03:08So, just...
03:10Let me have this one thing.
03:15So, anyway...
03:16No, I'm not buying into some pointless heteronormative ritual.
03:21Ade, you're my not-date. Deal?
03:23Deal.
03:27Correct decision.
03:33Don't even think about it.
03:35Let's not play games.
03:36We both know it's a done deal.
03:38We're the top legacies.
03:39It just makes sense.
03:40Not to me, it doesn't.
03:42I don't want to go with anyone.
03:43Reminder!
03:44The trials will push you to your physical limits.
03:47So, calm it up, Crooks.
03:49I know there's a lot on your mind, Amir.
03:51But you have to work it out.
03:53Your biggest threat isn't Edgar or Penelope.
03:56It's you.
03:57What's that supposed to mean?
03:58Your first break-in.
03:59You threw it away from Amir.
04:02Full disclosure.
04:03Shilling test.
04:04Every time.
04:05You let the motion in and then you joke.
04:07Well, not today.
04:09Look, now I know it's not just Grandma I'm fighting for.
04:11Now I know that coming here,
04:14winning the Crooked Cup,
04:18it's my destiny.
04:21What is it, Amir?
04:23Registration for the trials is now closed.
04:26Good luck to all competing.
04:27You'll need it.
04:33Want to talk about it?
04:34Oh, the trials?
04:36I mean, policies in advance for kicking you out.
04:38You don't mean the trials.
04:44So, what's the talk about?
04:46Maybe that I saved you from being kidnapped?
04:48Of course, you're going to make it all about yourself.
04:50My father told me what happened to your parents.
04:54Well, I don't know what happened to them.
04:56All I know is that they were killed by the nameless.
04:58It's weird.
05:00My whole life, I've had this,
05:02I don't know,
05:04ability,
05:05gift,
05:06curse.
05:08I mean, I remember everything.
05:11But I've got no memory
05:12of them.
05:18Tell anyone
05:19and I'll end you.
05:22But
05:24sometimes I
05:28imagine I'm talking to my mum.
05:31I can hear her voice
05:32so clearly.
05:33It's like
05:35it's like she's right there.
05:37If you close your eyes,
05:39maybe there's some part of you
05:41that can hear your mum too.
05:44Just try it.
06:00love him.
06:04Just this absence.
06:11Anyway, um,
06:12thanks for the, uh...
06:14There it is.
06:14Took you long enough.
06:16So are you,
06:17are you competing as a legacy
06:19or a merit today?
06:20Because if I were you...
06:20Merit.
06:21And it's my grandma
06:22who raised me.
06:24I mean,
06:24she's the one who's
06:25adopted me as a...
06:28What is that?
06:32Every year,
06:33me and my grandma
06:33we celebrate the day we met.
06:35Do you know what that means?
06:38It means it's also
06:39the day they died.
06:4915th of May 2011
06:50intercepted Bankrate.
06:54It was a small crew.
06:55Three of them.
06:56Sent to fall
06:57at bank robbery.
06:59They were compromised.
07:01One of them
07:02sold the others out.
07:04And they fell to the nameless.
07:07He betrayed them.
07:10Who did?
07:11Who was it that person?
07:14Diego Velasquez.
07:17There you are.
07:18We're looking all over for you.
07:20Yeah, not now, Gia.
07:21Dude,
07:22this can't wait.
07:23Come on.
07:24Uh, not you, princess.
07:32Remember, bro.
07:33I'm the driver.
07:34You're just a car.
07:35So relax.
07:36Just gotta remember
07:37your first line.
07:38Hey, Nikki.
07:39Hope I'm not interrupting.
07:40That's it, bro.
07:42You got it.
07:43I don't.
07:44I don't.
07:45Losing you.
07:46I don't.
07:47Affirmative.
07:48Lepid.
07:49Everything's set
07:50for the chameleon.
07:52I was starting to think
07:53this day would never come.
07:55I'm so sick
07:56of sweet,
07:57useless little Mickey.
08:00Can't wait to be myself again.
08:03I'll report
08:04when I've contacted
08:05the chameleon.
08:05Bro,
08:06he's a man.
08:07What happened
08:08to you, Bobby?
08:09On second dose,
08:10this was woefully misguided.
08:15I've had enough
08:16of this double life.
08:18Of hiding among you
08:20pious hypocrites.
08:22I have nothing
08:23but contempt for
08:24Crookhaven
08:24and everything
08:25it stands for.
08:26So,
08:27I'm escaping.
08:29I'm going back
08:30to join my brother
08:31where I belong.
