- 20 minutes ago
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
01:00Oh, Bobby, how did we miss that?
01:02Where did that happen?
01:03He's such a slight fellow, I thought there was no chance.
01:06And when I shot up into the air, I had to laugh.
01:10Bob, that's a yellow card.
01:11I'm a bit sad about it, but, yeah.
01:14Did you ask for permission?
01:15Yeah.
01:15He got full consent.
01:16Campbell is coming out on the attack.
01:18He's a shark.
01:19OK.
01:20OK, I'm restarting the game.
01:22Oh, God.
01:24Jaws.
01:26So we're underway.
01:28Sam picks up Bob, and Bob picks up the first yellow card.
01:32Now we've got a game.
01:34That's some gameplay.
01:35I think Sam Campbell is the man to beat.
01:37Let's restart the game.
01:44Can I lift you up, Sam?
01:46No.
01:47I'm all good.
01:48Thanks, man.
01:54Get involved, everyone.
01:56That was a bit of Nick.
01:57What's your favourite food?
01:59Of all time?
02:00Ever?
02:00Yeah.
02:01Can I be honest?
02:02Yeah.
02:02Easter egg.
02:04Do you think the chocolate's got worse?
02:06It's not as nice as it was.
02:07Definitely worse.
02:08I think it's better than ever.
02:09Amy, you're telling me you're on death row.
02:11Yeah.
02:11They go, you've got one meal.
02:12Yeah.
02:13You go, can I get an Easter egg?
02:15Yeah, big as you can.
02:17I love scallops.
02:19Scallops?
02:20Yeah, and then someone told me they were mermaid's clit.
02:25What's clitty about them?
02:26It's the texture.
02:27There's a flap on each side.
02:29Also very difficult to find.
02:30Thank God.
02:30I've never been so pleased for a phone ring.
02:32I'll get this.
02:33I'm getting this.
02:35Hello.
02:36Hi, could I speak to Bob Mortimer?
02:39Sure.
02:40Bob!
02:41Phone!
02:42Oh.
02:43Oh, thanks.
02:47Bob, could you get David Mitchell to arm wrestle with you?
02:52And if anyone asks why, I call.
02:54Just make up a reason.
02:55Okay.
02:56Thank you very much.
02:57Love you.
02:57Bye.
03:00See how he does it.
03:11How old are your children, David?
03:14One is 10 and one's 20 months.
03:17So you're doing lifting?
03:18Yeah, yeah.
03:19I remember being very strong because of holding children.
03:24Have you got...
03:25Uh, no.
03:27No, I'm far too old to have a small child, really.
03:30My body tells me that every day.
03:32I remember when Jim was a parent and we were at a hotel one night and Liam Gallagher was there.
03:40Jim, of course, is referring to Vic Reeves.
03:43Yes.
03:43Jim Moyer.
03:45And Liam says, Jim, you're not working class.
03:49Jim's not particularly bothered either way, as it were.
03:52Liam said, I fucking arm wrestle you.
03:55Let's see who's most working class.
03:59I would question whether winning an arm wrestle would be complete proof of being working class anyway.
04:06Quite...
04:07Is that the absolute clincher, that basically the working class are the best at arm wrestles?
04:12Can I arm wrestle?
04:14Do you like an arm wrestle?
04:15You, David, and see which one of us is.
04:16Yes.
04:17Let's say that the victor is very working class.
04:21Working class, okay.
04:22Don't mind it.
04:23No, I haven't had an arm wrestle for a long time.
04:25Has David Mitchell ever had any physical combatant other than throwing a chest piece?
04:30There's going to be an arm wrestle now.
04:32Oh, wow, arm wrestle.
04:34Arm wrestle.
04:35I knew at some point, David, you were going to start an arm wrestle.
04:38Let's find out if David Mitchell is working class.
04:42Have you always wanted to be working class?
04:44I hope.
04:45No, I'm quite content to be middle class.
04:48If you win, it's going to be a big change in your life, isn't it?
04:51But it will be interesting.
04:52If this was a movie, this was crash cut to David Mitchell drinking in a Wetherspoon.
04:57Like that?
