- 4 hours ago
A countryside girl discovers her true identity as a powerful aristocratic heiress.
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:35Oh, Dad.
00:00:41Hello?
00:00:42Cheryl, we have to talk about our birthday plans.
00:00:45I mean, it's only two days away, and we still haven't decided the perfect way to celebrate.
00:00:50So, I was thinking, maybe we could all take a trip, too.
00:00:54Sue, I meant to tell you before, but I wanted to be sure.
00:00:59I think I'm going to spend my birthday with Jake.
00:01:03I'm going to lose my virginity to him.
00:01:05You know, I want to surprise him.
00:01:07What?
00:01:08But you can't.
00:01:09I mean, I thought we were going to wait until marriage.
00:01:13Besides, you can't do that to us.
00:01:15You can't break tradition that way.
00:01:19This is bad.
00:01:20You know, I'm going to tell Lexi.
00:01:22She's going to be very unhappy about this.
00:01:32Come on, Lexi.
00:01:47So, girls, what are we going to do for our birthday?
00:01:52Sue, we have plenty of time to figure something out.
00:01:56But this is the big one-eight.
00:01:59I mean, every year since our mom's met in the hospital, we've done something new and special.
00:02:03But this has to be newer and more special.
00:02:07So, what's something we've never done before?
00:02:10Mushrooms?
00:02:11No, not like that.
00:02:12Like something nice.
00:02:15Like maybe a trip.
00:02:16Like a mushroom trip?
00:02:18No.
00:02:22Sorry, Sue.
00:02:22I have a date.
00:02:23Oh, so do I.
00:02:26Sorry, Sue.
00:02:27Don't worry, Sue.
00:02:29We'll figure it out.
00:02:42Oh, flowers.
00:02:43Are these from you?
00:02:44Yeah, sure.
00:02:47Here you go.
00:02:49No card, but I thought I saw one.
00:02:51I didn't know how to put my feelings into words.
00:02:55I guess, um, you still make me nervous.
00:03:01Oh, Jake.
00:03:06Maybe I should come in and hang out for a minute.
00:03:09Uh, no, Jake, not yet.
00:03:11When we do it, I want it to be really special.
00:03:14The best night of my life.
00:03:16It will be, I promise.
00:03:18It will always be amazing with you and me together.
00:03:31Jake, no, I have to go.
00:03:33I have to work on my art project.
00:03:35You know, I thought art was going to be a really easy elective,
00:03:38but I guess I should have taken more math.
00:03:42Uh, so you're going to come to my birthday, okay?
00:03:45This Saturday?
00:03:47Of course.
00:03:52Thanks.
00:03:54Okay.
00:03:55Bye.
00:04:05No, no, no, no, no.
00:04:07Oh, baby.
00:04:09You're so hot.
00:04:10I'm going to do you so good.
00:04:11Oh, yeah, baby.
00:04:13Yeah.
00:04:13What was your name again?
00:04:14Rod.
00:04:15Sex guy.
00:04:20Oh.
00:04:21Lexi is so upset she's speechless.
00:04:26Yeah, right.
00:04:27I bet.
00:04:34Cheryl's losing her virginity on Saturday?
00:04:38Oh, no.
00:04:39Does not compute.
00:04:41Want to talk in person ASAP.
00:04:47Oh, huh.
00:04:48Hi.
00:04:51When did you get home?
00:04:52So, is it true?
00:04:54Yes, it is.
00:04:56It's just, it's the right time, and Jake's the right man.
00:05:00I mean, he's handsome and smart and wealthy,
00:05:06and he has a really bright future ahead of him.
00:05:08So, I just think it's the right time.
00:05:12Lexi, tell her.
00:05:13Losing our virginity is one of those milestones we should all face together.
00:05:17On our birthday, yes, but not on this birthday.
00:05:19Like, maybe on our 23rd birthday, or maybe even, like, our 28th, maybe.
00:05:29Listen, guys, I know it's tradition, but I'm sorry.
00:05:36I know it's tradition, but I'm sorry.
00:05:46But Cheryl, Sue is right.
00:05:49We do always do something special on our birthday.
00:05:52Oh, does Jake really have such a tiny little needle dip?
00:05:56It's not Jake.
00:05:58It's the male ideal.
00:06:00Like, a Greek god, or Sue's dad.
00:06:05Right.
00:06:07Oh, yeah, I guess you're right.
00:06:09Being it kind of sucks.
00:06:10I'm not really an artist.
00:06:12Girls, can you just stop changing the subject?
00:06:14The point is, we should all lose our virginities together on the same day.
00:06:18And I'm just not ready yet.
00:06:21I'm waiting for a sign.
00:06:22And then I'll know it's right.
00:06:24Look, I can go either way.
00:06:26I mean, I'm fine with just 69, 79, anal.
00:06:32I don't feel any rush to actually do the deed.
00:06:35Besides, I know it'll never live up to my rabbit anyway.
00:06:39But if you want to do it this year, then maybe we all should.
00:06:44You know, it could be like our big 18th birthday thing.
00:06:52Where are you going?
00:06:53It's 6.30 in the morning.
00:06:55To church.
00:06:56To pray for you.
00:06:57I want to be first in line, Mom.
00:07:00I'm getting Mrs.
00:07:02Yeah, me too.
00:07:12Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.
00:07:15It has been four days since my last confession.
00:07:17I accused myself of the following sins.
00:07:19Mm-hmm.
00:07:22Okay, so I'm really embarrassed to talk about this, but...
00:07:26It's about sex.
00:07:28Mm-hmm.
00:07:31I mean, not me.
00:07:32I've never gone past second base with a guy.
00:07:35Oh.
00:07:37I've never even seen a guy as...
00:07:39Well, there was that one time I took the pants off my Ken doll.
00:07:42But I was dressing him up as Jesus, and I wanted to see his thing.
00:07:47But there was nothing there.
00:07:51Okay, so it's about my friends.
00:07:53My best friends.
00:07:56They're going to do something really bad this weekend.
00:07:58Okay.
00:08:00Third base.
00:08:02What?
00:08:03No.
00:08:04Like, sex.
00:08:05Like, intercourse.
00:08:07With boys, they barely even know.
00:08:09I mean, they really need us intervention.
00:08:11If you know what I mean.
00:08:12All the way.
00:08:13Go all the way.
00:08:16What?
00:08:17What?
00:08:21How could you do this?
00:08:23You're a bad, bad person.
00:08:28What?
00:08:29What?
00:08:35Yes.
00:08:36Yes.
00:08:37Run.
00:08:38Run.
00:08:39Home route.
00:08:41Ah.
00:08:42Damn it.
00:08:45Fuck you Yankees.
00:08:49Sorry.
00:09:13Sue.
00:09:14It is 1 p.m.
00:09:16What do you have a little consideration?
00:09:18I'm trying to sleep.
00:09:21Jeez.
00:09:21Can you guys please keep it down?
00:09:25I have an announcement to make.
00:09:26I want to do it.
00:09:29Do you hear me?
00:09:30I want to do it.
00:09:32This weekend.
00:09:34On our birthday.
00:09:35Do what?
