00:03hello oh my god someone called campus security the library lost its mascot oh my god there she
00:10is my little nerd all grown up out in the wild when did that happen like I would ever miss
00:15the
00:15annual Thompson Carter family retreat I'm not your brother hands off buddy hi Alex speak of
00:24the devil if it isn't Knox Carter the NFL sluttiest quarterback what are you doing here thought you
00:32were too rich and famous for us now hot shot NFL sluttiest quarterback kind of liking that one
00:36uh if you don't like the house my name bought you're welcome to leave yeah yeah your name might
00:42have bought this house but it's my name she's yelling in the stands uh you want to bet
00:54boys let your sister breathe she is not our sister sister god sister tomato tomato either way I'm the
01:02only one that gets to suffocate her miss you Judy now let me get a good look at my god
01:08daughter
01:09damn girl when did you get hot I mean you have always been gorgeous but come on now
01:19ah we're more like your mother every day I swear but you have a better ass that's for sure she
01:25made flat as a pancake now boys just because she has a great ass does not mean you get to
01:30hit on
01:30your god sister they weren't oh please they're animals I blame their father we can literally hear
01:36you good all right now be gentlemen and carry her bags to her room so no funny business leave the
01:43heavy lifting to me bro oh my god I know you have a weak shoulder ah weak my ass
01:55I am so glad there's another vagina in this house
02:01feels like nothing looks like everything
02:09the vibe is unstoppable the essence of effortlessness is underwear the essence of underwear is me
02:27under me under you
02:33under where lower for him oh my god okay let's oh my god okay you're telling me you are spending
02:42the
02:42next week under the same roof as the hottest quarterback and tight end in NFL history and
02:47you're not fucking them what are you think us it's not like that okay first of all our moms
02:52were like best friends we grew up together okay they're like my brothers yeah and by that you mean
02:56like group bath time oh second of all Knox he is a total dick as soon as he got famous
03:05he
03:05basically ditched us to just go be a total man or I'm pretty sure he's fucked every single one of
03:09his team's cheerleaders and Wes is yeah he's a total sweetheart he's always there for me he's always
03:19making me laugh he's always cheering me on but but we're just friends be so for real you have never
03:27ever not even once fantasized about letting one of those beef cakes into your end zone
03:35oh no oh I knew it I knew which one which one the slut or the sweetheart
03:42both Alex Thompson you dirty girl
03:46okay I may have had a crush on them back in high school but it was forever ago I'm older
03:52and wiser
03:53now which brings me to my third of all I have a boyfriend
03:55uh how could I forget drew the douchebag oh come on he is not a
04:05douchebag
04:09Drew
04:11baby what are you I thought you said that you were on your family retreat thing like out of town
04:17more like at a house 20 minutes away dumbass you're cheating on me drew are you fucking kidding me
04:22cheating you told me you were single a douchebag I'm so sorry baby baby it's not it's not what it
04:31looks like okay she came on to me and and I was just I was lonely okay I was missing
04:36you and you're
04:38always so busy with school and I told you I have needs if you just paid a little more attention
04:44to me I
04:44never fuck that enough attention for you we're done I have a brand deal tomorrow you know that
04:56you and me we're getting drunk
04:58come on finally
05:11there's a little nerd hi and she's blitzed I did not know you drank missy
05:20I can't get my shoe off. Help.
05:22Okay, okay.
05:24Come on. Here, here, here.
05:29Oh, my God.
05:32Let's pull it right there.
05:34All right.
05:40So much better.
05:43Freedom!
05:45Hey, what's this? You're bleeding.
05:47Oh, I'm...
05:48It's not my blood.
05:50Whose blood is it? Did you punch someone?
05:54My boyfriend.
05:56Drew, ex-boyfriend.
05:58Drew the douchebag.
06:00You punched Drew.
06:01I punched Drew.
06:02What?
06:04Okay.
06:07Good catch.
06:10It's all good.
06:12You smell like booze.
06:19Okay.
06:22Must have really got him.
06:28There we go.
06:29Might be a little sting.
06:34Ow!
06:36Bad doctor.
06:37Hey.
06:37You are a little fighter tonight.
06:39Mm-hmm.
06:40Mm-hmm.
06:41Mm-hmm.
06:41Mm-hmm.
06:44I gave it.
06:45Mm-hmm.
06:46Mm-hmm.
06:48Mm-hmm.
06:48I gave it.
06:51I...
06:51Didn't take you as the brawler type.
06:54Didn't know you had it in yet.
06:56Oh, yeah?
06:57You want to see?
06:58Oh.
06:59Careful now.
07:00Yeah.
07:00Want a piece?
07:01Maybe.
07:02Mm-hmm.
07:02Oh!
07:03Oh!
07:03Oh!
07:04Okay.
07:04Okay.
07:05You win.
07:05You win.
07:06I surrender.
07:15What the hell?
07:16Um, Alex hurt her.
07:19You're hurt?
07:20What happened?
07:21Who did this?
07:24Like, you care?
07:26Alex.
07:28My boyfriend cheated on me, okay?
07:31So I punched him.
07:35I told you that guy was a piece of shit.
07:37Oh, my God.
07:38I'm going to fucking kill him.
07:39I'm going to fucking kill him.
