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00:05What's up, world?
00:06It's time to get raw, like sushi.
00:10So, strap in, because anything could happen.
00:14Which one is the one I like?
00:17I need my glasses.
00:19Michelle Williams' living room is nice.
00:22Let the dog choose, Judge Mathis.
00:30Give us some personal space, Drew Barrymore.
00:33Uh, Reggie, this is actually totally anathema to my method,
00:37but we have been in the house a lot.
00:39Do you think you're gonna do anything today?
00:41Give me a break, I'm just having a lazy Saturday morning.
00:44It's Monday afternoon.
00:46Ooh, this is my favorite Sky Resi commercial.
00:49The fall and rise of Reggie Dickens.
01:03No, I don't know what we're getting ready for,
01:05but she took a big swing with her earrings today,
01:08so clearly something is going on.
01:10Big call today.
01:12Brook & Zoig is a condiment company
01:14that was trying to break into the U.S. markets
01:16at the height of Reggie's fame,
01:18so they signed him to a 20-year contract
01:20thanks to a certain someone.
01:24It was me, is that clear?
01:26When I crave bitter protein,
01:28the only sour hearing spread Reggie Dickens reaches for is...
01:32Brook & Zoig's Muscle Jalay.
01:33Put it on your cabbage!
01:35His, uh, scandal broke right after we signed the deal,
01:38which wasn't great,
01:39but I'm still hoping I can convince them to re-up.
01:42Gert!
01:43Monika, it is good to hear from you.
01:45This is a wonderful blamash of Langenheit for us.
01:48Wonderful?
01:49That's great!
01:50I was a little worried.
01:51No, you should be worried.
01:52This word means shame opportunity.
01:55This call is for bad news.
01:56Oh, okay.
01:58Wait, hear me out.
01:58I am sorry,
01:59but this deal is like the American discotheque scene.
02:02Dead.
02:02Oh, wait.
02:03Okay, hold on.
02:04Hey!
02:05The Brook & Zoig guys said they wanted to see your face
02:07when they told you.
02:08They're sick.
02:09Danke, Ashley.
02:10Peter Shawn, boys.
02:15What's up, XC?
02:17You done with those German dudes already?
02:19Bad news, Reg.
02:20Muscular delay declined to renew.
02:23So now I gotta buy it?
02:25Hey, baby.
02:26You wanna come to the spa with me?
02:29Sounds tempting, but I'm good.
02:31Are you sure?
02:32I would love to explore your physical body on film.
02:35Why did I say it like that?
02:37I just mean because you're an athlete.
02:38I'm aware of the effect I have on you,
02:40but yeah, I'm just gonna stay in today.
02:44How about you, Monica?
02:45She can't.
02:46She's slammed today.
02:47She's got this all-day negotiation with some Germans.
02:50Then she's bringing congratulations balloons to...
02:54Ruggy?
02:56Okay, I'm aware that Ashley is not good at her job,
03:00but I hired her because she's a Neppo baby.
03:02And now I can't remember whose.
03:05There are so many famous Joneses.
03:08Tommy Lee, James Earl, Tom, Quincy, Star,
03:14Catherine Zeta.
03:15I know she doesn't remember who my parents are.
03:17And I'm not telling.
03:19Come on, Monica.
03:20We like never get any girl time.
03:23Well, I did tell myself I tried to make more time
03:26for being an actual person.
03:28Okay, let's go.
03:30Are we going out?
03:32I'll go out.
03:33I mean, it is Friday night, right?
03:35No, it's not.
03:36It is crazy that nobody knows what that is.
03:40Ooh, there is MVP Carmelo Anthony Mason-Dinkins
03:46in the house.
03:48It gets real exciting when we win.
03:50And I scored two touchdowns against Blair on Friday.
03:53Whose house?
03:54My house.
03:56And I'm so proud of my son who also lives here
03:59every other week because I share custody.
04:03So, you had a game on Friday?
04:05Yep.
04:05You were home all day Friday watching that ridiculous firefighting show.
04:09FDNY Chicago.
04:10And it's great.
04:12In the New York Fire Department there is a special unit
04:14that fights fires in Chicago.
04:16These are their stories.
