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The Chief S02E04 (2026) [Full Movie] [Hot 2026]Full EP - Full
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00:02Are you telling me that 70% of our drones don't work in the rain?
00:07Well, they do now. We attach little umbrellas.
00:11Good work, Muldoon.
00:12Right. Thank you very much, everyone.
00:16Now, Chief, I just wanted to check how you were holding up under the investigation.
00:21Oh, it's not an investigation, Lindsay.
00:23No, no, just as part of my contract renewal, the police federation are conducting a cursory check into my past.
00:30Why would they do that, sir?
00:31Well, to reassure the Scottish public that their police force are beyond reproach.
00:35It was on my recommendation, actually, after we renewed Malcolm Maguire's contract.
00:41Bent Malcolm.
00:43Excellent policeman, first rate, but he was selling stolen goods on Facebook Marketplace, so...
00:48We should have seen the clues. I mean, we are the police.
00:51Yeah, well, hindsight's 20-20, Muldoon.
00:54Anyway, it's a formality, a box tick.
00:58Got it, sir.
00:58No, no. No winking. This is a wink-free scenario. It's purely protocol.
01:05Protocol? Understood.
01:07No, don't. No nose tapping.
01:09Listen, sir. If something comes up in your past, say you left the boot in for too long.
01:14We've all done it. Different times.
01:17I will back you, gaffer. I'll make sure and keep it zipped.
01:21Don't zip. No zipping.
01:23My character and conduct are beyond reproach.
01:25Ah, it's good to know, sir.
01:28Right. If that's a supportive wink, then I accept that wink.
01:32You'll scoosh it, Chief. There's no Wallace behaviour in your past.
01:36Oh, Greg Wallace. The pudding boy. No.
01:39Absolutely not. I respect women of a certain age.
01:42Of all ages.
01:45All women. All people.
01:47But particularly all...
01:49Women...
01:50People.
01:51Thank you, women people.
01:53That will be all.
02:09Morning, Cameron.
02:11Ah, Lachlan, Belinda. Beautiful day for paddle.
02:14We should join us one day, Cameron.
02:16Oh, I'd love to.
02:17I've just got to get my head round whether it's little tennis or big ping pong.
02:22Oh, one thing.
02:24Have you managed to talk to your daughter yet, a bud?
02:34This country is a joke.
02:36You end up in court over nothing.
02:37Nothing.
02:38The system is rigged.
02:39It's unbelievable.
02:41Court, eh?
02:42To be honest, she's on first name terms with most of the staff down there.
02:46So is our daughter.
02:47Oh, well, then you know what I'm talking about.
02:49Kids, eh? Of course you love...
02:50She's an advocate.
02:52Oh, right.
02:53She's a...
02:53Oh, she's Samantha Bannerman, Crawford.
02:55Right.
02:56Well.
02:56Well done.
02:57Good for her.
02:58Good for you.
02:59Tacking back to the matter in hand.
03:02The van.
03:04We don't want her to get rid of her beliefs.
03:05Of course not.
03:06She's young.
03:07We were young.
03:08We get it.
03:08We get it.
03:09We were all there.
03:10Maggie, Maggie, Maggie.
03:11Out, out, out.
03:12And I boycotted South African orange juice.
03:15And even today I listen to kneecap on Spotify.
03:18The van.
03:19It was a major topic in the last Residents Association meeting.
03:23Major AOB.
03:24Well, so much AOB that the AOB had AOB.
03:28And the AOB was the van.
03:30Can you see where we're coming from?
03:32I understand, Lachlan.
03:34I grew up a mere faded nine iron from here.
03:38The only van in our cul-de-sac delivered longest-teen oysters and hand-dived scallops.
03:44I'll have a wad with her.
03:46She was talking about driving to China to help the Uyghurs anyway.
03:49Or driving to Cardiff to see the Ezra Collective.
03:51Either way, it's maybe time to go with the tires press.
03:55Well, that's great news.
03:56Oh, we're having a BBQ this week.
03:59Would you and Ellen like to join us?
04:00Oh, we're delighted, yes.
04:03Any dietary requirements?
04:04Well, Ellen is a strict vegan.
04:06But to compensate, I'll eat anything that bleeds.