04:58Okay.
04:59Elbows mustn't lift off the table, boys.
05:02Ready?
05:03One, two, three.
05:05Go on.
05:06Come on.
05:06Come on.
05:08Get stuck in.
05:09Come on, posh boy.
05:10We've got movement.
05:11We've got movement.
05:12Yes.
05:15He's gone mad.
05:16He's gone bright red.
05:17Yes.
05:20Officially.
05:21Working class.
05:22Working class.
05:23How many people are there that can say they've beaten David Mitchell in an arm wrestle?
05:27There's a very elite little group of us.
05:29Probably me and his wife.
05:32Maybe his children.
05:34Come on, then, ladies.
05:35Mud wrestles.
05:37Who knew?
05:39Oh, Bob.
05:40No way.
05:41Who?
05:41What?
05:44Doors.
05:45Gather round, please.
05:47Have you laughed now?
05:47Is it you's laughed?
05:48I don't know, Bob.
05:49I don't even know.
05:50I don't even know.
05:50I don't think I have.
05:50It's like farting these days.
05:52I don't even know if I've done it.
05:53Is it a laugh?
05:54Has someone laughed?
05:55Yeah, someone laughed.
05:56Let's have a look.
05:57We've got movement.
05:58Oh!
06:01He's gone red.
06:02He's gone bright red.
06:05Die!
06:07Die.
06:09Louie.
06:10I forgot.
06:10They don't miss anything.
06:12Completely forgot.
06:14Going to rights.
06:16I thought it might have been me, because this has been going up a little bit.
06:20But, yeah, when your face...
06:22Just went.
06:22And it was a big old...
06:23Yes.
06:23You're like...
06:24Yes.
06:25You didn't give a shit.
06:28It was really sweet.
06:30I was really enjoying myself.
06:32I was so disappointed at how easily I went.
06:36I just thought that this was like an everyday arm wrestle at home.
06:39Just like, oh, well done.
06:42Oh.
06:43I'm going to go back in there, restart the game.
06:45Thanks, Jimmy.
06:46Well done, Jim.
06:47It's anyone's game if these two can go down.
06:52So David's loud grunting was just too much for Diane.
06:55That's a yellow card.
06:58OK, let's restart the game.
07:01Oh, Christ, here we go again.
07:02This is relentless.
07:06Is anyone feeling a bit cold?
07:07It feels cold in here, doesn't it?
07:09Do you think it's a bit cold?
07:10It just feels a bit chilly.
07:12Diane, did you have a proper job before you started doing this, Lark?
07:14I've had loads of jobs, yeah.
07:17I used to pack worming tablets.
07:20Come by a belt sort of thing.
07:22The packets would give you paper cuts, and then the glue from the packets would seep into the cots, and
07:29your hands would swell up.
07:31Right.
07:31And you could always tell people that worked at the factory, because they'd be stood at the bus stop with
07:34massive hands.
07:38Did you ever take any homes?
07:41Massive hands?
07:42No.
07:43No.
07:44The, erm...
07:45Worming tablet.
07:47No.
07:48I didn't have a dog at the time.
07:51I got big hands once.
07:53Yeah?
07:53Because I'm allergic to pentacillin.
07:55Oh, and they puffed up?
07:56Yeah, they went really big.
07:58What did you do when you had your big hands?
08:00Did you put them to any use?
08:01No, at a hospital.
08:03You worked at a hospital?
08:05Oh, you went to a hospital?
08:06I went to a hospital, yeah.
08:07Oh, right, yeah.
08:09If one part of you was going to swell, you know, like, for the fun of it, it's only 48
08:14hours.
08:16Nose.
08:16Lips.
08:18Oh, yeah.
08:18Paid good money for that.
08:20What would you go for?
08:21What?
08:22What would you go for?
08:27Oh, here he comes.
08:35That's how much...
08:36Did I miss anything, guys?
08:38You're warmer?
08:39No, no, I went out and had a cigarette.
08:41What are you doing?
08:43No, just to have an inhaler, you see.
08:48It's the only thing that makes me feel better, you know?
08:53What's your quirky statement?
