- 10 minutes ago
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:02I love cats. I kind of worship them. A worship which, as cat people know, can
00:09sometimes feel unrequited. But it doesn't really matter. A cat person doesn't need
00:16a cat to love you back all the time. We're happy with the occasional slow
00:21blink, the every so often soft paw on the arm, the purr on the lap at the end of
00:27a day that feels like absolution. Well, having said all that, Terry Pratchett once remarked
00:32that if cats looked like frogs, we'd realise what nasty, cruel little they are.
00:39Well, Terry, I don't completely agree, but I know what you mean. For example, this cat,
00:47Ron, went missing once in an attic room, and we couldn't find him at all, so I spent about
00:55two hours on my hands and knees, crawling about in dusty old insulation, calling for
01:02Ron, who just wouldn't come out. And eventually, I was sort of about to die, and I was so furious,
01:08I found him. And the trouble was, no matter how furious I was, as soon as I saw his little
01:14face, I just thought, oh, wrong. He's going to do a big jump. Oh, wow.
01:21In this three-part series, I'll be fulfilling a lifelong dream to spend most of my time with
01:26cats. He's good as gold. He's purring. He's incredibly nice. They're not always easy
01:31to film with. It's something I've made up. Oh, no. Oh, Wilfred. But that turns out to be
01:38half the fun. I mean, that is a really quirky bum. I'll be meeting every sort of cat. Bertie
01:44over there has got no eyes. I just really would like to hold one of these cats. His full name
01:49is Laurie Coons, busy being fabulous, and making sure they get the spot that they've never really
01:55had on the small screen. That's extraordinary. A cat is grace made flesh. They're just so absurdly
02:09beautiful. Their faces seem designed to please our eyes. Because it's us, not them, who conventionally
02:17think there is beauty in symmetry, in large eyes, in tiny, perfect noses. How can one species
02:25find another so attractive? And is it, well, weird?
02:40There are dogs which actually divide the crowd more. Cats generally are more aesthetically pleasing.
02:46A big, fat, I think, half tortoiseshell, half black and grey tabby. Just, I mean, beautiful.
02:54Oh, I just find them so beautiful. The way they move, their slow blinks. I mean, there's some shocker
02:59of human babies. Yeah. I mean, really. Whereas, I've never really seen a shocker of a cat baby.
03:05Cats sneezing on you. Eating loudly. When my cat's eating, I go, oh, listen to crunching,
03:10crunching. If I was in a restaurant, I'd put your head against the table. There isn't really an explanation
03:15for why humans, as a species, should take delight and like seeing another species. Evolutionally,
03:21that makes no sense. Yeah. Just to make it clear, I'm not going to have sex with cats at any
03:26point.
03:27They're absolute beauties. Well, like all cats, she's pretty perfect. Cats tend to be more beautiful
03:35across the spectrum. You do see dogs and you think, that is a fugly dog. Have you ever seen an
03:41ugly cat?
03:41Yeah, I've seen an ugly cat and it's still cute. I don't think there is an ugly cat, no. Like,
03:47how ugly can you be if you're a big ball of fur? I have seen an ugly cat, but I
03:51still sort of loved it.
03:52I'll put it out. I've never seen an ugly cat. But you know, most of the really, truly nasty people
03:59I've met in my life have been beautiful. Beauty doesn't bring kindness. So are you like me? Me and
04:05you are on a similar level of, I'm going to say, ugliness. They've always got a charm, even if they're
04:12one of those naked ones. Oh, I like the naked ones. I like the naked ones if they've got great
04:16big balls.
04:19Can I just make it clear that Philippa is not talking about people?
04:23I thought it was worth trying to find out if there is such a thing as an ugly cat.
04:28And then I remembered this guy. Ma, there's a weird straight cat outside.
04:33Who really scared the American actor Michael Rappaport with his face. It looks like grandma.
04:39Blink. Ma. No, no, no. Here he comes. Ma. Ma, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Wilfred,
04:45who's become an internet sensation precisely because he's a cat that has the kind of face
04:51that makes you go, ah, and at the same time, oh, dear.
05:06Hello, Wilfred.
05:08Aw. The thing is, he looks outraged, whatever you're doing, but he's so great.
05:13Is he a lap cat? No, he's never come on my lap even once. Right.
05:18He's not that cuddly, really. Wilfred, be a bit more cuddly.
05:22I honestly don't think he knows what his name is. Can I say something which might be a little
05:25bit rude? Is it possible that he's very stupid? I have thought that.
05:30He's also quite Yoda-like, so he may be very, very clever in a way that we don't understand.
05:36He's had so many comparisons as well over the years, like Fizgig from The Dark Crystal,
05:42he's had that a lot. Fizgig. The Worm from The Labyrinth.
05:45Labyrinth, the David Bowie film? Yeah. Okay.
05:47There's a little worm in it that looks like him.
05:50Is it in David Bowie's trousers? Because David Bowie's trousers have a sense of being a bit
05:55worm-like in that film.
05:57How do you say his name? Is it Steve Buscemi?
06:00Steve Buscemi? Buscemi, is that how you say it?
06:02Steve Buscemi. Okay.
06:05What do you think it is about him? The messages from his fans were things like
06:08he helped with their mental health. At the end of a difficult day, they would just come
06:12and look at pictures of Wilfred. They felt that because Wilfred looked a bit different,
06:16that it's okay to be different. Yeah. Well, that's really interesting,
06:19because there's a kind of default beauty that cats have that you might say that Wilfred
06:24doesn't fit into. Yeah, there seemed to be a divide straight away between people who thought
06:28he was the most cutest, beautiful creature they'd ever seen, and people who were saying he was
06:34extraordinarily ugly. Obviously, he's really cute, but he's really cute in a quite challenging way.
06:41I always thought what's quite unusual about Wilfred is the range of human-like expressions he has.
