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00:04Yes, ma'am. Full house, take one, common mark.
00:10Greetings, beloveds. I am back. Am I in the right place? Facing the right direction.
00:19Back on for you. Okay, thank you, my love. When Fix My Life first aired, it was more than a
00:27television program. It was a cultural mirror where week after week, we invited millions
00:34of viewers into raw, unfiltered conversations about pain, about trauma, and about healing.
00:42It was not entertainment. It was transformation that was televised, where the viewers became
00:51sacred witnesses to the human journey required to clean up, show up, and do the work required
01:03to heal. This story speaks to what is required to live harmoniously.
01:11There's Will, Carrie's husband, who the family calls Uncle Pumpkin.
01:16Here's what I want you to hear, Uncle Pumpkin. You invited these people into your house.
01:21Carrie said, no, I don't want them here. And you let them in anyway. You sacrificed your
01:26wife. I'm hurt. I'm loved. I call her the witch of the house.
01:31These people need help. I don't even think I can help them. They need help.
01:38Fix my full house. What an incredible story of healing. Now we call it intergenerational living.
01:49But back then, it was just the members of the family who needed a place to stay. This family
01:57hadn't done their work. And you're about to witness a crowded house that becomes a divided house.
02:05It's about a marriage that's suffocating under the weight of everyone else's needs.
02:13It's about a wife who was turned into and became a villain. And a husband turned into a patriarch.
02:24You'll meet Miss Carrie, who wasn't just drinking. She was drowning under the weight of unspoken hurt and trauma.
02:37And Mr. Will was unknowingly recreating the very dysfunction he swore he would never repeat.
02:44Uncle Pumpkin remains one of my favorite guests. He wanted to do better. He just didn't know the truth behind
02:53the crazy man running rampant on his watch.
02:57This story wasn't just about 14 people living together in one house. It was about 14 unspoken wounds grieving in
03:11every room.
03:12A very powerful episode filled with lessons for us all. I know you will see some version of yourself or
03:21someone you know in the family you are about to meet in this incredibly full house.
03:29I am Iyamla Vansant and I'm back to help you do your work.
03:50I'm in my home state of Maryland, very close to the city I live in, because there's a family in
03:57total right there.
03:58I'm here to do the work in a chaotic home packed with 14 house guests and one angry mom.
04:06I always say the man builds the house, but the woman makes the home.
04:13Now what happens if the woman isn't home in her own house? That's a problem.
04:20Will, a local restaurant owner, has invited 14 members of his family,
04:27including nine children, to live in his home against the wishes of his wife Carrie.
04:33Will and I, we just cohabitate together basically.
04:37Carrie has reacted by lashing out with angry words, and in the last few months they say she has become
04:44violent.
04:45She hit me. She open-handedly smacked me in my face in the left side.
04:51My wife's just a real bitch.
04:54Family members say that Carrie's behavior gets worse when she drinks.
04:59Don't let Aunt Carrie know that there's a cocktail nearby because, oh, I forgot to tell you how she was
05:06a secret drunk.
05:07Did I mention that?
05:08She spends a lot of her time in her room getting lit.
05:12Things are so bad Carrie says she's ready to walk away from her 34-year marriage.
05:19Behind the walls of this house, there's a hot mess brewing.
05:23It is important to get Miss Carrie out of this hostile household before I dig into the cause of the
05:30breakdown.
05:32Good morning.
05:34Will a lady of the house join me?
05:37I certainly do.
05:37Everybody else, I'll be right back.
05:40Okay.
05:41All right.
05:41Aren't I special?
05:43Mm-hmm.
05:44Today you're gonna be queen for a day.
05:46Wow.
05:47Queen for a day.
05:49And all I need you to do is trust the process.
05:52Okay.
05:53Just trust the process.
05:55Okay.
05:55The driver's gonna tell you everything you need to know.
05:59Okay.
06:00Have a wonderful day, Miss Lady of the House.
06:03I just wanted to make sure that the lady of the house was taken care of.
06:08And I want to have a town meeting with the family.
06:12Okay.
06:12First, hold this for me while y'all get ready for your, um, for the town hall meeting.
06:18Mm-hmm.
06:22I just want to make sure that this is in place.
06:32So, where's Killa?
06:34She's not here.
06:36She's not here.
06:36She's not here.
06:37Right.
06:38But those are her children, huh?
06:40Mm-hmm.
06:40Mm-hmm.
