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Short filmTranscript
00:00That's a shocking start.
00:04Tom!
00:12Yep, that's it.
00:14Where's Tom?
00:22No!
00:24I hate you.
00:26Let me out of here!
00:38Hello, welcome to Taskmaster,
00:40or as the oldies know it,
00:42the gritty reboot of Burjo's catchphrase.
00:44Or as the youth know it,
00:46the woke remake of Hot Dogs Up Late.
00:48Or as you and I know it,
00:50the season finale.
00:52Racing towards the end of the competition for arbitrary glory
00:58and a yellow highlight around their name
01:00on this season's Wikipedia entry are...
01:02Dave Hughes!
01:04Emma Holland!
01:06Lisa McCune!
01:08Takashi Wakasugi!
01:10And Tony Little!
01:12Hello!
01:14And next to me,
01:16the guy who wasn't sure about working for Channel 10
01:18because back in the day,
01:20Cheese TV was too rude for him.
01:22It's Tom Cashman.
01:24How are you, mate?
01:26Not bad, now I've got this.
01:28Yeah, you've really committed, haven't you?
01:30Yeah.
01:31I think now people are finally going to take me seriously.
01:34Okay.
01:35Not in general.
01:36Just when I say the phrase,
01:37I wouldn't touch that with a ten-foot pole.
01:40Because most people, when they say that phrase,
01:42people think, well, they don't have a ten-foot pole.
01:44Because when I say it, people are going to think,
01:46I've heard he actually has one at home.
01:48It's not bad.
01:49But do you think we should start the show again
01:51without you holding it?
01:52Just in case.
01:53Just, just so we've got options.
01:55Like, seriously, don't encourage him.
01:57I'm sorry.
01:58I'm sorry.
01:59I'm sorry.
02:00I'm sorry.
02:01I'm sorry.
02:02I'm sorry.
02:03I'm sorry.
02:04I'm sorry.
02:05I'm sorry.
02:06I'm sorry.
02:07I'm sorry.
02:08I'm sorry.
02:09I'm sorry.
02:10I'm sorry.
02:11I'm sorry.
02:12I'm sorry.
02:13I'm sorry.
02:14OK, let's have the last prize task for the season, please.
02:18Of course, our first task is a prize task.
02:20Each of our contestants have brought in a prize,
02:22and the winner of tonight's episode
02:23will take home all five of those prizes.
02:25Tonight, our contestants have brought in
02:27what they consider to be
02:28the most satisfying thing to throw into the Grand Canyon.
02:32Ooh.
02:33Tommy, what have you brought in?
02:34Uh, mine's pretty self-explanatory.
02:39Yeah, you all get it. Let's move on.
02:41I don't get it.
02:43What is it?
02:44I did the Celebrity Grand Prix,
02:45and I broke the record for most number of cars written off.
02:48Oh.
02:49And they told me I wasn't allowed to take any pieces of the cars,
02:52but because I rode off so many,
02:53they couldn't keep track of them all.
02:54So, that's a bit I have.
02:57And I thought there's been plenty of scenes in movies
02:58where people have driven cars, like, into the Grand Canyon,
03:01but no-one's just thrown a bit.
03:07Did you bring this in just so you could mention
03:09you did the Celebrity Grand Prix?
03:10Yeah, amongst other reasons, yeah.
03:12Okay.
03:13It's not that big a deal. I've done it.
03:14Have you done it?
03:15I've done it, absolutely.
03:16Lisa McKeon, have you done it?
03:17No.
03:18Okay.
03:19Why aren't you asking me if I've done it?
03:20Ooh.
03:21Do you do your profile?
03:24She's on the way up, though.
03:25If they bring it back, she'll be in there.
03:27I'm on the way up.
03:28And I'll be waving and going,
03:29can I come for a bright?
03:32I wouldn't touch it with a ten-foot pole.
03:40Waka, what did you bring in?
03:41Yes.
03:42I bought a silicon.
03:44Silicon.
03:45Okay.
03:46So, I went out with the silicon to the Grand Canyon.
03:51You wait for a few, like 20 minutes, half an hour.
03:54Get, and the silicon gonna get hard, right?
03:57And then...
04:00You can play Lego.
04:04So you want to take a mould of the canyon?
04:06Yeah.
04:07And then pull it out and create a mountain range?
04:09Yeah.
04:10It's kind of cool.
04:12It's a bit weird, but it's cool.
04:16Uh, Lisa.
04:17I have, uh, a lot of, um, manuals at home for items,
04:22you know, um, electronics, televisions,
04:24and I would happily throw them all into the Grand Canyon.
04:27That first one's an instruction manual for a toaster?
04:30Yeah.
04:31I know, yeah.
04:32It might have some interesting functions that you might need to,
04:35uh, and safety warnings and things,
04:37but you can get them all online now, so...
04:39You need instructions for a toaster,
04:40because, you know, sometimes it's like one to ten,
04:42and you're like, is that ten, like, high in temperature
04:44or high in time?
04:45Oh, my God, we get it.
04:46You have a rich person toaster.
04:49Well, you know, improve your comedy
04:51and you can get there, too.
04:58Dane?
04:59Uh, I brought in a big piano.
05:02It's been my wife's family for generations.
05:06Hang on, you brought in a rocking horse?
05:08Yeah.
05:09I'm getting rid of some shit, I can tell you.
05:11So, but this one...
05:12Hang on, are you just getting rid of your wife's items?
05:15Well, I could win her back if I win the episode!
05:20But honestly, that is in our, what we call the toy room,
05:23and I want a table tennis table in there,
05:25so, um, let's get rid of that one.
05:27So...
05:29Uh, Emma?
05:31Um, the thing I think that would be most satisfying
05:33to throw into the Grand Canyon is the evidence.
05:37Oh!
05:44Uh, the evidence of what?
05:46None of your business, mate.
05:48I feel like that's the end of a very long project.
05:52It's so satisfying just to be, like, all done.
