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00:00:051, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10
00:00:29Great darts
00:00:30Now where are you? He's coming back on
00:00:38Welcome back to the World Darts Championship
00:00:40In this cricket match, Smith and Henriksen have closed the 20s through the 15s
00:00:44and have two bullseyes
00:00:45They're also ahead by 20 points
00:00:48Whitman and Keyes have closed the 20s through the 15s
00:00:51and have one bullseye
00:00:52Alistair Whitman is going to need three bullseyes to win the first televised world championship
00:01:01And he's really going to have to hit three
00:01:03because Henriksen has been hammering the bullseye all night
00:01:06Well, if anybody can get a hat trick, it's Alistair Whitman
00:01:17Oh, that all but ends the match
00:01:20He has to hit a double bullseye to win
00:01:22and he's completely blocked it
00:01:24By engraving Smith and Henriksen on the trophy
00:01:51Women and Keyes have won the world championship
00:01:53I am Godsmack
00:01:55How did he do that?
00:01:56It's not human, I tell you
00:01:57Somebody get down there and stop the engraver
00:01:59That is the greatest closing door in the history of this game
00:02:02Grown by the greatest player in the history of this game
00:02:05That's for you, weirdo mittens
00:02:08Weirdo mittens
00:02:33You were not in the CIA
00:02:35Yes, I was, I was in Berlin when the wall came down
00:02:38You think that happened by itself?
00:02:40You're so full of shit, Birch
00:02:42All right, showtime, Mitch
00:02:55All right, all right
00:02:56You got this, Hank
00:02:58Only needs one bullseye to win
00:03:00Are you crazy?
00:03:01He hasn't hit a bullseye all night
00:03:03No way
00:03:03Well, I'm willing to bet you double or nothing on your bar tab
00:03:05He's going to hit one right now
00:03:06Oh, you're on
00:03:08All right
00:03:10You're due
00:03:11One bullseye, okay?
00:03:13You got this, baby
00:03:31One bullseye, okay?
00:03:51what in the hell were you aiming at what do you think how the hell am i supposed to know
00:03:56you hit literally every other damn thing in the room except the bullseye
00:04:00you know hank that happens again the rules say that if you catch the dart before it hits the
00:04:07floor you can shoot it again thanks have you ever caught a dart that bounced off the board
00:04:12no have you ever seen anybody catch a dart that bounced off the board no have you ever even heard
00:04:18a story about someone catching a dart that bounced off the board no thanks that's great advice
00:04:24i'm trying to be cute hank now i'm gonna kick your ass
00:04:28all right dude you got this come on
00:04:33showtime baby showtime
00:04:37drinks
00:04:55hey thanks for the drinks our pleasure anytime
00:05:00showtime
00:05:14that loss drops us number eight in the standings one more and we're right at the playoffs yeah
00:05:19dana was right i didn't hit a bull all night
00:05:21no bro you just gotta learn how to close the game well it doesn't help with you betting the
00:05:26whole tab on the match can we afford that i know i should have made a disclaimer like only their
00:05:32drinks like we couldn't buy for ian and virgil too but i'm an idiot sorry
00:05:42oh johnny ray he's just a good friend dude what are you doing
00:05:48is that about jackie yeah i just couldn't think of a song with jackie in it
00:05:53was that supposed to be come on eileen it's nowhere near the lyrics dude it's not about the song hank
00:05:59what i'm talking about here is closing the deal you only live once bro yeah okay when's the last time
00:06:05you went on a date i've dated most of those around here i've just run out of options it's a
00:06:11small
00:06:11town i'm gonna die alone you one of their hands shut up dude
00:06:18all right damn beat i know
00:06:23i'm never playing them again i'm done i hate them
00:06:26it's so stupid you know next time baby don't worry about it show time new show time hey hey
00:06:34diddle for the middle see who opens in the morning too
00:06:46i'm gonna have a good night man
00:06:49you
00:07:13Hey, Jackie.
00:07:14Hi, Hank.
00:07:16How was the match last night?
00:07:18Tough one, huh?
00:07:19We'll bounce back.
00:07:21You want something?
00:07:22Yeah, just some flights, I guess.
00:07:24What do those ones say on them?
00:07:26These?
00:07:26The ones next to them.
00:07:29Foxy Mama.
00:07:31It's funny, because I was going to ask,
00:07:33have you ever had one before?
00:07:37Um, no.
00:07:39Really?
00:07:40They're kind of awesome.
00:07:41In fact, you should come by the bar sometime.
00:07:43We could have one together.
00:07:45Yeah, I really don't think that's going to be my thing.
00:07:48Come on, you can at least try one.
00:07:50I think you'll like it, and if for some reason you don't,
00:07:52I'll get you something else.
00:07:55What the hell are you talking about, Hank?
00:07:57What do you mean?
00:08:02Oh, okay.
00:08:03Hey, ah, oh my God.
00:08:05I thought you said, um, Bahama Mama, like the drink.
00:08:08Ah, okay, yeah.
00:08:10That makes way more sense.
00:08:11I was like, if she wants to share a Foxy Mama with me,
00:08:15have we met?
00:08:16No.
00:08:16Um, sorry, it's in my head I heard Bahama Mama.
00:08:19I've been making drinks way too long.
00:08:21You still want them?
00:08:23Yeah, I got to get them now, right?
00:08:25It's two bucks?
00:08:26Don't even worry about it.
00:08:27These are on me.
00:08:29Really?
00:08:30You come in here almost every day and buy something.
00:08:32I think I could let this slide.
00:08:34Oh, thanks.
00:08:36You're welcome.
00:08:40Um, I got to get back to work, but thanks again.
00:08:47And, seriously, if you want to come by the bar one night,
00:08:51I'll make us a couple of Bahama Mamas.
00:08:54Maybe it'll be your thing.
00:08:56I might just take you up on that.
00:09:01I'll see you up.
00:09:09Hey, Hank, you still haven't gotten my latest check
00:09:12from when I produced Back to the Future,
00:09:14and I was wondering...
00:09:15You did not produce that movie.
00:09:16Yes, I did.
00:09:17No, you didn't.
00:09:18I looked it up.
00:09:19Yes, I did.
00:09:20I'm the one who told Bob to use a DeLorean.
00:09:23Do you know what the time machine was before that?
00:09:25A refrigerator.
00:09:27How bad would that movie have sucked
00:09:29if they used a refrigerator?
00:09:30Then how come you're not on IMDb?
00:09:32Because I'm the uncredited guy behind the scenes.
00:09:35My ass.
00:09:37You're a very kind young man.
00:09:48Hey, Ian, can I please bum off?
00:09:50Piss off.
00:09:51Here, Virgil.
00:09:52Someone left us here.
00:09:55Thanks, buddy.
00:09:55One of these days.
00:09:56No worries.
00:09:59All right.
00:09:59Another rusty deal.
00:10:00Make it a double.
00:10:08Bro, this is pathetic.
00:10:11We need to do a ladies' night or something.
00:10:13We've had three.
00:10:15I've been wanting to do karaoke night, though.
00:10:16That could be cool.
00:10:17Yeah, that could be cool.
00:10:18But we need something.
00:10:20Something big.
00:10:21Something different.
00:10:23Some way to get people in here.
00:10:24Hey, real people.
00:10:26Ah.
00:10:27We gotta think outside the box.
00:10:32Let's, uh, let's go work on your bullseyes
00:10:34and we'll try to come up with an idea.
00:10:35We'll try to do a loop.
00:10:36Let's go.
00:10:40anh.
00:10:54Oh, boy.
00:10:57Uh.
00:10:59Oh, boy.
00:11:14See, I can hit the 20s through 15s all day.
00:11:17When it comes to the bullseye, I have some kind of mental block.
00:11:20Rusty nail!
00:11:21One minute, Ian.
00:11:21Don't think about it.
00:11:22Just try throwing the dart as fast as you can without thinking.
00:11:29Crap.
00:11:30Still waiting on that drink, Hank!
00:11:32Yeah, Ian, one second.
00:11:33That's...
00:11:34That was better.
00:11:35I don't know.
00:11:37Move your stance a little bit, okay?
00:11:40Try throwing from a different angle.
00:11:41Switch things up that don't think about.
00:11:43Jesus Christ, give me those things, would you, before you hurt yourself?
00:11:45Wait.
00:11:47Back me somewhere.
00:11:54Rusty nail!
00:11:55Now!
00:12:00What the fuck?
00:12:13Is it two doubles in the one?
00:12:16Is it five bulls?
00:12:18Five.
00:12:18It was two doubles in the one, wasn't it?
00:12:20That was amazing.
00:12:21Here.
00:12:23Yeah.
00:12:24How'd you do that?
00:12:25Here.
00:12:26On the house.
00:12:28How'd I do that?
00:12:29I imagine the bullseye was your face.
00:12:31Okay.
00:12:32You want to throw a game with us?
00:12:33No.
00:12:34Why not?
00:12:35Because you're idiots.
00:12:36Whoa.
00:12:37Who do you call an idiot?
00:12:38I've sat here and watched you guys throw hundreds of games, and you suck ass.
00:12:42I'd rather throw darts in my own nuts.
00:12:45We're not idiots, are we?
00:12:47No.
00:12:48He's an asshole.
00:12:49Hey, turn this up, would you?
00:12:53Oh, what?
00:12:54Oh, Hank, with sugar and cinnamon and whatever the hell else you like, would you please turn
00:13:00this up?
00:13:03You could write a children's book.
