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John Cena - Word Life (Documentario 2004)
In questo documentario del 2004, John Cena ripercorre la sua carriera da wrestler, mostrando alcuni dei suoi match e freestyle più memorabili.
#wwe #wrestling #johncena
In questo documentario del 2004, John Cena ripercorre la sua carriera da wrestler, mostrando alcuni dei suoi match e freestyle più memorabili.
#wwe #wrestling #johncena
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SportTrascrizione
00:02So, you think you're untouchable?
00:05Word Life, this is basically...
00:07Welcome to Small Town America, where the grass is green and the girls are pretty.
00:11You are actually up in West Newbury right now as we speak.
00:15Look around, this is the place where it all started.
00:18Everything started. This is where we used to freestyle as kids.
00:21This is where I used to run around in crappy diapers wanting to be a rock star.
00:25This is where I used to wrestle with my brothers and shoot firecrackers at them.
00:28It all happened right here.
00:30Right in front of y'all.
00:31So, I want to welcome you to my personal DVD, my personal video,
00:35exploring my character development through the WWE.
00:38And it all started way back on Halloween.
00:42You know me. I'm all about the retro, all about the throwbacks.
00:45So, they came to me on Halloween and said,
00:46Hey, listen, would you like to do this rap for us in a Halloween party?
00:49You can dress up as Eminem or Vanilla Ice.
00:54Yo, Eminem is hot, no doubt.
00:55But I got to keep it retro. I got to keep it throwback.
00:58And if you weren't rocking Ice in the 90s in your drop top 5.0,
01:03then you weren't listening to hip-hop.
01:04So, I had to rock it for Ice.
01:06I had to do it, you know.
01:07Keep it nasty with a big wig, you know, the crazy suit.
01:10So, check it out, man. See what you think.
01:12Hope you enjoy the rest of the DVD.
01:14We'll be hollering back at you.
01:15You know, jump on through.
01:16All right?
01:17All right, stop. Collaborate and listen.
01:20Ice is back with a new proposition.
01:23Your position is that of a failure.
01:25I'm a nailer to Jamie Noble's trailer.
01:27And then I dare you to run around and cause a scare.
01:30Give people the shakes and make them change their underwear.
01:32I'm on top. It's my fault that you're under there.
01:34You want a bear? Have all those shapers back here.
01:37I'm fast. I got to go. It's been a blast.
01:39Came out the locker room, stole Rey Mysterio's mask.
01:42Tried to get Taker's cast, but it was plastered on too tight.
01:44Beast, I got to go about the hot white bike.
01:48Come on.
01:50That's horrible.
01:52That's horrible.
01:55You know how we do it.
01:57Everybody thinks, you know, we're always in the gym all the time.
01:59I spend most of my time on PlayStation 2.
02:01You know how we do Smackdown, here comes a pain.
02:04And right now, I'm showing Brock Lesnar a thing or two about a thing or two.
02:09That's kind of art imitating life because it was John Cena showing Brock Lesnar
02:13about a thing or two about a thing or two, and Brock tried to mess with me way back.
02:17I remember Brock F5'd me into the ring post.
02:19Took me out for a few weeks.
02:21Thought that I'd just lay down like everybody else, have nothing to say.
02:25I came back with some stuff that put me on the map.
02:28It was that feud with Brock Lesnar that culminated at the huge pay-per-view
02:31in Worcester, Massachusetts.
02:33Backlap.
02:33I'm whipping you blindfolded, bro.
02:36By the way, for y'all, oh, no.
02:40Like, I wasn't looking, so he hits the F5.
02:42For all y'all who care, the cheater right here is trademarked.
02:45This is my cousin.
02:46Album dropping in June.
02:48Cop it.
02:49He's half of it.
02:50I'm half of it.
02:51It's like a Two Stooges collaboration.
02:52I'm getting up and whipping your ass.
02:54While y'all not looking, I'm killing you right now.
02:55Back to the matter at hand, we culminated in Worcester at Backlash.
02:59Probably the biggest feud of my career to date.
03:08I don't need a strategy guy.
03:09He does.
03:10I need a change.
03:11Anyway, check out these promos that we cut on Brock.
03:14This really put John Cena on the map because I came out of nowhere to stand face-to-face
03:19with the main power in the WWE.
03:21And I proved, hey, I can talk smack and I can back it up.
03:25He can talk smack too, but he doesn't back it up.
03:29Watch this.
03:32It burns, it burns, it doesn't.
03:33Get up, get up, get up.
03:34Is it hot in here?
03:35Indian sunburn?
03:38People think I'm crazy.
03:40That's what everybody's telling me.
03:42Because me beating you is like you winning a spelling bee.
03:48That's okay, tonight I silence them all.
03:51You're a Neanderthal, so I'll use words that's small.
03:56Me, Brock Lesnar, here comes the pain.
04:01God, build me strong.
04:03Forget to give me brain.
04:06You hop around all day like there's potatoes in your crack.
04:10That's a nice tattoo of your mother on your back.
