- 2 hours ago
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00:02It's you!
00:03Why not roll out an entire campaign with the both of you?
00:07It's better than the plan!
00:09It is real, it is raw, it is clickable.
00:11When I was married, I had an affair with the neighbor next door.
00:15What was that?
00:17The high life is me translating dirty talk
00:20for some horny Spanish wunderkind.
00:22I'm going to break my face between your ears.
00:24Clearly a slice of sadness to this wedding.
00:27Her and Abe are absolutely perfect together.
00:30You wouldn't believe it.
00:31Then why is she crying?
00:32I miss you. I thought about you all the time.
00:35You're not good for me.
00:36And because of that, I think it's probably best
00:38that we just see each other around.
00:40And you know I'll do anything to make you happy.
00:43I need you to sell the house.
00:44I don't think I can do that.
00:48Let's talk wedding venues.
00:51I thought we agreed on the hotel in Dorset.
00:53Ah, yes.
00:54So, turns out it was already booked
00:57by our hashtag sick bride in cancer remission.
01:01Understandably, it was a light pencil.
01:03How do we feel about castles?
01:06There's one here with a functioning moat
01:08and a Red Bull sponsorship.
01:10Does it have a lift?
01:12Mmm.
01:13We will look into that.
01:14Yes.
01:15Yeah.
01:15Okay, moving on.
01:18Hendoo!
01:19We're thinking immersive, live-streamed,
01:23head-mounted GoPro.
01:25You bring the viewer with you.
01:28But isn't it a spa day?
01:29I mean, massages, robes, bit of tequila.
01:33We are three months away from the wedding.
01:35We need to ramp it up.
01:37And put ramps everywhere for you.
01:40So, our goal is to break one mill by the end of the honeymoon.
01:44We're in the room right next door, aren't we, Olivia?
01:46Yes.
01:47Yes.
01:48That's good.
01:48Now, do you mind if I take a quick boomerang
01:51of you having one of these lovely vickies?
01:58That's brilliant.
02:10Oh, good.
02:11A hard launch for toast.
02:14Maybe you should tag the eggs.
02:16Well, I'm just keeping up with the brief, but, uh, message received.
02:21No, no, let's commit.
02:22Give the people what they really want.
02:25Gritty, disabled realism.
02:27Huh?
02:28Okay.
02:29No, no, no.
02:29Poster reel of you and Ty deadlifting me into the shower.
02:32Yeah.
02:33Or a house tour.
02:35Yeah?
02:36Here's where I can't reach anything.
02:38Here's the ramp that wants me dead.
02:41Here's upstairs.
02:42Oh, I've never been.
02:45I hear you.
02:47You could have an entire third family up there, and I wouldn't even know it.
02:53I'm going to talk to Jane about further renovations.
02:57Okay?
03:00I'm sorry.
03:02I love you.
03:06Yes, obviously.
03:07Yes.
03:09Renewal.
03:10Resurgence.
03:11Rebirth.
03:12Like a caterpillar from a cocoon.
03:14Except it's not a cocoon.
03:16It's a womb.
03:17Your womb.
03:19You are emerging from yourself.
03:24Yeah, well, I can cut you some handslets, but only if you feel ready to receive them.
03:31Right, and this is definitely the fabric.
03:34It does look a little like she's been excreted.
03:38Well, technically, it's a transitional membrane designed for hibernate and zoo snakes, but yes.
03:43Hmm.
03:44And, um, how does she go backwards in this thing?
03:48Is it a series of three-point turns, or why would anyone want to go backwards in this life?
03:54Hmm.
03:54Bean, it really is so creative.
03:57I just don't know if it's giving me, um, wedding dress.
04:02You hate it.
04:04Oh.
04:06That means it's working.
04:07Are you scared of the dress's disruptive potential, or your own?
04:12Ooh.
04:15Hmm.
04:16I'm sorry.
04:17I-I-I just...