05:56Okay, well, I should give out some scores.
05:58Yes, please.
05:59Um, most of them were just using the Grand Canyon as a bin.
06:02So, starting at the bottom, I'm going to go with Tommy Little,
06:06with one, just for a piece of car.
06:07Yep.
06:08Uh, that he wants to throw in there.
06:09Then Lisa's two points, because it's some old used manuals,
06:11and also I kind of feel like they should go in the paper bin.
06:14Okay.
06:15Recycling.
06:16Three points to Husey for the piano,
06:17because, again, he's just trying to get rid of some junk.
06:19But then we move into fruity territory, which is, uh, their specialty.
06:22So I'm going to give four points to Emma
06:24for trying to get rid of the evidence, because it was creative.
06:26But five points to Waka, because he's a fruit bat,
06:28he's going to take a mould of the entire Grand Canyon.
06:35Okay, how about before we go any further,
06:37you give us a series score update, Lesser Tom.
06:39In last place we have Dave on 115 points.
06:42Next up we have Lisa on 130 points.
06:44Tommy on 133.
06:45Waka's on 146.
06:47But out in front at the moment is Emma Holland
06:49with 161 points for the season.
06:51Okay, well, time to kick it off.
06:56A task please, Lesser Tom.
06:57It's our final team task for the season.
07:13Where do we go?
07:14Where is he?
07:15Where's our Tom?
07:16Where's our Tom?
07:17Oh!
07:18Cool!
07:19Oh my God!
07:20Jesus!
07:21Shit!
07:24Oh my gosh!
07:25This is quick.
07:26This is quick.
07:27We can't mark about here.
07:28Do you want me to do the aggressive?
07:30Yeah.
07:31Charge!
07:32Your charge must strike fear into your enemy.
07:35Your charge will be played back in super slow motion.
07:39Charge that most strikes fear into an enemy wins.
07:43A bonus point will be given...
07:44To the most formidable enemy.
07:46You have 45 minutes.
07:47Your time starts now.
07:48Your time starts now.
07:49You know the first thing I think of when I think of super slow motion is I think of Matt Shervington sprinting.
07:54Do you remember the package shot?
07:56That's me?
07:57You remember.
07:59I mean, do you know what we could do?
08:01What?
08:02What are you doing?
08:03Yeah.
08:04I think I wanna charge something big.
08:05Global warming?
08:06Global warming!
08:07That's great.
08:08We've got an idea, Matt.
08:09None of your business.
08:10Blah!
08:11Plenty more where that came from, mate.
08:12Blah!
08:13Blah!
08:14Don't give him too much.
08:15Alright, should we do global warming then?
08:16Yeah, that's a great idea.
08:17It's so boring!
08:18Oh, Tommy!
08:19Why would I have a picture of Matt Shervington now?
08:20You can still have your dick out.
08:21You can still do it.
08:22You can still do it.
08:23Let's do global warming then!
08:24Okay!
08:25Okay, so the teams are back, so we've got the aged team and the better team.
08:28And so, all we're really doing is just looking for the best interpretation of what an EPIC charge should be.
08:41Okay, so the teams are back, so we've got the aged team and the better team.
08:46And so all we're really doing is just looking for the best interpretation of what an epic
08:51charge should be.
08:53Charge that most trucks fear into an enemy wins, and there's a bonus point for the most
08:56formidable enemy.
08:57Okay, which team is first?
08:59It's Waka, Emma and Tommy.
09:11I've lost my dick!
09:31I've lost my dick!
09:40Oh no, wow, this is really making me rethink my actions.
10:08Still unhappy we went with the whole global warming thing.
10:17I think you look pretty happy.
10:19Yeah.
10:20No, this is me unhappy.
10:21Oh.
10:22Lucky man.
10:23Good to see the straightforward comedy of Tommy Little has returned.
10:33So let me get it straight.
10:36So Waka was hydroelectricity.
10:38Yep.
10:39Emma was solar power.
10:40Yep.
10:41And Tommy was the host of Sunrise.
10:42That's a renewable.
10:43Solar.
10:44Yeah.
10:45And if I spin fast enough, it's a wind turbine.
10:51Do you think anyone watching after that will rethink their contribution to global warming?
10:56Yeah, Greta Sundberg.
10:57Yeah.
10:58How dare you!
10:59Oi!
11:00You're not usually good at impersonation, but that one.
11:01Oh my god, was that supposed to be Greta?
11:02Was that supposed to be Greta?
11:03Was that supposed to be Greta?
11:04That was going to be how very dare you.
11:05Oh my god.
11:06That's...
11:07Oh no.
11:08Okay, so you're hydroelectricity, Waka?
11:09Yeah.
11:10Water is everything, you know?
11:11Very important.
11:12You make energy and I'm very happy to put water to the tongue.
11:14Yeah.
11:15You didn't to me.
11:16Oh, true.
11:17A few episodes ago, I was throwing water bombs at you.
11:18Oh, I see.
11:19It was revenge.
11:20Yeah.
11:21It was revenge.
11:22Yeah.
11:23It was revenge that took place before the thing that you're referring to.
11:24I tried to fake callback.
11:25Mm.
11:26Okay.
11:27It was good.
11:29It was good.
11:30All right.
11:31Well, we might need to improve our fortifications and garrison some more archers.
11:35We'll take a break and see you back in the stronghold after this.
11:49And we'll see you back in the stronghold after this.
12:04Welcome back to Taskmaster, where we're in the midst of our final team task.
12:09That's right.
12:10Our contestants in teams are giving us their most fear-inspiring charge.
12:13Tommy, Waka and Emma just did one to end global warming.
12:16Now, it's Lisa and Dave's turn.
12:18What's going on?
12:19Sit down, mate.
12:20We've got five minutes and 30 seconds left.
12:21Yeah, come on.
12:22Sit down.
12:23Sit on that.
12:24No, that would hurt.
12:25No, get off that.
12:26Sit down.
12:27You pretend to be ineffectual.