04:18Hey, I'm walking here in Chicago.
04:21Why weren't you at your son's game?
04:23I would have loved to get that footage.
04:26Uh, a lot of the parents are Jets fans
04:29and they still haven't forgiven Dad
04:31for blowing their shot at the Super Bowl.
04:33It would have been a distraction if I would have went.
04:36But me and Carmelo, we watched the tapes afterwards.
04:38We call it football cuddle time.
04:41Yeah, one of us does.
04:43You're gonna love this place.
04:44So fancy.
04:45I reserved the whole spa for the day
04:48so the cameras could come in.
04:49You can get petties too, boys.
04:51I'm back!
04:53She bought out the whole spa.
04:55How much did that cost?
04:57That's crazy.
04:59Couldn't agree more, girl.
05:01I don't love talking about this,
05:02but I produce what my doctor calls
05:04a dangerous amount of earwax.
05:06So I'm just nodding and agreeing
05:08until I get it taken care of.
05:10Wow, so you can't hear anything.
05:11Oh my God, I love that.
05:15Hi, Kiki.
05:19Wait, is this a spa?
05:20Do you guys do ear candling?
05:23Okay, Penny.
05:23We want the works.
05:25Body rack.
05:25That robe has her name on it.
05:27How often do you think she comes here?
05:30Absolutely everybody.
05:32IV infusions.
05:33That thing where an old man takes out his dentures
05:35and gently bites you.
05:36Oh, let's not go nuts here.
05:38Don't worry, Monica.
05:40It's my treat.
05:41Brina's a sweet girl, but my treat?
05:43I think she meant Reggie's treat,
05:45which is actually my treat,
05:46because I'm the one who actually...
05:48Okay, I guess she did say my treat,
05:50but she should have said your treat.
05:51Can I start over?
05:53Reggie, why don't you ever leave the house?
05:55What are you talking about?
05:57I go out all the time.
05:59I took you to my favorite spot.
06:00Welcome to my home away from home.
06:03Really? An homage bakery?
06:05Yeah, Yoda got the heaviest bread in central Pennsylvania.
06:08And the toys are mad unpainted.
06:12Right, Yoda?
06:13Tis a gift to be simple.
06:15Aw, hell yeah!
06:16You drive three hours to a bakery in Amish country.
06:19Word.
06:19A people famous for not interacting with the outside world.
06:22Yoda is my boy.
06:23Which means they're probably the only people in America
06:24who don't know who you are.
06:26Maybe...
06:26I think that the reason you don't leave the house
06:29or go to Carmelo's matches
06:31or go to the mall to meet Lightning McQueen
06:33even though you clearly wanted to...
06:35I ain't go because Cars 3 was a cash grab.
06:39Reggie, I think you're afraid to face the outside world.
06:43You buggin' man.
06:45It's just really not much to do in the greater New York area.
06:48Well, let's find something to do then, Reggie.
06:51Look, let's have a...
06:53Oh, hey, look at that.
06:55Perfect.
06:55A documentary film festival at Lincoln Center.
06:58Yawn!
06:59Rude.
06:59What else?
07:00There is an exhibit of Adrian Brody's art.
07:02Oh, good God, no.
07:03Right.
07:03You know what?
07:04I read a 2004 interview with you in Playboy magazine.
07:08Sure you did, you dog.
07:10And in it you said that your favorite place to eat
07:12was a restaurant called Toshi's right here in New Jersey.
07:15Toshi's?
07:16Oh, yeah.
07:18The place burned out.
07:19Really?
07:20Because I got us a reservation there in 30 minutes.
07:23Cool.
07:25It's great.
07:25They love me at that place.
07:27They even got my picture on the wall.
07:29Wait a minute.
07:30What happened to my picture?
07:31I'm sorry about you, Dinkins.
07:32It's just people kept throwing eel at it.
07:34Yo, Dinkins!
07:35You suck!
07:36You suck!
07:37No, I don't!
07:38I do the opposite!
07:40I blow!
07:41No, no, I don't!
07:43It's terrible!
07:43Don't put that in the documentary.
07:45Oh!
07:45Let's go.
07:46Let's leave this place.
07:47I don't like it no more.
07:49Yo, Reggie!