00:09:38It.
00:09:39Screw.
00:09:40Screwing.
00:09:41Boning.
00:09:42Making beasts with two backs.
00:09:44You know.
00:09:44Shagging.
00:09:45Fucking.
00:09:48You do.
00:09:50But what about all your religious stuff?
00:09:53And what about your sign from heaven?
00:09:56Oh.
00:09:56I got a sign.
00:09:57At church.
00:09:58Really?
00:10:00Well.
00:10:01Okay.
00:10:02Great.
00:10:03We're all in then.
00:10:05So we'll have a big pool party.
00:10:07And we'll do it there.
00:10:08Right?
00:10:10Right.
00:10:13I'll start making the shopping list.
00:10:23Hey, Frank.
00:10:26Hi, Sue.
00:10:28Guys, we didn't invite Frank to the party.
00:10:31I don't know.
00:10:31Do you think he'd even have fun?
00:10:33Yeah.
00:10:33He's blind.
00:10:35Blind people can do everything regular people can do.
00:10:42Wait, wait, right?
00:10:44Hey, um, I was wondering, we're throwing this party tomorrow night.
00:10:49It's for our birthday.
00:10:51Do you want to come?
00:10:52Do you think he can see at my shore?
00:11:07Well, the house looks done.
00:11:10Tomorrow's the big day.
00:11:12We finally turn 18.
00:11:13And finally lose our virginity.
00:11:16Well, we better get our baby sleep because the party starts tomorrow at 2.
00:11:19So, okay, we know who Cheryl's going to do it with, Jake, and I'll probably do that guy Rod.
00:11:26But Sue, who are you going to pick?
00:11:28It's a poppy chair.
00:11:29It's easy.
00:11:30I've known for the past six years, ever since catty kissing.
00:11:36What the fuck is catty kissing?
00:11:38I think it's a baby panda wrapped in peanut butter.
00:11:40Yeah.
00:11:50My soulmate.
00:11:53Chris?
00:11:55Sue, you, um, might want to think about picking a backup.
00:12:00I mean...
00:12:01What?
00:12:01No, Chris is perfect.
00:12:03He played Jesus in Jesus Christ Superstar last year at camp.
00:12:06Plus, his name's Chris.
00:12:08It's a sign.
00:12:09Sue, the only sign is that Chris has a major case of gay face.
00:12:15What?
00:12:16He does not.
00:12:17Anyway, there's no such thing as gay face.
00:12:19He looks just like Justin Bieber.
00:12:22With a little bit of Zac Efron and just a hint of Ryan Seacrest.
00:12:26Who the fuck's Ryan Seacrest?
00:12:29Look, Chris is my soulmate.
00:12:32Okay, well, sweet dreams.
00:12:35See you in the morning.
00:12:43I knew it would happen someday.
00:12:45I just didn't expect it to happen so soon.
00:12:50I knew it would happen.
00:13:20You're so perfect.
00:13:33I knew it would happen someday.
00:13:58I knew that's what I look like.
00:14:18Too bad no one could ever compare to you.
00:14:37Tomorrow's the day.
00:14:37Tomorrow's the day.
00:15:01Oh, my gosh.
00:15:02They're coming.
00:15:04Lexi, Cheryl, hurry.
00:15:09Ew, why?
00:15:11It's for Jake to unwrap me.
00:15:13It's going to be really sexy.
00:15:15I'm going to surprise you.
00:15:16You're going to die of asphyxiation.
00:15:18It's going to be really sexy.
00:15:20It's stupid.
00:15:21Just screw him.
00:15:23That's what he wants.
00:15:23Look what all guys want.
00:15:25Who hurt you as a child?
00:15:27Oh, Christ.
00:15:28I'm going to have your mouth, too.
00:15:31Anyway, what guys want is someone who's sexy,
00:15:34not someone they can just have sex with.
00:15:36You're an idiot.
00:15:37A very smooth, plastic-wrapped idiot.
00:15:42Guys, seriously, come on, hurry up.
00:15:49Oh, what a cool...
00:15:51Bracelet.
00:15:52I love it.
00:15:55You should put that down, though,
00:15:56because it's like...
00:15:57It's very fragile.
00:15:58Yeah.
00:16:00Set it down.
00:16:01Hurry up.
00:16:05Those are your anal beads, right?
00:16:06Yeah.
00:16:07All right.
00:16:07All right.
00:16:36Let's go.
00:16:37I'm going to make sure it's nice.
00:16:39Come on.
00:16:43Cheers, cheers, cheers, cheers, cheers.
00:16:48Happy birthday, Lex.
00:16:51No, Joanna.
00:16:52We said no gifts.
00:16:54That is lip poison to plump your lips,
00:16:57but be careful, it stings.
00:16:59And the other one is edible massage oil.
00:17:02Oh, how did you know?
00:17:04I mean, I'm going to use both of these tonight.
00:17:12Foster, you're such a beauty.
00:17:15Please don't touch my service time.
00:17:18All right.
00:17:18Sorry.
00:17:18Are you okay now?
00:17:20Yeah, I'm fine.
00:17:21Okay.
00:17:21See you later.
00:17:26I can't believe you haven't heard of it.
00:17:28This is crazy.
00:17:29Jake!
00:17:30Hi!
00:17:32Hey, Ben.
00:17:33Happy birthday.
00:17:36Oh, you didn't have to give me anything.
00:17:39What?
00:17:40You want a beer?
00:17:44No.
00:17:48Oh, hon.
00:17:50Come here.
00:17:54I have your present here.
00:17:55I'll give it to you later.
00:17:57The time's right.
00:17:59You didn't have to give me anything.
00:18:02And I have a present for you
00:18:04that I want you to wrap later.
00:18:08Hey, bro.
00:18:10We need you to settle this bet over here real quick.
00:18:13We'll bet.
00:18:17All right, this is my man right here.
00:18:20Hey.
00:18:20Hey.
00:18:21How you doing?
00:18:22Hey.
00:18:32Check it out!
00:18:35Dare me?
00:18:40Woo!
00:18:41Woo!
00:18:41Woo!
00:18:42Woo!
00:18:42Woo!
00:18:42Woo!
00:18:47Woo!
00:18:48Woo!
00:18:49Woo!сяg
00:18:49Cause he's down here. Oh,
00:18:54dude. Look at
00:18:55those. Are those
00:18:56real? I don't
00:18:57- Have you guys
00:18:57seen Cheryl? Hey! Ah!
00:18:59Dude,
00:18:59move!
00:19:00Come on, lame!
00:19:01Come on, lame.
00:19:02Oh, all right.
00:19:03OK. I'll see
00:19:03you guys
00:19:04later. Move! Go do some
00:19:05push-ups
00:19:05or something. Aw, the moves.
00:19:0620 bucks says, by the end of the day, I will be motorboating those kitties.
00:19:13They're fake anyways.
00:19:15Who cares?
00:19:16Okay.
00:19:20Oh, dude, dude.
00:19:22I'm blind, you fucking asshole.
00:19:28Sue, no, it's your birthday. Here, let me.
00:19:30Joanna, no, just go enjoy the party.