06:40Oh.
06:41Okay.
06:42Interesting.
06:43I need you to be willing to go into some places that scare you.
06:48Mm-hmm.
06:49So, are you in?
06:51We're in.
06:52Yes.
06:53You're not saying nothing.
06:54You're just shaking your head.
06:55Let me hear, let me hear your voice.
06:57I'm in.
06:58All right.
06:59I just, cause I have to hear your voice now.
07:01Now, this is not gonna look like you think it's gonna look.
07:06I'm not taking anybody's side here.
07:09I'm not on a side.
07:11I'm for healing.
07:13Why am I here, people?
07:15Why am I here?
07:17We need help.
07:18Okay, what does that mean?
07:19We need your help.
07:20Well, my sister-in-law.
07:22That would be Carrie?
07:23Yes.
07:24Okay.
07:24The lady of the house?
07:26Yes.
07:27She has a tendency of going out of her way to make your life miserable.
07:32I could be talking to her, and one minute we're playing and we're talking.
07:36Then all of a sudden, from out of the blue, she'll switch up.
07:39And I just say, okay, and I'll walk on away.
07:41In her house, you can't deal with how she is.
07:46Interesting.
07:47Yeah.
07:48Why am I here, Jamal?
07:50She always has an attitude.
07:51Her face always looked like a pig's ass in her face.
07:54I used to call it the witch of the house.
07:57I feel like Aunt Carrie gets on her broom, and she just raised hell with everybody.
08:03I mean...
08:03So in her house, she gets on her broom...
08:08Yes.
08:09...and disturbs house guests.
08:11Because you're a guest here.
08:12Yes, we are.
08:15Interesting.
08:16Her and I have had several altercations, and...
08:20In her house?
08:21In her house.
08:22I don't care who house it is.
08:24You're not going to disrespect me.
08:26So...
08:26Well, my, my.
08:28Let me just clutch my pearls.
08:30Let me clutch my pearls.
08:32Yeah, you need to clutch yours.
08:34Because if you were in my house, I would choke you with them.
08:53You just called your mother a witch.
08:56Mm-hmm.
08:57In her house.
08:58I'm over this in her house thing.
09:00I'm done.
09:01Loose boundaries.
09:03You're done?
09:04What does that mean?
09:06Because it's like...
09:07I feel like this is, like, being flipped.
09:10And now we're painting this picture of this lady of the house and her house.
09:13I mean, seriously?
09:15Well, one of the things that's interesting is so very often someone will write to me about someone else they
09:25believe needs help.
09:26And then when we get down into the story, we realize that the very person that wrote about them is
09:35the person who has the greatest problem.
09:37And the person upon whom the healing will need to focus.
09:41Yes.
09:42That happens quite often.
09:44Here's an agreement I want to talk about.
09:47The silent agreement you seem to have about not talking about the fact that Miss Carrie drinks.
09:55Either the pressure of what's going on has led her to drink, or the drinking leads to the behavior you
10:03see.
10:04And you walk away.
10:07You don't address it.
10:09You don't talk about it anymore.
10:11You don't admit it.
10:14And you the man of the house.
10:17Yep.
10:20And I'm sorry to say I don't care.
10:25I have to say I don't love her, but I just don't care.
10:30She's in trouble.
10:32She's in trouble.
10:33Yes, she behaves badly.
10:35Yes.
10:36Yes, her mouth is foul.
10:38Yes.
10:39This is my thing.
10:40She's in trouble, Jamal.
10:42She is.
10:43People in trouble need help.
10:44Absolutely.
10:45And people in trouble who can't communicate on a general basis may not have the words to say,
10:50Help me, I'm in trouble.
10:55See, part of the problem here is y'all don't tell the truth.
10:58Everybody tells the truth from their perspective, but not the truth of what's going on.
11:04There's a bigger truth here.
11:08When she lost her first baby, that's when it started.
11:11Yeah.
11:13How did she lose the baby?
11:15Crib death.
11:16Crib death.
11:17That's not losing a baby.
11:18That's losing a child.
11:20He was probably a week.
11:23A week old.
11:24Yeah.
11:25So a week after a woman gives birth to her baby, she comes to the crib and finds him dead.
11:32Yeah.
11:33She started drinking and it was always, no matter what was in the house, it was gone.
11:40Let me just go in the bush and weep.
11:42Let me just go in the bush and weep.
11:44I just have to go in the bush and weep.