04:13I can't believe you'd rather cozy up to a slave owner than stand up for your own daughter.
04:19What?
04:20He's a Bannerman Crawford.
04:23Tobacco Lord.
04:23Plantation boss.
04:24Slave owner.
04:25He's not a slave owner.
04:27His ancestors, maybe.
04:29Hundreds of years ago.
04:31His wealth is inherited.
04:33It's tainted.
04:34You can't charge someone purely on their ancestors.
04:37Otherwise, you'd be Scotland's greatest cop.
04:40I'm also striving for justice.
04:42Historic justice.
04:44Please.
04:45These are my people.
04:47I belong here.
04:49Well, I'm not going anywhere.
04:51Can't you just park your principles for five seconds?
04:54Nope, I literally can't go anywhere.
04:57You're tagged.
04:58I'm under curfew order.
05:00Can you pay the fine?
05:01For what?
05:02For providing vitals.
05:04Historical context.
05:05All right.
05:06So you've vandalised the statue.
05:09Great.
05:09So now, I'm not only your father.
05:11I'm your jailer.
05:13My own daughter.
05:14Tagged.
05:15Like a cheap bottle of Vaudi and Tesco's.
05:19Unless you pay the fine.
05:21No, no.
05:21That is a red line I do not cross.
05:24You got into this situation.
05:26You get out of it.
05:27Now, I need a couple of rounds of a poise.
05:30Get yourself down to Charlie's Cheesemonger.
05:36Right, I'll go.
05:39Thought they would have completed their background check by now.
05:43What's keeping them?
05:43Oh, you know what the police fed edition are like, Chief?
05:46Dragging their heels.
05:47I've said it before.
05:48I will back you, sir.
05:49If you've dangled a wee radge out a ten-storey window, we've all done it.
05:54Now you're doubling up.
05:56The wink and the nose tap.
05:57Don't double up.
05:58My behaviour is and always has been exemplary.
06:00I think you should know that a few of the boys have been saying that maybe something nefarious has came
06:04to light.
06:05No smoke without fire.
06:07No stink without keach.
06:08No smoke, no fire.
06:10No stink, no keach.
06:11Okay, sir.
06:12I will work to shut the rumours down.
06:15What rumours?
06:16Well, I'm not saying there's anything behind it, Chief, but, uh, bigamy.
06:20Bigamy?
06:20I can't even get one wife.
06:22Have you heard this, Muldoon?
06:23No, sir.
06:24Good.
06:24I heard you were selling dodgy Minjaro on the dark web.
06:27Oh, for a chance of that.
06:29Just shut these rumours down, Muldoon.
06:32And, Lindsay, see if you can find out why the Police Federation are taking so long.
06:35Scan the horizon for smoke signals.
06:38Chief, can't say that.
06:52Is this yours?
06:54Certainly not.
06:55When there is an investigation into your historical behaviour...
06:59A routine protocol box tick.
07:02And I am sent this anonymously, then it is logical to conclude it's from some kind of whistleblower.
07:07Logical?
07:08Hmm.
07:09Someone trying to tell me that the Chief behaved inappropriately at the Christmas party.
07:13What?
07:14You didn't for a moment think that maybe someone was trying to tell you that you're an arse?
07:20So, I suppose that is plausible as well?
07:23Or maybe someone saying we're making an arse of running the country?
07:26I can't believe you thought that was mine.
07:29Mine has heft and definition.
07:31I'm Michelangelo's David, not some slack-arsed sado from accounts.
07:38Well, we need you to sort it out, Chief.
07:41Tamp down the rumours that are getting out of hand.
07:43Well, what have you heard?
07:45Selling stolen goods on Facebook Marketplace.
07:47No, that's bent, Malcolm.
07:48You've got your scandals mixed up.
07:50Not that there's a scandal involving me.
07:52It's tittle-tattle.
07:53I'm having to defend you to the First Minister.
07:56There's nothing to defend!
07:58Well, take some jalebes if you want, man.
08:01Nephew just got his HGP licence.
08:05Send them my congratulations.
08:22So, Ellen, why the bracelet?
08:25I vandalised the statue on Hunter Square.
08:28What?
08:29Giving it vital historical context.