04:17Yo, I'm untouchable.
04:20You can beat my ability.
04:22I'm like a basic math problem, Brock.
04:25You just can't finish me.
04:31I'd like to take this time to say thank you, Brock.
04:34Shattered my knee on TV, and now I can't walk.
04:38It's official.
04:40I got crippled by the meathead.
04:42But Brock, you left me breathing when you should have left me for dead.
04:48So I swear John Cena's a name you'll remember.
04:51From this point on, I declare war on Brock Lesnar.
04:55This is more than a match.
04:57It's a total obsession.
04:59I'll be watching everything you do 24-7.
05:02Forcing you to keep me in the back of your mind.
05:05And since your brain's so small, I won't be hard to find.
05:09I'll break you down.
05:11Watch you drown and not throw a rope.
05:14This is jail, Brock.
05:15We inmates.
05:17You just dropped the soap.
05:19Word.
05:23I sit here glued to the screen.
05:25Punching these keys.
05:27Watching everything you do on live internet feeds.
05:30I've downloaded high speed all the files that I need to make your hard drive crash.
05:35And to make your face bleed.
05:37You can't erase me.
05:39I'm gonna make you taste me.
05:41I'm a virus.
05:42I kill you the next time you face me.
05:45You jealous.
05:46You stole my shot at the brass ring.
05:48Everybody knows I'm the next big thing.
05:51You all bark and no bite.
05:53You stole my spotlight.
05:55I'm the great white hope.
05:57You're the great white hype.
05:59If you an animal, then I'm going on safari.
06:02I'm rocking PlayStation 2.
06:04You can't figure out Atari.
06:06Look in these eyes, Brock.
06:08Don't think that I won't shoot you.
06:10I'll leave you worthless like a nerd with no computer.
06:14Show the world that you can't even walk in my shoe.
06:18Your finish is the F5.
06:20Well, mine's the F you.
06:23The reason that I'm sitting here waiting for the dark is because of the F5 that I took from you,
06:28Brock.
06:29I don't think that you understand what I'm saying.
06:32You're gonna hit your knees quicker than a priest when he's praying.
06:36You're the poster child for the birth control pill.
06:40You go down quicker than a hoe for a $5 bill.
06:44I'm the real Superman.
06:46You ain't nothing but Clark Kent.
06:49I go for four quarters, your halftime like 50 cent.
06:53I'm gonna hang your ass like a Christmas tree ornament.
06:57I'll whack you more times than a masturbation tournament.
07:01You get my point now?
07:03Because before I thought you missed it.
07:06I'm a Viagra triple shot.
07:08You just a limp biscuit.
07:11Word life.
07:15They talk about the few days off a week that we get.
07:18This is one of them.
07:19And where am I going?
07:19I'm going to work.
07:21Right now, we're going to the recording studio.
07:23Trademarks behind the wheel.
07:27We're cheating, death.
07:28And we're going to record a new track.
07:30This is gonna be a track specifically based on the 50 most famous moments of WrestleMania.
07:35And of course, WrestleMania 20, what it means to us as performers.
07:40Now, when you think of the 50 greatest moments of WrestleMania, you gotta think of The Undertaker.
07:46Undefeated in his career at WrestleMania, the biggest stage of them all.
07:51But then he had to tangle with John Cena.
07:54Undertaker's all about respect.
07:56Undertaker owns the yard.
07:57The yard, the ring is his.
08:00A decade, over a decade of destruction.
08:03He is the American badass.
08:05He's the dead man.
08:07But I'm John Cena.
08:09And when he messes with me, if he expected me to just bow down and respect a decade of destruction
08:16and whatnot, that's not me.
08:18That's not how we do.
08:19So I need you to check out these freestyles.
08:22Because you're about to see how a rookie handles an experienced vet.
08:28You heard?
08:33What?
08:34You was expecting somebody else?
08:36Now you gonna hate on me?
08:38That's oh.
08:39Okay, I shake you right off.
08:40It's oh.
08:41Okay, I'm on fire right now.
08:42You heard?
08:44You need to listen up, Undertaker.
08:46See, I've been watching you ever since you debuted as dead man.
08:49You're full of more crap than a super-sized bed pan.
08:53And this whole thing's a front man.
08:56You were never deceased.
08:58You drive from funeral to funeral just to hit on a priest.
09:02I heard rumors about you, dog.
09:05You used to hit on men often.
09:07Our two-way Paul Barry said you shared the same coffin.
09:12He was never dead man.
09:14The whole time you was faking.
09:17And you beating John Cena?
09:20You gravely mistaken.
09:22See, you old news, dog.
09:26Fans won't even miss you.
09:28You ain't a dead man.
09:30You just a dead issue.
09:34And at vengeance, I'm gonna prove the big dog is all bark.
09:39I'm gonna claim my territory.
09:42Piss right on the mark.
09:47Word life.
09:54Yo, Undertaker, you say I gotta learn the hard way?
09:56I got a PhD in Thuganomics.
09:58I know everything there is to know.