00:19:33Come on.
00:19:39Hey, do my lips look any plumper?
00:19:41I put this stuff on, but I can't really feel anything yet.
00:19:46Have you guys seen Jake? I haven't seen him anywhere.
00:19:48It just, like, disappeared.
00:20:03Are these real?
00:20:04Of course they are.
00:20:07How come I could have met you before?
00:20:10I don't know. Maybe he's going to be around.
00:20:12Ryan, have you seen Jake?
00:20:13Um, I think he's around or something. Maybe upstairs. I don't know.
00:20:20Maybe he wants to go get my birthday present. That's probably where he went.
00:20:25Oh, well.
00:20:28Liquid courage?
00:20:30Yeah.
00:20:31Atta girl.
00:20:35Vodka cranberry?
00:20:37Surely simple.
00:20:40Well, I guess it's now or never. I've got to go meet Rod.
00:20:44Sue?
00:20:45Are you okay?
00:20:47Sue?
00:20:48Relax.
00:20:50They're just guys.
00:20:52Okay, nothing to be scared of. Seriously.
00:20:54You're going to be fine.
00:20:55Is Chris here?
00:21:02Wow, it's even worse in person, isn't it?
00:21:05No, he does not have gay face.
00:21:08I'm going to prove it to you.
00:21:10I'm going to do it.
00:21:16Wow, it's even worse in person, isn't it?
00:21:19No, he does not have gay face.
00:21:22I'm going to prove it to you.
00:21:24I'm going to do it.
00:21:25I'm going to do this.
00:21:27Good luck.
00:21:30Okay, you can do this.
00:21:33Just act like a slut.
00:21:37Just pretend you're looks.
00:21:47Yeah, my favorite chapter is Sondam Gmore.
00:21:52Chris, hi.
00:21:54Can I talk to you?
00:21:56Uh-huh.
00:21:57Uh, in private?
00:21:59No.
00:22:14Hey, Lexi.
00:22:15Hey, Lexi.
00:22:16What?
00:22:18What?
00:22:18Chris.
00:22:19You're so sexy.
00:22:22Ever since you played Jesus at camp, I've just, I've known that we were meant to be together.
00:22:29And I really want to, I really want to, oh, what are you doing?
00:22:35Is that wrong?
00:22:36Sue, what's gotten into you?
00:22:38Nothing.
00:22:39I'm sorry.
00:22:40I don't know how to do this.
00:22:42Sue.
00:22:44Sue, Sue, Sue.
00:22:47I understand these urges.
00:22:52And, you know, I like you too.
00:22:56Really?
00:22:57You do?
00:22:58I do.
00:22:59I really do.
00:23:01I like you too.
00:23:03Really?
00:23:04You do?
00:23:04I do.
00:23:05I really do.
00:23:07It's just, I've devoted a lot of my life to one certain man.
00:23:15Right.
00:23:16Lexi said you were...
00:23:17Jesus.
00:23:18Oh.
00:23:20That man.
00:23:21Of course.
00:23:22What did you think?
00:23:23Oh, nothing.
00:23:25So we can still do this then?
00:23:28Oh, Sue, you know, for me, when I think about that man who died for our sins, when I think
00:23:40about him up there on that cross, so helpless, yet so muscular, with his strong thighs crossed
00:23:54over each other, so delicately, beneath that ragged loincloth, growing so hot, so sweaty, under that hot, hot sun.
00:24:09I just feel such compassion.
00:24:13I think about those things, too.
00:24:15So you understand why I can't do this?
00:24:19Not really.
00:24:21I just find it too hard.
00:24:23It is to give in to carnal pleasure when he sacrificed so much for us.
00:24:33So...
00:24:43I'm going to go out there, right?
00:24:45Andy, we're going to tell you for these ones.
00:24:47Hey, Ty.
00:24:48Whoa!
00:24:50Have you seen Jake?
00:24:51Uh, no.
00:24:53No.
00:24:54All right.
00:24:58Okay.
00:24:59All right, focus.
00:25:00Focus, focus.
00:25:01Focus.
00:25:07Oh, there he is.
00:25:11Oh, he got me the puppy that I wanted.
00:25:27How could he?
00:25:32Sue, what happened?
00:25:35Did you guys do it?
00:25:36Sue?
00:25:38He doesn't want me.
00:25:40Because he's gay.
00:25:42No, he's not.
00:25:43He just really loves Jesus.
00:25:45Oh, come on, Sue.
00:25:47The only reason we even liked him is because you knew he was never a real possibility for you.
00:25:52Look, the only way you were going to find out what kind of man you really want is to know
00:25:58what kind of woman you really are, deep inside.
00:26:03What?
00:26:04Come with me.
00:26:06Where?
00:26:06To meet your dark side.
00:26:15Out.
00:26:17Everyone out.
00:26:27Sue, it's time for you and your vagina to meet face to face.
00:26:44I really can't.
00:26:46I really don't think I can do this.
00:26:49I'm not letting you out until you look.
00:26:55I'm not letting you out until you look.
00:27:00Sue?
00:27:02Can you see it?
00:27:04Sue.
00:27:09I'm almost...
00:27:11I'm almost there.
00:27:17What?
00:27:19What?
00:27:20Sue, what happened?
00:27:22What did you see?
00:27:23A raccoon?
00:27:25What?
00:27:26You overshot it.
00:27:28Aim the mirror further up.
00:27:37I can't.
00:27:38Please don't make me do that again.
00:27:40Okay, fine.
00:27:41Fine.
00:27:42I didn't want to do this, but you leave me no choice.
00:27:46What?
00:27:47You really need an orgasm.
00:27:50Honestly, I don't know how you expected to ever have sex with someone else when you've never even had it
00:27:55with yourself.
00:27:56This really has to be your first step.
00:27:58Lex, I'm ready.
00:28:00Coming.
00:28:01Sue, my black vibrator is somewhere in the top drawer.
00:28:04Just find it and use it.
00:28:06Wait, what does the black vibrator look like?
00:28:09It's black.
00:28:10It vibrates.
00:28:13Come on, Rod.
00:28:14Let's go to Sue's room.
00:28:18Don't come back until you have at least one orgasm.
00:28:32Hey, cutie!
00:28:34Cutie!
00:28:38Oh!
00:28:40Boozeye!
00:28:42Oh, yeah!
00:28:46Big.
00:28:47Big.
00:28:48Bang!
00:28:49Bang!
00:28:51Good boy.
00:28:52Straighten up.
00:28:53Good boy.
00:28:54Good boy.
00:28:56He knows over a hundred commands.
00:29:00I'm sorry, I can't see anything.
00:29:02That is not funny, Cheryl.
00:29:05What a bitch.
00:29:06Fortunately, when you're blind, you get used to things like that.
00:29:09Oh, my God.
00:29:18Oh.
00:29:24Oh.
00:29:28Oh.
00:29:30Oh.
00:29:30Oh.
00:29:34Oh.
00:29:36Oh.
00:29:45What's wrong with this thing?
00:30:06Cheryl, what is wrong?
00:30:09Lexi, it's Jake.
00:30:11He was getting a blowjob by some pink-haired girl.
