- 1 day ago
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00:00:01The
00:00:01The
00:00:01The
00:00:01The
00:00:35Oh, bad.
00:00:41Hello?
00:00:42Cheryl, we have to talk about our birthday plans.
00:00:45I mean, it's only two days away, and we still haven't decided the perfect way to celebrate.
00:00:50So, I was thinking, maybe we could all take a trip, too.
00:00:54Me, too. I meant to tell you before, but I wanted to be sure.
00:01:00I think I'm going to spend my birthday with Jake.
00:01:03I'm going to lose my virginity to him. You know, I want to surprise him.
00:01:07What? But you can't.
00:01:10I mean, I thought we were going to wait until marriage.
00:01:14Besides, you can't do that to us.
00:01:15You can't break tradition that way.
00:01:19This is bad.
00:01:20You know, I'm going to tell Lexi.
00:01:22She's going to be very unhappy about this.
00:01:32Come on, Lexi.
00:01:34Come on, Lexi.
00:01:48So, girls, what are we going to do for our birthday?
00:01:52Sue, we have plenty of time to figure something out.
00:01:57But this is the big one-eight.
00:01:59I mean, every year since our mom's met in the hospital, we've done something new and special.
00:02:03But this has to be newer and more special.
00:02:07So, what's something we've never done before?
00:02:10Mushrooms?
00:02:11No, not like that.
00:02:13Like something nice.
00:02:15Like maybe a trip.
00:02:16Like a mushroom trip?
00:02:18No.
00:02:22Sorry, Sue, I have a date.
00:02:25So do I.
00:02:26Sorry, Sue.
00:02:28Don't worry, Sue. We'll figure it out.
00:02:42Oh, flowers, are these from you?
00:02:44Yeah, sure.
00:02:47Here you go.
00:02:49No card, but I thought I saw one.
00:02:52I didn't know how to put my feelings into words.
00:02:55I guess, um, you still make me nervous.
00:03:01Oh, Jake.
00:03:06Maybe I should come in and hang out for a minute.
00:03:09Uh, no, Jake, not yet.
00:03:11When we do it, I want it to be really special.
00:03:14The best night of my life.
00:03:16It will be.
00:03:17I promise.
00:03:18It'll always be amazing.
00:03:20With you and me.
00:03:22Together.
00:03:31Jake, no, I have to go.
00:03:33I have to work on my art project.
00:03:36You know, I thought art was going to be a really easy elective,
00:03:39but I guess I should have taken more math.
00:03:43Uh, so you're going to come to my birthday, okay?
00:03:46The Saturday?
00:03:47Of course.
00:03:52Thanks.
00:03:54Okay, bye.
00:04:05Nothing, nothing, nothing.
00:04:08Oh, baby, you're so hot.
00:04:10I'm going to do you so good.
00:04:12Oh, yeah, baby.
00:04:13What was your name again?
00:04:15Rod.
00:04:16Sex guy.
00:04:22Lexi is so upset, she's speechless.
00:04:26Yeah, right, I bet.
00:04:34Cheryl's losing her virginity on Saturday?
00:04:38Oh, no.
00:04:40Does not compute.
00:04:41Want to talk in person ASAP.
00:04:47Oh, huh.
00:04:49Hi.
00:04:51When did you get home?
00:04:53So, is it true?
00:04:54Yes, it is.
00:04:56It's just, it's the right time, and Jake's the right man.
00:05:01I mean, he's handsome and smart and wealthy,
00:05:06and he has a really bright future ahead of him.
00:05:08So, I just think it's the right time.
00:05:12Lexi, tell her.
00:05:13Losing our virginity is one of those milestones we should all face together.
00:05:17On our birthday, yes, but not on this birthday.
00:05:20Like, maybe on our 23rd birthday,
00:05:22or maybe even, like, our 29th.
00:05:25Eight.
00:05:26Maybe.
00:05:29Listen, guys, I know it's tradition, but I'm sorry.
00:05:36I know it's tradition, but I'm sorry.
00:05:46But Cheryl, Sue is right.
00:05:48We do always do something special on our birthday.
00:05:52Does Jake really have such a tiny little needle?
00:05:57It's not Jake.
00:05:58It's the male ideal.
00:06:01Like, a Greek god, or Sue's dad.
00:06:05Right.
00:06:07Oh, yeah, I guess you're right.
00:06:09I mean, it kind of sucks.
00:06:11I'm not really an artist.
00:06:12Girls, can you just stop changing the subject?
00:06:15The point is, we should all lose our virginities together on the same day,
00:06:19and I'm just not ready yet.
00:06:21I'm waiting for a sign, and then I'll know it's right.
00:06:24Look, I can go either way.
00:06:27I mean, I'm fine with just 69, 79, anal.
00:06:32I don't feel any rush to actually do the deed.
00:06:35Besides, I know it'll never live up to my rabbit anyway.
00:06:40But if you want to do it this year, then maybe we all should.
00:06:45You know, it could be like our big 18th birthday thing.
00:06:52Where are you going at 6.30 in the morning?
00:06:55To church.
00:06:56To pray for you.
00:06:57I want to be first in line, Mom.
00:07:00I'm getting this is...
00:07:13Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.
00:07:15It's been four days since my last confession.
00:07:17I accused myself of the following sins.
00:07:20Mm-hmm.
00:07:22Okay, so I'm really embarrassed to talk about this, but it's about sex.
00:07:29Mm-hmm.
00:07:31I mean, not me.
00:07:32I've never gone past second base with a guy.
00:07:35Aw.
00:07:37I've never even seen a guy as...
00:07:39Well, there was that one time I took the pants off my Ken doll.
00:07:42But I was dressing him up as Jesus, and I wanted to see his thing.
00:07:47But there was nothing there.
00:07:51Okay, so it's about my friends.
00:07:54My best friends.
00:07:56They're going to do something really bad this weekend.
00:07:59Okay.
00:08:00Third base.
00:08:02What?
00:08:03No.
00:08:04Like, sex.
00:08:05Like, intercourse?
00:08:07With boys, they barely even know.
00:08:09I mean, they really need us intervention.
00:08:11If you know what I mean.
00:08:12All the way.
00:08:13Go all the way.
00:08:16What?
00:08:17What?
00:08:21How could you do this?
00:08:24You're a bad, bad person.
00:08:29What?
00:08:35Yes.
00:08:36Yes.
00:08:37Run.
00:08:39Run.
00:08:39Home route.
00:08:40Ah.
00:08:41Ah.
00:08:42Damn it.
00:08:45Fuck you Yankees.
00:08:49Sorry.
00:09:13Sue, it is 1 p.m.
00:09:17Would you have a little consideration?
00:09:18I'm trying to sleep.
00:09:21Geez, can you guys please keep it down?
00:09:25I have an announcement to make.
00:09:27I want to do it.
00:09:29Do you hear me?
00:09:30I want to do it.
00:09:33This weekend.
00:09:34On our birthday.
00:09:36Do what?
00:09:38It.
00:09:39Screw.
00:09:40Screwing, boning, making beasts with two backs.
00:09:44You know, shagging, fucking.
00:09:48You do.
00:09:50But what about all your religious stuff?
00:09:53And what about your sign from heaven?
00:09:56Oh, I got a sign at church.