04:18I just don't know if it's THE dress.
04:22It's not THE dress.
04:25Because there is no dress.
04:28There is just evolution.
04:30Transition and expansion.
04:33Gestation and expulsion.
04:36That is marriage.
04:40Mm.
04:41Mm.
04:42Mm.
04:44Mm.
04:51Yes.
04:52Mm.
04:54Yeah.
04:54I think it's some of my finest work.
05:11What did he say?
05:17Uh, he said that he wants to feel your wet bikini bottoms, but, like, not wet from the pool.
05:22What?
05:23Uh, yeah, no, it's... they're convoluted.
05:26Alright, well, tell him he needs to make them wet, then.
05:28Tienes que esforzarte más.
05:29Más?
05:30Más.
05:30SÃ.
05:35Te voy a subir a mi habitación.
05:36Y vas a bailar desnuda en mi boca.
05:42What did he say?
05:45Uh, sorry, uh, that he wants you to stand on his face or something.
05:50Tienes que, uh, se que, uh, stand on his face or something.
05:52Tienes que, uh, I'll tell him I'll dominate him all night long and I won't stop until he begs me.
05:55Ah.
05:56Ah.
05:58Yo, yo, ¿qué?
06:00Uh, eh, dice que le gusta el pegging.
06:05El pegging?
06:06Pegging.
06:06No, no, el, no, el, a ver, como que el pegging, espera, no.
06:09Qué bueno.
06:10Pero yo te necesito aquà conmigo, como que el pegging, que a mà no es...
06:13Listen, you're fine. Just ask Alexa.
06:21I'll get it!
06:26No means no, Jo.
06:27I'm here for Freya.
06:30Pen stuff.
06:41Actually, do you have a minute?
06:44Can we talk, like privately? Like in your room?
06:49No, no, no. Better with witnesses. Less chance of an emotional drive-by.
06:53Is that my shirt?
06:55No, this is just a common men's shirt. From shirts.com.
07:00Fine.
07:01I'll be out of your hair soon anyway.
07:03I'm moving to New York.
07:07Yeah, a couple of months ago, whilst I was drunk and on antibiotics,
07:12I supposedly applied for this writing program in New York,
07:16and I got in, and yeah, it's kind of legit.
07:24Yeah, you know, there's not much keeping me here,
07:26so maybe it's time for a change.
07:31Well, thank you for the big press release, and now, if you don't mind,
07:34I'm actually preparing for a job interview.
07:43Good luck telling Freya that you're abandoning her again.
07:51Jo, the lips are almost here. Hey, you party ready?
07:59Here we are, ladies.
08:01This is it.
08:04Oh, reveal.
08:06Perfect for post-game dippy-dees, ladies.
08:08I am into this deranged gingerbread house.
08:12Woo!
08:14Love this.
08:15Love the gargoyles.
08:17I know.
08:18Very Snow White sheep.
08:22Oh.
08:37Who are these people?
08:39These are your hens!
08:41It's a small passport of our amazing clients.
08:45Of course.
08:47Yeah.
08:47Are we supposed to be wearing those?
08:49Yes, we are, darling.
08:51Mm-hmm.
08:52Bought them from Vinted.
08:54Thought it'd be gay to wear them.
08:55Gay as in fun.
08:57We're bringing it back.
08:58Is that blood?
09:00Yes.
09:01Yes, it is.
09:04Oh.
09:08It's a little early to be drinking, isn't it?
09:12Why are they here?
09:13Please get them out of my house.
09:16Ah, you see, in my defence, it is our house
09:19and I would like to store my books in my section of our attic.
09:23Okay?
09:25Alright.
09:26I'm just sorry they're not selling.
09:28Oh, they are selling.
09:29They're flying off the shelves.
09:30They're talking about doing a second print run
09:32with all the five-star reviews
09:33and a sex-positive foreword by Gillian Anderson.
09:36Happy you're getting the recognition you deserve.
