- 34 minutes ago
Not His Holy Good Girl 2026 ππβοΈπ₯ 0503 1603 22Yc0 01:38
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:01This is the S.M.C.C.O.N.D.
00:00:02S.M.C.O.N.D.
00:00:11S.M.C.O.N.D.
00:00:35Oh, Dad.
00:00:41Hello?
00:00:42Cheryl, we have to talk about our birthday plans.
00:00:45I mean, it's only two days away, and we still haven't decided the perfect way to celebrate.
00:00:49So, I was thinking, maybe we could all take a trip to...
00:00:54Sue, um, I meant to tell you before, but I wanted to be sure.
00:00:58Um, I think I'm going to spend my birthday with Jake.
00:01:02Uh, I'm going to lose my virginity to him.
00:01:05You know, I want to surprise him.
00:01:07What? But you can't.
00:01:09I mean, I thought we were going to wait until marriage.
00:01:13Besides, you can't do that to us. You can't break tradition that way.
00:01:19This is bad. You know, I'm going to tell Lexi.
00:01:22She's going to be very unhappy about this.
00:01:32Come on, Lexi.
00:01:47So, girls, what are we going to do for our birthday?
00:01:52Sue, we have plenty of time to figure something out.
00:01:56But this is the big 1-8.
00:01:58I mean, every year since our moms met in the hospital, we've done something new and special.
00:02:03But this has to be newer and more special.
00:02:06So, what's something we've never done before?
00:02:10Mushrooms?
00:02:11No, not like that. Like something nice.
00:02:14Like maybe a trip.
00:02:16Like a mushroom trip?
00:02:18No.
00:02:21Sorry, Sue. I have a date.
00:02:24So do I.
00:02:26Sorry, Sue.
00:02:27Don't worry, Sue. We'll figure it out.
00:02:42Oh, flowers. Are these from you?
00:02:44Yeah, sure.
00:02:46Here you go.
00:02:49No card, but I thought I saw one.
00:02:51I didn't know how to put my feelings into words.
00:02:54I guess, um, you still make me nervous.
00:03:00Oh, Jake.
00:03:06Maybe I should come in and hang out for a minute.
00:03:09Uh, no, Jake. Not yet.
00:03:11When we do it, I want it to be really special.
00:03:14The best night of my life.
00:03:16It will be. I promise.
00:03:18It will always be amazing.
00:03:19With you and me.
00:03:22Together.
00:03:30Jake, no. I have to go. I have to work on my art project.
00:03:35You know, I thought art was going to be a really easy elective,
00:03:38but I guess I should have taken more math.
00:03:42Uh, so you're going to come to my birthday, okay?
00:03:45This Saturday?
00:03:47Of course.
00:03:52Thanks.
00:03:54Okay. Bye.
00:04:07Oh, baby. You're so hot. I'm going to do you so good.
00:04:11Oh, yeah, baby.
00:04:13Yeah.
00:04:13What was your name again?
00:04:14Rod.
00:04:15Sex guy.
00:04:21Lexi is so upset, she's speechless.
00:04:26Yeah, right. I bet.
00:04:34Cheryl's losing her virginity on Saturday?
00:04:38Oh, no.
00:04:39Does not compute.
00:04:41Want to talk in person ASAP.
00:04:47Oh, huh.
00:04:48Hi.
00:04:51When did you go home?
00:04:52So, is it true?
00:04:54Yes, it is.
00:04:56It's just, it's the right time and Jake's the right man.
00:05:00I mean, he's handsome and smart and wealthy,
00:05:05and he has a really bright future ahead of him.
00:05:08So, I just think it's the right time.
00:05:11Lexi, tell her.
00:05:13Losing our virginity is one of those milestones
00:05:15we should all face together.
00:05:17On our birthday, yes, but not on this birthday.
00:05:19Like, maybe on our 23rd birthday,
00:05:22or maybe even, like, our 28th.
00:05:26Maybe.
00:05:28Listen, guys, I'm, I know it's tradition, but...
00:05:32I'm sorry.
00:05:36I know it's tradition, but...
00:05:39I'm sorry.
00:05:46But Cheryl, Sue is right.
00:05:48We do always do something special on our birthday.
00:05:52Does Jake really have such a tiny little needle dick?
00:05:56It's not Jake.
00:05:58It's the male ideal.
00:06:01Like...
00:06:01a Greek god, or Sue's dad.
00:06:05Right.
00:06:07Yeah, I guess you're right.
00:06:09I mean, it kind of sucks.
00:06:10I'm not really an artist.
00:06:12Girls, can you just stop changing the subject?
00:06:14The point is, we should all lose our virginities together
00:06:17on the same day, and I'm just not ready yet.
00:06:20I'm waiting for a sign.
00:06:22And then I'll know what's right.
00:06:24Look, I can go either way.
00:06:26I mean, I'm fine with just 69, 79, anal...
00:06:31I don't feel any rush to actually do the deed.
00:06:35Besides, I know it'll never live up to my rabbit anyway.
00:06:39But, if you want to do it this year, then...
00:06:43maybe we all should.
00:06:44You know, it could be like our big 18th birthday thing.
00:06:52Where are you going at 6.30 in the morning?
00:06:55To church.
00:06:56To pray for you.
00:06:57Wanna be first in line.
00:07:00I'm getting some...
00:07:01Yeah, me too.
00:07:12Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.
00:07:15It's been four days since my last confession.
00:07:17I accused myself of the following sins.
00:07:19Mm-hmm.
00:07:22Okay, so I'm really embarrassed to talk about this, but...
00:07:26It's about sex.
00:07:28Mm-hmm.
00:07:31I mean, not me.
00:07:32I've never gone past second base with a guy.
00:07:35Aw.
00:07:37I've never even seen a guy as...
00:07:39Well, there was that one time I took the pants off my Ken doll.
00:07:42But I was dressing him up as Jesus, and I wanted to see his thing.
00:07:47But there was nothing there.
00:07:51Okay, so it's about my friends.
00:07:53My best friends.
00:07:56They're gonna do something really bad this weekend.
00:07:58Okay.
00:08:00Third base.
00:08:01What?
00:08:03No.
00:08:04Like, sex.
00:08:05Like, intercourse?
00:08:07With boys, they barely even know.
00:08:09I mean, they really need us intervention.
00:08:10If you know what I mean.
00:08:11All the way.
00:08:13Go all the way.
00:08:15Go all the way.
00:08:16What are you...
00:08:17What are you...
00:08:18Ah!
00:08:20Ah!
00:08:21How could you do this?
00:08:23You're a bad, bad person.
00:08:28What?
00:08:30Ah!
00:08:33Ah!
00:08:35Ah!
00:08:36Yes!
00:08:37Run!
00:08:38Run!
00:08:39Run!
00:08:39Hold ra-
00:08:40Ah!
00:08:42Dammit!
00:08:44Ah!
00:08:45Fuckin' Yankees!
00:08:46It's...
00:08:47Sorry.
00:08:51Oh my God.
00:09:08Oh my God...
00:09:08Oh, my God.
00:09:09Oh my God.
00:09:13Ah!
00:09:13Sue?
00:09:13Sue, it is 1 p.m.
00:09:16What do you have a little consideration?