07:50What's your little movie called?
07:51I'm a loser?
07:52We don't have a tattoo yet!
07:57Nice car!
07:59I'm not being sarcastic!
08:04No, no, No, no!
08:05Your shoulders are like three inches lower!
08:07Right?
08:08I have so much neck right now.
08:10Jasper, you guys stop screaming!
08:12Yes, the spa had ear candling.
08:14My ears are so clear now, I can hear everything.
08:18Either we live by a new river, or I can hear my blood.
08:21It's like...
08:29Lick, lick, girly pop. My heart is here.
08:32Oh, I'm getting...
08:33All right, I'll set up the camera. I know the drill.
08:36High angle, no flash, bag on my head during fit changes.
08:40Rina's out of control. I gotta talk to her.
08:44Oh, don't tell me to calm down, Pally.
08:46The beans on fire, and this pizza's in a deeper dish than I'm used to.
08:50Hey, I'm watching here!
08:52We need to talk about Toshis.
08:55What do you want me to say?
08:57That you're right?
08:58That I do hide from the world because I'm afraid of what people might say to me?
09:02That I can't feel happy unless I think everyone loves me?
09:05Is that what you want?
09:06Yes, wow, exactly that.
09:08Great. Turn the TV back on.
09:09The guys don't know it's central time, so they might be early to the fire.
09:14How do you expect people to root for you again if all they see is you hiding in a mansion?
09:19It's aspirational.
09:20Reggie, you are gonna need to get out there and make an effort to earn people's forgiveness.
09:25The only way out is through.
09:29Which one of you guys is Reggie? I've got residual checks for him to sign.
09:32Oh, can you wait one minute?
09:34Perfect timing, Ashley. You're doing a great job.
09:35I did a kid's movie in the early 2000s.
09:38It was like Space Jam, but with football and universal IP.
09:42It's a day game, so Dracula is not here.
09:46There's no full moon, so the Wolfman is just a dude.
09:49And who knows where the Invisible Man is?
09:52It's just us Frankenstein's monster.
09:54So let's get fired up!
09:56Fire?
09:57Fire bad!
10:02Oh my god, I recognize you.
10:05Yeah, Ashley, we met last week.
10:07You kept calling me Paddington.
10:08That's so funny.
10:10But no, I recognize, recognize you.
10:12It's too many tennis balls!
10:14This movie makes no sense!
10:17That's you.
10:17Wait, no, um, how have you seen that?
10:21The internet?
10:22Uh, they promised it wouldn't get out.
10:29Nerds around the world have been asking when they'd finally see Marvel's Professor Squeeze on the big screen.
10:35Well, recently leaked footage from the IDK agency hack shows that the original director just couldn't hack it.
10:42This tennis ball is a CGI time machine and it's gonna take me back to before I knew any of
10:48you f***ing f***ed.
10:50This whole thing is beneath me, you know!
10:52Jesus, guys.
10:56Ooh, slay, slay!
10:59Oh, another one in selfie mode Rusty, come on.
11:02It wasn't on purpose, okay.
11:04I have wide thumbs.
11:05Just like Megan Foxx.
11:06And you know who else?
11:07A lot of historical stranglers.
11:09Rusty.
11:10Can we have some privacy?
11:12Of course.
11:17What's up?
11:18Brina, listen.
11:20I got a big sister you hear of it.
11:23Sister, how would that work?
11:24You're so much older than me.
11:26Auntie, then, whatever.
11:29Listen, I know that the lifestyle is a big part of all of this for you,
11:33but it can't be your whole life.
11:36I'm sorry?
11:38Back in the day, I knew a lot of the players, wives, and girlfriends,
11:41and I was the only one with a plan.
11:44Okay, Monica, hold on.
11:46Those women just define themselves by their man and his money,
11:50and then they turn around one day and realize they don't have a life of their own.
11:54So you think I'm a gold digger?
11:56No, no, no.
11:58No, I just think you should have a plan of your own,
12:01other than being a famous singer.
12:03For your information, I do have a plan.
12:05I made $120,000 last year.
12:10Doing what?
12:12Content.
12:13And that money is on top of all the free stuff I get for plugging it on my socials,
12:18like the clothes or that spa I took you to.