00:09:59Really?
00:10:00Well.
00:10:01Okay, great.
00:10:03We're all in then.
00:10:05So we'll have a big pool party and we'll do it there.
00:10:09Right?
00:10:10Right.
00:10:13I'll start making the shopping list.
00:10:24Hey, Frank.
00:10:26Hi, Sue.
00:10:28Guys, we didn't invite Frank to the party.
00:10:31I don't know.
00:10:32Do you think he'd even have fun?
00:10:33Yeah, he's blind.
00:10:34Blind people can do everything regular people can do.
00:10:42Wait, wait.
00:10:43Bye.
00:10:44Hey.
00:10:45Um, I was wondering.
00:10:47We're going to throw this party tomorrow night.
00:10:50It's for our birthday.
00:10:51Do you want to come?
00:10:52Do you think he can see up my shirt?
00:11:07Well, the house looks done.
00:11:10Tomorrow's the big day.
00:11:12We finally turn 18.
00:11:14And finally lose our virginity.
00:11:16Well, we better get our baby sleep because the party starts tomorrow at 2.
00:11:20So, okay.
00:11:21We know who Cheryl's going to do it with.
00:11:23Jake.
00:11:24And I'll probably do that guy Rod.
00:11:26But Sue, who are you going to pick?
00:11:28It's a poppy chair.
00:11:29It's easy.
00:11:30I've known for the past six years.
00:11:32Ever since Catechism.
00:11:36What the fuck is Catechism?
00:11:38I think it's a baby panda wrapped in peanut butter.
00:11:50My soul mate.
00:11:54Chris?
00:11:55Sue, you, um, might want to think about picking a back up.
00:12:00I mean...
00:12:01What?
00:12:01No, Chris is perfect.
00:12:03He played Jesus in Jesus Christ Superstar last year at camp.
00:12:07Plus, his name's Chris.
00:12:08It's a sign.
00:12:09Sue, the only sign is that Chris has a major case of gay face.
00:12:15What?
00:12:16He does not.
00:12:17Anyway, there's no such thing as gay face.
00:12:19He looks just like Justin Bieber.
00:12:22With a little bit of Zac Efron and just a hint of Ryan Seacrest.
00:12:26Who the fuck's Ryan Seacrest?
00:12:29Look, Chris is my soul mate.
00:12:32Okay, well, sweet dreams.
00:12:35See you in the morning.
00:12:44I knew it would happen someday.
00:12:45I just didn't expect it to happen so soon.
00:12:50bitch.
00:12:51Never mind.
00:12:57I know.
00:13:05I know what you guys are laughing.
00:13:06Don't you see you in between, aren't you?
00:13:06Do I don't even know?
00:13:07Well, La juvenile here you can't establish those things like you.
00:13:08That's yours.
00:13:08I know that I hope he's like.
00:13:08builders in a battle that you will be.ynthesis
00:13:08in a battle. No
00:13:09new house ever. That's
00:13:11one of these roads име into.
00:13:20You're so perfect.
00:13:58You knew that's what I look like.
00:14:18Too bad no one could ever compare to you.
00:14:36Tomorrow's the day.
00:14:59Oh, my gosh.
00:15:02They're coming.
00:15:03Lexi, Cheryl, hurry.
00:15:09Ew, why?
00:15:11It's for Jake to unwrap me.
00:15:13It's going to be really sexy.
00:15:15It's unnecessary.
00:15:16You're going to die of asphyxiation.
00:15:19He's going to be really sexy.
00:15:20It's stupid.
00:15:21Just screw him.
00:15:23That's what he wants.
00:15:24That's what all guys want.
00:15:25Who hurt you as a child?
00:15:27Oh, Christ.
00:15:28I'm going to have your mouth, too.
00:15:30Anyway, what guys want is someone who's sexy, not someone they can just have sex with.
00:15:36You're an idiot.
00:15:37A very smooth, plastic wrapped idiot.
00:15:42Guys, seriously, come on, hurry up.
00:15:50Oh, what a cool bracelet.
00:15:52I love it.
00:15:55You should put that down, though, because it's very fragile.
00:15:59Yeah.
00:16:00Just put it down.
00:16:01Hurry up.
00:16:05Those were your anal beads, right?
00:16:07Yeah.
00:16:07All right.
00:16:07Let's go.
00:16:28Whoa!
00:16:29Oh, Jesus.
00:16:30Whoa!
00:16:34Oh, we're going to have some fun.
00:16:35Oh, Attack of the Wet T-Shirt.
00:16:37Nice!
00:16:40Oh, fuck.
00:16:48Happy birthday, Lex.
00:16:51No, Joanna, we said no gifts.
00:16:55That is lip poison to plump your lips, but be careful it stings.
00:16:59And the other one is edible massage oil.
00:17:02Oh, how did you know?
00:17:04I'm going to use both of these tonight.
00:17:07Who's left?
00:17:08Sure.
00:17:13Buster, such a cutey.
00:17:15Please don't touch my service time.
00:17:18All right.
00:17:18Sorry.
00:17:19Are you okay now?
00:17:20Yeah, I'm fine.
00:17:21Okay, I'll see you later.
00:17:26I can't believe you haven't heard of it.
00:17:28This is crazy.
00:17:30Jake! Hi!
00:17:32Hey, Ben.
00:17:33Happy birthday.
00:17:36Oh, you didn't have to give me anything.
00:17:39What? You want a beer?
00:17:45No.
00:17:49Oh, hon.
00:17:50Yeah.
00:17:54I have your present here.
00:17:56I'll give it to you later.
00:17:57The time's right.
00:17:59You didn't have to give me anything.
00:18:02And I have a present for you that I want you to unwrap later.
00:18:09Hey, Rob.
00:18:10We need you to settle this bet over here real quick.
00:18:13We'll bet.
00:18:14I'll give it to you later.
00:18:18Hi, this is my man right here.
00:18:20Hey.
00:18:21Hey.
00:18:21How are you doing?
00:18:23Hey.
00:18:23Hey, this is made.
00:18:32Check it out!
00:18:35Dare me?
00:18:39Ah...
00:18:40Woo!
00:18:41Woo!
00:18:54Oh, dude, look at those.
00:18:55Are those real?
00:18:57Have you guys seen Cheryl?
00:18:58Hey!
00:18:59Dude, move!
00:19:00Lame!
00:19:02Oh.
00:19:02All right.
00:19:03OK.
00:19:03I'll see you guys later.
00:19:04Go do some push-ups or something.
00:19:06Aw, the moves.
00:19:0720 bucks says, by the end of the day, I will be motorboating those kitties.
00:19:11Yeah!
00:19:13They're fake anyways.
00:19:15Who cares?
00:19:16OK.
00:19:19Who cares?
00:19:21Oh, dude, dude.
00:19:23I'm blind, you fucking asshole.
00:19:28Sue, no.
00:19:29It's your birthday.
00:19:30Here, let me.
00:19:31Joanna, no.
00:19:31Just go enjoy the party.
00:19:34Come on.
00:19:36Open.
00:19:39Hey.
00:19:39Do my lips look any plumper?
00:19:42I put this stuff on, but I can't really feel anything yet.
00:19:46Have you guys seen Jake?
00:19:47I haven't seen him anywhere.