08:55How you doing, Bob, all right?
08:56I don't want you to deliver a quirk now.
08:58It's like pigeon scaring!
09:02How you doing, all right?
09:04When I had a cigarette, I just wish I could give it up.
09:07Actually, I sound butcher than my normal voice.
09:12Amy!
09:12Oh, Amy's in trouble, Bob's in trouble.
09:15Reminded me a bit of school, really.
09:16You know, me coming over to chat and then everyone just walking away.
09:20Why have you got a coat on?
09:21Because there is a massive bag of helium attached to my back.
09:28Happy now?
09:29Is that why you're floating three inches above the ground?
09:32Have you run out of helium?
09:33I used all the helium trying to get a laugh and everyone walked off.
09:37Isn't it very dangerous to have helium?
09:39Yeah, I've had to sign something to say if I die, it's my fault.
09:42My voice didn't really change.
09:45That was the biggest joke.
09:49OK, I think it's time for a joker. Who do you want to see?
09:52Diane Morgan.
09:53OK.
09:55Shall I get that? I'll get that.
09:57You'll get that.
10:00Good day, the penthouse suite of the Laughing Out Loud.
10:04No, it's not called Laughing Out Loud.
10:06What's this show called?
10:07Laugh Out Loud.
10:07Laughing Out Loud.
10:08Last one laughing.
10:09Last one in the laughing area.
10:12Is that...?
10:13Sorry, sorry, I've got the wrong number.
10:17Crank caller.
10:18She doesn't know the name of the show she's on.
10:22I mean...
10:24I'll have another go.
10:26Who's phoning? What's happening?
10:28I don't know, some weirdo phoning us up.
10:31It's just outrageous.
10:33Must remind you of your you for your dating days.
10:36Last one laughing.
10:37Oh, hi.
10:38Can I get Diane Morgan, please?
10:40One second.
10:42Diane, there's a phone call for you.
10:44Good luck.
10:46Hello.
10:47Oh, hi, Diane.
10:48Could you go and prepare your joker, please?
10:50Yes, of course.
10:52Are they complaining about how miserable you are?
10:56Oh, that's... that's cruel, that.
10:58You're starting to get a bit confident, aren't you?
11:01Cocky, I'd say.
11:02Yeah, cos you started off and you were, like,
11:03absolutely shitting yourself.
11:08But now you're instigating stuff.
11:09You're even taking the piss.
11:10No.
11:11Yeah? I'm not.
11:12You're getting...
11:13No way.
11:14You're getting a bit...
11:14Do you know what I mean?
11:15Oh, it's getting fizzy.
11:17It's fizzing up in there now.
11:18Does that mean we have to sit at the sofa?
11:20On the sofa?
11:21Oh, hello.
11:22Oh, no.
11:23Oh, here we go.
11:24Guys, is this like the young'uns, Soph?
11:26No, Mel.
11:27Can I bring the average age up?
11:28You come over here and be trendy.
11:30You're so...
11:31I love you young'uns gang.
11:32You're beautiful.
11:33Yeah.
11:33Yeah.
11:44This is Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night by Dylan Thomas.
11:50Do not go gentle into that good night.
11:54Old age should burn and rave at close of day.
11:58Rage.
11:59Rage against the dying of the light.
12:08Though wise men at their end, no dark is night.
12:12Because their words had forked no lightning day.
12:15Do not go gentle into that good night.
12:21Good men the last wave by.
12:23Crying how bright their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay.
12:28Rage.
12:30Rage.
12:34Against the dying of the light.
12:37Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight.
12:40And learned too late they grieved it on its way.
12:50Do not go gentle into that good night.
12:53Baby's eyes are watering.
12:55Grave men near death.
12:59Who see with blinding sight.
13:02Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay.
13:09Rage.
13:10Rage against the dying of the light.
13:13Rage.
13:14Light.
13:17And you my father there on the sad height.
13:22Rage.
13:22I've gone.
13:23I've fully gone.
13:25Bless me now.
13:27With your fierce tears I pray.
13:32Rage.
13:34Rage.
13:35Rage.
13:35Rage.
13:35Rage.