06:46He can look sad, excited, annoyed. He looks to me like I've said, or you've said, or everyone's
06:53said something slightly injurious to him. He's got a face that is like, how dare you?
06:59A lot of people said straight away he's a spirit animal. He's representing, like, my mood.
07:05Do you know how many people have got tattoos of him? I've seen quite a few over the past,
07:10yeah, decade. I must have seen eight or nine, something like that, but there's probably more.
07:15I've probably missed a lot of them. Hello, Sonia. I'm here at the home of
07:21Wilf, and I've been told that you have a tattoo of Wilf the cat.
07:26Tell me why you decided to get a tattoo of him.
07:30Decidimos en tatuármelo, porque me parecía maravilloso.
07:34And do you have any other tattoos of animals you've seen on the internet?
07:38No. Solo Wilfred.
07:40OK, so where is the tattoo of Wilf on your body?
07:43Lo tengo en la pierna, cerca del tobillo.
07:46So, this is Jenna. Hey!
07:48Jenna is Wilfred's owner. Can you show Jenna the tattoo, please?
07:55It's a beautiful tattoo. Are you excited to meet Wilfred?
07:57Well, a lot, because I love it.
07:59I would like you to meet him, but I would also like you to show Wilfred the tattoo.
08:04Of Wilfred.
08:05So, let's see what he thinks about it.
08:07Uh, there he is.
08:10Wilf, Wilf, come on, mate.
08:11Hi, Wilfred!
08:13This is a very, very big moment, but he is hiding under the table.
08:17Oh, no, he's come out. He's come out. Do you want to have a go?
08:20OK. OK, here, the tattoo is there, so...
08:23Where's he gone? Oh, he's gone behind the sofa.
08:25Once again, I'm understanding why there's never been a TV show about a cat.
08:28Oh, hang on, there he is.
08:36OK, here he is.
08:38Oh, Wilfred.
08:44OK, here we go. Wilfred, look at this.
08:46Hi, Wilfred.
08:48Wilf, what do you think?
08:49It's you on a Spanish lady's leg.
08:52Oh, he's interested.
08:54Oh, he was for a minute.
08:56Wilf, don't go.
08:58Wilfred.
09:03Every time I put him down, he moves away.
09:05He doesn't really like Zoom.
09:06OK.
09:08There you are.
09:09What would you like to say to Wilfred?
09:14You're the funniest and nicest thing in the world, Wilfred.
09:18He's got a nice arse.
09:22Hola.
09:32When I go on about the beauty of cats, I should be clear, I mean all cats, even Wilfred.
09:39I don't care about pedigree.
09:41The idea of breeds implies to me a hierarchy of perfection, which doesn't work with cats,
09:47because they're all perfect.
09:49The bar with cats starts with perfect.
09:51But for pedigree people, cat perfection does exist, as long as you understand the science,
09:58which, as you're about to find out, I really don't.
10:06Unfortunately, Alfie won't get married as a tiger because he's not stripy enough.
10:10Oh, really?
10:10But he carries the snow gene.
10:12He carries the what?
10:13The snow gene.
10:13The snow gene?
10:14Yeah, because you know, I don't know if you know about Bengals.
10:16You have brown Bengals and you have snow Bengals.
10:18No, I didn't know that.
10:19The snow gene is a recessive gene.
10:21It's a colour point gene from Siamese.
10:22Okay.
10:23But if you make two carriers together, you get a kitten that's homozygous for the snow.
10:27They are beautiful, sort of pale mink colour.
10:30You said a sentence then that was amazing.
10:32You said something like they're homozygous for the snow gene.
10:35Yeah.
10:35Is that what you said?
10:36Yeah.
10:36I don't know what that means.
10:43That's Alfie.
10:43That is Nella.
10:44We call her Naughty Nella.
10:45I love cats, but if you show in cats, pedigree cats, like dogs, have what we call an SOP.
10:51It's a sort of standard of points.
10:52Right.
10:55You have to have a dangerous wild animaliser to keep an Asian leopard cat.
10:58But in GCF, we decided to stop it.
11:00What's GCF?
11:01Oh, the Governing Council of the Cat Fancy, which is the feline equivalent of the Kettle Club.
11:05Say it again.
11:06The Governing Council of the Cat Fancy.
11:07The Governing Council of the Cat Fancy.
11:10So, that year, it was across the stage.
11:12That was one by one.
11:13The second year, it was a little strange.
11:15They had all the six cats on the stage on individual podiums.
11:18The Governing Council of the Cat Fancy.
11:20A little bit of a mouthful, I'm sorry.
11:21There's an actual thing called the Governing Council of the Cat Fancy.
11:24There it is.
11:24Oh, you haven't heard of it?
11:27Hold on a second.
11:28Sorry.
11:29Sorry.
11:29Take a breath.
11:30Take a breath.
11:30So, who's this?
11:32This is Colin.
11:33Right.
11:34And he turned up in Marchemley.
11:35Oh, not Marchemley.
11:36He turned up in Marchemley.
11:38Marchemley.
11:38It's a village near Hodnett.
11:40Of course.
11:40Between here and Shrewsbury.
11:42About eight miles from Shawbury, where his home was.
11:45While Susan's gone, all I might do is speak for a bit.
11:49Just to sort of, you know, be able to.
11:54Whee!
11:56So, on that particular locus of the Crobusome,
11:59they just have the two pair of snow jeans.
12:02Right.
12:02And then they're snow.
12:03Well, that's clearer.
12:05Yeah.
12:08So, that's your tickly stick.
12:09Do you want to show us how that works?
12:10Well, generally just...
12:11Alfie!
12:11Oh, I see.
12:12Alfie, what's that?
12:14Oh, right.
12:14I will eat it.
12:15And he wanted to play with it.
12:17So, the life of a toyger stud is basically just having sex with a toyger.
12:22Not as much as they'd like, actually.
12:24Oh, OK.