00:30:15For sure?
00:30:17I mean, I know I've been putting off having sex with him,
00:30:19so maybe it's my fault.
00:30:21That's no excuse. He's a dirtbag. How dare he?
00:30:25No, it's awful.
00:30:27I mean, I thought I was gonna marry him.
00:30:35It's a text. It's from him.
00:30:38I can't bear myself to read it.
00:30:39Okay.
00:30:41He's looking for you.
00:30:42He wants to give you your birthday gift.
00:30:45Oh, I can't face him.
00:30:47I have to go. I'm going.
00:30:49No, you can't just leave.
00:30:51Well, I can't stay and just pretend like nothing happened.
00:30:54I mean, maybe I should confront him.
00:30:57He'll either deny it or admit and promise never to do it again.
00:31:00Either way, it's bullshit.
00:31:02I see only one option.
00:31:05I'm leaving.
00:31:06Revenge sex.
00:31:08Re- I mean, what? What does that even mean?
00:31:10It means you find a guy, you screw his brains out,
00:31:13and you let Jake catch you.
00:31:17Revenge sex.
00:31:19Re- I mean, what? What does that even mean?
00:31:21It means you find a guy, you screw his brains out,
00:31:24and you let Jake catch you.
00:31:27But he- I mean, he doesn't even care.
00:31:29He doesn't even care about me.
00:31:30I mean, why would-
00:31:31He's just into other girls.
00:31:33Trust me, he'll care.
00:31:36Seriously, this is the worst thing you can do to him.
00:31:38To his ego.
00:31:40To screw someone else when you've never even had sex with him.
00:31:44Especially if it's with someone smarter, better looking,
00:31:47and with a bigger dick.
00:31:50No, I- I couldn't.
00:31:51Plus, I mean, there's- there's no one smarter and better looking.
00:31:56Eric!
00:31:57He's perfect!
00:31:58Eric Hall?
00:31:59Are you kidding?
00:32:01I mean, he wouldn't even be into me.
00:32:03He likes your type.
00:32:05Really?
00:32:06And what type is that?
00:32:07He's bloody.
00:32:09Yeah.
00:32:10Trust me, he's amazing.
00:32:12I fooled around with him once.
00:32:13He has this great tongue ring.
00:32:15Oh, no.
00:32:16I could never fool around with somebody you've fooled around with.
00:32:19Okay, then.
00:32:20Fine.
00:32:21We will find someone else.
00:32:23Someone that I haven't fooled around with.
00:32:30Okay, what does it matter that I fooled around with him?
00:32:32I mean, it's- you're not going to marry the guy.
00:32:35No, I just couldn't do it.
00:32:37Fine.
00:32:38If you want to live the rest of your life knowing that you had one chance to do the right
00:32:42thing,
00:32:42to make your boyfriend feel like a total, worthless piece of garbage,
00:32:46and possibly even scar him with the rest of his existence,
00:32:49and you chose not to do it,
00:32:51go ahead.
00:32:52But honestly, I don't know how you'll be able to live with yourself.
00:32:56I don't know.
00:33:00But honestly, I don't know how you'll be able to live with yourself.
00:33:04I don't know.
00:33:06Trust me.
00:33:07It's going to work.
00:33:14I will intercept Jake and get him upstairs.
00:33:18Hi, Cheryl.
00:33:19Are you okay enough to chat with your parents?
00:33:22Oh, no!
00:33:34Hey.
00:33:36Happy birthday.
00:33:39Thanks.
00:34:03Have you guys seen Jake?
00:34:09So...
00:34:12Happy birthday.
00:34:16Do you know that most people think that the happy birthday song was from Britain?
00:34:20But it's actually from us.
00:34:22US.
00:34:24America.
00:34:26United States.
00:34:28I know where we live.
00:34:30Right.
00:34:31Of course.
00:34:35I know where we live.
00:34:37Right.
00:34:38Of course.
00:34:44Hey, Jesus, Eric.
00:34:45Are you going to make your move or not?
00:34:47Oh, you want me to move?
00:34:48Yeah, no.
00:34:48I can totally move.
00:34:49I just...
00:34:50No.
00:34:51You're fine.
00:35:04Jake!
00:35:08So, Eric, do you want to do it or not?
00:35:10Oh.
00:35:11You...
00:35:12I'm sorry.
00:35:12It?
00:35:13What, um...
00:35:15It.
00:35:16Like...
00:35:17Monkey boning and, like, pigs in a blanket.
00:35:20Get real nasty.
00:35:22Oh!
00:35:23Oh!
00:35:24You mean, like...
00:35:26Uh...
00:35:27Right now?
00:35:28I mean, well...
00:35:30Yeah.
00:35:31You know, the sooner the better.
00:35:34Yeah.
00:35:34Sure.
00:35:35I mean, well...
00:35:35Yeah, of course.
00:35:36Um...
00:35:37I just never realized that you...
00:35:39I mean...
00:35:41Whew.
00:35:43Uh...
00:35:45It's just...
00:35:47You're so...
00:35:50You're so beautiful.
00:35:52Okay.
00:35:53Um...
00:35:53Hmm?
00:35:54Uh, no kissing.
00:35:57Right.
00:35:58Um...
00:35:58Of course.
00:36:00Sorry.
00:36:04So, um...
00:36:06Do you wanna unwrap me?
00:36:09Oh, wow.
00:36:10Uh...
00:36:10You're wrapped up like a Hot Pocket.
00:36:12Or...
00:36:12Leftover macaroni and cheese.
00:36:15Now that you're left over, you're not.
00:36:18You're fresh.
00:36:21Now that you're left over, you're not.
00:36:23Yeah.
00:36:24Uh...
00:36:25You're fresh.
00:36:26Organic.
00:36:28Yep.
00:36:31So, the wrap.
00:36:32Right.
00:36:35Um...
00:36:36Where's the, uh...
00:36:37It's...
00:36:37The end is...
00:36:39It's just, like, right over here.
00:36:40Oh, oh, yeah.
00:36:40Here it is.
00:36:41Yeah.
00:36:41I see it.
00:36:42Um...
00:36:42Let me just, uh...
00:36:46Ow!
00:36:46Ow!
00:36:46Ow!
00:36:46Ow!
00:36:47Ow!
00:36:47Sorry!
00:36:47Sorry!
00:36:48I, um...
00:36:49It's...
00:36:49It's okay.
00:36:50Here.
00:36:51Do it again.
00:36:53Sorry, I, uh...
00:36:55I, uh...
00:36:55I bite my nails, so it's a little difficult.
00:36:57You know what?
00:36:57Let me just lay on the bed.
00:37:01Okay.
00:37:07Uh...
00:37:07Let me just...
00:37:09See...
00:37:10Oh!
00:37:11Here it is.
00:37:11I got it.
00:37:12Alright.
00:37:13Just, um...
00:37:13Pull it.
00:37:19Oh, geez!
00:37:20Uh, Cheryl, are you...
00:37:21You okay?
00:37:24Uh...
00:37:26Ah...
00:37:27Hey, Cheryl, are you okay?
00:37:29Oh, geez.