13:38Rage.
13:39Rage.
13:39against the dying
13:41of the light
13:42oh my god
13:46I'm sorry
13:50Emmy's gone
13:55oh my god
13:58I was crying
14:00I'm such a good boy
14:02oh god
14:05holy shit
14:07I was crying
14:10not only was she farting
14:12she was keeping really awkward
14:14eye contact with everyone
14:16which is a skill in itself
14:18that was such a great laugh
14:20and she survived right to the end of the poem
14:23baby that was frightening
14:26you know when you laugh so
14:28like your body thinks you're sad
14:30it started to feel painful
14:32to not be able to laugh
14:33and then the sound came out of me
14:35that was a bit demonic
14:37that was terrific
14:39thanks David that means a lot coming from you
14:42and I made that the nature
14:42the choice of farts and fart timing
14:46is immaculate
14:49thanks David
14:51that's it
14:52that's my favourite
14:53simple
14:54doors
14:55oh here we go
14:57well I don't want anyone to think I'm being overly harsh
14:59but if you watch very carefully
15:02I think you'll agree
15:05just have a look
15:06rage
15:07against the dying
15:09of the light
15:11oh my god I'm sorry
15:17I'm with the tears
15:19she's got little tears
15:20you're several seconds into it
15:22before it stops looking like grief
15:25it still feels a bit sad in my soul
15:29I brought in a yellow card
15:31we were going to bring in an exorcist
15:34what was that noise
15:35I mean I don't want to be that guy
15:36but you've got a weird laugh
15:39I just
15:40I just was holding it in for so long
15:42and I didn't even know
15:43when it came out
15:45I've not put that yellow card away
15:48no
15:48no way
15:50WTF
15:51this one is a little bit more subtle
15:53although all other laughter is subtle compared to that
15:56oh my god
15:57let's have a look
15:58rage against the dying of the
16:00sorry
16:01and you my father
16:03there on the sad height
16:05oh
16:06that was a definite smile
16:08so that's a yellow card
16:10oh
16:11I felt the laugh
16:12it was there
16:13I literally felt it just
16:15it was a great move from Morgan
16:17you've got a recognised game
16:19haven't you
16:20so far
16:21on yellow cards
16:22Bemi
16:23Maisie
16:23Diane
16:24Bob
16:24I'm going to go and restart the game
16:26wow
16:28doors
16:31thank you
16:32you're going for me
16:33I know you are
16:35right back at you
16:36first two minutes
16:37car right back at you
16:40so as Bemi and Maisie get their first yellow cards
16:42we're left wondering
16:43what did Diane Morgan have for lunch
16:47okay let's restart the game
16:52very brat isn't it
16:54it is brat
16:55it's very brat
16:56you across that Bob
16:57brat
16:58was that
16:58wasn't there a brat summer
17:00we had a brat summer
17:01I got asked to say that for radio
17:03and I had no idea what
17:05do you want to say it now
17:06what am I saying
17:07just say it
17:09I'm having a brat summer
17:10I'm having a brat summer
17:12that's good
17:13for you
17:14I wouldn't say I had a brat summer
17:16I had a more of like a sloppy lady
17:18hot in the heat
17:18I'm hot in the heat
17:20do you know what I mean
17:21yeah
17:22yeah
17:22I've always got wet cheeks
17:24do you know what I mean
17:25yeah
17:26no on my face
17:28on my face
17:29you nearly had him then
17:31you nearly had him
17:37anyone fancy a bit of yoga
17:39I see that's gone down well with the group
17:41I'm up for some yoga Mel
17:43you up
17:43I've got a yoga mat
17:44I can do some moves
17:45I have very very low flexibility
17:47that's why you need it though
17:49you don't have to be flexed gang
17:50I'll think about it
17:52I'm nervous
17:52I don't want to be unreasonable
17:54but I don't want to stick my neck out
17:57so Mel is on the front foot
17:59she's the aggressor
18:00no one saw this coming
18:02I don't trust you
18:03I'm not doing
18:04no I just brought my yoga mat
18:05because I thought
18:05there would be times
18:06where
18:08we could
18:09I'm not being funny
18:10but it looks like you haven't
18:11unrolled that yoga mat
18:12in a long time
18:13should we do some guys
18:14let's all get up on our feet
18:16are you the only one
18:17that gets a mat
18:17this is just going to be there
18:19for
18:20just the look of the whole thing
18:22okay
18:22so that was all pointless
18:23what's the block for
18:24we'll put one of those down there
18:27let's
18:27let's get loose
18:28and then
18:29tilt
18:31up
18:32tilt
18:33up
18:34are you a qualified instructor Mel?