12:28You pretend to be weak.
12:29You pretend to be no threat.
12:30Reef not.
12:31Sure.
12:32Yeah.
12:33You're gonna cop it.
12:34What have I done?
12:35Come on, we've got three minutes.
12:36Let's go.
12:37But you know what, Tom?
12:38No.
12:39You're not our biggest enemy.
12:40The real enemy will be revealed to you and everyone else.
12:55Look, Tom.
12:56It's the other Tom.
12:57You, who are meant to protect him, will be powerless when we...
13:02We're running out of time.
13:03We're really running out of time.
13:04We're gonna go.
13:05We're going away!
13:06We're running out of time.
13:07We're really running out of time.
13:08We're gonna go.
13:09Ha!
13:10Ha!
13:11Ha!
13:12Ha!
13:13Ha!
13:14Ha!
13:15Ha!
13:16Ha!
13:17Ha!
13:18Ha!
13:19Ha!
13:20Ha!
13:21Ha!
13:22Ha!
13:25The doctor is on her!
13:27Ha!
13:28Ha!
13:31Ha!
13:32Ha ha!
13:33Ha!
13:34Okay, it's time to blow him.
13:38It's time!
13:39Get out of the way!
13:40It's time!
13:41You don't want to go down with him!
13:42It's going to happen!
13:43It's going to happen!
13:44Go!
13:45One!
13:46Three!
13:47I think you're hanging it.
13:51You're good.
14:00Okay.
14:01Good to see the return of evil Lisa McKeown.
14:09That was amazing!
14:10Honestly, we need another ten episodes.
14:14We're just warming up, baby.
14:16I think the bald was an inspired choice.
14:18I think you look great.
14:19You looked like Eminem in 8 Mile.
14:21That's a very popular recording artist.
14:27The more you- It felt like a bit of a personal attack on me too.
14:34Did you not stop to think that you were making the enemy the person who was going to judge
14:38the task?
14:39Yeah, but really it was a compliment to you.
14:43So I've got to judge this.
14:46I'm looking for the greatest charge.
14:48Charge that most strikes fear into an enemy wins.
14:50Okay.
14:51Well, I mean I watched two of them and I must say seeing two people in their fifties just
14:56run towards you is frightening.
14:59And also watching two people with really high profiles who don't even need to be on
15:04this program acting in such a desperate fashion is fear inducing.
15:11I'm worried it might be my future.
15:13And also I'm just not that intimidated by Shervo.
15:17So I'm going to go 5-5-3-3-3.
15:21Okay.
15:23You're a legend.
15:24You did it.
15:25You were a legend.
15:26We also need one bonus point for most formidable enemy.
15:28Well, so it's either me or global warming.
15:31Yep.
15:32That's easy.
15:33It's me.
15:34Okay.
15:35Yes.
15:36Because as we all know global warming's a hoax.
15:39It's not even real.
15:42All right.
15:47What's the score for the episode?
15:48Well, Tommy's in last place with four points, but can you believe it?
15:51Dave's out in front on nine points.
15:56Call me Blunt, but all I can think to say is TASK!
15:59Okay, Mr. Blunt, it's time to get small.
16:01It's time to get small.
16:02Welcome to the music.
16:03It sounds good.
16:03I'm not locked.
16:04Now, we're on Friday.
16:05Come back.
16:06Bye.
16:08Bye.
16:09Bye.
16:10Bye.
16:10Bye.
16:11Bye.
16:12Bye.
16:13Bye.
16:14Bye.
16:15Bye.
16:16Bye.
16:17Bye.
16:18Bye.
16:18Bye.
16:19Bye.
16:20Bye.
16:21Bye.
16:22Bye.
16:23Bye.
16:24Bye.
16:25Bye.
16:26Bye.
16:27Bye.
16:28Bye.
16:29Bye.
16:30Please.
16:32Complete the tiny worded task.
16:35There are 50 other tasks around the house.
16:38The tiny worded task is somewhere in the house.
16:42And it will be obvious what it is.
16:44For reference, this is a normal size worded task.
16:49If you open an incorrect task before moving on...
16:52You must do what it asks of you using a tiny voice.
16:55Fastest win. Your time starts now.
17:00This looks like a tiny task right here.
17:03This is not the task. Discipline yourself in your tiny voice before continuing.
17:08You have to discipline yourself in the tiny voice.
17:10You don't have to read the task in a tiny voice.
17:14Be better.
17:17Dickhead.
17:18So I'm good, yeah. So keep moving. Keep moving.
17:23Okay, so you have to find the tiny worded task
17:25and then follow the instructions of any other task
17:27you happen to find along the way.
17:30And open, yes.
17:31Okay. All right. Cashman, in the spirit of the task,
17:33introduce it with a tiny number of words.
17:35Emma.
17:36Tommy.
17:37Dave.
17:38Go.
17:39Oh, no.
17:40What?
17:41There's heaps.
17:42There's 50.
17:43There's 50.
17:44Here we go.
17:46Nag yourself in your tiny voice before continuing.
17:49Loser, loser, loser.
17:51Will you ever be a winner, winner, winner?
17:54This is not the task. Rebuke yourself in your tiny voice.
17:57You're a piece of shit, Emma.
18:00This is not the task.
18:02Criticise yourself in your tiny voice before continuing.
18:04The reading doesn't have to be in the tiny voice.
18:06But it can be, right?
18:07It can be.
18:08Yeah.
18:09Even your tiny voice sucks, you little man.
18:10Tiny little man with a tiny little cock.
18:12Decry yourself.
18:13Rez yourself in your tiny voice.
18:15Rebuke yourself in your tiny voice before continuing.
18:18This is all the same task.
18:19Is it anywhere in the house?
18:21Not just in here?
18:22I can move.
18:23I'm gonna move.
18:24Not that bit of the house.
18:25This way.
18:26The bit that we film in.
18:27I don't know where we film.
18:29Oh!
18:30I'm not even gonna open these ones.