00:19:49It just, like, disappeared.
00:20:03Are these real?
00:20:04Yeah.
00:20:05Of course they are.
00:20:08How come I've never met you before?
00:20:10I don't know.
00:20:11Maybe he's just going to be around.
00:20:12Fine.
00:20:12Have you seen Jake?
00:20:14Um, I think he's around or something.
00:20:17Maybe upstairs.
00:20:18I don't know.
00:20:20Maybe you want to go get my birthday present.
00:20:22That's probably where he went.
00:20:25Go roll.
00:20:28Liquid courage?
00:20:30Yeah.
00:20:31Atta girl.
00:20:36Vodka cranberry?
00:20:37Surely simple.
00:20:40Well, I guess it's now or never.
00:20:42I can go meet Rod.
00:20:44Sue?
00:20:45Are you okay?
00:20:47Sue?
00:20:48Relax.
00:20:50They're just nice.
00:20:52Okay.
00:20:52Nothing to be scared of.
00:20:53Seriously.
00:20:53You're going to be fine.
00:20:55Is Chris here?
00:21:02Wow, it's even worse in person, isn't it?
00:21:05No!
00:21:06He does not have gay face.
00:21:08I'm going to prove it to you.
00:21:10I'm going to do it.
00:21:16Wow, it's even worse in person, isn't it?
00:21:19No!
00:21:20He does not have gay face.
00:21:22I'm going to prove it to you.
00:21:24I'm going to do it.
00:21:26I'm going to do this.
00:21:27Good luck.
00:21:31Okay, you can do this.
00:21:33Just act like a slut.
00:21:37Just pretend.
00:21:40Good luck.
00:21:48Yeah, my favorite chapter song, Gmore.
00:21:50I'm sorry.
00:21:51Chris.
00:21:53Hi.
00:21:54Can I talk to you?
00:21:56Huh?
00:21:58In private?
00:22:00No.
00:22:14Hey, Lexi.
00:22:15Hey, Lexi.
00:22:16Hey, Lexi.
00:22:17What?
00:22:18Chris.
00:22:19You're so sexy.
00:22:23Ever since you played Jesus at camp, I've just...
00:22:26I've known that we were meant to be together.
00:22:29And I really want to...
00:22:33Oh!
00:22:34What are you doing?
00:22:35Is that wrong?
00:22:36Sue!
00:22:37What's gotten into you?
00:22:38Nothing.
00:22:39I'm sorry.
00:22:40I...
00:22:40I don't know how to do this.
00:22:42Sue.
00:22:44Sue.
00:22:45Sue.
00:22:48I understand these urges.
00:22:52And, you know, I like you too.
00:22:56Really?
00:22:57You do?
00:22:58I do.
00:22:59I really do.
00:23:01I like you too.
00:23:03Really?
00:23:03You do?
00:23:05I do.
00:23:06I really do.
00:23:07It's just...
00:23:10I've devoted a lot of my life to one certain man.
00:23:15Right.
00:23:16Lexi said you were...
00:23:18Jesus.
00:23:19Oh.
00:23:20That man.
00:23:21Of course.
00:23:22What did you think?
00:23:24Oh, nothing.
00:23:25So we can still do this then?
00:23:28Oh, Sue.
00:23:31You know...
00:23:32For me...
00:23:35When I think about that man...
00:23:38Who died for our sins.
00:23:40When I think about him...
00:23:42Up there on that cross.
00:23:44So helpless.
00:23:45Yet so...
00:23:47Muscular.
00:23:49With his strong...
00:23:52Thighs...
00:23:53Crossed over each other.
00:23:56So...
00:23:56Delicately.
00:23:57Beneath that...
00:23:59Ragged...
00:24:00Loincloth.
00:24:02Growing so hot.
00:24:04So sweaty.
00:24:06Under that hot...
00:24:08Hot sun.
00:24:09I just feel such...
00:24:12Compassion.
00:24:13I think about those things too.
00:24:15So you understand...
00:24:17Why I can't do this?
00:24:20Not really.
00:24:21I just find it too hard...
00:24:23It is...
00:24:24To...
00:24:25Give in to...
00:24:27Carnal...
00:24:27Pleasure...
00:24:28When...
00:24:29He sacrificed so much for us.
00:24:34So...
00:24:35To...
00:24:44To...
00:24:44Can't go out there, right?
00:24:45Andy, we're gonna...
00:24:46To...
00:24:47Hey, Ty.
00:24:48Whoa!
00:24:50Have you seen Jake?
00:24:52No.
00:24:53No.
00:24:54Alright.
00:24:58Okay.
00:24:59Alright, focus.
00:25:00Focus, focus.
00:25:07Oh, there he is.
00:25:11Oh, you got me the puppy that I wanted.
00:25:28How could you?
00:25:33Sue, what happened?
00:25:35Did you guys do it?
00:25:37Sue?
00:25:38He doesn't want me.
00:25:40Because he's gay.
00:25:42No, he's not.
00:25:43He just really loves Jesus.
00:25:45Oh, come on, Sue.
00:25:47The only reason we even liked him is because you knew he was never a real possibility for you.
00:25:53Look, the only way you are going to find out what kind of man you really want
00:25:57is to know what kind of woman you really are deep inside.
00:26:03What?
00:26:04Come with me.
00:26:05Were to meet your dark side.
00:26:15Out.
00:26:17Everyone out.
00:26:27Sue, it's time for you and your vagina to meet face to face.
00:26:44I really can't.
00:26:46I really don't think I can do this.
00:26:49I'm not letting you out until you look.
00:26:55I'm not letting you out until you look.
00:27:01Ew.
00:27:02Can you see it?
00:27:05Ew.
00:27:05Sue.
00:27:09I'm almost...
00:27:11I'm almost there.
00:27:17What?
00:27:20What?
00:27:21Sue, what happened?
00:27:22What did you see?
00:27:23A raccoon?
00:27:25What?
00:27:27You overshot it.
00:27:28Aim the mirror further up.
00:27:37I can't.
00:27:38Please don't make me do that again.
00:27:40Okay.
00:27:40Fine.
00:27:41Fine.
00:27:43I didn't want to do this, but you leave me no choice.
00:27:46What?
00:27:47You really need an orgasm.
00:27:50Honestly, I don't know how you expected to ever have sex with someone else when you've never even had it
00:27:55with yourself.
00:27:56This really has to be your first step.
00:27:58Lex, I'm ready.
00:28:00Coming.
00:28:01Sue, my black vibrator is somewhere in the top drawer.
00:28:04Just find it and use it.
00:28:06Wait, what does the black vibrator look like?
00:28:09It's black.
00:28:10It vibrates.
00:28:13Come on, Rod.
00:28:15Let's go to Sue's room.
00:28:18And don't come back until you have at least one orgasm.
00:28:32Hey, cutie! Cutie!
00:28:40Bullseye!
00:28:42Oh, yeah!
00:28:46Bang! Bang! Bang!
00:28:52Straighten up!
00:28:54Boy.
00:28:55Boy.
00:28:56He knows over a hundred commands.
00:29:00I'm sorry, I can't see anything.
00:29:03That is not funny, Cheryl.
00:29:05What a bitch.
00:29:07Fortunately, when you're blind, you get used to things like that.