18:36not at all
18:37okay great
18:37I did some YouTube work
18:39feel your
18:40central girdle
18:42central cradle
18:43down
18:44cradle
18:46is that where my testicles are?
18:48how are your testicles hanging David?
18:49lower
18:50but still
18:51it's like a
18:51race to the bottom
18:52and it's clear which one will win
18:54and by the bottom
18:54I mean the floor
18:55not my anus
19:00I can't do this
19:02do you not get penalised for dropping out now?
19:04you would get fired from David Lloyd
19:05let me tell you that
19:06should we still be thrusting our girdles?
19:09it's a lot of pelvic stuff
19:11in this routine
19:11yeah
19:11because it's all about feeling
19:13the centre of your bodies
19:15I was enjoying doing the yoga
19:17but you can't watch David Mitchell
19:19doing pelvis yoga
19:21I defy anyone to watch that
19:27are you a royalist David?
19:29I wouldn't say a royalist
19:30I don't mind
19:31the royal family
19:32no
19:33do you know what I do?
19:34do you go like to
19:34Sandringham on Christmas Day
19:36and give Princess Anna
19:37crunchy and all that?
19:38no
19:38oh that's nice
19:39it's really nice
19:40she loves it
19:41she recognises me every time
19:42have you met his lordship
19:44the king of England?
19:45no
19:45no have you?
19:47I have
19:47yeah
19:48did you do the helium thing?
19:50no I didn't
19:51I thought maybe not
19:52you know
19:53because he is the king
19:54I think he'd
19:55I think he'd find it funny
19:56yeah
19:57he laughs a lot
19:58I notice
19:59what's the laugh?
20:00what does he do?
20:01no
20:01cheeky
20:02it would count as a laugh
20:03even if it was a
20:04well he sounds actually
20:05like a leaf blower
20:06doesn't he?
20:07eeeeh
20:19eeeeh
20:19um Mel
20:20to do her joker please
20:22yes
20:23yes
20:23thank you
20:26Mel
20:27can you do your joker please?
20:29go on Mel
20:30go on Mel
20:31good luck Mel
20:32cheers gang
20:33you got this probably
20:34have you got a favourite
20:35king or queen?
20:36I'd have to go for
20:37Elizabeth I
20:38because she was
20:39a redhead
20:40yeah
20:40I'd have to
20:41that's why I go for
20:42Richard III
20:43because I've got a hump
20:44were you keen on
20:45Margaret Thatcher
20:46for that reason?
20:47was she a redhead?
20:48well it was always weird
20:50with her hair
20:51wasn't it
20:51because the more
20:52she attacked the miners
20:54the more her hair
20:54looked like a miner's helmet
20:56it looked solid
20:58she was implying
20:59that she could have
21:00done the job
21:00her own hair
21:01stick a light there
21:02and she could have
21:03gone down a mine
21:04with a canary
21:05yeah
21:05with one of those
21:06she wouldn't have got
21:07vibration white finger
21:11no
21:13where you going?
21:14where you going Alan?
21:16where you going?
21:16a cup of tea
21:21are these your
21:21cheeses you've
21:22brought from home
21:23Bob?
21:24no they're in the
21:25fridge
21:25how much cheese
21:26are you allowed
21:26a day?
21:28I'm officially
21:29allowed a matchbox
21:30a week
21:31like wartime
21:31rations
21:33when you've had
21:34more than a
21:35matchbox
21:35should I
21:36bat your hand
21:37away?
21:37you should do
21:38yeah
21:38slap me
21:40how often do you
21:41do a big shop
21:41Bob?