12:24I don't do public stud because of germs.
12:26You don't do public stud?
12:27I'm a very close cattery.
12:29Right.
12:29I have a few select friends to stud, but they're not advertised a public stud.
12:34OK.
12:34Public stud you advertise is actually on the website of the governing council.
12:38There is a...
12:38Of the cat fancy...
12:40It's approved studs.
12:41If your stud meets with all the approval and all the criteria required,
12:44to be a registered GCCF stud cat for public stud.
12:47These are incredible words.
12:49We don't recommend that they have, you know, any stud would have too many,
12:52because they can get one out, poor boys.
12:54I mean, Hugh Hefner looked quite bad by the end of the day, didn't he?
12:59That's Rudy.
13:00He's absolutely gorgeous.
13:02No, he is very nice.
13:03He studs, does he?
13:05He does have a few queens, yes.
13:06His fur is amazing, actually.
13:08He's gorgeous, isn't he?
13:09His fur is so silky.
13:10His pattern is fantastic.
13:12He is a lover boy, and look, he's got a big heart there.
13:15Oh, yeah, he's got a big heart.
13:17Yeah, he has.
13:18And big balls, of course.
13:20Which are very important in his line of work.
13:22He's certainly a very good show captain.
13:24He's an Imperial Grand Champion.
13:25He's only young.
13:26He's an Imperial Grand Champion?
13:27Yeah, and he's only, I think he's only one away from Olympian at the moment.
13:30One away from Olympian?
13:31Olympian is the highest title.
13:32Is it?
13:32There's a series of titles.
13:33Because Imperial sounds quite high.
13:34Imperial Grand Champion sounds about as high as you can get,
13:36but you're saying there's one higher than that.
13:38Yeah.
13:38Could I pick him up?
13:39Yeah, I don't think it'll hurt you.
13:40I don't think it'll hurt me, but I don't know if you'll want me to pick him up.
13:42He seems okay with that.
13:43He'll be on your shoulder, yeah.
13:44He's good as gold.
13:45He's purring.
13:46He's happy to be judged, you see.
13:47I don't show my catch if they're not happy.
13:48I'm not judging him.
13:50No, but...
13:51I'm definitely not judging him.
13:52They do get quite a lot of cuddles when they're being judged.
13:54Oh, really, do they?
13:55Yes.
13:55Is there a cuddle section?
13:56No.
13:57There definitely should be.
13:58Is he your top cat?
14:00It's him versus Lucy, really.
14:03Wow.
14:05Oh, my goodness.
14:07That's amazing.
14:08That is sort of about 40 years of rosettes there.
14:10We've been here since 1986.
14:12So, tell me about these very, very impressive rosettes.
14:16Well, Lucy is an amazing cat.
14:17Right.
14:17In 2023, we had the most amazing show at the Supreme, which is the Big Co.
14:21It's a bit like Crufts for Cats.
14:23OK.
14:23So, Lucy won Supreme Yuta in 2023 and 2024.
14:28It was absolutely amazing.
14:29So, she's like the number one seed at Wimbledon?
14:32She is.
14:33OK, wow.
14:33And she's going to try and retain her title?
14:36Well, do the hat trick.
14:37But she's 11 this year.
14:38So, she's getting on?
14:39Yeah.
14:40I suspect a younger one will win it this year.
14:41Oh, Lucy, that's awful.
14:42That's just ageism.
14:44Not necessarily.
14:45Well, I don't know.
14:46It depends on how they look, how beautiful they are.
14:48But with Lucy, she behaves very well.
14:50And that's, I think, the thing that really shows off.
14:53You know what?
14:54Can we meet Lucy?
14:55We can meet Lucy.
14:56I'm so excited to meet Lucy.
14:56I'll go and catch her.
14:58She's in here.
14:59Oh, here she is.
15:01The matriarch.
15:02She is.
15:02Oh, lovely.
15:03We're here in the bathroom.
15:07And here is Lucy.
15:08And she's had kittens, has she?
15:11She's not had kittens.
15:12Oh, she's not?
15:12She wanted to be a career girl.
15:14She never got pregnant.
15:16Spent years living with boys.
15:17Right.
15:17OK.
15:18But she put them in the place.
15:19Well, you know, some...
15:20She wasn't very keen on it.
15:22No, fair enough.
15:23Well, you know, that's an option for a woman.
15:24She wants to be a career girl.
15:25So I'm excited as to whether or not Lucy's going to win.
15:28That's obviously very exciting to see if she can get the record hat trick.
15:31It will be wonderful.
15:33That'll be amazing.
15:33I think it might be the kiss of death, though.
15:35You're loving it.
15:35For me.
15:38Are you going to the Supreme?
15:39Oh, good.
15:39I think so.
15:39I'll see you at the Supreme.
15:40I'll be there with my team Lucy scarf.
15:44You're married, aren't you?
15:45Yes.
15:46But what's your husband's name?
15:47Ray.
15:48Ray.
15:48And Ray is a dog person.
15:51Yes, he likes dogs best, but he's only allowed one.
16:01Part of what fascinates me about cats is that they have a bigger,
16:06wilder version of themselves out there in the world.
16:08The same design, just bigger.
16:11That is a uniquely feline phenomenon.
16:15What other animal has that?
16:16Okay, guinea pigs and capybaras, who are pretty cute.
16:19But really, it's only cats that have a supersized version of themselves that is so similar.
16:34So these are sort of our poster boys.
16:36Brothers, Hassani and Kamari.
16:39Four-year-olds.
16:40Goodness me.
16:42A part of me immediately just thinks, oh, cat.
16:45Just when I look at it, oh, the cat.
16:47I just want to stroke it and have it on my lap, which obviously would be silly.
16:51Oh, he's not.
16:53Yeah.
16:54As I say, silly.
16:59There we go.
17:01Wow.