10:00I know we should put you out to pasture,
10:02have a seat on the porch.
10:04You scared to death to pass this new legend of torch.
10:07Changed from Lucifer after dead man in a casket?
10:10You mess with me, I put you to hell in a handbasket.
10:14Talkin' hellfire, tellin' people you devil.
10:16You's a flamer, punk, and you not on my level.
10:19You can't sacrifice me.
10:21My name ain't Midian.
10:23I go Waco on your ass like a Branch Davidian.
10:26Tellin' people you devil.
10:28Shoutin' 666.
10:30I claim heavenly vengeance.
10:32And I make you my bitch.
10:36So now you change yourself to the dead man walking.
10:40I'll leave you in a wheelchair, dude, like Stephen Hawking.
10:44What do fans like better?
10:45Fitted hats and throwbacks?
10:48Or a fairy like you wearing assless leather chaps?
10:52I'm the front man.
10:54You're fake like vinyl sider.
10:56Do your bad ass a favor.
10:59Get off them hogs you riding.
11:02This is thuganomics, bro.
11:04You can't touch me.
11:06All that dead man ain't filin' for bankruptcy.
11:10Armed with two steel chains, I'm throwin' double suit bones.
11:15John Cena's your last ride.
11:18Carve your name on tombstones.
11:20And at vengeance, you soak up blood like a tampon.
11:25You get left like Zach Gow.
11:28No leg to stand on.
11:31What?
11:35Yo, man, we got a change of scenery goin' on.
11:37No more Salvation Army furniture up in here.
11:39No more, uh, you know, PlayStation controls.
11:43We had to do it big time.
11:44This is Base Camp Studios.
11:46This is DJ Chaos, the mastermind behind everything.
11:50What's up, man?
11:52Chillin', chillin'.
11:53He is chillin'.
11:53He's livin' fat over here.
11:55You know, we got no heat up in there.
11:57We got the busted TV with the blurry screen in the corner.
12:00Look at this, man.
12:01Plasma.
12:02Plasma.
12:02Plasma and flat screens.
12:04You got equipment all over the place.
12:05More lights than a Christmas tree.
12:07Definitely.
12:07We didn't even have a Christmas tree.
12:09Anyway, you can hear in the background
12:11the track about WrestleMania,
12:14the biggest event of all time.
12:17WrestleMania 20, Madison Square Garden,
12:18no doubt is gonna be hype.
12:20WrestleMania 19 for John Cena?
12:23Not so hype.
12:25You know, I'm a young rookie comin' up,
12:27doin' the hip hop thing.
12:28A lot of people are questioning,
12:29am I legit?
12:30I am from the mean streets of West Newberry.
12:32So the hip hop community wasn't really takin' too well to me.
12:35So, I gotta get my rep.
12:37I gotta do what I gotta do.
12:38On national TV, I called out any MC to come and battle me at WrestleMania.
12:44What happened, Chaos?
12:45Nothing.
12:46At all.
12:47Nothing.
12:47Nothing.
12:48Nothing.
12:50Nobody showed up.
12:51But that's okay.
12:53We did things a little different.
12:55We had a little fun with it.
12:56So right now, I want you to check out what went down at WrestleMania 19, Seattle, Washington.
13:02Check it out.
13:03Come on back.
13:04Chaos now getting me into trouble.
13:06We're gonna lay this track down on WrestleMania highlights.
13:09Right now, you check out your own WrestleMania highlight.
13:11The first, the inaugural John Cena WrestleMania highlight.
13:16This is a nice place you got here, man.
13:18Thank you.
13:18It even smells good.
13:20Thank you.
13:20No, it's just me.
13:25Yo, I asked hip hop for a simple MC.
13:28They said they'd send me two.
13:32Fabulous and Jay-Z.
13:34But these gangsters didn't want to come up and see you on TV.
13:39I'm gonna tell all of y'all why they wouldn't battle with me.
13:43Yo, man.
13:45It's Jay-Z, man.
13:46I'm fully focused Rockefeller, man.
13:48I got my girlfriend, man.
13:50I don't need to come to Seattle.
13:52I'm the king of New York.
13:53All I need in this life of sin is me and my girlfriend, Rockefeller.
14:01Okay then, Bonnie.
14:03Where the hell is Clyde at?
14:04He ducked me like a bitch for a little battle rap.
14:09What you want me to do, man?
14:11Call out your fiance?
14:13I'd have better competition battle rapping with Beyonce.
14:18He's the king of New York.
14:20I'm a kid from the cellar.
14:22Only way he stays hard is by rocking another fella.
14:28Sorry that I didn't have that much time to diss you.
14:31I focus on Fabulous.
14:33He's my real issue.
14:35Dude, you need to stick to doing Reebok commercials.
14:39He showed up and tapped out after hearing me in rehearsal.
14:43They didn't arrest you for your guns.
14:45It's because your rap sucked.
14:48Cops charged him with illegally possessing two nuts.
14:55Trade your throwback shirt for a skirt, you little whiner.
14:59And hike up your skirt.
15:01I can see your mangina.