11:47Really.
11:48I don't understand.
11:50I swear to God, I don't understand.
11:54It was very rare for me to have an emotional response to a guest or a guest story.
12:05But this story touched me in ways that I still remember to this day.
12:16Perhaps as a mother who'd buried a child, I understood and recognized the depth of that pain in a way
12:31that members of this family just couldn't.
12:36Yeah.
12:38I remember going to the bushes to weep.
12:41Not for Miss Carrie, but for myself.
12:46I got good reason to flip.
12:48So are you done with your marriage?
12:49Is that what you're telling me?
12:50Yes.
12:55We are unpacking episodes of Fix My Life so that you can do the work too.
13:01We all have relationships and we all have those relationships that are in breakdown or upset.
13:08So is this your story playing out in real time where either in your family, your love life, your work
13:18life, your social life, there are things going on in your relationship that stink?
13:25And if so, where are you tolerating dysfunction and unexpressed trauma in the name of love or family?
13:35Now listen, this is about good spiritual hygiene.
13:40And I know the importance of doing your work.
13:44I buried a child.
13:46She was 31.
13:47Mmm.
13:50There's no amount of liquor in the world that can fill that hole.
13:54Right.
13:55Nothing.
13:56It's in every breath I take now, 10 years later.
14:00When a woman buries a child, there's a hole in her soul that changes who she is.
14:08Yeah.
14:10But here's what I want you to hear, Uncle Punkin.
14:12You invited these people into your house.
14:15Somewhere along the way, Miss Carrie said, no, I don't want them here.
14:20And you let them in anyway, to be the patriarch.
14:23You brought me here saying this woman is a bitch and a witch and she's ruining everybody's life and she's
14:29broken and damaged and you knew it.
14:32Y'all call me here.
14:34I hope you'll be happy when I leave.
14:37I'm just horrified.
14:40Horrified.
14:43I can't imagine it.
14:45And then there are nine children in this house.
14:51These people need help.
14:53I don't even think I can help them.
14:55They need help.
14:59I know this pain.
15:02I know family pain.
15:05And while living with the trauma, Carrie is under constant fire in her own home that no one seems to
15:14notice or care about.
15:15She is really the heart of the family.
15:20I really want to help restore her to her rightful place.
15:25And it's all grounded in the reality that your truth, the truth of your heart, your mind, your soul, will
15:35really set you free from the thing that's holding you in the dysfunction.
15:42Miss Carrie, how did these people get into your house?
15:47They're family and they need help.
15:50They are my husband's family.
15:52So what was the conversation with your husband that these people would be in your house?
15:59I was informed like a day or so before they actually moved in.
16:07And so...
16:07You were informed.
16:09I was informed.
16:10I wasn't asked.
16:12The thing that everybody says about you is about...
16:17They say I'm angry.
16:19I got a good reason to flip.
16:21And I'mma flip some more.
16:22I hear that.
16:24And I'm not saying that you don't have a reason to flip.
16:28I'mma flip right out the door.
16:30So are you done with your marriage?
16:32Is that what you're telling me?
16:34Yes.
16:36Have you told your husband that you're leaving?
16:39No.
16:41I will once I get my plan in progress.
16:46Well, that's what he did.
16:47He let you know.
16:48Once he got his plan in place that Jamal was coming, he let you know.
16:51So you are doing the same thing that you say he did?
16:56Yes, I guess so.
16:59I had a conversation with Mr. Will today.
17:03And we talked about your son that you lost.
17:10He actually spoke on that.
17:13Yeah.
17:16I don't speak on that.
17:18Why not?
17:21It's too painful.
17:23You never get over losing a child.
17:25I've buried one.
17:27Have you?
17:28Yeah.
17:28I'm sorry for you.
17:29I'm sorry for you.
17:32So what do you do with that pain?
17:37Nothing.
17:38I don't do anything with it.
17:40I pray on it.
17:41How's that helping you?
17:43Not talking about it.
17:44Because your family talks about your anger, how you strike out.
17:49Is it possible that that's how you work through your pain?
17:53That's quite possible.
17:57Quite understandable.
17:59Yeah.
18:00But dealing with your pain in that way has created total chaos in your household.
18:05It has.
18:06Right.
18:08Mr. Will shared with me today that he thinks after you walked in there and found your weak
18:14old baby dead, that that's when you started drinking.
18:19Is that accurate?
18:20No.