12:22You're welcome, by the way.
12:23Oh, come on.
12:24I saw your Instagram.
12:26You only have 40 followers.
12:27That's my private Insta.
12:29Yeah, she's also Queen Bree the Beauty baddie.
12:32I mean, where have you been?
12:35323,000 followers.
12:36Rusty.
12:37Why didn't you say anything earlier?
12:39At the spa, you agreed she needed to get a life.
12:41Well, I don't think so.
12:43Okay, please do not gaslight me.
12:45You sound crazy.
12:47Good talk, Monica.
12:48But some of us have work to do.
12:53Oh, my God.
12:55An unqualified white guy gets a job he doesn't deserve and then poops the bed.
12:59The only unpredictable part is that he actually got fired.
13:03Roll credits.
13:03Hey, Mr. Tobin.
13:05My art teacher was telling me about this documentary festival happening in the city.
13:09Oh, yes, at Lincoln Center.
13:10Yeah.
13:11You know, I actually premiered my first ever short there, Y2KKK.
13:15It won what at the time was known as the Brett Ratner Award.
13:18Well, if I go, I get extra credit.
13:20And if I go with you, I get a ride.
13:22Oh, um, oh, no.
13:25Um, no, I can't.
13:27I don't want to.
13:29But, I mean, it would be super cool to go with you.
13:31I mean, I bet you know everyone there, right?
13:33Yeah.
13:35Yeah.
13:36Um, here's the thing, though.
13:38I am following your dad right now.
13:40And he won't leave the house.
13:41So, neither can I.
13:44Yes, where he goes, I go.
13:48Otherwise, I would love to go with you.
13:50Believe me.
13:56So, if you thought yesterday was Saturday, you should take Sunday's pills today,
14:00even though it's Tuesday, which means on real Saturdays...
14:02Blast the gizmo!
14:04Brina, how do you take tickets off a phone and turn them into real hand tickets?
14:09Oh, I got this.
14:12Oh, good job downloading the tickets, baby.
14:15I'm just going to take Monday.
14:18It's just, why is everyone watching everyone but no one's watching me?
14:23You know, I can do stuff, too.
14:25You know, it's like...
14:32I don't know how I'm going to fight this fire.
14:34I checked my hose at JFK, but they lost it at O'Hare.
14:37This is actually quite compelling.
14:39It was clever how they couldn't find the subway fire because the train was above ground.
14:45Oh!
14:46I was thinking of doing something different tonight.
14:49Maybe going into the city.
14:51What?
14:51No.
14:53You're not going to a city full of Jets fans.
14:55Or are they?
14:57This evening, I will be attending the Lincoln Center Documentary Film Festival.
15:02And you said, wherever I go, you go.
15:07So, let's go.
15:10Grab, I see what you're doing.
15:12That film festival crowd won't have any idea who you are, but they'll all know who I am.
15:15You have hoist me, sir, by my own petard.
15:18Hey, I know people were saying that word again.
15:21I just don't like hearing it in this house.
15:25When Arthur Tobin sees how bad it feels, that little turd will shut up for good about me leaving the
15:30house.
15:31I'm right here, and that's not true.
15:34Oh, yeah?
15:34Kind of seems like you're dragging your feet by doing a whole separate interview about it.
15:37We were just talking over there.
15:40Okay, fine.
15:41You win.
15:41I'll go get changed.
15:42I was going to say, I'd be embarrassed to walk in with that.
15:45Okay.
15:49Oh, hi, Monica.
15:51You got more thoughts on how I should handle my business?
15:54No.
15:55Actually, this one's personal.
15:58Brina, you look like a black Jessica Rabbit.
16:00I'll allow it.
16:01Continue.
16:01And maybe that's why I didn't take you seriously.
16:05But at your age, looking like that, with your own money, why are you with Reggie?
16:12Why am I with a man that you thought was good enough to marry and father your child?
16:17Wow.
16:17Monica.
16:18I know.
16:19I know.
16:19But when I was with Reggie, he was on Wheaties Boxes.
16:23We were out partying every night with Will Smith.
16:26Who?
16:26Now, he's watching network dramas in the morning.
16:29I saw him yell, Siri, potato, at the microwave.