08:32Bannerman Crawford.
08:33It's one of ours.
08:34One of yours.
08:35Don't worry about the statue, Ellen.
08:37That old bastard blackened the family name.
08:40I'll join you next time.
08:43That's not funny.
08:44It's not funny.
08:46All of this was paid for by slavery.
08:48Hardly.
08:49I'm a senior partner with Anderson, McGorry, MacLeish and Matheson.
08:53I earn my own money.
08:55Slavery created a system of wealth accumulation for slave owners and their descendants.
09:00You know, I do find myself conflicted.
09:03We give back what we can.
09:05I soup kitchen and I litter pick on the meadows.
09:09Charity doesn't address the root cause of social problems.
09:13You know, you're just a...
09:14A-ha!
09:14Cuff you time!
09:17Sadly, yes.
09:18Let's get you home before you start buzzing like your table's ready at the Toby Carberry.
09:25Look, look, look.
09:26I am sorry that you don't like staring at my van.
09:30But I don't like staring at slavery terrors!
09:32Yes, slavery terrors.
09:33That was her favourite Enid Blyton when she was a little girl.
09:39It's their family history.
09:40Can't you just look the other way?
09:41What?
09:42Like they won't with my van?
09:54What are you looking for, Chief?
09:55I'm trying to find out if my neighbours have a legal right to remove Ellen's van.
10:00Title condition, Scotland 2003, AXA.
10:03Ah, thank you, Muldoon.
10:06Did you ever have troublesome neighbours?
10:09Not too bad now, sir, but when I was wee, one boy stoved in her wall and nicked her telly.
10:14But it was a World Cup qualifier, so fair play to him.
10:18He suffered plenty in the end.
10:19Retribution.
10:21Scheme justice.
10:22Norway beat us 4-0.
10:25Dodgy neighbours, hey, sir.
10:26Do you want us to go and pay them a visit?
10:29Don't start that.
10:30We don't need to bring a wink into this.
10:32We could speak to them.
10:33Hey, hey, hey!
10:34No, no stop either.
10:36Paul!
10:38Any emails from the Federation?
10:40All quiet on that particular front, sir.
10:42It's a box tick.
10:43Why the delay?
10:44Were you one of the dwarves in the Christmas Pantone 93?
10:48How did you know that?
10:49Reddit forum.
10:50There's a discussion on you.
10:52It was a different type.
10:54Somebody also says that they saw you scanning apples as tatties in Lidl.
10:59Who'd start a Reddit forum on me?
11:01I did.
11:02I thought I'd smoke out some info.
11:04Plus, I've been adding some positive stuff under a variety of aliases.
11:07Such as?
11:08He's a confident and impressive tipper.
11:10I have personally seen him stroke a puppy.
11:13He looks very distinguished in the lambent evening light.
11:16I mean, all of this is true, Paul.
11:17I don't know.
11:18A Reddit forum, I think it's counterproductive.
11:21When you're trying to smoke something out, you don't go barging in with a flamethrower.
11:25Close it down.
11:26Got it.
11:31Come chat call, attack.
11:35Come chat call, attack.
11:39Urgh.
11:41Attack.
11:42Attack.
11:43Attack.
11:47Surrender?
11:48No.
11:49No, actually.
11:49Let's just take a break.
11:50We'll come back to it.
11:52My luck's got to change soon.
11:54I'm surprised you even play this game, Ellen.
11:57Empire building.
11:59Subjugation.
11:59War mongering.
12:00I've got to do something.
12:02I'm so bored kicking around the place.
12:05Stuck with you.
12:06Well, straight back at you, kid.
12:08I'm stuck with you too.
12:09It is worse for me.
12:10I'm young, and you're half dead already.
12:14People at your age are meant to be stuck at home moaning about interest rates and falling asleep during reruns
12:20of Bargain Hunt.
12:21I am years from retirement, young lady.
12:28Unless they find something.
12:31Come on, let's play some beauty.
12:33Keep my mind off things.
12:34Come on.
12:35I don't get it.
12:36It's so random.
12:38How do you make them kick?
12:40How many times have I got to tell you?
12:42They don't kick.
12:44You flick them.
12:45Flick them.