18:23Yeah, I mean, I probably was at that time.
18:27I mean, it would be very understandable.
18:30So when did you start drinking?
18:32I was drinking during that time.
18:35But I don't make it a habit.
18:38Oh, you don't?
18:39No, I don't.
18:40Everybody agreed on two things.
18:44One is that you were the problem.
18:46And that two, you have a drinking problem.
18:49Okay.
18:50Everybody agreed on that.
18:52All right.
18:53What does that mean, all right?
18:56That's what they believe.
18:58I'm in denial.
19:02I just want to be out of there.
19:05But, Miss Carrie, when you leave there, you're taking you with you.
19:09So leaving there, Miss Carrie, is not gonna change until you change.
19:17Miss Alexis packed this bag for you.
19:20Okay.
19:21I tell Miss Carrie that she's staying here at the hotel tonight.
19:24And tomorrow, I don't care if you leave or stay.
19:29I'm not invested, but you will speak your tune.
19:38A big old sister girl hug.
19:41All right, sister girl.
19:49I got you.
19:51I got you.
19:52Let it out.
19:53Let it out.
19:56Just a real mess right now.
19:59Miss Carrie.
20:01Change comes through chaos.
20:04Right.
20:04Change is not pretty.
20:06Nope.
20:08And it's okay.
20:09Nope.
20:12I'm just frustrated.
20:14I was hoping that sea would just leave.
20:16That's gonna be a sad day.
20:19Sad situation.
20:27What?
20:28You're dropping your neck.
20:29Bring the pad up.
20:32And go.
20:33What is this?
20:35Mm-hmm.
20:37Mm-hmm.
20:37Mm-hmm.
20:38Let's unpack it.
20:39Let's realign it.
20:40Let's fix it.
20:41For you.
20:43It's important that you do a family inventory.
20:49Write down where you are carrying people and problems and pain and what it costs you.
20:56Then tell the truth.
20:59Tell the truth about what is poisoning your home, your family, and your heart.
21:06And then honor yourself by doing what's required to have spiritual hygiene for your mind.
21:13What do you need to clean up?
21:15Spiritual hygiene for your heart.
21:17What do you need to let go of?
21:19Spiritual hygiene for your body.
21:21What do you need to do or not do?
21:24And spiritual hygiene for your soul.
21:27Where are you going?
21:29And what is your new desire?
21:32Now, I'm about to show Uncle Pumpkin how he got into this mess in the first place.
21:39I remember my team shaking their heads in disbelief when I asked for a big old catfish.
21:46I had to make it clear the mess that he made that he may never ever forget.
21:54Would you consider yourself the head of this household?
21:57Yes.
21:57Okay.
21:58Because you brought your wife here.
22:00Mm-hmm.
22:01You invited your sister.
22:03Yes.
22:03And your nephew and a host of other people along the way to my gift, Uncle Will.
22:13I'm going to take him, you take the box.
22:16Wow.
22:19Because, Uncle Pumpkin, the fish stinks from the head to the tail.
22:27Mm-hmm.
22:29You the head.
22:30Mm-hmm.
22:31Fish don't stink from the tail to the head.
22:33Let me talk about that for a moment.
22:35The fish stinking, or healing, or growing, or falling apart.
22:42Because power doesn't run up.
22:44Because power doesn't run up.
22:45It runs down.
22:46So whoever is at the head of the family, the head of the company, the head of the group,
22:52the head, whatever's going on at the head is going to filter down through all faces of whatever is beneath
23:01it.
23:01Power doesn't run out.
23:03Power doesn't run out.
23:03It runs down.
23:05Starts at the head.
23:06Your head.
23:09What happened that made it okay with you that people would come into your household and talk about your wife?
23:17Yes.
23:18What made that okay was they were a relief for me.
23:24I wasn't hearing Carrie into my ear.
23:28So it was easy for me to just say, hey, if she's on you guys, I can get a break.
23:38But don't you understand, Mr. Will, that you set the tone and you gave people permission to do that?
23:47Yeah, I didn't even realize that.
23:49I don't understand how you knowing all of this can look at Carrie's behavior and think it's evil and angry
23:58and bitchy and not sorrow and grief that has driven this woman to the bottom.
24:07It took you to bring that out to me, but you're right.
24:13And I wasn't there for her at all.
24:17As a matter of fact, I've been so bitter, I was hoping that she would just leave.
24:26And that was because I'm just frustrated.
