00:00Are you ready for the most brutal, most intense, most insane spectacle on TV?
00:07Guts!
00:11Gore!
00:13Violent!
00:16Dismemperment!
00:18The most won show on the entire planet is back for its 50th anniversary!
00:23All of your favorite murderous, bad-ass motherfuckers will compete for the title of Guts champion once more!
00:32Father Marumba!
00:33The pumped-up priest hellbends on ridding the world of fatties!
00:37Breathe low, creator of muscle!
00:39Miranda Hunt!
00:40The fat queen of hamburgers is ready to bring the blubber!
00:44Mmm, you look tasty!
00:46Jack's Lumber!
00:47The redneck lumberjack chops limbs as easily as trees!
00:52Nobody's stealing my fucking job!
00:55Sergeant Sam!
00:57Guts was turning us all into sheeps.
00:59I'm bringing it all back to the good old days of war.
01:03Smack!
01:04Step-a-nova!
01:05Metal is the wall, baby!
01:08Which of these brave idiots will win this year's Guts tournament?
01:12And which one has the best Guts moves?
01:15Tune in for the gory Ultimate Tournament show and experience the butt-best of a lifetime!
01:21No limb will go uncut!
01:23No nut!
01:24Unpunched!
01:26None of the participants in this program were seriously injured!
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