00:09:18I'm trying to sleep.
00:09:20Jeez, can you guys please keep it down?
00:09:24I have an announcement to make.
00:09:26I want to do it.
00:09:28Do you hear me?
00:09:30I want to do it.
00:09:32This weekend, on our birthday.
00:09:35Do what?
00:09:38It, screw, screwing, boning, making the beast with two backs.
00:09:43You know, shagging, fucking.
00:09:48You do.
00:09:50But what about all your religious stuff?
00:09:53And what about your sign from heaven?
00:09:55Oh, I got a sign at church.
00:09:58Really?
00:09:59Well, okay, great.
00:10:03We're all in then.
00:10:05So we'll have a big pool party and we'll do it there.
00:10:08Right?
00:10:10Right.
00:10:13I'll start making the shopping list.
00:10:23Hey, Frank.
00:10:26Hi, Sue.
00:10:28Guys, we didn't invite Frank to the party.
00:10:30I don't know.
00:10:31Do you think he'd even have fun?
00:10:33Yeah, he's blind.
00:10:35Blind people can do everything regular people can do.
00:10:50Do you think he can see up my shorts?
00:10:54Yeah.
00:11:02Do you think he can see up my shorts?
00:11:07Well, the house looks done.
00:11:10Tomorrow's the big day.
00:11:11We finally turn 18.
00:11:13And finally lose our virginity.
00:11:16Well, we better get our beanie sleep because the party starts tomorrow at 2.
00:11:20So, okay, we know who Cheryl's going to do it with.
00:11:23Jake.
00:11:24And I'll probably do that guy Rod.
00:11:26But Sue, who are you going to pick?
00:11:27To pop your chair.
00:11:28Hey, it's easy.
00:11:30I've known for the past six years, ever since catechism.
00:11:36What the fuck is catechism?
00:11:38I think it's a baby panda wrapped in peanut butter.
00:11:40Yeah.
00:11:50My soulmate.
00:11:54Chris?
00:11:55Sue, you might want to think about picking a backup.
00:12:00I mean...
00:12:01What?
00:12:01No, Chris is perfect.
00:12:03He played Jesus in Jesus Christ Superstar last year at camp.
00:12:06Plus, his name's Chris.
00:12:08It's a sign.
00:12:08Sue, the only sign is that Chris has a major case of gay face.
00:12:15What?
00:12:16He does not.
00:12:17Anyway, there's no such thing as gay face.
00:12:19He looks just like Justin Bieber.
00:12:22With a little bit of Zac Efron and just a hint of Ryan Seacrest.
00:12:26Who the fuck's Ryan Seacrest?
00:12:29Look, Chris is my soulmate.
00:12:32Okay, well, sweet dreams.
00:12:35See you in the morning.
00:12:36See you in the morning.
00:12:43I knew it would happen someday.
00:12:45I just didn't expect it to happen so soon.
00:12:49Okay.
00:13:15Oh, my God.
00:13:21You're so perfect.
00:13:58You knew that's what I look like.
00:14:18Too bad no one could ever compare to you.
00:14:36Tomorrow's the day.
00:14:59Oh, my gosh.
00:15:02They're coming.
00:15:04Lexi, Cheryl, hurry.
00:15:09Ew, why?
00:15:11It's for Jake to unwrap me.
00:15:13It's going to be really sexy.
00:15:14I'm going to surprise him.
00:15:16You're going to die of asphyxiation.
00:15:18It's going to be really sexy.
00:15:20It's stupid.
00:15:21Just screw him.
00:15:22That's what he wants.
00:15:23That's what all guys want.
00:15:25Who hurt you as a child?
00:15:27Oh, Christ.
00:15:28And I have your mouth, too.
00:15:31Anyway, what guys want is someone who's sexy, not someone they can just have sex with.
00:15:35You're an idiot.
00:15:37You're an idiot.
00:15:37A very smooth, plastic-wrapped idiot.
00:15:42Seriously, come on.
00:15:43Hurry up.
00:15:49Oh, what a cool bracelet.
00:15:52I love it.
00:15:54Um, you should put that down, though, because it's, like, it's really...
00:15:57Very fragile.
00:15:58Yeah.
00:15:59Okay.
00:15:59Set it down.
00:16:01Hurry up.
00:16:05Those are your anal beads, right?
00:16:06Yeah.
00:16:07All right, let's go.
00:16:07You should have to go for it.
00:16:11A-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a.
00:16:29Oh, Jesus.
00:16:30Whoa!
00:16:31Hold up.
00:16:33Oh, we're gonna have some fun.
00:16:35Oh, Attack of the Wet t-shirts.
00:16:37Nice!
00:16:37Yes!
00:16:47Happy birthday, Lex!
00:16:51No, Joanna, we said no gifts.
00:16:54That is lip poison to plump your lips,
00:16:57but be careful it stings.
00:16:58And the other one is edible mishapage oil.
00:17:02Oh, how did you know?
00:17:04I'm gonna use both of these tonight.
00:17:12Buster, such a cutie.
00:17:15Please don't touch my service time.
00:17:17All right, sorry.
00:17:19Are you okay now?
00:17:20Yeah, I'm fine, thank you.
00:17:21Okay, see you later.
00:17:26I can't believe you haven't heard of it.
00:17:27This is crazy.
00:17:29Jake!
00:17:30Hi!
00:17:31Hey, Ben.
00:17:33Happy birthday.
00:17:36Oh, you didn't have to give me anything.
00:17:39What?
00:17:40You want a beer?
00:17:44No.
00:17:48Oh, hon.
00:17:50Come here.
00:17:53I have your present here.
00:17:55I'll give it to you later.
00:17:57The time's right.
00:17:59Oh.
00:17:59You didn't have to give me anything.
00:18:02And I have a present for you that I want you to unwrap later.
00:18:08Hey, Ralph.
00:18:10We need you to settle this bed over here real quick.
00:18:13Oh, a bed.
00:18:17All right, this is my man right here.
00:18:20Hey.
00:18:20Hey.
00:18:21How you doing?
00:18:22Hey.
00:18:31Just kidding.
00:18:32Hold the mic.
00:18:33Ha ha.
00:18:33Check it out.
00:18:35Dare me?
00:18:40Woo-hoo!
00:18:42What?
00:18:48Look at the daddy.
00:18:50I 202, you know?
00:18:50It looks a bit ofθ½ε¦y, yeah?
00:18:52I'm 34, so destination.
00:18:52It worked in Miami,
00:18:52Won unravels, and it goes away.
00:18:53Oh, dude, look at those.
00:18:55Are those real?
00:18:56Have you guys seen Cheryl?
00:18:58Hey, ah, dude, move!
00:19:00Come on, lame!
00:19:01Oh, all right, okay.
00:19:03I'll see you guys later.
00:19:04Go do some push-ups or something.
00:19:06Aw, the moves.
00:19:0620 bucks says, by the end of the day,
00:19:09I will be motorboating those kitties.
00:19:13They're fake anyways.
00:19:14Who cares?
00:19:16Okay.
00:19:20Oh, dude, dude.
00:19:22I'm blind, you fucking asshole.
00:19:28Sue, no, it's your birthday.
00:19:30Here, let me.