24:29And overwhelmed.
24:30And overwhelmed.
24:31And stuffing your own sorrow.
24:33Mm-hmm.
24:34And Mr. Will, you didn't have a model about how to do any of that.
24:39So Carrie's always reminding me.
24:42That's her biggest thing she tells me.
24:44You just like your father.
24:45I see your father more and more today than every day.
24:47But I hated my father for one thing.
24:49Why?
24:50My father was a womanizer.
24:54That's why we have so many brothers and sisters.
24:56And I swore I would never be like him.
25:02Did he ever tell you he was proud of you?
25:05No.
25:07He never even told me he loved me.
25:10Oh, Mr. Will.
25:12Mm-hmm.
25:14That's how dad raised us.
25:15That was the example that he made.
25:17The son is going to grow up and do what he saw his father do.
25:23Mm-hmm.
25:23It's called the pathology.
25:25It's the pattern.
25:26And it goes generation to generation to generation.
25:31And while you may not be a womanizer in the street, you got your sister and killer.
25:36These are the women you got living in your wife's house.
25:40Mm-hmm.
25:40Can I tell you something?
25:42Mm-hmm.
25:43It's really, really hard for a woman to have another woman in her house.
25:50Mm-hmm.
25:51I don't want another woman using my pots.
25:54I don't want another woman in my bathtub.
25:57It's hard for women to share energy.
26:00And then they don't even treat her with the respect that she's due as a woman who's birthed and raised
26:08her children.
26:09She don't even get that respect.
26:11So who is she?
26:12Is she just another tenant here?
26:15I might as well say that's where it is.
26:17Because?
26:18The head allowed it.
26:22I hope you do better, Mr. Will.
26:24Because you're willing.
26:26You're willing.
26:27And I think you love Carrie enough to want to save her.
26:31I do.
26:36Right now, I just don't know what I'm about to walk into.
26:47We are unpacking my time with Ms. Carrie and Uncle Pumpkin so that you can do the work, too.
26:54I am hopeful now that Ayala is here, that our family can get back on track the way we should
27:02be.
27:03If it doesn't work out that way, then that's going to be a sad day, a sad situation.
27:18I think Ms. Carrie's here, so why don't we go greet her?
27:27Hi. She looks nice.
27:28Hello.
27:29How you doing?
27:30Okay.
27:31Yeah.
27:32How you doing?
27:34Um...
27:35Come on.
27:39Good morning.
27:40Good morning.
27:41Good morning.
27:41Is that how you greet your husband?
27:43Good morning.
27:45Recently, yeah.
27:46All right.
27:47Well, we're going to talk about that, too.
27:48This house is full of challenges, but at its foundation is a couple who just don't trust each other.
27:56Unless that changes, this house will come tumbling down.
27:59The thing that interrupts intimacy and connection quicker than anything else is a violation of trust.
28:08Mr. Will, we talked yesterday about the times when Ms. Carrie felt that you weren't there to protect her.
28:17Mm-hmm.
28:18That she didn't feel safe.
28:20Mm-hmm.
28:20About the promises you made to your beloved that you didn't keep.
28:25Mm-hmm.
28:25About the times you disappointed her.
28:28Those things still live in her heart.
28:31Mm-hmm.
28:32You two have to be willing to forgive each other and let that go.
28:37But, Mr. Will, you've got to take ownership and responsibility for the number of failures and the number of disappointments
28:47that you have walked her through without an explanation.
28:51You've got to own it.
28:52You've got to own it, Mr. Will.
28:53Yeah.
28:54Yeah, Ms. Carrie.
28:58Yeah.
29:02It's a painful thing when you have to hold so many of your feelings inside.
29:14Yeah, because...
29:18Because?
29:19If I let my feelings out...
29:21Yeah.
29:26I feel he won't see the vulnerability.
29:29He'll see it as a weakness.
29:31Oh, yeah.
29:32Let's test it.
29:34Let's test it.
29:35Look at your husband and tell him, I am afraid to be vulnerable with you.
29:41I'm afraid to...
29:43I'm afraid to be vulnerable with you.
29:44Because?
29:48How many men are absolutely clueless that their way of being, their way of speaking, makes their wife or partner
30:00or girlfriend feel unsafe?
30:04And how many women feel unsafe with their husband, boyfriend, partner, and yet don't have the words to say it?
30:16Oh, it happens every day.