18:32I think it might be this one.
18:33I'm gonna value myself.
18:34Six Australian dollars.
18:37Scold yourself in your tiny voice before continuing.
18:39You are a loser.
18:41They're right on the internet.
18:44Demigrate yourself in your tiny voice before continuing.
18:47Maybe if you're more regular with your skincare routine,
18:49you wouldn't get eczema as much.
18:51Wambass yourself in your tiny little voice before continuing.
18:55You have BDR.
18:58Jesus Christ, this is bad for my self-esteem.
19:01You suck at being a human.
19:03You've never made anyone proud of you in your life.
19:05You have testicles weird.
19:06Your feet have fungus.
19:07You've made many people miserable.
19:09Especially in the bedroom.
19:10There's no way I'm gonna get through all 50.
19:12Oh my god.
19:13Your arms are too thin.
19:14You should've stuck with the counting.
19:16What a total waste of oxygen you are!
19:20If you carried a knife right now, you'd look like Chucky.
19:23You're doing crap at this and you're gonna get another last place.
19:27Think.
19:29Breathe.
19:31After all the self-criticism.
19:33I don't think it's helped, mate.
19:34I need to talk myself up.
19:36You can do this.
19:37Believe in yourself.
19:38Thanks, Dave.
19:39Is that it?
19:40This is not the task.
19:41Revile yourself in a tiny voice.
19:42You always look so smug.
19:43It's cause I have reason to.
19:44What?
19:45I pride yourself in a tiny voice.
19:46Well done.
19:47After all that criticism.
19:48All I have to do was talk myself up.
19:50What happened?
19:51Thanks, Tommy.
19:52I don't understand.
19:53No.
19:54No.
19:55No.
19:56No.
19:57No.
19:58No.
19:59No.
20:00No.
20:01No.
20:02No.
20:03No.
20:04No.
20:05No.
20:06No.
20:07No.
20:08No.
20:09No.
20:10No.
20:11No.
20:12No.
20:13No.
20:14No.
20:15You completed the task.
20:18OK.
20:19Thank you, Tom.
20:21Appreciate it.
20:22Thanks, Dave.
20:23I can do it.
20:24I did it!
20:25I did it!
20:26Well.
20:27I did it, man.
20:32I thought it was a great insight into your internal monologues.
20:36You all had a lot to say about yourselves.
20:38What were you inspired by, Tommy?
20:40I had a lot to work with.
20:41So I think I just started at the top and worked my way down and picked an insult for each
20:48bit of the body.
20:49Um, so, uh, Dave, it genuinely seemed like you went to a bit of a dark place.
20:54Um, are you okay?
20:56I worked through some issues, and, um, I've got some more Dave Hughes quotes.
21:00Yep.
21:01Oh God.
21:02Yucky, yucky, yucky.
21:03That's you.
21:04Your skin is so easily sunburned.
21:10You never did get to six foot in height, just like your auntie said.
21:14So, Emma, I'm glad you said that smugness wasn't an insult, by the way.
21:20No, smugness was an insult, but then she followed that up by saying that she has a reason to
21:23feel smug.
21:24I still don't understand what's just happened.
21:27So basically, your time ended when you bigged yourself up.
21:30Yeah, you just had to talk yourself up after talking yourself down so long.
21:33It's pretty simple.
21:34But where was that written?
21:35In the tiny world of tasks.
21:36Yeah.
21:37So what were the times?
21:38Tommy, it took you ten minutes and forty seconds to complete the task.
21:41Tommy completed it because he thought the word upbraid had a different meaning.
21:45Upbraid means to find fault with or scold.
21:48Emma completed the task in thirteen minutes and three seconds.
21:51Hughesy took thirty minutes and seven seconds.
21:54Okay.
21:55Let's move on.
21:58We've still got a tiny task to find.
22:00Next up is Lisa.
22:01Your time starts now.
22:02What?
22:03Was that there before?
22:04Oh.
22:05Oh my God.
22:06Oh my God.
22:07A false wall.
22:08Might need a magnifying glass.
22:09Big up yourself.
22:10You deserve it.
22:11Fastest wins.
22:12Your time started when you entered the room.
22:13Big up yourself.
22:14I don't understand.
22:15What does that mean, Tom?
22:19Big up yourself.
22:20Big up yourself.
22:21What does that mean, Tom?
22:22Big up yourself.
22:23Like big yourself up.
22:24Like make yourself bigger.
22:25Yeah, in an emotional sense.
22:26Oh, okay.
22:27So I can just do that now.
22:28So I can just kind of go, I'm bigger.
22:29Thanks Lisa.
22:30Thanks Lisa.
22:31Is it over?
22:32What?
22:33It's just starting to get good.
22:34That's it.
22:35Really?
22:36There's no more.
22:37Okay.
22:38Oh.
22:39Big up yourself.
22:40Big up yourself.
22:41Oh.
22:42Oh.
22:43Oh.
22:44Oh.
22:45Oh.
22:46Oh.
22:47Oh.
22:48Oh.
22:49Oh.
22:50Oh.
22:51Oh.
22:52Oh.
22:53Oh.
22:54Oh.
22:55Oh.
22:56Oh.
22:57Oh.
22:58Oh.
22:59I still don't understand.
23:03Well you, you found the task straight away, but then you, you wasted valuable seconds
23:09before you big upped yourself.
23:11Did, did you not know what the expression to big up yourself means or was it cause it
23:15lacked context cause you hadn't said anything bad about yourself yet?
23:19That one.
23:20Because I didn't see any of the tiny tasks really.
23:22So you didn't open one tiny task?
23:23No.
23:24You're so humble you don't even know what big up yourself means.
23:27I've never heard like I, I know the term of like up yourself.
23:31Yeah.
23:32But I've never heard anybody say big up yourself.
23:34I feel like she's never been up herself.
23:36I'm up myself.
23:37Say something about yourself that's good.
23:39What's, what's something you like about yourself?