00:19:30Joanna, no, just go enjoy the birdie.
00:19:33Come on.
00:19:36Open.
00:19:39Hey, do my lips look any plumper?
00:19:41I put this stuff on, but I can't really feel anything yet.
00:19:46Have you guys seen Jake?
00:19:47I haven't seen him anywhere.
00:19:48He just, like, disappeared.
00:20:03Are these real?
00:20:04Of course they are.
00:20:06They suck.
00:20:07How come I think they're not real quick?
00:20:10I don't know.
00:20:10Maybe he's going to be around.
00:20:12Ryan, have you seen Jake?
00:20:13Um, I think he's around or something.
00:20:17Maybe upstairs.
00:20:18I don't know.
00:20:20Maybe you want to go get my birthday present.
00:20:22That's probably where you went.
00:20:25Oh, well.
00:20:28Liquid courage?
00:20:30Yeah.
00:20:31Atta girl.
00:20:35Vodka cranberry?
00:20:37It's really simple.
00:20:40Well, I guess it's now or never.
00:20:42I can go meet Rod.
00:20:44Sue?
00:20:45Are you okay?
00:20:46Sue?
00:20:47Relax.
00:20:50They're just eyes.
00:20:51Okay, nothing to be scared of.
00:20:53Seriously.
00:20:54You're going to be fine.
00:20:55Is Chris here?
00:20:56Is Chris here?
00:20:59Is Chris here?
00:21:02Wow, it's even worse in person, isn't it?
00:21:05No, he does not have gateways.
00:21:08I'm going to prove it to you.
00:21:10I'm going to do it.
00:21:16Wow, it's even worse in person, isn't it?
00:21:19No, he does not have gateways.
00:21:22I'm going to prove it to you.
00:21:24I'm going to do it.
00:21:25I'm going to do this.
00:21:27Good luck.
00:21:30Hey, you can do this.
00:21:32Just act like a slut.
00:21:37Just pretend you're Lexi.
00:21:47Yeah, my favorite chapter is Psalm and Gmore.
00:21:51Chris.
00:21:52Hi.
00:21:54Hi.
00:21:54Can I talk to you?
00:21:56Huh?
00:21:57Uh, in private?
00:21:59No.
00:22:13Oh, hey, Lexi.
00:22:15Hey, Lexi.
00:22:16What?
00:22:17Chris.
00:22:19You're so sexy.
00:22:22Ever since you played Jesus at camp, I've just, I've known that we were meant to be together.
00:22:29And I really want to...
00:22:32Oh, what are you doing?
00:22:34Is that wrong?
00:22:36Sue, what's gotten into you?
00:22:38Nothing.
00:22:38I'm sorry.
00:22:40I'm sorry.
00:22:40I don't know how to do this.
00:22:42Sue.
00:22:44Sue, Sue, Sue.
00:22:47I understand these urges.
00:22:52And, you know, I like you too.
00:22:56Really?
00:22:57You do?
00:22:57I do.
00:22:59I do.
00:22:59I really do.
00:23:01I like you too.
00:23:03Really?
00:23:04You do?
00:23:05I do.
00:23:05I really do.
00:23:07It's just...
00:23:10I've devoted a lot of my life to one certain man.
00:23:15Right.
00:23:16Lexi said you were...
00:23:17Jesus.
00:23:18Oh.
00:23:19That man.
00:23:21Of course.
00:23:22What did you think?
00:23:23Oh, nothing.
00:23:25So we can still do this then?
00:23:28Oh, Sue.
00:23:30You know, for me, when I think about that man who died for our sins, when I think about him
00:23:41up there on that cross, so helpless, yet so muscular, with his strong,
00:23:50the eyes crossed over each other so delicately beneath that ragged loincloth, growing so
00:24:03hot, so sweaty, under that hot, hot sun.
00:24:09I just feel such compassion.
00:24:12I think about those things too.
00:24:15So you understand why I can't do this?
00:24:19Not really.
00:24:20I just find it too hard.
00:24:23It is to give in to carnal pleasure when he sacrificed so much for us.
00:24:34So...
00:24:43We're going to go out there, right?
00:24:45Andy, we're going to tell you throw these on.
00:24:47Hey, try.
00:24:48Whoa!
00:24:50Have you seen Jake?
00:24:51Uh, no.
00:24:53No.
00:24:54All right.
00:24:58Focus, focus, focus, focus.
00:25:01Focus, focus, focus.
00:25:06Oh, there he is.
00:25:11Oh, you got me the puppy that I wanted.
00:25:28How could you?
00:25:33Sue, what happened? Did you guys do it?
00:25:36Sue?
00:25:38He doesn't want me.
00:25:40Because he's gay.
00:25:41No, he's not. He just really loves Jesus.
00:25:45Oh, come on, Sue. The only reason we even liked him is because you knew he was never a real
00:25:50possibility for you.
00:25:52Look, the only way you are going to find out what kind of man you really want is to know
00:25:58what kind of woman you really are, deep inside.
00:26:03What?
00:26:03Come with me.
00:26:05We're to meet your dark side.
00:26:15Out. Everyone out.
00:26:27Sue, it's time for you and your vagina to meet face to face.
00:26:44I really can't. I really don't think I can do this.
00:26:49I'm not letting you out until you look.
00:26:55I'm not letting you out until you look.
00:27:00Sue?
00:27:02Can you see it?
00:27:04Sue.
00:27:09I'm almost... I'm almost there.
00:27:17What?
00:27:19What? Sue, what happened? What did you see?
00:27:23A raccoon?
00:27:25What?
00:27:27You overshot it.
00:27:28You overshot it. Aim the mirror further up.
00:27:37I can't. Please don't make me do that again.
00:27:39Okay, fine. Fine.
00:27:42I didn't want to do this, but you leave me no choice.
00:27:46What?
00:27:47You really need an orgasm.
00:27:50Honestly, I don't know how you expected to ever have sex with someone else when you've never even had it
00:27:54with yourself.
00:27:56This really has to be your first step.
00:27:57Lex, I'm waiting.
00:28:00Coming.
00:28:01Sue, my black vibrator is somewhere in the top drawer. Just find it and use it.
00:28:06Wait, what does the black vibrator look like?
00:28:08It's black. It vibrates.
00:28:13Come on, Rod. Let's go to Sue's room.
00:28:17And don't come back until you have at least one orgasm.
00:28:32Hey, cutie! Cutie!
00:28:38Oh!
00:28:40Bullseye!
00:28:42Oh, yeah!
00:28:45Bang. Bang. Bang.
00:28:50Good boy. Straighten up.
00:28:53Good boy. Good boy.
00:28:56He knows over a hundred commands.
00:29:00I'm sorry, I can't see anything.
00:29:02That is not funny, Cheryl.
00:29:04What a bitch.
00:29:06Fortunately, when you're blind, you get used to things like that.
00:29:21I can't see anything so much.
00:29:24I can't see anything else.
00:29:25It's gonna work right there.
00:29:28Oh, no, no!
00:29:29Oh, no!
00:29:30I can't see anything so much.
00:29:30What a bitch!
00:29:30Now what a bitch trying to cook.
00:29:31I can't see anything.
00:29:31Good boy.
00:29:37Maybe I can't see anything.