00:13:05Hi, I'm Dirk McIntyre, and I'm standing outside Uptown Social with Nicky and Lance Gallium,
00:13:09the brother duo from Manchester, England, who some believe are the greatest to ever play
00:13:13the game of darts.
00:13:14They're here in Chicago to play for their 10th World Darts Championship, first time it's
00:13:17ever been held in our country.
00:13:19Welcome to America, gentlemen.
00:13:20Yeah, we're here to play some team from some place for the World Championship.
00:13:25Who gives a cock?
00:13:26Gentlemen, I need to remind you that we are on national television.
00:13:29Oh, so sorry.
00:13:31In that case, f***.
00:13:37So, you're playing the American champs Jules the Dutch Dragon Van Dongen and Chuck Pipes
00:13:42Puglio for your 10th World title.
00:13:44Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:13:44Dutch oven and the pips.
00:13:45We played them 100 times in every different format, and we're 100 now.
00:13:50It's embarrassing, honestly.
00:13:52We're embarrassed for the entire nation.
00:13:54But it would tie you with the legendary Alistair Whitman.
00:13:58F*** him the f***ing wank.
00:13:59Again, national television.
00:14:01And he is considered to be the greatest art player that's ever lived.
00:14:04In fact, didn't he come out of retirement to beat U2 for the Manchester Cup?
00:14:08What the f*** would you bring that up for?
00:14:09He couldn't carry me f***ing sack him.
00:14:12We're the best that's ever been, and that's a f***ing f***.
00:14:14So you've been in town for a while, and the rumor is that it's not just to tune up for
00:14:18the big match.
00:14:19We're here to record our first f***ing album.
00:14:22So the rumor's confirmed.
00:14:24Is there anything you can tell us about the record?
00:14:26All you need to know, friend, is it's going to be the best f***ing thing you've ever f***ed heard in
00:14:32your own miserable goddamn life.
00:14:34Gotcha.
00:14:35Do you have a name for this upcoming record?
00:14:37No, we don't have a f***ing title yet.
00:14:38It doesn't f***ing matter, does it?
00:14:40It's going to be the biggest f***ing thing ever.
00:14:43I'm sure it will be.
00:14:44Is there anything you want to say to Jules and Chuck before the match?
00:14:47Yeah, yeah.
00:14:48F*** you, you f***ing tossers, all right?
00:14:51You f***ing f***er brains.
00:14:55So, f***.
00:14:57Understood.
00:14:59And fellas, before you go, I gotta ask.
00:15:01It's nighttime.
00:15:02Why are you two wearing sunglasses?
00:15:03Why did you?
00:15:04I'm about to punch you in the face right now.
00:15:06We have daytime sunnies, nighttime sunnies, rock and roll sunnies, and dark throwing sunnies.
00:15:11And we never, ever take off our sunnies.
00:15:15Do you even have sleeping sunglasses?
00:15:19F*** yeah!
00:15:20Yeah!
00:15:25What a great couple of guys.
00:15:26Well, the best two out of three World Darts Championship match will be broadcast here from Uptown Social live tomorrow
00:15:32night in Chicago.
00:15:33You won't want to miss it.
00:15:34What's his problem?
00:15:35Who gives a s***?
00:15:36Dude, we should go in the city and watch this match tomorrow night.
00:15:39Hell yeah, I'm down.
00:15:40All right.
00:15:41Ooh.
00:15:42Who's gonna watch the bar?
00:15:45Eh, ditto for the middle.
00:15:47Heh.
00:16:12Hey, you made it.
00:16:13I couldn't go another day without trying a Bahama Mama.
00:16:17Coming right up.
00:16:19I'm gonna take a beer and a whiskey neat.
00:16:23Showtime, baby!
00:16:25Showtime!
00:16:26Showtime!
00:16:27Showtime!
00:16:27Hey, buddy!
00:16:28Where's Hank?
00:16:30Hey, how about later we'll play for tonight's bar tab, too?
00:16:34Showtime, baby!
00:16:36Showtime!
00:16:37Showtime!
00:16:37You two have to get tired of being you, too.
00:16:41No.
00:16:41No.
00:16:44There you are.
00:16:46Cheers.
00:16:47Cheers.
00:16:53That is really good.
00:16:54I told you.
00:16:56How are those flights treating you?
00:16:58They were good.
00:16:59Um, not Bahama Mama good, but they're not bad.
00:17:03Yeah, I-I came by last night, and...
00:17:05You were here?
00:17:06Only for a second.
00:17:07You were throwing, and I didn't want to bother.
00:17:09No, no, no.
00:17:09You should have said something.
00:17:11I was, um...
00:17:12I was looking forward to seeing you.
00:17:15Nick!
00:17:17Today's the day!
00:17:21You've always been so nice to me, and you're a very kind young man.
00:17:25I want to give you something.
00:17:27I appreciate it.
00:17:28Thank you, Virgil, but that's not necessary.
00:17:30No, no, no.
00:17:31I want to.
00:17:32You're very kind, and I hope I'm not offending you.
00:17:35No, no, no.
00:17:35You're not offending me.
00:17:36I'm-I'm just in the middle of something, so...
00:17:38Great, because you're very kind, and I want to give you something.
00:17:41Come here.
00:17:43I am here.
00:17:44No, closer.
00:17:44It's a secret.
00:17:48Closer.
00:17:51What I want to give you...
00:17:52I'm not offending you, am I?
00:17:54Oh, not-not with anything you've said.
00:17:57Good, because you're very kind.
00:17:59What I want to give you...
00:18:00It's about this big.
00:18:03And it's real.
00:18:04At least it feels real.
00:18:06I'm sure I'm not offending you.
00:18:07Um, I don't...
00:18:09I don't think so.
00:18:10I don't know.
00:18:11Well, a famous actor buddy of mine I met on Point Break.
00:18:15He gave this to me back in the 90s.
00:18:17I think he paid a fortune for it then.
00:18:19And it's real.
00:18:21Like I said, I mean, it feels real.
00:18:23And it's got real hair on it and everything.
00:18:27And I used to use it all the time.
00:18:29But I'm getting older and stuff,
00:18:31and I can't really get it going anymore.
00:18:34So now I want you to have it.
00:18:40Um, no.
00:18:41I don't-I don't think so.
00:18:43Do you understand what I'm trying to give you a hand?
00:18:45Yeah, I-I think I do, but I'm not-
00:18:47You're making a big mistake.
00:18:49This once belonged to-
00:18:50Jesus Christ, Virgil.
00:18:50No one wants your old, used, deathtrap of a pocket.
00:18:53Okay.
00:18:54Thank you, Ian.
00:18:57I'm sure you don't want it.
00:19:01Make some noise!
00:19:03Come on!
00:19:05Representing the United States of America,
00:19:08the challengers!
00:19:10Let's hear it for Jules,
00:19:12the Dutch Dragon Van Doggen,
00:19:14and Chucky Plank Paleo.
00:19:16Here it's Chucky!
00:19:18Chucky!
00:19:19Chucky!
00:19:19Jules!
00:19:21Jules!
00:19:22Jules!
00:19:23Make some noise for these guys.
00:19:24Come on, let's hear it.
00:19:26Everybody say, oh yeah!
00:19:29Hey, bet you the bar tab,
00:19:32they don't make it to a third game.
00:19:35And from Manchester, England,
00:19:38ladies and gentlemen,
00:19:39the defending nine-time world champions,
00:19:42the undisputed masters, my friends.
00:19:45They're going for the record tonight.
00:19:46They're going for number 10.
00:19:48You think they can join?
00:19:49Well, ladies and gentlemen,
00:19:50let's hear it for Nikki,
00:19:52the Manchester Maller Galleon,
00:19:54and Lance Prettybar Galleon.
00:19:57The Galleon Brothers,
00:19:58let's hear it!
00:20:04Woo!
00:20:05Woo!
00:20:09Hello, ladies and gentlemen,
00:20:11and welcome to tonight's
00:20:12World Darts Championship match.
00:20:14I'm joined in the booth
00:20:15by the one and only
00:20:16former national champion himself,
00:20:18Sean Grafton.
00:20:18Welcome aboard, Sean.
00:20:19Thanks a lot for having me, Dirk.
00:20:20Glad to be here.
00:20:21Absolutely.
00:20:22So, do you have any thoughts
00:20:24on tonight's match?
00:20:25The Americans are going to have
00:20:25a tough road ahead of them.
00:20:26The Galleon Brothers are the best team
00:20:28in the world
00:20:28and have never lost a single game
00:20:29to Jules and Chuck.
00:20:30They have a tough road indeed.
00:20:32Do you have any advice for them?
00:20:33I would tell the Americans,
00:20:34since there's a lot of bad blood
00:20:35between the two teams,
00:20:36just to relax.
00:20:37Don't let the Galleon Brothers
00:20:38get under their skin.
00:20:39Sounds like good advice.
00:20:40Well, let's go down to the Aki
00:20:42as the match is about to begin.
00:20:44Hey, do we get free drinks
00:20:45in the booth
00:20:46or do I have a free trial?
00:20:48Good luck, gentlemen.
00:20:50Shake hands and shoot well.
00:20:52Uh-huh.
00:20:52For fuck's sake.
00:20:54You two mugs again.
00:20:55America is fucking huge.
00:20:57There's got to be somebody
00:20:58better than you two
00:20:59from sea to shining sea.
00:21:01You want to beat your assholes
00:21:02and he'll decide
00:21:02if you didn't cheat.