23:40Oh, there's so much.
23:41I'm a really great mum.
23:42I'm a great friend.
23:43Even after that my favourite, uh, way to big up yourself now is going.
23:47I'm bigger.
23:51Well I think that we need to know how well Lisa did.
23:58So Lisa read the task in 1 minute and 23 seconds after entering the room.
24:03Uh, but because she didn't understand what big up yourself meant, it took her 3 minutes
24:07and 22 seconds to complete the task.
24:09Still pretty good.
24:10Still pretty good.
24:11Really happy with that.
24:12Alright, time for an ad break.
24:13What's been on your living room wall this whole time that you haven't noticed?
24:16And why did the eyes on that painting just move?
24:19Back soon.
24:33Welcome back to the season finale of Classmaster.
24:36Now don't be sad, it's nearly over.
24:38Be happy that it happened.
24:40Where are we Lisa Tom?
24:41We're in the middle of a task.
24:42Our contestants had to find a tiny worded task printed on very big paper, then follow
24:47its instructions to big themselves up.
24:49Lisa so far is the only person to have found this task.
24:52Next up, will Waka be pulling a shaka in this one?
24:56Hello Tom Tom.
24:57Hi Waka.
25:00Did it change?
25:02Did you see that?
25:06I told you I already feel something.
25:08Strong power from there.
25:11Fair enough.
25:12Something there.
25:13Alright, can I open this one?
25:14Yes please.
25:15Your time starts now.
25:17Alright, so this is a normal sized task.
25:19That's normal.
25:20And this is a big one.
25:21I don't have to open, right?
25:22I can touch.
25:23I don't have to open.
25:24You know, I just, I can tell the size.
25:2550, 50.
25:26Okay, this is one.
25:27I can find out.
25:28That's small.
25:29But it's not the smallest, I can tell.
25:31You're looking for a tiny worded task.
25:34Tiny words.
25:35So maybe, this task has small tiny words.
25:43Alright.
25:45In the house, it will be obvious.
25:49That's a hint.
25:50It will be obvious.
25:51So, I might look for downstairs.
25:54Here too.
25:55Here too.
25:56Here too.
25:57Here too.
25:58Okay.
25:59Very confusing.
26:01Somewhere in the house.
26:03Do you have any, like, house, small house toy or something like that?
26:07House toy.
26:08Small house.
26:10Small house.
26:11There's no house.
26:12There's no house.
26:13There's no house.
26:14Moo.
26:15Moo?
26:16Moo.
26:17I just say moo.
26:18Why?
26:19There's no meanings.
26:20Oh.
26:21I think now is the time I should open one.
26:22I think there's some hint there.
26:23So I'm going to open this.
26:24Okay.
26:25Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
26:26Mmm.
26:27Is this?
26:28Is this tiny?
26:29Tiny words.
26:30Big up yourself.
26:31You deserve to be a little bit.
26:32I'm sorry.
26:33I'm sorry.
26:34I'm sorry.
26:35I'm sorry.
26:36I'm sorry.
26:37I'm sorry.
26:38I'm sorry.
26:39I'm sorry.
26:40I'm sorry.
26:41I'm sorry.
26:42I'm sorry.
26:43I'm sorry.
26:44I'm sorry.
26:45I'm sorry.
26:46I'm sorry.
26:47Big up yourself.
26:48You deserve it.
26:49Oh, okay.
26:50Alright.
26:51Oh.
26:52And we're strong.
26:53Beautiful.
26:54Now, just to be clear, we'll all remember, Waka, that portrait has been freaking you out
27:05for the whole series.
27:06I know.
27:07Every time you walk into that room and see that picture, it freaks you out.
27:10Why is that?
27:11It's a pressure.
27:12Lots of pressure.
27:13You have to, you know, your eyes, you have to be good.
27:16You have to be funny.
27:17You almost found it straight away.
27:18You pointed at it.
27:19Yeah.
27:20I was even, you felt the energy.
27:21I was sending you vibes through.
27:23Yeah.
27:24Through the picture and you didn't pick it up.
27:26Yeah.
27:27I should believe myself more.
27:30Well, that's, I feel like that's been happening to you throughout the series.
27:33You're such a lateral thinker that if something just, if you deem it too obvious, so you just
27:38don't go for it.
27:39That's taskmaster disease.
27:41Yeah.
27:42Well, I feel like we need a time and, because I mean, I still don't really know where they
27:51all land.
27:52Well, I'll tell you one time, Waka noticed the tiny worded task in five seconds, but
27:58took 19 minutes and 14 seconds to complete it.
28:02So one point to Dave, two points to Waka, three to Emma, four to Tommy, and Lisa wins the
28:11task with five points.
28:12I know.
28:13You should have to be really unhappy.
28:14All right.
28:15This train's rolling on.
28:16Give me another.
28:17The next task is about comfort zones.
28:19For example, my comfort zone is zone three.
28:21What about theirs?
28:22Come in.
28:23Hello.
28:24Hello.
28:25Hello.
28:26Oh, this is lovely.
28:27Oh.
28:28Cozy.
28:29Coffee.
28:30Yum.
28:31Hot chocolate.
28:32Vegan.
28:33There is milk powder in the cocoa.
28:34So I don't think you can drink it, unfortunately.
28:35It's aggressive.
28:36A little feathers.
28:37Come in. Hello.
28:44Hello. Oh, this is lovely.
28:49Aw. Cozy.
28:52Coffee. Yum. Hot chocolate.
28:55Vegan. There is milk powder in the cocoa,
28:59so I don't think you can drink it, unfortunately.
29:02It's aggressive. A lot of feathers.
29:05I put it here, in case.
29:10Get out of your comfort zone.
29:12Most out of their comfort zone wins.
29:16Your out-of-comfort zone must not endanger your life.
29:20You have 20 minutes. Your time starts now.
29:23Don't drink.
29:26I mean, the cow's already milked, isn't it?
29:28So this gets me out of my comfort zone for a start.