09:41I'm just sampling wines for the wedding.
09:43Uh-huh.
09:43Listen, I genuinely had no idea
09:46you were going to take this that badly.
09:48I'm not taking anything.
09:49I'm taking it like an absolute stud.
09:51Are you?
09:52Yeah.
09:53I was just drafting my own memoir in my head.
09:55I think I'm going to call it,
09:56Why the flying fuck didn't I divorce her sooner?
10:00Or something.
10:02Guaranteed bestseller.
10:04And we are live, girlies!
10:07And we have 23 brave beautiful views already.
10:10Oh!
10:11Yes!
10:11Well, let's crack on with the games, I reckon.
10:15Yeah.
10:15These hens are not free range.
10:17They're on hourly rates.
10:18What?
10:19Wait, they're being paid to be here?
10:21As PA of Honour, a.k.a. Party Architect,
10:26I'd like to introduce our very first game.
10:29It's called Mr. and Mrs.
10:32And it is the ultimate compatibility quiz.
10:35All right?
10:36Joe, would you like to do the honours?
10:37Yes.
10:39Okay.
10:40Um...
10:41Who is Abe's celebrity crush?
10:43Ooh!
10:44Um...
10:45Emily Blunt?
10:47Emily Blunt.
10:48Ooh, yeah.
10:49Shall we find out?
10:50Yeah.
10:51Hello, ladies.
10:52Right.
10:53Celebrity crush.
10:54I'm going to say...
10:57It's Nigella Lawson.
10:59Um...
10:59Especially The Christmas Special
11:01where she basted that turkey that was...
11:04...hypnotic.
11:05Ooh!
11:06That was wrong, Freya.
11:07So, actually, you know what you need to do?
11:10Chup, chup, chup, chup, chup, chup.
11:10You need to have one of you.
11:12Chup, chup, chup, chup, chup.
11:15Who said, I love you first?
11:17Oh, okay, that one's easy.
11:19Yeah.
11:19Him.
11:20100%.
11:20Oh, it was...
11:22magical.
11:24Couldn't stop looking at her.
11:25And then she said those three little words.
11:28I love you.
11:30It's another wrong answer, Freya, so, er...
11:34Buckle up!
11:36Do you even know this story?
11:39I mean, it's really not fair.
11:44Have you even read my book?
11:46Oh, have you written a book?
11:47Because in the end, if you get to the last chapter,
11:50I say I actually really loved our marriage.
11:53So much talk of marriage.
11:55Can't stop writing about it, can't stop talking about it.
11:57It's all a little bit jealous.
11:58Fuck off! Fuck right!
12:00You couldn't pay me to be in a committed relationship right now.
12:03There's just so much compromise, isn't there?
12:04I mean, look at you!
12:05Who even are you?
12:07You hate Rosé.
12:08Turns out it just has to be good Rosé.
12:10Don't believe you.
12:12If you're going to be this...
12:12Right, right, right.
12:13OK.
12:14What is going on?
12:15Hi.
12:16All of this yelling while I'm trying to have a wank
12:17is giving me weird childhood flashbacks, all right?
12:20So I'm going to need you to tone it down
12:21if I'm going to stand any chance of getting anything done up there.
12:24Sorry?
12:25Hmm, that is quite good actually.
12:27I know, right?
12:28Wait, sorry, why are you day drinking?
12:30Because your father is trying to squeeze himself
12:34into this new life, one drink at a time.
12:37OK, well, that's weird.
12:39Don't make a habit out of it, either of you.
12:41If you are going to do another lap around the marital track...
12:45Marriage again?
12:46Might I give you some notes?
12:47Oh, OK, this is actually far more interesting than the porn I was watching,
12:50so I'm going to grab a pew.
12:53This time maybe don't cry quite so much during the vows.
12:57I mean, it's not that it wasn't tremendously touching, it was,
12:59but people really just...