00:21:03Who the fuck needs to cheat
00:21:04to beat you two Tarsus?
00:21:05What do you call messing around
00:21:06every time we're with the board?
00:21:07Okay, okay, fellas.
00:21:09Go back to your tables
00:21:10and let's play some darts.
00:21:14You know,
00:21:16I haven't thrown darts
00:21:17in about a month.
00:21:20This one's for your mums.
00:21:23And this one...
00:21:24He just hit a triple 20
00:21:25without even looking at the board.
00:21:27Then a triple 19.
00:21:28This last one...
00:21:28He can't possibly hit the 18s.
00:21:29You do know that too, can he?
00:21:31Oh, my God, he did it.
00:21:33He threw a white horse
00:21:34without looking.
00:21:35That's even more amazing
00:21:36than Jordan's
00:21:37no-look free throws.
00:21:39It's unbelievable.
00:21:40Where's my drink?
00:21:41That was amazing.
00:21:43I'm telling you
00:21:44they're the best ever.
00:21:49It's going to be impossible
00:21:50to overcome
00:21:50that amazing turn
00:21:51at the Aki.
00:21:54Let's go!
00:21:55We're going to be releasing
00:21:56our greatest stints album
00:21:57before you throw a dart.
00:21:59Why don't you show
00:21:59some sportmanship
00:22:00and let me take my turn?
00:22:01Hey, pull that shit again
00:22:03like you did in Germany.
00:22:03I'm going to kick your ass.
00:22:10The galleons have completely
00:22:11taken the wind
00:22:12out of their sails.
00:22:16A single 17.
00:22:22Is this some kind of a joke?
00:22:24This is the best
00:22:25your country is to offer?
00:22:27The bad blood continues.
00:22:31Chuck just threw a punch at Lance.
00:22:33Oh, it looks like
00:22:33he may have hit Jules.
00:22:34I broke my nose.
00:22:35What the hell just happened?
00:22:36Fuck your nose,
00:22:37I broke my side hand.
00:22:41Drinks!
00:22:42The match has been cancelled.
00:22:44The match has been cancelled.
00:22:46This is the first
00:22:47World Darts Championship
00:22:48that's going to be
00:22:48a no decision.
00:22:49It's unbelievable.
00:22:50I've never seen
00:22:50anything like it.
00:22:51Is there still time
00:22:52to get my drink
00:22:52and do this at the pay?
00:23:07What in fuck
00:23:08is wrong with you?
00:23:09Can't you see
00:23:10we're creating?
00:23:10We have a problem.
00:23:13You're about to have
00:23:14a bigger one
00:23:15when I shove this base
00:23:15up your ass.
00:23:18What do I get?
00:23:20Wilkins and Williams.
00:23:23There's Hubert and Michaels.
00:23:25No piss off.
00:23:27Why do we have to play
00:23:28any of these
00:23:29twatwafels anyway?
00:23:30Because we are trying
00:23:32to bring this sport
00:23:33to America
00:23:33and if you want
00:23:34to be global stars,
00:23:35sell out your music tour here
00:23:37and get minted,
00:23:39then we need
00:23:40a championship match
00:23:41where you don't start
00:23:42a fight and insult
00:23:43the entire nation.
00:23:45Well, I'll feel sorry
00:23:46for them if that's
00:23:47the best day out
00:23:47because those two
00:23:49are a couple
00:23:49of muggy bitches.
00:23:51See, that's exactly
00:23:52what I'm talking about.
00:23:54And by the way,
00:23:56we're sick of playing
00:23:56fucking cricket.
00:23:57You threw exactly
00:23:59three dots at cricket.
00:24:01What are you talking about?
00:24:03This was just delivered
00:24:04for the Galleon brothers
00:24:05and the man said
00:24:06it was urgent.
00:24:08It's probably another
00:24:10love letter
00:24:10from Emma Watson.
00:24:12Boy, is he still here?
00:24:15No, he left immediately.
00:24:16What does it say?
00:24:19I have something you want.
00:24:21You have something I want.
00:24:23If you want a chance
00:24:24to win back
00:24:24the only trophy
00:24:25you ever lost,
00:24:26then
00:24:29we found our team.
00:24:31Dark side of the moon?
00:24:35They're a level C pub team.
00:24:38You'll destroy them.
00:24:39I know.
00:24:40It's bloody perfect.
00:24:53Hey, how much dough
00:24:56you got in the bank?
00:24:58Not a lot.
00:24:59Why?
00:25:02Is everything okay?
00:25:03Yeah.
00:25:04Oh, yeah.
00:25:05Yeah, I was just curious.
00:25:07That's all.
00:25:09I'm out.
00:25:10Hey!
00:25:11Come on in.
00:25:12It's ladies' day.
00:25:15First drink's on the house.
00:25:17Yeah, come.
00:25:18Sit down.
00:25:19I'll tell you about
00:25:20the time I had dinner
00:25:21with the president
00:25:22of Botswana.
00:25:24I think we're
00:25:25in the wrong spot.
00:25:26No, no, no.
00:25:26No, no, no.
00:25:27This is the right spot.
00:25:28We can throw in
00:25:29a second round, too.
00:25:33Oh, you know,
00:25:34they just texted.
00:25:35They're at the Ritz.
00:25:36Oh, great.
00:25:37Let's go.
00:25:38Whoa, whoa, wait.
00:25:39Come back.
00:25:40We can do a third round.
00:25:42What the hell, Virgil?
00:25:44What'd I do?
00:25:48I thought that third round
00:25:50might...
00:25:51Hi.
00:25:51I'm looking for
00:25:52Hank Fuller
00:25:53and Austin Turner.
00:25:55I'm Hank,
00:25:57and this is Austin.
00:25:59Who are you?
00:26:00Some sort of
00:26:01dill collector?
00:26:02No.
00:26:03No.
00:26:03I'm Lester Harrison,
00:26:04chairman of the
00:26:04Championship Darts Corporation.
00:26:06Oh, crap.
00:26:08I think I forgot
00:26:08to send in our dues.
00:26:09This isn't about that.
00:26:11This is something
00:26:12much different.
00:26:13I'm here to offer
00:26:14you boys
00:26:14the opportunity
00:26:15of a lifetime.
00:26:17How would you like
00:26:18to play
00:26:18the Galleon Brothers
00:26:19for the Darts Championship
00:26:21of the world?
00:26:24What?
00:26:25This is some kind of joke.
00:26:26No.
00:26:26This is completely
00:26:27on the level.
00:26:28After the
00:26:29no decision last night,
00:26:30we've decided
00:26:31to give an unknown team
00:26:33a shot at the title,
00:26:34and we've chosen you.
00:26:38Why?
00:26:39Picture this.
00:26:41An unknown team
00:26:42comes from nowhere
00:26:44with a shot
00:26:45at the greatest title
00:26:48in the world of darts.
00:26:50Think of what it'll do
00:26:51for the sport.
00:26:52For every little kid
00:26:53who ever picks up a dart
00:26:54and dreams
00:26:55that maybe one day
00:26:56they too can be
00:26:58a world champion.
00:27:00We could pay
00:27:01anything to play.
00:27:03No, but
00:27:05$100,000
00:27:07goes to the winner.
00:27:09We'll do it.
00:27:11Wait a minute.
00:27:11Wait a minute.
00:27:12We're not going
00:27:13to win $100,000.
00:27:14We can't even
00:27:14beat Mitch and Dana.
00:27:16These guys are going
00:27:16to destroy us.
00:27:17Yeah, of course they are.
00:27:18It's going to be a massacre.
00:27:20Who cares?
00:27:21This is what
00:27:22we've been looking for, Hank.
00:27:24The promo for the bar.
00:27:26It's going to be
00:27:26on TV, right?
00:27:29See?
00:27:29This is amazing.
00:27:30We can wear
00:27:31our pub t-shirts
00:27:31for the whole country
00:27:32to see.
00:27:33Talk to the beachers.
00:27:34still to do an article
00:27:35on us.
00:27:35I don't know.
00:27:36Get on the radio.
00:27:37Talk about the match.
00:27:38Promote the bar.
00:27:39It's amazing, bro.
00:27:40Austin.
00:27:41I'm Hank.
00:27:43Hank.
00:27:44Your mate
00:27:44is making a lot
00:27:45of sense.
00:27:46What do you say,
00:27:47gentlemen?
00:27:48Hell yeah.
00:27:49We're in.
00:27:54Awesome.
00:27:56All right.
00:27:57Let's get started.
00:27:59Let's get started.
00:28:12Fire.
00:28:18Hot.
00:28:19Secret.
00:28:23Fire.
00:28:28Fire.
00:28:29Fire.
00:28:29No.
00:28:30Fire.
00:28:56All right, guys, guys, it's coming on.
00:29:05It looks like there's been a shake-up in the world of darts.
00:29:08In an unprecedented move, the Championship Darts Corporation has chosen Dart Side of
00:29:14the Moon, an unknown Michigan City team, to play for the World Darts Championship.
00:29:18Do we know what city in Michigan they're from?
00:29:21Michigan City, Indiana!
00:29:24Anyways, the match will take place this Saturday at 8 p.m. here at Uptown Social.
00:29:28You can catch it here, live, but if you'd like to go down and cheer on the underdogs in
00:29:31person, you might want to get there early, because this one probably won't last long.
00:29:35Good luck, fellas.
00:29:38That sucked.
00:29:41Well, I should get back to the shop.
00:29:44But I thought it was great.
00:29:48Hey, Jackie, um, do you want to come to the match on Saturday?