08:33Where I can be
08:34my true self
08:36with the nameless.
08:39No way Amira
08:40robbed this.
08:42She also swore
08:43Shalma's innocent
08:43and he tried
08:44to kidnap me.
08:45She's being set up.
08:46She even told me.
08:47And I wanted to believe her.
08:48I did.
08:49This is what happens
08:50when you're too trusting.
08:51Your so-called friends
08:52betray you.
08:54All this time
08:55she was one of them.
09:01Looks like you really
09:02are a legacy.
09:10We need a full debrief.
09:12They came for Gabriel.
09:14If Whisper might have been
09:15even a minute later
09:16then...
09:16We will debrief
09:17when the time is right.
09:18For now,
09:20I need to focus
09:21on our guests.
09:23On today.
09:25The most important
09:27day
09:27of the year.
09:40I'm honoured
09:41to ferry
09:41such a fine
09:42bunch of crooks
09:43on this illustrious occasion.
09:45Of course,
09:46most of you
09:47probably need
09:47no introduction
09:48to Crookhaven.
09:50You probably
09:51came here yourselves
09:52or your parents.
09:53Maybe even both.
10:05He always told me
10:06never to trust the mayor.
10:07Now?
10:09Turns out you're right.
10:11When will you learn, Avery?
10:12I'm always right.
10:14Still,
10:15one less person
10:15for me to beat.
10:17I did think
10:18there was something
10:18unsettling about her.
10:20Now I know why.
10:22It's not right, bro.
10:24Legacies
10:25get to see
10:26their parents.
10:27Show them
10:27their crooked skills.
10:28All our smarts get is a fake report from St. Jude's Academy.
10:31I bet I don't even get a decent fake grade in fake geography.
10:34Huh?
10:36What's up with you, bro?
10:38I still don't go out for Nicky.
10:39He practiced.
10:42He was in a song.
10:44I told you.
10:46Earphone squished.
10:48I can't believe Samson Sorensen is the guest judge.
10:50Dad says he's massively overrated.
10:52What? No, no, no.
10:53Samson Sorensen, he's a legend.
10:55Dad says the only thing he's good at is burnishing his own myth.
10:57He's like one of the top five crooks of the past 30 years.
11:00He's worth 103 points on Deception deck.
11:02Look.
11:03Hmm.
11:05Do you think he'll sign it for me?
11:07If you want it to lose all value.
11:17Take a hint, Edgar.
11:20If a virus wiped up humanity
11:22and we were the last two people left on Earth,
11:24it would still be a hard pass.
11:28Nicky, will you go to the mass grave with me?
11:33You're one of the few people here I genuinely like.
11:36So, yes or no?
11:38I'd love to.
11:40Thank you, Penelope.
11:41There.
11:42Now I'm taken.
11:44Find another victim.
11:55To you by bro.
11:57Mr. Shaw.
12:07Mr. Sisman?
12:10You should probably see this.
12:11It was in Amira's room.
12:18I knew it.
12:20I knew she would cave in.
12:21In the end, they all do.
12:22But a signed confession?
12:24This is more than I ever dared dream of.
12:26A fake confession?
12:27She's been set up.
12:27How can you not see that?
12:28S-s-s-s-sperm me in the conspiracy theorists here.
12:31Get yourself ready for the trials.
12:33I'll take this from here.
12:49I'll take this from here.
12:52S-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s
12:55-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s
12:56-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s.
12:56Oh, girl.
13:00You're Crookhaven, my boy.
13:01You wish you can.
13:02Of course.
13:04My mum.
13:05She wanted to do better.
13:07She says enough.
13:09So, you better win this thing, huh?
13:11Yeah.
13:12Don't come all this way to see you come second.
13:14No.