00:29:38I can't see a bitch.
00:29:40Oh, shit.
00:29:45What's wrong with this thing?
00:30:06Cheryl, what is wrong?
00:30:09Lexi, it's Jake.
00:30:11He was getting a blowjob by some pink-haired girl.
00:30:15For sure?
00:30:17I mean, I know I've been putting off having sex with him,
00:30:19so maybe it's my fault.
00:30:21That's no excuse. He's a dirtbag. How dare he?
00:30:25No, it's awful.
00:30:26I mean, I thought I was gonna marry him.
00:30:30Oh, shit.
00:30:35It's a text. It's from him.
00:30:38Um, I can't bear myself to read it.
00:30:39Okay.
00:30:40Uh, he's looking for you.
00:30:42He wants to give you your birthday gift.
00:30:44Oh, I can't face him.
00:30:46Um, I have to go. I'm going.
00:30:48No, you can't just leave.
00:30:51Well, I can't stay and just pretend like nothing happened.
00:30:54I mean, maybe I should confront him.
00:30:57He'll either deny it or admit and promise never to do it again.
00:31:00Either way, it's bullshit.
00:31:01I see only one option.
00:31:05I'm leaving.
00:31:06Revenge sex.
00:31:08Re- I mean, what? What does that even mean?
00:31:10It means you find a guy, you screw his brains out, and you let Jake catch you.
00:31:17Revenge sex.
00:31:19Re- I mean, what? What does that even mean?
00:31:21It means you find a guy, you screw his brains out, and you let Jake catch you.
00:31:27But he- I mean, he doesn't even care.
00:31:29He doesn't even care about me. I mean, why would-
00:31:31He's just into other girls.
00:31:33Trust me, he'll care.
00:31:35Seriously, this is the worst thing you can do to him.
00:31:38To his ego.
00:31:40To screw someone else when you've never even had sex with him.
00:31:44Especially if it's with someone smarter, better looking, and with a bigger dick.
00:31:50No, I- I couldn't.
00:31:51Plus, I mean, there's- there's no one smarter and better looking.
00:31:57Eric! He's perfect!
00:31:58Eric Hall? Are you kidding?
00:32:01I mean, he wouldn't even be into me. He likes your type.
00:32:05Really? And what type is that?
00:32:07He's bloody.
00:32:09Yeah. Trust me, he's amazing.
00:32:12I fooled around with him once. He has this great tongue ring.
00:32:15Oh, no. I could never fool around with somebody you fooled around with.
00:32:19Okay, then. Fine. We will find someone else.
00:32:23Someone that I haven't fooled around with.
00:32:29Okay, what does it matter? That I fooled around with him? I mean, it's like you're not going to marry
00:32:33the guy.
00:32:35No, I just couldn't do it.
00:32:37Fine. If you want to live the rest of your life knowing that you had one chance to do the
00:32:42right thing, to make your boyfriend feel like a total worthless piece of garbage and possibly even scar him with
00:32:47the rest of his existence, and you chose not to do it, go ahead.
00:32:51Okay. But honestly, I don't know how you'll be able to live with yourself.
00:32:56I don't know.
00:33:00But honestly, I don't know how you'll be able to live with yourself.
00:33:04I don't know.
00:33:06Trust me. It's going to work.
00:33:08Okay.
00:33:14I will intercept Jake and get him upstairs.
00:33:18Hi, Cheryl.
00:33:19Are you okay enough to chat with her?
00:33:21Oh, no.
00:33:34Hey.
00:33:36Happy birthday.
00:33:39Thanks.
00:34:03Have you guys seen Jake?
00:34:09Happy birthday.
00:34:12Happy birthday.
00:34:15Uh, do you know that most people think that the happy birthday song was from Britain?
00:34:20But it's actually from us.
00:34:22US.
00:34:24America.
00:34:26United States.
00:34:28I know where we live.
00:34:30Right.
00:34:31Of course.
00:34:39Hey, Jesus, Eric, are you going to make your move or not?
00:34:47Oh, you want me to move?
00:34:48Yeah, no, I can totally move.
00:34:49I just...
00:34:50No, you're fine.
00:35:04Jake!
00:35:07So, Eric, do you want to do it or not?
00:35:10Oh.
00:35:11I'm sorry.
00:35:12It?
00:35:13What, um...
00:35:15It?
00:35:15Like...
00:35:16Monkey boning and, like, pigs in a blanket.
00:35:20Get real nasty.
00:35:22Oh.
00:35:23Oh.
00:35:24You mean, like, uh...
00:35:27Right now?
00:35:28I mean, well, yeah.
00:35:30You know, the sooner the better.
00:35:33Yeah, sure.
00:35:35I mean, well, yeah, of course.
00:35:36Um, I just never realized that you...
00:35:39I mean...
00:35:41Whew.
00:35:43Uh...
00:35:45It's just...
00:35:47You're so...
00:35:50You're so beautiful.
00:35:52Okay.
00:35:53Um...
00:35:53Hmm?
00:35:54Uh, no cuisine.
00:35:57Right.
00:35:58Um, of course.
00:35:59Sorry.
00:36:03So, um...
00:36:06Do you wanna...
00:36:07Unwrap me?
00:36:09Oh, wow.
00:36:10Uh...
00:36:10You're wrapped up like a Hot Pocket.
00:36:12Or...
00:36:12A leftover macaroni and cheese.
00:36:15Now that you're left over, you're not.
00:36:17Uh...
00:36:18You're fresh.
00:36:21Now that you're left over, you're not.
00:36:24Uh...
00:36:24You're fresh.
00:36:26Organic.
00:36:28Yep.
00:36:31So, the wrap.
00:36:32Right.
00:36:35Um...
00:36:35Uh...
00:36:36Where's the, uh...
00:36:37It's, uh...
00:36:38The end is...
00:36:39The edge is, like, right over here.
00:36:40Oh, oh, yeah.
00:36:40Here it is.
00:36:41Uh, it's where I see it.
00:36:42Um, let me just, uh...
00:36:45Uh...
00:36:46Ow, ow, ow.
00:36:47Oh, sorry.
00:36:47Sorry, sorry.
00:36:48I, um...
00:36:49It's...
00:36:49It's okay.
00:36:50Here.
00:36:51Do it again.
00:36:53Sorry.
00:36:54I, uh...
00:36:55I bite my nails, so it's a little difficult.
00:36:56You know what?
00:36:57Let me just lay on the bed.
00:37:01Okay.
00:37:07Uh...
00:37:07Let me just...
00:37:08See.
00:37:10Oh, here it is.
00:37:11I got it.
00:37:12All right.
00:37:13Just, um...
00:37:13Pull it.
00:37:14Let me just...
00:37:16Ah!
00:37:17Oh!
00:37:19Oh, geez.
00:37:20Uh, Cheryl?
00:37:20Are you...
00:37:22You okay?
00:37:23Help me.
00:37:26Uh...
00:37:26Hey, Cheryl.
00:37:27Are you okay?
00:37:29Uh...
00:37:30Oh!
00:37:30Oh, geez.
00:37:32Uh...
00:37:33Uh...
00:37:34Uh...
00:37:34Uh...
00:37:35Uh...
00:37:38Um...