00:37:35Well, that was stupid.
00:37:42Yeah.
00:37:48How are you doing tonight?
00:37:50You having a good time?
00:37:52Jake, I think I saw Cheryl upstairs.
00:37:56What?
00:37:57I can't hear you.
00:38:00I didn't have a beer.
00:38:02Chips are so damn salty.
00:38:03Jake!
00:38:04Sorry, we're...
00:38:05Upstairs.
00:38:06Yeah.
00:38:07Hold on.
00:38:08Take a piss.
00:38:10How much beer?
00:38:11How much beer?
00:38:42Finally.
00:38:44I, uh...
00:38:45I'm going to just get the blinds.
00:38:47Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:38:48Um, don't worry about it.
00:38:51What?
00:38:52I mean, I want us to be able to see each other.
00:38:57Oh.
00:38:59Well, okay.
00:39:00Okay.
00:39:18I mean, I want us to be able to see each other.
00:39:30Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:39:30Uh-oh.
00:39:32Well, okay.
00:39:34Okay.
00:39:36Okay.
00:39:41Let's go.
00:40:24What are you doing?
00:40:25Uh, I think it's time, you know, to do it.
00:40:34Um, not yet.
00:40:36More foreplay.
00:40:36Huh?
00:40:36Uh, oh.
00:40:39Oh!
00:40:40Oh!
00:40:40Oh!
00:40:43Oh!
00:40:44It's so good.
00:40:47Oh.
00:40:49Yep.
00:40:50Oh!
00:40:51My god.
00:40:52Jaw, jaw, jaw.
00:40:54What?
00:40:55What?
00:40:56Ah!
00:40:56Ah!
00:40:56Ah!
00:40:58Ah!
00:40:58Ah!
00:40:59Lock jaw, lock jaw.
00:41:01Is that even a thing?
00:41:03I don't know.
00:41:04Oh!
00:41:06Ah!
00:41:07Are you okay?
00:41:11No, no, no, no.
00:41:12It's, uh, it's fine.
00:41:14I'm just, uh, embarrassed.
00:41:16I, it's probably TMJ or fracture, swollen.
00:41:24You sure you're okay?
00:41:26Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.
00:41:27Okay, great.
00:41:28Have fun.
00:41:29Oh!
00:41:32Ah!
00:41:36No!
00:41:37Now, now, what's it do now?
00:41:38No, not yet, not yet.
00:41:42I'm gonna come.
00:41:43I'm gonna come.
00:41:44Are you ready?
00:41:45No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:41:47No, no, no, not yet.
00:41:49Lexi!
00:41:49Lexi!
00:41:50Oh!
00:41:51Ugh!
00:41:55No, no, no, not yet.
00:41:57Lexi!
00:41:57Lexi!
00:41:58Oh!
00:41:59Ugh!
00:42:01No means no.
00:42:02Huh?
00:42:03Oh, I'm so sorry.
00:42:04I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
00:42:05It's been a really long time, and I just, I haven't
00:42:07been masturbating for anything.
00:42:13Uh-oh.
00:42:16Oh, hey, Jake.
00:42:19How are you doing?
00:42:22How's it going?
00:42:23Good.
00:42:24Eric?
00:42:25Come on.
00:42:26Eric, help me.
00:42:27I'm glad I can't see anything.
00:42:30Excuse me.
00:42:35Cheryl's in here.
00:42:41What's up, brother?
00:42:42What the fuck is that?
00:42:46Hey, wait!
00:42:48Lex.
00:42:49Hey, I'm still waiting.
00:42:57Oh, I'm sorry.
00:42:58I can't see.
00:42:59I'm blind.
00:43:02Damn it.
00:43:03I'm gonna say something to that bitch.
00:43:06Hey, you.
00:43:09You better stop making fun of the blind, or I'm gonna teach you a lesson.
00:43:13Ow!
00:43:15I'm so sorry.
00:43:17I'll never make fun of the blind again.
00:43:20Ah!
00:43:45Oh man, no more water balloons.
00:43:47Sparty's ass!
00:43:52Yeah!
00:43:57This just isn't working.
00:44:00Nothing.
00:44:01It's the big deal about these vibrators, anyway.
00:44:06I care that they have a lot of sticks.
00:44:09Spark it up!
00:44:11Yes!
00:44:15Oh, man!
00:44:16I love this game!
00:44:18We're going to the controllers.
00:44:19We've got to play.
00:44:20Here, here, here.
00:44:20Okay, let me find another one.
00:44:25Whoo!
00:44:27Look at this!
00:44:29Oh, my God!
00:44:32Oh, man!
00:44:33Get that thing away!
00:44:34Jesus!
00:44:43Hey, dude.
00:44:44Nice shot.
00:44:44What's that?
00:44:46Wasn't me.
00:44:51Whoa, whoa!
00:44:53Nice!
00:44:55Are you sitting there or something?
00:44:58Hey, you found the grenade launcher.
00:45:00Nice!
00:45:01Nice!
00:45:14Do you have the extra controller?
00:45:27Whoa!
00:45:30You are the controller!
00:45:32No!
00:45:33I just...
00:45:33I didn't...
00:45:35I swear...
00:45:47You made it...
00:45:48You made it...
00:45:49You made it...
00:45:49You made it...
00:45:49Hey, Sue!
00:45:50You made it...
00:45:50Hey, Sue!
00:45:51What are you doing, man?
00:45:54Hey, Sue!
00:45:55Um...
00:45:55Hey, Sue!
00:46:08Hey, didn't you hear me calling you?
00:46:10Yeah, I just needed to...
00:46:12Oh, sure.
00:46:16Listen, Sue, I was rethinking what I said earlier.
00:46:21You were?
00:46:23You mean...
00:46:25Yeah.
00:46:29So you think we should give it a try?
00:46:33Can we go get a drink?
00:46:38Wow, um, your toilet's really...
00:46:41You know what?
00:46:44I gotta go.
00:46:45Um, happy birthday.
00:46:46No, Chris, no, there wasn't...
00:46:48I didn't...
00:46:49Oh, God, never mind.
00:46:55It's the end of the world.
00:46:58Fantastic, perfect, perfect.
00:47:04This is the worst idea ever.
00:47:07Never going to have sex.
00:47:09Ow.
00:47:31Hello?
00:47:32A little attention here.
00:47:33Oh, yeah.
00:47:35Sorry.
00:47:41Lex, don't be selfish.
00:47:44All right.
00:47:45Sorry.
00:47:47All right.
00:47:48All right.
00:48:00Jeez, who invented this stupid position anyway?
00:48:05Too much fucking multitasking.
00:48:08Screw it.
00:48:13All right.
00:48:19All right.
00:48:21All right.
00:48:28All right.
00:48:30All right.
00:48:30All right.
00:48:30All right.
00:48:31All right.
00:48:31All right.
00:48:32All right.
00:48:33All right.
00:48:34All right.
00:48:34All right.
00:48:35All right.
00:48:52Oh, no, that was bad.
00:48:56That was so bad.
00:49:12Joanna, do you know a guy named JJ?
00:49:17I think that guy's name starts with a J.