13:20two things i love the most wildest strand shows and being proved right it's not conclusive
13:28it's a side confession whisper what a family where's our red monster shouldn't he be here
13:36to greet our guests this year's crooked trials will commence in t-minus 13 minutes
13:52sisman brushed me off and gabriel won't listen either to be fair if i found out my friend was
13:58in a gang that killed my parents i have something to tell you both and this doesn't necessarily
14:05implicate her and i don't want to jump to any conclusions um but
14:12nikki's a spy
14:33the mirror's vanished she left the confession and a burnt coin
14:39you know who did this the plan was to turn nikki to use her as an asset and not to
14:43turn the blind eye
14:44over and over again this time i won't stand our guests are waiting can't make a spectacle in front
14:49of them as soon as the trials are over i'm not waiting if anything happens to a mirror then
14:55it's on your head
15:09it's on your head
15:26it's on your head
15:27samson how the devil are you hector delacoube uh paris 2008
15:34what if you say so horace early noughties are a bit of a blur to be honest nurse hector
15:40samson sorensen who might you be that's really i teach criminastics bet you do let me know if
15:46your skills need sharpening i find all the crooks can get so rusty and i am benito palombo master of
15:54forgery
15:56good for you samson who made some of my star pupils
16:07you need to find the mirror search the island too late mate she's long gone headmaster's orders
16:21why do you keep looking around my mother's supposed to be here did you check on the guest list i
16:26can
16:27chat with my father oh that's all right maybe she got held up i get it i'd do anything to
16:34have my mom
16:34here today just remember what i taught you right ruthless nikki not sweet nikki crooklings a word
16:46you may have noticed the mirror's absence by a mirror you won't be missed if any of you have any
16:53idea
16:54where she might be now is the time to speak up i hope nothing's happened to her
17:04welcome to all you crooks joining us from secure locations round the world we will be coming to you
17:09live across the day for this the ultimate test for our young crooks but first let us hear from our
17:16guiding light mr caspian lookit for one day of the year we open our gates to you a hand-picked
17:28selection
17:29of the world's finest crooks so together we can identify the crooked stars of the future this year's
17:36challenge is a simple one on the roof of maribel's tower is ten thousand pounds of stolen money in a
17:42locked box your task is to be first to liberate the cash and raise the flag to get to the
17:50tower
17:51you will have to pass five trials that would test your crooked skills and give you a chance to
17:57impress our esteemed guest samson sorenson
18:03i'd like to offer this year's winners two weeks crook experience helping me out with a couple of
18:08cheeky little hosts it should be hot that dream along with mr sorenson's generous prize the winner
18:14also earns 25 crooked points enough points for any of you to clinch the crooked cup and of course the
18:21winner will also take home the ten thousand pounds i changed grandma's life it's time for the crooklings to
18:32take the positions come on eyes on the prize remember block the rest out hey we've got proof
18:44amira's innocent eddie heard nikki on the earpiece she's the spy she framed amira nikki come on she's
18:53scared of our shadow you always used to tell me you can't tell when people are lying so let me
18:58make it
18:58clear for you amira lie to you she lies to us all forget amira
19:12there are all books coming right wouldn't be standing about here if they're wearing now would i
19:17that'd be a dereliction of judy like but the other guests i counted them all in myself that's your lot
19:24i thought there were others
19:29the 183rd crooked trials have begun
19:36your masks will be removed in order of most wanted your task is to escape but be warned we've
19:44reconfigured the specularium touch the walls and you are out
20:02wrong choice anders you are out
20:19come on
20:20long choice social you are out
20:45Edgar?
20:47Edgar?
20:54For the benefit of the laycomers, your handcuffs have a unique four-digit release code that I've hidden in a
21:03data set.
21:05The clock is ticking. Hurry up.
21:21Nicky? No conferring. First and final warning.
21:27Our first warning there for young Nicky Arctis.
21:30I've got one wrong move and you're out. It's sadistic. I love it.
21:37Woo-hoo-hoo!
21:39And we have our first winner. Ade has completed the trial.
21:43Who's this, Joker?
21:45At the end of the day, I don't deepen.
21:48That's what you saw in the final result.
21:49Ade, you're losing time. Get to your next trial.
21:54You were wrong about Nicky. Ade wouldn't make that up. Not now.
22:00Ade, go, go, go!
22:04Yes!
22:11Seven, eight, eight, eight.
22:15Hello, Dorian. Wrong code. You're out.
22:17Edgar, go on without me. Win it for the both of us, Edgar.
22:20I'm not winning it for you. I'm winning it for my dad.
22:22Oh, yeah, totally, totally, yeah, yeah.
22:24I'm rooting for you.
22:35Mission compromised. Communion's missing. Don't know if he's in the boat or in danger. Urgent extraction required.
22:41There's no signal.
22:43Hide, get to the highest point you can.
22:45Miracle's tower.
22:46Ricky, what are you doing? Next trial's reception, this way.
22:50Don't lose your love. Remember what I told you.
22:53We've too soon.
23:11Vigorous work from Edgar and Penelope's air in the deception trial.
23:15And dishonorable mention to Gabriel, who is making up for lost time.
23:21She didn't write that letter.
23:22I know what I heard. I'm so sick of sweet, useless little Nicky. I can't wait to be myself again.