00:29:10Oh, yeah!
00:29:20I'm sorry, you're a lad.
00:29:31Poor Dad!
00:29:35Oh, yeah!
00:29:37A bitch.
00:29:37Oh.
00:29:38Oh, yeah!
00:29:39Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah!
00:29:40Oh, shit.
00:29:46What's wrong with this thing?
00:30:07Cheryl, what is wrong?
00:30:09Lexi, it's Jake.
00:30:12He was getting a blowjob by some pink-haired girl.
00:30:15For sure?
00:30:17I mean, I know I've been putting off having sex with him,
00:30:20so maybe it's my fault.
00:30:22That's no excuse. He's a dirtbag. How dare he?
00:30:25No, it's awful.
00:30:27I mean, I thought I was gonna marry him.
00:30:30Oh, shit.
00:30:36It's a text. It's from him.
00:30:38I can't bear myself to read it.
00:30:39Okay.
00:30:41He's looking for you.
00:30:42He wants to give you your birthday gift.
00:30:45Oh, I can't face him.
00:30:47Um, I have to go. I'm going.
00:30:49No, you can't just leave.
00:30:51Well, I can't stay and just pretend like nothing happened.
00:30:54I mean, maybe I should confront him.
00:30:57He'll either deny it or admit and promise never to do it again.
00:31:00Either way, it's bullshit.
00:31:02I see only one option.
00:31:05I'm leaving.
00:31:06Revenge sex.
00:31:08Re... I mean, what? What does that even mean?
00:31:10It means you find a guy, you screw his brains out, and you let Jake catch you.
00:31:18Revenge sex.
00:31:20Re... I mean, what? What does that even mean?
00:31:22It means you find a guy, you screw his brains out, and you let Jake catch you.
00:31:27But he... I mean, he doesn't even care.
00:31:29He doesn't even care about me. I mean, why would...
00:31:31He's just into other girls.
00:31:33Trust me, he'll care.
00:31:36Seriously, this is the worst thing you can do to him.
00:31:39To his ego.
00:31:40To screw someone else when you've never even had sex with him.
00:31:44Especially if it's with someone smarter, better looking, and with a bigger dick.
00:31:50No, I... I couldn't.
00:31:52Plus, I mean, there's... there's no one smarter and better looking.
00:31:56Eric! He's perfect!
00:31:58Eric Hall? Are you kidding?
00:32:01I mean, he wouldn't even be into me. He likes your type.
00:32:05Really? And what type is that?
00:32:07Slutty.
00:32:09Yeah.
00:32:11Trust me, he's amazing.
00:32:12I fooled around with him once. He has this great tongue ring.
00:32:15Oh, no. I can never fool around with somebody you've fooled around with.
00:32:19Okay, then. Fine. We will find someone else.
00:32:23Someone that I haven't... fooled around with.
00:32:30Okay, what does it matter that I've fooled around with him?
00:32:32I mean, it's like you're not gonna marry the guy.
00:32:35No, I just couldn't do it.
00:32:37Fine.
00:32:38If you wanna live the rest of your life knowing that you had one chance to do the right thing,
00:32:42to make your boyfriend feel like a total, worthless piece of garbage,
00:32:46and possibly even scar him with the rest of his existence,
00:32:49and you chose not to do it,
00:32:51go ahead.
00:32:52But honestly, I don't know how you'll be able to live with yourself.
00:32:56I don't know.
00:33:00I don't know.
00:33:00But honestly, I don't know how you'll be able to live with yourself.
00:33:04I don't know.
00:33:06Trust me.
00:33:07It's going to work.
00:33:14I will intercept Jake and get him upstairs.
00:33:19Hi, Cheryl.
00:33:19Are you okay enough to chat with her?
00:33:22Oh, no!
00:33:25Oh, no.
00:33:35Hey.
00:33:37Happy birthday.
00:33:40Thanks.
00:34:03Have you guys seen Jake?
00:34:10So...
00:34:13Happy birthday.
00:34:16Do you know that most people think that the happy birthday song was from Britain?
00:34:21But it's actually from us.
00:34:22U.S.
00:34:24America?
00:34:27United States?
00:34:28I know where we live.
00:34:30Right.
00:34:31Of course.
00:34:35I know where we live.
00:34:37Right.
00:34:38Of course.
00:34:44Hey, Jesus, Erica.
00:34:45Are you going to make your move or not?
00:34:47Oh, you want me to move?
00:34:48Yeah, no.
00:34:48I can totally move.
00:34:49I just...
00:34:50No, you're fine.
00:35:04Jake!
00:35:08So, Eric, do you want to do it or not?
00:35:11Oh.
00:35:12I'm sorry.
00:35:13It?
00:35:13What, um...
00:35:14It?
00:35:16Like...
00:35:16Monkey boning and, like, pigs in a blanket.
00:35:21Get real nasty.
00:35:22Oh!
00:35:24Oh!
00:35:24You mean, like, uh...
00:35:27Right now?
00:35:28I mean, well, yeah.
00:35:31You know, the sooner the better.
00:35:34Yeah, sure.
00:35:35I mean, well, yeah.
00:35:36Of course.
00:35:37Um...
00:35:37I just never realized that you...
00:35:39I mean...
00:35:42Whew.
00:35:44Uh...
00:35:46It's just...
00:35:47You're so...
00:35:51You're so beautiful.
00:35:52Okay.
00:35:54Um...
00:35:54Uh, no kissing.
00:35:57Right.
00:35:58Um...
00:35:59Of course.
00:36:00Sorry.
00:36:05So, um...
00:36:06Do you wanna unwrap me?
00:36:09Oh, wow.
00:36:10Uh...
00:36:11You're wrapped up like a Hot Pocket.
00:36:12Or...
00:36:13Leftover macaroni and cheese.
00:36:15Now that you're left over, you're not.
00:36:18Uh...
00:36:18You're fresh.
00:36:22Now that you're left over, you're not.
00:36:24Uh...
00:36:25You're fresh.
00:36:26Organic.
00:36:28Yep.
00:36:31Uh...
00:36:31So the wrap.
00:36:32Right.
00:36:35Um...
00:36:36Uh...
00:36:36Where's the, uh...
00:36:37It's, uh, the end is...
00:36:39The edges, like, right over here.
00:36:40Oh, oh, yeah.
00:36:40Here it is.
00:36:41Uh...
00:36:41It's where I see it.
00:36:42Um...
00:36:43Let me just, uh...
00:36:45Uh...
00:36:46Ow!
00:36:46Ow!
00:36:47Ow!
00:36:47Sorry!
00:36:47Sorry!
00:36:48I, um...
00:36:49It's...
00:36:50It's okay.
00:36:50Here.
00:36:51Do it again.
00:36:54Sorry.
00:36:54I, uh...
00:36:55I, uh...
00:36:55I bite my nails.
00:36:56So it's a little difficult.
00:36:57You know what?
00:36:58Let me just...
00:36:59Lay on the bed.
00:37:01Okay.
00:37:07Uh...
00:37:08Let me just...
00:37:09See.
00:37:11Oh!
00:37:11Here it is.
00:37:12I got it.
00:37:12Alright.
00:37:13Just, um...
00:37:14Pull it.
00:37:16Ah!
00:37:17Oh!
00:37:19Oh!