00:49:23Hey, does your name start with a J?
00:49:27Yes, it does.
00:49:29So, you're JJ?
00:49:31Uh-uh.
00:49:31That was a kill.
00:49:56Hello.
00:49:57Welcome to 1-900 Confess.
00:49:59Would you like a priest or a nun today?
00:50:02A nun.
00:50:03Please punch in your credit card number.
00:50:10Please hold.
00:50:12Thank goodness.
00:50:161-900 Confession.
00:50:18How may I be of service?
00:50:20It's been one day since my last confession.
00:50:22I accuse myself of the following sins.
00:50:25One day.
00:50:33Is that too long?
00:50:35I would have come this morning, but it's my 18th birthday.
00:50:38Go on.
00:50:39Um, okay, well, I've been touching myself inappropriately.
00:50:44Well, actually, I didn't know a washing machine did.
00:50:47What's your problem?
00:50:48A washing machine touched her.
00:50:52Well, you know, I sat on a washing machine and, well...
00:50:56All right, freak.
00:50:57Time's up.
00:50:58What?
00:50:58But what do I do?
00:50:59Just unplug the thing.
00:51:01No, but...
00:51:02But I think I might have had an orgasm.
00:51:05Well, then be happy.
00:51:08You found the perfect man.
00:51:09I'm serious.
00:51:10Look, honey, you seem like a nice young lady, so...
00:51:15I'll tell you this.
00:51:17Masturbation isn't a sin.
00:51:20No contritions?
00:51:22You broke no covenant with God.
00:51:24It's not in the Bible.
00:51:26So the washing machine could touch me anytime?
00:51:30Like morning, afternoon, night?
00:51:33Yes, and other things can touch you.
00:51:36Accidental masturbation is not a sin.
00:51:39Neither is intentional masturbation.
00:51:42Huh.
00:51:44God's pretty cool that way.
00:51:45He sure is.
00:51:47Now run along.
00:51:51Wow.
00:51:53How do you know all that?
00:51:55Because I'm a nun.
00:51:57Now eat my pussy, bitch.
00:52:00Huh.
00:52:00Accidental masturbation.
00:52:02Who'd it think?
00:52:05You're a dog.
00:52:13Got your dog?
00:52:25I'm a dog on my nose.
00:52:27All right.
00:52:30What?
00:52:31What?
00:52:32What?
00:52:35No, I have to get laid if it's the last thing I do you go girl
00:52:42What are you doing here
00:52:45We needed someplace private
00:52:47But hey listen if you're serious about getting laid
00:52:50Yeah, if you want someone great. I mean really the best ever
00:52:57No offense
00:53:00Frank the blind guy
00:53:02Really? I'm telling you he's amazing
00:53:07I had food sex with him a few weeks ago. It was like nothing I've ever experienced before
00:53:13It was like we used all our senses
00:53:16Everything
00:53:19If you're interested, I'll set it up
00:53:23All right
00:53:31What about him? Jeremy
00:53:33Oh yeah, I know Jeremy
00:53:35Hey, I think I fooled around with him once
00:53:38I didn't know his last name though
00:53:41It's Jones
00:53:43Jeremy Jones
00:53:44This all makes sense
00:53:46Excuse me
00:53:48Jeremy
00:53:50Hi
00:53:52Who's on the phone?
00:53:53Oh, that's my new girlfriend
00:53:55You'll meet her
00:53:56Could be here in like an hour
00:53:58Wait, you have a girlfriend?
00:54:15Oh, hey Frank
00:54:17Sit
00:54:22Oh, you meant the dog
00:54:27Relax
00:54:30You need to relax and calm down
00:54:42Oh, I'm relaxed, I'm fine
00:54:45Why are you biting your nail?
00:54:47I'm not
00:54:51How did you know that?
00:54:55Corner
00:55:00Sit
00:55:02Roll over
00:55:06Oh, you mean me
00:55:10Roll over
00:55:14Oh, you mean me
00:55:16Oh, how do you
00:55:18How do you want me to
00:55:20Just like that
00:55:21Oh, oh
00:55:34I shouldn't even be doing this
00:55:35But
00:55:37Considering it a teachable moment
00:55:40Okay
00:55:43Oh
00:55:47See me with your hands
00:55:52Alright
00:55:53Uh
00:56:01You know, I should really
00:56:02I have a boyfriend
00:56:03And I shouldn't be doing this
00:56:04Really
00:56:18Mmm
00:56:20Peanut butter
00:56:36Frank
00:56:37Frank
00:56:38Frank
00:56:42Frank
00:56:43Oh, Frank
00:57:10You know, man
00:57:11You know, man
00:57:12You know, give me a chip
00:57:13My chips, homeboy
00:57:14Oh, give me a chip
00:57:15Oh, my chip
00:57:18Give me a chip
00:57:21My chips
00:57:23Guys, why are you making such a mess?
00:57:26Sorry
00:57:35It's just a case of accidental masturbation
00:57:37That's all
00:57:43I don't know
00:57:44I don't know
00:57:44I don't want to do this
00:57:44Go ahead
00:57:45I got it
00:57:46I got it
00:57:46No, really, please
00:57:47I want to help
00:57:52Okay, everybody out
00:57:54Leave
00:57:54Leave, I have to be back
00:58:10You're not even getting the chips
00:58:12They're over here
00:58:13I see some dust
00:58:15Over here
00:58:16So
00:58:19It's just
00:58:20There's so much dust
00:58:22On this floor
00:58:24This is a dirty floor
00:58:25Such a
00:58:27Dirty
00:58:29Dirty floor
00:58:31And I just
00:58:54I think I got all that
00:58:56I'm just gonna
00:58:58I'll see how
00:58:59Oh
00:59:09Frankie
00:59:11Oh, my
00:59:12What was that?
00:59:13What?
00:59:15Oh, fucking shit
00:59:16Man, we gotta smoke
00:59:17Oh, we can smoke in here
00:59:21Stop
00:59:22Frank, stop teasing Frank
00:59:25Oh, shit, fuck
00:59:26Sorry, man
00:59:28We're just looking for a place
00:59:29To finish this roach
00:59:30Oh, I heard something
00:59:31You wanna join us?
00:59:32Uh, no
00:59:34Come on
00:59:34You gotta do it
00:59:36Come on
00:59:36Seriously, guys
00:59:37I need to push your dog, man
00:59:38Dude
00:59:39What's it like being blind?
00:59:40It's trippy
00:59:45Frank?
00:59:47Frank, are we gonna do something soon?
00:59:52Bro, you are
00:59:55Too funny
00:59:56Thanks, man
00:59:58Oh, this is some good stuff
00:59:59I haven't smoked since junior high
01:00:01Dude
01:00:02I haven't stopped smoking since junior high
01:00:04Wait, wait, wait
01:00:06I feel like I was supposed to be doing something
01:00:11Damn, I really can't remember
01:00:12This is some good shit
01:00:33Oh, no
01:00:34You're the devil
01:00:36No more
01:00:41JJ
01:00:41I'm
01:00:42Jeremy
01:00:43You have to remember that amazing time we had together, don't you?