23:28You idiot's dropping. I was just giving myself a pep talk.
23:31So who's the comedian?
23:33I have no idea.
23:37Now for the most important trial of the day. Forgery.
23:40I'm sure most cooks would agree.
23:43Criminastics is the supreme skill.
23:45Respectfully.
23:46One takes years to master.
23:49The other is basically running and jumping.
23:52Respectfully.
23:52Have you found a mirror?
23:54Scoured the island. No sign of a...
23:57I'm a hiding to nothing, mate. I've called off the search.
24:02Then I'll have to take things into my own hands.
24:07For this trial, our students must distinguish the original from five of my forgeries.
24:14Forgery.
24:15I have to say, for me, Nicky is the Dark Horse.
24:20The speed and agility I have not seen from her before.
24:23Where's that little crook been hiding?
24:29The last six. Well done.
24:31I guess I take care of my parents.
24:33It's a shame they're not here to cheer me on.
24:35But I'll never get to meet them.
24:37Because of what you did.
24:38You betrayed them, didn't you?
24:39No, not here. Not now.
24:41One more trial, amigo.
24:44What have you done with her?
24:45And Villette?
24:46Oh, my name is Nicky.
24:52Here they come. Our final six crook leads.
24:56All that remains is a race through the wounds of Marvell's tower.
25:00While avoiding some rather zealous gardeners.
25:03Broken players!
25:20Aw!
25:44Where is she?
25:54With Gia out, the final challenge awaits Marvel's Tower, the ultimate test of criministics,
26:03the purest of the crocodiles, in your opinion.
26:13And with the prize almost in sight, Gabrielle and Penelope leave the field.
26:19Merit versus Legacy.
26:27Give it up.
26:29It's over.
26:52Dona Vetter.
26:53Nikki Harkness is free climbing the tower.
26:56What are you doing?
27:10Sorry, Penelope.
27:23What a savage discipline criminastic strule is.
27:28Penelope Locket is out.
27:36Let me go.
27:38Or what?
27:39I'm warning you.
27:41You're right.
27:42It was you.
27:44Where's the mirror?
27:46Last I saw her in the middle of a lake.
27:47But she can't swim.
27:49So if you want to see your friend again, you better hurry up.
27:52Or do you want to win your stupid cup?
28:12The crazy kid was about to win.
28:14Why has he got the yips all of a sudden?
28:15No, he's bottled it. Typical merit.
28:19What's this?
28:21Get out of the way!
28:21A late reappearance of Edgar Delacoon.
28:24That was your mama, that guy.
28:27Kamatha Awa.
28:29Kamatha Delacoon.
28:32You always were a quitter.
28:57Hello? Leopard?
28:58Chameleon's missing in action and my cub is blown.
29:02Answer me!
29:03What's she saying? Why is there no sound?
29:06What is Nikki Harkness doing?
29:08She needs to raise that flag.
29:20I'm sorry.
29:22And you?
29:23Who saw that coming?
29:26So what now?
29:28Fight?
29:31Go ahead.
29:46Yes!
29:49Yes!
29:50That's my boy!
29:52That's my Edgar!
29:58Shoot it!
29:59Edgar Delacoon takes the prize!
30:02It's not a comeback for legacy couple, Edgar Delacoon.
30:06But the question remains.
30:08Why Nikki Harkness...
30:10Something's unravelling here.
30:13I've been around real fear enough times to recognize it in a fellow crook.
30:18Perceptive.
30:19But I don't do fear.
30:32What just happened, Whisper?
30:35Something stinks here, and it sure as heck ain't me.
30:50I know you'll never hear this.
30:54But I want you to know that I fought with everything I had.
30:58Right until the end.
31:01But I failed.
31:02Mickey! Mickey!
31:04I failed the comedian.
31:10And for that...
31:12I'll never forgive myself.
31:16You haven't failed, Valette.
31:21Hold your nerve.
31:22We have others in place.
31:25You're not alone.
31:27You never were.
31:40Over there!
31:45Sorry, youngs.
31:53What does this mean?
31:56I think he's been lying.
31:57Or someone else got here first.
32:01I never should have doubted you.
32:05I never should have doubted Amira.
32:09I was always skeptical.
32:11Whether you could be turned.
32:13I'm sorry you feel that way.
32:15But I've always been grateful for this opportunity.
32:19For the fresh start.
32:20I know who you are.
32:21I'm the one who plucked you off the streets.
32:23They've poisoned your mind.
32:24There's not an antidote strong enough to...
32:31Yes.