17:05One thing that I think makes big cats very like cats is that I assume their anatomy and
17:09skeletal shape is very, very similar.
17:11It's just not a big scale.
17:13It's exactly the same.
17:13And that's very unique to cats, isn't it?
17:15Unique to cats, yeah.
17:16Oh, hey, no, it's all right.
17:18I think I can do it.
17:19Whoa!
17:20Maybe not.
17:21Pass on to that.
17:22See you guys.
17:23See ya.
17:29Tell me about the cheetah.
17:30These guys are more closely related to domestic cats as people think.
17:34They're actually still classed as a small cat.
17:36A big, small cat.
17:37A big, small cat, yeah.
17:39It's really a proper meow.
17:41It is.
17:41They also do like little chirping sounds as well.
17:44They purr the same as domestics as well.
17:47But meowing is a sound that I believe, and we'd have to ask a cat expert, is an invention
17:51that cats came up with as a way to, you know, make humans know that they want food.
17:56Cats actually will obviously meow to talk to the humans, but they don't tend to meow to each other.
18:03Star is definitely one of those ones that's most vocal.
18:05We can't feed Star immediately like she's thinking that we should.
18:09So she's doing something that a cat would do, which is getting more and more insistent
18:13about being fed and not understanding why she isn't being fed.
18:16It's such a cat thing.
18:17We've got a feed Star.
18:18I feel bad.
18:19I think we do, yes.
18:20Here we go.
18:21One thing about the meow is it's a very sweet, very high sound.
18:25Now obviously that sort of fits with a little animal.
18:27Yeah.
18:28But it's slightly more surprising with these ones.
18:30Yeah.
18:30Their actual voice box is very similar to a domestic cat's.
18:32It's not the same as lions or tigers because they have the hyoid bone.
18:38And that is what allows the lions and the tigers to roar.
18:42OK.
18:42Wow, look, stop it.
18:44Come on, no, no, no, no, look.
18:46Oh, my God, it's gone off.
18:52Wow, ladies.
18:54Whoa.
18:59It's interesting, the juxtaposition between the meow, which does feel very cute and very
19:04sweet, and the roar, when they're fighting each other.
19:07It changes.
19:07Yeah, it changes very quickly.
19:08Instantly.
19:09Lovely to meet you.
19:10Yes.
19:11Oh, maybe.
19:12Bye-bye.
19:12Oh, one more.
19:13I have you.
19:14You just did that with your hand.
19:15I did, yeah.
19:15Is that OK?
19:17It is when you know what you're doing.
19:18OK.
19:26So, come on in.
19:28So, these are palace cats?
19:31Yes.
19:32We've got three boys and three girls.
19:33They are all kittens.
19:35They are known for being the grumpy cat.
19:37Oh, really?
19:38Yes, it is their beautiful facial expressions that do give them that little nickname.
19:43They're so cute.
19:45Yeah.
19:45And I don't think they do look grumpy or such grumpiness as they have is part of their cuteness.
19:51I just really would like to hold one of these cats.
19:53It would be a very bad idea.
19:55Palace cats are actually from Central Asia.
19:58They are adapted for those climates.
20:00They've got the densest and the thickest fur of all cat species.
20:03Do they?
20:04Yes.
20:05So, going off of that...
20:06Have you ever stroked one?
20:07Um, no.
20:08I don't really want to get my hands too close either.
20:11OK.
20:11They are not really amenable to being petted.
20:14They are quite spicy.
20:16Do they hiss?
20:17They do hiss.
20:18They can spit.
20:19And they are not really too happy when you go into their nest boxes to try and clean their beds
20:23either.
20:24That's ungrateful.
20:25It's very ungrateful.
20:26They do eat in their beds as well, so unfortunately we have to...
20:28Well, I do that sometimes.
20:29But I never hiss at anyone who's trying to clean it.
20:31No, no.
20:32Oh.
20:33So we've got one coming down already.
20:37OK.
20:38OK.
20:38Whoa!
20:40Goodness me.
20:40There's another fourth one that's just arrived at the front here.
20:43So that's one of our girls.
20:49Do they purr and do they meow?
20:51They... they growl.
20:53They growl, that's it.
20:54Yeah.
20:54Really, really painting a negative picture of the palace cat.
21:00So all animals have an element of this, but I think cats are the best, which is a sort of
21:04deadpan look.
21:05It's a brilliant bang look at you.
21:08He's doing it now.
21:10It's just such a great stare.
21:13One thing that is just very joyful is seeing them peer at you from behind a rock.
21:17It's one of my favourite things to see.
21:28Here they come.
21:31Yes.
21:32Strong sense that they've seen me and thought there's a lot of meat over there.
21:37I've always really wanted to bathe with lions.
21:41It's a bit like dances with wolves, only more relaxing.
21:47This is strange.
21:50Hello.
21:53Okay, I'm making a noise.
21:55There you go.
21:56It's made no difference.
21:57It often makes no difference at home, though, with my cats.
22:05Well, that... well, that... no, that won't do anything.
22:07Oh, yeah.
22:07No, no, no.
22:08There's a certain amount of that.
22:09Look at that.
22:12So the reserve have clearly put some kind of scent or something
22:16out there on the balls and on the area around here that attracts the lions.
22:21But I don't know what it is.
22:22Well, it's actually a perfume.
22:25So it's basically there to encourage them to use that sense of smell.
22:29How long have you been standing there?
22:31A while.
22:38As I said earlier, the world of cat shows is something of a mystery to me.
22:42Because what exactly makes a winning cat, when as far as the cats are concerned,
22:48they've all already won.
23:07This might be the furriest cat I've ever seen.
23:08Yeah, he's a Persian. He loves the attention. We call him meet and greet at home.
23:16God, they're so strange and beautiful and alien.
23:20So this is called Percy.
23:21Oh, he's quite a big lad.
23:24You run a catery specifically for Sphinx?