00:37:20Oh, jeez!
00:37:20Uh, Cheryl, are you...
00:37:22You okay?
00:37:23Help!
00:37:23Help!
00:37:26Uh...
00:37:27Hey, Cheryl, are...
00:37:28Are you okay?
00:37:29Oh, jeez.
00:37:35Well, that was stupid.
00:37:42Yeah.
00:37:48How you doing tonight?
00:37:50Pretty good.
00:37:50You having a good time?
00:37:51Yeah?
00:37:52Good?
00:37:53Jake!
00:37:54I think I saw Cheryl upstairs.
00:37:57What?
00:37:57I can't hear you!
00:38:00I didn't have a beer.
00:38:02Chips are so damn salty.
00:38:04Jake!
00:38:04Sorry, we're...
00:38:05Up...stairs.
00:38:07Yeah.
00:38:07Hold on.
00:38:09Take a piss.
00:38:10How much beer?
00:38:11I can't hear you.
00:38:13I can't hear you.
00:38:14I can't hear you.
00:38:22I can't hear you.
00:38:25I can't hear you.
00:38:27I can't hear you.
00:38:28I can't hear you.
00:38:30I can't hear you.
00:38:31I can't hear you.
00:38:31I can't hear you.
00:38:31I can't hear you.
00:38:33I can't hear you.
00:38:33I can't hear you.
00:38:34I can't hear you.
00:38:34I can't hear you.
00:38:34I can't hear you.
00:38:35I can't hear you.
00:38:38I can't hear you.
00:38:43Finally. I, uh, let me just get the blinds.
00:38:47Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. Um, don't worry about it.
00:38:51What?
00:38:52I mean, I want us to be able to see each other.
00:38:59Oh. Well, okay.
00:39:00Okay.
00:39:16Okay.
00:39:16Finally. I, uh, let me just get the blinds.
00:39:21Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Um, don't worry about it.
00:39:25What?
00:39:26I mean, I want us to be able to see each other.
00:39:31Uh-oh. Well, okay.
00:39:34Okay.
00:39:47Oh, my God.
00:39:47Uh-oh.
00:39:49Um, yeah.
00:40:07Okay.
00:40:24What are you doing?
00:40:26Uh, I think it's time, you know, to do it.
00:40:34Um, not yet. More foreplay.
00:40:36Huh?
00:40:37Uh, oh.
00:40:45It's so good.
00:40:47Huh?
00:40:50Yep.
00:40:51Oh, my God.
00:40:53Jaw, jaw, jaw.
00:40:54What, what, what?
00:40:56Ah, ah, oh.
00:40:58Ah, dear.
00:41:00Lock jaw, lock jaw.
00:41:01Is that even a thing?
00:41:03I don't know.
00:41:04Oh.
00:41:06Ah.
00:41:07Are you okay?
00:41:11No, no, no, no.
00:41:13It's, uh, it's fine.
00:41:14I'm just, uh, I'm embarrassed.
00:41:17I, it's probably TMJ or fracture or swollen.
00:41:23Um.
00:41:24You sure you're okay?
00:41:26Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.
00:41:28Okay, great.
00:41:29Have fun.
00:41:29Oh.
00:41:31Oh.
00:41:59Oh, no means no.
00:42:02Huh? Oh, I'm so sorry.
00:42:04I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
00:42:06It's been a really long time, and I just,
00:42:07I haven't masturbated for anything.
00:42:13Uh-oh.
00:42:16Oh, hey, Jake.
00:42:20How you doing?
00:42:22How's it going?
00:42:23Good. Eric?
00:42:25Come.
00:42:26Eric, cut me. I'm glad I can't see anything.
00:42:30Excuse me.
00:42:35Cheryl's in here.
00:42:41What's up, brother?
00:42:42What the fuck is...
00:42:46Hey, wait!
00:42:48Lex, Meg, still waiting.
00:42:58Oh, I'm sorry. I can't see. I'm blind.
00:43:02Damn it.
00:43:04I'm gonna save something to that bitch.
00:43:07Hey, you!
00:43:09You better stop making fun of the blind,
00:43:11or I'm gonna teach you a lesson.
00:43:16I'm so sorry.
00:43:17I'll never make fun of the blind again.
00:43:20Hey!
00:43:23What the do is the way around.
00:43:44I can't crash this ass.
00:43:46Oh, man. No more water balloons.
00:43:48This party's ass.
00:43:53Yeah!
00:43:53Yeah!
00:43:57This just isn't working on it.
00:44:00Nothing.
00:44:02What's the big deal about these vibrators anyway?
00:44:07Lock your character, man. Lock sticks.
00:44:10Spark it up!
00:44:11Yes!
00:44:15Oh, man!
00:44:17I love this game!
00:44:18What are the controllers?
00:44:19We gotta play.
00:44:20Here, here, here, here.
00:44:21Okay, let me find another one.
00:44:25Woo!
00:44:28Look at this!
00:44:29Oh, my God!
00:44:31Fuel! Fuel! Fuel!
00:44:33Get that thing away!
00:44:34Jesus!
00:44:40Oh.
00:44:43Hey, dude.
00:44:44Nice shot.
00:44:44Yeah.
00:44:46Wasn't me.
00:44:52Whoa, whoa!
00:44:53Nice!
00:44:55Are you sitting in there or something?
00:44:59Hey, you found the grenade launcher.
00:45:01Nice!
00:45:01Thanks!
00:45:14Do you have the extra controller?
00:45:17Do you have the extra controller?
00:45:27Whoa!
00:45:30You are the controller!
00:45:32No, I just...
00:45:34I didn't...
00:45:35I swear, I...
00:45:40I...
00:45:40I...
00:45:41No, no, no!
00:45:47You won't write...
00:45:49Hey, hey, Sue!
00:45:50No, it's all right.
00:45:51Where are you going, man?
00:45:54It's all right.
00:45:55Hey, Sue!
00:45:58Hey, Sue!
00:46:08Hey, didn't you hear me calling you?
00:46:10Yeah, I just needed to...
00:46:13Oh, sure.
00:46:16Listen, Sue, I was rethinking what I said earlier.
00:46:21You were?
00:46:24You mean...
00:46:25Yeah.
00:46:29So you think we should give it a try?
00:46:33Can we go get a drink?
00:46:38Wow, um, your toilet's really clogged.
00:46:42You know what?
00:46:44I gotta go.
00:46:45Um, happy birthday.
00:46:47No, Chris, no, there wasn't...
00:46:48I didn't...
00:46:49Oh, God, never mind.
00:47:04This is the worst idea ever.
00:47:07Never going to have sex.
00:47:09Ow.
00:47:31Hello?
00:47:32A little attention here.
00:47:35Oh, yeah.
00:47:35Sorry.
00:47:42Lex, don't be selfish.
00:47:44All right.
00:47:46Sorry.
00:47:47All right.
00:48:00Jeez.
00:48:02Who invented this stupid position, anyway?
00:48:05Too much fucking multitasking.
00:48:08Screw it.
00:48:17Ah.
00:48:19Mm.
00:48:20Ha, ha, ha.
00:48:25Ha, ha, ha.
00:48:28Ha, ha, ha.
00:48:53No, that was bad.
00:48:56That was so bad.