15:05You wanna blackball me?
15:07Well, at least I got a ball sack.
15:10If they lived at the sperm bank, they couldn't get their comeback.
15:17They talk about their ice and all the girls loving you.
15:22The only Bush he see is by watching George W.
15:29I'm a main event player.
15:31These fools are in the background.
15:33I take over you and then I take over SmackDown.
15:37They could do a show in their living room and still not sell out.
15:42This is the WWE.
15:44Get the F out.
15:46Yo, it's John Cena.
15:49Thuganomics hot as hell.
15:51He's just a bad idea.
15:54Like the XFL.
16:00Our main event WrestleMania 20.
16:03You see me, you out of luck.
16:05You don't like what I'm saying?
16:07Well, I just don't give up.
16:11Word life.
16:12This is basic thuganomics.
16:14This is basic thuganomics.
16:17Yo, what's up, man?
16:18This is where it happens.
16:19I'm about to go lay some lyrics for the talent album.
16:22In stores all over the place.
16:24Go and get yourself 150 copies.
16:25But there's some times where some talent thinks they have more talent than they really do.
16:33And there's been a handful of people just off the top of my head.
16:36Maybe Kurt Angle, Spanky, Rikishi, Big Show, Funaki.
16:45They think they got more talent than me.
16:48Call me out at my own game and want to battle rap with John Cena.
16:53Well, you're gonna find out later on how we do it in the studio.
16:57Right now, you're gonna peep how we do it in the ring.
17:01Check these battle raps out.
17:02I'll holla back at you later.
17:05All right, guys.
17:05Let me explain the rules.
17:07They're pretty simple.
17:09Each you men get to lay down your rap.
17:12And Big D's gonna pick the winner.
17:19So, being that Cena, you are dressed funnier than Rikishi.
17:24Sorry, I'm just joking around.
17:26You look good.
17:26I mean, you know, you look good.
17:28You're gonna go first, so go ahead, rap.
17:34Rikishi, you was lucky when you beat me.
17:36But in a verbal battle, nobody can defeat me.
17:39And I'm completely unaffected when you taught me.
17:43It's not my fault that all these women want me.
17:48It's not my fault that I got the better body.
17:52This is B squared and he's my one man posse.
17:55You wanna see a thug?
17:57Turn around and take a look.
17:59You're just another dude who came up short from Red Hook.
18:03This battle was over way before it even started.
18:06You against me?
18:08That's totally retarded.
18:10Me and B2 is way too nice for this place.
18:14Yo, Kish, how's it feel to get the verbal stink face?
18:26Well, it's pretty obvious that Dallas thought you were great, John.
18:30Anyway, go ahead, Big Keith, lay it down, baby.
18:42Look, dog, you standing there trying to be all nice.
18:48But everybody knows you worse than vanilla ice.
19:01See, we old school thugs, and this game ain't new to me.
19:06Boy, I ain't scared of no Eminem wannabe.
19:13That hurt.
19:20Let me break it down to you.
19:23I was shot twice, almost lost my life.
19:27But the big boss upstairs said, peace, the time ain't right.
19:39I've been raising the roof since the age of three.
19:43From New York to Cali, all the way back to the big D.
19:54Man, I got screwed at backlash, so I'm out here to discuss this.
20:00I won that match.
20:02It was a miscarriage of justice.
20:06Everybody saw it.
20:08Brock was tapping on my headlock.
20:11Hell, I beat Brock like the Mets beat the Red Sox.
20:19Yo, I had him busted wide open, exposing all his weak spots.
20:26All he had on me was a few frickin' cheap shots.
20:32And everybody saw, man, the ref was my downfall.
20:37He was missing calls like Bill Buckner misses ground balls.
20:43I remember that.
20:45Not only did I beat Brock, I made him quit.
20:50And I got no respect for that piece of-
20:56Don't quite know what match John Cena was watching.
20:59Wait a minute.
21:06You got it.
21:08You knew who that is, don't you?
21:09Brian Kendrick.
21:11Brian Kendrick.
21:12Yeah, he's dressed like shoelace dresses.
21:16I dress like that on weekends.
21:17That's right.
21:18Yeah, like Sugar Hill, Fresh Prince, Humpty Dumpty.
21:21Humpty, humpty, humpty, humpty.
21:22That's the egg.
21:24What is Brian Kendrick doing out here?
21:26Yeah, that Brian Kendrick, he's got one big clock, I'll tell you that.
21:29This kid does all kinds of weird things.
21:31Remember the day he streaked around the arena just to try to get a job?
21:34Yo, kill that kid's music right now.
21:36Kill his music.
21:37Yo, you coming out on my turf, dawg.
21:40Kids get left out here.
21:42Who do you think you are, cat?
21:44Yo, yo, yo.
21:45The name is Spanky McBeryl Scrapens, dawg.
21:49But you can call me a Spanky.
21:52Nice cold tooth.
21:55Spanky.
21:59Go ahead, Spanky.
22:03Spanky.
22:03Spanky, dawg.