23:27Yes, Canadian Sphinx.
23:29One of the things that I love about cats is that they're furry and fluffy.
23:32Yes, and this is the opposite.
23:34And this is the opposite.
23:35But as soon as you come into contact with one, A, they're obviously beautiful.
23:39And B, like, incredibly nice.
23:48So this is Lucy. Hello.
23:50Yeah, not that bothered.
23:51We've met before.
23:52So I'm excited to see if Lucy can get the record hat trick.
23:57Do we know where the Sunderland person is?
24:01Do you support Sunderland?
24:04No. Newcastle?
24:07Sight Liberace's hotel room in Vegas.
24:09I'm seeing a lot of silk, which is very, like, again, the idea of cats are sort of luxurious.
24:14I'm not sure you would see so much silk at a dog show.
24:20And they are...
24:21Snowshoes.
24:23Snowshoes.
24:23There's some breeds here I've never heard of.
24:26What is Inky in for?
24:28Male neuter.
24:29He's trying to get his imperial.
24:30What does that mean?
24:31So it's the one before Olympian.
24:34OK.
24:35It's a pedigree, right?
24:36Yeah, he's the main coon.
24:37He's got a very incredible sort of Star Wars face, don't you think?
24:42He's like a mythical creature.
24:44Like I'm king of our species, like him.
24:47Is Rupert a household pet?
24:49Yes, he is.
24:50And he has very...
24:52Can I hold him?
24:52Yes.
24:53Furry feet.
24:54He has very furry feet.
24:55Look how cute this one is.
24:57She got best breed.
24:59And the little girl at the front is another Selkirk Rex, but she's straight hair.
25:04Oh, OK.
25:04She's in the household pet section.
25:06OK.
25:07Because they don't have championship status.
25:09Oh, they're not pedigrees.
25:11They are pedigrees.
25:12Oh, yeah.
25:16Got him?
25:17Yeah.
25:18OK, that is a big cat.
25:19Eleven and a half kilos.
25:21I mean, really, I don't do weights, but I could with this.
25:24He's amazing.
25:25This is Brian.
25:27Full name is Laurie Coons, busy being fabulous.
25:30Brian has won the Supreme Household Pet.
25:33He's won Cat of the Year twice.
25:36How is he a household pet?
25:37Isn't he a pedigree?
25:37He is a pedigree, but where his coat isn't a clear silver, it's on the standard of points.
25:42He has to go in household pets.
25:44OK.
25:45And which ones?
25:45What's the difference?
25:47The difference is that the curly-capped jean, it's a curly cat, is noted, but the straight hair
25:53isn't noted.
25:54Isn't noted?
25:55No.
25:56No, they don't note it.
25:58Does a non-pedigree ever win Best in Show?
26:00They do.
26:01An underling cat.
26:02An under...
26:02Well, I can't say underdog.
26:04So, an underdog cat, if you like.
26:05An underdog cat.
26:06This is a red, silver-spotted oriental longer.
26:10Right.
26:11They should have a wedge head.
26:12A wedge head?
26:13What's a wedge head?
26:14Right.
26:14And the measurement between here and here and here should be about the same.
26:21It's a bit eugenics, and there's a tiny part of me that thinks, in the, you know,
26:26this is an odd sentence, nicest possible way, it's a bit Nazi.
26:29Checking for exactly this physical characteristic.
26:32Otherwise, it's not as good a cat as his other cat.
26:36I have to get my head round that, but that's okay.
26:44Hello again, Susan.
26:45How are you?
26:46Nice to see you again.
26:48So, so the sense I get is that I'm in Best of Breed, Lucy...
26:51Lucy, oh, sorry.
26:52Hey!
26:54This is David, the deal.
26:55Lovely to meet you.
26:56Yeah, and you.
26:57Good ears.
26:58Yeah.
26:59No, the ears.
27:00Yeah, on your head.
27:02They're natural.
27:02I don't make your actual ears.
27:03They're natural.
27:03Yeah.
27:07When a cat is untitled, the first thing it competes for is challenge certificates.
27:11They get three of those from three different judges.
27:12They're a champion.
27:13Yeah.
27:14And then champions then compete in the grand class, which is to become a grand champion,
27:18and once again, they need three grand challenge certificates.
27:21And once they've got grand champion, then they compete in the imperial class,
27:25for which they need five certificates.
27:27And then the final one is the Olympian, which has three levels, bronze, silver, and gold.
27:32Do you know, Susan, being with you is like being in a strange dream.
27:35Sorry.
27:36So, to try and make this clear, Lucy is basically in the semifinals,
27:41and if she gets through, she'll be in the final.
27:47What do we think?
27:48I'm not really expecting it, because she's so old.
27:51There's beauty in age, isn't there?
27:53Like a good wine.
27:56Do you know this judge?
27:57She's a good judge, but she's not particularly fond of Bengals, I don't think.
28:01Okay.
28:05That's a Sphinx, is it?
28:06She definitely likes the Sphinx, yeah.
28:08Okay.
28:09I think it's that one next to Lucy she's most interested in, I'm afraid, don't you?
28:18I think I have made my decision.
28:21Wow.
28:23And I'm going to give my winner first.
28:33Oh, what a moment.
28:35Oh, my God.
28:38Come on, Sue.
28:39Well done.
28:41Well done.
28:43Oh, Susan, congratulations.
28:44I couldn't believe I didn't think you were looking after.
28:48Would you like to be around?
28:50Yeah, go on.
28:50Lucy's made it through, which I'm finding very, very moving, except for one reason,
28:54which means it means I've probably got to be here for another hour.
29:08You're going up to the stage now, darling.
29:10I just can't believe it.
29:12Well, congratulations.
29:13It was a long shot, you thought.
29:15I didn't think she'd do it through.
29:16What about final?
29:17Did they get any chance at all?
29:18I'm not saying anything.
29:20She's done enough, but we'll see.