00:49:12Joanna, do you know a guy named JJ?
00:49:17I think that guy's name starts with a J.
00:49:24Hey, does your name start with a J?
00:49:27Yes, it does.
00:49:28So you're JJ?
00:49:31Uh-oh.
00:49:32I can't see you.
00:49:33I can't see you.
00:49:35I can't see you.
00:49:55I can't see you.
00:50:10Please hold.
00:50:12Thank goodness.
00:50:161-900 confession.
00:50:18How may I be of service?
00:50:20It's been one day since my last confession.
00:50:22I accuse myself of the following sins.
00:50:25One day.
00:50:28Ow!
00:50:34Is that too long?
00:50:35I would have come this morning, but it's my 18th birthday.
00:50:38Go on.
00:50:40Um, okay.
00:50:41Well, I've been touching myself inappropriately.
00:50:44Well, actually, I didn't know a washing machine did.
00:50:47What's your problem?
00:50:48A washing machine touched her.
00:50:52Well, you know, I sat on a washing machine and, well...
00:50:56All right, freak.
00:50:57Time's up.
00:50:58What?
00:50:59But what do I do?
00:51:00Just unplug the thing.
00:51:02No, but...
00:51:03But I think I might have had an orgasm.
00:51:06Well, then be happy.
00:51:08You found the perfect man.
00:51:10I'm serious.
00:51:11Look, honey.
00:51:12You seem like a nice young lady, so...
00:51:15I'll tell you this.
00:51:17Masturbation isn't a sin.
00:51:20No contritions?
00:51:22You broke no covenant with God.
00:51:24It's not in the Bible.
00:51:26So, the washing machine could touch me any time?
00:51:30Like, morning, afternoon, night?
00:51:33Yes, and other things can touch you.
00:51:37Accidental masturbation is not a sin.
00:51:39Neither is intentional masturbation.
00:51:42Oh, God's pretty cool that way.
00:51:46He sure is.
00:51:47Now run along.
00:51:51Wow.
00:51:53How do you know all that?
00:51:54Because I'm a nun.
00:51:57Now eat my pussy, bitch.
00:52:00Huh.
00:52:01Accidental masturbation.
00:52:02Who'd it think?
00:52:13Revenge sex with a stupid fucking idiot.
00:52:17God, I'm getting out of here.
00:52:21Yeah, admit it.
00:52:23I've got no game.
00:52:25I guess I can skip it.
00:52:26I guess I don't feel for you.
00:52:32Fucking douchebag.
00:52:34Damn it.
00:52:36Now I have to get laid if it's the last thing I do.
00:52:39You go, girl.
00:52:40What?
00:52:43What are you doing here?
00:52:45We needed someplace private.
00:52:48But hey, listen.
00:52:49If you're serious about getting laid.
00:52:51Yeah.
00:52:52If you want someone great.
00:52:53I mean, really.
00:52:55The best ever.
00:52:58No offense.
00:53:00Frank.
00:53:01The blind guy?
00:53:02Really?
00:53:03I'm telling you, he's amazing.
00:53:07I had food sex with him a few weeks ago.
00:53:10It was like nothing I've ever experienced before.
00:53:13It was like, well, you saw your senses.
00:53:16Everything.
00:53:19If you're interested, I'll set it up.
00:53:23All right.
00:53:30What about him?
00:53:32Jeremy.
00:53:33Jeremy.
00:53:33Oh, yeah.
00:53:34I know Jeremy.
00:53:36I think I fooled around with him once.
00:53:38I didn't know his last name, though.
00:53:41It's Jones.
00:53:43Jeremy Jones.
00:53:44Oh.
00:53:45This all makes sense.
00:53:46Excuse me.
00:53:49Jeremy.
00:53:50Hi.
00:53:51Hey.
00:53:52Who's on the phone?
00:53:54Oh, that's my new girlfriend.
00:53:56You'll meet her.
00:53:57Could be here in like an hour.
00:53:58Wait.
00:53:59You have a girlfriend?
00:54:01I don't know.
00:54:04I don't know.
00:54:06I don't know.
00:54:15I don't know.
00:54:16I don't know.
00:54:17I don't know.
00:54:18I don't know.
00:54:19I don't know.
00:54:22Oh, you meant, you meant the dog.
00:54:28Relax.
00:54:30You need to relax and calm down.
00:54:42Oh, I'm, I'm relaxed.
00:54:44I'm fine.
00:54:45Why are you biting your nail?
00:54:47I'm not.
00:54:52How did you know that?
00:54:56Corner.
00:55:00Sit.
00:55:02Roll over.
00:55:07Oh, you mean me.
00:55:10Roll over.
00:55:14Oh, you mean me.
00:55:17Oh, how do you, how do you want me to?
00:55:20Just like that.
00:55:21No, it, I.
00:55:29Oh.
00:55:34I shouldn't even be doing this, but considering it a teachable moment.
00:55:40Okay.
00:55:46See me with your hands.
00:55:52All right.
00:55:54Uh.
00:55:54Uh.
00:56:01You know, I should really, I have a boyfriend and I shouldn't be doing this.
00:56:05Really.
00:56:09It's a nice scene.
00:56:11I haven't.
00:56:20Hmm.
00:56:20I'm.
00:56:21I should.
00:56:21I.
00:56:22I'm.
00:56:36I don't.
00:56:36Frank, Frank.
00:56:38Oh.
00:56:42Oh, Frank.
00:57:10Yo, ma'am.
00:57:12Yo, gimme a chip.
00:57:13My chips, homeboy.
00:57:15Oh, gimme a chip, ma'am.
00:57:16My chips.
00:57:17Yo, my chips.
00:57:19Give me a chip.
00:57:21My chips.
00:57:23Guys, why are you making such a mess?
00:57:26Sorry.
00:57:35It's just a case of accidental masturbation.
00:57:38That's all.
00:57:43No, let me do this. Go away.
00:57:45I got it. I got it.
00:57:47No, really, please. I want to help.
00:57:49Please.
00:57:52Okay, everybody out.
00:57:54Leave. I have to vacuum.
00:57:55Please.
00:58:10You're not even getting the chips.
00:58:12They're over here.
00:58:14I see some dust over here, so...
00:58:20There's just so much dust on this floor.
00:58:24It's dirty floor.
00:58:26It's such a dirty...
00:58:30dirty...
00:58:30dirty floor.
00:58:34It's...
00:58:40Oh, my God.
00:58:42Oh, my God.
00:58:43Oh, my God.
00:58:44Oh, my God.
00:58:47Oh, no.
00:58:54I think I got all that.
00:58:57I'm just gonna...
00:58:58I'll see you.
00:58:59Oh.
00:59:05Oh, my God.
00:59:07Oh, here's my chest.
00:59:09Frankie.
00:59:11Oh, my...
00:59:12Oh.
00:59:12What's that?
00:59:14What?
00:59:15Oh, my God.
00:59:16Fucking shit.
00:59:17Oh, man. We gotta smoke.
00:59:18Oh, we can smoke in here.
00:59:19We can smoke out.
00:59:19Oh, my God.
00:59:21Stop.
00:59:22Frank.
00:59:23Stop teasing Frank.
00:59:27Sorry, man.
00:59:28We're just looking for a place to finish this roach.