30:20Because I didn't think you care.
30:23Yes.
30:25I do care.
30:27Well, move in and let her know.
30:28He may not know how to say what he needs to say.
30:33And you, not knowing how to ask for what you need.
30:39Oh, this is just a poor spiritual hygiene cocktail for disaster.
30:45Tell her, I was so busy.
30:47I was so busy.
30:48Trying not to be like my father.
30:52Tell her.
30:53Tell her.
30:54Trying not to be like that.
30:56I didn't know who to be like.
31:00I didn't know who to be like.
31:01Yeah.
31:01You were right, baby.
31:03I ended up doing to you what he did to my mother.
31:06What he did.
31:07Please forgive me.
31:08Please.
31:16I do love you, baby.
31:18I missed you.
31:19I missed you.
31:22Y'all have to learn how to hold on to each other in a hard time.
31:29This man is not going to hurt you.
31:32That don't mean he's always got good behavior, but he loves you.
31:37What courage for a man to be that vulnerable.
31:44Sadly, Uncle Pumpkin has passed away since we taped the show.
31:49I was impressed, however, by his willingness to trust me and the process because Uncle Pumpkin was OG.
31:57He was the old guard.
32:01But willing to be vulnerable as a demonstration of healing, as a demonstration of what's possible.
32:11To acknowledge that he hurts.
32:16That's huge for a man.
32:18Don't hear that this as an attack.
32:21We're trying to create a new way.
32:22It's not an attack.
32:23It's just like I could have been handling the rest of my business to make sure my stuff be done
32:27today.
32:28Instead of sitting here listening to a bunch of bull crap.
32:31That's how I honestly feel.
32:32I feel like I don't waste my time.
32:39We are unpacking my time with Miss Carrie and Uncle Pumpkin so that you can do the work too.
32:47For the past two days, I've been doing the work with a husband and wife on the brink of divorce.
32:53I do love you, baby.
32:54I love you.
32:55I missed you.
32:56I missed you.
32:56Now that Mr. Will and Miss Carrie are on the same page, it's time for them to get their chaotic
33:03house in order.
33:05Hello.
33:06Hello.
33:07Hello.
33:08Will and Carrie's son, Mac, has abandoned the process.
33:11How's everybody?
33:12Good.
33:13But Will's niece, La'Killa, who lives in the house with her four children, is finally joining us.
33:20So, one of the things that I've been talking to Mr. Will, Uncle Pumpkin, and Miss Lady about is really
33:31how to structure this so that it works for everybody.
33:35You know?
33:37I introduced Uncle Pumpkin yesterday to the fish.
33:41Share with them what you learned about the fish.
33:44If the head is not leading, then the whole fish stinks.
33:53I'm the head.
33:54I'm going to lead y'all as best I can.
33:56And the reason the fish can move is not just because of the head, but because it has fins.
34:03Yeah?
34:03And Miss Carrie is the fins.
34:05I'm the fins.
34:06Yeah.
34:08So what do you want to share with the village about what you've learned, Miss Carrie?
34:13By not communicating properly that I was holding a tremendous amount of pain and hurt within.
34:31I'm so thankful that my daughter called you.
34:34I needed a healing.
34:42And I feel the healing coming.
34:44I want you to stand up in your choice, Miss Carrie.
34:47Stand up because, you know, sometimes if we don't stand in the choice, we forget it.
34:52Forget it.
34:52Yeah.
34:53Go ahead.
34:53What is the choice that you made?
34:54The choice that I have made is to...
34:58I'm done with alcohol.
35:00I'm going to do away with it for the next 30 days.
35:03Yes.
35:04That's a start.
35:05That's a start, right?
35:08I'm, uh...
35:09I agreed to go 30 days, too.
35:12Oh, wow.
35:13Hey!
35:14Got you back on that.
35:15He didn't tell us that.
35:17How about we all go 30 days?
35:19No.
35:19I will, too.
35:2030 days?
35:2130 days.
35:2330 days.
35:24They are making breakfast!
35:27After being in this house for the past few days, I've noticed that LaKilla's children
35:32have not been going to school.
35:34If Carrie's going to own her position as the lady of the house, she needs to address this
35:40head-on.
35:41Ms. Carrie, is there anything you need to share with Ms. Killa?
35:45Killa, I wrote you a letter last night.
35:47I have to be honest, Killa, in my observation of you and the children, I would like you to
35:52see them in school.
35:54Okay.