12:46And you flick the goalie too.
12:48No, you kind of, you stab at it.
12:50You kind of wiggle and stab.
12:51Wiggle and stab.
12:53This was like Xbox for boomers.
12:55Very popular in my day, Ellen.
12:57We also had rugby and cricket.
12:59Nothing for the lasses, of course.
13:01My poor wee sister.
13:02She happened to pretend that Donald Ford and Drew Busby were Torval and Dean.
13:17What if they have found something?
13:20Oh God, what would I do?
13:22What sort of job would I get at my age?
13:25Uncle Jeff went back to work at Iceland.
13:27From proudly guarding a nation to freezing my balls off, stacking fish fingers in a walk-in chiller?
13:33I don't think so.
13:35You could probably make a living on the lecture circuit.
13:39Ah, that's more my speed, yes.
13:43The lecture circuit.
13:45I thought the chief's speech was very good, Sheena.
13:48Yes, so did I, Margaret.
13:49He's really kept his looks, hasn't he?
13:52Kept them.
13:53If anything, he's better looking.
13:57Are you all right, Dad?
13:58Oh, no, it's the Bannermen Crawfords.
14:02They're on the attack.
14:03We might have to join forces.
14:04You're 50 battalions in my one piece.
14:08Come on.
14:09So, Residence Association last night.
14:11We done with the AOB of the AOB when a spot of AOB came up.
14:16Let me guess.
14:17The van and a possible solution.
14:19Ellen, Blinda and I are firmly of the opinion that charity begins at home.
14:25And under the circumstances, the Crescents have clubbed together, and we're happy to pay your fine.
14:32Oh, so you're going to buy me like you bought your slaves?
14:36Oh, not that again.
14:37Come on, please, just take it.
14:39What's taking?
14:40Your blood money?
14:41The passion of youth.
14:43One man's blood money is another man's legitimately inherited lorgette, Ellen.
14:47I can't be bought.
14:49Well, that'll be a first for your family.
14:51What's that supposed to mean?
14:52Oh, come on.
14:53It's all over the Crescent.
14:55It's only a rumour, Lackey.
14:56You're being investigated for taking kickbacks.
14:59Who told you that?
15:00Samantha works with a clerk who knows a chef who works in chambers, and he overheard an MSP talking to
15:05the Procurator Fiscal.
15:06It's a box-ticking obligation as part of my contract renewal.
15:12Please, just take the money.
15:14Some of the residents are getting worried about house prices.
15:16This is the pinnacle of postcodes after all.
15:19Did you make this?
15:21No.
15:22Because it's not polite, is it?
15:23If it was polite, it would say, please.
15:26Please, just move it.
15:28Please.
15:29We don't want it here.
15:31People are upset.
15:32Husbands and wives are falling out.
15:34Belinda and I are falling out.
15:36Mingus Radford Brooks is in his bed.
15:39Right there.
15:39Dying.
15:41Dying.
15:41Dying.
15:42Do you understand?
15:43He's in that house, lying in his bed, and his dearest wish was that the last thing he would see
15:48would be his beautiful cornissing.
15:50His beautiful Victorian cornissing on his spacious 15-foot ceiling.
15:55But no, the last thing you'll see is not his beautiful cornissing.
15:58It'll be that bloody van!
15:59Well, maybe you should take some of your legitimately inherited largesse and buy him some blackout blinds.
16:06Ellen?
16:08Yeah, I've tried your best.
16:15Lindsay.
16:16Lindsay.
16:16Any news?
16:17Any updates?
16:18Are you okay?
16:19I want you to feel supported.
16:21How's your mental health?
16:23Well, currently not great.
16:24This delay, it just doesn't make any sense.
16:28My character and conduct are beyond reproach.
16:31Can you think of anything, anything at all from your past that might be a bit dodge?
16:38The only thing I can think of is that time I misgendered one of the police dogs.
16:44How do you misgender a police dog?
16:46Well, this is easily done.
16:47It was the Canine Bravery Awards at Linlithgow, and I just hung the medal around Shadow's neck,
16:52and I referred to him as one hell of a brave bitch.
16:56It's and they're not best pleased.
16:57Check before you speak, Chief.
16:59It's the golden rule.