32:36I see. Thank you.
32:40They found the boat.
32:41It's empty.
32:45Of course it is.
32:46Of course it is.
32:48That's just a lie.
32:50I made up to get Gabriel off my case.
32:52I don't know where Amira is.
32:55So...
32:55If you don't have any more evidence, sir, please may I go?
32:58I'd hate to miss prize-giving.
33:00I came second today.
33:01And I'm third in the crooked cup.
33:04I'm quite proud of myself.
33:21Bravo, my boy.
33:23I thought we shake hands now.
33:24Externuating circumstances.
33:27Come here.
33:36I don't think we'll leave.
33:38Come on.
33:40Have a look.
33:41No, not with that.
33:46Your pal reminds me of someone.
33:48What's his name?
33:50Edgar.
33:51Edgar what?
33:53And Delacute.
33:54And Anne MacArthur.
33:58Elecum.
34:05Where's Amira?
34:07You didn't think I was serious.
34:09It was just a ruse.
34:11To stop you from trying to sabotage me.
34:13You didn't even try to win.
34:15I have my reasons.
34:25She's lying to her teeth.
34:27Duh.
34:37I was just doing what you've always taught me.
34:39You should be proud of me in a way.
34:41Proud of you?
34:42You cost me the trials.
34:44You cost me the cup and after all that you didn't even have the decency to win.
34:47I couldn't.
34:48I couldn't.
34:49I tried to be ruthless, Nikki, but I couldn't bring myself to do it.
34:54I couldn't steal the prize.
34:55I'm the one best friend I've ever had.
34:57You're not my friend.
34:58You never were.
35:00I just felt sorry for you.
35:05So are you gonna tell me the whole truth about Nikki or are you gonna carry on acting like you
35:09don't know?
35:10Which one?
35:17You did your best, baby.
35:20I failed.
35:22All I ever wanted was to live up to you.
35:30What is it?
35:32You spelled dishonest with a U.
35:35The English spelling.
35:38You'd never write that.
35:44You didn't write this.
35:46Smart girl.
35:49He did.
35:51He's still lying.
36:02You've taken this far enough.
36:04Where is a mirror?
36:06I wish I could help you, sir, but I have no idea.
36:09Here's what you need to know.
36:11I have eyes on every inch of the school so you have no hope of escape.
36:14And the sooner you give her up, the better this ends for you.
36:17One bad turn deserves another.
36:19So you go first.
36:21Where's the chameleon?
36:27I wish I could help you, but I have no idea.
36:37Look at noise.
36:40He's in on out.
36:41And now we come to this year's Crookling Crooked Cup winners.
36:49In third place, Nicky Harkness.
36:52In second place, Penelope Lockett.
36:58But this year's winner is Edgar Delecoe.
37:06Bravo!
37:07Bravo!
37:15Well done, Edgar.
37:17I know you won by default, but also in love and war.
37:21As your mother well knows.
37:24You know my mother?
37:25And you.
37:28Dynamite Crook.
37:29I'll tell you all about it when you come for work experience.
37:39Look at told me you to reprogram her, but I don't think that was ever the plan.
37:45Hmm.
37:46And what about Gabriel?
37:47Gabriel.
37:51But if Lockett and Nicky are working together, what does that mean?
37:55It means he helped frame a mirror.
37:57It means he's with the Nameless.
38:00It means he knows where she is.
38:02And maybe it's not too late to save her.
38:32There's no doubt.
38:54We know what you've endured in your young life.
38:58But here, you can put all that behind you.
39:01Here, you can be safe.
39:04But for your own protection, no one must know who you were.
39:09You're no longer the let.
39:11From this moment on, you're Nicky Harkness.
39:18A legacy.
39:38Where's my handpiece?
39:40Where is it?
39:43Where is it?
39:44Where is it?
39:46Lock it!
39:49Lock it!
40:00Lock it!
40:01We're not in the car.
40:01I'm in the car!
40:02I'll find the engine.
40:03It's up to you for what you want.
40:03They've left.
40:09I've been going!
40:25Who's there?
40:31Stop.
40:32Don't come any closer.
40:33There's a camera right about me.
40:37If he sees I'm talking to someone,
40:38then we could both be in serious danger.
40:40Who are you?
40:46What?
40:47It's you.
40:48What do you mean?
40:49Gabriel.
40:52I don't know you.
40:54No, no.
40:56But I know you.
40:58How?
41:08Because you are my son.
41:09I don't know you.
41:10I don't know you.
41:11I don't know you.
41:12I don't know you.
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