29:31Oh, God, that's tasty.
29:36I haven't been out of my comfort zone.
29:42So it's pretty simple. You've just got to get out of your comfort zone.
29:44Yeah.
29:45Okay, so were you out of your comfort zone having hot chocolate
29:48that had milk powder in the chocolate but not the milk?
29:51Yeah. I've been a vegan for six years now.
29:53I don't know if I've told you.
29:55No.
29:56And so that is, yeah, I'm disappointed.
29:58But now that you've done that, you might as well just go back.
30:00No, no.
30:01Don't worry about it.
30:02No, just don't worry about it.
30:03No, I once had a bucket of KFC in that six-year period.
30:05But, um...
30:07There was only once.
30:08With one bucket.
30:10One bucket.
30:11A bucket is such a funny slip-up.
30:14Oh, well, I might just have 40 chickens.
30:21Alright, comfort zones are being stepped out of.
30:23Who's first?
30:24Based on her name,
30:25she's more comfortable competing in mixed martial arts,
30:27the electronic kind.
30:28It's E-M-M-M-A.
30:29It's Emma.
30:31Um, I don't like being cold and wet.
30:33Okay.
30:34Like acting, performing a monologue is out of my comfort zone.
30:37Maybe I could perform a monologue wet.
30:39A wet monologue?
30:40Yeah, I could perform a wet monologue.
30:46It's been five years since my last letter from him.
30:48I can't watch this.
30:50Five years since I heard anything.
30:54A sentence, a letter, a whisper.
31:00Sometimes I wish he was just dead.
31:02It'd make things so much easier.
31:04I wouldn't have to imagine him with another woman.
31:06I wouldn't have to imagine him living the life he's living now without me.
31:13I wanted to marry him, you know.
31:15I wanted it all.
31:18I wanted the kids.
31:20A house with two French doors.
31:23And yet here I am.
31:25Scared.
31:27Alone.
31:28So wet.
31:29When he gave me that ring, he said it was forever.
31:35I guess he didn't think about forever when he died on that battlefield.
31:38And I guess this is what it means to be a woman.
31:41During the war time.
31:42I hate you.
31:43Thanks, Emma.
31:44Yeah, I'll see you later.
31:46Oh, that was beautiful.
31:48Wonderful.
31:49You've got me in.
31:50So you're giving a monologue, that's out of your comfort zone.
31:52Is that real?
31:54I'm genuinely crying because I could not watch that.
31:56But you're a stand-up comedian.
31:57You do monologues for a living, isn't it?
31:58No, it's the sincerity of it.
31:59Oh, okay.
32:00I don't think I'm very good at acting.
32:01Stand-up's different.
32:02So it was really hard for you to watch yourself acting, pretty much.
32:03Yeah.
32:04While sitting next to Lisa McKeown, who's really good at it.
32:05And I'm nearly crying because I thought it was so good.
32:06Oh, my God.
32:07I know this isn't relevant either, but it was also really fun for me.
32:10All right.
32:11Time for a break.
32:12BBSYB.
32:13Be back soon, you baggers.
32:14All right.
32:15Time for a break.
32:16BBSYB.
32:17Be back soon, you baggers.
32:40Hello.
32:41Welcome back to Taskmaster, where we're halfway wet.
32:46Some are getting wet.
32:47Some are doing the wetting.
32:49Everyone's uncomfortable.
32:50That's right.
32:51We've asked our contestants to temporarily vacate their comfort zones.
32:54Next up, it's our two most likely to make a little noise when uncomfortable because
32:58they're a bit older.
32:59It's Dave and Lisa.
33:00Is there a river?
33:01No.
33:02We've got a river.
33:03There's a lake.
33:04They're calling me those ducks.
33:09You think?
33:10Listen.
33:11Come, Husey.
33:12Come.
33:13You can do this.
33:15I'm in an environment that I don't know.
33:18I could go bush.
33:20Just go into the trees.
33:26Do the ducks have any thoughts on what's happening here?
33:29The ducks are into it.
33:30Wow.
33:31Never been back here.
33:32This is kind of cool.
33:33I mean, I'm not quite sure where to go when we make it over the other side.
33:38Do you think it would be bad to write on the side of the tree like Lisa was here?
33:51Is it cold?
33:52It's cold.
33:53It's tasty though.
33:55I've got a couple of things in my pocket that just in case we needed anything.
34:01How much stuff do you have in your pocket?
34:03I just bring it just in case I need it for any of the tasks.
34:06I think I've won this challenge.
34:07You think?
34:08I'm calling it.
34:09I won the challenge.
34:10What did you write?
34:11I just wrote, Lisa was here.
34:12Should we leave a balloon?
34:13Maybe.
34:14This is how I feel like Mr. Darcy.
34:15I can't imagine the women getting quite heavy right now.
34:19Yeah, thank you.
34:20Oh shit.
34:21I just lost my tape measure.
34:22You okay?
34:23Yeah, no it's all good.
34:24Stuck.
34:25Just, I'm a bit stuck.
34:26Alright, I'll see you.
34:27Thanks Lisa.
34:28So Lisa, for this whole series have you had things in your pockets?
34:44Yeah, every morning I'd arrive at the house and I'd load up.
34:47I'd scour everything and I'd stuff my pockets.
34:51And it did occasionally come in handy as well.
34:53Do you have any examples?
34:54It didn't come in handy then.
34:56Yeah, so how were you outside your comfort zone?
34:59You don't like bush walking or something?
35:01Yeah, I was kind of thinking that maybe I'd go and find something adventurous.
35:05And then you wanted to write Lisa was here?
35:08Well just to leave proof that I'd been there.
35:10I mean we were a long way.
35:11We went bush a bit.
35:13We were kind of on the borders.
35:14It was getting dangerous where we were.
35:16You know, like with a lot of snakes.
35:18The place we went couldn't be more than 40 metres from the...
35:21Yeah.
35:22It was still really, really dangerous.