29:22Okay.
29:24I suppose we're staying here to film the final, then.
29:35So, the Supreme Cat Show was fun, but it didn't convince me of the point of pedigrees.
29:41A chewed ear, a wonky tail, an unsymmetrical ginger moustache that makes you look a bit like
29:48the dad from the wild thornberries.
29:51It all just adds character.
30:01I've got a cat called Richard Parker.
30:03He's only got one eye.
30:04He did get shot.
30:05Where'd you live?
30:06It was when I lived in Tooting.
30:08Oh, Tooting, right.
30:09I thought, well, does he live in the Bronx?
30:10No.
30:10Who is shooting cats in the eye?
30:14So, he was in a road accident.
30:16I can't even think about it.
30:17Tried to save the leg, did lots of operations, you know, couldn't save it.
30:22Bobbitt is really happy now.
30:23When you call him in the garden and say, Bobbitt, he runs so fast on his little three legs.
30:29Fonfer got a tumour in her front paw.
30:32We had a vote on it as to whether to put her down or let her live with three legs.
30:37I'm almost certain it was too all.
30:38I mean, it was a very tough decision.
30:39I think they went to penalties.
30:41Yeah, exactly.
30:42But the, not the ref, the vet.
30:46Don't say penalties.
30:47The vet had said to us, well, you know, in my experience, I know it's her foot,
30:51but it's not football.
30:52No, I know.
30:53She was really quite active with three legs.
30:55She lasted at least two or three more years.
30:57What's the cat called?
30:59Kevin.
30:59Why, Kevin?
31:00That's what Battersea called him.
31:02Oh, you got him as a rescue?
31:03Yeah.
31:03I thought you meant Battersea in general.
31:05No.
31:05There was a referendum.
31:06No.
31:07For a cat who came from Battersea to end up as the Prime Minister's cat, that's amazing.
31:13But what happened afterwards was loads of cats used to come to the garden and hang out with him.
31:18Really?
31:18So they were supportive of Richard Parker once he was one-eyed Richard Parker.
31:22Yeah.
31:22It's sort of like Bambi, but it starts with the shooting.
31:25Sorry for the spoilers.
31:27So I went into this shop.
31:28So I was trying to save his leg.
31:29And I said, can I get tissue salts for the cat?
31:32And I was getting homeopathy and all these natural treatments.
31:34And she was like, what's wrong with the cat?
31:37And I said, he's got a broken leg.
31:39And she looked at me like this and she went, you are going to the vets as well, aren't you?
31:44I said, yes.
31:46He's my first.
31:47I don't know if this is good or bad to admit.
31:49I think he might have to be my last because he's perfect.
31:52Got one eye.
31:53He's got one apart from the eye thing.
31:55Pickle was rescued in quite a bad environment.
31:57I think it was her, 14 other cats and a dog, just fending for themselves in this house with,
32:03like, just newspaper on the floor.
32:06Richard Parker's only eight.
32:07I've got a long, long time.
32:08As long as the person who doesn't come after him again, which is the end of the film,
32:11if it's a horror film or a thriller.
32:13The worry is he didn't know Richard Parker survived and now he's watching this show.
32:19That would be so terrible.
32:28So, thanks for joining us today, David.
32:30My pleasure.
32:33We're in our Ward 1 cattery.
32:35There's some lovely classical music on.
32:37Why is that?
32:38So, we play classical FM for all of our cats to keep them nice and calm.
32:42So, there's a lot of studies that show that it really does help.
32:44Really?
32:45Mozart, Bach.
32:46Absolutely, that's more of a dog's favourite, Bach.
32:48But, boom.
32:54So, we've got Parkin that we'd like to introduce you to, a kitten.
32:57If you want to go in, David.
32:59Parkin.
33:00He's a little bit nervy, so he might be a little bit shy, but he will let you pick him
33:04up.
33:06Oh, Parkin.
33:08Hang on, hang on.
33:09Oh, he's a wiggly one.
33:11Oh, there we go.
33:12Wait, oh, oh, Parkin.
33:14Oh, dear.
33:17Parkin, are you all right?
33:18Yeah, he'll be fine.
33:19Oh, Parkin.
33:22You can't see this, but he likes this.
33:25I mean, I don't like it, because I'm a bit uncomfortable.
33:29And I know that my bottom is too on camera.
33:31But you'll have to believe me, viewers.
33:34You know, he's loving this stroking.
33:37All right, so what else do we have here?
33:38So, let's have a look down here.
33:40We've got Penguin in here, and I think Penguin's hiding.
33:42Penguin is a black and white cat.
33:44Right.
33:44And we do find, not just black cats, that the black and white cats also are really hard
33:49to rehome.
33:49Why is that?
33:50It's simply because of their colour, which is crazy.
33:53I find a lot of people say they're not Instagrammable.
33:55The black cat?
33:56The black cat.
33:57Why?
33:57Because you can't get a good picture of them because of the light.
34:00Right.
34:00So, it's them.
34:01It's not the cat.
34:01Because if you're a good photographer, you can get an amazing picture of a black cat.
34:05Well, and also, having a cat isn't about Instagram.
34:07Absolutely, I know.
34:08And then the other thing is superstition as well.
34:10So, that still knocks about, that people think black cats are witches' cats?
34:14Yes.
34:14Is it superstition or sort of racism?
34:16Well, it is.
34:17It's cat racism, isn't it?
34:18It's cat racism.
34:18I've always said that.
34:20I'm glad you brought that up because it's true.
34:25We run a shelter for disabled cats mainly and kind of difficult and different ones.
34:29Yeah.
34:30And then we end up kind of keeping the ones that are too attached to you.
34:34Well, we think they had cats given up because people didn't do as well on social media as
34:37they thought they would.
34:38It was like, I thought I was going to get rich off this cat and it didn't happen.
34:41Humans come across badly from that.