00:59:30Oh, I heard something.
00:59:32You want to join us?
00:59:33Um.
00:59:34No, I might...
00:59:34Come on.
00:59:35You gotta do it!
00:59:36Come on!
00:59:37Seriously, guys.
00:59:38Watch your dog, man.
00:59:39What's it like being blind if it's tripping?
00:59:47Frank, Frank, are we gonna do something soon?
00:59:52Bro, you are too funny.
00:59:57Thanks, man.
00:59:58Ooh, this is some good stuff.
01:00:00I haven't smoked since junior high.
01:00:02Dude, I haven't stopped smoking since junior high.
01:00:05Wait, wait, wait.
01:00:06I feel like I was supposed to be doing something.
01:00:11Damn, I really can't remember this.
01:00:13This is some good shit.
01:00:34Oh, no.
01:00:35You're the devil.
01:00:37No more.
01:00:42JJ, Jeremy, you have to remember that amazing time we had together, don't you?
01:00:48Please.
01:00:49Lex, I can't.
01:00:52I mean, I got a girlfriend.
01:00:54I really like this girl.
01:00:56Fine.
01:00:57It's just so sad because I'm wearing this coupless bra and I also have on crotchless panties with just a
01:01:07little string of pearl in front for extra stimulation.
01:01:12Oh.
01:01:17We've got like 30 minutes before she gets here.
01:01:20Perfect.
01:01:25Perfect.
01:01:25Before she gets here.
01:01:26Perfect.
01:01:37Oh, yeah.
01:01:38I'm gonna do it.
01:01:39Let's do it.
01:01:40Fuck me.
01:01:41Fuck me now.
01:01:47What?
01:01:47What?
01:01:48What's wrong?
01:01:49I can't.
01:01:50I can't get it in.
01:01:52Just try down there.
01:01:54It's like desert down there.
01:01:55It's sandpaper.
01:01:57I just...
01:01:58Okay.
01:01:58I get the picture.
01:02:00Just try it again.
01:02:04No.
01:02:05Why is this happening?
01:02:07We fooled around before.
01:02:09I was dripping wet.
01:02:10I came like four times, remember?
01:02:12Just do what you did then.
01:02:14Go on.
01:02:14I already did my thing.
01:02:16I already tried.
01:02:18What?
01:02:19What is different this time?
01:02:22I don't know.
01:02:24Last time...
01:02:27I honestly don't even know what you're talking about.
01:02:30What?
01:02:32You're not JJ?
01:02:34But your name is Jeremy Jones.
01:02:36How can you not be JJ?
01:02:39Who the hell is this JJ?
01:02:43Where are you going?
01:02:44We're not done here.
01:02:45I can still do this.
01:02:47I just need a little bit of work.
01:02:48What?
01:02:48I can do this.
01:02:49I don't need JJ.
01:02:51I don't need anyone else.
01:02:52We can do this.
01:02:55Go team.
01:02:59What?
01:03:00Just keep going.
01:03:07Shit.
01:03:19What?
01:03:19Where's Jeremy?
01:03:20What?
01:03:22We were just, you know, coming here.
01:03:25Hey babe.
01:03:26Just working out.
01:03:32How could you?
01:03:33You bastard!
01:03:37You might wanna...
01:03:39What?
01:03:41What?
01:03:44What?
01:03:46Mariela!
01:03:48Mariela!
01:03:49You know those aren't mine!
01:03:51At least not all of them.
01:03:54What is wrong with you?
01:04:00What is wrong with you?
01:04:03Used to be so pure.
01:04:06Used to be so pure.
01:04:06Well no more.
01:04:07That's it.
01:04:08Really.
01:04:09That's the last one.
01:04:14I got it.
01:04:22Oh man.
01:04:24I got it.
01:04:29So, I got it.
01:04:31I got it.
01:04:34I got it.
01:04:36So this is a movie.
01:04:37You probably have a whole different character.
01:04:38You know.
01:04:39I actually got it.
01:04:47What is it? What are you doing down here?
01:04:51Waiting for everyone to leave so I can sneak out and get far, far away from here.
01:04:56What?
01:04:57Why? Nothing. Just this blind guy and his dog and...
01:05:03Honey, it's gonna be okay.
01:05:06No, it's not okay.
01:05:09Oh, God. And you know whose fault it is?
01:05:12I'm sorry.
01:05:13It's Jake's. Jake's fault. That blind, cheating bastard.
01:05:18Yes. He is such a dickwad. You need to confront him.
01:05:23Yeah. Yeah, I need to confront him. I mean, it's my birthday and where is he anyway?
01:05:29Like, why isn't he hanging out with me?
01:05:31You know, you just call him here and give him a big piece of your mind.
01:05:34Yeah, a big piece. A big old chunk of my mind. A big piece of it.
01:05:39Yeah.
01:05:41You know, you might wanna...
01:05:44You need to look hot while you break up with him.
01:05:46Yeah, you're right.
01:05:48Why am I wearing a sheet?
01:05:49I know.
01:05:56I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I get shy around beautiful women like you.
01:06:05I got no game.
01:06:13It's not important.
01:06:27Hey, um...
01:06:29Eric, I can't talk right now.
01:06:30No, no, no. I really need to talk to you.
01:06:33Really, Eric, I can't right now, so...
01:06:35No, no, no, no. I just wanted to say I'm sorry about earlier and I'm just embarrassed and I wanna
01:06:42make it up to you.
01:06:43Eric, really? I don't care. It's fine.
01:06:46No, but I do.
01:06:47I mean, I do. I care.
01:06:51I haven't known how to tell you.
01:06:53Maybe because, uh, I don't know, I'm a little shy.
01:06:57But I was wondering or hoping that we could go out sometime.
01:07:04Soon.
01:07:05Because I'm gonna be leaving for a little while and it would be nice to go out.
01:07:08Really? Eric, you're shy. You have no game.
01:07:13No, not really.
01:07:17Yeah, no, I can't do this. Sorry.
01:07:23Okay. Alright.
01:07:26I, uh...
01:07:28Happy birthday, then.
01:07:41Oh, I'm sorry. I was trying to kiss you.
01:07:53Wow.
01:08:06Here I come, baby. Get ready for your big birthday surprise.
01:08:13Oh, Eric, stop. Um, we can't do this.
01:08:17Oh, God, baby. Not again.
01:08:19Oh, no, um...
01:08:19You're a honey happy...
01:08:23What the fuck is this?
01:08:25Who the hell are you, dude?
01:08:26Okay, guys, don't.
01:08:31Cheryl.
01:08:33Baby.
01:08:34What is this?
01:08:36Aw, gee, Cheryl.
01:08:39You're...
01:08:39I've been looking for you all night and you've been...
01:08:43Oh, man, no wonder I couldn't find you.
01:08:45You couldn't find me?
01:08:47What about all those girls' vaginas you were in or your penis getting sucked?
01:08:53Cheryl, honey.
01:08:54No, no.
01:08:55We can work this out.
01:08:56Baby, I love you.
01:08:58Jake, no. You have to go.
01:08:59Baby, I'll be faithful from now on, please.
01:09:01I promise.
01:09:02No, Jake. I can't do this. I'm sorry.
01:09:06Cheryl, come on.
01:09:07No, Jake, please. Just go. Just go. I'm sorry.