00:29:54They're going to destroy us, and it's going to be really embarrassing, but it would be
00:29:58cool to have you there.
00:30:00Um, I bought a ticket the moment you told me about it.
00:30:13Are we going to make complete fools of ourselves on national TV?
00:30:16Yeah, you will.
00:30:18Unless you do exactly what I say.
00:30:20What happened to you?
00:30:23You want a chance to win?
00:30:25Win what?
00:30:26The World Dart Championship, Hank.
00:30:28We're not trying to win.
00:30:30They're the best ever.
00:30:31Don't be ridiculous.
00:30:31They are not the best ever, but with that attitude, you will make asses of yourselves.
00:30:36Do you think we actually have a chance to beat them?
00:30:38I know this.
00:30:39If I teach you and coach you, you will not go on national television and look like complete
00:30:44morons.
00:30:48I don't know.
00:30:49What are you going to do in a few days?
00:30:50We're certainly not going to get any worse.
00:30:52Besides, we should try to be our best, right?
00:30:54We're going to be shooting on national TV, playing with shirts with Michigan City and the
00:30:58pub on them.
00:30:59We can't show up like we don't give a shit, right?
00:31:04All right.
00:31:05All right.
00:31:05Let's get to work.
00:31:06We've got a lot to do.
00:31:08Now?
00:31:08Now!
00:31:12Can we get some more drinks here?
00:31:14Yeah, sure.
00:31:14What are you doing?
00:31:16Going to go get some drinks?
00:31:17No, no, no, no.
00:31:18We're training.
00:31:19What about our customers?
00:31:21It's not my problem.
00:31:22Find a solution now.
00:31:26Well, I guess we don't need any drinks.
00:31:28Hold on.
00:31:30I think of an idea.
00:31:33What about...
00:31:35You think?
00:31:36He's always here anyway.
00:31:39Yeah, sure.
00:31:40Why not?
00:31:41Hey, Virgil.
00:31:43You want a job?
00:31:46Doing what?
00:31:47Tending bar.
00:31:48We can't pay much and you're going to make crappy tips, but...
00:31:50Okay.
00:31:51Have you ever tended bar before?
00:31:53I mean, I used to own the most popular bistro in Paris.
00:31:56We had...
00:31:57All right.
00:31:57All right.
00:31:57Let me show you a few things.
00:31:58No, that's okay.
00:31:59I got it.
00:32:09I didn't know you had an apron.
00:32:10Et pour vous, monsieur.
00:32:13Oh.
00:32:14Fodka martini, extra dirty, and a Zorn after two.
00:32:44I did not see that coming.
00:32:47It's like watching a horse ride a bike.
00:33:05The five things it takes to be a great dart player.
00:33:09Number one, how to stand at the Aki.
00:33:11An Aki.
00:33:12Aki is the line you throw the darts from.
00:33:13Why don't you say the line?
00:33:14Because it's called an Aki.
00:33:18Your feet should be a foot to a foot and a half apart.
00:33:21Your weight, balance to prong your front leg.
00:33:23With a line from the 20 through the bullseye to the middle of your foot.
00:33:32Yep.
00:33:33Your back leg behaves as a kickstand.
00:33:35You should be comfortable and relaxed.
00:33:39Comfortable?
00:33:40Are we relaxed?
00:33:43Gentlemen, I can't tell you how concerned I am as to whether you're comfortable and relaxed or not.
00:33:49Number two, how to throw away darts.
00:33:51I know how to throw away darts.
00:33:51Shut up.
00:33:52Arm raised at a 90 degree angle.
00:33:54Your forearm completely straight.
00:33:57Aim, draw back, fire, and follow through.
00:34:02Ideally, there should be as little movement as possible.
00:34:08Good.
00:34:08Do that a couple thousand times.
00:34:10A thousand?
00:34:10A couple thousand while I watch.
00:34:14Fellas, I'm going to teach you as my father taught me.
00:34:18With hard work, respect, and dedication for the game.
00:34:22When I am done with you, you will know darts.
00:34:25Better yet, you will know yourselves.
00:34:29I will make you dart-throwing machines.
00:34:32I will also make you gentlemen of the sport.
00:34:47People are laughing at us.
00:34:48Yeah, they are.
00:34:49You look ridiculous.
00:34:51Get used to it.
00:34:53Hank, you can't hit bullseyes when you're all alone at home.
00:34:56What do you think is going to happen when you're at the World Dart Championship?
00:34:59There's a huge crowd of people there, and TV cameras pointed directly at me.
00:35:04Holy shit.
00:35:05Holy shit is right.
00:35:06Which is why I want you guys to do two things for me.
00:35:09Number one, no drinking before the match.
00:35:11Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:35:11No drinking?
00:35:12Correct.
00:35:13You mean while we're throwing?
00:35:14No, I mean no drinking.
00:35:16But what about when practice is over, and I said no drinking, period?
00:35:19Hold on, but I like to wind down after a long time.
00:35:21Then get Harvey Wallbanger to coach you.
00:35:28At number two, I got a task on this piece of paper that I want you to complete before the
00:35:33match.
00:35:35Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:35:36I didn't say stop throwing.
00:35:37Get back to the hockey.
00:35:39As little movement as possible, right?
00:35:42As little movement as possible.
00:35:43How long, too?
00:35:44You both look like pigs.
00:35:51You sure this is what he meant?
00:35:52What is said on a piece of paper?
00:35:54It's crazy.
00:35:55It's a practice sport.
00:35:56It's going to take us forever to finish the game.
00:35:58I know, but we said we'd do it, so let's do it.
00:36:02Do we have to do it like this?
00:36:05I don't know.
00:36:07But we're here.
00:36:08So, bro.
00:36:09What happened?
00:36:10You bozos lose a bet?
00:36:14Fuck this.
00:36:15I'm out of here.
00:36:15Yep.
00:36:16Thank God.
00:36:18Awesome.
00:36:19What?
00:36:21Austin.
00:36:33Number three.
00:36:34Strategy.
00:36:35We must always stay one step ahead of our opponents.
00:36:39They close one number, we close the next.
00:36:42They go for points, we go for more.
00:36:45We never play their game, fellas.
00:36:47And we wait for them to make the one little mistake that allows us to bounce and defeat them.
00:36:59Hank the Hammer?
00:37:00Number four.
00:37:02You gotta have a cool nickname.
00:37:04It is pretty cool.
00:37:05Yeah, because you're not being called a tosser.
00:37:27Ace with 18.
00:37:28I'm trying.
00:37:29Okay.
00:37:34Give me a number.
00:37:3717.
00:37:38Triple 13.
00:37:39Got it.
00:37:41Okay.
00:37:42Lower.
00:37:46Nope.
00:37:48Nope.
00:37:48I'm leaving.
00:37:50Austin.
00:37:50Nope.
00:37:52Austin!
00:37:58I don't know what to do.
00:37:59I tried everything.
00:38:00Hank, what's your favorite number to throw at?
00:38:04Anything besides the bowls.
00:38:05No, I mean, what's your favorite number?
00:38:07Every dart player has a favorite number.
00:38:09I like 18s.
00:38:10Okay.
00:38:11Do you think you can hit 18 in that circle?
00:38:17I think so, yeah.
00:38:18All right, let me see.
00:38:21Good.
00:38:21Now, the next time you throw, aim at that dart.
00:38:23Just use it as a marker.
00:38:30Okay.
00:38:30Yeah, I see that.
00:38:32But the 18s are easy.
00:38:33It's the bullseye can't hit.
00:38:35Yes, you can.
00:38:37The bullseye is a circle one and a half inches in diameter.
00:38:40It's actually one of the larger landing areas on the board.
00:38:43It's just an optical illusion.
00:38:46That space you just hit all those 18s is the same size as the bullseye.
00:38:52If you can hit those 18s, you can hit the bulls.
00:38:55That's all there is to it.
00:38:57Now, throw at the bulls, but in your mind, just imagine that big open space where you hit
00:39:02all those 18s.
00:39:11What's that?
00:39:11Man, it's just an 18, right?
00:39:14Man, breathe, picture the 18, and throw.
00:39:31Awesome.
00:39:31Did you see that?
00:39:32Way to go, man.
00:39:33That's how you do it.
00:39:36One out of three is not going to cut it, so let's get back to work.
00:39:40I can tell you this.
00:39:41The Galleon brothers are taking this more seriously than you guys are.
00:39:44I think I'm going to move it.
00:39:47The Galleon!
00:39:53So then I thought, is it a gift from Evan to know that we're going to die?
00:39:59Right.
00:40:01Yeah, well, you should probably go see.
00:40:04Is that an Mbop tattoo on your wrist?
00:40:07Yeah, but it's pronounced Mbop, love.
00:40:10Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's Mbop.
00:40:12No, it's Mbop.
00:40:14Anyway, why do you have a tattoo of a terrible song on your arm?
00:40:17A terrible song?
00:40:19Are you fucking kidding me?
00:40:20Have you ever listened to the lyrics?
00:40:21Yeah, don't they just say Mbop over and over again?
00:40:25No, no, love.
00:40:26It's a song about relationships and getting older, losing your hair, and flowers.
00:40:35It's like the Beatles when I'm 64, or Shakespeare, or Yates.
00:40:42It's fucking poetry, darling.
00:40:44Here, listen to this.
00:40:46Can you tell me, oh, no, you can't, because you don't know.
00:40:54Can you tell me, you say you can, but you don't know.
00:41:01Can you tell me, oh, which flower is going to grow?