01:00:48Please
01:00:48Lex
01:00:49I can't
01:00:52I mean, I got a girlfriend
01:00:54I really like this girl
01:00:55Fine
01:00:57It's just so sad
01:00:58Because I'm wearing this
01:01:01Cupless bra
01:01:02And I also have on crotchless panties
01:01:06With just a little string of pearl in front
01:01:09For extra stimulation
01:01:12Oh
01:01:17We've got like 30 minutes before she gets here
01:01:19Perfect
01:01:24Before she gets here
01:01:26Perfect
01:01:37Do it
01:01:39Let's do it
01:01:40Fuck me
01:01:41Fuck me now
01:01:47What?
01:01:48What's wrong?
01:01:48I can't
01:01:49I can't
01:01:50I can't get it in
01:01:52Just try down there
01:01:53It's like desert down there
01:01:55It's sandpaper
01:01:57I just
01:01:57Okay, I get the picture
01:01:59Just try it again
01:02:03No
01:02:04Why is this happening?
01:02:07We fooled around before
01:02:08I was dripping wet
01:02:10I came like four times
01:02:11I came like four times, remember?
01:02:12Just do what you did then
01:02:13Go on
01:02:14I already did my thing
01:02:15I already tried
01:02:17What?
01:02:19What?
01:02:19What is it different this time?
01:02:21I don't know
01:02:23Last time
01:02:27I honestly don't even know what you're talking about
01:02:29What?
01:02:32You're not JJ?
01:02:34But your name is Jeremy Jones
01:02:36How can you not be JJ?
01:02:39Who the hell is this JJ?
01:02:42Where are you going?
01:02:44We're not done here
01:02:45I can still do this
01:02:46I just need a little bit of work
01:02:47I can do this
01:02:48I don't need JJ
01:02:50I don't need anyone else
01:02:52We can do this
01:02:55Go team
01:02:59What?
01:03:00Just keep going
01:03:07Shit
01:03:18Where's Jeremy?
01:03:21We were just
01:03:22You know
01:03:25Hey babe
01:03:26Just working out
01:03:31How could you
01:03:33You bastard
01:03:37You might want to
01:03:38What?
01:03:41What?
01:03:46Mariela!
01:03:48Mariela!
01:03:49You know those aren't mine
01:03:51At least not all of them
01:03:54What is wrong with you?
01:04:00What is wrong with you?
01:04:03Used to be so pure
01:04:05Well no more
01:04:07That's it
01:04:07Really
01:04:08That's the last one
01:04:13There she is
01:04:14Good
01:04:14Good
01:04:22Good
01:04:27Good
01:04:28Good
01:04:29Good
01:04:29Good
01:04:31Great
01:04:38Very
01:04:47What is it? What are you doing down here?
01:04:51Waiting for everyone to leave so I can sneak out and get far, far away from here.
01:04:56What?
01:04:57Why? Nothing. Just this blind guy and his dog.
01:05:03Honey, it's gonna be okay.
01:05:06No, it's not okay.
01:05:08Oh, God. And you know whose fault it is?
01:05:12I'm sorry.
01:05:12It's Jake's. Jake's fault. That blind, cheating bastard.
01:05:18Yes. He is such a dickwad. You need to confront him.
01:05:22Yeah. Yeah, I need to confront him. I mean, it's my birthday and where is he anyway?
01:05:29Like, why isn't he hanging out with me?
01:05:30You know, you just call him here and give him a big piece of your mind.
01:05:34Yeah, a big piece. A big old chunk of my mind. A big piece of it.
01:05:39Yeah.
01:05:40You know, you might wanna...
01:05:43You need to look hot while you break up with him.
01:05:46Yeah, you're right.
01:05:48Why am I wearing a sheet?
01:05:49No.
01:05:56I'm sorry. I'm so...
01:06:00I get shy around beautiful women like you.
01:06:04I got no game.
01:06:13It's not important.
01:06:27Hey, um...
01:06:29Eric, I can't talk right now.
01:06:30No, no, no. I really need to talk to you.
01:06:33Really, Eric, I can't right now.
01:06:35No, no, no. I just wanted to say I'm sorry about earlier and I'm just embarrassed and I wanna make
01:06:42it up to you.
01:06:43Eric, really?
01:06:44I don't care. It's fine.
01:06:45No, but I do.
01:06:47I mean, I do. I care.
01:06:49I don't care.
01:06:51I haven't known how to tell you.
01:06:53Maybe because, uh, I don't know, I'm a little shy.
01:06:57But I was wondering or hoping that we could go out sometime.
01:07:03Soon.
01:07:04Because I'm gonna be leaving for a little while and it would be nice to go out.
01:07:08Really?
01:07:09Eric, you're shy. You have no game.
01:07:13No, not really.
01:07:17Yeah, no, I can't do this. Sorry.
01:07:22Okay.
01:07:24Alright.
01:07:26I, uh...
01:07:28Happy birthday, then.
01:07:41Oh, I'm sorry. I was trying to kiss you.
01:07:53How's the fuck?
01:07:54My house is so good.
01:07:57Good.
01:08:03How's the fuck?
01:08:04Good.
01:08:06Good.
01:08:07Here I come, baby.
01:08:08Get ready for your big birthday surprise.
01:08:13Oh, Eric, stop, um, we can't do this.
01:08:17Oh, God damn it, not again.
01:08:18Oh, no, um...
01:08:19Cheryl, honey, happy...
01:08:23What the fuck is this?
01:08:24Who the hell are you, dude?
01:08:26Okay, guys, don't.
01:08:31Cheryl, baby, what is this?
01:08:36Aw, gee, Cheryl.
01:08:37Here?
01:08:40I've been looking for you all night and you've been...
01:08:42Oh, man, no wonder I couldn't find you.
01:08:45You couldn't find me?
01:08:47What about all those girls' vaginas you were in
01:08:50or your penis getting sucked?
01:08:52Cheryl, honey.
01:08:54No, no.
01:08:54We can work this out.
01:08:56Baby, I love you.
01:08:58Jake, no, you have to go.
01:08:59Baby, I'll be faithful from now on, please.
01:09:01I promise.
01:09:02No, Jake, I can't do this, I'm sorry.
01:09:05Cheryl, come on.
01:09:06No, Jake, please, just go.
01:09:08Just go, I'm sorry.
01:09:10You're a harmless bitch!
01:09:12How can you do...
01:09:14Yay!
01:09:15You did it.
01:09:16I'm so proud of you.
01:09:17You got your revenge sex.
01:09:19You left him a mere shell of a man.
01:09:21Revenge sex?
01:09:24It's really not what it sounds like at all.
01:09:27Right.
01:09:29It all makes sense now.
01:09:32Wow, I feel really stupid.
01:09:35Eric, I'm really, I'm really sorry.
01:09:39Cheryl, I really liked you.
01:09:42And you used me.
01:09:44Eric, please don't go.
01:09:46Please, Eric!
01:09:49Aren't you happy?
01:09:52Well, no, that's not exactly how it's supposed to feel like.
01:09:55You mean the sex, was it?
01:09:58Yeah.
01:09:59No, we didn't quite do it.