35:56So, can I speak?
35:57Absolutely.
35:58Oh, okay.
35:59They're not in school.
36:01They like doing homeschooling.
36:02So...
36:03Now, do you have a homeschool curriculum that you're using with them?
36:07Yes.
36:08Uh-huh.
36:09Okay.
36:10Don't hear this as an attack.
36:12We're trying to create a new...
36:14It's not an attack.
36:14It's just like, I could have been handling the rest of my business to make sure my stuff
36:18be done today, instead of sitting here listening to a bunch of bullcrap.
36:22That's how I honestly feel.
36:24I feel like I done wasted my time.
36:26Okay?
36:26You can leave at any moment.
36:27That's what I was just about to tell you.
36:28That I'm actually about to leave.
36:29Okay.
36:36Whenever there's healing going on in a family, chances are there's going to be one person,
36:44one hold out, one place in the group that is not going to be receptive to the healing
36:55that's going on.
36:56Don't let that stop you.
36:58Don't let that stop you.
37:00Chances are that person is holding the energy of the collective consciousness, meaning that
37:08that person is holding the secret thoughts that everyone in the group may have and still
37:16doesn't have the courage to speak.
37:18But don't let it stop you.
37:25We are unpacking my time with Ms. Carrie and Uncle Pumpkin so that you can do the work,
37:30too.
37:32So it's day two here in Maryland.
37:35I'm working with a family in deep, deep crisis and turmoil, but I'm hopeful.
37:45In the village, sometimes some people choose not to participate.
37:52People can only do what they can do.
37:55We've got to support her in doing and being better.
37:58And tolerating bad behavior is not the way we help people do better.
38:04Yeah.
38:05I didn't come here to do therapy.
38:07I came here to address a problem.
38:10Okay, Mr. Jamal?
38:12I'm going to ask you to stand and voice your commitment to this family for moving forward.
38:18My commitment for going forward is definitely respect what respect is due.
38:24Hold that thought.
38:25Come here, Aunt Carrie.
38:26Come here.
38:27Let me just do this one last little piece of business.
38:30Look at this baby.
38:32It's baby.
38:38It's okay.
38:39I love you.
38:40I love you, Mom.
38:41I love you, too.
38:43I want to start with you.
38:44Look at him.
38:45Repeat after me.
38:46I am so, so sorry.
38:48I'm so sorry.
38:50I let my pain.
38:52I let my pain.
38:53I let my pain.
38:53Poison our relationship.
38:55Poison our relationship.
38:57Please forgive me.
38:59I do.
39:00Aw.
39:02Love you.
39:03Love you, too.
39:04Love you, too.
39:04Love you, too.
39:06Aw.
39:06Yesterday, Miss Carrie had one foot out the door, but today, she is standing in her position
39:13as lady of the house.
39:15I'm so thankful that my husband, the way he, the courage was so...
39:21Was it sexy?
39:22I was not sexy.
39:26Honey, that was a turn on.
39:28Oh!
39:31I am happy.
39:32I have to thank you so much.
39:34You have given me the tools that I'm going to need in order to bring about a positive change
39:41in the family here.
39:42And I think we're going to be doing a lot better.
39:44Yeah.
39:45Thank you, Miss Carrie.
39:47Awesome.
39:48First of all, let me do one thing before I go.
39:51Oh, oh, oh.
39:53Oh!
39:54Hey!
39:56I'm going to take my sign.
39:59When I started here yesterday, I have to tell you that for the first time in 30 years
40:05that I've been doing this work, 30 years, I wept with sorrow at the death of the pain
40:12and suffering that I saw.
40:14Now my heart weeps with joy that the fish got ahead.
40:20My work here is done.
40:22I feel good.
40:23Can we get a hug?
40:23I feel good.
40:23I feel good.
40:24I feel good.
40:26I feel good.
40:26I feel good.
40:28Are you getting this?
40:30Did you get it?
40:31I mean, are you really getting that this could be your turning point?
40:37You do not need a house full of people to see and feel the truth.
40:42You simply need the courage and willingness to choose order over disorder.
40:49If you're ready to do that, go to Oprah.com and download the Fix It workbook.
40:56The fix has always been your faith, your inner knowing, and your expression of love when you give yourself permission
41:06to feel it and speak it.
41:08So take a breath.
41:11Make the choice to bring your house into order and recognize that it's time to do your work.
41:19And take a breath.
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