34:42Humans come across badly a lot in this job.
34:46Bertie over there has got no eyes.
34:48Can we meet Bertie?
34:49Absolutely, go and say hi to Bertie.
34:52Okay, that is a brilliant looking cat.
34:55Isn't he gorgeous?
34:56It's a really rare genetic condition.
34:59It's called Diprosopus where the face starts to duplicate down the centre.
35:02Really?
35:03It's not really like a Siamese twin thing.
35:04It's his own DNA, but he's just kind of got the beginnings of two faces.
35:07So, basically, God was trying to create two Berties.
35:11Yeah, exactly.
35:12He looks a bit like, this may not mean anything to you, but Joe Budner, the boxer.
35:17This is Squiggle.
35:18She recently had a really dangerous fatal virus and she very nearly died,
35:23but one of our other cats gave her a blood transfusion and saved her life.
35:27This one is Puppet.
35:28Puppet, so Puppet's got one eye.
35:30Puppet's got one eye and she's only a year old, but she's somehow absolutely massive,
35:33which worked out quite well because when we needed the blood transfusion for Squiggle,
35:37we had to find a cat that was over four and a half kilos.
35:39Okay, so well done.
35:40So you saved Squiggle's life?
35:41Yeah, she did.
35:42With your fatness.
35:43So that's good.
36:13That's a very wobbly cat.
36:13Yes.
36:14She's a really twerky bum.
36:15If I was better at TikTok, I'd put her on there with some hip hop.
36:18I mean, that is unbelievable.
36:19Yeah, you really need someone to get in the edit and put some Beyoncé on that.
36:34She's fantastic.
36:35Yeah.
36:35She's survived against a lot of odds.
36:37There's a really old-fashioned view that wobbly cats should be put to sleep.
36:41And so the vet really, really wanted to put her to sleep and fought the vet nurse who really
36:46wanted to say, but I mean, I don't know, if you look at this cat, she's so full of life.
36:51I have never met a wobbly cat before, but it seemed to me that Bumble...
36:55Bumble.
36:56Bumble is not an unhappy cat.
36:57Bumble is the happiest boy ever to see.
36:58I'm not getting a sense that Squiggle's is an unhappy cat.
37:01Is wobbly cat something you've made up or is that a technical term?
37:04No, it's a real thing.
37:05It's a real term?
37:06Yeah.
37:06Okay.
37:06Yeah, wobbly cat syndrome it's known as because I think cerebellar hyperplasia is a bit of a mouthful.
37:11Okay.
37:12So tell me about this guy, Small Paul.
37:17He's absolutely great.
37:18He's got a brilliant kind of superhero mask face.
37:21Hello.
37:26Lovely.
37:29So he's your most successful cat on social media?
37:31He's definitely the most popular.
37:35And that's because he does a lot of jumping and...
37:37This is my favourite.
37:38It's the first one I ever got on camera.
37:41That's extraordinary.
37:43I'll tell you what it is.
37:44It's a fantastic bit of slapstick.
37:46That is honestly...
37:48Chapman would have been so happy with that.
37:50Small Paul's MRI looked like this.
37:55So that's small Paul's MRI looking like something from a Pixar movie.
38:01Looking essentially like the nightmare sequence of a cat in a Pixar movie.
38:07Excellent.
38:08You run a cat shelter.
38:10Yes.
38:11Is that here?
38:12We have a couple of rooms upstairs.
38:13They come in, they go into a pen with a few different rooms.
38:16They have like a little litter room and a bedroom and a food room kind of in a pen thing.
38:22Where do you sleep?
38:23We have separate bedrooms.
38:24You have separate bedrooms?
38:25Yeah.
38:25I'm a bit of an evangelist for that because I think you get a whole bed to yourself.
38:29So I've got a nice double bed, which is, you know, it is more room for cats, which is nice.
38:32Yeah.
38:32But also I have my electric blanket up high.
38:34I like to be nice and hot.
38:35Colin is covered in hair, so he's always, he's always boiling.
38:39Right.
38:39So he likes his bedroom nice and cool.
38:41And so that doesn't really work.
38:42Honestly, since separate bedrooms, everybody sleeps so much better.
38:46And then sometimes we have little sleepovers.
38:48Yeah.
38:49Are you happy with that, Colin?
38:50Yeah, yeah.
38:51You're not actually a cat, you know that, right?
38:53I mean...
38:54Okay, because I think you're trying to make a cat out of him.
38:57Because when he's covered in fur and he's got whiskers.
38:59Well, look, I have to have a reason why they prefer him to me.
39:02Okay, it's become a kind of drama.
39:04It's become kind of like a marital play for today.
39:06I mean, I mean...
39:08Anyway.
39:10Cuts, that's a wrap.
39:21So one of the points of this polemic, it is a polemic, in case that's not clear,
39:25about how there's not enough or any shows for cat lovers on TV,
39:31is that it's really not just me who loves cats.
39:43Do you have a favorite internet cat?
39:45I love Merv.
39:46Merv the cat.
39:46Merv is a cat in America who is one of those, sort of, spooky cats that's constantly bristling.
39:52Oh.
39:53Oh my God.
39:54Merv didn't come in the way.
39:56Wah, wah, wah, wah.
39:57And sort of walks like a crab and screams and jumps up the walls and is very, sort of, highly
40:02strung.
40:04It's like a Siamese cat and it makes insane sounds.
40:08Frank Skinner, I had a cat with who we call Chairman Meow, which I'm still proud of.
40:13That's a good name for a cat.
40:14Adolf Kittler.
40:15Pretty good as well, but I can't have that, obviously.
40:18That's complicated.
40:18That's complicated for me.
40:21What's the biggest misconception about cats?
40:23They're arrogant and aloof.
40:24Cold and standoffish.
40:26I think they're just independent.
40:27Something with Goebbels in it might be fine.
40:29Right.