01:10:01Oh.
01:10:01You know, I couldn't seem to do it either.
01:10:04Really?
01:10:04I just never found the right guy.
01:10:06Or guys.
01:10:09Anyway, we better get downstairs, people are starting to leave.
01:10:11I wonder how Sue did.
01:10:25I can't believe she dumped me, man.
01:10:28This is bullshit!
01:10:33Dude, suck it!
01:10:36I'm outta here!
01:10:38Yeah!
01:10:39He has good hair, though.
01:10:45Don't be confused on me.
01:10:47Don't tease in my car, either.
01:11:02Oh Sue, are you alright?
01:11:06Was it from sex?
01:11:08Did you pop your cork?
01:11:09I don't think so.
01:11:10Not with the guy, anyway.
01:11:13Oh, don't ask.
01:11:14Every possible object.
01:11:16It's like every mechanical thing.
01:11:18It was like...
01:11:20Transformers.
01:11:21They just all became vibrators.
01:11:23I told you.
01:11:25It's addicting.
01:11:28So what about Chris?
01:11:30Well, last time I saw him, he was running away for dear life.
01:11:32I told you he was gay.
01:11:34Oh.
01:11:35Well, I think I'm just...
01:11:36Oh.
01:11:37Cramp.
01:11:39Oh.
01:11:40Oh.
01:11:41I think it's broken.
01:11:42So wait.
01:11:44None of us cashed an RV card.
01:11:51Oh, Joanna, you're so sweet.
01:11:54So let's go grab some food.
01:11:56Wanna go?
01:11:57No.
01:11:59I think I should finish up here.
01:12:02Did you ever find that guy you were looking for?
01:12:04No.
01:12:06I don't know.
01:12:07For some reason I just realized he needs to be my first.
01:12:12Or something.
01:12:13Why, do you know him?
01:12:15Sort of.
01:12:16Oh.
01:12:17Well, hey, if you happen to run into him, just tell him I'd like to see him again.
01:12:29Love him?
01:12:29Shut it.
01:12:30I don't wanna hear it from you.
01:12:31You wanna get married?
01:12:32You wanna do it?
01:12:33All right, all right, all right.
01:12:46You wanna do it?
01:12:47You wanna do it?
01:13:03No.
01:13:05No.
01:13:06No way.
01:13:07No.
01:13:08No way.
01:13:09No way.
01:13:13No way.
01:13:14No way.
01:13:23Oh, well, there's always next year.
01:13:48It's you.
01:13:51I've been waiting for you, JJ.
01:13:57Joanna.
01:14:43I've been waiting for you.
01:15:07I've been waiting for you.
01:15:12I guess something inspired me.
01:15:15You really captured his expression and his eyes.
01:15:19Yeah, even that little callic he has in his hair.
01:15:25Who's?
01:15:26Eric's.
01:15:27That's him, right?
01:15:31Oh.
01:15:33Yeah.
01:15:35I have to go see him.
01:15:42Well, I think you know what we should do.
01:15:54One-nine-hundred confess.
01:15:58Sister Therese?
01:16:00Yeah, hon.
01:16:02There was a problem with your credit card.
01:16:04I just need the last three numbers in the back.
01:16:07Oh, sure.
01:16:10It's 271.
01:16:12Sister, I know this isn't a confession, but can I ask your opinion on something?
01:16:17Do you think if you do something bad that God will forgive you, take you back?
01:16:24Sure, hon.
01:16:25Why not?
01:16:26As long as you're on the right path.
01:16:30Well, how do you know if you're on that path?
01:16:32I always look for some kind of sign from the universe.
01:16:37Something to let me know that it's all going to be okay.
01:16:41Sister?
01:16:43Can I get up now?
01:16:45I really gotta pee.
01:16:47No!
01:16:47Hush your trap!
01:16:50Okay, honey.
01:16:51I really need to get back to work, but call back any time.
01:16:55I will.
01:16:57Thanks.
01:17:01Sister?
01:17:02Shut up, or I'll punish you hard, you sheep fucker!
01:17:21Eric, wait!
01:17:26Cheryl?
01:17:29Eric, um...
01:17:32Look, I am so sorry about everything.
01:17:35I was trying to have revenge sex with you.
01:17:38At the beginning, but then at the end I wasn't.
01:17:42I just didn't want to do that with you.
01:17:45The revenge part, not the sex part.
01:17:49Um...
01:17:50I...
01:17:50I do want to go out with you.
01:17:54And I didn't realize that until this morning.
01:17:58I mean, you're a completely different guy than Jake is,
01:18:01and he's all over these...
01:18:02Eric!
01:18:04Come on, I gotta get going.
01:18:06Oh.
01:18:08Wow.
01:18:08Um, Cheryl, this is my sister Tina.
01:18:12Tina, Cheryl.
01:18:14Hi!
01:18:15Nice to meet you.
01:18:20Um...
01:18:21So, um...
01:18:22Do you mind if I call you in a few days?
01:18:25When I get back?
01:18:26Yeah, sure.
01:18:28Sure.
01:18:34Oh.
01:18:35Sorry.
01:18:36No kissing, right?
01:18:37No, kissing.
01:18:38Oh.
01:18:39Mmm.
01:18:56Yeah, did you ever, uh, get those flowers I sent you?
01:19:02I don't even care that you hooked up a plexi.
01:19:05Wait, what?
01:19:06I never did that.
01:19:08I mean, you don't have to lie about it.
01:19:10She told me all about your pierced tongue.
01:19:18She must have me mixed up with someone else.
01:19:21I wonder who it was.
01:19:44At least this birthday's over.
01:19:58Dear Lord, please forgive me.
01:20:02I mean, if you could just...
01:20:04I don't know, like, send me a sign?
01:20:06I mean...
01:20:08I mean...
01:20:09I...
01:20:19I...
01:20:25What?
01:20:26I don't know.
01:20:26I mean, if you don't know...
01:20:27If you killed him...
01:20:28I was real.
01:20:29You killed him.
01:20:30I wasn't worried about it.
01:20:30But if you killed him too big,
01:20:34I was up covering this one for us.
01:20:34So good, sleeveliam...
01:20:36it wasn't going to be weird,
01:20:40Excuse me! Excuse me! Do you know where the church is? It's on Fountain Street.
01:20:47Yeah, that's the church I go to. Or used to go to. It's straight up that way and then left.
01:20:54Thank you. You're more than welcome to come with me if you like.
01:21:00Oh, well, I don't know.
01:21:09Well, that's pretty powerful.
01:21:13Oh, 250 horsepower, 225 pounds of torque. Like I said, you're more than welcome to hop on.
01:21:23I don't think so. But thanks.
01:21:26What's your name? Sue. What's yours?
01:21:30Jesus.
01:21:32Really?
01:21:33Si.
01:21:37Maybe I could use the ride.
01:21:38We will see.
01:21:40Let's go of one car.
01:21:50Let's go of one car.
01:21:53Let's do that.
01:21:55Ah!
01:21:56Oh!
01:22:54Music by Ben Thede
01:23:24Music by Ben Thede
01:23:38Music by Ben Thede