21:42a big shop
21:43a big shop
21:47who's cut that up?
21:49who do you think?
21:50what did you use
21:50your tongue?
21:51what?
21:54one of my tactics
21:55was that I could get
21:57Alan out by staring
21:58at him
22:01and I asked Romesh
22:02if he'd help me
22:06don't stare at me
22:12this is bullying now
22:15this is bullying
22:18oh here we go
22:20do you mind if I sit
22:21on this one?
22:21oh yes please
22:24oh no
22:26shut up
22:29some of you
22:30may know this already
22:31but I started out
22:33as a street performer
22:34so I'm going to dip
22:36into my back catalogue
22:41she's a street performer
23:00you can keep that
23:07ignore the guys in green
23:09you won't see them
23:10against the green screen
23:11we forgot the green screen
23:13ooh
23:15yes
23:16wow
23:23what are we watching?
23:25I don't know
23:25wind effect
23:29wow
23:29now
23:32take it off
23:35oh my gosh
23:36seamless
23:39oh it's red riding on
23:44she's really eating
23:45those croissants
23:46mate
23:51oh did she just spit
23:53that out?
23:53she's just regurgitated
23:54the croissant
23:56baby's going to go
23:57oh baby's going to go
24:05where's Mel?
24:08who's this son?
24:10Mary Anning
24:14Nish
24:17Hammartine
24:38that's a modern dance there
24:40come on
24:45whoa
24:47no that was so cool
24:49that was deadly
24:51great eye contact
24:52that was amazing
24:56have you forgotten what to do next?
25:01I love it
25:02I loved her
25:03that was amazing
25:05she's done that spin before
25:07haven't she?
25:07that was
25:08I think if it was last one gasping
25:11then she would have won
25:12yeah yeah
25:13how'd you man?
25:13took my breath away
25:14oh I see
25:15that bit at the end
25:17where she did a spin
25:19I thought I was watching Cirque du Soleil
25:22honestly she was like a rotisserie chicken
25:24I think it was very good
25:26it was slick wasn't it?
25:27it was good and it was funny
25:29and I feel guilty
25:30for not laughing
25:31yeah
25:31I would have so enjoyed laughing at that
25:34it deserved a big old laugh
25:36it's like lots of delicious food
25:39that we just look at and throw away
25:41that spin
25:43she could have cracked her head open
25:45yeah it was quite dangerous that bit
25:47just think of the paperwork they had to go through
25:50for that to be allowed to happen
25:51it's inspiring really
25:52I can't believe we did that 360 degree flip
25:55for a menopausal lady
25:57that will bring on certain chemical reactions
26:00and I can safely say that yes it did
26:03did you know I was outed by a Ouija board?
26:07we are?
26:08that's how I came out
26:09you were so gay that the spirits know
26:11I was doing a Ouija board with my mum
26:12and it spelt out homo
26:14no
26:15and then it called my mum a slut
26:19my mum said you're pushing this
26:21I said no I'm not
26:22I said I don't need the dark arts
26:24to call you a slut
26:28you sure it wasn't all just one word
26:30and you were being called a homo slut?
26:32no because it stopped
26:33and then went
26:33slut
26:34oh okay
26:35nice name for a pub
26:36if ever you and your mum open a pub
26:38no that's too much for a pub
26:39do you fancy a quick half down the homo and slut?
26:44I look like a retired Bollywood director
26:46and then you put the cap on
26:48did you ever watch
26:49Kuch Kuch Hoda He?
26:50not yet
26:51Kuch Kuch Hoda He
26:53it's so good man
26:55where will I watch that?
26:57errr my mum's house
26:59okay great
26:59she's got it on DVD
27:00I'm there
27:01she loves it
27:01have you seen Lagarn?
27:03yeah I've seen Lagarn
27:03I can't be doing with both of you
27:05Lagarn is good huh?