35:27It was dark.
35:28It was wet.
35:29Yes.
35:30It was slippery.
35:31It was dark.
35:32It was wet.
35:33Tom was there.
35:34So, Husey, what were you thinking?
35:36Is surfing outside your comfort zone?
35:38Yeah.
35:39There's a back story to it.
35:40I dislocated my shoulder recently in a horrendous surfing accident at the Gold Coast.
35:45And so I needed to get back into the surf to not let the ocean beat me.
35:51Well I think to be fair, I think you've really happened upon something there.
35:54Because you were, you know, surfing's outside your comfort zone.
35:57Yeah.
35:58But also, it was pretty cold.
35:59Yeah.
36:00I drank quite a bit of that lake.
36:01And...
36:02It's probably a good time just to check in with this season's E.coli levels in that lake.
36:07Yeah, they're still sitting at unnaturally high.
36:10So you were paddling around in a lake full of shit.
36:13Yeah.
36:14And it was really cold.
36:15Yeah, absolutely.
36:16I think you did a great job.
36:17I think...
36:18I mean it's...
36:19Come on!
36:22It did not sound comfortable.
36:24Alright, whose misery do we get to revel in next?
36:26Suffering an awful accident.
36:28Waka.
36:37What's happened here?
36:38Oh.
36:39Is that an eye?
36:40I suppose you can't really answer me.
36:41You've got a...
36:42Ball in your mouth.
36:43Probably time to...
36:44To blink.
36:45Eyes been open for quite a while.
36:46Yeah.
36:47There you go.
36:48There you go.
36:49This is dustmaster.
36:50Sometimes...
36:51Makes me crazy.
36:52And...
36:53I have no idea what I'm doing.
36:54Okay.
36:55The wonderful world of Waka.
36:56Thank you so much.
36:57You've got to watch it for a while.
37:00Let's watch it for a while.
37:02I mean, what do we do?
37:03I've seen from a couple of weeks.
37:04I've seen from a couple of weeks.
37:05Yeah, there you go.
37:06You've seen from a couple of weeks.
37:07I know.
37:08I've seen from a couple of weeks.
37:09Yeah.
37:10This is dustmaster.
37:11It sometimes makes me crazy.
37:13And I have no idea what I'm doing.
37:16Okay.
37:19The wonderful world of Waka.
37:21Thank you so much.
37:24Thank you so much.
37:26Okay, were you outside your comfort zone or is this another case of you suffering from taskmaster disease?
37:31Yeah, that's a big part of taskmaster disease, but I kind of like it.
37:37In what way were you outside your comfort zone?
37:39So I tried to do something very uncomfortable thing, like weird, something scary, you know,
37:46something that watching the show on the TV with family, like why are we watching something?
37:51Oh, so you're just trying to give a bizarre performance that's outside your comfort zone.
37:56But the problem is everyone's seen the whole series and you've been doing bizarre performances throughout the whole thing.
38:02I'm not sure that one stood out. To me that seems like regulation wakka to me.
38:07I wish that task been a fast episode.
38:11Okay, alright.
38:12This wet bacteria bush eye task reminds me I need a hydrologist, gastronomist, environmentalist, optometrist check-up.
38:21We'll be back after the break.
38:35Welcome back to Taskmaster.
38:37It's a bit sad, but we're nearly at the end of our final proper task for the season.
38:42Yes, it's a space that's usually so comfortable, but the task is for everyone to get out of their comfort zones.
38:46Finally, the one that was definitely most uncomfortable for me, it's Tommy Little.
38:52Out of my comfort zone is the opposite to most people.
38:54I can't spend any time in a relationship.
38:57Why is that?
38:58Ah, that doesn't seem to work for me.
39:01Emotional intimacy. That's terrifying.
39:03I'm terrified of singing. I'm a shocking singer.
39:06Ooh.
39:07I don't think I've ever earnestly tried to do my best singing.
39:12I'm going to write a song and I'm going to sing it to you.
39:13Okay.
39:14Hello, Tom Cashman, and return as my wife.
39:33I just wanted to tell you that I know we've been through a lot, but I still love you as much as the day that we first met.
39:39Thanks for saying that.
39:41I've never met a woman like you before.
39:46I've never met a woman like you before.
39:51I've never met a woman like you before.
39:54I thought my heart was closed, but you open that door.
39:57Cause I'm committed to being committed.
40:01We sit on the couch, yeah, we don't do much.
40:06I tend to slouch and you no longer brush.
40:09It's been ten years since I said I do.
40:12And now you don't shut the door when you poo.
40:15But I'm committed to being committed to you.
40:21I love you, Tom.
40:22And I love you, Sandra.
40:24Thanks for that.
40:29I feel like we need to talk about your costume last time.
40:39Talk me through it.
40:41You're upstairs.
40:42You've got your dress-up box.
40:43What are you thinking?
40:44Well, you're just seeing what's there.
40:46And I've dressed up as a woman a few times on this show.
40:48Yep, we all remember.
40:50Yeah.
40:51And you're trying to choose different stuff, I guess.
40:53And then I guess you realise that some of the best stuff you've already used.
40:56And, yeah.
40:58You did.
40:59I was in the zone ready for my wife to come out.
41:03Yeah.
41:04And I'll be honest, it f***ing threw me.
41:06I actually think that Tom and you were way outside your comfort zone,
41:11but, Lessa Tom, I think you were well inside yours.
41:15Well inside.
41:19Alright, I should give out some points here, yeah?
41:20Yes, please.
41:21Okay.
41:22Well, it's just a question of who was the furthest outside their comfort zone.
41:25I think Lisa McCune's full of s***, so she gets one.
41:30You just went for a little wander in the bush and emptied your pockets.
41:33Let's be honest.
41:34Two points goes to Waka because it was just the wacky world of Waka
41:37and I don't really know what was happening.
41:39Three points to Emma because it was a really good monologue
41:42and you were literally uncomfortable because you were wet.