17:01I'm the leading law enforcement officer in the land.
17:04I can't be crawling around on all fours, lifting the tail of every Alsatian I come across.
17:09It's easier with horses.
17:11I've never misgendered a horse.
17:13Well, no, because they're bits and pieces.
17:15Well, they're head-hiked, aren't they?
17:15You can't, they're staring you in the face.
17:17Yeah, you can't miss.
17:19No.
17:20So, yeah, well, it can't have been that, because I, I would have been told.
17:24Okay, well, keep your ear to the ground.
17:28You hear anything, get on the jungle drums.
17:31Chief!
17:32Hmm?
17:32You can't say that.
17:34Oh, no, dear, sorry.
17:38I am never going to that canteen again.
17:41It's like running the gauntlet.
17:43Rumours flying like I'm Indiana Jones dodging the blow darts.
17:48Oh, here comes the chief.
17:49Oh, oh, oh.
17:55Yeah?
17:56Oh.
17:57Oh.
17:58Sun?
17:59Oh, no.
18:00That's dice.
18:02Gambling.
18:03Yeah.
18:04Just go home.
18:05Relax.
18:06I can't go home.
18:08They'll be waiting for me.
18:10Oh, Cameron, have you found the time to move the van yet?
18:14I thought the Crescent would be my haven, my sanctuary.
18:18Can't you just move the van?
18:21Well, if I move the van, then Elm thinks I'm a fascist.
18:24And if I don't move the van, then my neighbours think I'm a communist.
18:28Ah, I just wish that bloody van would disappear.
18:33Sir, I need you to authorise raids on organised crime gangs and suspected drug boats.
18:40Some of these are months away.
18:42Aye, well, Justice thought we should get authorisation just in case.
18:45Just in case of what?
18:47The investiga-
18:49Sorry.
18:50Cursory background check is dragging on.
18:53There's succession planning.
18:55Behind my back.
18:56Worse, in front of my front.
18:57Belt and braces, I'm sure, sir.
19:03This has all worked out rather well for you, Muldoon, hasn't it?
19:06What do you mean, sir?
19:07Oh, I'll shut down the rumours, sir.
19:09Maybe you started them.
19:11I have never been anything but supportive of you, sir.
19:19Did the Federation question you about me?
19:23Yes.
19:24What did you say?
19:26That's confidential, sir.
19:31In my years of service, I have never witnessed even a suggestion of inappropriate behaviour from the Chief Commissioner.
19:39Hard-working, loyal, he's an inspirational leader.
19:42No wink?
19:43No wink.
19:45He's dedicated his life to public service.
19:48He's a consummate professional.
19:52Consummate has two M's.
19:55Muldoon.
19:56Thank you, sir.
19:57Oh, no.
19:59Thank you, Muldoon.
20:13Ellen, what have you done now?
20:15Nothing.
20:16Two cops turned up and covered up my van.
20:18I thought it was your idea.
20:19No.
20:20Oh, Paul.
20:24Do you like the tent, Chief?
20:26Problem solved.
20:27Obviously.
20:27I appreciate it, but I...
20:31Oh.
20:32Lachlan.
20:33Belinda.
20:34What do you think?
20:36Are you happy now?
20:37Looks like there's been a murder.
20:39Or worse.
20:40The SNP have moved in.
20:42Out of sight.
20:43Out of mind.
20:45Now, Mingus can see out his final days in the company of his beautiful cornucing.
20:51I was really hoping you wouldn't come to this.
20:53But the Residents Association have authorized me to take next steps.
20:57What do you mean next steps?
20:58Breaching a title condition in the Title Conditions Scotland Act 2003.
21:04Expect to hear from our lawyer.
21:08Legal action, eh?
21:10Now they're threatening legal action against me.
21:13The people's chief.
21:15All because of you and your bloody van.
21:19Right.
21:20That's it.
21:20I'm done.
21:21I'm paying you a fine.
21:22You don't need to.
21:23My period of monitoring ended two days ago.
21:26I'm a free woman.
21:28Can leave when I like.
21:30Well, why haven't you?
21:33Oh, I'm not letting the crescent win.
21:36Oh, the sky is blue, the grass is green, and the crescent always wins.