27:06poor Alan's getting it from all angles
27:08stop saying the name of that programme
27:12film
27:12I'm just warning you now
27:13film
27:13it's a movie
27:14film whatever
27:15movie
27:16no
27:16movie bastard
27:17no no no
27:18stop it now
27:20enough
27:21oh look at him
27:22he's an absolute buffet for bullies
27:24they're just trying to break me
27:26watch it
27:27ganging up
27:27get it watched
27:31well done Mel
27:32well done Mel
27:34that's great stuff
27:38was that true Alan?
27:39yeah genuinely true
27:39did you realise you were gay before that
27:42or did that give you the idea?
27:43I was straight
27:43I was married with three kids
27:44right
27:44and I wish I'd never done the winter ball
27:47yeah fair enough
27:47this is what the spirits say
27:49that's it yeah
27:49give it a go
27:50I'm sure I can get into it
27:53the fruit machine is now available
27:55for inspiration
27:56just pull the lever
27:57and follow the prompts
27:58he said lever
27:59lever
28:00alright somebody's trying to break America
28:02what's going on here?
28:03I don't know if I agree with that at all
28:09oh
28:10best life advice
28:12oh
28:13well I think it would be
28:15borrow your next door neighbour's Ouija board
28:17and
28:18take the sexual journey it suggests
28:20yep
28:20that's good
28:21it's not who you know
28:22it's who you blow
28:23strong
28:24I've lived by that for a long time
28:26but presumably the person you blow
28:27you will know
28:28at least a bit
28:30or not
28:30who told me that?
28:32your mum
28:32no
28:33Martin Lewis
28:34the money
28:34money saving person
28:35Martin Lewis
28:36it's not who you know
28:37it's who you blow
28:38that's a hell of a money saving tip
28:39and he popped in for a mortgage
28:41yeah
28:41money saving tip right on the lips
28:42what I do
28:43and I actually follow this myself
28:45whenever I leave my house
28:47I shout
28:48goodbye granddad
28:49before I shut the door
28:51and then people won't burgle it
28:53because they'll think that somebody is inside
28:55oh that is clever
28:55looking downwards
28:56like he's on the floor in trouble
28:57there's an old man
28:58which burglar's going to be scared of your granddad?
29:01you haven't seen him
29:02well neither have they
29:03Mel Gedgeworth says goodbye granddad
29:05no burgers going
29:05Jesus Christ
29:06you've seen her
29:07he is long dead
29:10but is hard as nails
29:11but from your eyeline
29:13he would appear to be about 10 inches tall
29:15yeah
29:15because you've gone like that
29:17goodbye granddad
29:18is he buried under the floorboards?
29:21why don't you shout
29:21alright killer
29:22I'm getting you some more meat
29:27I was by my grandmother's bedside
29:29when she passed away
29:30and just as she sort of was going
29:34she looked at me and she said
29:35I'm still disappointed
29:44do you know what
29:45I was once in a taxi cab
29:48and I said what was your COVID like
29:49spent most of it in a K-hole
29:52was that the cab driver or you?
29:55he's having to have a think about that
29:57isn't he?
29:58was it him
29:59or was it the cab driver
30:00that was in the K-hole
30:03in the K-hole
30:04was it you or the cab driver?
30:05it was the cab driver
30:07ah
30:11gather on the sofas please
30:15I've got a treat for you
30:16a treat
30:18oh hello
30:20take the scenic route
30:21I was trying to do a
30:23Dukes of Hazzard style
30:24entry
30:25oh
30:26I hope it's not crispy cream doughnuts
30:29I think they're overrated
30:31what's this about?
30:32they can't look away
30:36oh my god
30:38no way
30:43you're fucking kidding me
30:4750 ducks
30:48bam
30:49oh
30:49it's like a robot that can shit
30:51I'm just trying to find out what you're into Alan
30:54I mean this is a very strong team
30:561, 2, 3, 4
30:57nipple nipple
31:00oh
31:03he's got his laptop
31:05oh yes please
31:08I smell a rat bomb
31:11and his testicles
31:12and his testicles are just dangling separately to the rest of his body
31:14and then he just dips it submerges
31:16and then lifts
31:31and he picks it up
31:32and then I'll be fine
31:33yeah
31:33yeah
31:38I'm just kidding see you next time
31:39haha
31:47and then I'm so sorry
32:15We'll see you next time.
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