41:44Four points to Tommy Little because I think he was genuinely outside his comfort zone.
41:48But five points because, I mean, he was literally outside his comfort zone
41:51because he was cold, swimming in a lake of s***.
41:54Husey, five points.
42:00And in terms of episode scores, it's taken until episode 10,
42:03but Dave's finally in with a chance of winning one.
42:05He's out in front on 15 points.
42:09Okay, with the last time that Lesser Tom will be dressed as a woman behind us,
42:14let's get up on stage and do the live task.
42:21Lesser Tom, please commence proceedings.
42:24I'll ask Dave to read this task.
42:26Fly a paper plane through this...
42:30Bladeless?
42:31Flue?
42:32Is that what it says?
42:33Fan?
42:34Fan.
42:35Each paper plane you make must have a name and you must say it when it commences flight.
42:41You must remain on your mat and you cannot move your mat.
42:44Fastest wins.
42:45A bonus point will be given to the best named plane.
42:48Let the plane making commence.
42:50Okay.
42:52Emma's going with a multiple page strategy.
42:56All right.
42:57Victory!
42:58Wingman!
42:59Big Bird!
43:00Michael the chainsaw garrison.
43:01Use his hopes.
43:02Use his hopes have been dashed.
43:03Simple plane!
43:05That just looked like one fold in a few bits of paper.
43:08Vajangela.
43:09Angel!
43:10Little bird.
43:11Multiple pages.
43:12Hold it in half.
43:13Hold it in half.
43:14Yep.
43:15Emma seems to be teaching Dave Hughes how to make a paper plane.
43:16Hold that down to the floor.
43:17Use his heroes.
43:18Then?
43:19Then?
43:20Then?
43:21Then?
43:22No.
43:23No.
43:24No.
43:25No.
43:26No.
43:27No.
43:28No.
43:29No.
43:30No.
43:31No.
43:32No.
43:33No.
43:34No.
43:35No.
43:36No.
43:37No.
43:38No.
43:39No.
43:40No.
43:41No.
43:42No.
43:43No.
43:44two two two.
43:45Them.
43:46Oh!
43:47Tommy's first.
43:48Tommy's drop.
43:50First.
43:52Oh!
43:53Amelia!
43:56Oh, that was Amelia Earhart.
43:57Did you crash?
43:58Yeah.
43:59Yep.
44:00Perfect, Perfect.
44:01And then do that on the other side.
44:02An episode of PlaySchool is happening off the left there.
44:05Thunderbird.
44:06Oh!
44:07berm broke.
44:08Oh!
44:10Okay, I'm now copying you.
44:12Oh!
44:13Oh!
44:15Emma!
44:17Woo!
44:19Come on!
44:21Same effort!
44:23Same effort!
44:27Yes!
44:29That's true!
44:31Good job!
44:33You did it!
44:35Future is yours!
44:37Oh!
44:39Flamingo!
44:41Flamingo!
44:43Yes!
44:45Lisa's come third!
44:47Oh, let's go!
44:49That's the end of the task!
44:53Alright, you'll have to fold up your anticipation
44:55because we'll be back with a winner after this!
44:57Welcome back to the season finale of Taskmaster.
45:13We're down to the wire here.
45:15Lesser Tom, take us through some scores for that live task, please.
45:19Before I do that, I'd love a bonus point from you for the best named plane.
45:23Team effort.
45:25Okay.
45:27So in that case, Waka gets one point, two for Emma, three for Lisa, Dave gets five points,
45:33along with Tommy who won the task with also five points.
45:35So who wins the episode?
45:39Incredibly, he's done it with 20 points! Dave wins the episode!
45:43Congratulations, Dave!
45:45Go get your chuckable prizes!
45:47Well, what have we learnt?
45:49We learnt we can fix climate change if we just run at it hard enough.
46:01We learnt that Waka has great searching skills but poor doing something skilled.
46:05And once again, we learnt what Tom Cashman looks like as a woman.
46:10But most of all, we learnt that finally Dave is our winner!
46:14Congrats!
46:21Wow!
46:30There it is, another season almost back in the sheds.
46:32We've had desperate singles and awkward mingles.
46:35The van keys were lost and the perfect level of sus was found.
46:40Waka pierced his weenus and Tommy fulfilled his wish of getting a bigger penis.
46:45Lisa McCune went from Australia's darling to Australia's loosest unit.
46:50Emma Holland campaigned for more titties on kids TV.
46:54And Dave Hughes was also here.
46:57And let's not forget Tommy Little's wise words...
46:59And that means there's only one more thing to do here.
47:07Lesser Tom, it's your time to shine.
47:11Here are the overall series scores.
47:13In fifth place, but with a place in all of our hearts on 132 points, it's Dave Hughes.
47:18In fourth place, the other half of the A-Team on 145 points, it's Lisa McCune.
47:26He's committed to being committed to third place on 149, it's Tommy Little.
47:33On 154 points and this season's runner-up, it's Takashi Wakasugi.
47:39Meaning, of course, that the winner of Taskmaster Season 4 on an incredible 172 points, it's Emma Holland.
47:49Congratulations!
47:50Oh!
47:51And that's it.
47:52Congratulations, Emma, the winner of this whole season.
47:54Goodnight!
47:55Goodnight!
47:56Oh!
47:57And that's it.
47:58Congratulations, Emma.
47:59The winner of this whole season.
48:00Goodnight!
48:01Goodnight!
48:02Oh!
48:03Oh!
48:04Oh!
48:05And that's it.
48:06Congratulations, Emma, the winner of this whole season.
48:09Goodnight!
48:31My friends!
48:32Do you have to be so far away?
48:33I'll be a minute.
48:34Do you reckon it's a crime for me to be good at everything?
48:51I'm African, you can't run from me!
48:55There's a lot of audio in this show, dude.
48:58Let's go for broke.
48:59Got it completely under control.
49:06Tom!
49:07I'm gonna bash you, Tom.
49:08That's what you get!
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