00:41:07No, you can't, because you don't know.
00:41:12Can you tell me, whether it'll be a daisy, or a rose?
00:41:18You say you can, but you don't know.
00:41:23Yeah, Mbop is still a terrible song.
00:41:27It's Mbop.
00:41:29I didn't finish telling you the lyrics.
00:41:32Lastly, and most important, number five.
00:41:37Release the pressure.
00:41:40At all times, we want to be calm, relaxed, and in focus.
00:41:46My father would say that when he was in the zone, everything else in the world would go away.
00:41:52It was just him, his darts, and the dartboard.
00:41:57Don't let anything rattle you.
00:42:00We respond, we do not react.
00:42:03And remember, breathe.
00:42:15Real hard.
00:42:17There we go.
00:42:21What do you want, what do you want?
00:42:23Bullseyes.
00:42:24It's time for bullseyes.
00:42:25Easy.
00:42:27I didn't mean hard.
00:42:31Closer.
00:42:32Closer.
00:42:33Don't leave me hanging.
00:42:33I won't leave you hanging.
00:42:35There it is.
00:42:37Bullseyes.
00:42:38Bullseyes.
00:42:57Hey.
00:43:03How's it going?
00:43:05I'm on my way to training.
00:43:07I just wanted to come by and see you real quick.
00:43:09Great.
00:43:11How are you holding up?
00:43:12Big matches tomorrow.
00:43:14Yeah.
00:43:14It's crazy, right?
00:43:16You're still coming, aren't you?
00:43:18Of course.
00:43:18I'm so excited.
00:43:20And just think pretty soon, you're going to be world champs.
00:43:24I don't know about that.
00:43:26Hey, hey.
00:43:28Good luck tomorrow.
00:43:29We're all watching and rooting for you.
00:43:31Thanks, man.
00:43:32See?
00:43:33Well, what I was going to say is, I don't know if we'll win, but if we can at least
00:43:38make it
00:43:38go to three games, that would be amazing.
00:43:41No, you're going to win.
00:43:42And when you do, you better not forget about us.
00:43:46Impossible.
00:43:49You guys have worked hard.
00:43:50Come a long way.
00:43:51There's just one thing left.
00:43:54What's that?
00:43:56Play me in a game of darts.
00:44:01Shoot well, gentlemen.
00:44:10Show me the best that you've got, and I'll show you one better.
00:44:18Show me your reddest rose, and I'll show you one redder.
00:44:26Tell me a dirty joke, and I'll laugh it off lightly.
00:44:34If I tell you a dirty joke, you might not like me.
00:44:43Everyone gets to make one big mistake.
00:44:49And if it's great you know me, well, I guess you're going to have to wait.
00:44:58Because I'm saving mine up for a very, very special day.
00:45:22And if you're waiting on me, well, I guess you're going to have to wait.
00:45:29And if you're waiting on me, well, I guess you're going to have to wait, hey, hey, you're going to
00:45:46have to wait.
00:45:47Because I'm saving my money for a very, very special day.
00:45:52It doesn't matter if it's only a matter of time, you don't love you in the most spectacular way.
00:46:03Show me the best that you've got, and I'll show you one better.
00:46:08All right.
00:46:11Tomorrow I'll pick you guys up before the match.
00:46:14We'll go over everything, make sure you're in the right frame of mind.
00:46:20Oh, and, uh, I don't think I'm proud of you guys or anything.
00:46:31Can you believe we just beat Ian?
00:46:33Bro, we might have a chance at winning tomorrow.
00:46:36Yeah.
00:46:38Excuse me?
00:46:40Hey.
00:46:41Sorry to interrupt.
00:46:42Can I talk to you for a minute?
00:46:44Yeah, sure.
00:46:45Yeah.
00:46:45Oh, take a time.
00:46:54Hey, Virgil.
00:46:55Can you, uh, do me a favor?
00:46:58So, I got you something for the match tomorrow.
00:47:01You did?
00:47:02Yeah, it's not much, and you don't have to use them if you don't want to, but I just thought.
00:47:10Turn it around.
00:47:13This is great.
00:47:15Oh, I'm definitely going to wear this tomorrow.
00:47:19And one for Austin.
00:47:27He's going to hate it.
00:47:29It's great.
00:47:31And I didn't know if Ian had a nickname, so...
00:47:37Yeah, that's...
00:47:40That's him.
00:47:41That'll do it.
00:47:44Of course.
00:47:58Of course.
00:48:01My grandmother used to find a piece she loved and say, well, here's some good news.
00:48:06I always got a kick out of that.
00:48:08That's cute.
00:48:10So, what about you, Hank?
00:48:11Was it always your dream to own a bar and play the World Darts Championship?
00:48:17No.
00:48:17No, not even close.
00:48:19Um, the bar's been in the family forever, but it sat empty for years.
00:48:24And then after Mom died and me and Austin moved back, we were like, hey, let's get the old pub
00:48:31up and running again, so...
00:48:32So, you and Austin...
00:48:34The half-brothers.
00:48:35Different dads.
00:48:36Huh.
00:48:37I didn't know that.
00:48:39Hey.
00:48:41Ooh.
00:48:42Do you have a few minutes?
00:48:44Sure.
00:48:44What's up?
00:48:46I want to show you something real quick.
00:48:47Here, come on.
00:48:48Everywhere I go.
00:48:51All of the signs point to you.
00:48:55Like something divine.
00:48:57And I hope this is forever.
00:49:00There ain't no...
00:49:01Who is that?
00:49:03That is Jay.
00:49:04He's great, right?
00:49:06Amazing.
00:49:08How did I not know about this?
00:49:11It doesn't publicize it.
00:49:12It just does these little impromptu shows, and if you're in the know, you get a little alert when what's
00:49:17happening.
00:49:19It's pretty cool, right?
00:49:21Very cool.
00:49:22Can I be in the know?
00:49:26I think we could work something out.
00:49:27Well, life was like before you.
00:49:33Everyone knows that I've been falling apart.
00:49:37So then, what is your dream, right?
00:49:44What?
00:49:45You can tell me.
00:49:46It can't be that bad.
00:49:48I've always wanted to do that.
00:49:53Sing?
00:49:56Sing something for me.
00:49:58No.
00:49:59Why not?
00:50:01It makes me nervous.
00:50:03Why?
00:50:05I don't know.
00:50:06It's just you're up there all alone, and people are staring at you.
00:50:09It's just...
00:50:11Well, you gotta try.
00:50:13Close your eyes.
00:50:15Picture everybody in their underwear.
00:50:17Have a Bahama Mama or two.
00:50:19You'll be great.
00:50:23You're going to sing for me one day, Hank Fuller.
00:50:26Hmm.
00:50:28After all this training we've been doing with Ian, I've been thinking about giving it a shot.
00:50:34I'm going to hold you to it.
00:50:35Baby, I believe in destiny.
00:50:39It's meant to be.
00:50:43Everywhere I go.
00:50:47All of the sun's gone to you.
00:50:50I saw the goodbye now.
00:50:53I...
00:50:54Oh, his voice was so good.
00:50:56Of course.
00:50:57I'm glad it came up, you know?
00:50:59And I'm in the know now, right?
00:51:01Officially, yeah.
00:51:02Okay, I'll hold you to it.
00:51:03Hey, do you want to come up for a glass of wine?
00:51:06I don't have the stuff to make at Bahama Mama, but...
00:51:10Sounds good.
00:51:11Cool.
00:51:23Is Austin here?
00:51:26Austin?
00:51:28He's probably sold the bar.
00:51:30Wow.
00:51:32Great place.
00:51:33Did you design it yourself?
00:51:36Yeah, pretty much.
00:51:39Um...
00:51:40TV and dartboard are Austin's.
00:51:41Oh.
00:51:45Can I use your bathroom?
00:51:47Yeah.
00:51:48Yeah.
00:51:48Let me show you where that is.
00:51:51Here you go.
00:51:52Oh, my...
00:51:57Did you see me?
00:51:58No, I think so.
00:51:59Okay, yeah.
00:52:00Look, what do we do?
00:52:01Should we stay?
00:52:02We should go.
00:52:02Oh, my God.
00:52:04Okay, I'm so sorry.
00:52:06Let's just head out.
00:52:07My tent like this never happens.
00:52:11Egg?
00:52:13Yeah?
00:52:14Is that...
00:52:15Is that you?
00:52:17Yeah?
00:52:19Okay.
00:52:21I'll be out in just a minute.
00:52:25I'll see you at the match tomorrow.
00:52:28You're gonna be great.
00:52:31Yeah.
00:52:38I'll see you at the match tomorrow.
00:52:41Whoa.
00:52:43Dude, are you okay?
00:52:46Sorry about that.
00:52:47Um, I've just been a little bit stressed,
00:52:50and I've just tried to blow off some steam.
00:52:54By getting herpes?
00:52:55Dude, Virgil has been using that thing since the 90s.
00:52:58I know.
00:53:00I've hit an all-time low.
00:53:02What are you stressed about?
00:53:04Dude, we're gonna be great tonight.
00:53:05It's not about the match.
00:53:07It's...
00:53:07What?
00:53:08I could help.
00:53:09What is it?
00:53:09No.
00:53:10No, no, no.
00:53:10I got it.
00:53:11I got it.
00:53:13I tell you, I sure could use a drink right about now.
00:53:15Ian said we have to do exactly as he says.
00:53:17If you drink, then that...
00:53:18He's not gonna know.