16:33What does that have to do with me loving Reggie?
16:35He is the sweetest man I've ever met.
16:38And I tried dating ballers my own age.
16:41My last boyfriend was a prank YouTuber.
16:48Girlfriend snake drop!
16:51But Reggie's just nice.
16:53He calls his mom every morning.
16:55I'm the toilet on speaker.
16:56But yeah, Reggie's easy to love.
17:00But the age gap.
17:02It's kind of nice.
17:03We only have sex twice a week.
17:05And on Halloween.
17:06And I like it.
17:07And unlike clout demons like Dr. Freak, Reggie's not threatened by my success.
17:12I just got an offer to be the new Brandon Bass for Gut Row.
17:15It's a probiotic toilet paper.
17:17And Reggie was all, you get that doodle money, baby.
17:20Wow.
17:22Congratulations.
17:23And that's a good Reggie.
17:25Right?
17:26I just got to sign the contract.
17:28But I can't do DocuSign with these nails.
17:31Ooh, can I use your finger to do it?
17:33I just got to scroll to the bottom.
17:36Wait.
17:37You read this, right?
17:38It's not the Bible or a street sign.
17:40Okay, I'm sorry.
17:41But I do have more thoughts on how you handle your business.
17:52Remember, you're the one that didn't just want to hide in the mansion.
17:56Oh my God, is that Arthur Tobin?
18:00For him to show up here would be a greater humiliation than what Antonio suffers at the end of a
18:05bicycle thief.
18:10Why do you even have this?
18:11I take tennis lessons in Central Park with a nice young man who grew up in the Caribbean.
18:17How we've treated those countries.
18:19Hey, you suck.
18:21I am as God made me, sir.
18:23I'm not talking to you.
18:24I'm talking to Dinkins.
18:26You suck.
18:27Yeah, you suck.
18:32You suck.
18:34Are you the guy from Toshi's?
18:36What the hell are you doing here?
18:37Oh, you should have paid more attention to what you were booking tickets for.
18:43Oh, you thought you could escape us by coming to a classy deal like this.
18:49Nah, man.
18:51Guys like me, we're everywhere.
18:54Like this guy.
18:55I didn't hear what he said, but you suck, Dinkins.
18:59And you can run?
19:00Not really.
19:01But you can't hide.
19:03There's a lot of us.
19:05And we don't like to go home.
19:06All right.
19:07Can we go now, please?
19:08We've both been hoisted by doubles petards, and this woman is still talking about colonialism in the Caribbean.
19:13To have that cheerful attitude after all they've been through.
19:20No.
19:22That Jeff Pan isn't wrong.
19:24Even the Amish bakery isn't always safe.
19:27Wow.
19:28Reggie frickin' Dinkins.
19:31You suck.
19:32You suck.
19:33And sitting around watching high-quality network programming all day
19:37isn't living.
19:39So either I don't live a life,
19:41or learn to deal with this.
19:44So,
19:45I'm going to take your advice.
19:48Are you?
19:52The only way out is through.
20:06Gut Roll may sell the content provider's likeness to third parties for use in porn, dolls, or army.
20:12No, that's got to go.
20:14Look, this is all standard language.
20:16Well, there is nothing standard about this content provider.
20:18Do not underestimate her just because of her youth and the fact that she majored in sorority.
20:24Other people have made that mistake.
20:26They did not take the time to find out who Queen Bree really is.
20:31Was that Monica apologizing for calling me a gold digger?
20:36I'll take it.
20:38Oh, God, snake!
20:40Hey, you'd be lucky to have her.
20:41Sorry, I didn't know you were going to do a whole speech.
20:43It's two in the morning here in Belarus.
20:45Just red line whatever and we'll sign it.
20:52That sucked.
20:54I didn't even understand what your people were yelling at you.
20:58Nor I yours to you.
21:00But I could tell it hurt.
21:02By my crying, yes.
21:07But,
21:09it didn't kill us.
21:11No,
21:12I don't think it did.
21:17Is that your car?
21:18I need to get to JFK.
21:19There's a fire in Chicago.
21:22They're real!
21:27Roll credits.
21:29Good night, everybody.
21:30Good night.
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