00:37:38Well, that was stupid.
00:37:40Uh...
00:37:41Uh...
00:37:42Yeah.
00:37:43Uh...
00:37:45Uh...
00:37:47Uh...
00:37:48Uh...
00:37:49Uh...
00:37:49Uh...
00:37:53Uh...
00:37:54I saw Cheryl upstairs.
00:37:56What?
00:37:57I can't hear you.
00:37:59I didn't have a beer.
00:38:01Chips are so damn salty.
00:38:03Jake.
00:38:04Sorry, we're upstairs.
00:38:06Yeah.
00:38:07Hold on.
00:38:08Take a piss.
00:38:10How much beer?
00:38:26Oh, oh, oh.
00:38:28Oh.
00:38:33Oh.
00:38:35Oh.
00:38:35Oh.
00:38:36Oh.
00:38:42Oh.
00:38:43I, uh, I'm going to just get the blinds.
00:38:46Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:38:48Um, don't, don't worry about it.
00:38:51What?
00:38:52I mean, I want us to be able to see each other.
00:38:56Oh.
00:38:59Well, okay.
00:39:00Okay.
00:39:15Finally.
00:39:17I, uh, let me just get the blinds.
00:39:20Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:39:22Um, don't, don't worry about it.
00:39:24What?
00:39:26I mean, I want us to be able to see each other.
00:39:31Uh-oh.
00:39:33Well, okay.
00:39:34Okay.
00:39:34Bye.
00:39:35Um...
00:39:38Um.
00:39:39How about you all?
00:39:51Uh-oh.
00:39:53Oh, this is...
00:39:54Yeah, I'm so jealous.
00:39:56Oh, I see.
00:40:24What are you doing?
00:40:25Uh, I think it's time, you know, to...
00:40:32...do it.
00:40:34Um, not yet. More foreplay.
00:40:36Huh? Oh.
00:40:44So good.
00:40:47Oh.
00:40:49Yep.
00:40:50Oh, my God.
00:40:52Jaw, jaw, jaw.
00:40:54What? What?
00:40:55Ah! Oh!
00:40:57Ah, dear.
00:40:58Oh, my God. Lockjaw, lockjaw.
00:41:01Is that even a thing?
00:41:03I don't know.
00:41:05Ah.
00:41:07Are you okay?
00:41:11No, no, no, no. It's, uh...
00:41:14It's fine. I'm just, uh, embarrassed.
00:41:16It's probably TMJ or fracture or swollen.
00:41:24Are you sure you're okay?
00:41:26Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.
00:41:27Okay, great. Have fun.
00:41:29Oh.
00:41:35Now. Now, let's do it now.
00:41:37No.
00:41:37No, no, not yet. Not yet.
00:41:42Alright, I'm gonna come.
00:41:43I'm gonna come.
00:41:44Are you ready?
00:41:45No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:41:47No, no, no, no, not yet.
00:41:48Let's see.
00:41:49Let's see.
00:41:50Oh, sh...
00:41:54Oh, no, no, no, not yet, Lexi, Lexi, oh, shit, oh, no means no.
00:42:02Oh, I'm so sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, it's been a really long time and I just, I haven't
00:42:08masturbated for anything.
00:42:13Uh-oh.
00:42:16Oh, hey, Jake.
00:42:19How you doing?
00:42:21How's it going?
00:42:22Good.
00:42:23Eric?
00:42:25Come.
00:42:26Eric, help me, I'm glad I can't see anything.
00:42:30Excuse me.
00:42:34Cheryl's in here.
00:42:40What's up, brother?
00:42:42What the fuck is...
00:42:45Hey, wait!
00:42:48Lex, Max, still waiting.
00:42:57Oh, I'm sorry, I can't see.
00:42:59I'm blind.
00:43:02Damn it.
00:43:03I'm gonna save somebody to that bitch.
00:43:06Hey, you!
00:43:09You better stop making fun of the blind or I'm gonna teach you a lesson.
00:43:15I'm so sorry!
00:43:17I'll never make fun of the blind again!
00:43:40I'm so sorry!
00:43:45Oh, man, no more water balloons.
00:43:48Sparty's ass.
00:43:52Yeah!
00:43:57This just isn't working.
00:44:00Nothing.
00:44:01What's the big deal about these vibrators, anyway?
00:44:07I'm careful, man.
00:44:08The lock sticks.
00:44:09Spark it up.
00:44:11Yes!
00:44:15Oh, man!
00:44:17I love this game.
00:44:18We're the controllers.
00:44:19We got to play.
00:44:20Here, here, here.
00:44:20Okay, let me find another one.
00:44:25Woo!
00:44:27Look at this.
00:44:31Fuel, fuel, fuel.
00:44:33Get that thing away.
00:44:34Jesus.
00:44:42Hey, dude, nice shot.
00:44:45Wasn't me.
00:44:51Whoa, whoa!
00:44:53Nice!
00:44:55Are you sitting on it or something?
00:44:58Hey, you found the grenade launcher.
00:45:00Nice!
00:45:01Nice!
00:45:14Do you have the extra controller?
00:45:20What?
00:45:27Whoa!
00:45:30You are the controller.
00:45:32No!
00:45:32I just...
00:45:34I didn't...
00:45:35I swear...
00:45:37I...
00:45:48Don't leave.
00:45:48Hey, Sue!
00:45:50Where are you going, man?
00:45:54It's okay.
00:45:55Um...
00:45:55Hey, Sue!
00:46:07Hey!
00:46:08Didn't you hear me calling you?
00:46:10Yeah!
00:46:10I just needed to...
00:46:12Um...
00:46:13Oh!
00:46:13Sure.
00:46:16Listen, Sue, I...
00:46:18I was rethinking what I said earlier.
00:46:20You were?
00:46:22You were?
00:46:23You mean...
00:46:25Y...
00:46:25Yeah.
00:46:28Yeah.
00:46:29So you think we should give it a try?
00:46:32Can we go get a drink?
00:46:37Wow!
00:46:38Um...
00:46:39Your...
00:46:39Toilet's really...
00:46:41Oh...
00:46:42You...
00:46:43You know what?
00:46:44I...
00:46:44I gotta go.
00:46:45Um...
00:46:45Happy birthday.
00:46:46Uh, no!
00:46:47Oh, Chris!
00:46:47No, that wasn't...
00:46:48I didn't...
00:46:49Oh, God.
00:46:50Never mind.
00:47:04This was the worst idea ever.
00:47:07Never going to have sex.
00:47:09Ow.
00:47:31Hello?
00:47:32A little attention here.
00:47:34Oh, yeah.
00:47:35Sorry.
00:47:41All right.
00:47:43Don't be selfish.
00:47:44All right.
00:47:45Sorry.
00:47:47All right.
00:47:48All right.
00:48:00Geez.
00:48:01Geez.
00:48:01Who invented this stupid position anyway?
00:48:05Too much fucking multitasking.
00:48:07Screw it.
00:48:13What?
00:48:18Oh!
00:48:21Ha, ha, ha.
00:48:22Ah, ha, ha.
00:48:22Ha, ha, ha.
00:48:22Ah, ha, ha.
00:48:34Ha, ha, ha.
00:48:51Oh, that was bad.