21:45Oh, what do they want now?
21:52Cameron, is there anything I should be worried about?
21:56Anything I should prepare myself for?
21:59Was our whole marriage a sham?
22:03Are you gay?
22:04I'm not gay.
22:06Well, there was that guy that time in Magaluf, remember?
22:10He went to the wrestling together.
22:13Big Frank?
22:14I think this is projection, Barbara.
22:17You were the one getting on the slather sun lotion on your back.
22:20I couldn't reach.
22:22And you were asleep, snoring away the latest John Grisham sliding off your belly.
22:28Barbara, you've got nothing to worry about.
22:33You're stressed.
22:34Maybe it's time to step back.
22:36Step down.
22:37Oh, no.
22:39This whole thing has made me realise that I need to work.
22:43I'm not ready for retirement.
22:46Being trapped by the crescent.
22:50A life of barbecues and a nice pork pie and a pint before wandering down to Murrayfield.
22:57And gallery openings.
22:59And, oh, you must come and stay in our divine villain, Tuscany.
23:03And, oh, there's an extraordinary production of the steamy at the Traverse.
23:08And petty little disputes about a van.
23:13My world has shrunk, Barbara.
23:15From leading a proud nation's crime-fighting force to a petty little dispute about a van.
23:28It's the Justice Minister.
23:30Oh, well, they've obviously found something.
23:33They found something.
23:34I mean, if it was good news, he'd tell me in person.
23:36No, it's bad news by email.
23:39Dumped by text.
23:41New boob job insta.
23:42This could still be good news, Cameron.
23:45I'm an innocent man, Barbara.
23:47And I've been brought down by trumped-up charges.
23:51Cameron, man up.
23:53Whatever it is, face it.
24:02Hello, Minister?
24:06What's that?
24:06Sorry, you'll...
24:07Could you speak up?
24:08There's a bit of a commotion at my end.
24:10I...
24:11Looks like the press.
24:13I...
24:14Sorry.
24:15What was that?
24:16Could you say that again?
24:18Say again?
24:20I am delighted that you are all here, to save you coming down to headquarters, for the announcement
24:28that the routine box tick protocol glimpse has concluded, and I am fully exonerated.
24:37My character and conduct are beyond reproach, and you will be delighted to hear that I am
24:43to continue in my position as the chief, your chief, the people's chief.
24:48So why did it take so long?
24:50Ah, a simple misunderstanding.
24:53Malcolm Maguire, or Bent Malcolm as the Fourth Estate have christened him, named his six-bedroom
24:58Marbea Villa, Mikkelsen Mansions.
25:01This was a disrespectful dig at myself, and not, as the police federation wrongly assumed,
25:06a tribute.
25:07You're off the hook.
25:09I was never on the hook.
25:12It's not that it's not not proven.
25:14I am not guilty.
25:16Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen.
25:19Please, please, please.
25:21I have a nation to police.
25:24Thank you very much.
25:31Now that you're actually leaving, well, I'm going to miss you.
25:36I'm going to miss you too.
25:38But it's time.
25:40Best I leave you with your people.
25:44What if these aren't my people?
25:45What if your people turned out to be someone else's people?
25:48Maybe you're my people.
25:50I am your people, Dad.
25:53But trust me, these are way more your people.
25:57Bon voyage, Ellen.
25:58Is it the Uyghurs or the Ezra Collective?
26:01Oh, both.
26:02I'm working the charity stall outside the gig.
26:05Well, have a great trip.
26:06Here, have some of Belinda's focaccia for your journey.
26:10Oh.
26:10Oh.
26:11Um, is this the one that's laced with the truffle oil from Pyramid?
26:15Pyramid, yes.
26:17Um, no thank you.
26:19Uh, they use Legato Roman Yolo dogs to find the truffles.
26:22Um, so yeah, it's exploitative.
26:27So, I'll, um, I'll find the parking space for the van down at the station.
26:31When you're back.
26:38Good luck.
26:39Thanks, Dad.
26:59Tell you what, I'll pop down to Charlie's Cheesemonger's and get some of Poise to go with that focaccia.
27:05Boo!
27:06Boo!
27:06Boo!
27:07Boo!
27:08Boo!
27:08You
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