13:02want to go for a piss and have a glass of Prosecco.
13:04Really don't need wedding day notes.
13:07Especially not from the woman who insisted on choreographing
13:10our ridiculous first dance.
13:12Ridiculous?
13:15OK.
13:16Oh, remember?
13:17Ooh, actual post-traumatic dance disorder.
13:20This is before anyone else did it, right?
13:23Sure.
13:24Because you're getting...
13:25Well...
13:26Mum's already going.
13:27Feeling limber, Dad?
13:32OK.
13:36So this was professionally choreographed, was it?
13:41OK.
13:43You keep saying OK.
13:45Yeah.
13:46Oh, I'm round.
13:50One, two...
13:51Whoa!
13:52Whoa!
13:53You always used to trip me there!
13:54You on every single time!
13:57This is nice, isn't it?
13:58Look at you.
13:59It's almost like Lindsay Lohan was right to pair and trap hers back together.
14:01Back together.
14:03Sorry, have you not read my chapter on bonobos?
14:04Yeah, I'm waiting for the audiobook.
14:06No, I think we're both perfectly happy with where we are now.
14:09Absolutely.
14:11Really?
14:12You're OK that Sam's death, you know, broke things between you?
14:22Well, I think it's a little bit more complex than that.
14:26But, er...
14:28Yeah, sometimes life throws more storm at you than you're prepared for.
14:32Well, I think we wish we'd weathered it differently.
14:35But...
14:36We accept the wreckage.
14:37I mean...
14:38It has a kind of charm.
14:41Well...
14:42Bug.
14:47If you learn anything from us, don't let life's mess get in the way of what really matters.
14:55Yeah, you've got to embrace the mess.
14:59Actually, um...
15:00Did I say that I had to...
15:02That there was, um...
15:03I had to...
15:04Bye!
15:08One more time?
15:10Fuck no.
15:10Tell us about losing your V-card.
15:16Why don't we take a little quick break?
15:19Like some...
15:19A little sig or...
15:21Come on, at least tell us the age.
15:22We've got hundreds of followers now.
15:24They want deets.
15:25They want positions.
15:27Oh, yes!
15:28So, you don't have to.
15:29Cherry bum!
15:31Cherry bum!
15:32Cherry bum!
15:34Cherry bum!
15:35Cherry bum!
15:37Cherry bum!
15:37Cherry bum!
15:38Mine, sure!
15:39Yeah!
15:39Woo-hoo!
15:40It was just before my 16th birthday.
15:43I was ridiculously in love.
15:45Oh!
15:46Everyone thought we were going to be together forever.
15:50Um...
15:50And then I had my accident.
15:53And became tetraplegic.
15:55And then I went into rehab.
15:58Um...
15:58For a year.
15:59To relearn everything that I knew about my body and the world.
16:04And then, um, one night...
16:06He snuck into rehab and we had sex.
16:13It wasn't really the first time I imagined.
16:16Um...
16:17But we were in love.
16:20And then he never called me again.
16:26Ahem.
16:29Ahem.
16:30Ahem.
16:31Ahem.
16:326pm already?
16:33Oh!
16:33Well, ah, put your hands together for...
16:38RIPDESA!
16:39Ah!
16:40Ah!
16:42Ah!
16:43Ah!
16:46Ah!
16:48Ah!
16:49Ah!
16:50Ah!
16:51Ah!
16:51Ah!
16:51Ah!
16:51Ah!
16:54Ah!
16:59Ah!
17:01Ah!
17:02Ah!
17:04Ah!
17:06Ah!
17:08Ah!
17:10Ah!
17:12Ah!
17:13Ah!
17:16Ah!
17:16Oh, my God.
17:20Oh, my God.
17:21Oh, my God.
17:25Oh, my God.
17:28Oh, my God.
17:30Oh, my God.
17:34You want to add him on social.
17:36How extraordinary.
17:38That's fine.
17:38I'm haunting.