22:05I can't Spanky, dawg.
22:07No, just Spanky.
22:08Dawg.
22:08What the hell do you want, Spanky?
22:11Well, Cena, I was in the back and I heard them lies.
22:15So I came up with a rap of my own about backlight.
22:17Joe, I see the goofy ass outfit in the clock.
22:21You came up with a rap.
22:23I came up with a rap, but I'm gonna need a beat, Cena.
22:27You got a rap and you need a beat.
22:29No, no, no, no.
22:30I'll take care of that.
22:31Hey, yo, white boy.
22:33White boy.
22:34Yo, come here.
22:35I thought it was you.
22:35Yeah, you, you punk looking.
22:37Come here, come here.
22:40Hey, give him a beat.
22:43Give him a beat?
22:45Referee Brian Hebner.
22:46Referee Hebner.
22:47He's from Richmond.
22:48What does he know about beats?
22:50I don't know.
23:00All right.
23:02What the hell is going on?
23:03Yeah.
23:04Woo-hoo.
23:08Yo, John Cena, your matchup backlash might have put you on the map.
23:13Boy, you telling these people, it ain't nothing but crap.
23:18You must be blind, dog.
23:21I bet you can't see this clock.
23:23But they'd seen it, and I'd seen it.
23:26You got beat by Brock.
23:31Hold on, dog.
23:33But now I'm gonna show you what I'm all about.
23:35But I need all my homies here to help me out.
23:40Come on and wave your hands in the air.
23:42Come on, Tess.
23:43Everybody, wave your hands in the air.
23:45I don't like waving.
23:46Wave your hands in the air.
23:48Come on.
23:49And wave them like you just don't care.
23:50Oh, stop.
23:51Cold.
23:52And you're down with man kissing somebody and say, oh, yeah.
23:55Oh, yeah.
23:56Oh, yeah.
23:59Oh, yeah.
24:00Oh, yeah.
24:00Oh, yeah.
24:01This is surreal.
24:02What's going on?
24:04Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
24:05When I say Cedar, you say sucks.
24:08Cedar.
24:10Cedar.
24:10Cedar.
24:11When I say Cedar, you say sucks.
24:14Cedar.
24:15Cedar.
24:16All right, pump the brakes, everybody.
24:19Pump the brakes.
24:20We're gonna bring it down for a second.
24:22Pump the brakes now.
24:23Are you ready?
24:24I'm gonna bring it down for a second.
24:27You, you, you, you, you, you, you, ah!
24:31You, you, you, you, you, you, you, you.
24:36Beep, Beep.
24:39You, you, you, you, you, you, you, oh, beep.
24:44Io, bro, Spankio, a cha-da-cha-cha.
24:50My God.
24:51Man!
24:53Time's over.
24:54I think it was a thumbs down from John Cena.
24:57And John Cena is gonna beat the hell out of Spanky.
25:01So he's pushed through this and Kendrick's spanked.
25:04No, no.
25:05Kendrick's about to get the FU.
25:07What?
25:08FU, kinda like the F5.
25:10That's what Cena calls this.
25:15I'm that ill cat with more cork in his back than Sammy Sosa.
25:22I'm too ghetto for merchandise, so kids make their own posters.
25:27Orlando fans are in the stands throwing up them double hands.
25:32After the show, Michael Cole's gonna chase some boy bands.
25:36That's nice, John.
25:38Hey, Taz, Taz, calm down your man.
25:40You gotta tell him to slow down.
25:42He's got them weird posters of NSYNC and he's falling in love with O-Town.
25:54I'll cut your two-tone mullet and kick you dead in the camel toe.
26:02Hey, you should go back to announcing this whole match is a waste, man.
26:06I don't need to wrestle you, you're choking yourself with your waistband.
26:12I ain't from Orlando, but I got the magic stick.
26:15That means I represent your city when I grab my-
26:20Come on, I'm shoelace.
26:23Yeah, well Cena thinks your knot's a little loose there, shoelace.
26:28Bye, bye, bye.
26:30That was great.
26:34What up, dog?
26:37Hold up, please, hold up, please.
26:39Shh, shh, shh.
26:41U, G, L, Y, you ain't got no alba.
26:48You ugly.
26:49Yo, yo, you ugly.
26:51Yo, yo, you ugly.
26:54Yo, yo, you ugly.
26:56What's ugly?
26:56What is that?
26:57Ugly.
26:58Well, he said, what's ugly, what's ugly?
27:00He's got an accent.
27:02He's a robot.
27:06It's not wise to take off Cena.
27:08Playtime's over.
27:11You want a battle?
27:13I refuse to get ripped, you little bitch.
27:18You couldn't wrap a Christmas gift.
27:21You're not all American, Kurt.
27:24You wore out the gimmick.
27:25He couldn't win a bronze medal in the Special Olympics.
27:31I'm the dirty America.
27:33Look in my eyes, I'm right here.
27:35You're the American dream.
27:37I'm America's nightmare.
27:40I'm just a punk pissing off more people than prank calls.