00:53:21Yeah, but I will.
00:53:25Look, I...
00:53:26I gotta...
00:53:28I gotta throw this thing away.
00:53:30Carrying around a bag full of shame.
00:53:33I'm gonna go for a little walk and collect my thoughts.
00:53:37We can talk about this when I get back.
00:53:40Cool?
00:53:42Cool.
00:53:43Sure.
00:53:44Yeah, but Austin, seriously, man.
00:53:47Um, don't go out drinking.
00:53:49We have a chance tomorrow.
00:53:50You saw what happened tonight.
00:53:51We beat Ian.
00:53:52He let us win.
00:53:57God damn it.
00:53:58It's not what I, um...
00:54:02I'm sorry.
00:54:03I'm gonna get rid of this and...
00:54:06I'll just be right back.
00:54:39Do you want a walking partner?
00:54:41Excuse me?
00:54:43Do you want a walking partner?
00:54:45It's just you're there and I'm here and it's that weird sort of awkward thing and I just
00:54:48figured, well, that's silly, you know, we may as well walk together.
00:54:52Yeah, sure.
00:54:53Where are you headed?
00:54:54Do you know where Holloway Drive is?
00:54:56Uh, you sure you're in the right neighborhood?
00:54:59I have no idea.
00:55:01I just moved here and, um, I was meeting some co-workers and I can't find the street and
00:55:06I keep texting them, but nothing and I'm so lost.
00:55:11Yeah, I've never heard of it.
00:55:13You tried Googling it?
00:55:14Yeah, I did, but nothing came up.
00:55:16I just drove down here.
00:55:18I figured this is where all the cool spots in town seem to be.
00:55:21They are, but, uh, I don't know.
00:55:24I grew up here.
00:55:25I've never heard of that before.
00:55:26Um, sorry.
00:55:28I-I-I wish I could help you out.
00:55:30Ah, it's fine.
00:55:33I'll just see them on Monday and figure something out.
00:55:38I-I could-I could walk you back to your car if you'd like.
00:55:43That'd be nice.
00:55:44Thanks.
00:55:47It's in the bag.
00:55:49Ah!
00:55:50Ah!
00:55:51What the heck is that?
00:55:52It's-it's nothing.
00:55:54Uh, that was nothing.
00:55:55That was, um, that was my little brother's.
00:55:58I was just throwing it away for him.
00:55:59So, and, uh, now it's gone.
00:56:02You're acting really strange.
00:56:04Was that a, uh...
00:56:05No, that was-that was nothing.
00:56:08That was definitely nothing.
00:56:09It's gone, so...
00:56:15Um, so, uh, how long you lived here?
00:56:18About a week.
00:56:20Wow.
00:56:21You are new.
00:56:22I am.
00:56:24Where'd you move from?
00:56:25Santa Claus.
00:56:28Santa Claus?
00:56:29Mm-hmm.
00:56:29Okay, now you're just-you're-now you're just messing with me.
00:56:32Oh, honestly, it's a small town.
00:56:34Oh, no, I know all about Santa Claus, Indiana.
00:56:37I just never met anybody from there.
00:56:39Yeah, that's where I am.
00:56:40Really?
00:56:41Yeah.
00:56:42Holy shit.
00:56:43You have no idea how excited this makes me.
00:56:45Why is that?
00:56:46I don't know.
00:56:47I've always just had a thing for those little Indiana towns with weird, funky names, you know?
00:56:53Mm, like Mudsoff?
00:56:56Hey, that's a good one.
00:56:58Um, Carefree, Indiana.
00:57:00Toad Hop?
00:57:02Hard Scrabble.
00:57:03Bee Hunter.
00:57:04Goddamn, you're good at this.
00:57:06Um, okay.
00:57:07Now, if you want to get a little spicy, there's the famous French lick, Indiana.
00:57:11Ooh.
00:57:12Keeping on the spicy theme, there is booty.
00:57:15Booty?
00:57:16Yeah, you know, it's spelled like Buddha.
00:57:18You know how the rest of the world would pronounce it.
00:57:20But this being Indiana.
00:57:22Nice.
00:57:23That's hilarious.
00:57:24Um, okay, now one of my personal favorites.
00:57:27Floyd's Knob.
00:57:31Pocket Poonani.
00:57:33Pocket?
00:57:34What?
00:57:35No, that was, that was my little brother's, I swear.
00:57:38I hope for your sake it was, because that did not look good.
00:57:41No, I, honestly.
00:57:45Well, this is me.
00:57:46Oh.
00:57:47It's been nice.
00:57:49Yeah.
00:57:51Do you want to get a drink?
00:57:56A drink?
00:57:58Uh, yeah.
00:58:00Are you nervous?
00:58:02Never.
00:58:02Me?
00:58:06Ah, thank you very much.
00:58:08Looks great.
00:58:12Yeah.
00:58:18It's weird.
00:58:20What is?
00:58:21Well, I've, I've been in this place a bunch of times, and it's always packed.
00:58:26It makes you feel like everybody knows something you don't.
00:58:29Hmm.
00:58:30Maybe it's just one of those kind of nights.
00:58:33What kind of that?
00:58:34And the unexpected can happen.
00:58:40Can I ask you a serious question now?
00:58:44Sure.
00:58:45You sure?
00:58:45Yeah.
00:58:46Okay.
00:58:48Have you ever noticed how much the Statue of Liberty looks like Elvis?
00:58:52What?
00:58:53What?
00:58:54No, it doesn't.
00:58:55Oh, you don't believe me.
00:58:56No, it doesn't.
00:58:57Okay.
00:59:00Just take a look at this, please.
00:59:05That's insane.
00:59:07That's crazy, right?
00:59:09How come more people aren't talking about this?
00:59:11I don't know.
00:59:13You know what?
00:59:14I think it, that's up to us now to start getting the word out about it.
00:59:22So what do you do?
00:59:24I own a bar.
00:59:26I own a bar with my, my little brother, Hank.
00:59:28Oh, the one with the, uh, uh.
00:59:32Jeez, yes.
00:59:33Yeah, yeah, that's the one.
00:59:37You're not going to believe this.
00:59:41Uh, he and I are playing for the World Darts Championship tomorrow in Chicago.
00:59:48You're right.
00:59:48I don't believe you.
00:59:49There is no such thing as the World Darts Championship.
00:59:52What?
00:59:52Yes, there is.
00:59:54It's a real thing, and we're playing in it tomorrow.
00:59:57It's going to be on TV and everything.
00:59:58Seriously?
00:59:59Yeah.
01:00:01Wow.
01:00:03It's nuts.
01:00:04I mean, that's amazing.
01:00:05You must be pretty good.
01:00:10Yeah.
01:00:13Well, let's drink to that, then.
01:00:16Cheers.
01:00:25Come on, man.
01:00:26It's your phone.
01:00:32I screwed up.
01:00:34I told him you let us win the match yesterday.
01:00:37Oh.
01:00:38I'm sorry.
01:00:40I've just been so stressed out lately.
01:00:45The bar's in terrible shape.
01:00:47We're barely hanging on.
01:00:49This apartment.
01:00:51I mean, everything.
01:00:51It's all tied together.
01:00:52And to lose it all.
01:00:55I've been so stressed out lately, I even used Virgil's fake hoo-ha.
01:00:59Ugh.
01:00:59I know.
01:01:00I know.
01:01:02Disgusting.
01:01:04Hank, he doesn't...
01:01:05He doesn't know about any of this.
01:01:07Well, he knows about the hoo-ha.
01:01:10That was embarrassing.
01:01:13He doesn't know about the rest, you know?
01:01:16They've just come so far.
01:01:19Let's go find him.
01:01:20Okay.
01:01:23That's okay.
01:01:24Come on.
01:01:30Oh, just the guy I wanted to see.
01:01:33Why?
01:01:33Have you seen Hank?
01:01:34Nope.
01:01:35I finally got my check.
01:01:36You gotta be shitting me.
01:01:38I told you.
01:01:39If it weren't for me, it would have been a damn refrigerator.
01:01:42Well, then, Virgil, I guess you deserve that money.
01:01:46Hey, do me a favor.
01:01:47If you see Hank, have him get in touch with me immediately.
01:01:49Please?
01:01:49Sure thing.
01:01:50Everything okay?
01:01:51I don't know, man.
01:01:52We're about to find out.
01:02:01Hey.
01:02:02Here for some last-minute supplies?
01:02:04No.
01:02:04I, uh...
01:02:08Where is he?
01:02:09I was hoping you might know.
01:02:13You know, he really...
01:02:18Well, you're the first place to look.
01:02:25I don't mean to put this on you
01:02:29But I don't know what I would do
01:02:34If you was to leave me, the truth
01:02:38Is I can't live without, without you
01:02:42I don't know where I would go
01:02:47I don't know, but all I know
01:02:51Is I just would not be myself
01:02:56I don't need nobody else
01:02:59I don't need nobody else
01:02:59But you
01:03:00I don't mean to put this on you
01:03:04But I don't know what I would do
01:03:08If you was to leave me, the truth
01:03:13Is I can't live without, without you
01:03:17I want you all to myself
01:03:21Cause I don't need nobody else
01:03:26We have a love that is true
01:03:31Cause I can't live without, without you
01:03:36Why'd you leave?
01:03:41I'm not kidding
01:03:44These guys are the best in the world
01:03:45And I can't even hit a bullseye
01:03:46When I'm at home by myself
01:03:50I started to believe we could win too
01:03:56You can't hit a bullseye
01:03:58Is that a joke?