00:48:56That was so bad.
00:49:12Joanna, do you know a guy named J.J.?
00:49:17I think that guy's name starts with a J.
00:49:23Hey, does your name start with a J?
00:49:27Yes, it does.
00:49:29So, you're J.J.?
00:49:30Uh-oh.
00:49:56Hello.
00:49:57Welcome to 1-900-CONFESS.
00:49:59Would you like a priest or a nun today?
00:50:02A nun.
00:50:02Yeah.
00:50:02Please punch in your credit card number.
00:50:10Please hold.
00:50:12Oh, thank goodness.
00:50:161-900-CONFESSION.
00:50:18How may I be of service?
00:50:20It's been one day since my last confession.
00:50:22I accuse myself of the following sins.
00:50:24One day.
00:50:28Ow!
00:50:33Is that too long?
00:50:35I would have come this morning, but it's my 18th birthday.
00:50:38Go on.
00:50:39Um, okay.
00:50:41Well, I've been touching myself inappropriately.
00:50:44Well, actually, I didn't know a washing machine did.
00:50:46What's her problem?
00:50:48A washing machine touched her.
00:50:52Well, you know, I sat on a washing machine and, well...
00:50:56All right, freak.
00:50:57Time's up.
00:50:58What?
00:50:58But what do I do?
00:50:59Just unplug the thing.
00:51:01No, but I think I might have had an orgasm.
00:51:05Well, then be happy.
00:51:07You found the perfect man.
00:51:09I'm serious.
00:51:10Look, honey.
00:51:12You seem like a nice young lady, so...
00:51:14I'll tell you this.
00:51:17Masturbation isn't a sin.
00:51:20No contritions?
00:51:22You broke no covenant with God.
00:51:24It's not in the Bible.
00:51:26So the washing machine could touch me anytime?
00:51:30Like morning, afternoon, night?
00:51:33Yes, and other things can touch you.
00:51:36Accidental masturbation is not a sin.
00:51:38Neither is intentional masturbation.
00:51:42Huh.
00:51:44God's pretty cool that way.
00:51:45He sure is.
00:51:47Now run along.
00:51:51Wow.
00:51:52How do you know all that?
00:51:55Because I'm a nun.
00:51:57Now eat my pussy, bitch!
00:52:00Huh.
00:52:00Accidental masturbation.
00:52:02Who'd it think?
00:52:13Revenge sex.
00:52:14What a stupid fucking idiot.
00:52:17God, I'm getting out of here.
00:52:21Yeah, admit it.
00:52:22I've got no game.
00:52:24I'm getting out of here.
00:52:26I'm getting out of here.
00:52:27I'm getting out of here.
00:52:29I'm getting out of here.
00:52:31Fucking douchebag.
00:52:33Damn it.
00:52:35Now I have to get laid if it's the last thing I do.
00:52:38You go, girl.
00:52:40What?
00:52:43What are you doing here?
00:52:44We needed some place private.
00:52:47But hey, listen.
00:52:49If you're serious about getting laid.
00:52:51Yeah?
00:52:51If you want someone great.
00:52:53I mean, really.
00:52:55The best ever.
00:52:57No offense.
00:52:59Frank.
00:53:00The blind guy?
00:53:02Really?
00:53:02I'm telling you, he's amazing.
00:53:07I had food sex with him a few weeks ago.
00:53:09It was like nothing I've ever experienced before.
00:53:13It was like we used all our senses.
00:53:16Everything.
00:53:19If you're interested, I'll set it up.
00:53:23All right.
00:53:30What about him?
00:53:32Jeremy.
00:53:33Oh yeah, I know Jeremy.
00:53:35Hey, I think I fooled around with him once.
00:53:38I didn't know his last name though.
00:53:41It's Jones.
00:53:42Jeremy Jones.
00:53:44This all makes sense.
00:53:46Excuse me.
00:53:48Jeremy.
00:53:50Hi.
00:53:52Who's on the phone?
00:53:53Oh, that's my new girlfriend.
00:53:56You'll meet her.
00:53:56It'll be around like an hour.
00:53:58Wait, you have a girlfriend?
00:54:14Oh, hi.
00:54:16Hi, Frank.
00:54:17Sit.
00:54:22Oh, you meant...
00:54:23You meant the dog.
00:54:27Relax.
00:54:29You need to relax and calm down.
00:54:42Oh, I'm... I'm relaxed. I'm fine.
00:54:45Why are you biting your nail?
00:54:47I'm not.
00:54:51How did you know that?
00:54:55Corner.
00:54:59Sit.
00:55:02Roll over.
00:55:06Roll over.
00:55:07Oh, you mean me.
00:55:10Roll over.
00:55:14Oh, you mean me.
00:55:16Oh, how do you...
00:55:18How do you want me to...
00:55:20Just lay down.
00:55:32Oh, I...
00:55:34I shouldn't even be doing this, but...
00:55:36Considering it a teachable moment.
00:55:39Okay.
00:55:43Oh.
00:55:46See me with your hands.
00:55:52All right.
00:55:53All right.
00:55:55Uh...
00:56:01You know, I should really...
00:56:02I have a boyfriend and I shouldn't be doing this.
00:56:05Really.
00:56:09Oh.
00:56:19Mmm, peanut butter.
00:56:37Frank.
00:56:37Frank.
00:56:38Oh.
00:56:42Oh, Frank.
00:57:10Oh, man.
00:57:11Yo, man.
00:57:11Yo, give me a chip.
00:57:13My chips, old boy.
00:57:14Yo, give me a chip, man.
00:57:16My chips.
00:57:17Yo, my chip.
00:57:18Yo, give me a chip.
00:57:20My chips.
00:57:23Guys, why are you making such a mess?
00:57:26Sorry.
00:57:35It's just a case of accidental masturbation.
00:57:38That's all.
00:57:43No, let me do this.
00:57:44Go away.
00:57:45I got it.
00:57:46I got it.
00:57:46No, really.
00:57:47Please.
00:57:47I want to help.
00:57:52Okay, everybody out.
00:57:54Leave.
00:57:54I have to vacuum.
00:58:10You're not even getting the chips.
00:58:12They're over here.
00:58:14I see some dust over here, so...
00:58:19There's just so much dust on this floor.
00:58:24Down here, I see, her literally...
00:58:25That's a dirty floor.
00:58:26Such a dirty, uh...
00:58:29Dirty, poor years...
00:58:34Ah, ah, ah, tidak.
00:58:54I think I got all that.
00:58:56I'm just going to see how home.
00:59:09Frankie.
00:59:11Oh, my.
00:59:12What was that?
00:59:13What?
00:59:16Oh, man, we got to smoke.
00:59:17Oh, we can smoke in here.
00:59:21Stop.
00:59:22Frank, stop teasing Frank.
00:59:25Oh, shit.
00:59:27Sorry, man.
00:59:28We're just looking for a place to finish this road.
00:59:30Oh, I heard something.
00:59:31You want to join us?
00:59:33No, I might.
00:59:34Come on, you got to do it.
00:59:36Come on.
00:59:36Seriously, guys.
00:59:38What's your dog, man?
00:59:38Dude, what's it like being blinded?
00:59:40It's tripping.
00:59:45Frank?