27:45Hope you got your three eyes, Kurt, because you got no balls.
27:53And when God was handing out brains, it's obvious you didn't get none.
27:59I'm usually throwing up two fingers, but you're special.
28:02You only get one.
28:06So hit this cat's music so the fans can say you suck too.
28:12This finger doesn't mean you're number one, Kurt.
28:15It means I'm saying.
28:38Except for that last line, that was pretty good.
28:42I mean, Cena, I can't compete with that.
28:44You're a tremendous rapper.
28:47But I'll tell you what I'm gonna do.
28:50Instead of rapping tonight, I'm gonna tell you a little story.
28:55And it goes something like this.
28:59There once was a kid who liked to talk a lot of smack.
29:07He's actually whiter than me, but he thinks he's black.
29:19And the kid thinks that he's the king of talking trash.
29:27Until one day, he bumped heads with the king of kicking ass.
29:38He had a secret weapon.
29:41He liked to use a steel chain.
29:47I'll shove it straight up your ass if you try to use it again.
29:57He can't run.
30:00He can't hide.
30:01It doesn't even matter if he's rapping.
30:05Because at No Mercy, when I get my hands on him, his bitch ass will be tapping.
30:15Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, listen to me.
30:17I'm calling you out for a battle rap, son.
30:19So I want you to check this out.
30:21You ready?
30:23Yo, my name is The Big Show, and it ain't done meaner.
30:27Last week, I screwed over you, John Cena.
30:37Yo, dude, I don't punch you out all over town.
30:42What you gonna do about it, bitch?
30:44I'm 500 pounds.
30:46Yeah, it rhymed.
30:48Yo, that's better.
30:50That's better, I'm feeling that, I'm feeling that, I'm feeling that.
30:53Okay, I got one.
30:59Look at you looking at me, you nothing, I'm a giant.
31:06In my world, you the white girl, and I'm Kobe Bryant.
31:12Wow, that's nice.
31:15Well, no comment.
31:26Now, dawg, you can't see me.
31:29In the ring, I'm better than you on a stick.
31:34Matter of fact, my finger is bigger than your finger.
31:40Big Show did all right, Cole, not for nothing.
31:42Not bad.
31:43Started off a little slow, about two miles an hour, but he picked up the pace.
31:47He got his flow, for God's sakes.
31:49Yeah, but John Cena hasn't done anything yet.
31:52It's a battle rap, remember?
31:53He gets an opportunity.
31:55Right on the guy's parade, for God's sakes.
31:58That show's not known for rapping.
32:00He's all excited, right?
32:02All right, chill, chill, chill, chill, chill.
32:12Could you repeat that last line?
32:18I didn't really get that.
32:20I just heard you heavy breathing, dude, and choking on your neck fat.
32:29Man, I can't believe how out of shape that you getting.
32:33You've been talking for 30 seconds, dude.
32:35You're already sweating.
32:40Did you eat from the toilet?
32:44I'm smelling mysterious gases.
32:47Oh, bro, close your mouth.
32:49You've got the breath of a thousand asses.
32:56Yo, it's either that, or you rocking some phony pits.
33:01You're just a fat slob with hairy baloney tits.
33:09You need to hit them sit-ups, too.
33:12You're not exactly the leanest.
33:14Forget seeing me, bro.
33:16You can't see your own penis.
33:23And mine is bigger than your finger.
33:27It's as big as your whole head.
33:30You think I'm coming up short?
33:32That's not what your mom said.
33:36I think Cena won.
33:39I think Cena.
33:46I can't.
33:48Cena, Cena, Cena, Cena, Cena.
33:51Well, there's only one Cena.
33:53And since this is a battle wrap, I know I'm not getting hurt.
33:57How am I gonna get dissed by the white fat Albert?
34:03So now your rap career is over.
34:07It's time for you to quit.
34:09Ain't no place for a 500-pound talking piece of shit.
34:15Uh, I think...
34:17Oh, man!
34:19And John Cena with a cheap shot to the Big Show for good measure.
34:24You can't see this.
34:26Yo, man, this is Base Camp Studios.
34:28This is the place where I recorded the original theme music,
34:32Basic Thuganomics, when I come out to the ring.
34:35See, they had me coming out for this wack music.
34:38And you know what?
34:39I ain't like that.
34:39I'm not just gonna do what the company says.
34:42I'm not gonna do what the boss says.
34:44As a matter of fact, as you all know,
34:48I ain't afraid to go toe-to-toe with the boss.
34:50I ain't afraid to go toe-to-toe with the general manager.
34:53So what I want y'all to do right now,
34:56beat the Wayback Machine and check out me going toe-to-toe with, uh,
35:00or maybe I should say toe-to-tail with Stephanie McMahon.
35:04And then after that, why don't you beat me going toe-to-toe with the man himself,
35:10Vince McMahon.
35:12Check those out, holla back.
35:16Yo, hey.
35:19I'm sorry to interrupt you, Steph.
35:22I had this dream about you last night.
35:28You had me standing at attention.