01:04:02What do you mean?
01:04:04You hit one every moment of every day with me
01:04:07You've never not hit a bullseye
01:04:09As far as I can tell, Hank
01:04:12You're just a bullseye kind of guy
01:04:19Look how far you've come
01:04:23There's a champion inside you
01:04:26That's what I see
01:04:29Now go show the world
01:04:31What the Hank Fuller that I know can do
01:04:38Thanks
01:04:39No, don't like me
01:04:40When you win, you owe me a song
01:04:48I'll see you at the match
01:04:50Wouldn't miss it for the world
01:04:59I mean, if he doesn't get here soon
01:05:01He'll be here
01:05:07Sorry, I'm late
01:05:08You're my brother, Hank
01:05:09You don't apologize to me
01:05:11I'm just glad you made it
01:05:12Oh, by the way
01:05:14I didn't drink last night
01:05:16And I was wrong
01:05:17Ian didn't let us win the match
01:05:19Right?
01:05:21I don't know if you drank last night or not
01:05:23But if you did, I'm going to kick your ass
01:05:26And yeah, I didn't let you guys win
01:05:27You guys played great
01:05:29Now why don't we show these boys
01:05:31How we do things on this side of the pond
01:06:19Hold this and stand with the ocular.
01:06:24What's that, sir?
01:06:26Seven feet, nine and a quarter inches.
01:06:29Now hold that at the bullseye.
01:06:33Now let the dad say.
01:06:34Five feet, eight inches.
01:06:36Exactly right.
01:06:37It's the same dartboard you guys have been throwing at the whole time.
01:06:40They don't change any rules for the world championship.
01:06:44Cool?
01:06:45Cool.
01:06:46All right, let's go warm up.
01:06:49Guys, wait a second.
01:06:51What's up?
01:06:52They didn't even bother to change the banner.
01:06:58That's okay.
01:06:59After tonight, they're never going to forget your names.
01:07:18Ladies and gentlemen, let's get started.
01:07:22We're going to introduce our captain.
01:07:24There it is.
01:07:26Everybody say, oh yeah.
01:07:28Oh yeah.
01:07:30Representing, of course, we're in Chester England,
01:07:33nighttime world champions, the Gallium Brothers.
01:07:37Let's hear it.
01:07:39Thanks a lot, people.
01:07:41Show me a lot.
01:07:53And from Michigan City, Indiana.
01:07:59We got you rolling.
01:08:02Right here from Michigan City, Indiana,
01:08:04Hake the Hammer.
01:08:06And Tom, Austin Turner, baby.
01:08:09Dark Side of the Moon.
01:08:13I hear you guys say, oh yeah.
01:08:16Oh yeah.
01:08:30Good evening, ladies and gentlemen,
01:08:32and thanks for joining me and my partner in the booth,
01:08:34Sean Grafton, for tonight's World Darts Championship.
01:08:37What do you think, Sean?
01:08:38First off, I just want to apologize for the joke
01:08:40I made last week about, you know,
01:08:43having a drink in the booth.
01:08:44That's just silly dart humor,
01:08:45and I really didn't mean anything by it.
01:08:47Not a problem.
01:08:48I doubt anybody took that seriously.
01:08:50So, thoughts about the match?
01:08:52One word, bloodbath.
01:08:54These guys from a pub league
01:08:55in a little town in Indiana have no chance.
01:08:57Two games to nothing.
01:08:58I doubt they even score a single point
01:09:00against the Giants.
01:09:01Well, there you have it, folks,
01:09:03from the former champ himself.
01:09:05Let's go down to the Aki
01:09:06as the match is about to begin.
01:09:13Hey.
01:09:14My name is Ian.
01:09:15I coached Dark Side of the Moon.
01:09:18Good luck, man.
01:09:19You're going to need it.
01:09:20Do you have our trophy?
01:09:21I think they only give you that if you win.
01:09:24You guys got what I want?
01:09:25What?
01:09:25An apology?
01:09:26What do we owe you a fucking apology for?
01:09:28What you said about my father.
01:09:30Hey, I...
01:09:31Never mind.
01:09:32I'll get it out there.
01:09:33Hey.
01:09:34Yeah.
01:09:34Hey.
01:09:35Who's our old man?
01:09:37My father is Alistair Whitman.
01:09:40And now I wish you guys good luck.
01:09:42Because you're going to need it.
01:09:46Wait, so is he really your dad?
01:09:48Stay focused.
01:09:48Finish warming up.
01:09:55Did you?
01:09:56Did you hear that?
01:09:56Did I just hear that Alistair Whitman is his father?
01:10:00That's what it sounded like to me.
01:10:02If that's true,
01:10:03does that make any difference in tonight's match?
01:10:05No.
01:10:06They still have zero chance to win.
01:10:10Tonight's game is the best of three match.
01:10:12The first team to win two matches is the champion.
01:10:15Now the standard CDC rules apply
01:10:16and the Gallium Brothers won first to throw.
01:10:19Are you ready, gentlemen?
01:10:21Then shake hands and shoot well.
01:10:24Shoot well.
01:10:25You two's are punching way above your weight.
01:10:27We've been told to be nice and play a soft little game
01:10:30and make it look good.
01:10:31So play along
01:10:32or I'll send you both home in a fucking ambulance.
01:10:34And here you go.
01:10:36We want you to be the first to have this.
01:10:38The CD.
01:10:39Great.
01:10:41Hold on.
01:10:41This is our name.
01:10:42And now it will always be remembered
01:10:44as a title of our first album.
01:10:47You're welcome.
01:10:49I don't want that piece of shit record.
01:10:51Yeah, I might check it out.
01:10:52That'd be cool, right?
01:10:53What?
01:10:54Hey, hey, can I see that thing for a second?
01:10:57Get the fuck out.
01:10:58What are you doing?
01:11:00I'm looking for my friend.
01:11:02Well, who gives a shit?
01:11:03They're going to throw your darts for you?
01:11:05Why don't you guys get your heads in the game?
01:11:13Trouble 20.
01:11:15Trouble 19.
01:11:16They're not even going for points.
01:11:18A white horse.
01:11:19Get through a white horse.
01:11:23Screw them.
01:11:24You know what to do.
01:11:25They're not taking Darkseid seriously.
01:11:27They just went in.
01:11:28Well, let's see how Darkseid responds.
01:11:34Trouble 17.
01:11:36Trouble 16.
01:11:38Okay.
01:11:39Trouble 15?
01:11:41That's unbelievable.
01:11:42These boys came to play.
01:11:47Jesus.
01:11:54I'll get that guy, my pussy.
01:11:57This guy owns my pussy.
01:12:02Woo!
01:12:05Holded a blind to that, didn't you?
01:12:16Austin's turn to the hockey must have shaken Nicky up
01:12:18because he only hit two 20s.
01:12:21What the fuck was that?
01:12:23Here we go.
01:12:23This is our chance.
01:12:25Go for points.
01:12:25Close out 20s 19.
01:12:27We got this.
01:12:43Hank only manages 34 points.
01:12:46Sorry about that.
01:12:48We're still in.
01:12:49Come on.
01:12:54Lance closes the 17s and 16s.
01:13:01Austin closes 20s and 19s.
01:13:03We should have gone for points in the 15s.
01:13:05His coach won't be happy about that.
01:13:08Nicky closes the 15s and lands a bullseye.
01:13:22Hank is only able to get one bullseye.
01:13:24He needed a bunch of them to keep them in this.
01:13:26Well, whatever your name is, you're just little chakery cracks under pressure, aren't you?
01:13:31Get your notebook, laddie.
01:13:33Shy out, it's done.
01:13:38Guy in Brothers 1, Dark Side of the Moon, 0.
01:13:41Just as I predicted, Dirk.
01:13:42Folks, if you have those inner reservations in 20 minutes, you're not gonna miss them.
01:13:48I'm killing this guy, son.
01:13:49I'm sorry.
01:13:50I'm gonna tell you something my father told me about darts, but it applies to everything in life.
01:13:55You have to believe right here, right now, that you're as great as any dart team that ever was or
01:14:01ever will be.
01:14:02But you have to believe that.
01:14:04Hank!
01:14:05Hey.
01:14:06Hank.
01:14:07How's the match going?
01:14:09It's terrible.
01:14:10We lost the first game.
01:14:12I couldn't concentrate.
01:14:14Well, I think it's because I had to get you these.
01:14:22So you weren't lying.
01:14:26Hey.
01:14:27You made it.
01:14:28You kidding?
01:14:29I had to see this with my own eyes.
01:14:32What the hell is this?
01:14:33Let's throw some darts so we can get the hell out of here.
01:14:38I'll see you around, okay?
01:14:41Hey, don't go anywhere.
01:14:43I won't.
01:14:44I promise.
01:14:45You promise?
01:14:46I promise.
01:14:47But you have to promise me something.
01:14:50Anything.
01:14:51When.
01:14:57All right.
01:14:59You heard what the man said.
01:15:01Let's throw some darts.
01:15:03Let's go.
01:15:08This should be the final game of the match.
01:15:10I don't think dartside can keep up with it.
01:15:18Lance is keeping the same strategy.
01:15:20Closing the 20s and 19s.
01:15:22Yep.
01:15:22Let's see if Austin can answer like last game.
01:15:32Fuck it.
01:15:35Whoa.
01:15:36Trouble 20.
01:15:38Trouble 19.
01:15:41Trouble 18.
01:15:42I didn't see that guy.