00:59:47Frank, are we going to do something soon?
00:59:52Bro, you are too funny.
00:59:56Thanks, man.
00:59:58Oh, this is some good stuff.
01:00:00I haven't smoked since junior high.
01:00:01Dude, I haven't stopped smoking since junior high.
01:00:04Wait, wait, wait.
01:00:06I feel like I was supposed to be doing something.
01:00:11Damn, I really can't remember.
01:00:12This is some good shit.
01:00:33Oh, no.
01:00:35You're the devil.
01:00:36No more.
01:00:40JJ, I'm Jeremy.
01:00:43Jeremy, you have to remember that amazing time we had together, don't you?
01:00:47Please.
01:00:49Lex, I can't.
01:00:51I mean, I got a girlfriend.
01:00:54I really like this girl.
01:00:55Fine.
01:00:57It's just so sad because I'm wearing this coupless bra.
01:01:02And I also have on crotchless panties.
01:01:06With just a little string of pearl in front for extra stimulation.
01:01:17We've got like 30 minutes before she gets here.
01:01:19Perfect.
01:01:25Before she gets here.
01:01:26Perfect.
01:01:27Perfect.
01:01:36Do it.
01:01:37Oh, yeah.
01:01:38Do it.
01:01:39Let's do it.
01:01:40Fuck me.
01:01:41Fuck me now.
01:01:42No.
01:01:47What? What's wrong?
01:01:49I can't... I can't get it in.
01:01:52Just try down there. It's like desert down there.
01:01:55It's sandpaper.
01:01:57Okay, I get the picture.
01:01:59Just try it again.
01:02:03No.
01:02:04Why is this happening?
01:02:06We fooled around before.
01:02:08I was dripping wet. I came like four times, remember?
01:02:11Just do what you did then.
01:02:13I already did my thing.
01:02:15I already tried.
01:02:18What? What is different this time?
01:02:21I don't know.
01:02:24Last time...
01:02:27I honestly don't even know what you're talking about.
01:02:30What?
01:02:32You're not JJ?
01:02:34But your name is Jeremy Jones.
01:02:36How can you not be JJ?
01:02:39Who the hell is this JJ?
01:02:42Where are you going?
01:02:43We're not done here.
01:02:45I can still do this.
01:02:46I just need a little bit of work.
01:02:47I can do this.
01:02:49I don't need JJ.
01:02:50I don't need anyone else.
01:02:52We can do this.
01:02:55Go team.
01:02:59What?
01:03:00Just keep going.
01:03:05Jeremy?
01:03:07Are you...
01:03:07Shit.
01:03:18Where's Jeremy?
01:03:21We were just...
01:03:23You know...
01:03:25Hey babe.
01:03:26Just working out.
01:03:31How could you, you bastard?
01:03:37You might want to...
01:03:39What?
01:03:40What?
01:03:46Mariela!
01:03:48Mariela!
01:03:49You know those aren't mine!
01:03:51At least not all of them.
01:03:54What is wrong with you?
01:04:00What is wrong with you?
01:04:03It used to be so pure.
01:04:05Well no more.
01:04:07That's it.
01:04:08Really.
01:04:09That's the last one.
01:04:09Don't do this.
01:04:17Oh.
01:04:21Oh, my God!
01:04:27No!
01:04:28What?
01:04:32I don't know if you are mem wingion.
01:04:34Oh!
01:04:34What?
01:04:47What is it? What are you doing down here?
01:04:51Waiting for everyone to leave so I can sneak out and get far, far away from here.
01:04:56What? Why? Nothing. Just this blind guy and his dog and...
01:05:02Honey, it's gonna be okay.
01:05:05No, it's not okay. God. And you know whose fault it is?
01:05:11I'm sorry.
01:05:12It's Jake's. Jake's fault. That blind cheating bastard.
01:05:18Yes. He is such a dickwad. You need to confront him.
01:05:22Yeah. Yeah, I need to confront him. I mean, it's my birthday and where is he anyway?
01:05:28Like, why isn't he hanging out with me?
01:05:30You know, you just call him here and give him a big piece of your mind.
01:05:34Yeah, a big piece. A big old chunk of my mind. A big piece of it.
01:05:39Yeah. You know, you might wanna...
01:05:43You need to look hot while you break up with him.
01:05:45Yeah, you're right.
01:05:48Why am I wearing a sheet?
01:05:49I know.
01:05:56I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I get shy around a beautiful woman like you.
01:06:04I got no game.
01:06:13It's not important.
01:06:27Hey, um...
01:06:28Eric, I can't talk right now.
01:06:30No, no, no. I really need to talk to you.
01:06:33Really, Eric, I can't right now, so...
01:06:35No, no, no, no. I just wanted to say I'm sorry about earlier and I'm just embarrassed and I wanna
01:06:42make it up to you.
01:06:42Eric, really? I don't care. It's fine.
01:06:45No, but I do. I mean, I do. I care.
01:06:51I haven't known how to tell you. Maybe because, uh, I don't know, I'm a little shy.
01:06:57But I was wondering or hoping that we could go out sometime. Soon.
01:07:04Because I'm gonna be leaving for a little while and it would be nice to go out with like...
01:07:09Really? Eric, you're shy. You have no game.
01:07:13Well, no. Not really.
01:07:16Yeah, no. I can't do this. Sorry.
01:07:22Okay. Alright. I, uh...
01:07:28Happy birthday, then.
01:07:41Oh, I'm sorry. I was trying to kiss you.
01:07:53Wow.
01:08:06Here I come, baby. Get ready for your big birthday surprise.
01:08:13Oh, Eric, stop. Um, we can't do this.
01:08:17Oh, God, Danny. Not again.
01:08:18Oh, no, um...
01:08:19Honey, happy...
01:08:22The fuck is this? Who the hell are you, dude?
01:08:25Okay. Guys, don't.
01:08:31Cheryl. Baby. What is this?
01:08:36Aw, gee, Cheryl. You're...
01:08:39I've been looking for you all night and you've been...
01:08:42Oh, man, no wonder I couldn't find you.
01:08:45You couldn't find me?
01:08:46What about all those girls' vaginas you were in or your penis getting sucked?
01:08:52Cheryl, honey.
01:08:54No, no.
01:08:54We can work this out.
01:08:56Baby, I love you.
01:08:58Jake, no. You have to go.
01:08:59Baby, I'll be faithful from now on, please. I promise.
01:09:02No, Jake. I can't do this. I'm sorry.
01:09:05Cheryl, come on.
01:09:06No, Jake, please. Just go. Just go. I'm sorry.
01:09:10You're a harmless bitch!
01:09:12How can you do it?
01:09:14Yay! You did it. I'm so proud of you. You got your revenge sex.
01:09:18You left him a mere shell of a man.
01:09:21Revenge sex?
01:09:24It's really not what it sounds like at all.
01:09:27Right.
01:09:29That all makes sense now.
01:09:32Wow. I feel really stupid.
01:09:36Eric, I'm really... I'm really sorry.
01:09:39Cheryl, I really liked you.
01:09:42And you used me.
01:09:44Eric, please don't go. Please, Eric!
01:09:49Aren't you happy?
01:09:52Well, no. That's not exactly what it's supposed to feel like.