35:31I can't wait to see you cat fight.
35:37Oh, sorry, I lost my concentration.
35:40I was looking at your targets.
35:47And at vengeance,
35:50hopefully I find out if the curtain matches the carpets.
35:55No, I mean, I'll be glued to the boob too.
35:58No, you're gonna squash Sable completely.
36:01You made all five of my girlfriends jealous.
36:04Each one of them wants to beat me.
36:09You and Sable fighting?
36:11That's good for my health.
36:13Just something about you makes me keep in touch with myself.
36:19Look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look.
36:21Hey, no, no, no, that's okay, that's okay.
36:24Here's 20 bucks.
36:33I got this little fetish with nipples.
36:38I'll definitely get my rocks off.
36:43And Sable's just a hoe.
36:45You're a diva with class.
36:52Nobody's watching us, Steph.
36:54Why don't you let me smack that?
37:03You serious about that, John?
37:05Let me think about it.
37:06Hell yeah.
37:07You wanna put your money where your mouth is?
37:10Are you serious?
37:11Then do it.
37:14No.
37:14I dare you.
37:16Do it?
37:18She did him.
37:19Oh, my God.
37:24And he did.
37:26Oh, man.
37:28Yo, yo.
37:29Oh, no, no.
37:30My bad.
37:31This is Houston.
37:35You see that?
37:36They got their own slang around here.
37:38Let me start over.
37:40Yow, yow, yow, yow, yow, yow, yow.
37:48So, Vince, you're stealing my catchphrases?
37:55Do you love me that much?
37:59John Cena's untouchable.
38:01You just got nothing to touch.
38:08Ask your slut.
38:14She's only with you for the money, Holmes.
38:18When she's done stealing from you, she comes to tickle my funny bones.
38:26Look at you all busted up talking about the PPV.
38:31Undertaker beat you blind because you can't see me.
38:41You may pay for the show.
38:44But you standing in my ring.
38:47I'll stretch your ass out so much the crowd will think you're Yao Ming.
38:55Oh, yeah.
38:56And you're good for one thing.
38:58She taught you how to suck.
39:04John Cena's untouchable.
39:07You just a stupid.
39:09Word life.
39:10This is basic thunderdomics.
39:12This is basic thunderdomics.
39:14Word life.
39:17I want to touch it for you, but I'm forcing you to appear.
39:20Word life.
39:21This is basic thunderdomics.
39:25This is the crew.
39:26We got the freak is in the house.
39:28We got trademarks still here after getting his ass whipped.
39:31We got 7L, my boy Esoteric rocking a gangster tilt hat.
39:35And of course, we got chaos doing their things on ones and twos.
39:38Turntables.
39:38You know, just here doing whatever.
39:40Having fun, doing whatever happens.
39:43Right now, y'all are gonna check out whatever happens in the ring.
39:47questo è qualcosa che mi guarda di neer e di me
39:50perché come qui,
39:52è che cosa che ciò che è andato a questo.
39:54E in the ring con John Cena,
39:56è che cosa che ciò che ciò che è andato a questo.
39:57Che questi freestyles out,
39:59perché è che cosa che ciò che è andato a questo.
40:10Io, io, io!
40:15so tonight john cena's gotta fight a rhinoceros i'll rip his crotch out and make him see a
40:23gynecologist you're half man and half beast is that supposed to impress me man my fist
40:33will swell your face you'll be the white dizzy gillespie
40:38i bet you fans think rhino's gonna give me the gore i'll beat his ass so sore it's like he
40:45did a prison
40:46tour yo this is thuganomics i excel beyond sports he rocks a horn on his head i rock a horn
40:59in my
40:59shorts and to that kid spanky imitating my flows i'm glad i broke his nose and ripped off his
41:10freaking clothes he had the whole crowd chanting cena sucks
41:25you think i do well f you because i just don't give up
41:32so now i wrestle mr ass the dude who likes to suck it
41:42tory's a cover-up bro we know you take it in the bucket
41:47hey man hey hey i'm not nervous because you got this weird fetish with butts i'm scared because
41:56your favorite food is sausage and nuts
42:01you can't handle the truth billy you'd rather feel up chuck you don't want to wrestle with me
42:07all you want is to man this is ridiculous zach gowan versus me
42:18two minutes ago you wanted my autograph on a word life ringer t
42:25are you stupid i just beat the undertaker man
42:30i can handle the last ride i can handle the last ride you can't handle the last stand
42:39only offense you got is a plastic leg drop
42:45and whether you like it or not homie you feeling hip-hop
42:51oh no no no no no no no you're still good for two things and one is being a waste
42:57of space
43:00the others being a perfect partner in a three-legged race
43:06yo yo yo that's okay see we got something in common zach but i can pull off the trick
43:14i got one leg i don't need a fake i put a boot on my yeah he's a real classy
43:20guy
43:25i underestimated the guerreros i don't know what to say bro
43:29those dudes are better at cheating than ben affleck is with j-lo
43:34i don't got the u.s title but i didn't lose any steam
43:39screw ted turner and the braves i'm america's team john cena's more american than silicone strippers
43:49leaving cats dead in their tracks from heart attacks like john ritter and next week john cena
43:56fulfills his patriotic duty i'll be higher than hippies at 420 watching a cheech and chong movie
44:03and i'm an american thug standing on top of this building