01:15:43It's like he said.
01:15:45You can't hit the white horse here.
01:15:46But I sure as shit can.
01:15:49Great charge.
01:15:54They're still not taking them seriously.
01:15:56Hank stepped up to Gliaki.
01:15:57This is where the game has faltered in the past.
01:16:00Trouble 17.
01:16:01Trouble 16.
01:16:06Trouble 15.
01:16:08Wow.
01:16:09Wow.
01:16:09The galleons are going to start taking them seriously now.
01:16:15Single bullseye.
01:16:18Double bullseye.
01:16:21And another single bullseye.
01:16:23Yeah.
01:16:23You see.
01:16:23Now they're starting to score points.
01:16:26Austin could potentially close the game.
01:16:28He needs to shut down the bullseye first.
01:16:32Single bull.
01:16:36Double bull.
01:16:37He needs to double 16 or 15 for a miracle game.
01:16:42Dark side of the moon.
01:16:43So it's a perfect game.
01:16:44I cannot believe it.
01:16:45What an amazing display of darts.
01:16:47No one saw this coming.
01:16:48Especially me.
01:16:49The galleons brothers won.
01:16:51Dark side of the moon won.
01:16:52Ladies and gentlemen.
01:16:53Now we have a match.
01:16:55That's right.
01:16:56Cancel those dinner reservations.
01:16:58Showtime babies.
01:17:00Showtime.
01:17:07They took off their sunnies.
01:17:08They said they never take off their sunnies.
01:17:10They mean business.
01:17:11Here we go ladies and gentlemen.
01:17:14The final game.
01:17:15This is exciting stuff.
01:17:23Lance Gallion hits three triple 20s.
01:17:25He's closed the 20s and scored 120 points.
01:17:28That was a magnificent start to the game.
01:17:38Triple 19.
01:17:42Another triple 19.
01:17:44The way these two are throwing.
01:17:46Their coach may really be Alistair Whitman's son.
01:17:50Austin Turner hits seven 19s.
01:17:53Dark side of the moon are 76 points.
01:17:55Great response.
01:17:59Nicky hits the triple 19 and three 18s.
01:18:02As I thought, both teams are now playing a modern strategy.
01:18:10Hank Fuller hits two triple 17s and a triple 20.
01:18:13Fantastic darts.
01:18:15They've now gone ahead with 127 points.
01:18:19Lance hits the triple 18 and three 17s.
01:18:22They've retaken the lead with 174.
01:18:25What a match.
01:18:27In Freddy Ball.
01:18:28And now they have the lead by one.
01:18:34Nicky finds four 15s, giving them the lead with 189 points.
01:18:42They've again inched ahead with 191 points.
01:18:45This is like two heavyweight boxers giving everything they have in the final round of a title match.
01:18:51An incredible thing to witness.
01:18:53Lance lands a triple 15.
01:18:54Then finds two 16s through ahead with 234 points.
01:19:01Austin hits another triple 16 and closes the 15s.
01:19:04As they've regained the lead with 239 points.
01:19:10Blast heart just misses.
01:19:12Yes, but it landed in the 16, closing out that number.
01:19:15Meaning it all comes down to the bulls.
01:19:17To recap, the Gallium brothers have closed out the 20s through the 15s and they've managed two bullseyes.
01:19:22They also have 234 points.
01:19:25Dart side of the moon has also closed out the 20s through the 15s.
01:19:28They have no bulls.
01:19:29But they are ahead with 239 points.
01:19:32Dart side of the moon needs three bulls.
01:19:33The Gallium brothers, too, to win the game and the match.
01:20:02Hey.
01:20:04Hank, look at me.
01:20:12So?
01:20:12Sorry.
01:20:13Oh, my God.
01:20:14I cannot stop thinking about how much a Statue of Liberty looks like Elvis.
01:20:20But hey, there's no pressure, man.
01:20:23We've already won.
01:20:54That does not look good.
01:20:56It's not good at all.
01:21:03It's virtually impossible.
01:21:05The dart is covering almost the entire double ball, which is what he needs to win.
01:21:12This shot was only made once, and that was by the greatest player to ever throw a dart.
01:21:49The Darts Out of the Moon wins!
01:21:51Darts Out of the Moon wins!
01:21:53They are the new dart champions of the world.
01:21:55We actually caught the dart in all my years.
01:21:58I've never seen that.
01:21:59This may be the greatest day in the history of this beautiful sport.
01:22:04We did it, bro.
01:22:06We did it.
01:22:06No.
01:22:07She won.
01:22:07Unbelievable.
01:22:08No, that shot was unbelievable.
01:22:10And we saved the bar.
01:22:12Wait, what?
01:22:13What are you talking about?
01:22:14Oh, dude, if we did $100,000, we could have lost the place.
01:22:17Seriously?
01:22:18Yeah.
01:22:19The apartment, too.
01:22:20When were you going to tell me?
01:22:22Never.
01:22:23What the mother of Christ happened?
01:22:26I told you they'd never forget your names after tonight.
01:22:29Is that why you had us play in our underwear, so we'd be ready for this?
01:22:34No, that had nothing to do with anything.
01:22:35I just thought that was funny.
01:22:37Is Alistair Whitman really your dad, or is that some bullshit to you?
01:22:40Hey, does it matter?
01:22:42No.
01:22:48That was for you, weird old mittens.
01:22:50Who knew darts could be so exciting?
01:22:52It's surprising, right?
01:22:53Yeah, you're going to have to show me how to play later.
01:22:56Gentlemen, I, uh...
01:22:58What the fuck do you want?
01:22:59I think we know what I want.
01:23:04For what?
01:23:06For everything.
01:23:07I couldn't have done it without you.
01:23:11Hey, I was wondering, do you think you and I could sometime, would you be interested?
01:23:18Good Lord, Hank.
01:23:20Why do you think I have a little dart section in my otherwise beautiful shop?
01:23:25Yes.
01:23:27Yes, I would love to go out with you.
01:23:46Huh.
01:23:48So you're still saying it was Hank's fake vagina.
01:23:54Bugger roll.
01:23:54Hey, I'm, I'm gloating here, man.
01:23:56Is this some kind of a fucking joke?
01:23:58What?
01:23:58You're a fucking queer?
01:24:00Hey, if you've got a problem with him, then you can...
01:24:01Hey, no, it's all good, man.
01:24:02I got this.
01:24:03Listen, man, I just learned...
01:24:05Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever.
01:24:06Look, all I wanted to say was, I'm a queer too.
01:24:08But up until now, I was the only one playing championship darts, you know what I mean?
01:24:12Welcome to the fucking game, mate.
01:24:14You lads played well.
01:24:16And we won a fucking remage.
01:24:23I also did not see that coming.
01:24:29Hey, no, it's all good.
01:24:32Hey, no, where you going?
01:24:33Put your pony, we got lots to see.
01:24:37Right now, the winds are blowing.
01:24:41Celebration of you and me.
01:24:44Hey, no, the songs are playing.
01:24:48But the music is letting it be.
01:24:52Right now, the winds are blowing.
01:24:56Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:24:59All right, let's do it.
01:25:00Virgil, everybody.
01:25:02Thank you so much, Virgil, for that wonderful rendition of darling Nicky.
01:25:07Yeah, Prince was a good friend of mine.
01:25:10The original title of that story.
01:25:11Yes, he was.
01:25:12Yes, he was.
01:25:13Thank you, Virgil.
01:25:14Another round for Virgil.
01:25:17All right.
01:25:27Um, never did this before, but, uh, it was the first time for everything, right?
01:25:32So, there goes nothing.
01:25:52I was losing his lost cause.
01:25:56You were misled by what you saw.
01:25:59But there we were tempted by fate.
01:26:03And a half-empty blender.
01:26:06So we drank it till the sun came up.
01:26:09Told me that you only hung around to see if we could make it a night to remember.
01:26:20You said, watch me now, boy, I'm gonna make it rain.
01:26:24I said, baby, do you really wanna go there?
01:26:27You said, watch me now, boy, I'm gonna go insane.
01:26:31If you watch me, if I really wanna go there.
01:26:34You waited in your running car So patiently outside the bar
01:26:42Dark-born angels, saving me From some bad decisions
01:26:47Then you drove us to a parking lot Somewhere out of the sticks
01:26:53To make some backseat memories
01:26:55History with no need of revision
01:27:02You said, watch me now, boy, I'm gonna make it rain
01:27:06I said, baby, do you really wanna go there?
01:27:10You said, watch me now, boy, I'm gonna go insane
01:27:13If you ask me if I really wanna go there
01:27:16If you ask me if I really wanna go there
01:27:20Dark-born angels
01:27:24How could a stranger believe in me?
01:27:48You said, watch me now, boy, I'm gonna make it rain
01:27:52I said, baby, do you really wanna go there?
01:27:55You said, watch it now, boy, I'm gonna go insane
01:27:59If you ask me if I really wanna go there
01:28:02You said, watch me now, boy, I'm gonna make it rain
01:28:06I said, baby, do you really wanna go there?
01:28:09You said, watch it now, boy, I'm gonna go insane
01:28:13If you ask me if I really wanna go there
01:28:16You said, watch me now, boy, I'm gonna make it rain
01:28:20Isaac baby do you really wanna go there
01:28:23You said watch it now for I'm gonna go and stay
01:28:27If you ask me if I really wanna go there
01:28:30If you ask me if I really wanna go there
01:28:34If you ask me if I really wanna go there
01:28:53If you ask me if I really wanna go there
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