40:29I can't think of any.
40:31I'm not saying cats are evil.
40:32I think the word I'm after is sinister.
40:34Poor man.
40:35Martin Poorman.
40:36Poor man, excellent.
40:37Well done.
40:37Up until recently, people haven't given cats the credit that they deserve in their emotional ability.
40:44They can feel jealousy.
40:45They can feel huge affection for their cat parents.
40:50They also can grieve.
40:51I think the biggest misconception about cats is the amount of people who think they don't
40:55like cats having spent no time with cats.
40:57I just like that sentence because it had the word cats in it so much.
41:00Yeah, so many times that you're like, I don't know what you said, but I'm pleased with it.
41:04I'm married.
41:05I don't need someone else in the house who's being aloof, distant, and slightly hostile.
41:11Yeah, you know, not all women are like that either.
41:12It's like they're like cats in that respect.
41:14Right, it's over now because now I'm just thinking of Nazis.
41:16I'm just thinking of Nazis.
41:17Hiss.
41:18Yeah, Rudolph hiss.
41:19Rudolph hiss.
41:22This is an interesting thing with our cats.
41:25She's more interested in our water than her own.
41:30Sue me, I have a pint of water of an evening when I watch TV.
41:33A pint of water, lovely.
41:34Yeah.
41:35She will drink from that.
41:36Okay.
41:37I mean, cats are 90% asshole, which is kind of why they're amazing.
41:41Every way, from any angle, you're like, there's still more butthole.
41:44I can't understand.
41:46Literally, like, you turn around, they're like, here's my whole ass.
41:49This is something that other people find problematic.
41:52I can't be bothered to then change the water.
41:55So you just carry on drinking from it.
41:57Well, you know what people are mainly thinking, don't you?
42:00Let's just say it.
42:01People are mainly thinking that cat has licked its asshole.
42:03It's probably got flecks of poo on its tongue.
42:07But it's homeopathic.
42:09By the time it's got into the water, we're looking at homeopathic levels of cat food.
42:14I think there's a class element to it.
42:16I think cats are quite middle class, where I think dogs are working class and upper class.
42:22Yes, I agree with that.
42:24Yeah, working class and upper class, like Brexit in that respect.
42:29Yeah.
42:30One thing I really like about cats is when you talk about dogs, I think, yeah, dogs are like that.
42:35And then you make something about cats, and what I think is, no, that depends on the cat.
42:38They're not very homogenous.
42:40Every dog is different.
42:41I'm enjoying doing this, because this is something you often do.
42:43You make a theory and you assume, because you've made it, that you've hit upon some universal truth,
42:49when in fact you just haven't done the work.
42:51Yeah.
42:52I'm more than happy to share my water with a cat.
42:55Right.
42:55Not in a Lady and the Tramp kind of both at the same time way.
43:04We're going back to the national cat show of the Supreme Fondant Fancy, or whatever it's called,
43:10one last time, because Susan's moment, and more importantly Lucy's, had finally come.
43:29Lucy, Lucy, I think you should play your cards quite close to your chest,
43:34and watch out for any non-pedigories stealing anywhere around the wings.
43:39Four, five, three, the pedigree pet, male neuter.
43:47Lot of rosettes.
43:49It's a rosette orgy, this place.
43:52If you've been here all day, the fact that there's somehow other categories appearing from nowhere,
43:59it's incredible.
44:00Four, five, three, the pedigree pet, long hair male.
44:09Best furry, furry fluff.
44:12Best cat that goes outside and comes back in again.
44:15None of us have understood how many categories there are in this show.
44:18I mean, we arrived, I think, sometime in October, and it might now be 2027.
44:25So our best in show, household pet, adults.
44:30Peanut butter may have been a mistake.
44:35We have the winner of section four, pen 337.
44:39Yay!
44:39That is Lucy, Susan is over there.
44:42Winner of section five, pen number 383.
44:45How do you think it's going?
44:47Well, it's standing really well.
44:49At the moment Lucy, clearly thinking, I've got the experience, I just need to hold the line.
44:56Lucy, wait.
44:57We're going to send back the cat from section three.
45:07Lucy's still in there.
45:09It's very exciting.
45:10Next to go back is the cat from section four.
45:16Oh.
45:21What a disaster.
45:23Never mind.
45:24So an incredible run.
45:25Oh, I'm okay with it.
45:27She enjoyed her day and she behaved absolutely beautifully.
45:30She'd like to go home.
45:30And like me, she's the king.
45:32It was great, but enough already.
45:34Yes.
45:36I feel this is beneath your pay grade.
45:39But I'm going to give Lucy a rosette as the best cat in the cat man world.
45:45In the cat man show.
45:46Oh, bless you.
45:47So there you go.
45:48Best in show.
45:49Thank you so much.
45:50That was really kind.
45:51My pleasure.
45:53Thanks so much.
45:54That's a great consolation prize.
45:57Thanks David.
46:01So there we are.
46:02Lucy won Baddiel's best in show.
46:05Which to be honest, was no less arbitrary or random a prize than any other on offer.
46:11Because as I think I might have mentioned, all cats are beautiful.
46:15And you can't have too many of them.
46:18Tune in next week for even more.
46:22He does have a really calm, protective aura.
46:25There are certain patients that he chooses.
46:28Hello.
46:29My pleasure.
46:30How many cats have you been recording?
46:3222.
46:32You'll always have some.
46:34Right now, I'm quite near fainting.
46:37Oh no.
46:38Nippy.
46:43And that's at the same time next week.
46:45Seeing crime in a different way.
46:47Police drama, Patience is streaming right now.
46:50And if you want to see the cast of the show being interviewed while surrounded by cats,
46:55amazingly, you actually can.
46:57It's on our For The Drama YouTube channel.
47:00Just search Patience Hot Seat.
47:01And it is Cats Does Countdown next.
47:04tax is
47:04.
Comments