00:00You are a romantic fool.
00:02And you make me want to vomit with this girl.
00:07Italians are known for being great lovers.
00:10The signora looks fantastic.
00:11But this never applies.
00:13Brother, you're more beautiful to me than...
00:15To Jake.
00:15Jake.
00:16Jake, what the hell are you doing?
00:17Yeah, what the hell are you doing?
00:19Dumped you.
00:20Eight years ago.
00:21Eight years ago.
00:22Get out of here.
00:24Time heals most wounds.
00:26But Jake is like a homophilia.
00:28A hemophiliac.
00:30A hemophiliac.
00:33She's my soulmate.
00:34Soulmates are like fish.
00:35They're everywhere.
00:36You've got to get back in the game.
00:37Oh, my nudge.
00:38Are you prejudiced against the most beautiful woman in the world?
00:40Italians?
00:41No, but I'm in love.
00:42You know that.
00:43What about her?
00:45What the hell are you doing?
00:46Hey, you're a sea lion.
00:48Roar.
00:49I'm Ruth.
00:50I'm Jake.
00:50How are you?
00:51Nice to meet you.
00:52Don't screw this up.
00:53Promise me you're not going to screw this thing up.
00:54I'm telling you right now.
00:55If you screw this one up...
00:56I'm not.
00:56I'm not going to screw it up.
00:58So what do you do?
00:58I'm a doctor.
00:59Really?
01:00What kind?
01:00A veterinarian.
01:02Okay, so you're not a real doctor.
01:04You're the biggest moron of all time or you just act like this?
01:07Now, to find love.
01:09I think I might have found someone.
01:10She doesn't have big boobs and look like a supermodel?
01:12No, she's got those qualities, too.
01:17You'll have to get over the past.
01:19Spend months of your life committed to someone and then...
01:21There's only three choices.
01:23Past, present, and future.
01:25And discover that there are other fish in the sea.
01:28I mean, she's wicked hot.
01:30This chick is the real deal.
01:32I'm dating a guy.
01:33He's got to be a step up from my vibrator.
01:39Asgard Entertainment presents...
01:41Jake, I need to speak to him.
01:42It took eight years to realize this.
01:44I'm here now.
01:45Are you in love with her?
01:47A comedy about love.
01:49There's a window in time when any two people can get together.
01:52It doesn't matter who they are.
01:53But once that window closes...
01:55Smash!
01:55Nothing!
01:56Romance.
01:57You make her feel special.
01:58You make her feel like a woman.
02:00And everything Italian.
02:02You asked me if I had a dream.
02:03You're my dream.
02:08Marissa!
02:08I want you to come back with this.
02:10I'll tell you if you don't.
02:12There's something I have to tell you.
02:14I'm Polish!
02:15What?
02:16What are you, too good to be Italian?
02:18Everybody wants to be Italian.
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