44:09leaving all opposition dead like saddam hussein's children word life
44:20yo wait a second wait a second wait a second man chill chill
44:26what are you doing man this is thanksgiving rhino you gotta say grace before you eat down down down
44:34so let's all hey let's all just just bow our heads come on for this moment of blessing
44:41and toss tori wilson's salad and hope there's no dressing
44:46we can eat her breasts and thighs when i get her alone
44:49i spoon feed her white meat and hope she chokes on a bone i brought banana cream dawn you want
44:56to
44:56give it a try for dessert i'm getting some of that dawn marie pie
45:03shenequa why you sitting with them bastions at all you got a plate full of sausage he's choking on a
45:08ball
45:09let me give you some advice cut these losers loose let me put some white sprinkles on your chocolate mousse
45:19you may be native american but i'm pitching a teepee you make me stand up and want to smack my
45:24freaking tv
45:26you can make it real steamy just like a pressure cooker and after you've done with me you hit the
45:31gobbledygooker
45:36y'all gonna feast on this pie but wait a minute while i check it
45:39because i'll get my pop first everybody else is second amen amen
45:48i got everybody see it in my house next year for thanksgiving it's a hell of a speech
45:54yo yo yo yo yo
46:03if y'all are down with thuganomics let me see your hands rise
46:12about time they realize that john cena is the franchise
46:18all your parents hate me because i got a dirty mouth but we're still kicking ass up in the dirty
46:27south
46:33i got fans pee in their pants like old folks with blue blockers
46:40now i'm about to give the f you to chewbacca
46:45and you ain't a wookie man i kill it with this sweet talk
46:50when i'm done with him he'll be a little bitty ewok
46:56a train beating john cena that's no dice you get kicked off my campus quicker than coach price
47:13and you you ain't a a train you's a baby carriage i'ma bust you up quicker than britney spears's marriage
47:26there's a lot of material on this dvd but when it comes time to choose my favorite freestyle of all
47:32time i'd have to say it was when wwe teamed up with uso and went to baghdad iraq to perform
47:39a live
47:40smackdown tv for the men and women in the armed forces over in iraq this uh whole experience just
47:48being over there was unbelievable just to meet the men and women that fight for this country every day
47:55the amount of respect that i gained for what they do for me
48:00and not only did i get the opportunity to wrestle in front of these people but i got the opportunity
48:05to speak and tell them how i felt you know we had a little fun as we always do but
48:10i really had a
48:11message that i wanted to give to them this is easily my favorite freestyle of all time for obvious
48:17reasons this was the biggest moment of my wwe career so enjoy it check it out i just want to
48:25send
48:25love to all our men and women in the armed forces holding it down
48:38for real being here with you today fulfills every dream on my christmas checklist
48:49now all i got left to do is give tori wilson a pearl necklace
48:58but first i got big show trouble that dude is making my blood hot i'm gonna bust his face up
49:07it
49:07look like saddam hussein's mug shot
49:12they say i can't beat the big show i say go ahead and watch i may be wrestling a giant
49:20but the real big
49:21show's in my crotch
49:26yo no doubt this match is huge come on y'all let's be honest i ain't losing a big show
49:34this ain't no pie
49:35eating contest
49:38and he can't see us bro this game is tight
49:44oh man you can't see me what you can't see me that's right he can't see me because this game
49:55is tight
49:56big show beating me he's like trying to get the french to fight
50:12he picked the wrong freaking day to start some beef with me i got air force navy army and usmc
50:24for real saddam never had a chance with troops like you around him
50:32we should bury that bastard in the same hole that you found him
50:42i want to say thanks for protecting me and my children's children
50:50and for fighting for the people who lost their lives in the day of the fallen buildings
50:57y'all are the real heroes
51:00i place nobody above you this is coming from my heart peace y'all i love you
51:23and i do too john cena is correct
51:43Sì, sì, sì, sì.
52:00As you're looking around, we've got seven dudes up on the couch, we've got the candles lit, we've got the
52:05painting in the background.
52:07It's getting a little too romantic for me.
52:10All right, see, you wind me up.
52:12You know what I mean?
52:13So for the Freakers, for Chaos, for 7L and Esoteric, for Turdmark the Ass Burglar, yes!
52:21We're calling it quits.
52:22I'd just like to say thank you to everybody involved in this project.
52:26These are the people that put the album together.
52:27I want to thank them.
52:28I want to thank you, the consumer, for buying, not bootlegging the disc.
52:32And that's it, man.
52:33We out of here.
52:35That's it, man.
52:37Do it.
52:38Do the thing.
52:40Ready?
52:40One time, ready?
52:42That's it.
52:44Yeah, let's go.
52:57Move that man in.
52:58And we about...
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