17:40I'm hot.
17:42Fucking door.
17:43Shh.
17:45Jesus Christ.
17:46You crazy?
17:47Yes, crazy is my brand.
17:49Come on.
17:49You can't be here.
17:50Don't go to New York.
18:07Stop.
18:08Stop.
18:09Stop it.
18:11Sorry, Krypties Dan.
18:12Full respect.
18:13I can't do this.
18:14I'm tired of being scheduled and sponsored and streamed.
18:19I've had enough.
18:21You know, and I can't ignore the fact that I'm completely incompatible with my fiancee.
18:25You know what I want to do?
18:26Yeah, I want to go swimming.
18:28Yeah, but I can't because I'm terrified of fucking water since I became disabled.
18:34Is that the content you want?
18:37Huh?
18:37Because this whole hairdo and sponsored wedding is so fucking late.
18:43Oh, no.
18:45What?
18:45Okay, I'm confused.
18:47I want to do it all with you.
18:49Especially the mess.
18:51Mess?
18:52Okay, now I'm getting mixed signals.
18:54I was like, fuck, um...
18:56Joe, are you there?
18:57Joe!
18:59Joe, I need to talk to you.
19:01This is definitely the best one.
19:04Oh.
19:04Jane.
19:05Fuck.
19:06Maybe it was that one.
19:07Jane.
19:09What?
19:09I'm ready to sell the house.
19:14Oh.
19:17Oh, wow.
19:19Okay.
19:22And I want to say sorry for holding on.
19:28I think I just needed to, you know, let go in stages.
19:38Yeah, I mean, it's funny.
19:39I mean, I've been waiting for this moment for years,
19:41but now it's actually here, I feel a bit.
19:55We will always be family.
20:00Do you want me to go?
20:01Yeah, I'm sorry.
20:03You know, and I really, honestly,
20:08couldn't be more happy for you than Freya.
20:10I know.
20:14To the future.
20:16To my sequel, ballsack.
20:19I need to pee, and I need to say this.
20:22I think maybe actually I've just been scared that I wouldn't find anyone else,
20:25which is essentially internalised ableism, right?
20:27And probably not the best reason to be getting married.
20:29Maybe we should talk somewhere else.
20:31I hate how everyone acts.
20:33Like, I'm so lucky to have him, you know?
20:36Like, it's infantilising.
20:38I don't need to be taken care of.
20:40Right? I want to fuck in Paris.
20:43Freya, Freya, as your PA of honour,
20:45I've watched you and Abe very closely, and that's love, man.
20:52Also, if you ever need a sorry guy, I do sincerely hope it's me.
20:56Oh, too far, Ty.
20:57Fair enough.
21:01My God.
21:02I need to talk to Abe.
21:03Yeah, I have to tell him to come here.
21:05What, here?
21:06Now?
21:06Yeah, here.
21:07Now.
21:12The condom company.
21:13Yeah?
21:13Pulled out.
21:14For God's sake.
21:14Well, of course they were going to pull out.
21:16Well, not like that, but do you know what I mean?
21:17Well, I think I'm going to have a panic attack.
21:19Absolute nightmare.
21:19Oh, Olivia. Olivia.
21:22I think I've finally found my voice.
21:24Well, no, you're not finding your voice, darling,
21:26because our sponsors have pulled out, haven't they?
21:29In your impassioned speech...
21:31But I was just being honest.
21:33Mm-hmm.
21:33You called the entire sponsored wedding lame.
21:37Lame.
21:37On camera.
21:38The online disabled community, they are currently dragging you.
21:42Yeah.
21:43For being grossly ableist.
21:44You're trending in a bad way.
21:47They're dragging your ass.
21:48You're cancelled.
21:49Rip.
21:50R.I.P.
21:51She means.
21:52Fuck, I never say that.
21:54I never say that.
21:55Well, you did say it, didn't you?
21:56You did.
21:56You did.