01:09:10You're a harmless bitch!
01:09:12How can you do it?
01:09:14Yay! You did it.
01:09:16I'm so proud of you. You got your revenge sex.
01:09:19You've left him a mere shell of a man.
01:09:21Revenge sex?
01:09:24It's really not what it sounds like at all.
01:09:28Right.
01:09:30It all makes sense now.
01:09:33Wow. I feel really stupid.
01:09:36Eric, I'm really... I'm really sorry.
01:09:40Cheryl, I really liked you.
01:09:42And you used me.
01:09:45Eric, please don't go. Please, Eric!
01:09:49Aren't you happy?
01:09:52Well, no. That's not exactly how it's supposed to feel like.
01:09:56You mean the sex? Was it?
01:09:58Yeah.
01:09:59No, we didn't quite do it.
01:10:01Oh. You know, I couldn't seem to do it either.
01:10:04Really?
01:10:04I just never found the right guy.
01:10:06Or guys.
01:10:09Anyway, we better get downstairs. People are starting to leave.
01:10:12I wonder how Sue did.
01:10:25I can't believe she dumped me, man. This is bullshit!
01:10:29God!
01:10:31Oh!
01:10:33You suck it!
01:10:36God, I'm out of here!
01:10:38Yeah!
01:10:39He has good hair, though.
01:10:45Don't use cues on me.
01:10:48Don't use my car, either.
01:11:03Oh, Sue, are you alright?
01:11:07Was it from sex?
01:11:08Did you pop your cork?
01:11:09I don't think so.
01:11:11Not with the guy, anyway.
01:11:13Oh, don't ask.
01:11:14Every possible object.
01:11:17It's like every mechanical thing.
01:11:19It was like...
01:11:20Transformers.
01:11:21They just all became vibrators.
01:11:24I told you.
01:11:25It's indicting.
01:11:28So, what about Chris?
01:11:30The last time I saw him, he was running away for dear life.
01:11:33I told you he was gay.
01:11:35Well, I think I'm just...
01:11:36Oh, cramp.
01:11:39Oh, I think it's broken.
01:11:42So, wait.
01:11:45None of us cashed an RV card.
01:11:51Oh, Joanna, you're so sweet.
01:11:55So, let's now go grab some food.
01:11:57Wanna go?
01:11:57No, thank you.
01:11:59I think I should finish up here.
01:12:02Did you ever find that guy you were looking for?
01:12:04No.
01:12:07I don't know.
01:12:07For some reason, I just realized...
01:12:09He needs to be my first.
01:12:12Or something.
01:12:14Why, do you know him?
01:12:16Sort of.
01:12:16Oh.
01:12:18Well, hey, if you happen to run into him,
01:12:20tell him I'd like to see him again.
01:12:21I don't know him.
01:12:29Love him.
01:12:30Shut it.
01:12:30You wanna do it?
01:12:31I don't wanna hear it from you.
01:12:32You wanna get married?
01:12:33You wanna do it?
01:12:34I'll do it.
01:12:34I'll do it.
01:12:34I'll do it.
01:12:35I'll do it.
01:12:39I'll do it.
01:13:04No, no way.
01:13:23Oh well, there's always next year.
01:13:49It's you. I've been waiting for you, J.J.
01:13:54Okay?
01:13:58Joanna.
01:15:04Wow. That's amazing.
01:15:09Yeah, I didn't know I had it in me. I guess something inspired me.
01:15:16You really captured his expression in his eyes.
01:15:19Yeah, even that little callic he has in his hair.
01:15:25Who's?
01:15:26Eric's.
01:15:28Well, it's him, right?
01:15:31Oh.
01:15:33Yeah.
01:15:36I have to go see him.
01:15:42Well, I think you know what we should do.
01:15:541-900 confess.
01:15:58Sister Terese?
01:16:01Yeah, hon.
01:16:02There was a problem with your credit card. I just need the last three numbers in the back.
01:16:07Oh, sure.
01:16:10It's 271.
01:16:11Um, sister, I know this isn't a confession, but can I ask your opinion on something?
01:16:18Do you think if you do something bad that God will forgive you? Take you back?
01:16:24Sure, hon.
01:16:25Sure.
01:16:26Why not?
01:16:27Why not?
01:16:27As long as you're on the right path.
01:16:30Well, how do you know if you're on that path?
01:16:32I always look for some kind of sign from the universe.
01:16:37Something to let me know that it's all gonna be okay.
01:16:42Sister?
01:16:43Can I get up now?
01:16:45I really gotta pee.
01:16:47No!
01:16:47Hush your trap!
01:16:51Okay, honey, I really need to get back to work, but call back any time.
01:16:55I will.
01:16:57Thanks.
01:17:01Sister?
01:17:02Shut up or I'll punish you hard, you sheep fucker!
01:17:22Eric, wait!
01:17:27Cheryl?
01:17:30Eric, um, look, I am so sorry about everything.
01:17:36I was trying to have revenge sex with you.
01:17:38At the beginning, but then at the end I wasn't.
01:17:42I just didn't want to do that with you.
01:17:45The revenge part, not the sex part.
01:17:49Um, I, I do want to go out with you.
01:17:54And I didn't realize that until this morning.
01:17:58I mean, you're a completely different guy than Jake is, and he's all over these-
01:18:02Eric!
01:18:04Come on, I gotta get going.
01:18:07Oh.
01:18:08Wow.
01:18:09Um, Cheryl, uh, this is my sister Tina.
01:18:12Tina?
01:18:12Cheryl?
01:18:14Hi.
01:18:15Nice to meet you.
01:18:20Um, so, um, do you mind if I call you in a few days, when I get back?
01:18:26Yeah.
01:18:27Sure.
01:18:34Oh.
01:18:36Sorry.
01:18:36No kissing, right?
01:18:37No, kissing.
01:18:38Oh.
01:18:39Mm.
01:18:40Mm.
01:18:56Yeah, did you ever, uh, get those flowers I sent you?
01:19:02I don't even care that you hooked up a plexi
01:19:05Wait, what? I never did that
01:19:09I mean, you don't have to lie about it
01:19:10She told me all about your pierced tongue
01:19:18She must have me mixed up with someone else
01:19:21I wonder who it was
01:19:44At least this birthday is over
01:19:58Dear Lord, please forgive me
01:20:02I mean, if you could just
01:20:05I don't know, like, send me a sign
01:20:40Excuse me, excuse me
01:20:42Do you know where the church is?
01:20:44It's on Bouncing Street
01:20:46Um, yeah, that's the church I go to
01:20:49Or used to go to
01:20:50Um, it's straight up that way and then left
01:20:55Thank you
01:20:57You're more than welcome to come with me if you like
01:21:00Oh, um, I don't know
01:21:10Well, that's pretty powerful
01:21:13Oh, 250 horsepower, 225 pounds of torque
01:21:19Like I said, you're more than welcome to hop on
01:21:23I don't think so
01:21:24But thanks
01:21:26What's your name?
01:21:27Sue
01:21:28What's yours?
01:21:30Jesus
01:21:32Really?
01:21:33Si
01:21:37Maybe
01:21:37Maybe I could use the ride
01:21:38Maybe I could use the ride
01:21:38Maybe I could use the ride
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