01:09:55You mean the sex? Was it?
01:09:57Yeah.
01:09:58No, we didn't quite do it.
01:10:00Oh. You know, I couldn't seem to do it either.
01:10:04Really?
01:10:04I just never found the right guy. Or guys.
01:10:08Anyway, we better get downstairs. People are starting to leave.
01:10:12I wonder how Sue did.
01:10:25I can't believe she dumped me, man. This is bullshit!
01:10:29God!
01:10:31Oh!
01:10:33Suck it!
01:10:36Come out of here!
01:10:38Yeah!
01:10:39He has good hair, though.
01:10:44Don't you fuse on me.
01:10:47And don't fuse on my car, either.
01:11:02Oh, Sue, are you alright?
01:11:06Was it from sex? Did you pop your cork?
01:11:09I don't think so. Not with the guy, anyway.
01:11:12Oh, don't ask.
01:11:14Every possible object.
01:11:16It's like every mechanical thing.
01:11:18It was like...
01:11:20Transformers.
01:11:21They just all became vibrators.
01:11:23I told you.
01:11:25It's addicting.
01:11:28So, what about Chris?
01:11:30The last time I saw him, he was running away through dear life.
01:11:32I told you he was gay.
01:11:34Well, I think I'm just...
01:11:36Oh, cramp.
01:11:39Oh, I think it's broken.
01:11:42So, wait.
01:11:44None of us cashed an RV card.
01:11:51Oh, Joanna, you're so sweet.
01:11:54So, let's go grab some food.
01:11:56Wanna go?
01:11:57No.
01:11:59I think I should finish up here.
01:12:02Did you ever find that guy you were looking for?
01:12:04No.
01:12:06I don't know.
01:12:07For some reason, I just realized...
01:12:09He needs to be my first.
01:12:12Or something.
01:12:13Why, do you know him?
01:12:15Sort of.
01:12:16Oh.
01:12:17Well, hey, if you happen to run into him, just tell him I'd like to see him again.
01:12:28I love him.
01:12:29Love him.
01:12:29Shut it.
01:12:30You wanna do it?
01:12:30I don't wanna hear it from you.
01:12:31You wanna get married?
01:12:32You wanna do it?
01:12:33Ever, ever, ever.
01:12:34Not even.
01:12:35I know him.
01:12:37You wanna do it?
01:12:43I know him.
01:12:44I can't normalize.
01:12:50I know him, and I wanna get married.
01:12:54I know him.
01:12:56I know him.
01:12:57I know him.
01:13:02Um, no, no way.
01:13:23Oh well, there's always next year.
01:13:48It's you, I've been waiting for you, J.J.
01:13:56J.J.
01:13:58J.J.
01:14:16J.J.
01:14:17J.J.
01:14:49J.J.
01:15:03J.J.
01:15:05J.J.
01:15:09J.J.
01:15:10J.J.
01:15:10J.J.
01:15:12J.J.
01:15:13J.J.
01:15:15J.J.
01:15:16J.J.
01:15:16J.J.
01:15:16J.J.
01:15:19J.J.
01:15:20J.J.
01:15:21J.J.
01:15:21J.J.
01:15:21J.J.J.
01:15:21J.J.J.
01:15:22J.J.J.
01:15:27J.J.J.
01:15:28J.J.J.
01:15:34J.J.J.J.
01:15:36J.J.J.J.J.J.J.
01:15:41Well, I think you know what we should do.
01:15:551-900 confess.
01:15:58Sister Terese?
01:16:00Yeah, hon.
01:16:02There was a problem with your credit card.
01:16:04I just need the last three numbers in the back.
01:16:07Oh, sure.
01:16:10It's 271.
01:16:11Um, sister, I know this isn't a confession,
01:16:14but can I ask your opinion on something?
01:16:17Do you think if you do something bad that God will forgive you?
01:16:22Take you back?
01:16:24Sure, hon.
01:16:25Why not?
01:16:26As long as you're on the right path.
01:16:30Well, how do you know if you're on that path?
01:16:32I always look for some kind of sign from the universe.
01:16:37Something to let me know that it's all gonna be okay.
01:16:41Sister?
01:16:43Can I get up now?
01:16:45I really gotta pee.
01:16:46No!
01:16:47Hush your trap!
01:16:50Okay, honey.
01:16:51I really need to get back to work, but call back anytime.
01:16:54I will.
01:16:56I will.
01:16:57Thanks.
01:17:01Sister?
01:17:02Shut up or I'll punish you hard, you shit fucker!
01:17:05Mom!
01:17:21Eric, wait!
01:17:26Cheryl?
01:17:29Eric, um, look, I am so sorry about everything.
01:17:35I was trying to have revenge sex with you.
01:17:38At the beginning, but then at the end I wasn't.
01:17:42I just didn't want to do that with you.
01:17:45The revenge part, not the sex part.
01:17:48Um, I, I do want to go out with you.
01:17:54And I didn't realize that until this morning.
01:17:58I mean, you're a completely different guy than Jake is,
01:18:01and he's all over these pink-
01:18:04Come on, I gotta get going.
01:18:06Oh.
01:18:07Wow.
01:18:08Um, Cheryl, uh, this is my sister Tina.
01:18:12Tina, Cheryl.
01:18:14Hi, nice to meet you.
01:18:20Um, so, um, do you mind if I call you in a few days?
01:18:25When I get back?
01:18:26Yeah, sure.
01:18:34Oh.
01:18:35Sorry, no kissing, right?
01:18:37No, kissing.
01:18:38Oh.
01:18:39Mm.
01:18:40Mm.
01:18:56Hey, did you ever, uh, get those flowers I sent you?
01:19:02I, I don't even care that you hooked up with Lexi.
01:19:05Wait, what?
01:19:06I never did that.
01:19:08I mean, you don't have to lie about it.
01:19:10She told me all about your pierced tongue.
01:19:18She must have me mixed up with someone else.
01:19:21I wonder who it was.
01:19:23I wonder who it was.
01:19:58I wonder who it was.
01:19:58Dear Lord, please forgive me.
01:20:02I mean, if you could just...
01:20:04I don't know, like, send me a sign?
01:20:10I don't know.
01:20:12I don't know who it is.
01:20:12I don't know.
01:20:12I can't tell you.
01:20:12I don't know who it is.
01:20:13No.
01:20:25No, no.
01:20:32Well, I have to cry for you.
01:20:33Okay, come on, what?
01:20:34I'll see you again.
01:20:34What?
01:20:36I just wanna cry for you?
01:20:40Excuse me! Excuse me! Do you know where the church is? It's on Fountain Street.
01:20:46Um, yeah, that's the church I go to. Or used to go to. Um, it's straight up that way and
01:20:52then left.
01:20:54Thank you. You're more than welcome to come with me if you like.
01:20:59Oh, um, I don't know.
01:21:09Well, that's pretty powerful.
01:21:13Oh, 250 horsepower, 225 pounds of torque. Like I said, you're more than welcome to hop on.
01:21:23I don't think so. But thanks.
01:21:26What's your name? Sue. What's yours?
01:21:30Jesus.
01:21:32Really? Si.
01:21:36Maybe I could use the ride.
01:21:55Ahhhh.
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