21:56You said it, didn't you?
21:57Yeah.
21:58So, we have to send a big fat apology.
22:00Yeah.
22:00We've got to live stream it.
22:02Yeah.
22:02A big donation.
22:04Children in need, we're thinking.
22:06Patsy bear.
22:06Might work.
22:07Yeah.
22:08Suck on that.
22:08You're going to need it.
22:09Okay.
22:10Levi?
22:10Gosh, these women only identifying spaces are incredible.
22:13I mean, they're...
22:14Levi!
22:15Sorry, sorry.
22:15I love you too.
22:20Um, I feel like maybe we're not good for each other.
22:23Maybe we're, maybe we're too fucked up.
22:26Yes, maybe.
22:28But also, maybe, what if we are the type of fucked up that fits?
22:35Because, every time I'm with you, I feel a little bit less broken.
22:40And I also feel consistently turned on.
22:47I'm just trying to get my life together.
22:49And I need someone that you can rely on.
22:54Yeah, exactly.
22:55Me too.
22:57We both need each other.
22:59So, uh, why don't you just for once, please, please just stay?
23:23I just see Ty straddling a half-naked man using a wheelchair.
23:28I thought this was a spa day.
23:34Abe, I need to say something and I just need you to listen, okay?
23:38Okay.
23:39We lost the sponsorship.
23:41I accidentally said the L word on the live stream.
23:44What?
23:45Lesbian?
23:46Not quite, um, but the Olivias think that they can fix it.
23:50Okay, good.
23:52I just don't know if I do want to fix it, Abe.
23:56I'm so tired of saying yes to everything, to...
24:04That I have to be grateful for every single opportunity just because I'm a wheelchair user.
24:09I want to fucking Paris with you.
24:13Okay.
24:15Unexpected turn.
24:17Not unwelcome.
24:18But I think maybe this wedding is just happening too fast.
24:24I'm more than happy to postpone it.
24:27Certainly happy to lose the sponsorship, you know.
24:32I just want to marry you.
24:34Properly.
24:38Told Jane I was ready to sell the house.
24:41But really.
24:43Yeah.
24:46Thought we could find ourselves a nice little new build.
24:51You know, fully accessible.
24:53You wouldn't have to worry about anything.
24:58I just want to take care of you.
25:06But I don't want that.
25:11Actually, I think, um, maybe I just need a bit of time.
25:18Yeah.
25:18Well, we'll postpone.
25:22Time from us.
25:23Time from us.
25:28Sorry, that's not what I was expecting to say.
25:33I love you.
25:34I love you.
25:35I love you so much.
25:36It's just been a really weird time and, uh, I don't know.
25:41It's okay.
25:41It's okay.
25:41It's okay.
25:43I'm sorry.
25:47I'm so...
25:48I'll take your time.
25:51Are you okay?
26:04Freya?
26:06Freya!
26:07Hey!
26:10Hey!
26:11There you are.
26:14You okay?
26:18I think I just broke up with Abe.
26:23Shit.
26:26I'm so sorry.
26:27How did he take it?
26:31Mature and lovingly, which made it even worse.
26:36I'm so sorry.
26:38Hey, listen.
26:40I'm here.
26:42Don't worry.
26:43We got this.
26:45Together.
26:48Please.
26:49I never needed you.
26:51Gross.
26:53Not even a little.
26:55Good.
26:57I definitely don't need you.
27:06Can I get your help with something?
27:10Yeah.
27:13It's European air.
27:16I swear it does.
27:19Randomly, I'm grateful for, grateful for all the night.
27:27Solemn night walker, concrete over water.
27:37I think you remind me of the night, but also of the day.
27:47I think of Italy, Chappelle.
27:52history, I think ofarnya.geh
28:01frescoe. I
28:03think I'm perlu who ce söyle. We'll
28:05be on time. During the
28:17next time. I can't
28:17happen. Tantalik
28:19singading. I think of
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