07:39Hello.
07:40I already told you.
07:41I took care of it.
07:42Because I'm a grown-ass woman who can fight her own fights, okay?
07:45So you can take your alpha, overprotective, male bullshit, okay?
07:49And just shove it.
07:53Okay.
07:57Getting a little handsy there, bro.
08:00What?
08:01Nocta, you see?
08:01You don't have to do this.
08:03I mean, it's defending her honor thing.
08:05She doesn't need you playing doctor, either.
08:08Leave her alone.
08:09I'm okay.
08:35Looking for these?
08:38Yes.
08:42How'd you get home last night?
08:45An Uber.
08:47Next time, you call me.
08:49Understand?
08:50I'll come get you.
08:53Anytime, day or night.
08:55You're going to punt some bimbo out of your band to come babysit?
08:59I'm very flattered.
09:05Anytime, day or night.
09:11I can take care of myself.
09:21My jersey looks good on you.
09:24Maybe it's Wes's.
09:26No, it's mine.
09:32You wear this to sleep, huh?
09:35Thinking about me in bed?
09:38No.
09:39Of course not.
09:41Liar.
09:44Go on.
09:46Take your medicine.
09:47Listen.
09:58Open.
10:12Swallow.
10:14Swallow.
10:24Good girl.
10:29Are you going to kiss me?
10:33Of course not.
10:37Why?
10:39Do you want me to?
10:40Yeah.
11:05I know, yeah, you didn't get this.
11:06Young man, there is a lady present?
11:09Come on.
11:12Couldn't you wait until after dinner?
11:14I like cookies during dinner.
11:16You never?
11:16I'll have more after dinner, too.
11:18Always does.
11:19There you go.
11:21Alex, I didn't notice that earlier.
11:22What happened to your hand?
11:23Oh.
11:25You know me.
11:26The brawler.
11:28No, it's just, um, when I broke things off with Drew, I might have done so a little forcefully.
11:33Fuck him.
11:35I told you when you started dating, that guy was a piece of shit.
11:38A manipulative, gaslighting...
11:40Hey, hey, you take it easy?
11:42All right, we're at dinner.
11:44Disloyal piece of shit.
11:45You know, if you would have listened to me when this all started, we would have never been in this
11:48position.
11:49I'm so sick of this hot and cold bullshit.
11:52So you totally ghost, don't text for months, and now you want to micromanage me?
11:55What, I can never date anyone without your approval?
11:57That's what you're saying?
11:58No, that's not what I'm saying.
12:01Look, all I'm saying is, you deserve someone who's going to show up for you.
12:06Someone who's going to be there when shit gets hard.
12:09And you know all about showing up, hmm?
12:11You missed the last three Thanksgivings because of fucking brand of us.
12:14Mm-hmm.
12:15I'm not talking about me.
12:17What?
12:20All I'm saying is, you deserve better, Alex.
12:25Amen to that.
12:28I think that we need to celebrate the fact that you are finally free.
12:32So, come on, guys.
12:34Oh.
12:35Alex is free.
12:36She's free.
12:37Mm-hmm.
12:38Cheers.
12:38Cheers.
12:39Cheers.
12:39Woo!
12:41Fact, I think that you guys should take her out tonight.
12:44Huh?
12:44Be her wingman.
12:46You can help her score a little touchdown.
12:51I'm, I'm, I, I can't.
12:53I, I have a day.
12:56Of course you do.
12:57Of course you do.
12:59All right.
12:59You and I can go have some fun while this one gets his dick wet.
13:02How about that?
13:03Ah.
13:04Language, young man.
13:05There is a lady present.
13:07Much sincerest apologies, m'lady.
13:09Hmm.
13:09Deepest apologies.
13:11We'll have fun tonight.
13:13Leaving these two at home.
13:16All right, young lady.
13:17Shirley Temple, huh?
13:19All right.
13:19So things are getting pretty crazy tonight.
13:21Yeah, well, you know, last time I got drunk, I bit off a little more than I could chew.
13:26That you did.
13:27That you did.
13:27Which, I did not mind taking care of you.
13:33Anyway, I'm sorry about earlier with Knox.
13:36God, I know he can ride you pretty hard.
13:39He definitely needs to find a better use of words.
13:41But, he's right.
13:43Alex, God, you, you deserve so much better than that guy.
13:49And, speaking of deserving better, I, uh, I don't know.
13:56I, I, I have not stopped thinking about that night with you and me in the kitchen.
14:04So, I don't know, I was just wondering if...
14:06What the fuck?
14:07Alex?
14:10Why are you always here?
14:11Who the fuck is this?
14:13Wait.
14:14Shit, you're Knox Carter's brother, right?
14:16The tight end?
14:17No, he's...
14:18Wes.
14:19Carter.
14:19Her boyfriend.
14:22Seriously?
14:24Wow.
14:25Didn't waste any time, did you?
14:27At least I waited until after we broke up.
14:29Okay, fuck off, Drew.
14:30You heard the lady.
14:32Fuck off, Drew.
14:35You know what?
14:36She's all yours.
14:41But a little heads up.
14:44She's nothing but a cock tease.
14:46Yeah.
14:47So, I wouldn't waste any time on her.
14:49Fuck!
Comments